The Washingtons: George and Martha, "Join'd by Friendship, Crown'd by Love"

by Flora Fraser

Here are the socially awkward young soldier and the charming and very rich young widow he wooed and won; the early years of their marriage at Mount Vernon; his inflexible determination and iron will throughout the long war; she, joining him every year in Valley Forge and the army's other winter quarters, essential to his personal well-being but also a commanding and admired figure in her own right; and, finally, the eight years of America's first presidency: he, the reluctant president, and she, the faultless first lady, both longing to return to their beloved Mount Vernon. Here, too, are the domestic Washingtons—Martha presiding over dinners for foreign dignitaries, keeping careful control of her children and her inheritance; George, even while commanding the revolutionary army, always concerned about her welfare and safety, worrying about his stepchildren, and when the rare occasion arose, dancing the night away with any pretty woman he could find. A major, and vastly appealing, contribution to the literature of our founding fathers... and founding mother.

Genres: History, Biography, American History, Nonfiction, Presidents, American Revolution, American Revolutionary War

448 pages, Hardcover

First published November 3, 2015

About the author

Flora Fraser Soros (born 30 October 1958) is an English writer of historical biographies.

She is the daughter of historian and historical biographer Lady Antonia Fraser and the late Sir Hugh Fraser, a British Conservative politician. Her stepfather was the playwright Harold Pinter, the 2005 Nobel Laureate in Literature, her mother's second husband until his death in 2008. Her maternal grandparents were the late Elizabeth Longford, also an eminent biographer, and the late Lord Longford, a well-known politician, social reformer, and author.

She was named after Scottish Jacobite Flora MacDonald. Using her maiden name Flora Fraser, she has written biographies of Emma Hamilton, Caroline of Brunswick, the daughters of George III, and Pauline Bonaparte.

Reviews

[Jaylia3 · Rating 4 out of 5]

While this doesn’t flow with the feeling of a novel, source material is too scant for that, Flora Fraser has still managed to put together a fascinating, often moving, portrait of America’s first First Family, and through them a history of the Revolutionary War and the early years of the United States, including the issue of slavery since the Washingtons had enslaved people in their service. Unfortunately, very little correspondence between George and Martha Washington survives, Martha burned all that was in her possession when George died, but Fraser fleshes out their life and relationship using what there is, including diary entries, letters written to and from other people, and precise requests for clothing, cloth and other goods that the couple made to merchants.

The book’s meticulous details are the basis of its strength, and Fraser includes all her sources in the Notes section. I was especially interested in the opening chapters featuring George Washington as a pragmatic young man and the early days of his courtship of and then marriage to Martha. I knew least about those times, and I enjoyed encountering Martha as attractive, wealthy young widow, managing her first husband’s estates and raising their children on her own. This interlude of independence served her well when George left their home in Mount Vernon to lead the Continental Army.

In spite, or maybe because, of the many difficulties in their lives, including the premature death of all of Martha’s children, the relationship between the Washingtons was charmingly close, and George’s military colleagues were glad when Martha joined him at army encampments because his mood always improved when she was around. The book goes on to cover the politically tumultuous years after the Revolution, George’s two presidential terms, and the brief time the Washingtons were able to enjoy retirement from public life. The last chapter concludes with Martha’s death in 1802, three years after George passed away.

[Simon · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fraser tries, and while the writing never rises above serviceable, it is hard to imagine a better, more thorough treatment of their marriage. Martha burned their voluminous correspondence, drat it, and so Fraser has to do an analysis of the relationship that relies upon intelligent extrapolation of outsiders' observations. She is more than equal to the task, but the problem then becomes the fact that Martha isn't very interesting. She was a model for future First Ladies until Eleanor Roosevelt broke the mold. Martha was publicly circumspect, unfailingly courteous to everyone and never said anything that people remembered. It's hard to get a great biography out of those limitations, but Fraser has produced a good read. If nothing else, her account of the suffering Martha endured through the loss of both children from her first marriage is quite moving, and a salutary reminder if the primitive medical conditions that ruled two hundred years ago.

[Bob Schnell · Rating 3 out of 5]

"The Washingtons" uses historical documents to tell the story of George and Martha and the birth of the nation. Because few letters between the two still exist, much is told from the point of view of their friends and family. Theirs was a special relationship, surviving wars and the first Presidency with undying love and devotion for each other. Author Flora Fraser does a good job putting their marriage in the context of world-changing events. Though by the end of the book I felt I had learned more about American history than I did about the Washingtons.

[Jeanette · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think my reading of this book suffered from the fact that it was the third book in a row that I read about Washington and things were getting a bit repetitive. Even that consideration aside though, this book was a bit "dry" and at times heavy on details without much of a narrative to pull them together.

[Bill · Rating 1 out of 5]

About George Washington, our first President and husband to Martha, our first First Lady, were that title to have been in use during her time, I have read much. So I had, when acquiring this book, published in 2015 by Flora Fraser, the British author of previous historical biographies, primarily on European royalty, high hopes. A mouthful, perhaps, the title, with subtitle and sub-subtitle, "The Washingtons: George and Martha: ‘Join’d by Friendship, Crown’d by Love,’" may be. But indicative it is, of the style of the writing therein. So frustrated and disappointed was I, in reading this prose, while learning little new or compelling about the subjects of the story Ms. Fraser relates. 

A fan you must be, of awkward dependent clauses, of which there are many, and stilted inverted sentences, more than a few of which also appear, in order to appreciate this book. A distraction as well, are the split infinitives and incomplete sentences upon which you may frequently come. 

Since, apparently, a scholarly writing this is not meant to be, the overly-formal and rather antiquated literary style is, you might say, a curious choice. Humanizing the Washingtons, so often thought of as immovable and unemotional, as in the marble statues and painted portraits in which they are depicted, is, one would think, the goal of a book that aims to tell the story of their relationship and marriage. Humanizing it is, though, only if you are acquainted with humans who speak and write like this. 

Setting aside, however, if you find yourself able to, the style of writing, the substance of this book is, in large measure, lacking as well. Not Ms. Fraser's fault, is some of this. Martha Washington, upon her husband's death, regrettably, to the detriment of history and to readers of biographies such as the one about which I write, set aflame her correspondence with her late spouse. So upon surviving documents must Ms. Fraser rely, such as detailed bills of goods for items including "18 yards of the best pink tabby" and "gothick Chairs, wt. Pincushion Seats, stufft in the best manner & covered with horse hair." Quite detailed it is, though unclear is it as well, whether an abundance of such details offers much insight.

To General Washington's side Martha frequently traveled during the War for Independence, so the strength, if there can be said to be one, of this book is in keeping Martha's story in the forefront when, in many other books, she fades into the background as into the spotlight George moves. At the expense of her husband's story, however, this comes, as Martha's every visit to his wartime encampments is described, as are banal details of life back at Mount Vernon, the home, in Virginia, on the Potomac, where the Washingtons resided. This leaves, in contrast, major events in the actual war to take place largely in the background. Washington's famed crossing, in December 1776, of the Delaware, the river separating Pennsylvania and New Jersey, for example, merits, in this book, a single uninspired paragraph, while so casually is the British surrender at Yorktown, the peninsular Virginia locale, thus ending the war, described, for nearly missing it altogether you would be forgiven. And, dispatched in three brief chapters, is the entirety of the ensuing Washington presidency. All the while, matters of more mundane insignificance, involving Martha, her relatives and her residence, are given prominence of outsized measure.

A portrait of everyday life this is, of two individuals who did not, in actuality, lead everyday lives. So a window into their familial relations and marital relationship through to peer we are invited. But what is missing looms large, while what is included underwhelms. And as convoluted it may appear, and painful it may feel to read this review, imagine, if you will, reading an entire book in the style herein simulated. 

Too short is life, for time to be spent in the reading of bad books. So a favor to yourself you may consider doing, by heeding the advisement for this one to skip.

[Marti · Rating 4 out of 5]

Although it starts a little dry, I feel like I did learn a lot about the Washingtons. The focus was more on the domestic side of things which was fine by me as I do find it tedious to read the details of battle after battle after battle. Familiarity with Morristown, Philadelphia, Lower Manhattan and other locales mentioned (including a recent visit to Richmond, VA) added to my understanding of the material. Considering that Martha destroyed all of the correspondence between her and George, the author was able to piece together a plausible picture of life at Mount Vernon based on letters to others in their circle (and also from household items ordered from various merchants which is why almost every spool of ribbon Martha ordered is documented).

And of course, if you just watched the film 1776, as I did, you cannot help but hear the actor's voice that reads George's letters to Congress in your head (along with the drumroll), followed by "That man would depress a hyena!"

[Linda · Rating 4 out of 5]

After reading this very engaging book it is hard not to wish that Martha Washington had not felt it necessary to burn all of the letters that she and her husband exchanged over their lifetime. Since she did, Flora Fraser and other biographers have been deprived of the best sources to describe their relationship. Nonetheless this new biography of this marriage uses contemporary sources to describe what seems a long, happy partnership. As the author writes at the beginning, it would be hard to imagine that George would have been as successful without his marriage to the rich widow Custis. Of course the money that she brought to the definitely not rich Washington was important but their personalities seemed to mesh as well. Marrying at 27 & 28, both George and Martha were old enough to know what they wanted in life and Martha was an experienced manager of a rich lifestyle which George aspired to. When they had been married over 20 years and Washington was called to lead the Continental Army Martha rose to the challenge of assisting George as she had done so well all of their married life. George Washington has been called the indispensable man but you wonder if he could have done all that he did without his indispensable wife.

[Patrick Macke · Rating 3 out of 5]

though not without enjoyable moments, the book is a labor ... the author writes about 1776, but unfortunately, her writing style also often feels like something of that era, as she uses antiquated forms and phrasing that bog down the book ... the book does nothing but enhance one's admiration for George and Martha, but the premise that a couple love each other and remain committed to marriage through times of uncertainty and separation is, in this case, an inadequate hook for compelling history

[Shawn Thrasher]

I don't usually review books that I don't finish, but I just could not stomach this book any longer. I know I've read and enjoyed and learned from some other books by Flora Fraser. But this one left me flat. I read well over half of the book, so I think I can at least note for future reference that I tried it and gave up.

[George · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was a bit of a slog due to the mainly British style of formal prose, so for that I've taken away one star. Other than that, I liked the linear chronology and chapter lengths. I also liked that asterisks and footnotes were rare, making the text flow much better than other history books I've read. The somewhat complex family trees of the family also took away some enjoyment for me, but that might be too specific to me and not an issue for others. I had trouble keeping up, particularly given the fact that many names are duplicated across generations.
Washington is one of my biggest heroes, and I learned a lot from reading this book. It provided more detail and was often more vivid than other books I've read. I feel this book gave me a better understanding of how the revolution was fought as well as a better feel for the pace and varying intensity of the conflict.
My previous awareness that Martha burned most all correspondence between her and George made me wonder how such a book could be written, but the author did a good job by using correspondence that existed between George and Martha separately with other correspondents. There can be no doubt that their union was a very happy one, though George's reluctant willingness to always answer his country's call must have made it a trying life for them both. The sacrifices of the couple during their marriage were more than significant, and their time in unfettered retirement was sadly way too brief.
This book left me with an increased love for the Father of Our Country, and a new-found respect for his wife and partner Martha without whom he may not have persevered to the same extent, and without whom we may not have had a United States of America.

[Valerie · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was not what I was expecting though it was fairly enjoyable. The focus was primarily on the domestic life between George and Martha which you usually don't get from other biographies of them. The writing was not spectacular which probably made it a less enjoyable than other biographies that I have read. The world then was a hard one and it was heartbreaking to see the Washington's (especially Martha) experience so many tragedies.

Still, there are better biographies out there. Joseph Ellis has written some good stuff on Washington and the other Founding Fathers. I also enjoyed Ron Chernow's Washington.

[Puddles Meo · Rating 2 out of 5]

Disappointed!!! It is all I can say about this book!!! It was lacking on so many levels and did not give me the insight I thought I was going to find. I know enough about the history of George and Martha that he requested she burn their personal letters upon his death. Like the dutiful wife she did--damn the historical record. George and Martha were products of their time and culture. They both were social climbers in Virginia society. Achieving wealth through farming and slave was the way to do it...... (more to come)

[Gerri Bauer · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is thorough, well-written and the research appears solid. The reason it gets 4 stars instead of 5 has nothing to do with the author, the book or the writing. It's the lack of historical documents that would provide a stronger picture of the Washingtons as people. I still feel as though they are remote, Martha somewhat more than George. But I did learn more about them both and it was interesting.

[Susan Stonesifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellent and very readable biography of George and Martha.

[Mary · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was somewhat tedious to read but overall it was a very good biography of George and Martha Washington . He was quite a man and she was totally devoted to her husband her life ended when he died.

[The History Mom]

A thorough, detailed account of George and Martha's Washington's life together. Perfect for those who want to learn all they can about their extraordinary life.

[Jim Swike · Rating 5 out of 5]

Did not read far enough, to give a proper review. Enjoy!

[Jaime · Rating 4 out of 5]

A welcome addition to my store of Washington knowledge. I appreciated learning all kinds of new little tidbits about Washington’s civilian and married life, filling in all those little blank spaces.

[Debbie Jacob · Rating 4 out of 5]

Although this book features George Washington more than Martha, the author does an admirable job of weaving together the story of the marriage, making readers realize that there was a love story to rival that of John and Abigail Adams. Readers will realize how much both of the Washingtons -- like both the Adams -- sacrificed for the revolution.

[Caroline · Rating 4 out of 5]

George Washington is such an august figure in American history, remote, aloof and elevated, that it's often hard to get any kind of real sense of him as an actual human being. Unlike other Founding Fathers, with their whims and foibles and scandals and quirks, Washington is hard to reach, as indeed he was in life. So one would think that approaching such a man through the most intimate of ties, that of his wife, would be the best approach to coming close to understanding him as man not myth.

However that lack of approachability is not just a matter of personality but also of historical record. After his death, his wife Martha burned all of their correspondence - so we lack the intimate personal details that so enrichen and delight any study of John and Abigail Adams, for example. Writing the story of the marriage of Martha and George Washington is a matter of teasing out details, reading between the lines, relying on the words of outsiders. And to her credit Flora Fraser has done a masterful job here, dealing with one of the most challenging of biographies in American history, balancing Washington's military and political history with his private, domestic life.

And yet, through no fault of Fraser's, this book, whilst enjoyable, well-written and researched, left me disappointed. There is just not enough surviving evidence to really get a feel for this couple, how they related to one another, how they felt, their passions and arguments, their intimate moments, the times of tenderness and frustration. Martha destroyed all of that evidence - and one can even understand why. So much of her life with Washington was shaped by the needs of the country, her life never her own, every moment with her husband tempered by the buffeting of outside forces, always a public figure. One can understand why she would have wanted to keep what little privacy she had with Washington to herself, even to the detriment of posterity. He may have been 'first in the hearts of his countrymen' but he was hers first, and she acted to preserve that. We are all the poorer for that decision, but one cannot condemn her for it.

[Jane · Rating 4 out of 5]

what it says on the tin.

[Judith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not for the first time have I thought how fortunate we were to have a man like George Washington to lead our armies and be our first president. This book shows that we were equally as fortunate in having Martha as his wife and our first lady. She supported him with letters and every winter during the Revolution with her presence; she likewise assisted him with making a "home" so to speak for him and his staff, being collegial with their ladies and supporting these ladies worried about their fathers, husbands, sons; "petticoat" diplomacy contributed vitally to the war effort.

Most of all this book demonstrates the sub-title "Join'd by Friendship, Crown'd by Love." A happy marriage, with husband and wife mutually supporting one another in times of stress and mourning (and the Washington's had much of both), childless but finding it possible to love two sets of orphaned children*), and able to endure being apart with no instant Facebook contact etc.--all that says much about their strength of character and love for each other.

Both had a deep sense of personal honor, a concept that the modern western world has forgotten (seemingly so for the most part though I know of many who do have it). Would that our politicians today had it! (I cannot call them statesmen.) Dignified, kind, generous, sympathetic and empathetic, willing to forgive when receiving an apology--admiral, admiral people.

Read this to gain a better sense of the ideals and values that animated many of that time.

*The second pair were not strictly orphans (their mother lived), but were given to the Washington's to raise (while the mother raised 13 children by her second husband.)

[Joanna · Rating 3 out of 5]

I've been on a Founding Fathers binge, and after reading Walter Isaacson's Ben Franklin and Sarah Vowell's Lafayette in the Somewhat United States, I had high expectations that unfortunately were not met. Perhaps it's because Martha burned most of their letters and so they do not have as many primary sources, but the prose was dry and the inclusion of many details of Revolutionary War battles was not what interested me. I thought I was getting a portrait of their marriage, and had a symposium on what they had purchased and how they educated their children and grandchildren instead.

[Kathie · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's been a long time since I studied Revolutionary War history and my views on political issues have changed over time as well. By and large "The Washingtons" is a enjoyable read with plenty of (for me) new information about the events leading up to the War for Independence and the actual struggle itself. Some parallels between then and now seem evident to me. And the opportunity to learn more about the woman behind the storied man is welcome and refreshing. It seems clear to me from this telling that the colonists didn't so much win the war as the British let them. And without the French things might have been quite different.

[Deb · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a well-researched book about the relationship between George and Martha Washington. The author relies on a lot of primary source material - letters between George and Martha, and letters about them from family, friends, and colleagues. I didn't gain any new insights or have any revelations, and in fact, it felt a lot like reading a textbook. I stuck with it, hoping to find some clues to solving a family mystery. Supposedly my mother's family is connected to the Parke-Custis family, and we were told that "You're related to Martha Washington's children." So far my research hasn't turned up any links. That's the main reason I read the book.

[Dc · Rating 3 out of 5]

Focused more on the personal lives of George and Martha than it is on the details of the historical events. Snippets of text from actual correspondence, mostly personal, are assembled to tell the story. Interesting to see the actual wording used in that era, including misspellings (no spell checking and probably few dictionaries) and grammatical errors. Given this assembly, it's confusing at times to follow what is being said, and by who to whom.

[~mad · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a good book. bout Martha AND George AND their marriage. As much as could be gained from documents, other than George and Martha's personal correspondence with each other over 40 years of marriage and George's career. Martha burned all of these after George's death.

Once or twice I wishd to put this book away. But I "don't know much about history" so I persevere and am glad I did.

Read if you wish, I recommend. I am on a history-kick!

[Bonita Brin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Martha & George Washington's Life

This is the story of a married couple. It was also the first time I read a detailed account of Martha's life and family background. I recommend it to all who are interested in American history and the lives of the "Founding Mothers" who gave as much as their husbands to our identity as a nation.

[Susan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very interesting history of the marriage of George and Martha Washington. So unfortunate that Martha burned all their correspondence after George's death, although understandable.

[Maura Heaphy Dutton · Rating 5 out of 5]

Interesting and enlightening. Brings the myths of the "Father of our country" and his lady down to a human, relatable level (and I mean that as high praise).