What He Left Behind

by L.A. Witt

Can you ever have a second first time?

Josh Carver thinks it’s just another lunch with his best friend, Michael—until Michael confesses he just turned down a date with his hot veterinarian crush. It seems Michael’s abusive ex left him more scarred than Josh realized.

Josh and his husband, Ian, have done their best to help Michael leave his horrific past behind, but even Josh is stunned when Ian suggests that Josh help Michael with his fear of physical intimacy. After all, it isn’t like it would be the first time—Josh and Michael were once each other’s firsts.

A hesitant first kiss, and Josh and Michael’s natural attraction eases the way. But with Michael still balking at the prospect of sex with someone new, Ian steps into the breach.

Everything is fine and dandy until emotions become so entangled, their friendship—and a marriage—could be at risk.

Warning: Contains three guys who will do anything for each other, a hot tub that’s always the right temperature, and a cat with an attitude problem.

Genres: M M Romance, Menage, M M M, Contemporary, Romance, Friends To Lovers, Abuse

238 pages, ebook

First published August 18, 2015

About the author

L.A. Witt and her husband have been exiled from Spain and sent to live in Maine because rhymes are fun. She now divides her time between writing, assuring people she is aware that Maine is cold, wondering where to put her next tattoo, and trying to reason with a surly Maine coon. Rumor has it her arch nemesis, Lauren Gallagher, is also somewhere in the wilds of New England, which is why L.A. is also spending a portion of her time training a team of spec ops lobsters.

Authors Ann Gallagher and Lori A. Witt have been asked to assist in lobster training, but they "have books to write" and "need to focus on our careers" and "don't you think this rivalry has gotten a little out of hand?" They're probably just helping Lauren raise her army of squirrels trained to ride moose into battle.

Visit her website at http://www.gallagherwitt.com/.

Reviews

[Gigi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Re-read Jan. 2017 I really love this book. Worth every star!



Let's just start with the facts here. I am a hurt/healing/comfort junkie. You know that Best M/M Hurt/Healing/Comfort Books listopia over at GoodReads? I created that. Of the 43 books on my 5+ stars list, 23 of them are hurt/healing/comfort. And for the first time, I submitted a prompt to the M/M Romance DRiTC event. Here it is:

Dear Author,

I’ve been hurt badly. In my first month away from home, enjoying new-found independence on my college campus, I was brutally raped by a stranger. I had barely begun my homosexual exploration, kissing and some hand jobs, with a few men who were also experimenting, when it happened 7 years ago. I have not been able to enjoy sexual relations with another man ever since. It has affected every one of my romantic relationships and I am sick and tired of being alone and afraid. I have decided to ask my best friend, a man I first met in junior high and trust with ever part of my being, to help me overcome my fear of intimacy and sex. Yes, he is straight, but his love for me is strong and he suffers along with me when my fears arise. My hope is that he can help me, taking baby steps, enjoy the wonders of sex by touching me and loving me. I know that it will hurt when our intimate time together is over, but I’m not going to think about that now. I need the overwhelming dread and fear of other men stricken from my mind before I can worry about anything else.

(GFY, hurt/healing/comfort, no cheating, emotional sex as hot as fire and a HEA. I’d like to see these MCs well matched and versatile in the bedroom. I leave everything else up to up, my dearest author.)

Sincerely,
Gigi

So, now you have the facts.

As I got into What He Left Behind, it became very apparent that this book was almost exactly like my prompt. An abused man, no longer able to function in a romantic relationship because of fear of sex and intimacy. Holy shit! Did L.A. Witt read my prompt?? Because this book was written for me! It included all my favorites! I was a tab overwhelmed and overly excited and gobbled this book up in one sitting. MY BOOK!

Now, there was one major difference here and that is the fact that this is a ménage romance. Michael is the abused man, his best friend is Josh, the one who does the sexual healing (HOT AS FIRE) and Josh is married to Ian, who is actually the one to suggest the "sexual therapy" to Josh in the first place. (Obviously Ian gets in on the fun as the story progresses.) I have to admit it was a little strange at first. Josh in love and married to a wonderful man, meeting his best friend for hot sex on the side. With permission! But once it all settled in my brain, I was SOLD. And when Ian joins them, it was weird again, but only for a scene or two. Yes, I am picky about my M/M/M romance, but L.A. Witt has done it before to my delight with The Distance Between Us and Out of Focus and she did it again here.

Hurt/healing/comfort junkies, like me, are going to eat this up. Those picky with their ménage romances, like me, are going to love the emotion because of the sex and intimacy.

5 stars, highly recommended.



This review has been crossed posted to Gay Book Reviews
This review is also posted at Gay Book Reviews

[*J* Too Many Books Too Little Time · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 Stars!



That's kind of the mindset with this one. Yeah it's hot, but no way in the world can I imagine this scenario happening and playing out like it did.

It is a ménage but honestly there weren't a lot ménage scenes.

Josh sets out to help his best friend and former lover Michael overcome his intimacy issues after being sexually abused. And he does this by providing him a way to "get back in to sex" with someone he knows. Him.



His own sexual therapy if you will. Mind you Josh has been happily married to Ian for the past decade.

It doesn't feel like cheating even though most everything that goes on between Michael and Josh is separate from Ian. And it was Ian's idea in the first place. But I still never felt the emotional connection between any of them.

And it kind of just felt like the same thing over and over again. Josh's internal hate toward Steve (the abusive ex), Josh spending the week in Michael's bed and then Ian's bed, all three in the hot tub on Sunday...and start a new week.

The sex scenes were hot but I felt like they were more real between Josh and Michael, not Josh and Ian. So I had a hard time believing in all three of them together as a couple.

[Brooke · Rating 5 out of 5]

⭐️ 5 stars ⭐️

♪𝒮𝑜𝓃𝑔 𝑀𝒶𝓉𝒸𝒽 — 𝒮𝒽𝑒𝓁𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝒷𝓎 𝒮𝓁𝑒𝑒𝓅 𝒯𝑜𝓀𝑒𝓃♪
// And no matter the cost of rain
I will shelter you all the same //

“He’s gone now, but he left a lot behind. It’s going to take a while to work through it all.”
“I know it will. But we’ll take all the time you need. I promise.”

I’m pretty sure the first time I read this, I gave it four stars only because it’s solo POV. But this is too perfect of an MMM romance, one I kept thinking about rereading, to not give it a five.

“Do you want this?” I ask. “Do you want—” “I want everything.” His gaze drops again, and he exhales. “I want you to kiss me. I want you to fuck me.” He shakes his head. “Goddammit, I want to be able to do this without being scared of someone who isn’t here.”

It’s a smut-forward type of romance, but the sex has meaning. It’s a story about healing, about trying to cancel out past hurt with all the comfort possible, about men who communicate and express their feelings. No fighting, no jealousy, no angst. Just lots of love and patience and honesty.

I pray with every touch of my lips to his skin that this ends the way it did that very first time. Orgasms. Kisses. Smiles. No ghosts, no demons—only pleasure and innocence.

I loved how their relationship progressed, how they went from Josh helping Michael to helping him together to falling for each other. It’s such a beautiful love story.

Fuck words. Fuck thoughts. Ian’s sucking my cock and Michael’s fucking Ian right in front of me, and I don’t know or care how to articulate anything beyond a long, helpless moan.

And it was just super fucking hot. Not just the scenes with all three of them together, even the slow tentative first times when Josh was trying to get Michael comfortable. Even when it was going wrong, there was so much passion and care and love between these men, it’s impossible not to get swept up with them, impossible not to fall for their love story.

I loved this book even more this second time around, and even if I would’ve liked glimpses of Michael and Ian’s thoughts, it’s such a perfect hurt/comfort romance.

“You said karma owed me big-time. That there was a good guy out there waiting for me.” His smile gets bigger, and I swear his eyes tear up as he says, “Turns out there were two right in front of my face.”

CW and NSFW info (spoilers):
- MMM
- Established couple bring in a third
- Friends to lovers
- Mentions of past abusive relationship & SA
- PTSD & anxiety attacks
- MC w/ touch aversion
- Vers MCs
- Frotting
- Coming hands-free
- 69

[BookAddict ✒ La Crimson Femme · Rating 3 out of 5]

Would you sacrifice a marriage to help a best friend? When Michael, Josh's best friend confesses that after five years, he's still afraid of physical contact because of his ex-lover, Steve, Josh is horrified. Josh understands Michael is going through PTSD from the sexual and physical abuse. He worries for Michael and doesn't know what to do to help, until his husband Ian suggests sexual healing therapy.

Seriously, what is this? "Let me help you get over your trauma. We can fuck like bunnies until you feel comfortable to have sex with others." Does this line actual work? Why yes, it does. This is probably not a shrink approved therapy, but it works for Ian, Josh and Michael. Frankly, with the hotness of the sex in this story, I could care less about Michael's trauma. It is definitely insensitive of me but I just want to yell at Michael, "BEND OVER ALREADY! Suck that dick. Suck it!" Because if there is one thing Ms. Witt excels in, it is writing smoking hawt m/m sex. When Ian joins in to help heal Michael, this threesome is panty wetting goodness. The sex is intimately described in graphic detail. And oh boy is it tantalizing. At one point, I just wished the men stopped talking about feelings and just moved on to sucking, licking, probing and thrusting.

Sex aside, this story does explore what it means to help a friend. It also explores the messiness when good friends cross into lover territory. It also explores how sometimes, two people in a relationship is fabulous but adding another will make it phenomenal. Triads are not easy with jealousies and misunderstandings. Ms. Witt writes a softer and more romantic perspective of three men finding their happiness in each other's arms. This is a sweetly romantic story enhanced with an erotic ménage. Recommended for m/m readers who want a feel good book with a happily ever after.

*provided by NetGalley

[Julio Genao]

*dominican accent*

...i don't know. his shirt? why you even axxing me?

[Carol · Rating 5 out of 5]

It catches your interest from the very first as Michael, Joshes longtime friend, is telling Josh about his inability to trust in a relationship with anyone after his abusive ex. Josh and Michael were each other’s firsts in everything, so Josh is heart- broken for Michael and wants to help. just that when Josh is telling his husband, Ian, that Michael is having problems with others because of Steve his ex, Ian suggests that maybe Josh can help out with that problem. It's a bit on the "maybe" and, the "how can everything possibly NOT go wrong" side...but it made an interesting storyline. My suspicious nature had another reaction to Ian's suggestion... “Who are you sleeping with, Ian?” I thought to myself that NOBODY is that understanding or that good of a friend to suggest his husband sleep with someone without an alternate reason. But... Ian’s reasoning is that he cares about Michael as a friend, and that everything should be done to help him out. And, since Josh was once Michael’s lover, who else could be a better candidate to help Michael? Nobody had to make the suggestion twice and Josh eagerly heads off to help Michael out with his problems, at this point most of the story then becomes an erotic therapeutic journey. Since Michael is doing so well with overcoming his fears, it is then suggested that it’s time to try it out with someone who Michael knows but hasn’t slept with yet...and now we have Ian willingly volunteering for the job. I still felt that no matter how good the intentions, something bad is going to rear its ugly little head. Everyone with the common sense that God gave green apples know that Ian and Josh, really took a chance and that they could have done more harm than good with Michael. And...it did seem to have cause what Josh thought were problems...but I had already worked out the solution and was just waiting for them to get with the program:) There was a happy ending, but I hope that everyone really knows that if this was to cross from fiction to reality the results could be dangerous and even deadly.

[Pixie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Man….huh….well. The good bit is there is A LOT of sex in this one.

In theory this is a very good idea that just didn’t feel authentic. I don’t know if it was how everything went about. It seemed very calculated and a bit unnatural. Almost like the author didn’t want the reader to judge or question Josh and his motives. Ian suggest Josh sleep with his best friend who is a domestic abuse survivor and has not been able to date because he fears intimacy and can’t be touched. Ian is pretty rock solid never really seeming jealous or worried even though as things progress Josh and Michael are spending a ton of time at Michael’s working out his sex issues. So much so that Josh starts to realize he hasn’t been intimate with his own husband for weeks. As things progress it turns into a threesome. Again no jealousy, and ultimately the three realize they have feelings for each other and they live happily ever after.

It all went a little too smoothly is the issue. You get jealous, you feel lonely, you question how rock solid your relationship is. It’s natural. Everyone wants to be liked/loved the most. It’s that conflict and angst that was missing.

I also wished that rather than focusing on the sex when it came to the three of them, with the exception of the hot tub scene, I wished there’d been more glimpses of them as a “family” at home prior to making that decision. Cause it’s not really the sex that makes you question, it’s the relationship times, the inside jokes the other two have that you missed, the shared hobby that you don’t get or like. I wanted to see them work past that. I also got that Michael & Josh obviously had a 20 year long friendship and a past sexual history, what I didn’t see was the part where Ian also falls in love with Michael. Instead I felt like Ian made a choice to ask Michael to be part of his marriage because Josh loved Michael and Ian loved Josh. As someone who has been there let me tell you, it doesn’t work out well.

[Martin · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a nice change. I was in the mood for a believable MMM story, and if you can overlook the fact that 90% of this book is sex, it was actually quite enjoyable.

Michael was heavily abused during his five-year relationship and is now a single man who can't start a new relationship because sex feels like torture to him, no matter how nice the guy he's dating is.

His best friend and first lover, Josh, has been happily married to Ian for nearly a decade. Josh wants to help Michael overcome his fears, and Ian agrees that Josh can help Michael with his sex life in a very physical way.

Of course, Michael's trauma is pretty severe, so most of the sex in this story isn't exactly sexy. I also wasn't a big fan of how much sex there was.

Josh had sex with Michael nearly every day, and later with Ian too so he wouldn't feel left out. Once their threeway dynamic started, the amount of sex became completely over the top. Josh and Ian were like sex workers with only one client! LOL.

That said, with this much intimacy being shared over months, it's no surprise that feelings developed. A threeway relationship was the only logical resolution for this story.

At the same time, the story makes it clear that this setup wouldn't be healthy in real life, even if the idea is relatable.

All in all, I liked how the story ended on a sweet note. But even with three guys having sex on nearly every page, it's not exactly an erotic read.

3.5 stars!

[Aerin · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm a lot disappointed about this book because I had higher expectations. Threesomes for me are totally acceptable when they're written in a believable way; I need to understand the purpose of introducing a third partner, it needs to be done in a realistic, believable way, and last but not least, it needs to contribute to the relationship. If a third partner doesn't add anything to a relationship, if he does't make it better, then it defeats the purpose.

Here we have the story of Michael, a single guy who's sufferering from PTSD and intimacy issues after suffering for years through an abusive relationship. Josh Carver, his best friend and former lover, wants to see Michael succeed in starting a new relationship so that he can be happy again. Josh is married to Ian, an amazing guy who's my favorite character in this book. Ian suggests Josh and Michael start a sexual relationship in order for Josh to help Michael become comfortable with sex and intimacy again, and for me, that didn't seem believable. So this was the point where this book started going downhill for me. Ian and Josh are so happy together, they feel complete, so it's not like anything in their life is missing; they're sex life is off the charts hot, so that doesn't need any improvement. Basically the reason for all this doesn't sell the story to me, because as much as I tried and wanted to buy into that story, it really didn't make any sense, and it left me with a bitter feeling. Michael was nothing else but an intruder.

Josh and Michael start having sex as a therapeutic treatment, only once feelings start coming into play, things get muddied up. Ian becomes involved with Michael as well, and while we get a pretty good threesome scene, their chemistry didn't feel real. The sex between Josh and his husband Ian is a lot hotter, dirtier, kinkier, and all around better than any sex scene that involves Michael. Michael should have stayed a friend and nothing more, and I can't even express how much I was hoping he would go his own way by the end of the book.

The ending is not what I wanted, but it is a happy one. I can't really complain too much, certain parts of this book worked well if considered individually, but looking at them as a whole, they don't come together very well. The writing is in 1st person present tense, and that's my least favorite, so maybe that was one of the reasons I felt so disconnected with this book. Either way, the writing is good, and if you're a fan of threesomes, you might like this a lot more than I did.

ARC provided by the publisher in exchange for an honest review...

[SoCalBookReviews · Rating 2 out of 5]

I have very mixed feelings about this book...
I did however like the Audio, Dan did a good job with that aspect and making sure you could tell the difference in the three men's characters, coming from Josh point of View. I think the narration made this book a little more bearable for me.
So, I'm not quite sure how I feel about this book in its entirety. For a MMM its not really an MMM till the very end. I don't really like the way the relationships between Josh, Ian, and Michael plays out. Josh and Ian are married. Michael is their best friend who is dealing with PTSD *For Years* when it comes to relationships and sex.. Josh tries to help Michael by helping getting him through his issues by having sex together. So, This book is basically ALOT of SEX. I can say this.. The Author really does know how to write sex scenes really well. But its a little story, sex, a little more story, sex, a little more, then A Lot More Sex. LOL. Then Ian gets involved in the sex. then the three of them, just more sex. Finally the very last end of this book, they finally figure their crap out and come together as more. Overall it was ok. I'm glad I took a chance to listen. but I probably wont re-read/listen to this one its more of a one and done.

[Ele · Rating 3 out of 5]

Exactly what J said.

And too much sex (it has to be too much to make me complain!)
It took up all this space that could have been used to build the relationship between the three of them.

Just an ok read but I don't really buy it. But a menage is always hard for an author to pull off IMHO.

[Debra ~~ seriously slacking on her reviews ~~ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Review originally posted at Sinfully...Addicted to All Male Romance

It’s been five years since Michael left his abusive boyfriend Steve. Five years of counseling and support from his friends Josh and Ian. Michael has been on some dates in that time, but panics at the thought of getting physical with anyone. His counselor suggests a sex therapist but he is uncomfortable thinking about opening up like that with a stranger. Michael and Josh are best friends that have known each other since they were kids. They were each other’s firsts and slept together on and off until Josh married Ian, but never actually dated. Ian and Josh have been together for ten years. Prior to meeting each other neither had considered long-term monogamy, but they are both committed to their marriage and have a closed relationship.

When Josh tells Ian about Michael’s issues, Ian comes up with an idea that is either brilliant or insane. Believing Josh may be the only one Michael will be comfortable enough to try to get intimate with, Ian encourages Josh to do whatever Michael needs to move on. Even after considering the potential pitfalls of the plan, Josh still isn’t prepared for the emotions and problems that arise. When it seems that Michael is almost ready to give dating a try again and get physical with someone who is not Josh, Ian becomes the perfect person to test that. One of the biggest hurdles that the men failed to consider is what happens when Michael is finally ready to move on?

At first I balked. On the one hand, this whole “sexual healing” situation could spiral out of control in so many ways and could wind up hurting all three men, why would any of them even want to go through with it? On the other hand, the men all love and trust each other at least as friends. Everyone starts off on the same page, with the same goals, so it would seemingly be the best situation to make Michael comfortable. What really won me over to the idea was the open communication, especially between Josh and Ian. The two men have one of the strongest, honest relationships I’ve read in a long time. Little is ever held back between them and they act like rational adults.

I thought L.A. Witt did a great job laying out the story and anticipating the questions and emotions her readers may have. Every time I spotted a potential issue or was wondering what on earth someone was thinking, I found it addressed soon after. The drama never felt manufactured and didn’t get over the top. It flowed naturally from the situation as Josh spends more time in bed with Michael and he becomes conflicted about how he is feeling towards him and how it is affecting his marriage even in the small ways such as missing out on time together with Ian. While I would have liked to be in Ian’s head a few times, the story is told strictly from Josh’s POV.

Of course, I can’t leave off without discussing the frequent sex scenes which cover every possible combination between the three men both as couples and as a threesome. L.A. Witt definitely writes sex hot enough to melt your Kindle. Beyond that though is the love, respect and tenderness that is there even when the sex is hard and rough.

This story offered a fresh twist on a ménage while exploring the different dynamics of friendship, love and marriage and I recommend it to any m/m/m fan.

[Jyanx]

I think I'm going to like this one a lot. So glad I got the ARC.

[Niccisbookblog · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm a bit disappointed about this book, i have read some wonderful threesomes stories that have really drawn me into a different way of life which shows that love is found in many different forms, and for me that is totally acceptable, but when they're written in a believable way.
I need to understand the purpose of introducing or having a third partner what does that extra person contribute to the relationship and make the dynamic work better as a three.
This book for me was a bit lacking, and i really wanted to like it but there didnt feel like there was any kind of dimension to the story everything was a little flat, no real angst or much tension to give the plot some umph.
The fact that a person who is part of a married couple would just say ' i think you should have sex with your old boyfriend to fix him' is a tad odd. Then the way they passed Michael between them then deciding that it would be okay for him to join in there marriage.
I love a good M/M romance but im not feeling this one

[Heather the Queen of (Smut)Books · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5

Tremendously hot but seemed a bit unrealistic at times. Josh is helping Michael at Ian's urging. But when Ian is pulled into it and emotions come into play....we've spent all this time seeing the emotional and physical build up of the relationship between Josh and Michael and the relationship between Ian and Josh but next to nothing to convince me of Ian and Michael's feelings for each other. The attraction is there but we're told rather than shown and then the book ends before we can actually see it and believe that this man would be willing to bring another man into his marriage permanently. Maybe an epilogue would've made it come together for me a little better.

Over all, still a really good hurt/ comfort read and super hot.

[Candice · Rating 2 out of 5]

Unfortunately book did not work for me. I really like a good m/m/m book, but this one just felt like cheating. Maybe if Michael was brought into this with both of them in the beginning it could have worked for me, but Ian sending Josh off to sleep with Michael and then Josh coming back to sleep with Ian, just didn't sit right with me and is not how I like to read threesome books.

[Veronica of V's Reads · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a "melt your e-reader" erotic, contemporary M/M/M ménage story that can be summed up thusly: sex, and feels, and sexy feels.

Michael was in a long term relationship with an abusive partner, Steve, for five years. It has been roughly five years since Michael escaped Steve's abuse, and he's been working with a therapist all this time, but he still cannot bear to be touched, and has had no sexual relations with any partners in all that time. Each time Michael tried to initiate something with a potential partner he suffered panic attacks and PTSD episodes. He's in his mid-thirties and completely, miserably, celibate.

Josh is Michael's friend from childhood. They grew up together and shared all their first sexual experiences. They were besties with benefits, for a long time, but haven't had any sexual relations in more than a decade--not since Josh met and married Ian. Ian and Josh have a stable, satisfying monogamous marriage, and a close friendship with Michael. When Michael confesses his fears over having sex with a new partner, it is Ian who suggests that Josh offers himself to Michael. That's right. Ian is so sure that Josh can give Michael sexual healing--without damaging their marriage--that he urges Josh to help Michael get it on.

Through fits and starts, Josh is able to coach Michael to open up sexually. They are slow and tentative with each other, and it's shattering Josh's confidence, always wondering if he'll push Michael too far, while also worrying that he is pushing Ian away.

I'm just gonna say that this is one of the most tender, most honest, and most absolutely scorching ménage stories I've read in a long time. The feels! My god! I wanted to weep whenever Michael clenched up and panicked. And Josh is an absolute mess inside. He tells the story, so we are constantly privy to his conflict. Ian is spectacular. Honest, and compassionate, and unrelenting as a sexual partner. When Michael becomes comfortable with Josh, and his anxiety over new partners is the last hurdle, Ian is steadfast. And hot! I almost chuckled when Josh began watching them interact and realized, 'Hey! Why am I WATCHING when I could be joining in!' I was cheering these guys on from this side of the screen for sure.

Of course, all good thing come to an end, and Michael needs to find himself a stable partner, opening up the next round of conflict between the three of them. Turns out so, so good! It's an HEA all the way. I received a review copy of this book via NetGalley.

[Nichole (DirrtyH) · Rating 5 out of 5]

That was so freaking good. L.A. Witt really brought her A game for that one.

This was basically a perfect m/m/m. It really took its time to establish the relationships. Nothing ever felt rushed. Every angle was covered. Every issue addressed. It was so satisfying, and also Freaking Hawt. Damn.

I really believed in this love story. Highly recommended.







Side note: I found a few minor little typos. Nothing that bothered me, really. A missing "an" here, a tiny misspelling there, nothing egregious. But then it occurred to me that I was recently turned down for a position doing line-editing for Samhain and now I'm a bit chapped about it.

[Evelyn Bella (there WILL be spoilers) · Rating 2 out of 5]

Embracing my toxicity because this one had an abundance of healthy communication and that bored me. I came here for mess.

[Marte - Thunderella]

This didn't work for me. I already felt uncomfortable at 12%, but I made it to 30% before I had to put it down.

Josh and Ian are married. Michael is Josh's best friend. They grew up together, came out to each other and were each other's first sexual experiences. While they never were together as a couple when they were younger, they sometimes casually hooked up in between relationships. Then Josh met Ian and they got married. Michael met Steve, who turned out to be a manipulative. violent and abusive boyfriend. Michael lived in this hell for five years until one trip to the ER too many, Josh and Ian got Michael out of the relationship. What exactly happened to Steve wasn't really explained (I only got to 30% so maybe it'll be explained later), I don't think he got reported to the police by any of them. Michael getting out of this abusive relationship happened five years ago, and all this time Michael has had therapy because his emotional scars run deep. The story starts with Michael telling Josh that emotionally he's got his head pretty much straight now, but he can't deal with any kind of touches or physical relationship, least of all sex. Josh wants to help. Ian wants to help. Ian suggest Josh helps Michael out by being intimate with him again, since they've been lovers before Michael knows and trust Josh. 

There are a few scenes early in the book with Josh and Michael being intimate (not all the way). I didn't like how quickly they got together. And the arrangement started off so casually. There weren't any solid rules or anything, which led to awkward situations, descriptions of twinges of guilt, conscience, between-the-lines-jealousy coupled with attractions. Ian also expresses reservations with the arrangement after he suggested Josh help Michael. This also happens after Josh and Michael have been intimate a couple of times. I cringed several times and I didn't enjoy reading.

I stopped at 30% with this:

----------------------
"What do we need to talk about?" [Ian]
(...)
"Well, for starters, maybe now would be a good time to address the condom issue." [Josh]
They both tense a bit.
"Condom issue?" Ian asks.
"Yeah." I glance at Michael, then turn to my husband, lacing our fingers together. "Do you have any preference? As far as whether or not we use them?"
"Oh". Ian absently rubs my thumb with his. "Um. Not really, no. I know Josh is clean."
"And I haven't touched anyone in years," Michael says.
"Then if you guys don't' want to use them, I..." Ian pauses, reaching for his glass with his other hand. "I guess I don't have any issue with that."
"We don't have to. It's completely up to you."
Ian's eyes loose focus, and he slowly sips his wine. For a few second, he rolls it around in his mouth. Michael and I exchange uncertain glances. But then Ian shrugs and puts the glass aside again. "I trust you both. If you're comfortable going bareback, then I'm comfortable with it too."
"If that changes," I say quietly, "all you have to do is tell us."
Ian nods, a faint smile forming on his lips, and he squeezes my knee. "I will. But I don't thing it'll be a problem."
Even still, silence falls again, and it stretches well into awkward. I'm not sure we have enough wine for this conversation.
-----------------------



Ian is clearly reserved and uncomfortable, even though he was the one who suggested it. They all are. And it goes to show they haven't talked things through. This is also after Josh and Michael have been together twice, one kissing scene and one rub off scene, both scenes clearly showing how emotionally scarred Michael is. But still. 

I really felt for Michael, though. He really went through hell and was left with deep emotional scars. Josh and Ian have been with him the whole way, so of course they feel strongly for their friend going through such an ordeal. Having a friend being abused or recovering from abuse also affect those around that friend, they also suffers. They suffers differently, but they still suffers. Abuse is a heavy subject and I appreciate books that deals with the subject. I also like Witt's dedications at the beginning of the book:

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To anyone who's ever been a Micheal, an Ian, or a Josh.
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So, good book, important subject.
It just didn't work for me. Hence no rating.

[Mercedes · Rating 4 out of 5]

Leave disbelief at the door when you start this book. Yes, the initial leap is a bit hard to swallow but whatever! If you like MMM and cheating-that's-not-really-cheating you will enjoy this story. Just don't internalize it OK? it's a nice dose of escapism. I usually don't care for sex scenes but the cheating-that-wasn't-cheating sex was hot as f*ck!

[Coco.V]

🎁 FREE on Amazon today (5/26/2019)! 🎁

[Barb ~rede-2-read~ · Rating 5 out of 5]

ARC provided by the publisher through Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words in exchange for an impartial review.


Over lunch one day with his best friend, Michael, Josh finds out that the reason Michael is still not dating, five years after he broke up with his abusive ex, is because he’s scared to death to even touch someone, never mind possibly have sex again. Josh is shocked by the confession. Though he knew Steve had been both physically and emotionally abusive to Michael, he just didn’t realize that so many of the things he takes for granted with his husband, Ian, are denied to Michael by fear of intimacy.

Josh and Michael have been friends ever since their early teens, and it was Michael with whom Josh first had sex when he came out in his senior year of high school. In fact, they were lovers off and on all through college while remaining best friends. And it was Michael who helped get Josh and Ian back together when they broke up early in their relationship. The trio has been friends ever since, and it killed Josh and Ian to see how very abusive Steve was to Michael, but they were there to love and support him when he was finally able to break away.

Over the past few years, Josh and Michael have seen each other at lunchtime, and the trio gets together every Sunday night to talk and drink wine in Josh and Ian’s hot tub. And it’s because of this close friendship that Ian suggests that Josh help Michael get over his fear of intimacy by having sex with him. After all, they’ve done it before and were each other’s firsts, so why not help him get back to where he can be intimate with a man again. Shocked by Ian’s idea, Josh nonetheless follows through and, though it takes time to break down many of Michael’s barriers, it eventually works. Then one Sunday night in the hot tub, Michael tells Josh that he���s ready to do it with someone else, and the two decide to approach Ian.

Ian’s involvement with Michael then leads to all three having sex and eventually Josh and Ian realize that they need to take time for themselves or they will lose what they have together. But when Michael starts to date again, a whole new world of hurt opens up for Josh, and he doesn’t know whether his marriage to Ian will survive the turmoil created by his obviously engaged heart.

Content advisory: Get your personal fans out before you read this story! The sex is sizzling hot, the characters endearing, the relationships—all of them, from the pairs of Josh and Ian and Josh with Michael and Michael with Ian to all three together—are amazingly well-developed and realistic. As a reader, I could feel the deep bond of friendship and love that existed between Josh and Michael, as well as the oneness of the Josh-Ian marriage relationship. In fact, although I can’t tolerate cheating, I didn’t feel that there was any hint of that in this story. There was emotional support for each other every step of the way. Everything that happened made sense as the men slowly bonded, and all of the relationship dynamics developed.

This was the best example of ménage I’ve read in a long time. In fact, it may be the best ever because it made so much sense for the three to be together that it was like watching all the pieces of a puzzle click into place. I can’t recommend this one highly enough. If you like M/M/M, this is a must buy.

[JustJen "Miss Conduct" · Rating 5 out of 5]

Review by The Blogger Girls.

Add this one right to the top of my all-time favorite ménage stories. Wow, is this hot stuff and such a good story!

Michael is having some serious intimacy issues after his ex left him damaged emotionally and physically. He just can’t seem to get past the fear of being with someone new sexually. Every time he tries, he has flashbacks to his past relationship that have thus far kept him from any new relationships. He finally confides in his best friend, Josh, about his troubles.

Josh and Michael have been best friends for ever. They had been lovers early on, but that was basically in their younger exploratory days. Now, Josh and his husband Ian are together, and Michael is still a big part of their lives. It is actually Ian who comes up with the idea that Josh should help Michael through his issues thinking Michael would be more comfortable with someone he trusts and has already been with. They believe they can help the friend they care so much about if they can just get him past his current hang ups.

I absolutely loved these guys. Josh and Ian are great together and perfect for each other, but Josh and Michael are also amazing. I loved watching Josh help Michael through each stage, helping him gain back his confidence with each step they took. Eventually, they’ve accomplished as much as they’d hoped, and, looking for the next step, Josh suggests Michael try things with Ian, someone he knows and trusts but has not yet been with. Ian and Michael are fabulous together as well, though they have to tackle a few setbacks here and there. Unfortunately, after clearing Michael for takeoff, it doesn’t go as well as they’d all hoped when he tries again on his own.

My heart broke for Michael so many times, but was soothed time and again by how much Josh and Ian obviously cared for him. When they finally decide the three of them work best together after realizing how much more their feelings have grown, I was doing a major happy dance. Because the three of them together were absolutely perfect. They each complemented the other so well, and there was such open communication that I found utterly refreshing.

So, yes, this definitely goes on my favorite ménage list, as I don’t think I would ever get tired of reading about these guys in any matching they choose. I enjoyed every word and did not want this to end. It was definitely another hit for Ms. Witt that I highly recommend.

[Vanessa theJeepDiva · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love friends to lovers romances. What He Left Behind is a great one with a different twist, Josh is married. Josh and Michael have been best friends for a very long time. When they started getting curious about sex as teens they figured out all things pleasurable with each other. They had fun with it. They dated other men but often fell back into bed together when nothing else was on their plates. All that stopped when Steve and Ian came into their lives. Josh married Ian, and Steve destroyed Michael.

What He Left Behind picks up on Michael’s life five years later. He is struggling to even date again much less become intimate with another man. Josh and Michael are still best friends so of course Michael discusses all of his problems with Josh. Josh as a happily married man discusses all of his problems with Ian. Josh sees Michael’s issues as something that should never have happened. Josh and Ian both want their friend Michael to get his life back. Ian would do anything for Josh, thus Michael too. That is why Ian makes a suggestion that he believes will help Michael begin getting his life back on track.

What starts out as friends sleeping together for therapeutic benefits quickly turns into something more. The something more of this story is what makes this such a heartbreaking read. There are a ton of emotions here and while things can easily get mixed up and some lines get blurred these men love each other and only want what is best for the other. There are struggles within their little arrangement and they men care for too much for the other for anyone to get hurt. Witt has given readers an amazing love story and a super sexy read.

[Pjm12 · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is very insular and intimate. Apart from the discussions about Stephen and the apparently divine Dr Klein, we meet no other characters than Josh, (the narrator), his husband Ian, and Michael.

Seriously, no one else. Although, if you're so inclined, there is a lot about the two dogs and the cat.

It's like these three live in their bubble (and on Sundays they relax in a hot tub and I guess there'd be bubbles there).

It's very intimate. There is a lot of sex. A lot of three way, two way, all the ways sex. So it is hot.

What Michael went through is not described in detail, but readers can work it out, and it is not pretty. So kudos to the author for not going into gruesome detail, but writing it in such a way, that our horror and concern for Michael is invoked. Very much so.

I liked this, but I didn't love it. It is sad, and just a smidge too intense for me.

[Ela The Queer Bookish · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really, really liked the idea. I liked the sex scenes. But I didn’t like how many there were. It’s like 90% sex and 10% plot (this is no calculation, just my feeling).

I don’t even know what I should tell you about this book. Maybe you should read it when you’re alone or with your partner(s).

I would have liked if there were more plot, more emotional rollercoaster…. I thought there would be more drama to be honest.

This ARC was provided to me by NetGalley in exchange for a honest review. Thank you.

[Kristie · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 Stars but you know....GR with the no half stars thing.

I read this... obviously. I was torn but after sitting down and thinking about it, there were a lot of things I liked about this story. Mostly, the characters and story itself. The way it was handled. You can see my review at Boys In Our Books.

[Trisie]

Doesn't work for me at all, everything feels so weird.

This is a conversation between Ian and Josh, shortly after Ian gave his husband blessing to fuck another guy.

“I’m not making any accusations. You’re attracted to him. I have a crush on my boss.” He shrugs. “It’s life. We’re married, not castrated.”

Uhm, no. I have a real life for this shit, I don't want it in my fiction.

[Readingjourney [semi-hiatus] · Rating 2 out of 5]

I didn’t like it. To me it felt almost ‘clinical’ in a way. First of all I absolutely did not feel the love between the two married men of the trio, and after that I didn’t feel much more the love that was supposedly there between the three of them. Disappointing read for sure.