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My Son's Not Rainman: One Man, One Boy, a Million Adventures
Heartfelt, funny, and ultimately uplifting, one father discusses the life of a single dad raising a son who just so happens to have autism
My Son's Not Rainman is a heartfelt and uplifting account of everyday events in the life of John and his son (The Boy). The Boy is 12 years old and autistic. He isn't a genius. His only special power is making his dad laugh. A lot. Following the success of the blog of the same name, John talks not just about the difficulties of having a child who is considered "different" but also the joy of living with someone who looks at the world in a unique way. This isn't a story about autism. It's a story about a young boy who happens to have autism, and there is a big difference. It does relate the struggles of getting a diagnosis for The Boy and the dismay of having his child excluded from schools. However, John very rarely dwells on the downside of his son's condition, preferring instead to look at the happiness and insight his son has given him. Funny and heart-warming, this is a book about living with the often frustrating and bewildering, but always fascinating, world of the autistic mind. It's about finding the positive in everything, from the joy and wonder of the Special School Disco to the unadulterated thrill of getting the front seat on the Docklands Light Railway. Ultimately, it's a celebration of what it really means to be different.
My Son's Not Rainman is a heartfelt and uplifting account of everyday events in the life of John and his son (The Boy). The Boy is 12 years old and autistic. He isn't a genius. His only special power is making his dad laugh. A lot. Following the success of the blog of the same name, John talks not just about the difficulties of having a child who is considered "different" but also the joy of living with someone who looks at the world in a unique way. This isn't a story about autism. It's a story about a young boy who happens to have autism, and there is a big difference. It does relate the struggles of getting a diagnosis for The Boy and the dismay of having his child excluded from schools. However, John very rarely dwells on the downside of his son's condition, preferring instead to look at the happiness and insight his son has given him. Funny and heart-warming, this is a book about living with the often frustrating and bewildering, but always fascinating, world of the autistic mind. It's about finding the positive in everything, from the joy and wonder of the Special School Disco to the unadulterated thrill of getting the front seat on the Docklands Light Railway. Ultimately, it's a celebration of what it really means to be different.
256 pages, Paperback
First published October 1, 2015
60 people are currently reading
194 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 58 reviews
January 18, 2025
I have been reading books about autism for years. I go through phases. First was reading books by “professionals” such as doctors and therapists. Then books written by parents of autistic children. Now it’s books by autistic authors.
The parent phase ended abruptly after reading one where the mother was extremely negative. I felt like I was just reading account after account of holidays ruined by her son and finally ending with the mother blaming him for everything that had ever gone wrong in her life. It was so awful and heart breaking to think if that poor child ever ended up reading that book.
I was sorting through my books, deciding what to keep and what to donate when I came across this one. I couldn’t decide what to do, read it or donate it. The title didn’t give me hope but the author is a comedian so I thought I would at least start it and if I felt it was too negative I would stop reading.
I loved this book right from the beginning. John Williams was honest. He described the hard times but he had plenty of stories about the fun times. He described his thoughts and fears. He described other people’s reactions and their lack of understanding. He told stories in such an interesting way and he had me laughing often.
I felt like he was a great father who tried his hardest to understand his son and to make him happy. He didn’t make the book all about himself, trying to make others feel pity. His son would be proud to read this book.
I think that any book discussing autism should do two things for the reader: give useful information and give hope. Otherwise it’s pointless to read. This book definitely ticked both of those.
One piece of useful information that I have learnt before reading this book is that behaviour is communication and John abided by this for his son.
I couldn’t wait to get to the end of the book while also not wanting it to end. This book was written 9 years ago and I was really hoping to find out how he and his son are doing now but unfortunately it doesn’t look like he has written any other books. If he does, I’ll definitely be reading them. I highly recommend this book.
The parent phase ended abruptly after reading one where the mother was extremely negative. I felt like I was just reading account after account of holidays ruined by her son and finally ending with the mother blaming him for everything that had ever gone wrong in her life. It was so awful and heart breaking to think if that poor child ever ended up reading that book.
I was sorting through my books, deciding what to keep and what to donate when I came across this one. I couldn’t decide what to do, read it or donate it. The title didn’t give me hope but the author is a comedian so I thought I would at least start it and if I felt it was too negative I would stop reading.
I loved this book right from the beginning. John Williams was honest. He described the hard times but he had plenty of stories about the fun times. He described his thoughts and fears. He described other people’s reactions and their lack of understanding. He told stories in such an interesting way and he had me laughing often.
I felt like he was a great father who tried his hardest to understand his son and to make him happy. He didn’t make the book all about himself, trying to make others feel pity. His son would be proud to read this book.
I think that any book discussing autism should do two things for the reader: give useful information and give hope. Otherwise it’s pointless to read. This book definitely ticked both of those.
One piece of useful information that I have learnt before reading this book is that behaviour is communication and John abided by this for his son.
I couldn’t wait to get to the end of the book while also not wanting it to end. This book was written 9 years ago and I was really hoping to find out how he and his son are doing now but unfortunately it doesn’t look like he has written any other books. If he does, I’ll definitely be reading them. I highly recommend this book.
January 30, 2018
Grāmatas apraksts jau pasaka visu priekšā - kāda tēva stāsts par viņa dzīvi ar dēlu ar diagnozi 'autisms'.
Ja es būtu nepacietīga lasītāja, iespējams, grāmatu noliktu malā pēc pirmās trešdaļas, jo tēva informācijas pasniegšanas veids šķita kaitinošs. Tomēr, tā kā es retu grāmatu atstāju neizlasītu līdz galam (bet tādas tomēr ir), prieks, ka turpināju, jo tālāk vai nu pieradu pie tēva humora un izteiksmes veida, vai arī tas mainījās, jo arvien mazāk bija kaitinošo vai garlaicīgo brīžu. Tomēr jāatzīst, ka bloga ieraksta iespraudumi katras nodaļas sākumā bija traucējoši, "maisīja gaisu" un nojauca notikumu hronoloģiju.
Bet kopumā mīlīgs stāsts par tēva mīlestību, sabiedrības aizspriedumiem un mākslu neņemt galvā nosodošos skatienus un neraizēties par to, "ko citi padomās".
Ja es būtu nepacietīga lasītāja, iespējams, grāmatu noliktu malā pēc pirmās trešdaļas, jo tēva informācijas pasniegšanas veids šķita kaitinošs. Tomēr, tā kā es retu grāmatu atstāju neizlasītu līdz galam (bet tādas tomēr ir), prieks, ka turpināju, jo tālāk vai nu pieradu pie tēva humora un izteiksmes veida, vai arī tas mainījās, jo arvien mazāk bija kaitinošo vai garlaicīgo brīžu. Tomēr jāatzīst, ka bloga ieraksta iespraudumi katras nodaļas sākumā bija traucējoši, "maisīja gaisu" un nojauca notikumu hronoloģiju.
Bet kopumā mīlīgs stāsts par tēva mīlestību, sabiedrības aizspriedumiem un mākslu neņemt galvā nosodošos skatienus un neraizēties par to, "ko citi padomās".
April 5, 2021
Beautifully balanced book, made me laugh and cry in equal measures. A lovely insight into the world of autism.
July 29, 2021
I loved every page, but my favourite was the last 'chapter'.
A refreshing perspective on autism, how it looks 'less mainstream' and how it can affect the way you view the world as a carer.
I feel like I look at my own child with a new set of eyes after reading this book.
A refreshing perspective on autism, how it looks 'less mainstream' and how it can affect the way you view the world as a carer.
I feel like I look at my own child with a new set of eyes after reading this book.
August 25, 2021
I had a bit of a frustrating time with this one. Plucked out of an audible sale because I'm also the father of an autistic boy. I thought it would be interesting to 'compare notes' so to speak, bearing in mind the caveat that everyone's personal experience of autism is unique. I thought I'd be on safe ground.
In the introduction, the author talks about a reason for writing the book was as a legacy for his son. Something to read when he's an adult to reflect on with fondness.
There's no way in the world I would want my own son reflecting on, what is essentially, a series of anecdotes about how his autism has made my life more difficult.
I also found the formula for the anecdotes a bit tiresome - an autistic meltdown situation, softened by a bit of humour, followed by some kind of epiphany and acceptance about the boy's differences. The pay off, celebration of autism and difference, seems like a bit of a tag on due to the amount of focus on each situation and the problems it presented.
Not for me I'm afraid.
In the introduction, the author talks about a reason for writing the book was as a legacy for his son. Something to read when he's an adult to reflect on with fondness.
There's no way in the world I would want my own son reflecting on, what is essentially, a series of anecdotes about how his autism has made my life more difficult.
I also found the formula for the anecdotes a bit tiresome - an autistic meltdown situation, softened by a bit of humour, followed by some kind of epiphany and acceptance about the boy's differences. The pay off, celebration of autism and difference, seems like a bit of a tag on due to the amount of focus on each situation and the problems it presented.
Not for me I'm afraid.
February 8, 2017
A great book to read. As with most books about autism that I've read so far I can really relate to the story. Highly recommended.
January 23, 2018
Sometimes you thought you have children, and you are so ready to teach him or her the best you have learned all your life, turned out that he or she gave you a more precious life lessons.
We often say that we can not choose our parents, but actually, we can not choose our kids specially after they are born,
I think the author is very courage to write down his son's story, how they have been through, from denial to accept the fact, and live with it.
When life give you a tragedy, we still can make it a black comic. After all, not everyone could have the same experience as author had, we all pray the smoother, no trouble life, but been through something you can not avoid or choose will enrich a person inside out.
............................
必须要有一种方式。必须要有一种方式来分享我和我儿子的故事。尽 管我儿子身患残障——有时也许正因为这个——我的世界才充满欢声笑 语。我想跨越过去，找到那个方式。从出生至今，他处处遭遇歧视。如若 我能促使人们多去了解他，或许，仅仅是或许，那可能会带来改变。
...
我们开车带你回家。我戴着玫瑰色眼镜，每次看你，车外的灯光都从眼镜上面 一掠而过，像是把它点着了似的。然后那个小婴儿在这世界生根发芽，慢慢长大。 人们见了就开始轻声轻语地问：“他现在会说话了吗？”“他现在会走路了 吗？”但他们知道什么？他们拿你和别人比，但我不能把你跟任何人比，因为其他 人就只是像电视购物频道上的那些冒牌珠宝，但你……你是皇冠钻石，出类拔萃。
博客：《摘星星的男孩
...
我们开始制定我们独有的做事方式。幽默感和把每个任务变成一场游 戏的能力肯定起过作用。确诊后的许多年来，我们会将少量图片贴到门上 和碗橱上，作为让这孩子准备下一步的视觉提醒。 穿衣服>吃早餐>看电视>上厕所>穿鞋>出门 不可思议的是，能将事情视觉化日后对他有着多么大的帮助。但在那 时，这些都没有。忆想起来我便明白了，那时每天早上对他都像是土拨鼠 日[1]。他似乎全数淡忘了前一天发生过什么。作为家长我们知道接下来会 发生什么，因为我们昨天及今天后的每一天都要对付同样的情形。但是这 孩子，如果没有视觉提醒，他就找不着北。每天早晨，所有事情他好像都 是第一次做。我们认为他的拒绝服从并非是由于“学步者耍大牌”，而是 因为一切对他而言都是崭新和可怕的，所以他就不想动了。但最终，我们 还是帮上了忙。
...
我们先把行李装到车上。那时这孩子已经变得越来越迷恋一些东西 ——客观物质。我想它们赋予了他一种安全感，一种在持续变化的世界里 的恒定感。环境会变，但以熟悉之物环绕他，能给他一个靠山，一种自我 感。不管我们去哪里，他都得带点东西。这就在托儿所的问题上招致很多 麻烦，因为人家不准我们带玩具进去，自从肖恩偷偷从家里带进去一个橘 色小车子之后就不许了。那些工作人员尽管看到这规定多么让这孩子难 受，却寸步不让。这就使得早上那些例行事务显得更为危险。
.....
从那日起，大象于我而言就代表着一种哀伤。这哀伤在它们的眼睛 里，在它们那仿佛驮着全世界的重量，好像知道自出生后的每一步都只是 把它们更近地引向瀑布后面的洞穴的模样里。在这里我是夸张了一点，但 我想这是因为：这孩子出世后，一部分的我感到这该是我在瀑布后面躺下 来的时候了。我在这星球上的差事和目的都已完成——我生育了后代，为 生命的轮回做了贡献，现在是时候将权杖传下去了。不管怎么说，反正是 诸如此类吧。这会儿，承认我已写下这个似乎都显得癫狂。
.....
当我在床上消磨我的所有时光，我开始失去对现实的把握。我的身体 拒绝终日睡眠，因而我总是躺在那里。随着昼与夜混为一体，我开始沉 思，翻来覆去地想事情，借助短暂侵入我的宇宙的关于世界的残片，创建 我独有的一种现实形式。我听见楼下的电话响，公司打来表示关心的，在 我听来很快就变成人们对我的嘲笑。 我现在记得最清楚的就是这种偏执。思之凿凿地认为人人都要来找 我，指出我是世间的一个冒牌货。我一直觉得我随时可以终结这种状态， 总想着我马上就会起床，这样就没事了。我会冲个凉，下楼，带这孩子去 散步，然后就上班，万事大吉。我没生病，我只是想歇一歇。我这就振作 起来，只要再躺一会儿。
.....
我记得数年后的一次约诊，我们被问及这孩子有没有变得“行为明 智”了。他妈妈回答说已经好多了，他打人的时候少了很多。医生随即指 出，我们到诊室才10分钟他已经打了他妈妈七下了。我琢磨，当时我们既 不是要文过饰非，也不是想欺瞒医生，我们只不过太习惯了，所以如果没 有遇到重大事件我们一般就不会注意。我想这有点像慢性病——你每天都 有一种你已经适应了的基本病痛，因此你便对它见惯不怪了；只有这病痛 特别出挑之时你才将其记录在案。
...
。他们又说，他们从未有过像他这样的学生，他 们拿不准怎么办。有一小会儿，我内心充满骄傲。一个天才，你们是说？ 不是。这孩子拒绝参与任何事情。他尖叫、扔东西、咬人、打人。他阻挠 老师教别的孩子。他不会等轮到他。他不肯排队。他爬楼梯都爬不稳。这 单子可以一直开下去。不过，他们打算坚持。他在家有点变化，没准过几 周他就适应了。也许他厌恶坐在教室最后面。他们会把他调到前面，位置 挨着老师。别担心，一切都好。
..........
“我们学校不适合他，”在另一次会面结束时，学校的人和善地笑着 说，“恐怕我们满足不了他的需要。” 即便在回忆中去想每一次排斥对这孩子有过什么影响，都是一件非常 痛苦的事。在交朋友和维护友情这方面，他毫无疑问是困难重重，但他确 实在每一个地方都有过朋友——早些时候或许不是交谈层面上的那种，那 些人对他来说，也许是他可以在他们旁边玩而非跟他们一起玩的伙伴。但 我相信，他还是把他们当朋友的。他喜欢的那些人被不断地从他的人生中 转移走了。我们担心的是，这还只不过是一个15人的班级，接下来却要让 他转回街区公立小学与32人同班，到时他怎么跟他们相处呢？
...
我觉得对这孩子而言，生活就是这个模样。他的头脑里有一个巨大的存档系 统，划分为不同范畴的生存法则，这是他能从世界中获得意义的唯一方式。什么能 做，什么不能做，这两类规约每天增加数百条。每当出现变数，每当规则突然改 变，他就会爆发。常规能给他安慰，原因就于此。多年来我总想让他接受烹煮过的 早餐，但他不为所动。在他，早餐是一个碗加一把调羹。餐盘和刀叉，那是正餐才 用的。要让他能够应对常规中的这个似乎很小的变化，就意味着他得在头脑里改写 并重新适应他用了多年时间才掌握的正餐规则、早餐规则、餐具规则、本周每日规 则和许多其他规则，因为这些规则突然之间必须被重新学习，被重新关联，被编 档。
那天我却破坏了他的排队规则。是的，他知道人们有时可以插队。但插队的规 则又是什么？我让老太太排到我们前面是因为她年纪大或手上有6只鸡蛋或穿着绿 色外套？是因为时间是下午四点零六分，因为那是个星期三或外面正在下雨？这孩 子无法确定，所以他只好定下一条规则覆盖一切可能性。直到什么事碰巧改变了 它，它才可以被再次调整。唯其如此，令人困惑的生活才能接续下去。
每当我想到了要停下来，透过他的眼睛去看事情，思及日复一日在他脑中激烈 上演的那些战争之时，我都会更加欣赏他，甚至敬畏他以及像他的人，并提醒自己 他已经多么不容易��。没错，我必须帮他克服他那些突发情绪，控制他的攻击性。 但他会变好的。你努力每天多了解他一点点，他就会变好的。
.....
We often say that we can not choose our parents, but actually, we can not choose our kids specially after they are born,
I think the author is very courage to write down his son's story, how they have been through, from denial to accept the fact, and live with it.
When life give you a tragedy, we still can make it a black comic. After all, not everyone could have the same experience as author had, we all pray the smoother, no trouble life, but been through something you can not avoid or choose will enrich a person inside out.
............................
必须要有一种方式。必须要有一种方式来分享我和我儿子的故事。尽 管我儿子身患残障——有时也许正因为这个——我的世界才充满欢声笑 语。我想跨越过去，找到那个方式。从出生至今，他处处遭遇歧视。如若 我能促使人们多去了解他，或许，仅仅是或许，那可能会带来改变。
...
我们开车带你回家。我戴着玫瑰色眼镜，每次看你，车外的灯光都从眼镜上面 一掠而过，像是把它点着了似的。然后那个小婴儿在这世界生根发芽，慢慢长大。 人们见了就开始轻声轻语地问：“他现在会说话了吗？”“他现在会走路了 吗？”但他们知道什么？他们拿你和别人比，但我不能把你跟任何人比，因为其他 人就只是像电视购物频道上的那些冒牌珠宝，但你……你是皇冠钻石，出类拔萃。
博客：《摘星星的男孩
...
我们开始制定我们独有的做事方式。幽默感和把每个任务变成一场游 戏的能力肯定起过作用。确诊后的许多年来，我们会将少量图片贴到门上 和碗橱上，作为让这孩子准备下一步的视觉提醒。 穿衣服>吃早餐>看电视>上厕所>穿鞋>出门 不可思议的是，能将事情视觉化日后对他有着多么大的帮助。但在那 时，这些都没有。忆想起来我便明白了，那时每天早上对他都像是土拨鼠 日[1]。他似乎全数淡忘了前一天发生过什么。作为家长我们知道接下来会 发生什么，因为我们昨天及今天后的每一天都要对付同样的情形。但是这 孩子，如果没有视觉提醒，他就找不着北。每天早晨，所有事情他好像都 是第一次做。我们认为他的拒绝服从并非是由于“学步者耍大牌”，而是 因为一切对他而言都是崭新和可怕的，所以他就不想动了。但最终，我们 还是帮上了忙。
...
我们先把行李装到车上。那时这孩子已经变得越来越迷恋一些东西 ——客观物质。我想它们赋予了他一种安全感，一种在持续变化的世界里 的恒定感。环境会变，但以熟悉之物环绕他，能给他一个靠山，一种自我 感。不管我们去哪里，他都得带点东西。这就在托儿所的问题上招致很多 麻烦，因为人家不准我们带玩具进去，自从肖恩偷偷从家里带进去一个橘 色小车子之后就不许了。那些工作人员尽管看到这规定多么让这孩子难 受，却寸步不让。这就使得早上那些例行事务显得更为危险。
.....
从那日起，大象于我而言就代表着一种哀伤。这哀伤在它们的眼睛 里，在它们那仿佛驮着全世界的重量，好像知道自出生后的每一步都只是 把它们更近地引向瀑布后面的洞穴的模样里。在这里我是夸张了一点，但 我想这是因为：这孩子出世后，一部分的我感到这该是我在瀑布后面躺下 来的时候了。我在这星球上的差事和目的都已完成——我生育了后代，为 生命的轮回做了贡献，现在是时候将权杖传下去了。不管怎么说，反正是 诸如此类吧。这会儿，承认我已写下这个似乎都显得癫狂。
.....
当我在床上消磨我的所有时光，我开始失去对现实的把握。我的身体 拒绝终日睡眠，因而我总是躺在那里。随着昼与夜混为一体，我开始沉 思，翻来覆去地想事情，借助短暂侵入我的宇宙的关于世界的残片，创建 我独有的一种现实形式。我听见楼下的电话响，公司打来表示关心的，在 我听来很快就变成人们对我的嘲笑。 我现在记得最清楚的就是这种偏执。思之凿凿地认为人人都要来找 我，指出我是世间的一个冒牌货。我一直觉得我随时可以终结这种状态， 总想着我马上就会起床，这样就没事了。我会冲个凉，下楼，带这孩子去 散步，然后就上班，万事大吉。我没生病，我只是想歇一歇。我这就振作 起来，只要再躺一会儿。
.....
我记得数年后的一次约诊，我们被问及这孩子有没有变得“行为明 智”了。他妈妈回答说已经好多了，他打人的时候少了很多。医生随即指 出，我们到诊室才10分钟他已经打了他妈妈七下了。我琢磨，当时我们既 不是要文过饰非，也不是想欺瞒医生，我们只不过太习惯了，所以如果没 有遇到重大事件我们一般就不会注意。我想这有点像慢性病——你每天都 有一种你已经适应了的基本病痛，因此你便对它见惯不怪了；只有这病痛 特别出挑之时你才将其记录在案。
...
。他们又说，他们从未有过像他这样的学生，他 们拿不准怎么办。有一小会儿，我内心充满骄傲。一个天才，你们是说？ 不是。这孩子拒绝参与任何事情。他尖叫、扔东西、咬人、打人。他阻挠 老师教别的孩子。他不会等轮到他。他不肯排队。他爬楼梯都爬不稳。这 单子可以一直开下去。不过，他们打算坚持。他在家有点变化，没准过几 周他就适应了。也许他厌恶坐在教室最后面。他们会把他调到前面，位置 挨着老师。别担心，一切都好。
..........
“我们学校不适合他，”在另一次会面结束时，学校的人和善地笑着 说，“恐怕我们满足不了他的需要。” 即便在回忆中去想每一次排斥对这孩子有过什么影响，都是一件非常 痛苦的事。在交朋友和维护友情这方面，他毫无疑问是困难重重，但他确 实在每一个地方都有过朋友——早些时候或许不是交谈层面上的那种，那 些人对他来说，也许是他可以在他们旁边玩而非跟他们一起玩的伙伴。但 我相信，他还是把他们当朋友的。他喜欢的那些人被不断地从他的人生中 转移走了。我们担心的是，这还只不过是一个15人的班级，接下来却要让 他转回街区公立小学与32人同班，到时他怎么跟他们相处呢？
...
我觉得对这孩子而言，生活就是这个模样。他的头脑里有一个巨大的存档系 统，划分为不同范畴的生存法则，这是他能从世界中获得意义的唯一方式。什么能 做，什么不能做，这两类规约每天增加数百条。每当出现变数，每当规则突然改 变，他就会爆发。常规能给他安慰，原因就于此。多年来我总想让他接受烹煮过的 早餐，但他不为所动。在他，早餐是一个碗加一把调羹。餐盘和刀叉，那是正餐才 用的。要让他能够应对常规中的这个似乎很小的变化，就意味着他得在头脑里改写 并重新适应他用了多年时间才掌握的正餐规则、早餐规则、餐具规则、本周每日规 则和许多其他规则，因为这些规则突然之间必须被重新学习，被重新关联，被编 档。
那天我却破坏了他的排队规则。是的，他知道人们有时可以插队。但插队的规 则又是什么？我让老太太排到我们前面是因为她年纪大或手上有6只鸡蛋或穿着绿 色外套？是因为时间是下午四点零六分，因为那是个星期三或外面正在下雨？这孩 子无法确定，所以他只好定下一条规则覆盖一切可能性。直到什么事碰巧改变了 它，它才可以被再次调整。唯其如此，令人困惑的生活才能接续下去。
每当我想到了要停下来，透过他的眼睛去看事情，思及日复一日在他脑中激烈 上演的那些战争之时，我都会更加欣赏他，甚至敬畏他以及像他的人，并提醒自己 他已经多么不容易��。没错，我必须帮他克服他那些突发情绪，控制他的攻击性。 但他会变好的。你努力每天多了解他一点点，他就会变好的。
.....
March 5, 2019
I absolutely loved this book and devoured in a few days time.
The book was published only on September 1st 2016 and it was among the ones I grabbed at Waterstones when I last stayed in London in September 2016. Lucky me! I would not have wanted to miss this one!
The author, John Williams, is a single dad, divorced from The Boy's Mom and trying to cope with everyday life with his son. In 2011, while being on stage as a stand-up comedian at an office party, Williams tries to include his home, his family and his son into his performance as many comedians do, and started by 'my son, he's autistic' - SILENCE !
Williams than started writing a show about himself and The Boy and created in 2012 a blog titled 'my son's not rainman' just as the book published 4 year later. The show premiered at Edinburgh Festival in 2013.
The author himself describes the book as not being a book about autism, but just the story of one boy, told through the eyes of one man. Not a book about autism, but the story about a boy who happens to have autism, there's a difference.
It's an honest and overwhelming story, about being parent of an autistic son, about love, struggles, mental breakdown, marriage break-up, another additional diagnosis, parents not being infallible, humour, inclusion and exclusion and a packet of mints.
On several occasions the author is pointing out that 'always focussing on the bad things, you might easily miss the good ones' or 'always looking for what's wrong you might just miss the very thing that's right' and I think this is an important message to be reminded.
The book is so true, so honest, that it's nearly impossible to quit reading, because you absolutely want to know if and how they succeed on their incredible journey.
One part especially touched me, when Williams is writing for pages about their Sunday morning hours at the park, the games, the café, the magic tree. You picture both of them in awesome idyllic togetherness until the soapbubble of memories bursts and the author states that 'anyone walking past us on those Sunday mornings wouldn't have seen Poohsticks or magic trees. They'd have seen a young toddler screaming incessantly as each activity came to an end . . . ' .
Pure honesty - real life as many of us parents know it.
But between this honesty and even some tragedies, the hilarious parts make it a great book! Just to mention Dad and DIY or Santa and the Elf!
It definitely is a 'brilliantly different story about a brilliantly different boy' as quoted on the back cover of the book!
Dear John Williams, as a Mother of three, I would love to thank you for this awesome book.
More reviews on my blog: www.awesomefamilyblog.com
The book was published only on September 1st 2016 and it was among the ones I grabbed at Waterstones when I last stayed in London in September 2016. Lucky me! I would not have wanted to miss this one!
The author, John Williams, is a single dad, divorced from The Boy's Mom and trying to cope with everyday life with his son. In 2011, while being on stage as a stand-up comedian at an office party, Williams tries to include his home, his family and his son into his performance as many comedians do, and started by 'my son, he's autistic' - SILENCE !
Williams than started writing a show about himself and The Boy and created in 2012 a blog titled 'my son's not rainman' just as the book published 4 year later. The show premiered at Edinburgh Festival in 2013.
The author himself describes the book as not being a book about autism, but just the story of one boy, told through the eyes of one man. Not a book about autism, but the story about a boy who happens to have autism, there's a difference.
It's an honest and overwhelming story, about being parent of an autistic son, about love, struggles, mental breakdown, marriage break-up, another additional diagnosis, parents not being infallible, humour, inclusion and exclusion and a packet of mints.
On several occasions the author is pointing out that 'always focussing on the bad things, you might easily miss the good ones' or 'always looking for what's wrong you might just miss the very thing that's right' and I think this is an important message to be reminded.
The book is so true, so honest, that it's nearly impossible to quit reading, because you absolutely want to know if and how they succeed on their incredible journey.
One part especially touched me, when Williams is writing for pages about their Sunday morning hours at the park, the games, the café, the magic tree. You picture both of them in awesome idyllic togetherness until the soapbubble of memories bursts and the author states that 'anyone walking past us on those Sunday mornings wouldn't have seen Poohsticks or magic trees. They'd have seen a young toddler screaming incessantly as each activity came to an end . . . ' .
Pure honesty - real life as many of us parents know it.
But between this honesty and even some tragedies, the hilarious parts make it a great book! Just to mention Dad and DIY or Santa and the Elf!
It definitely is a 'brilliantly different story about a brilliantly different boy' as quoted on the back cover of the book!
Dear John Williams, as a Mother of three, I would love to thank you for this awesome book.
More reviews on my blog: www.awesomefamilyblog.com
June 23, 2019
It's a bit of a cheap trick to review a book by reference to another but this genuinely feels like the anti-Jordan Peterson.
This isn't a book about how to tidy your room before criticising anyone else, walking the path between "Order" and "Chaos", and then eventually learning how to f**k the lobster. Yes, there is suffering in Williams' book but, far far more importantly, there is empathy.
As is apparent from the title, the author has an autistic son (and is later diagnosed with cerebral palsey). Williams' himself has employment difficulties, bipolar disorder, and a broken relationship. What elevates this book is that none of those cliches properly summarise the story. This book is a deeply personal experience, there is no guide to the reader about how they should apply the author's situation to their own. While that may appear unhelpful, it drives home that labels are never truly adequate. 12 Rules for life do not suffice, when your child has at least 11,000 running through their brain.
There is no easy or final victories in this story. But there are moments of joy. Competing for dominance feels silly after reading this book.
Oh, and this book is much more precise in what it says.
This isn't a book about how to tidy your room before criticising anyone else, walking the path between "Order" and "Chaos", and then eventually learning how to f**k the lobster. Yes, there is suffering in Williams' book but, far far more importantly, there is empathy.
As is apparent from the title, the author has an autistic son (and is later diagnosed with cerebral palsey). Williams' himself has employment difficulties, bipolar disorder, and a broken relationship. What elevates this book is that none of those cliches properly summarise the story. This book is a deeply personal experience, there is no guide to the reader about how they should apply the author's situation to their own. While that may appear unhelpful, it drives home that labels are never truly adequate. 12 Rules for life do not suffice, when your child has at least 11,000 running through their brain.
There is no easy or final victories in this story. But there are moments of joy. Competing for dominance feels silly after reading this book.
Oh, and this book is much more precise in what it says.
September 27, 2020
This book was not what I expected. It was the kind of book that I am grateful for and feel lucky to have discovered. John Williams was incredibly vulnerable with his own story as well as his son's. He was respectful, loving, funny, and relatable. The part where he talks about not being concerned with seeing another doctor or therapist but really just wanting to see a psychic (pg. 198) is exactly what I have said over and over. I just wish that I could see into the future and know that everything is going to be ok. I know the speech therapy and OT and learning support will happen no matter what and we will be successful (whatever that means), but in the end what I really want to know is will he be happy? Will everything be ok? Will he be ok? But that brings me to another favorite part (pg. 219) where he says: "But there was a realization that I had far more control on the outcome of all this than I'd thought up to that point. As parents, we make the weather for our children. We make the weather. And if I had failed to find the joy in any of it, how on earth could I ever expect The Boy to?"
January 30, 2018
An amazing read
I could not put this book down. A beautiful, hilarious, poignant reflection on parenthood, autism, and the very real human struggle to understand each child as an individual in a modern society that caters to the masses.
The authors self awareness is exceptional, and leads in no small way to his ability to highlight his son's personality and individuality, within the subtext of his diagnostic label.
I laughed til I cried at times while reading this book, and could easily draw parallels with my own experiences as a parent, irrespective of diagnoses or lack thereof..
A must-read for any parent brave enough to admit imperfection; and who strives to find beauty and amazement in their everyday struggle.
An excellent book, I look forward to more from John Williams.
I could not put this book down. A beautiful, hilarious, poignant reflection on parenthood, autism, and the very real human struggle to understand each child as an individual in a modern society that caters to the masses.
The authors self awareness is exceptional, and leads in no small way to his ability to highlight his son's personality and individuality, within the subtext of his diagnostic label.
I laughed til I cried at times while reading this book, and could easily draw parallels with my own experiences as a parent, irrespective of diagnoses or lack thereof..
A must-read for any parent brave enough to admit imperfection; and who strives to find beauty and amazement in their everyday struggle.
An excellent book, I look forward to more from John Williams.
July 21, 2017
I liked reading about an autistic person who doesn't fit the usual stereotypes. However I question the author's decision to refer to his son as The Boy throughout. I know it's what his son wanted to be called in the book but I found it unnecessarily distracting. Also, the parts where he addresses his son directly (the bits in italics) were overly sentimental and unnecessary. But while the author didn't mind making these frequent sickening asides ("Oh son, what a fine man you're growing up to be" for example), anytime he said anything insightful in the main prose, he immediately disarmed it by making weak jokes. The writing throughout annoyed me for these reasons.
March 15, 2018
Rollercoaster of a ride!!
This is one of the best books I've read in a very very long time. This was written so beautifully, poignant and honest. I laughed out loud and cried silently.....such a moving brilliant book, I shall be recommending to anyone who will listen.
Having a mildly autistic daughter myself, I recognised myself and my daughter in so much of this book, at points it was so close to the bone it was scary. I can't praise the author enough for the way he brought the story together, never have I felt so many conflicting emotions in one book and I've read A LOT of books. Loved every second of it. Thank you for this wonderful piece of literature.
This is one of the best books I've read in a very very long time. This was written so beautifully, poignant and honest. I laughed out loud and cried silently.....such a moving brilliant book, I shall be recommending to anyone who will listen.
Having a mildly autistic daughter myself, I recognised myself and my daughter in so much of this book, at points it was so close to the bone it was scary. I can't praise the author enough for the way he brought the story together, never have I felt so many conflicting emotions in one book and I've read A LOT of books. Loved every second of it. Thank you for this wonderful piece of literature.
August 19, 2018
Brilliant. An honest and personal account. As a teacher in a special school I have worked with so many families with similar experiences and I have the utmost respect for them. Even so this book reminds you of exactly what it's like to live this 24 hours a day and the fights that just never end...school...health....behaviour....mental health...support...families...it never seems to end and it shouldn't be that way. I think ALL teachers should read this and especially in mainstream schools to get a small insight and some empathy. The love John has for the Boy is beautiful and I just loved reading their story.
August 23, 2022
I'm always one for an insight into Autism and this one offers one, but also doesn't. It offers an insight into a child who happens to have Autism, fitting somewhere on a very wide spectrum. John Williams manages to fill the pages with plenty of laughs, impressive honesty and most importantly love. This was a great read and I would definitely recommend! He shares so much of their lives which most can relate to, some, including myself, on a personal level. It effectively points out the challenges and the successes of being a parent to a child who is trying to understand and navigate the world around them.
December 20, 2025
Aspects of the book have not aged particularly well but he did address that at the end with good foresight. Some nice stories and insights. I listened to the audiobook and got a bit annoyed by the way the narrator seemed to be delivering so many passages as if they were very profound and philosophical but was trying not to judge it too much on that as wasn’t sure if this is actually how the author had intended it. Then I checked who the narrator was and realised it was actually the author, so that has brought this down a star!
August 17, 2018
Amazing book
I devoured this book in one sitting. It's funny, truthful and delivers inspiration and hope. I found myself laughing one minute, crying the next, feeling empathy and anger as the system repeatedly fails them, but the authors stoicism shines through and he gives excellent advice, regardless of whether your child has autism or not, you as a parent "set the weather", I will always remember and live by this statement.
I devoured this book in one sitting. It's funny, truthful and delivers inspiration and hope. I found myself laughing one minute, crying the next, feeling empathy and anger as the system repeatedly fails them, but the authors stoicism shines through and he gives excellent advice, regardless of whether your child has autism or not, you as a parent "set the weather", I will always remember and live by this statement.
January 4, 2019
So glad I picked this book up. A hilarious, moving and poignant reflection on parenthood and autism. A book filled with honesty. I was especially interesting to read about an autistic person who doesn't fit the usual symptoms or stereotypes. The type usual films or tv don't like to show. I think it is an important read for understanding a different side to autism and a parent raising an autistic child. I will now definitely be going on to read more on John's blog.
September 6, 2020
What a little gem. It's no wonder John Williams is a comic because he's great at telling a story and knowing exactly when to make you laugh. This book doesn't sugarcoat or gloss over the hard bits of John's life with his son, but it does always return to optimism.
His attention to the little details really made this book for me. I particularly liked the Power Ranger sellotaped to the Christmas tree.
His attention to the little details really made this book for me. I particularly liked the Power Ranger sellotaped to the Christmas tree.
August 13, 2020
I loved this book. There are so many parts of this book every parent can relate to. There are parts of this book which made me laugh out loud, there are parts of this book full of joy. There is no self pity, this is a book full of hope and absolute love. I adore the way this father talks about his incredible yet challenging experience of parenting.
July 27, 2021
This book was rather enjoyable, i would give it a 3.5 but you cant do halfs and it doesnt quit get a 4. This book is about a boy who happens to have autism and the first 13 years or so of his life and how his parents struggled with the effects caused by autism. I would definitely recommend this book!
August 1, 2019
What a bitter sweet book!
The author has written it in a way that makes it so easy and yet so difficult (sad) to read about the school system, hospitals, parenting, etc.
I hope more people can read this book and become more aware of autism.
The author has written it in a way that makes it so easy and yet so difficult (sad) to read about the school system, hospitals, parenting, etc.
I hope more people can read this book and become more aware of autism.
September 3, 2019
Lovely book and a great I sight into just general parenting as well as unique and ordinary difficulties.
The book has some good humour and also very heartfelt sad moments.
A nice random surprise of a read passed to me by a friend.
Thank you Maple.
The book has some good humour and also very heartfelt sad moments.
A nice random surprise of a read passed to me by a friend.
Thank you Maple.
January 12, 2023
I really enjoyed this book as it gave the view of living with an autistic child from the dad’s perspective. Made me laugh, cry and feel angry for them with the support not being given by schools.
Would recommend to anyone who is a parent of someone with autism
Would recommend to anyone who is a parent of someone with autism
June 3, 2023
Had a feeling it would be a tough listen at the end of the introduction. Thankfully, this touching story of a dad just trying his best, is an emotional journey that I think most people need to either read or listen to.
It feels like it is becoming more relevant as time passes.
It feels like it is becoming more relevant as time passes.
August 2, 2017
Well written, personal and honest.
September 10, 2017
Brilliant. Not a book about autism. its a story about one regular guy and his son and their journey.
November 2, 2017
Heartfelt book that gave me a greater understanding of a condition I know little about whilst I felt part of a loving bond between father and son.
February 6, 2018
Funny, engaging and honest
I loved this book, it really was a funny and honest story, I couldn't put it down. Would recommend it for all parents!
I loved this book, it really was a funny and honest story, I couldn't put it down. Would recommend it for all parents!
February 12, 2018
A funny honest account of an autistic boy and his father.
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