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25 Questions You're Afraid to Ask About Love, Sex, and Intimacy
Whether you are married or single, having great sex or no sex, your sexuality is inseparable from your spirituality.
Many Christian women are confused and even devastated by the area of sexuality. In the silence of the church, they are left to sort through harrowing experiences like sexual abuse, exposure to porn, raging temptation, homosexual thoughts, and betrayal in marriage-all on their own.
Having nowhere to go to ask the hard questions about sexuality can be spiritually dangerous. Women need the truth.
In 25 Questions You're Afraid to Ask About Love, Sex, and Intimacy, Dr. Juli Slattery addresses some of the most common questions women have on sexuality from a biblical perspective, such as:
What if I don't like sex?
If I'm single, how far is too far?
Is ______ok in the bedroom?
How do I get past my shame?
What if I want sex more than my husband does?
These are the type of questions that thousands of women have been asking Dr. Slattery. She answers them with rare candor, grace, and wisdom.
We desperately need God's perspective on sexuality. And fortunately, the Bible has a lot to say on the topic. Some of it might surprise you.
Many Christian women are confused and even devastated by the area of sexuality. In the silence of the church, they are left to sort through harrowing experiences like sexual abuse, exposure to porn, raging temptation, homosexual thoughts, and betrayal in marriage-all on their own.
Having nowhere to go to ask the hard questions about sexuality can be spiritually dangerous. Women need the truth.
In 25 Questions You're Afraid to Ask About Love, Sex, and Intimacy, Dr. Juli Slattery addresses some of the most common questions women have on sexuality from a biblical perspective, such as:
What if I don't like sex?
If I'm single, how far is too far?
Is ______ok in the bedroom?
How do I get past my shame?
What if I want sex more than my husband does?
These are the type of questions that thousands of women have been asking Dr. Slattery. She answers them with rare candor, grace, and wisdom.
We desperately need God's perspective on sexuality. And fortunately, the Bible has a lot to say on the topic. Some of it might surprise you.
224 pages, Paperback
First published October 6, 2015
35 people are currently reading
243 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 44 reviews
February 8, 2017
Some may think this title is strange or inappropriate for a Christian book; but in reality, our sexual nature is a part of what God created.
Each chapter deals with a question many of us ask. Dr. Juli Slattery answers that question with thoughtful insight and great empathy, and above all, with love and truth.
For many Christians we were taught false teachings about sex, our sexuality, and what the Bible says. Some of us were simply not taught; usually because it was considered a taboo subject within the church or our homes.
With grace this book speaks candidly about these issues, such as:
Is it wrong to like sex?
What if I want sex more than my husband does?
Is ____ okay in the bedroom? (You fill in the blank!)
How do I get past my shame?
What's wrong with mommy porn?
What if I don't like sex?
Why wouldn't God want me to be happy?
These are just a few of the issues. I encourage single, engaged, married, and even widowed Christians to read this book. So many helpful insights that not only will strengthen our relationship with another, but also with God.
Don't let embarrassment or false shame keep you from exploring in depth God's word and design about sex.
Each chapter deals with a question many of us ask. Dr. Juli Slattery answers that question with thoughtful insight and great empathy, and above all, with love and truth.
For many Christians we were taught false teachings about sex, our sexuality, and what the Bible says. Some of us were simply not taught; usually because it was considered a taboo subject within the church or our homes.
With grace this book speaks candidly about these issues, such as:
Is it wrong to like sex?
What if I want sex more than my husband does?
Is ____ okay in the bedroom? (You fill in the blank!)
How do I get past my shame?
What's wrong with mommy porn?
What if I don't like sex?
Why wouldn't God want me to be happy?
These are just a few of the issues. I encourage single, engaged, married, and even widowed Christians to read this book. So many helpful insights that not only will strengthen our relationship with another, but also with God.
Don't let embarrassment or false shame keep you from exploring in depth God's word and design about sex.
October 30, 2015
This book is amazing! It is easy to read and easy to share. You can read it in order or skip around. Just get it!!!! Dr. Juli has given some answers. Not her answers, but God's answers. This book stays true to the Bible by sharing what it really says about love, sex, and intimacy. Surprisingly, the Bible has alot to say about these topics. Married and single women will find great answers to the questions that everyone thinks, but may be afraid to ask. You probably will never hear these answers preached in a sermon, but you will love the wisdom and wit in this book. One quote that stood out to me that describes the essence of the book is, "Bring your mess before Jesus and ask Him to show you how to rebuild on the truth of His unchanging Word!" Get ready to challenge the "mess" of old mindsets, unhealed wounds, and anything the enemy meant for evil. This book is a tool to help you see God's plan for love, sex and intimacy unfold in YOUR life!
November 4, 2015
Honest, insightful, Biblical, and ready to tackle the questions many are afraid to answer. I feel like the author really challenged readers to look beyond society's or even the Church's surface answers to how God really designed us and what His best answers would be even if that might sometimes look a little different for the individual or when the answers really are cut and dried but we try to look for ways around them.
January 21, 2024
I felt like this was a very grace-filled book. She deals with subjects like singleness, saving sex, homosexuality, trouble in marriage, accepting forgiveness for sin, and so much more. I appreciated that she didn’t waver from sharing “this is what the Bible teaches” in definite terms. She equally has empathy towards struggles while standing on truth, which I appreciate.
May 11, 2020
I wish I had read this book 10 years ago. The author’s tone is warm and inviting, but she also points everything back to the unchanging truth of Scripture. Her perspective is helpful for one coming out of the pitfalls of early-2000s “purity culture” while still seeking to have a godly, intimate marriage.
November 3, 2025
This was an excellent book with a lot of thought provoking questions and thorough Biblical answers. While not every question is relatable to every woman it’s easy to find the ones that do apply. Even the chapters on things not directly related to questions or thoughts I’ve had were still helpful perspectives into issues other women may have. I highly recommend this book to anyone who might’ve been raised with no discussion or conversation on Godly views of sex and sexuality as it definitely answered many questions I’ve held throughout my life and helped me look at many things in a new light and with a new perspective.
October 21, 2025
Lo que me agradó de este libro es que la autora lo escribió pensando en un público femenino general; es decir, solteras, casadas y madres, por eso es que puedes sentirte cómoda en leer algo que es para ti.
Aquí se responden 25 preguntas, pero no de forma superficial, sino con base bíblica en su mayoría (sabemos que hay cosas que la Biblia no explica de forma directa o explícita).
Este libro cambiará tu perspectiva sobre el sexo, la intimidad y el amor. Seas soltera, comprometida o casada, este libro te dará una perspectiva diferente de estos temas relevantes.
Aquí se responden 25 preguntas, pero no de forma superficial, sino con base bíblica en su mayoría (sabemos que hay cosas que la Biblia no explica de forma directa o explícita).
Este libro cambiará tu perspectiva sobre el sexo, la intimidad y el amor. Seas soltera, comprometida o casada, este libro te dará una perspectiva diferente de estos temas relevantes.
November 2, 2022
Probably 3.5 stars... This book covers a lot of topics pretty well, but I would have appreciated more depth in handing some hard things (in one's self or in one's marriage).
Overall, however, a helpful, quick-read book which I would recommend and even re-read.
Overall, however, a helpful, quick-read book which I would recommend and even re-read.
April 20, 2023
Has great points about what God says about Sex and Intimacy within marriage, but this book is directed towards women and I wish I knew that going in. Also it can be a tad redundant at times but still very good information and a rather easy read.
Book Score: 7.5/10
Book Score: 7.5/10
February 13, 2020
Second book that I have loved by Slattery
April 8, 2021
Yes, I read the book...and yes, I contemplated whether or not to post that fact on here when I began it. But I realized that sex is a topic that is rarely spoken about in churches, but one of the most important topics that needs to be addressed. It is because of the lack of education on Biblical intimacy in the church that teenagers and young adults turn to the world for advice, landing them in situations that could have been avoided had the church taken its responsibility seriously.
A lot of what was in this book I have read in marriage prep books, but I appreciated Dr. Slattery's way of writing. The outline was simple and easy to navigate. And she wrote on topics directed toward both married and single women, making it a book that I would suggest to any woman of dating age as well as married women who seek to strengthen their marital intimacy.
Here are the things I want to remember out of it:
"The Hebrew word for sexual intimacy between a husband and wife in the Old Testament is the word 'yada,' which literally means, 'to know deeply or intimately.' The word 'yada' appears in the Old Testament over 940 times. No, there isn't that much sex in the Old Testament. The word 'yada' is most often used to describe intimacy with God--His with us, and ours with Him (See Ps 139:1, Prov. 3:6, Ex. 33:12-13). Sexual intimacy is a powerful picture of the Gospel--of the degree of intimacy and ecstasy we are capable of having with God."
"Your sexuality is inseparable from your spirituality. In fact, every sexual choice is also a spiritual choice. Sex isn't just about sex."
"Singles can also understand something deeper about God through their sexuality. Jesus talked about how we will mourn and long for the Bridegroom when He is not with us. We will ache for His presence and have deep longings that are unmet...remember that intimacy doesn't [just] mean sex, [it is] the feeling of being known, cherished, valued, and loved...[God's] will is for you to have intimate relationships within the body of Christ. In some cases, deep friendships can be even more fulfilling than marriage. David expressed this about his intimate friendship with Jonathan: 'the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul (I Sam. 18:1).' Paul, who was single most (if not all) of his life, often speaks lovingly in his letters about many intimate friendships that encouraged him through the years."
"Think about sex as a gift like Legos...the first time a kid sees a box of Legos, he might be naive enough to think that the box actually contains a toy that looks like the cool picture on the front. Imagine his disappointment when he opens the Legos to find hundreds of seemingly random pieces of plastic instead of the Batmobile or Starship that was promised by the box cover. The genius and fun of Legos is creativity. First, you follow the directions and build the design represented on the box. But then no child can resist the desire to build something new, to tear the blocks apart and start another creation...What we don't realize is that God can use the frustration [of not having picturesque sex] as part of the gift. Sexual intimacy isn't just a means of expressing love. Nor is it primarily the way to feel close. Sex is also the laboratory in which our love is tested, revealed, and refined."
"Having sex in marriage releases important hormones in the male brain, including dopamine (the 'feel good' hormone) and oxytocin (the bonding hormone). In fact, a man who has regular sex with his wife can actually become 'addicted' to her. The word addiction always has a negative connotation in our minds. In essence, we become addicted to harmful things like drugs and pornography when we pair these potent brain responses inappropriately, but there are also 'healthy addictions' to things like human contact, exercise, and sex in marriage. God has a purpose in how He created sexuality to produce a powerful response in a man...when a man has an orgasm, the release of these brain chemicals can trigger an intoxicating effect in which he views his wife as more beautiful and desirable than he would without sex."
"How do you find the balance between stain at your bedroom ceiling and feeding a sexual addiction? The best illustration I've ever heard is comparing sex to cooking...in your sexual relationship, there will be 'fast food,' 'home cooked meals,' and 'holiday feasts.' Fast food sex is all about meeting an immediate need. When you are exhausted and your husband desperately wants to be intimate, somethings you just have sex to satisfy his immediate need (or vice versa). It may not be super-pleasurable or fulfilling for you, but it serves a purpose. This is much like stopping for fast food on a busy day. It fills your stomach temporarily, but you certainly don't want to make a habit of it. Home-cooked sex is the basic standby. Usually it requires some thinking and planning ahead. You and your husband take time to enjoy each other physically, but there is not twelve-piece orchestra playing or fireworks display. You both are fulfilled sexually and emotionally--the interaction helps you feel connected and intimate. A holiday feast happens every so often. The table is filled with rich and new foods...this type of sex is important, even if it isn't frequent. It's for that weekend getaway or anniversary celebration. You and your husband put thought, planning, and set aside large quantities of time simply to explore and enjoy each other."
"John Piper states our problem is not that we like pleasure too much, but that we settle for too little...as you consider your own temptations with sexuality, do they occur because your drive to experience pleasure is too great or because you settle for a cheap version of satisfaction? We must realize that every choice to compromise sexually is more than a moral failure...it is a choice away from ultimate joy and pleasure for which we were created."
We must not focus so much on God's attribute of love, that we forget his holiness. "Remember the rich young ruler who asked Jesus what he must do to inherit eternal life? Jesus told him the standard, to forsake his wealth and follow Him. When the young man walked away from Jesus, our Savior was grieved, but He did not change the standard of righteousness."
"Few Christians who embrace homosexuality believe that it was part of God's original perfect design...just look at the way our anatomy fits together, male and female. Consider that in the creation account in Genesis, God created Eve to 'complete' Adam and that together they represent the image of God. This means that homosexuality represents a fallen world--sin and brokenness--just as our propensity toward addiction, gluttony, pride, hatred, and selfishness does. If there is a 'gay gene,' we could argue that there is also a promiscuity gene and anger gene. To accept homosexuality as a normal expression of God's design is to say that God is okay with us living within our brokenness, instead of seeking Him through that brokenness...sometimes God delivers us from our brokenness and other times He strengthens us through it. The bottom line is this: God's power is sufficient in your weakness."
"Marriage was never supposed to be about creating a love that is brand new; instead, it asks us to discover and replicate God's love that has existed since the garden of Eden."
"We are called to be clothed with love, forgiveness, and compassion and to be open to restoration. However, wisdom dictates that we use discernment, knowing that sometimes it is best to love from a distance."
"Conflicts are intentional and fights are impulsive. A fight always begins with an impulsive reaction to how we are feeling. He said something insensitive or I did something that ticked [him] off, and away we go. When we get into a fight, it usually feels for one of us like we have to talk about it right now--not because it's urgent but because we can't control how we are feeling...almost all conflicts are more likely to be resolved if we give each other time to process, pray, and get perspective...most important issues in a marriage don't have to be resolved today...although it may feel like you need resolution, find your own peace in bringing the issue before the Lord before seeking peace with your spouse...conflict isn't motivated by getting your way or proving your point. The goal is to become like-minded and understanding each other at a deeper level. Even if you and your husband will never see an issue exactly the same, through conflict, you can gain an appreciation for each other's perspective."
"Switching from a pattern of fighting to healthy conflict means refusing to make your spouse the enemy and being patient to wait until the right time and setting to talk the issues through in a loving manner. Ask God to give you the wisdom you need to make this change in your heart and your marriage."
"Tozer taught that such heresy (believe God is different from what He actually is) begins when we emphasize one attribute of God above all the other attributes. In other words, we can be holding truths about God, but favoring certain truths to the point where we disregard the totality of God's character."
"When God stops giving us things, He brings us into the place where we can begin to understand HIm. As long as we get from God everything we ask for, we never get to know Him, we look upon Him as a blessing-machine that has nothing to do with God's character or with our characters. It is not sufficient for us to say, 'Oh yes, God is love.' We have to know He is love. We have to struggle through until we do see He is love and justice. Then our prayer is answered."
Marriage is a team effort to help each other fight temptation and stay pure. Hold each other accountable.
A lot of what was in this book I have read in marriage prep books, but I appreciated Dr. Slattery's way of writing. The outline was simple and easy to navigate. And she wrote on topics directed toward both married and single women, making it a book that I would suggest to any woman of dating age as well as married women who seek to strengthen their marital intimacy.
Here are the things I want to remember out of it:
"The Hebrew word for sexual intimacy between a husband and wife in the Old Testament is the word 'yada,' which literally means, 'to know deeply or intimately.' The word 'yada' appears in the Old Testament over 940 times. No, there isn't that much sex in the Old Testament. The word 'yada' is most often used to describe intimacy with God--His with us, and ours with Him (See Ps 139:1, Prov. 3:6, Ex. 33:12-13). Sexual intimacy is a powerful picture of the Gospel--of the degree of intimacy and ecstasy we are capable of having with God."
"Your sexuality is inseparable from your spirituality. In fact, every sexual choice is also a spiritual choice. Sex isn't just about sex."
"Singles can also understand something deeper about God through their sexuality. Jesus talked about how we will mourn and long for the Bridegroom when He is not with us. We will ache for His presence and have deep longings that are unmet...remember that intimacy doesn't [just] mean sex, [it is] the feeling of being known, cherished, valued, and loved...[God's] will is for you to have intimate relationships within the body of Christ. In some cases, deep friendships can be even more fulfilling than marriage. David expressed this about his intimate friendship with Jonathan: 'the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul (I Sam. 18:1).' Paul, who was single most (if not all) of his life, often speaks lovingly in his letters about many intimate friendships that encouraged him through the years."
"Think about sex as a gift like Legos...the first time a kid sees a box of Legos, he might be naive enough to think that the box actually contains a toy that looks like the cool picture on the front. Imagine his disappointment when he opens the Legos to find hundreds of seemingly random pieces of plastic instead of the Batmobile or Starship that was promised by the box cover. The genius and fun of Legos is creativity. First, you follow the directions and build the design represented on the box. But then no child can resist the desire to build something new, to tear the blocks apart and start another creation...What we don't realize is that God can use the frustration [of not having picturesque sex] as part of the gift. Sexual intimacy isn't just a means of expressing love. Nor is it primarily the way to feel close. Sex is also the laboratory in which our love is tested, revealed, and refined."
"Having sex in marriage releases important hormones in the male brain, including dopamine (the 'feel good' hormone) and oxytocin (the bonding hormone). In fact, a man who has regular sex with his wife can actually become 'addicted' to her. The word addiction always has a negative connotation in our minds. In essence, we become addicted to harmful things like drugs and pornography when we pair these potent brain responses inappropriately, but there are also 'healthy addictions' to things like human contact, exercise, and sex in marriage. God has a purpose in how He created sexuality to produce a powerful response in a man...when a man has an orgasm, the release of these brain chemicals can trigger an intoxicating effect in which he views his wife as more beautiful and desirable than he would without sex."
"How do you find the balance between stain at your bedroom ceiling and feeding a sexual addiction? The best illustration I've ever heard is comparing sex to cooking...in your sexual relationship, there will be 'fast food,' 'home cooked meals,' and 'holiday feasts.' Fast food sex is all about meeting an immediate need. When you are exhausted and your husband desperately wants to be intimate, somethings you just have sex to satisfy his immediate need (or vice versa). It may not be super-pleasurable or fulfilling for you, but it serves a purpose. This is much like stopping for fast food on a busy day. It fills your stomach temporarily, but you certainly don't want to make a habit of it. Home-cooked sex is the basic standby. Usually it requires some thinking and planning ahead. You and your husband take time to enjoy each other physically, but there is not twelve-piece orchestra playing or fireworks display. You both are fulfilled sexually and emotionally--the interaction helps you feel connected and intimate. A holiday feast happens every so often. The table is filled with rich and new foods...this type of sex is important, even if it isn't frequent. It's for that weekend getaway or anniversary celebration. You and your husband put thought, planning, and set aside large quantities of time simply to explore and enjoy each other."
"John Piper states our problem is not that we like pleasure too much, but that we settle for too little...as you consider your own temptations with sexuality, do they occur because your drive to experience pleasure is too great or because you settle for a cheap version of satisfaction? We must realize that every choice to compromise sexually is more than a moral failure...it is a choice away from ultimate joy and pleasure for which we were created."
We must not focus so much on God's attribute of love, that we forget his holiness. "Remember the rich young ruler who asked Jesus what he must do to inherit eternal life? Jesus told him the standard, to forsake his wealth and follow Him. When the young man walked away from Jesus, our Savior was grieved, but He did not change the standard of righteousness."
"Few Christians who embrace homosexuality believe that it was part of God's original perfect design...just look at the way our anatomy fits together, male and female. Consider that in the creation account in Genesis, God created Eve to 'complete' Adam and that together they represent the image of God. This means that homosexuality represents a fallen world--sin and brokenness--just as our propensity toward addiction, gluttony, pride, hatred, and selfishness does. If there is a 'gay gene,' we could argue that there is also a promiscuity gene and anger gene. To accept homosexuality as a normal expression of God's design is to say that God is okay with us living within our brokenness, instead of seeking Him through that brokenness...sometimes God delivers us from our brokenness and other times He strengthens us through it. The bottom line is this: God's power is sufficient in your weakness."
"Marriage was never supposed to be about creating a love that is brand new; instead, it asks us to discover and replicate God's love that has existed since the garden of Eden."
"We are called to be clothed with love, forgiveness, and compassion and to be open to restoration. However, wisdom dictates that we use discernment, knowing that sometimes it is best to love from a distance."
"Conflicts are intentional and fights are impulsive. A fight always begins with an impulsive reaction to how we are feeling. He said something insensitive or I did something that ticked [him] off, and away we go. When we get into a fight, it usually feels for one of us like we have to talk about it right now--not because it's urgent but because we can't control how we are feeling...almost all conflicts are more likely to be resolved if we give each other time to process, pray, and get perspective...most important issues in a marriage don't have to be resolved today...although it may feel like you need resolution, find your own peace in bringing the issue before the Lord before seeking peace with your spouse...conflict isn't motivated by getting your way or proving your point. The goal is to become like-minded and understanding each other at a deeper level. Even if you and your husband will never see an issue exactly the same, through conflict, you can gain an appreciation for each other's perspective."
"Switching from a pattern of fighting to healthy conflict means refusing to make your spouse the enemy and being patient to wait until the right time and setting to talk the issues through in a loving manner. Ask God to give you the wisdom you need to make this change in your heart and your marriage."
"Tozer taught that such heresy (believe God is different from what He actually is) begins when we emphasize one attribute of God above all the other attributes. In other words, we can be holding truths about God, but favoring certain truths to the point where we disregard the totality of God's character."
"When God stops giving us things, He brings us into the place where we can begin to understand HIm. As long as we get from God everything we ask for, we never get to know Him, we look upon Him as a blessing-machine that has nothing to do with God's character or with our characters. It is not sufficient for us to say, 'Oh yes, God is love.' We have to know He is love. We have to struggle through until we do see He is love and justice. Then our prayer is answered."
Marriage is a team effort to help each other fight temptation and stay pure. Hold each other accountable.
November 16, 2015
That title caught my attention, and if you're reading this it obviously caught your attention too. Sexuality is all around us but unfortunately it is mostly exploited. So what is right and good and healthy for you as a Christian woman whether you are married or single.
Dr. Juli Slattery dives head first into all of those questions that we have but are too afraid to ask. It is a small book but the questions are deep and the answers even deeper. I appreciated the candor with which Juli answered the questions about subjects like masturbation, temptations, and adventurous activities. I cannot honestly think where else I would be able to get such Godly counsel on these topics. There are many voices out there saying do it, do it, do it, but Juli presents the subject from a biblical perspective that brings freedom rather than shame. By the end of the book I can almost guarantee that you will see sex as the beautiful gift that God intended it to be.
I'm an introvert by nature and I have to be honest and say that there is no way that I would ever purchase this book in a bookstore or check it out at the library. Instead I'd read it in an obscure aisle with something hiding the cover! Thanks to online shopping or e-reader downloads I can obtain and read this book without worry.
I can't recommend this book highly enough for every woman. It will leave you with a sense of peace as well as longing for this beautiful gift of God.
I received a copy of this book to facilitate my review.
Dr. Juli Slattery dives head first into all of those questions that we have but are too afraid to ask. It is a small book but the questions are deep and the answers even deeper. I appreciated the candor with which Juli answered the questions about subjects like masturbation, temptations, and adventurous activities. I cannot honestly think where else I would be able to get such Godly counsel on these topics. There are many voices out there saying do it, do it, do it, but Juli presents the subject from a biblical perspective that brings freedom rather than shame. By the end of the book I can almost guarantee that you will see sex as the beautiful gift that God intended it to be.
I'm an introvert by nature and I have to be honest and say that there is no way that I would ever purchase this book in a bookstore or check it out at the library. Instead I'd read it in an obscure aisle with something hiding the cover! Thanks to online shopping or e-reader downloads I can obtain and read this book without worry.
I can't recommend this book highly enough for every woman. It will leave you with a sense of peace as well as longing for this beautiful gift of God.
I received a copy of this book to facilitate my review.
July 17, 2019
Would definitely recommend to singles
5 stars because it delves into questions I've always wondered about and questions I didn't know I needed answers to. As a single person, it sets me up for success because I am able to walk into marriage, God-willing, with the right expectations but before that, I know that God has given me my sexuality which can be expressed in my singleness in ways that honour Him. Dr Juli also provides a faithful interpretation of God's heart towards the topic of sex
5 stars because it delves into questions I've always wondered about and questions I didn't know I needed answers to. As a single person, it sets me up for success because I am able to walk into marriage, God-willing, with the right expectations but before that, I know that God has given me my sexuality which can be expressed in my singleness in ways that honour Him. Dr Juli also provides a faithful interpretation of God's heart towards the topic of sex
February 19, 2021
This very insightful. It never told you what to think but rather gave you references as a guide to aid you in making your own choice. Everything was biblically based and allowed you to do your own research, pray, and study the topic more. This book is definitely one you'll find yourself returning to over and over again throughout your life.
April 10, 2017
This book is very informative. There were several questions that I did have on my mind but could not ask someone. The author does a really awesome job at answering the questions. I would most definitely recommend this book.
June 26, 2017
[Note: This book was provided free of charge by Moody Press. All thoughts and opinions are my own.]
No joke, this is one of the most awkward books I have ever read. Perhaps unsurprisingly, given the fact that a large percentage of my closest friends since time immemorial have been female, I have long been subject to the awkward conversations with my friends when they feel it necessary to tell me why they have to rush off to the store because of their monthly periods. This book had the same kind of feel to it, not that it was impure or wrong, but rather because it was akin to reading to a forthright discussion of various feminine complaints when I was simply unable to do anything except for read sympathetically. Obviously, it goes without saying that this book is written by a woman about women for women [1], and that any men who bother to read this book will feel at least as awkward and uncomfortable about it as I did. C'est la vie. It happens often enough that I at least was able to view the book at least with some understanding of where the author was going at, even though it must be freely admitted that this book was not remotely aimed at me.
There are likely quite a few people who are afraid to ask some of the questions answered in this book. In a bit more than 200 pages the author deals rapidly with questions about sexuality, why guys may have hangups about sex and intimacy, what the proper boundaries are for relationships, and why women should give up the "mommy porn," a term I had previously been unfamiliar with. The author also deals with compassion and understanding with women who do not enjoy sex with their husbands and has a nuanced discussion of masturbation that deals thoughtfully with the tradeoffs involved. These are not the sort of subjects that tend to come up very often in polite conversation, although most of the questions the author addresses, some of them dealing with how to fight without hurting our partners, or how to overcome betrayal or forgive wisely, are questions that a widespread to the point of being nearly universal. Consistently, the author gives biblical answers to these difficult questions and presents the godly standard of behavior in these areas of life, a daunting standard to be sure.
It should be noted, in case it is not already obvious, that this book has a lot to say about men but says it indirectly to women from the point of view of women. Men are outsiders in this particular discussion, and the author is rather frank about talking about the widespread nature of addiction to pornography as well as the damage caused by affairs and the insensitivity that men can sometimes show to the anxieties and concerns of their wives. This is the sort of book that is likely both to offend those who are prim and prudish but will gain no points with those who reject biblical standards of morality. Nevertheless, if a reader approaches this booth with the attitude that the author is going to maintain biblical standards but show compassion for those who struggle with the questions, and a great deal of openness about her own struggles in the areas of intimacy and sexuality, the book has a lot to offer. And despite my own particular discomfort with the approach of this book not being aimed towards men despite frequently talking about them, the author is certainly someone whose views are worthy of respect, and whose book opens up a conversation into the intersection of our longings and the damages of our past, the acknowledgement that God created us sexual beings to bring us together, even if our own awkwardness and timidity and misfortunes make it harder than it ought to be for us to get together and stay together in loving marriages.
[1] See, for example:
https://edgeinducedcohesion.blog/2017...
https://edgeinducedcohesion.blog/2017...
https://edgeinducedcohesion.blog/2015...
https://edgeinducedcohesion.blog/2014...
https://edgeinducedcohesion.blog/2013...
https://edgeinducedcohesion.blog/2013...
https://edgeinducedcohesion.blog/2017...
https://edgeinducedcohesion.blog/2017...
No joke, this is one of the most awkward books I have ever read. Perhaps unsurprisingly, given the fact that a large percentage of my closest friends since time immemorial have been female, I have long been subject to the awkward conversations with my friends when they feel it necessary to tell me why they have to rush off to the store because of their monthly periods. This book had the same kind of feel to it, not that it was impure or wrong, but rather because it was akin to reading to a forthright discussion of various feminine complaints when I was simply unable to do anything except for read sympathetically. Obviously, it goes without saying that this book is written by a woman about women for women [1], and that any men who bother to read this book will feel at least as awkward and uncomfortable about it as I did. C'est la vie. It happens often enough that I at least was able to view the book at least with some understanding of where the author was going at, even though it must be freely admitted that this book was not remotely aimed at me.
There are likely quite a few people who are afraid to ask some of the questions answered in this book. In a bit more than 200 pages the author deals rapidly with questions about sexuality, why guys may have hangups about sex and intimacy, what the proper boundaries are for relationships, and why women should give up the "mommy porn," a term I had previously been unfamiliar with. The author also deals with compassion and understanding with women who do not enjoy sex with their husbands and has a nuanced discussion of masturbation that deals thoughtfully with the tradeoffs involved. These are not the sort of subjects that tend to come up very often in polite conversation, although most of the questions the author addresses, some of them dealing with how to fight without hurting our partners, or how to overcome betrayal or forgive wisely, are questions that a widespread to the point of being nearly universal. Consistently, the author gives biblical answers to these difficult questions and presents the godly standard of behavior in these areas of life, a daunting standard to be sure.
It should be noted, in case it is not already obvious, that this book has a lot to say about men but says it indirectly to women from the point of view of women. Men are outsiders in this particular discussion, and the author is rather frank about talking about the widespread nature of addiction to pornography as well as the damage caused by affairs and the insensitivity that men can sometimes show to the anxieties and concerns of their wives. This is the sort of book that is likely both to offend those who are prim and prudish but will gain no points with those who reject biblical standards of morality. Nevertheless, if a reader approaches this booth with the attitude that the author is going to maintain biblical standards but show compassion for those who struggle with the questions, and a great deal of openness about her own struggles in the areas of intimacy and sexuality, the book has a lot to offer. And despite my own particular discomfort with the approach of this book not being aimed towards men despite frequently talking about them, the author is certainly someone whose views are worthy of respect, and whose book opens up a conversation into the intersection of our longings and the damages of our past, the acknowledgement that God created us sexual beings to bring us together, even if our own awkwardness and timidity and misfortunes make it harder than it ought to be for us to get together and stay together in loving marriages.
[1] See, for example:
https://edgeinducedcohesion.blog/2017...
https://edgeinducedcohesion.blog/2017...
https://edgeinducedcohesion.blog/2015...
https://edgeinducedcohesion.blog/2014...
https://edgeinducedcohesion.blog/2013...
https://edgeinducedcohesion.blog/2013...
https://edgeinducedcohesion.blog/2017...
https://edgeinducedcohesion.blog/2017...
January 9, 2023
This is NOT a Review. More of interesting points and notes from the book.
Question: How do I glorify God through my sexuality
How can you express you sexuality in ways that are honoring to God and that validate your longings for intimacy? Allow your sexuality to remind you that you are created for relationship- relationship with Him and relationship with others
How can we set singles and young Christian on the right mindset about sex and marriage . Rather then the approach of "just want for marriage and your sex life will be amazing "
Ch 9- God clearly say no to certain areas, however there are some GREY areas He leaves open so that we can have the freedom to find discernment in Him. THE GREY AREA . Corinthian 6:12 "everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible but I won't be mastered by them ". Just because somethings are permissible doesn’t mean that they are helpful or beneficial for our relationship with others and our walk with God. IT was Very helpful to have a list of things that God clearly say "NO" to along with biblical reference. But also helpful to know that God gives us the freedom to explore our sexuality in the other GREY area.
Ch10- This chapter discuss the difference between TEMPTATIONS VS SINS. We can be tempted throughout the day and not fall into sin. Temptations become sin when it is act on. Temptations will always be there but Jesus reminds us that the HOLY SPIRIT lives within us and given us wisdom and courage to stand firm in Christ Jesus.
GUILT vs SHAME . Guilt is rooted in something we have done. shame is the condemnation of who we are.
Pg 96- 1 Cor6:15 Sexuality and Spirituality. Often times we think that these two truths cannot co-exist in the same space. However, on the contrary they work with one another to help us understand a deeper covenantal truth about who God is why design us this way. Although sexual choices have spiritual consequences, the merciful and redeeming God does not want us to live in The shadow of our sins. Feeling guilty or shameful does nothing to bring freedom or to earn God's favor. God responds to an honest, broken and contrite heart. So run to Him for answers in all things.
Ch 12- How do you know if he's the one ? A question that many non-married and sometimes even married people have. This chapter explains the realistic expectations of marriage . Expect work and commitment to make a marriage work. Expect that no matter who you marry the concept of love will be refined.
Ch. 15- “ the greatest weapon against an affair is not a strong marriage... it's spiritual weapon”- Pg.131. If I remain faithful throughout the duration of my marriage it won't simply be because I love my husband , but it will be because of how much I love the Lord. I learn to love and serve others as an outpour of how I love and serve God.
Ch 17- "the problem is not that we like pleasure too much, but that we settled for too little "- John Piper. Do not settle for cheap version of satisfaction. In everything, ask first if this is the best that God has for me.
Ch.18- is masturbation a sin? The Bible never explicitly say anything about masturbation
Ch 19- We will never resolve the "godly and gay" question by Looking inwardly at who we are, only by looking upward at who He is. God's love does not obliterate His holiness.
Ch.25. Modern day heresy. When we emphasize one attribute of God above all the other attributes. We can be holding to truths about God but favoring certain truths to the point where we disregard the totality of God's character. There is a significant danger in The modern trend to exclusively emphasize God's love. His love never cancel out his Holiness, His justice, his Righteousness. The Christian walk is about understanding the totality of God.
October 11, 2020
25 Questions You're Afraid to Ask About Love, Sex and Intimacy / by Dr. Juli Slattery -- Chicago : Moody Publishers, c2015. (224 pages) -- RANGE 9 -- MATURE YOUNG ADULTS
SUMMARY: Whether you are married or single, having great sex or no sex, your sexuality is inseparable from your spirituality. Sadly, most churches are silent on the subject.
REVIEW: What a blessing this read/study was. This title was selected as a supplemental title to be used for a Bible study using CAPTIVATING by John and Stasi Eldredge as the primary title. The study group was a mixture of women from college age singles and not dating, single mothers, middle age married, single and divorce as well as older married women. Whatever the age or the relationship experience, it was hard to get the participants to discuss this book (I'm hoping they all read it). It is my opinion that everyone felt embarrassed of the subject matter, felt incompetent to discuss the topic, and was unwilling to share their experiences. In the end, we did have a few good discussions but they were rushed at the end of our time.
I kept the book and read it again in more depth and shared it with my new husband as we were trying to figure things out. I wish I had been introduced to some of these topics earlier in my life as I worked my way through several relationships. I marked this for mature young adults but in this world where kids are experiencing with sex, it might be appropriate to talk some of the topics over with a younger population. However, whatever is done it would be good to discuss the topics with someone you trust.
Dr. Slattery answers the questions based on what the Bible says about each topic in an easy to understand format. She also has a website that continues to educate Christian women www.authenticintimacy.com
CONTENT:
Question 1: What's the big deal about sex?
Question 2: Who are you to judge my sexual choices?
Question 3: Can I be single and sexual?
Question 4: Is it wrong to like sex?
Question 5: And I waited for this?
Question 6: Why do guys care so much about sex?
Question 7: What if I want sex more than my husband does?
Question 8: How adventurous can we be in bed?
Question 9: Is ________ okay in the bedroom? (You fill in the blank!)
Question 10: What do my temptations say about me?
Question 11: How do I get past my shame?
Question 12: How do I know he is the one?
Question 13: How far is too far?
Question 14: Is living together a good test run for marriage?
Question 15: What if I'm attracted to someone else?
Question 16: How can I compete with porn?
Question 17: What's wrong with mommy porn?
Question 18: Is masturbation a sin?
Question 19: Can I be godly and gay?
Question 20: How do I rebuild trust after a betrayal?
Question 21: Does forgiveness mean I'll be hurt again?
Question 22: What if I don't like sex?
Question 23: How do I make time to make love?
Question 24: How do we fight without hurting each other?
Question 25: Why wouldn't God want me to be happy?
Because Christians often don't talk or teach about sex, women are confused about what to do with their sexuality. (p14)
We all have thoughts and beliefs about sex that are not based on truth. (p14)
God is loving when He says "no" to something, it is ultimately for our benefit. (p21)
...sharing biblical truth is NOT the same as judging. (p22)
Instead of admitting our sin, we rationalize it. Such hypocrisy will always water down the impact of God's truth, but it doesn't change the truth itself. (p25-26)
The rewards of a godly life may not be Prince Charming waiting in the wings or happily ever after in your marriage. Sometimes God brings those gifts, but He never promised them. (p214)
SUMMARY: Whether you are married or single, having great sex or no sex, your sexuality is inseparable from your spirituality. Sadly, most churches are silent on the subject.
REVIEW: What a blessing this read/study was. This title was selected as a supplemental title to be used for a Bible study using CAPTIVATING by John and Stasi Eldredge as the primary title. The study group was a mixture of women from college age singles and not dating, single mothers, middle age married, single and divorce as well as older married women. Whatever the age or the relationship experience, it was hard to get the participants to discuss this book (I'm hoping they all read it). It is my opinion that everyone felt embarrassed of the subject matter, felt incompetent to discuss the topic, and was unwilling to share their experiences. In the end, we did have a few good discussions but they were rushed at the end of our time.
I kept the book and read it again in more depth and shared it with my new husband as we were trying to figure things out. I wish I had been introduced to some of these topics earlier in my life as I worked my way through several relationships. I marked this for mature young adults but in this world where kids are experiencing with sex, it might be appropriate to talk some of the topics over with a younger population. However, whatever is done it would be good to discuss the topics with someone you trust.
Dr. Slattery answers the questions based on what the Bible says about each topic in an easy to understand format. She also has a website that continues to educate Christian women www.authenticintimacy.com
CONTENT:
Question 1: What's the big deal about sex?
Question 2: Who are you to judge my sexual choices?
Question 3: Can I be single and sexual?
Question 4: Is it wrong to like sex?
Question 5: And I waited for this?
Question 6: Why do guys care so much about sex?
Question 7: What if I want sex more than my husband does?
Question 8: How adventurous can we be in bed?
Question 9: Is ________ okay in the bedroom? (You fill in the blank!)
Question 10: What do my temptations say about me?
Question 11: How do I get past my shame?
Question 12: How do I know he is the one?
Question 13: How far is too far?
Question 14: Is living together a good test run for marriage?
Question 15: What if I'm attracted to someone else?
Question 16: How can I compete with porn?
Question 17: What's wrong with mommy porn?
Question 18: Is masturbation a sin?
Question 19: Can I be godly and gay?
Question 20: How do I rebuild trust after a betrayal?
Question 21: Does forgiveness mean I'll be hurt again?
Question 22: What if I don't like sex?
Question 23: How do I make time to make love?
Question 24: How do we fight without hurting each other?
Question 25: Why wouldn't God want me to be happy?
Because Christians often don't talk or teach about sex, women are confused about what to do with their sexuality. (p14)
We all have thoughts and beliefs about sex that are not based on truth. (p14)
God is loving when He says "no" to something, it is ultimately for our benefit. (p21)
...sharing biblical truth is NOT the same as judging. (p22)
Instead of admitting our sin, we rationalize it. Such hypocrisy will always water down the impact of God's truth, but it doesn't change the truth itself. (p25-26)
The rewards of a godly life may not be Prince Charming waiting in the wings or happily ever after in your marriage. Sometimes God brings those gifts, but He never promised them. (p214)
July 24, 2024
This book is okay. I agree with some of what she says, but some of what she says is just a little weird. And many times what she is saying isn't said well. My biggest issues:
She insists on using the word intimate to mean a close friendship, even though we have other words to describe a close friendship (like close!) and intimate has taken on a sexual connotation culturally.
I dislike her super spiritualizing of sexuality—our sexuality and longing is supposed to push us into relationships with others? My sexuality is supposed to lead me to friendships? That just sounds weird.
For a book about answering questions... often the questions really aren't answered. Sometimes she gives a framework to think about--sometimes said framework is overly complicated like mapping levels of intimacy (physical, emotional, spiritual) to make sure that you keep each level of intimacy even in your dating relationship. Sometimes the framework is too loosey-goosey--evaluate your heart against this reframed question instead of the question asked. (You know, our hearts are rather deceitful little things often, so a little more help would be nice!)
I wish she'd at least give some better framework using natural law and logical arguments where the Bible might be silent on a subject (a gray area of sorts). But really, for a book of questions and answers, she's slim on answers and more on "figure it out for yourself."
In places where she does give some decent advice (answering the questions or within the question framework), sometimes I completely disagree with it, like a couple having to know each other for at least a year before getting married. I mean, I guess that's a nice idea, but I broke that rule and my husband and I have been happily married for almost 23 years now. Following some timeline rule doesn't guarantee a successful marriage.
I'm pretty sure we all learned in school that when you are answering a prompt or question for an essay (and, really, this book is just 25 short essays in response to a prompt/question) you state your thesis at the beginning, make your arguments, then restate your thesis at the end. However, instead of reiterating her point(s) at the end of chapters, she backpedals or softens her conclusion. Because sometimes she actually does start out at the beginning of an answer with a pretty good running start, but then she moves to reframing and the softening and backpedaling begin undoing what was a great start.
Overall, the book feels unbalanced and uneven. It lacks depth where depth is needed and over philosophizes in less needed areas. However, I did really like her masturbation framework.
Additional context: I facilitate a small group among Christian women for support in implementing Laura Doyle's 6 Skills in The Empowered Wife. There was interest expressed to read a more "physical intimacy" focused book, which is why we read The Good Girl's Guide as part of a book club within that group. However, feeling somewhat disappointed in The Good Girl's Guide, I've now determined to read several other books in an effort to find better sex books to recommend to fellow Christians.
She insists on using the word intimate to mean a close friendship, even though we have other words to describe a close friendship (like close!) and intimate has taken on a sexual connotation culturally.
I dislike her super spiritualizing of sexuality—our sexuality and longing is supposed to push us into relationships with others? My sexuality is supposed to lead me to friendships? That just sounds weird.
For a book about answering questions... often the questions really aren't answered. Sometimes she gives a framework to think about--sometimes said framework is overly complicated like mapping levels of intimacy (physical, emotional, spiritual) to make sure that you keep each level of intimacy even in your dating relationship. Sometimes the framework is too loosey-goosey--evaluate your heart against this reframed question instead of the question asked. (You know, our hearts are rather deceitful little things often, so a little more help would be nice!)
I wish she'd at least give some better framework using natural law and logical arguments where the Bible might be silent on a subject (a gray area of sorts). But really, for a book of questions and answers, she's slim on answers and more on "figure it out for yourself."
In places where she does give some decent advice (answering the questions or within the question framework), sometimes I completely disagree with it, like a couple having to know each other for at least a year before getting married. I mean, I guess that's a nice idea, but I broke that rule and my husband and I have been happily married for almost 23 years now. Following some timeline rule doesn't guarantee a successful marriage.
I'm pretty sure we all learned in school that when you are answering a prompt or question for an essay (and, really, this book is just 25 short essays in response to a prompt/question) you state your thesis at the beginning, make your arguments, then restate your thesis at the end. However, instead of reiterating her point(s) at the end of chapters, she backpedals or softens her conclusion. Because sometimes she actually does start out at the beginning of an answer with a pretty good running start, but then she moves to reframing and the softening and backpedaling begin undoing what was a great start.
Overall, the book feels unbalanced and uneven. It lacks depth where depth is needed and over philosophizes in less needed areas. However, I did really like her masturbation framework.
Additional context: I facilitate a small group among Christian women for support in implementing Laura Doyle's 6 Skills in The Empowered Wife. There was interest expressed to read a more "physical intimacy" focused book, which is why we read The Good Girl's Guide as part of a book club within that group. However, feeling somewhat disappointed in The Good Girl's Guide, I've now determined to read several other books in an effort to find better sex books to recommend to fellow Christians.
March 30, 2020
I was given this book around my wedding and had skimmed parts of it but wanted to read it all the way through before family weddings this year to see if it could be helpful for the to-be-newlyweds. I am embarrassed at the lack of information and the harmful beliefs on sexuality I had absorbed growing up (specifically that sex as an act is degrading to women). I want those getting married to see sex in a better light than I did. I want them to know it can be so wholesome and fun and uplifting and wonderful and that it is (or should be!!) about both of you equally. I also want them to know it is a learning process but that learning process is a wonderful growing experience together.
With that said, there were some things about this book that really irked me, like any mention of a "wifely duty", though Slattery shares a more healthy perspective on that. But there were also some little gems. I liked her an analogy of sex being like opening a box of Legos - you think you are getting a cool spaceship, but really you are getting all the pieces and you get to build that cool spaceship together. I also liked some thoughts on the importance of making time for sex and how it is about the whole relationship. She also shares a great perspective on pursuing snd finding what is fun and exciting and good for a healthy sex life but also being careful of what might be dangerous. She shares a powerful Christian perspective on some hard issues, like waiting for abstinence until marriage and homosexuality, and though I am still refining and finding some of my own thoughts there (especially on the latter issue), I really appreciated her thoughts and agreed with many things she shared.
I have ultimately decided it was good enough to pass on, but plan to do so with dog-eared pages and a disclaimer that I don't 100% love the perspective of everything in the book, and they should use it and read it as it is helpful. It is a great start to discussion on a lot of topics and issues that could be helpful at any stage of sexuality.
With that said, there were some things about this book that really irked me, like any mention of a "wifely duty", though Slattery shares a more healthy perspective on that. But there were also some little gems. I liked her an analogy of sex being like opening a box of Legos - you think you are getting a cool spaceship, but really you are getting all the pieces and you get to build that cool spaceship together. I also liked some thoughts on the importance of making time for sex and how it is about the whole relationship. She also shares a great perspective on pursuing snd finding what is fun and exciting and good for a healthy sex life but also being careful of what might be dangerous. She shares a powerful Christian perspective on some hard issues, like waiting for abstinence until marriage and homosexuality, and though I am still refining and finding some of my own thoughts there (especially on the latter issue), I really appreciated her thoughts and agreed with many things she shared.
I have ultimately decided it was good enough to pass on, but plan to do so with dog-eared pages and a disclaimer that I don't 100% love the perspective of everything in the book, and they should use it and read it as it is helpful. It is a great start to discussion on a lot of topics and issues that could be helpful at any stage of sexuality.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 27, 2018
Clever, insightful and taking a stand without being offensive.
This book is written from the female perspective for women, but men can gain some valuable insights there, too.
While these days the topic of sex is included into the Christian debate, there still are lots of misunderstandings about it-because this is a very emotional and private matter, because sex is compartmentalized and not being considered as a part of the whole picture of an individual Christian life and maybe because simply not enough (or not deep enough) understanding the biblical message.
Sex, when within marriage, is beautiful and holy. But that does not mean there will be no troubles! And that does not mean that the singles are not sexual beings yearning for intimacy, too!
Dr. Slattery takes 25 questions (not required to be read in the given order) and tackles them honestly and wisely. The chapter generally takes 6-8 pages, so the answers can not cover every aspect of every given issue (my rare complaint here, as I need more elaboration for some topics), but the authoress works hard in giving the frank, if maybe unpopular, but wise insights and answers.
And I like very much that she shares the Bible-based stand on homosexuality.
While I would like to have more issues covered and some of the issues here tackled more thoroughly, I get that this book is based on another approach. And I very much appreciate the insights and (practical) wisdom here.
Recommended read for any Christian female (or even male).
This book is written from the female perspective for women, but men can gain some valuable insights there, too.
While these days the topic of sex is included into the Christian debate, there still are lots of misunderstandings about it-because this is a very emotional and private matter, because sex is compartmentalized and not being considered as a part of the whole picture of an individual Christian life and maybe because simply not enough (or not deep enough) understanding the biblical message.
Sex, when within marriage, is beautiful and holy. But that does not mean there will be no troubles! And that does not mean that the singles are not sexual beings yearning for intimacy, too!
Dr. Slattery takes 25 questions (not required to be read in the given order) and tackles them honestly and wisely. The chapter generally takes 6-8 pages, so the answers can not cover every aspect of every given issue (my rare complaint here, as I need more elaboration for some topics), but the authoress works hard in giving the frank, if maybe unpopular, but wise insights and answers.
And I like very much that she shares the Bible-based stand on homosexuality.
While I would like to have more issues covered and some of the issues here tackled more thoroughly, I get that this book is based on another approach. And I very much appreciate the insights and (practical) wisdom here.
Recommended read for any Christian female (or even male).
March 1, 2025
This is a book I did not seek out but was assigned as part of a class. I was surprised by how quick and easy it was to read but also the depth Dr. Slattery reached with only 200 some pages.
I appreciate the style of chapters written with the knowledge that many people will navigate to the chapter title that best suits their own questions.
The author works very hard to keep the focus on God but supports the biblical truth with scientific knowledge and actual experiences from women she knows.
Although it is written primarily to women, I think plenty of men learn and better understand the kinds of questions that come to a woman's mind.
I think most women could benefit from reading at least a couple of chapters of this book, and I would definitely recommend it to women of nearly all ages. (Probably not to women younger than 18 or so as to not awaken love before it's time).
I appreciate the style of chapters written with the knowledge that many people will navigate to the chapter title that best suits their own questions.
The author works very hard to keep the focus on God but supports the biblical truth with scientific knowledge and actual experiences from women she knows.
Although it is written primarily to women, I think plenty of men learn and better understand the kinds of questions that come to a woman's mind.
I think most women could benefit from reading at least a couple of chapters of this book, and I would definitely recommend it to women of nearly all ages. (Probably not to women younger than 18 or so as to not awaken love before it's time).
January 15, 2024
If you’re looking for a book that points you to Jesus and talks about the realities of marriage, sex, and sin, this is your book! I tend to be a very critical reader especially because I fixate on the little words chosen by the author that can either point us to Jesus or confuse us. I found that Dr. Slattery uses her words perfectly to make clear points in a way that is understandable and appropriate. Definitely my favorite resource on this topic!
May 26, 2018
I couldn't put this book down. There were biblical answers to any question you could possibly have about sex and tools to help you release any guilt you may be harboring from any past sexual experiences. I recommend this book for every Christian woman because I think we aren't taught enough that sex should be a pleasurable experience for you too
January 7, 2020
Moody Publishers provided a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Pros and cons both being the same thing. This book is extremely straight forward. It does not hesitate approaching sensitive topics which was refreshing to see a Christian book talking about masturbation, sex toys, and reiterating that there should be no shame or guilt connected to sex. It is a gift you are meant to enjoy. Con though is how blunt it is quoting scripture and condemning sex before marriage and homosexuality as sins. Those are even more sensitive subjects than some of the sex questions answered and the results of those will rub people the wrong way. I do appreciate that she holds strong in her faith and views, but I also know that sharing those few points is going to mute and void her other great topics for those getting defensive of themselves or loved ones.
Pros and cons both being the same thing. This book is extremely straight forward. It does not hesitate approaching sensitive topics which was refreshing to see a Christian book talking about masturbation, sex toys, and reiterating that there should be no shame or guilt connected to sex. It is a gift you are meant to enjoy. Con though is how blunt it is quoting scripture and condemning sex before marriage and homosexuality as sins. Those are even more sensitive subjects than some of the sex questions answered and the results of those will rub people the wrong way. I do appreciate that she holds strong in her faith and views, but I also know that sharing those few points is going to mute and void her other great topics for those getting defensive of themselves or loved ones.
August 25, 2020
Okay, this seems like it would be a painful book to get through just because of the touchy content. However, even though I didn't agree with every single detail of this book, I felt that the arguments were very well written and supported. There was a wide range of topics and they circled back well into Biblical excerpts.
April 26, 2023
I've never had this kind of explanation when it came to sex and intimacy. When we hear the word sex it's hush hush because the world makes twists the true meaning.
Or when women feel ashamed talking to other women and asking questions regarding our sexuality.
I also enjoyed that she was able to bring in scripture to back up on "why" certain things should be considered good or bad etc.
Or when women feel ashamed talking to other women and asking questions regarding our sexuality.
I also enjoyed that she was able to bring in scripture to back up on "why" certain things should be considered good or bad etc.
December 27, 2025
Such a good book that covers really difficult topics that the church has often failed to robustly address. Slattery does a wonderful job of nuancing each question with truth and grace, bringing Scripture into our sex lives.
The book is directed towards women specifically, which I didn't realize before I started reading it, but it's still a fantastic read!
The book is directed towards women specifically, which I didn't realize before I started reading it, but it's still a fantastic read!
August 9, 2018
A great book on love, sex and intimacy. She's straight forward. The book is short, so more complicated questions/answers can't be developed, but she does encourage those who need help in this area to get it.
February 21, 2022
An effort was made to be a bit better than all the terrible purity culture fueled, sex negative Christian resources. Sadly, not much came from the effort. It is still very black and white and tends toward patriarchy and almost comes off as prudish. Skimmed the second half.
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