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320 pages, Hardcover
First published November 1, 2014
"In answer to his query, Tania (her name was on a badge that rested on the gentle declension of her left breast) said, “Well, gosh, it depends what you mean by ‘Fantasy.’ I mean, it’s a broad-spectrum genre, as I’m sure you know. There’s Post-Tolkien Traditionalist Fantasy, obviously. That’s your goblins and wizards and so forth. Reliable. Then there’s Post-Tolkien Experimental, which has glam-rock angels and drugs and that sort of thing. Not to be confused, of course, with Mormon Vampire Fantasy, which is an entirely different thing. As is Steampunk.”
“Steampunk?”
“You know. Victorian time warp. Like Blade Runner directed by Isambard Kingdom Brunel.”
“Ah, yes.” Philip’s brain scrambled for coordinates like a drowning spider clutching at the radials of a plughole.
“Then, of course, there’s Portal Fantasy, in which the central characters find their way through some gap or tunnel in the cosmic fabric and find themselves in a different dimension of the spacio-temporal continuum, although in my opinion” – here Tania sniffed disdainfully – “these are often just sexed-up historical novels. Very popular with children of single parents, though. I have absolutely no idea why. Let’s see. Right: Post-Apocalypse Fantasy. That’s boys’ stuff. Basically Post-Tolkien Experimental with continuous violence. Think computer games for the semiliterate. Tricky to tell the difference between that and Splatter SF, as often as not. It’s provoked some lively discussions as to cataloging, I can tell you. Baguettes have been thrown in the staff room more than once. Dystopian Fantasy is more or less the same thing, but with a girl as the main character because teenage girls are more miserable than teenage boys. What else? Philip Pullman. He’s another problem. The Dewey System just wasn’t designed with him in mind. Religious Fantasy, you might say, but that’s the same as Theology, isn’t it? Irene over there at the desk would call it Pretentious Fantasy, but then she only likes books about the SAS. There’s Terry Pratchett, of course, but he’s pretty sui generis.”
“Indeed,” Philip said knowledgeably.
“And needless to say there’s Harry Potter, but you’ll know those. No point you looking for them anyway. They’re all out and reserved for the next two years. In fact, the books that J. K. says she’s not going to write are reserved for the next two years.”
The sun sinks, leaving tatty furbelows of crimson cloud in the Dartmoor sky. From somewhere in the bracken, tough invisible ponies huff and snicker. Final calls: rooks croaking homeward, a robin hoping for a last territorial dispute before bedtime. Voles scuttle to holes, their backs abristle with fear of Owl. It is early spring. Lambs plead for mothers. Below ground, badgers, ripe and rank with estrus, prepare themselves for the night’s business. A fox flames its ears and clears its throat.