The Question of David: A Disabled Mother's Journey Through Adoption, Family, and Life

by Denise Sherer Jacobson

A touching, unique and beautiful account of a couple, both with cerebral palsy, who adopt a baby boy and raise him on their own.

Genres: Disability, Memoir, Nonfiction

236 pages, Paperback

First published October 15, 1998

About the author

Author and educator Denise Sherer Jacobson, M.A., is passionate about “Weaving the Disability Experience into the Tapestry of Living.” She has worked as an activist, counselor, administrator, and oral historian in the Independent Living Movement for over 50 years, all the while keeping her sense of humor.

Sherer Jacobson penned the multi-layered memoir, THE QUESTION OF DAVID: A Disabled Mother’s Journey Through Adoption, Family, and Life, as well as a plethora of disability and Jewish-themed blogs, articles, stories, and poetry published on websites and in newspapers, magazines, and anthologies.

Sherer Jacobson is a featured personality and the story consultant for the acclaimed 2020 Netflix documentary CRIP CAMP: A Disability Revolution, produced by Barack and Michelle Obama’s company, Higher Ground.

In 2020, Sherer Jacobson was the Landauer Lecturer at Columbia University Irving Medical Center co-speaker and published the guest blog ‘Time to Speak’ on their Weinberg Family Cerebral Palsy Center website.

She continues to given presentations on disability-related issues both nationally and worldwide.

Reviews

[Marian · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not so much about adoption or parenthood (as evidenced by the child not becoming part of the story until almost halfway through the book), this is a memoir about the author's difficult childhood, and her efforts as an adult to stop repeating the same patterns she developed early in her life, e.g., passivity, defensiveness, emotional impulsiveness.

The final chapters manage to nicely paint a picture of what life was like for her as a parent with a disability, raising a child who has been diagnosed with a disability, too. However, the unfocused, and surprisingly repetitive nature of much of the rest of the narrative, combined with the authorial insistence that, yes, this is truly a story about adoption and parenthood, made for a frustrating, disappointing read.

[Barbara Linn · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book written by a good friend of mine, is excellent in explaining disability.

[Cathy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this book so much, I’m so glad I was able to track it down. I became aware of Sheree Jacobson and her husband, Neil Jacobson, through the wonderful movie Crip Camp and a bit through reading about Judy Heumann.

What an appreciate most about the book, other than the love that centers everything, is how honest and unsparing the author was. She didn’t hide from her insecurities and perceived weaknesses. It helped the story feel so authentic and deeply personal.

And I learned so much. There is so much that people with significant physical disabilities deal with that fully mobile people never even think about. Add to that raising an infant and then toddler in a world that has few accommodations for people with disabilities. It was informative, frustrating, uplifting, infuriating, and joyful.

It’s a terrific memoir. I was so sad when it ended, I wish there were sequels. I miss them, always a good sign that a connection was made. I wonder how David is now, what he’s doing, and hope he’s thriving.

[Diane Levinson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I marveled at this book by Denise Sherer Jacobson. After hearing her, and her husband, speak at our synagogue, I knew I had to read her book. This was a book that I didn’t want to have end and I hope that Denise will consider writing a sequel. Her words are so well chosen and she has a way of injecting humor that had me chuckling out loud. As a non-physically challenged woman I found myself relating to Denise and her emotions with familiarity. Yes, her physical challenges are enormous and how she deals with them are at times heroic, but she analyzes her motivations and angst in a way that everyone can identify with through their own life experiences.
I highly recommend this book to everyone and especially to anyone considering adoption. The book is uplifting and inspiring. Thank you Denise for sharing the experience of becoming a family with the addition of your beautiful son.
Diane J. Levinson
San Carlos, CA

[Melissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 Stars
A lot of memoirs I've read are about one person. I like them! Here, we get a memoir about a family. That's awesome. We get to know and connect with Denise Sherer on growing up, relationships, and raising children. We also more deeply understand the lives of those with physical disabilities. It has a very personal nature, which left me wanting to read more about her family. I want a sequel!

[Cj · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good memoir of a mom's trials with her new son. The personal stories of her childhood bring great perspective to the story

[Dona · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was recommended to me by the cousin of the author's husband. I was a little skeptical -- thinking it might be not well written -- but I found the book to be very frank, highly readable and very well written.

Denise honestly tells the story of adopting David -- from not being sure of wanting to adopt a child to fiercely wanting him even though she and her husband were in wheelchairs to his first few years.

I've been lucky to have met the entire family on several occasions. David has grown into a handsome and charming young man and Denise and Neil are wonderful people.

[Taylor Brown · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just really wish that this book had a follow up so many years later. I was interested as someone with fertility issues and several disabilities, some more obvious than others. It was a great story on what it's like to bring a child into your life, struggle with preconcieved notions of what you, the child, a partner, and your family as a whole can do. It hurt my heart to see how many people treated people with CP as childlike and incapible of being a grown up with a child.

[Jess Lambert-Berry · Rating 5 out of 5]

My new favorite book!

This book is so well-written and relatable. Denise Sherer Jacobson is so open and honest about her experiences navigating adoption and motherhood while facing the prejudice and biases of people who see her and her husband, Neil, as "disabilities" instead of the intelligent and loving human beings that they are. This should be required reading for everyone. I cannot recommend it highly enough!

[Jessica Mckenzie · Rating 5 out of 5]

My husband and i are disabled. He has Cerebral Palsy and I have Optic Nerve Hypoplasia. I found this book on the nls bard website. I recommend this book for those who don't understnd those who have disabilities who want to adopt.i want to meet the author by phoneor in person someday

[Jessica Hunt · Rating 4 out of 5]

An honest look at parenting with a disability in the late 20th century

this book was funny,thought provoking and gave me an idea of some of the best and worst moments I should look forward to when considering having children. A good read for any parent, I'd say.

[Kristen K Anderson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic read, excellent portrayal of ability in the midst of "disability"

This book will breakdown barriers and confront prejudice and bias; full of love, honesty and humor. Very informative and heartwarming!

[Farah Mendlesohn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Parenting as activism/ activist parenting.

I read this because the author is in the documentary Crip Camp. She comes over as so sassy and out there that I was immediately drawn to her.