What Smart Women Know

by Steven Carter, Julia Sokol

What Smart Women Know is a straightforward and honest guide from women who have learned the hard way how to be smart about men.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Feminism, Womens, Personal Development, Relationships, Education

208 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1990

About the author

Steven A. Carter is an American author of non-fiction, self-help and humor.

A distinguished graduate of Cornell University, member of the Quill and Dagger society, and winner of the William K. Kennedy Dean's Prize for extraordinary academic achievement, Steven A. Carter also holds a Master's Degree in Education and a Master's Degree in Psychology.

Steven Carter was born in New York City and raised in New Hyde Park, New York. He is the author of twenty-seven books, including the New York Times bestseller "Men Who Can't Love" (with co-author Julia Sokol), "What Smart Women Know", and seven other National Bestsellers. Carter coined the phrase "Commitmentphobia" in 1987. He and Sokol are recognized as two of the foremost authorities on the subjects of commitment, fear of commitment, attachment disorders, and narcissistic personality disorder.

In the winter of 2007 "What Smart Women Know" was released in Brazil by Editora Sextante, the publishing company founded by brothers Marcos and Tomas Pereira. "What Smart Women Know" spent 110 weeks on Brazil's top-ten bestseller lists, at one point being the #2 selling book in all of Brazil. "Men Like Women Who Like Themselves" was released in mid-2008 and spent 45 weeks on Brazil's bestseller lists. The Brazilian edition of Men Who Can't Love" was released by Editora Sextante in late 2009, followed by "The Secrets of Self-Esteem" in May 2010 and "This Is How Love Works" in September 2011.

Editora Sextante has sold over two million copies of these Carter/Sokol titles in Brazil since the first release. Editora Sextante is most well known in Brazil for their books by the Dalai Lama, Augusto Cury, and, most recently, Paulo Coehlo.

Prior to beginning his career as an author, Steven Carter was the Director of Tennis at the world-renowned Little Dix Bay Hotel in the British Virgin Islands and Head Tennis Pro at the Dorado Beach Resort in Dorado Beach, Puerto Rico. It has been suggested that some of his Carter's early insights into relationships were formulated during those years. He has also written extensively about the stages of healing he experienced through almost twenty years of his own deeply personal work.

Reviews

[Sheri · Rating 5 out of 5]

No-nonsense advice and insight on relationships for the discerning woman. The writing style is straightforward and blunt, which may be a turn-off to some, but is actually really effective at reinforcing the wisdom and experience being shared. These are the lessons you wish you had learned earlier, and that you want your daughters and all young women to learn not through experience but through this sharing of knowledge.

A quote from the book jacket really sums it up: “Wisdom without pain, understanding without heartache, insight without melodrama – that’s what this book is all about.”

[DJ · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book should be required reading for every woman over 16. It's a quick read but it's jam packed with knowledge.

[Tia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent, excellent read. Upon completing this book I instantly lent it out with the intent of making it a must-read for every woman in my circle. To this day, it still hasn't made it's way back to my bookshelf. And that's ok! It's the type of book that's too good to sit on a shelf when it could be out there helping someone. :)

While reading it, I felt as if an older, wiser, sister were handing down real and practical wisdom that every woman needs to be reminded of from time to time. And what I really loved was that the authors didn't make it into a "this is how you trap him" or "this is how you play the game" type of book. It's the the type of book that encourages introspection and makes you think about how your own actions and motivations sometimes lead you down the wrong path in love.

[Daniel · Rating 4 out of 5]

A forgotten derelict, hidden for many years at the back of a shelf, and rediscovered by accident.

It was left behind, but after having done the work. It motivated its former owner to successfully leave a bad relationship. How many other books, be it trashy best-sellers or true classics, can pride themselves on having helped as much?

I'm looking at the title page, which has an anonymous handwritten message: "When are you going to read it?" Probably from the person who gifted the book. A concerned friend, perhaps. Or perhaps the then owner writing to herself. Perhaps she feared than reading the book would upset too many things in her life, and yet, she felt that she had to do it because the quotidian unhappiness was weighing more and more.

Going through the pages, the advice does indeed seem solid. Well, except for this oddity:

If he looks as though he spends more time shopping than you do, he will probably also expect more closet space.

What is this supposed to mean?

The book at archive.org.

Not very appreciative review: "a battery of catchy, puerile aphorisms"

[Nada | ندى · Rating 4 out of 5]

smart and simple

[Bárbara · Rating 3 out of 5]

Coisas que toda mulher inteligente deve saber, se é inteligente ela já sabe, mas se está lendo este livro é pq falta colocar em prática. Em resumo, é sempre bom escutar mais uma vez todas as verdades sobre homens e relacionamentos se não estamos conseguindo acertar!

[Paige Weh · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quick & easy read. I'm not a lover of "hard and fast rules" but its a solid framework every female (or any male who has a desire to understand the female psyche) can learn and benefit from.
If you never had the luxury of a healthy female role model--so, so very valuable.

[Stephanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Simple to read used plain english throughout and stuck to the point. Very comical in some parts I believe that most women should be able to relate some of the dating issues mentioned within this book.

[Jessica]

I found it amusing that a man would right a book about what women "know". There were some good aspects of this book, but for the most part, I felt the author was clearly deluded.

[Rayssa Sullivan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fala de uma maneira muito clara a respeito de relacionamentos e é impossível não nos avaliar. Recomendo :)

[Noor Abu Hassan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Amazingly good, highly recommended.

[Mariana Bratti · Rating 5 out of 5]

Onze mandamentos para uma mulher inteligente:
• Manter todas as expectativas fundamentadas na realidade;
• Nunca esquecer suas prioridades ou o seu eu;
• Não se dedicar a um homem mais do que ele se dedica a você;
• Não passar mais tempo analisando os problemas de um homem do que você passa tentando compreender os seus;
• Não transformar um homem mortal no próprio Deus;
• Não cobiçar a vida de sua vizinha;
• Julgar todos os homens pela consciência de suas ações, e não por suas palavras;
• Não tolerar nenhuma forma de abuso;
• Desenvolver seus próprios talentos, seu próprio potencial e sua própria independência;
• Ser justa com os homens de sua vida e esperar justiça em troca.

[Rachel Laskowski · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this book. It has so much great advice.Unfortunately, I learned most lessons the hard way. They could've been prevented if I read this book years ago. I would recommend this book to everyone. It's one of my favorite books.

[Beth · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book helped me through college and the difficult relationship ups and downs I went through as a young woman. It's short, to the point and hits home.

[Chamie · Rating 5 out of 5]

must read for all women!!especially weak women that think they need a man to live..

[Ju Ribeiro · Rating 3 out of 5]

A girfriend gave me this book on the last Women's Day. I'd say that it reinforces what we all already know, but sometimes forget. Not a waste of time.

[Catheryn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Every girl should be required to read this at the age of 12. It really is what 'smart' women know and 'should' know!

[Vanessa Sitta · Rating 2 out of 5]

Kind of sexist...

[Brittany Date · Rating 3 out of 5]

Whilst crude and blunt, this has rudimentary knowledge for women to find the basics in what to look for and sustain in a relationship. It’s like a pocket book for how to look out for yourself and avoid the some pitfalls of dating, marriage and navigating life as a woman wanting a good relationship! I would give it 5 stars if I was 18 and reading it for the first time, with little to no relationship experience behind me. I give it 3.5 just because I would like some more sophistication and complex advice.

[Diane Antonacci · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must read

Wish I had read this after being widowed and entering the dating scene,,,would have saved me much confusion. Take it from me who was married 34 years and consider myself to be pretty smart about men, it is never too late to learn.

Great men do still exist ~ I met one and after running into heartbreak, games and disillusionment with dating I had almost given up. So anyone reading , this book will help you navigate past the games and confusion of 'less than' men.
This book is GOLD.

[Jazmin · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 ⭐️⭐️

I’m conflicted about this book. There are a few valuable lessons especially for younger women or anyone newer to dating and some of the guidance is genuinely important and worth hearing.

But at the same time, many sections felt overly focused on what women should or shouldn��t do to keep a man happy, and at times it placed the blame squarely on women. That angle really didn’t sit well with me. I really DON’T care what men are put off by. They can go cry about it.

[Kavish · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a short, very funny and interesting book.You won't be bored even for a minute while reading it.Any woman struggling in dating or with building a healthy relationship should read this book.

There are nuggets of wisdom in the book.I enjoyed reading it and you will too.

[Yosmeri Mora · Rating 4 out of 5]

It is a great book to have an overall of many women's dating stories, and history. Signs of trauma issues. Ways of getting out of bad situations with men and the ideal of perfect relationships. A quick read.

[Eneri Troncoso · Rating 4 out of 5]

Super fun to read, I was laughing like crazy!

[Daniela Pedro · Rating 3 out of 5]

Qualquer homem que não aparece ou não quando disse que faria não vale o papel onde o seu número de telefone está escrito.

[Zoe McKey · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some very insightful remarks. I wish I read it 3 years ago...

[Sondoss Aldimasi · Rating 3 out of 5]

A reminder of the basics of starting a new relationship. What to avoid and what to appreciate. What’s worth it and what needs questioning.

[Savannah Ryan · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book is so boring and I’m on page 40 (ebook) out of 70. Unkess something changes I don’t even see myself finishing this. Do not recommend 👎🏻

[Rose Smith · Rating 3 out of 5]

Outdated and super depressing, probably true nontheless

[Duke DeLaet · Rating 3 out of 5]

Obviously I wasn't the target audience. Seemed kinda moralistic.