Almost Night: A Parody

by Jacob Wallace

“Can you imagine if I just let you guys fight while leading both of you guys on?” Stella asked. “Leading us both on while watching us fight?” Bocaj asked. “Man, what kind of bitch would do that?” Stella Mallard is content to live out her boring life on Imperial Colony Gamma 3. However, her mother wants to open a brothel, so the seventeen year old minor must move to live with her father in Spoon City of Imperial Colony Tau 4. There is Nothing interesting about her, certainly not enough to inspire boners in an undead monster, a nature loving beast, and a horny Vampire Hunter. Or she wouldn't be interesting if it were not for the magic potion her mother gave her before she left. Now all the boys want her and the girls hate her. OK, some of the girls want her too. There she meets up with Bocaj, an old childhood friend who has become a bad boy. Nothing sexier in Stella's eyes than a bad boy who doesn't follow the rules. She also meets a luscious female satyr Vampire Hunter that saves her life twice. Sexiest of all is the beautiful but bizarre Ed Skullin. When she witnesses the beautiful Ed Skullin biting rats, blocking a van with his bare hand, and skipping school on the one day with no overcast, Stella suspects something is up. Will she lose the love of Bocaj? That may be the least of her problems, though it will remain her highest priority, when she finds vampires turning themselves into crystal-skinned abominations, and herself in the middle of the apocalypse. Part one of a planned trilogy.

103 pages, Kindle Edition

First published March 22, 2015

Reviews

[Ann Andrews · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

I am a fan of parodies in general - I mean, my husband and I both knew it was true love when we saw each other's collection of Weird Al CDs.

But I am more particular when it comes to comedies. And while I fully appreciated what Wallace was wanting to accomplish with this book (and there were multiple occasions where I did laugh, chuckle, or even smile awkwardly) this book had just a little too much R-rating in it for me to fully enjoy it.

That being said, I think there are plenty of people who would enjoy this book - especially if you enjoy closer to Rated R humor.

Writing was well done, plot was bizarre and enjoyable, I just wanted the humor to be toned down just a little -- but that's just my personal preference.

[Shiloh Wall · Rating 4 out of 5]

In the vein of 'Night Light' by the Harvard Lampoon, comes 'Almost Night: A Twilight Parody'. I typically don't read parodies or fan fiction, but something about this book drew me to it.

The humour is sharp, witty and the story is full of twists and turns. It's a new twist on an old favorite. As a previous reviewer mentioned, it is closely R-rated, but that works for this story. If you're looking for 'Fifty Shades' drivel, you won't find that here, so I would definitely recommend picking this book up for a quick journey into what REAL fan fic should be like.

[Ivana · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was very different than i expected and not in bad way.
I know Twilight fans wont like it but i really enjoyed in book.
It is a parody and it should be read as one.