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Just Show Up: The Dance of Walking through Suffering Together
As Kara Tippetts walked the road of cancer, she discovered an astounding depth of relationship with women who wanted to walk with her. Learning to receive and be vulnerable was a journey for Kara, just as a willingness to be aware and sometimes uncomfortable has been a journey for her friends. But along the way, Kara and her community discovered the gift of silence, the art of receiving, and the beauty of just showing up.
192 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 1, 2015
228 people are currently reading
1795 people want to read
About the author
Kara Tippetts
4 books36 followersThe late Kara Tippetts was the author of The Hardest Peace and blogged faithfully at mundanefaithfulness.com. Cancer was only a part of Kara’s story. Her real fight was to truly live while facing a crushing reality. Since her death in March 2015, her husband, Jason, is parenting their four children and leading the church they founded in Colorado Springs, Colorado.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 215 reviews
January 27, 2016
Hated this; it's one of the few books I couldn't finish. I was excited with the book's tag line since I would like to learn how to be better with walking through suffering with my friends. Instead of a deeply thoughtful, poignant guidebook to grief (a la Lewis' "A Grief Observed") this was drippy sentiment and badly written prose. Swinging wildly between worshipful rapture of the dying beloved and overwrought guilt at not doing/being better, the only thing worse than the tone is the eye-roll inducing overuse of Christian hipster buzzwords like community and big love. And don't even get me started on the stupid "rough draft" intros or--my biggest pet peeve of all--using "hard" as a noun.
November 18, 2024
Beautiful encouraging words of women living like Christ. Nothing earth shattering but their glimpses into walking down the road with a friend give so many guys tidbits on how you could do the same. I love to help but I am very afraid to offer the wrong help. I feel encouraged by this book to get out there and try again with my heart on the right place and a prayer to try again. Short and very sweet.
December 21, 2015
I wanted to love this book and there were parts of it that were helpful but overall, it felt like a lot of repetitive rambling.
December 18, 2016
I am of 2 minds about this book: I really liked the story of friendship and love during Kara's last days, this story of friends finding ways to love her and her family through hard times as she finally succumbs to cancer; but another part of me absolutely could not stand some of the writing, especially the use of 'hard' as a noun (as in "walking through hard"). I guess this must be a convention, a shorthand among their group, but it comes off as too...pretentious? affected? It just got annoying and detracted from the message after a while. The message is the heart of this quick read - showing up, with whatever you are able to bring - be it emotional support, a meal, childcare, laundry skills - is the most visible way to demonstrate God's love in action. I know that the love and support of my community helped immensely during my teenage daughter's fight for her life as she battled cancer for nearly four years. I do know that God's hand is shown in so many ways - it's not an accident that I finished this the day before the 9th anniversary of her death.
Quotes to remember:
I would choose you all over again...you've changed my life and the journey together has changed my life...People are missing out when they don't enter the lives of those around them.
Comfort in. Dump out. [a great way to explain how to talk to those in a crisis - place the person in the center of concentric circles, and then fill each ring with those closest (immediate family, extended family and friends, acquaintances, etc). Once you decide where you are, you comfort those closer in the circle and can 'dump' / vent to those further out]
Most of the time our loved ones are not asking for solutions to their troubles. Often they just want someone to listen or to pray.
This journey might harbor the lowest of the lows at times and I might not understand all of God's plans while I'm on this earth, but I have no doubt He is with us in it. I feel Him even when I can't explain Him. With Kara's suffering, we've been given a gift of a long goodbye. It's both a height and depth mixed into one. We're thankful for every moment with her. We'll take every minute she's got. Yet it's so painful to see her suffer...Saying goodbye is hard, but saying it over the course of months, years even, is a path littered with potential landmines. If showing up is a dance, then a long goodbye is like a slow dance with a partner who easily steps on toes. There are so many opportunities for us to make mistakes, yet also so many opportunities to grab and hold on to.
It's the story of suffering being redeemed, of God showing up in the midst of community here on earth.
Quotes to remember:
I would choose you all over again...you've changed my life and the journey together has changed my life...People are missing out when they don't enter the lives of those around them.
Comfort in. Dump out. [a great way to explain how to talk to those in a crisis - place the person in the center of concentric circles, and then fill each ring with those closest (immediate family, extended family and friends, acquaintances, etc). Once you decide where you are, you comfort those closer in the circle and can 'dump' / vent to those further out]
Most of the time our loved ones are not asking for solutions to their troubles. Often they just want someone to listen or to pray.
This journey might harbor the lowest of the lows at times and I might not understand all of God's plans while I'm on this earth, but I have no doubt He is with us in it. I feel Him even when I can't explain Him. With Kara's suffering, we've been given a gift of a long goodbye. It's both a height and depth mixed into one. We're thankful for every moment with her. We'll take every minute she's got. Yet it's so painful to see her suffer...Saying goodbye is hard, but saying it over the course of months, years even, is a path littered with potential landmines. If showing up is a dance, then a long goodbye is like a slow dance with a partner who easily steps on toes. There are so many opportunities for us to make mistakes, yet also so many opportunities to grab and hold on to.
It's the story of suffering being redeemed, of God showing up in the midst of community here on earth.
March 4, 2016
Just Show Up should be mandatory reading for everyone 18 years old and older.
We are all going to face "the big hard," as authors Kara Tippets and Jill Buteyn describe suffering that takes us out at the knees. Kara Tippets, who went home to Jesus on March 22, 2015, as mentioned early on in the book, faced a long battle with breast cancer, but completed her contribution to the book before her death. Jill Buteyn "showed up" during this time -- and learned how to keep showing up. What they share will help others know how to love ... how to "invade each other in love and become witnesses to the truth that trials and sickness and pain are not the whole story." (Quote by Kara Tippets.)
As Jill Buteyn said: "Life isn't Pinterest, is it?"
Just Show Up takes is past the perfection of our Pinterest-y lives into the realities of the hard stuff: sickness, grief, loneliness, hurt ... and teaches us through real life experience how to show up for others who are hurting.
"Showing a person they matter in the midst of their suffering is a gift you can give." (Quote by Jill Buteyn)
This book is a keeper ... it's also a book to be shared with others.
We are all going to face "the big hard," as authors Kara Tippets and Jill Buteyn describe suffering that takes us out at the knees. Kara Tippets, who went home to Jesus on March 22, 2015, as mentioned early on in the book, faced a long battle with breast cancer, but completed her contribution to the book before her death. Jill Buteyn "showed up" during this time -- and learned how to keep showing up. What they share will help others know how to love ... how to "invade each other in love and become witnesses to the truth that trials and sickness and pain are not the whole story." (Quote by Kara Tippets.)
As Jill Buteyn said: "Life isn't Pinterest, is it?"
Just Show Up takes is past the perfection of our Pinterest-y lives into the realities of the hard stuff: sickness, grief, loneliness, hurt ... and teaches us through real life experience how to show up for others who are hurting.
"Showing a person they matter in the midst of their suffering is a gift you can give." (Quote by Jill Buteyn)
This book is a keeper ... it's also a book to be shared with others.
March 18, 2024
This has been on my “to be read” list for awhile. Timely listen right now as a few friends are experiencing and walking through suffering with their loved ones. I posted a few tidbits below for me to cogitate on and remember. ⤵️
“My story is one that has been shattered into a million pieces, but each piece is known and loved.”
Showing up for another says “I see you. Your pain is known. And though I cannot make it better, I’m here.” and that’s what matters.
Showing up for another, extending yourself for another, is always costly. Always.
Showing up is not a new concept, but sometimes it feels that way. Something in our culture has told us to pull back; to protect ourselves from hurt, from people, from entering in with one another. And there’s a reason for that. Showing up can get us hurt in the biggest ways. People disappoint and wound us…
God is in the picture and it’s all about Him. How does He want me to show up? What’s my role according to Him? Will I accept the role God has asked of me, even when it’s not the one I wanted?
When we step out in the middle of our fear, God meets us there.
People are missing out when they don’t enter the lives of those around them.
1/ Who do you know that is currently suffering and you want or need to show up for?
2/ With their face in mind – what fears or anxieties do you have in showing up for them?
“Will people understand me questioning God, yet trusting Him at the same time?”
Specifics make all the difference in showing up for someone.
The beauty in offering a specific help, instead of a broad one, is that we get to help within our gifting.
Many times in walking with others through trials and suffering, after you’ve made a choice, you won’t know if you made the right one. Many times the answers won’t be clear cut.
Pray for wisdom. Seek guidance. And at times, even with the best of intentions, mistakes will be made. That’s just the nature of this dance.
You’ll need to have grace for and with each other. Lots and lots of it. Grace is the glue that holds relationships together as we walk through suffering with one another.
It’s okay not to have perfect words.
Use this as a general rule when dealing with suffering:
Think of the person’s proximity to the “middle circle” and if they are closer in than you, use comfort phrases. No dumping in about what you’re feeling. When you need to express you’re wounding and hurt, turn to people who are in a ring farther out than you are and express yourself there.
We don’t have to barge in and ask hard questions in our attempts to say something. Curiosity is different from caring.
Curiosity wants to know what’s going on. Caring wants the person to know they’re not forgotten.
If we wait for a time without hardship before engaging with others, we may never form relationships. Whether you’re entering someone’s life before, during, or after suffering, it’s never too late or too early to jump in.
Offering specifics not only gives us the opportunity to serve in an area where we’re gifted in, but also allows people to begin to accept help more easily.
When relationships change because of hardship, please don’t discount what you had. It’s not because of something you did or didn’t do, it’s simply the nature of suffering. It takes things that were previously beautiful and tries to taint them. Don’t let it.
Heartbreak and beauty intermingled. Those two words shouldn’t go together, but somehow, in this journey? They do. Somehow grace rises out of the ashes.
The desire to fix in a society that tells us to constantly do is hard to ignore.
Suffering is not the absence of God’s goodness.
The world continues to flow around us during suffering, and we’re dragged along with it, trying to figure out how to keep doing normal when life feels anything but.
Saying goodbye is hard, but saying it over the course of months, years even, is a path littered with potential land mines. There are so many opportunities for us to make mistakes, and yet so many moments to grab and hold on to.
Showing a person they matter in the midst of their suffering is a gift you can give.
Cry and weep and mourn. The sadness is just as important as the celebrating.
“It should not have taken cancer to cause me to abound in more and more love, but that is what Jesus chose to use to prompt my heart to extend the borders of me, to love my people, with more love than I could have otherwise known.”
Speak words. Write them down. Text them. To let the loss pass and not honor it in someway with words is to let silence have the last word.
God is the whole of the comfort and we, as mothers, are just tools. Privileged to be an extension of the community He’s planned for us to be.
I am willing. I am here. God will meet me here.
“My story is one that has been shattered into a million pieces, but each piece is known and loved.”
Showing up for another says “I see you. Your pain is known. And though I cannot make it better, I’m here.” and that’s what matters.
Showing up for another, extending yourself for another, is always costly. Always.
Showing up is not a new concept, but sometimes it feels that way. Something in our culture has told us to pull back; to protect ourselves from hurt, from people, from entering in with one another. And there’s a reason for that. Showing up can get us hurt in the biggest ways. People disappoint and wound us…
God is in the picture and it’s all about Him. How does He want me to show up? What’s my role according to Him? Will I accept the role God has asked of me, even when it’s not the one I wanted?
When we step out in the middle of our fear, God meets us there.
People are missing out when they don’t enter the lives of those around them.
1/ Who do you know that is currently suffering and you want or need to show up for?
2/ With their face in mind – what fears or anxieties do you have in showing up for them?
“Will people understand me questioning God, yet trusting Him at the same time?”
Specifics make all the difference in showing up for someone.
The beauty in offering a specific help, instead of a broad one, is that we get to help within our gifting.
Many times in walking with others through trials and suffering, after you’ve made a choice, you won’t know if you made the right one. Many times the answers won’t be clear cut.
Pray for wisdom. Seek guidance. And at times, even with the best of intentions, mistakes will be made. That’s just the nature of this dance.
You’ll need to have grace for and with each other. Lots and lots of it. Grace is the glue that holds relationships together as we walk through suffering with one another.
It’s okay not to have perfect words.
Use this as a general rule when dealing with suffering:
Think of the person’s proximity to the “middle circle” and if they are closer in than you, use comfort phrases. No dumping in about what you’re feeling. When you need to express you’re wounding and hurt, turn to people who are in a ring farther out than you are and express yourself there.
We don’t have to barge in and ask hard questions in our attempts to say something. Curiosity is different from caring.
Curiosity wants to know what’s going on. Caring wants the person to know they’re not forgotten.
If we wait for a time without hardship before engaging with others, we may never form relationships. Whether you’re entering someone’s life before, during, or after suffering, it’s never too late or too early to jump in.
Offering specifics not only gives us the opportunity to serve in an area where we’re gifted in, but also allows people to begin to accept help more easily.
When relationships change because of hardship, please don’t discount what you had. It’s not because of something you did or didn’t do, it’s simply the nature of suffering. It takes things that were previously beautiful and tries to taint them. Don’t let it.
Heartbreak and beauty intermingled. Those two words shouldn’t go together, but somehow, in this journey? They do. Somehow grace rises out of the ashes.
The desire to fix in a society that tells us to constantly do is hard to ignore.
Suffering is not the absence of God’s goodness.
The world continues to flow around us during suffering, and we’re dragged along with it, trying to figure out how to keep doing normal when life feels anything but.
Saying goodbye is hard, but saying it over the course of months, years even, is a path littered with potential land mines. There are so many opportunities for us to make mistakes, and yet so many moments to grab and hold on to.
Showing a person they matter in the midst of their suffering is a gift you can give.
Cry and weep and mourn. The sadness is just as important as the celebrating.
“It should not have taken cancer to cause me to abound in more and more love, but that is what Jesus chose to use to prompt my heart to extend the borders of me, to love my people, with more love than I could have otherwise known.”
Speak words. Write them down. Text them. To let the loss pass and not honor it in someway with words is to let silence have the last word.
God is the whole of the comfort and we, as mothers, are just tools. Privileged to be an extension of the community He’s planned for us to be.
I am willing. I am here. God will meet me here.
August 1, 2018
I needed the message of this book. My life is at a point were friends are going through hard times- cancer, MS, loss of child, miscarriage, etc. I needed the words of this book, that meting said, it was very repetitive and I feel like I got most of the thoughts int he first few chapters.
May 18, 2021
I read this several years ago but hadn't added it to my lists. I recommend this for anyone with a loved one going through something hard. Especially if, like me, you struggle with knowing the right things to say or do.
July 14, 2023
Heartbreaking, but... also encouraging. <3
A book that was honest about suffering. Written by a wife/mother dying of cancer, and a close friend. About the best ways to show up for someone suffering. And how to accept people showing up, if you're the one suffering. Also including mistakes they both made. <3
Recommended. <3
A book that was honest about suffering. Written by a wife/mother dying of cancer, and a close friend. About the best ways to show up for someone suffering. And how to accept people showing up, if you're the one suffering. Also including mistakes they both made. <3
Recommended. <3
October 19, 2015
I was one of the many touched by Kara Tippett’s faith journey—I think especially because her life and words sparked sweet reminders of my own best friend, who died of breast cancer several years back. I was privileged to walk by my friend’s side during her vicious battle against cancer.
Those last months of our twenty year friendship changed me forever. So I’m a witness to the power of just showing up in a suffering friend’s life and how that step of faith brings blessing after blessing.
The book Just Show Up shares Kara’s journey of suffering from two perspectives: Kara’s and her friend Jill’s. Jill details how showing up for Kara changed and challenged her, along with some practical advice for those who find themselves faced with a similar privilege.
Just Show Up urges us to follow Kara Tippett’s legacy. May we abound in big love and be ever grateful for beautiful, messy life.
Those last months of our twenty year friendship changed me forever. So I’m a witness to the power of just showing up in a suffering friend’s life and how that step of faith brings blessing after blessing.
The book Just Show Up shares Kara’s journey of suffering from two perspectives: Kara’s and her friend Jill’s. Jill details how showing up for Kara changed and challenged her, along with some practical advice for those who find themselves faced with a similar privilege.
Just Show Up urges us to follow Kara Tippett’s legacy. May we abound in big love and be ever grateful for beautiful, messy life.
February 2, 2016
Kara, who passed away earlier this year from cancer, wrote a book with her friend Jill about what it means to show up and be there for a friend who is suffering. The women take turns telling their story from their own perspective. The style of writing is simple, and feels like a conversation with two friends. Each perspective gives practical and faith filled advice to those who want to help their friends and just don't know how.
The writing was real, raw, emotional, and profound. It's been a long time since I've read a book that spoke to me so well. It showcases what true friendship, community, and love should be about. The authors mention "big love" several times throughout the book. The friendship between these two was all about love, real love. I feel blessed to have read this book.
I received this book free of charge from Litfuse Publicity in exchange for my honest review.
The writing was real, raw, emotional, and profound. It's been a long time since I've read a book that spoke to me so well. It showcases what true friendship, community, and love should be about. The authors mention "big love" several times throughout the book. The friendship between these two was all about love, real love. I feel blessed to have read this book.
I received this book free of charge from Litfuse Publicity in exchange for my honest review.
April 2, 2018
I needed this book. I was looking for something that would provide some guidance on meeting the needs of a loved one with terminal cancer and this book not only gave good advice on how to provide assistance but also dealt with many of those thoughts and feelings that occur when you are in the midst of the suffering. I'm in a similar situation as Jill Lynn Buteyn and my relationship with my person is similar to her relationship with Kara. I heard my voice and my person's voice many times while reading this book. I'm grateful for it.
If you are in the midst of suffering with a close friend, I cannot recommend this book enough.
If you are in the midst of suffering with a close friend, I cannot recommend this book enough.
August 3, 2016
If I could give this book more stars, I would. This book touched my heart, my soul. I walked the journey of breast cancer with my beloved sister and this book sounded exactly like our journey. I bought six copies and gave them to those who "showed up" for me, my sister, my family. I hope Kara and my sister are smiling.
July 14, 2023
Amazing heartfelt and honest story about walking through suffering together with a friend or loved one and how to “show up” physically and mentally!
Filled with practical examples and written from the perspective of the one who is suffering and the friend who is showing up! Must read! Recommend for all counselors, pastors and everyone who will ever need to or is willing to “show up”.
Filled with practical examples and written from the perspective of the one who is suffering and the friend who is showing up! Must read! Recommend for all counselors, pastors and everyone who will ever need to or is willing to “show up”.
June 15, 2018
The author invites readers to embrace the pain, awkwardness, and blessing of walking with someone through a time of suffering. She shares extensively from her own journey, including illustrations of helpful ways to reach out to those in need, questions to ponder, faux pas from her own and others’ experiences, and an ample dose of encouragement to “just show up.”
Here are a few of my favorite quotes:
“We put so much pressure on ourselves to do everything right that many of us decide it’s too hard to even attempt entering into someone else’s suffering. The beauty in showing up, in choosing to enter the dance even though you might not know the steps, is that God creates something beautiful from our attempts.”
“Grace is the glue that holds relationships together as we walk through suffering with one another.”
“Curiosity wants to know what’s going on. Caring wants the person to know they’re not forgotten. Details aren’t important.”
“I do not feel like I have the courage for this journey, but I have Jesus – and he will provide.”
Here are a few of my favorite quotes:
“We put so much pressure on ourselves to do everything right that many of us decide it’s too hard to even attempt entering into someone else’s suffering. The beauty in showing up, in choosing to enter the dance even though you might not know the steps, is that God creates something beautiful from our attempts.”
“Grace is the glue that holds relationships together as we walk through suffering with one another.”
“Curiosity wants to know what’s going on. Caring wants the person to know they’re not forgotten. Details aren’t important.”
“I do not feel like I have the courage for this journey, but I have Jesus – and he will provide.”
June 22, 2017
Highly recommend this book to everyone, for we all know someone who is suffering. For those who are suffering and for those who suffer with them this is a must read. It offers advice on how to help and how to let others help you. What a blessing we have when we have friends who just show up.
August 2, 2020
Kara Tippetts died of breast cancer, but she and her friend wrote this book to encourage us all to be there for each other through the hard times. The first step is to just show up and go from there. It's a good reminder for us all.
June 25, 2022
Audiobook. Written by 2 christian friends. One is dying of cancer. This was a challenging and helpful book for my personality: introverted- overthinking- comfort seeker. Practical ways of serving people who are suffering.
August 2, 2018
A must read for anybody with friends.
November 17, 2021
A beautiful story of showing up and building community around a dying friend. Was it hard? Yes. Was it worth it? Definitely yes!
January 26, 2024
No one should do life alone. Not in the happy seasons & definitely not in the tough, grief filled seasons. This book will make you cry. But it will also make your heart longing for the Christian community that these authors depict so well. Such a fantastic & quick read with wonderful reminders that this is not our home. The gift of eternity is awaiting & the Lord will be returning one day.
July 6, 2021
“Just Show Up” truly is the encouragement and reminders of His truth matched with applicable ways to come alongside those walking through suffering. Between the perspective of the one suffering and the one coming alongside, there are stories for everyone to glean from.
April 18, 2018
I loved the message this book shared and the simplicity of the concepts expressed--literally "just show up." I have a friend suffering from a terminal illness and have found it challenging to know exactly how to "show up" especially long distance. This book helped me gain insight and perspective to know how to do that better.
The beauty of this book though is that it applies to every friendship and hardship no matter how big or small. We as people, especially women, need our tribe to rely on. We need good friends and we need to be good friends. This book offers suggestions on how to be more present in people's lives and how to be open to other people entering our lives.
The beauty of this book though is that it applies to every friendship and hardship no matter how big or small. We as people, especially women, need our tribe to rely on. We need good friends and we need to be good friends. This book offers suggestions on how to be more present in people's lives and how to be open to other people entering our lives.
October 23, 2015
Showing up is not a new concept, but sometimes it feels that way. Something in our culture has told us to pull back, to protect ourselves from hurt, from people, from entering in with one another.
Depending on your personality type, this can be as easy as breathing or as difficult as pulling teeth. I am personally of the former. That being said, this book was very helpful to me because Jill Lynn Buteyn herself is the same way. However, because of Kara Tippetts engaging her in community, Jill has learned and embraces the lifestyle of showing up. If you are not familiar with Kara’s story, she just recently died of cancer but during her fight against cancer, she and her husband who is a pastor were gathered in community with their church in Colorado Springs. Along with the Tippetts and the community that has birthed from Kara’s suffering, there is something of beauty that will go on forever. The pain and suffering has been redeemed when there is a coming together.
Buteyn is the main contributor of each chapter and Kara offers a closing word filled with encouragement and strength. What you are witnessing is not a community but a purity of friendships that many of us long for. One of the strengths of this testimony of friendship is no matter what the pain; no pain is more painful than the next person’s battle. We all struggle with pain and dealing with pain.
Some deal with pain by isolating themselves or addictions but community is the better way but it is also the hard way. There is honesty within these pages that will grip your heart and long to be in the dance.
Quotes that I found inspiring were.
Fear is a lonely companion. Look what I would have missed had I let those whispers of doubts win. I would have been a lonely existence if I had hid myself away, worrying about saying or doing the wrong thing, or if I had held back because Kara and I didn’t have a friendship that spanned year.
Let’s give our people the room for this to be their story. We may have similarities in our stories, but this trial is unique to them. Saying something like “I know how you feel” or “I’ve been through something similar” makes it about us. Saying “I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine how hard this is for you” keeps the focus on them.
Curiosity is different from caring. Curiosity wants to know what’s going. Caring wants the person to know they’re not forgotten.
If you are involved in ministry of care, this would be a helpful resource and if you want to witness a community (friendships) that redeems the pain and suffering, you will long to be in the dance.
A Special Thank You to David C. Cook and Netgalley for the ARC and the opportunity to post an honest review.
Depending on your personality type, this can be as easy as breathing or as difficult as pulling teeth. I am personally of the former. That being said, this book was very helpful to me because Jill Lynn Buteyn herself is the same way. However, because of Kara Tippetts engaging her in community, Jill has learned and embraces the lifestyle of showing up. If you are not familiar with Kara’s story, she just recently died of cancer but during her fight against cancer, she and her husband who is a pastor were gathered in community with their church in Colorado Springs. Along with the Tippetts and the community that has birthed from Kara’s suffering, there is something of beauty that will go on forever. The pain and suffering has been redeemed when there is a coming together.
Buteyn is the main contributor of each chapter and Kara offers a closing word filled with encouragement and strength. What you are witnessing is not a community but a purity of friendships that many of us long for. One of the strengths of this testimony of friendship is no matter what the pain; no pain is more painful than the next person’s battle. We all struggle with pain and dealing with pain.
Some deal with pain by isolating themselves or addictions but community is the better way but it is also the hard way. There is honesty within these pages that will grip your heart and long to be in the dance.
Quotes that I found inspiring were.
Fear is a lonely companion. Look what I would have missed had I let those whispers of doubts win. I would have been a lonely existence if I had hid myself away, worrying about saying or doing the wrong thing, or if I had held back because Kara and I didn’t have a friendship that spanned year.
Let’s give our people the room for this to be their story. We may have similarities in our stories, but this trial is unique to them. Saying something like “I know how you feel” or “I’ve been through something similar” makes it about us. Saying “I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine how hard this is for you” keeps the focus on them.
Curiosity is different from caring. Curiosity wants to know what’s going. Caring wants the person to know they’re not forgotten.
If you are involved in ministry of care, this would be a helpful resource and if you want to witness a community (friendships) that redeems the pain and suffering, you will long to be in the dance.
A Special Thank You to David C. Cook and Netgalley for the ARC and the opportunity to post an honest review.
October 1, 2015
“Most often it’s those who come without answers or agendas who are the most helpful.”
Just. Show. Up.
Sometimes we just need someone to “be”. We don’t need them to solve our problems. We don’t need them to out “do” someone else. We just need THEM.
I started reading Just Show Up with a lump in my throat. I knew it was about cancer and friendship–and I wasn’t sure I could handle the emotion of it. But, I had promised Jill I would read her special gift–the book she wrote with her now Heavenly sister-friend. So, I dove in, ready for whatever she had in store for me.
I wrote down some quotes as I read:
“Showing up in suffering benefits both sides, and it has to be entered in from both sides.”
“Fear is a lonely companion.”
“Grace is the glue that holds relationships together as we walk through suffering with one another.”
I had a friend suffer through an agonizing battle with cancer. She finally won the battle when she went home with her Savior. Guilt took root inside my heart during her fight as I felt like I wasn’t “showing up” the way I thought I was supposed to. I didn’t feel I gave her what she needed from me. I wasn’t “that” person. But, after allowing the words in Just Show Up to sink in–really SINK IN–I realized I did show up. I showed up in the way I was gifted. I showed up in the way I knew how. I did what I do well. And, looking back, I realize that she had a community of women surrounding her. Each of those women had a special gift, a way they showed up. Together, we walked the journey with her.
Just Show Up speaks from the heart of Kara Tippetts as she goes through her hard journey and from the hearts of the women who came around her to support her and each other as they worked toward one purpose–Showing Up. Jill gives practical advice on what to say and what not to say when people are hurting as well as how to do what you do well and allow others to do their “thing”.
Just when I thought my heart couldn’t take anymore, Jill would throw in little bits of humor. (I loved that by the way.) I totally could relate when she said, “I’m an introvert (text, don’t call) and I prefer to enjoy my misery alone.” GUILTY! Seriously though, it reminded me that we all deal with hurt and pain in different ways and we need to be open to it. God made us all unique for a reason!
I began the journey with Jill and Kara with a lump in my throat, cautious of where they were going to take me. I laughed here and there and (I have to admit) I cried in the end. This book was healing to my heart.
Just Show Up. It’s about Community. It’s about Friendship. It’s about women loving women. It’s about BEING.
(I was given a copy of Just Show Up for my honest review)
Just. Show. Up.
Sometimes we just need someone to “be”. We don’t need them to solve our problems. We don’t need them to out “do” someone else. We just need THEM.
I started reading Just Show Up with a lump in my throat. I knew it was about cancer and friendship–and I wasn’t sure I could handle the emotion of it. But, I had promised Jill I would read her special gift–the book she wrote with her now Heavenly sister-friend. So, I dove in, ready for whatever she had in store for me.
I wrote down some quotes as I read:
“Showing up in suffering benefits both sides, and it has to be entered in from both sides.”
“Fear is a lonely companion.”
“Grace is the glue that holds relationships together as we walk through suffering with one another.”
I had a friend suffer through an agonizing battle with cancer. She finally won the battle when she went home with her Savior. Guilt took root inside my heart during her fight as I felt like I wasn’t “showing up” the way I thought I was supposed to. I didn’t feel I gave her what she needed from me. I wasn’t “that” person. But, after allowing the words in Just Show Up to sink in–really SINK IN–I realized I did show up. I showed up in the way I was gifted. I showed up in the way I knew how. I did what I do well. And, looking back, I realize that she had a community of women surrounding her. Each of those women had a special gift, a way they showed up. Together, we walked the journey with her.
Just Show Up speaks from the heart of Kara Tippetts as she goes through her hard journey and from the hearts of the women who came around her to support her and each other as they worked toward one purpose–Showing Up. Jill gives practical advice on what to say and what not to say when people are hurting as well as how to do what you do well and allow others to do their “thing”.
Just when I thought my heart couldn’t take anymore, Jill would throw in little bits of humor. (I loved that by the way.) I totally could relate when she said, “I’m an introvert (text, don’t call) and I prefer to enjoy my misery alone.” GUILTY! Seriously though, it reminded me that we all deal with hurt and pain in different ways and we need to be open to it. God made us all unique for a reason!
I began the journey with Jill and Kara with a lump in my throat, cautious of where they were going to take me. I laughed here and there and (I have to admit) I cried in the end. This book was healing to my heart.
Just Show Up. It’s about Community. It’s about Friendship. It’s about women loving women. It’s about BEING.
(I was given a copy of Just Show Up for my honest review)
February 7, 2016
Just Show Up by Kara Tippetts and Jill Lynn Buteyn is a beautiful book of friendship and community, laughter and tears, life and death. The book is mainly written by Jill but Kara writes two pages at the end of each chapter. There are also two questions at the end of each chapter designed to make the reader think. It is a bitter sweet book but it is a work of great beauty.
This is Kara's second book. She is a young mum of four fighting cancer. She needs her friends around her to help with the mundane day to day things. Jill writes about how important it is, just to turn up and be there for your friend. Do not wait until you feel qualified to help or you will never do it. "God uses those of us who aren't qualified so that He is glorified. And when we show up, we are blessed." In our weakness we become strong by leaning on God.
The focus of Just Show Up is God. Kara in spite of her suffering still believes in the goodness of God. Many times she says "suffering is not the absence of God's goodness." Too many people question the goodness of God in hard times but God is good. He walks alongside us in our hardships.
Kara never loses sight of Jesus, saying "Jesus always shows up." For her, it is all about Jesus. "She (Kara) might state things are not well, but she always, always comes back to Jesus." Oh that we too would always live with our eyes fixed on Jesus.
God never meant us to do life in isolation. Kara believes in community and doing life together. Jill shows the reader what this community looks like. It is important to live with an eye on others and not on self. When people live like this, everyone pulls together and it is beautiful.
There is a chapter that discusses giving and receiving. It is so much easier to give than to receive but sometimes one just needs to admit that help is needed. It is humbling but in accepting help, the giver will be blessed.
Due to the nature of Kara's battle there is a chapter about heaven. One of her friends, Blythe "lives with an eternity mentality." Jill discusses what heaven will look like - the Bible tells us it is a place of no more suffering and no more tears. Kara and her family and friends are holding on to this promise.
I have read both of Kara's books back to back. They are both full of sound advice and Godly wisdom. They are not books about cancer. They are books about doing life while battling cancer. They are about loving well and loving big. They are about family and friends. And most importantly they are about God.
Download The Hardest Peace and Just Show Up today. Read about doing life and doing hard life in partnership with family, friends and God.
This is Kara's second book. She is a young mum of four fighting cancer. She needs her friends around her to help with the mundane day to day things. Jill writes about how important it is, just to turn up and be there for your friend. Do not wait until you feel qualified to help or you will never do it. "God uses those of us who aren't qualified so that He is glorified. And when we show up, we are blessed." In our weakness we become strong by leaning on God.
The focus of Just Show Up is God. Kara in spite of her suffering still believes in the goodness of God. Many times she says "suffering is not the absence of God's goodness." Too many people question the goodness of God in hard times but God is good. He walks alongside us in our hardships.
Kara never loses sight of Jesus, saying "Jesus always shows up." For her, it is all about Jesus. "She (Kara) might state things are not well, but she always, always comes back to Jesus." Oh that we too would always live with our eyes fixed on Jesus.
God never meant us to do life in isolation. Kara believes in community and doing life together. Jill shows the reader what this community looks like. It is important to live with an eye on others and not on self. When people live like this, everyone pulls together and it is beautiful.
There is a chapter that discusses giving and receiving. It is so much easier to give than to receive but sometimes one just needs to admit that help is needed. It is humbling but in accepting help, the giver will be blessed.
Due to the nature of Kara's battle there is a chapter about heaven. One of her friends, Blythe "lives with an eternity mentality." Jill discusses what heaven will look like - the Bible tells us it is a place of no more suffering and no more tears. Kara and her family and friends are holding on to this promise.
I have read both of Kara's books back to back. They are both full of sound advice and Godly wisdom. They are not books about cancer. They are books about doing life while battling cancer. They are about loving well and loving big. They are about family and friends. And most importantly they are about God.
Download The Hardest Peace and Just Show Up today. Read about doing life and doing hard life in partnership with family, friends and God.
October 8, 2015
Whether you yourself live with chronic/terminal illness or you just love someone who does, this book needs to be on your read-list ASAP.
Just Show Up is a beautifully written, heartfelt and practical look at walking through “hard” with a friend. Both Jill’s and Kara’s humor provides much needed levity in a book that begins “Hi. My name is Kara Tippetts, and I may not be alive when you read this book.” In fact, she isn’t – on earth, anyway. Kara won her hard-fought battle with breast cancer in March of this year (2015) and is now with Jesus. She completed her contributions to Just Show Up before her death, and her words carry the added weight of this poignancy, yes, but also reflect once more her delightful and grace-filled personality.
Jill's ability to admit and poke fun at her own fears and comfort zones gave me the freedom to rest in my introverting and acknowledge that growing friendship as an introvert in the middle of “hard” is indeed possible. And not even all that painful, according to Jill. Good news for introvert me. On the flip side of that coin… “The tough-love news is that introverting is not an excuse for avoiding community – although I have attempted to use it as one before.” Uhhh…yeah. Me too. So much easier just to read a book than to show up in the middle of someone else’s pain, isn’t it?
Another thing I loved so much about Just Show Up is how practical it is. We’re not just told to show up – we’re given hints on how to do that. This book is full of ideas that are relatively easy to implement – for you and the person you are serving. Things like putting a cooler on your friend’s front doorstep/porch so people can drop off meals without disrupting rest or family time. Pack an extra lunch for their child while you’re packing your own child’s lunch. And tons more! There’s also a great section about the Christian platitudes we need to stop using (seriously. If you can’t say something besides a platitude, don’t say anything at all.) and who to vent your feelings to versus who to comfort.
Now, I’m not gonna lie to you. Yes, I laughed while reading Just Show Up. But I also ugly-cried a few times. Like as soon as I started reading Kara’s introduction (I’ve already mentioned the first sentence). Every time I read Jill’s thoughts that begin her sections, the raw emotions and reactions she felt as she journeyed through “hard” with Kara, I ugly-cried. But oh my heart, it’s so worth it.
(I received a copy of this book in exchange for only my honest review.)
Just Show Up is a beautifully written, heartfelt and practical look at walking through “hard” with a friend. Both Jill’s and Kara’s humor provides much needed levity in a book that begins “Hi. My name is Kara Tippetts, and I may not be alive when you read this book.” In fact, she isn’t – on earth, anyway. Kara won her hard-fought battle with breast cancer in March of this year (2015) and is now with Jesus. She completed her contributions to Just Show Up before her death, and her words carry the added weight of this poignancy, yes, but also reflect once more her delightful and grace-filled personality.
Jill's ability to admit and poke fun at her own fears and comfort zones gave me the freedom to rest in my introverting and acknowledge that growing friendship as an introvert in the middle of “hard” is indeed possible. And not even all that painful, according to Jill. Good news for introvert me. On the flip side of that coin… “The tough-love news is that introverting is not an excuse for avoiding community – although I have attempted to use it as one before.” Uhhh…yeah. Me too. So much easier just to read a book than to show up in the middle of someone else’s pain, isn’t it?
Another thing I loved so much about Just Show Up is how practical it is. We’re not just told to show up – we’re given hints on how to do that. This book is full of ideas that are relatively easy to implement – for you and the person you are serving. Things like putting a cooler on your friend’s front doorstep/porch so people can drop off meals without disrupting rest or family time. Pack an extra lunch for their child while you’re packing your own child’s lunch. And tons more! There’s also a great section about the Christian platitudes we need to stop using (seriously. If you can’t say something besides a platitude, don’t say anything at all.) and who to vent your feelings to versus who to comfort.
Now, I’m not gonna lie to you. Yes, I laughed while reading Just Show Up. But I also ugly-cried a few times. Like as soon as I started reading Kara’s introduction (I’ve already mentioned the first sentence). Every time I read Jill’s thoughts that begin her sections, the raw emotions and reactions she felt as she journeyed through “hard” with Kara, I ugly-cried. But oh my heart, it’s so worth it.
(I received a copy of this book in exchange for only my honest review.)
October 7, 2015
About the Book:
Kara Tippetts’s story was not a story of disease, although she lost her battle with terminal cancer. It was not a story of saying goodbye, although she was intentional in her time with her husband and four children. Kara’s story was one of seeing God in the hard and in the good. It was one of finding grace in the everyday. And it was one of knowing “God with us” through fierce and beautiful friendship.
In Just Show Up, Kara and her close friend, Jill Lynn Buteyn, write about what friendship looks like in the midst of changing life seasons, loads of laundry, and even cancer. Whether you are eager to be present to someone going through a difficult time or simply want inspiration for pursuing friends in a new way, this eloquent and practical book explores the gift of silence, the art of receiving, and what it means to just show up.
My Review:
Suffering....
It hits us all at one time or another anywhere at anytime. Kara Tippetts story is not unheard of or not known. She was a beautiful young woman with a family that received ultimate healing when she returned to her Savior after a valiant fight with terminal cancer. She caused us to look at death differently, from Christ's point of view.
Is death fair? Is cancer fair? NO! It is a terrible disease that causes us all to question God and I believe it is purely from the devil, himself. Kara and her close friend Jill collaborated on this book and described how their friendship evolved because of this disease and ultimately Kara's death. If a loved one will allow you to be present while they are undergoing their crossing over to meet Jesus, you need to take them up on it.
It is a way for the love you share with that individual to grow even deeper and more long lasting. Join the two of these individuals as they navigate this tough road and show us what they learned especially through the tough days.
A very touching eloquent book written straight from the heart!
**Disclosure** This book was sent to me free of charge for my honest review from Litfuse.
Kara Tippetts’s story was not a story of disease, although she lost her battle with terminal cancer. It was not a story of saying goodbye, although she was intentional in her time with her husband and four children. Kara’s story was one of seeing God in the hard and in the good. It was one of finding grace in the everyday. And it was one of knowing “God with us” through fierce and beautiful friendship.
In Just Show Up, Kara and her close friend, Jill Lynn Buteyn, write about what friendship looks like in the midst of changing life seasons, loads of laundry, and even cancer. Whether you are eager to be present to someone going through a difficult time or simply want inspiration for pursuing friends in a new way, this eloquent and practical book explores the gift of silence, the art of receiving, and what it means to just show up.
My Review:
Suffering....
It hits us all at one time or another anywhere at anytime. Kara Tippetts story is not unheard of or not known. She was a beautiful young woman with a family that received ultimate healing when she returned to her Savior after a valiant fight with terminal cancer. She caused us to look at death differently, from Christ's point of view.
Is death fair? Is cancer fair? NO! It is a terrible disease that causes us all to question God and I believe it is purely from the devil, himself. Kara and her close friend Jill collaborated on this book and described how their friendship evolved because of this disease and ultimately Kara's death. If a loved one will allow you to be present while they are undergoing their crossing over to meet Jesus, you need to take them up on it.
It is a way for the love you share with that individual to grow even deeper and more long lasting. Join the two of these individuals as they navigate this tough road and show us what they learned especially through the tough days.
A very touching eloquent book written straight from the heart!
**Disclosure** This book was sent to me free of charge for my honest review from Litfuse.
January 21, 2016
I have nothing but praise for this book. I had not heard of this book before but I was sent a copy to review. This book is told from the perspective of Kara, a young wife and mother who has terminal cancer, and Jill, her friend who tells us her insights into what it is to just show up, or to be there when loved ones are going through “the hard”, which are the tough times none of us ask for or want but few of us never have to deal with. Jill, like so many of us, struggles with not knowing what to do or say for her friend as she walks through the hard, but she knows that she needs to see her friend through to the end. Her resolve, and the resolve of many other friends, gives support and peace to the family as they deal with cancer, family, funeral plans, hospice, and the very painful reality that Kara is not going to make it. The friends come together in a beautiful way to honor their friend by sharing her children as co-parents and promising to go from that day forward making sure that the children always feel loved and cared for. Kara tells us from her perspective how it feels to take a back seat to someone else when your child needs you, to not have enough energy to keep awake to finish a task, and to know that you are going to miss out on all of those milestones that are so dear to us all.
This book really resonated with me. Part of it could be that my husband has metastasized cancer and we’ve been walking that journey for 5 years now. But I felt nothing but admiration for those friends who so lovingly gave of themselves to comfort and support that family. This is a wonderful book for anyone, a cancer patient, a friend or relative, even folks who just want to know how to be supportive in the best way possible when someone is suffering for any reason. It gives very concrete ideas for how to deal with pain and painful subjects. I would rate this a 5 and then some!
This book really resonated with me. Part of it could be that my husband has metastasized cancer and we’ve been walking that journey for 5 years now. But I felt nothing but admiration for those friends who so lovingly gave of themselves to comfort and support that family. This is a wonderful book for anyone, a cancer patient, a friend or relative, even folks who just want to know how to be supportive in the best way possible when someone is suffering for any reason. It gives very concrete ideas for how to deal with pain and painful subjects. I would rate this a 5 and then some!
October 13, 2015
I struggle with how to help someone who is going through a time of difficulty. What do I do? What do I say? How do I not do or say thing wrong thing? How do I help and not hinder? How do I help and not make things more difficult?
I want to speak Jesus to them, to truly be His hands, His feet to my friends and neighbors who are in the hard places of life. I want to minister His grace and healing. But I’m clueless how.
The late Kara Tippetts and Jill Buteyn collaborated on a book, Just Show Up, that serves as a beacon of light to those who, like me, want to help but don’t know how.
The chapters are written by Jill with a small portion at the end of each on written by Kara. Kara’s portion ends with two questions designed to help you just show up. The chapters teach on the value of different ways we can show up and how we can be a gift to our suffering friends.
Can I say I enjoyed a book on suffering? I learned a lot from the book. I learned that it’s okay to sometimes tell friends, “Look, I know this is a hard place for you, so suppers is on me.” I learned I can do that from across state lines to across the country.
The book is written conversationally; it reads as if we’re sitting across the table sipping coffee and chatting with Jill and Kara. I love that.
There were a few times I didn’t fully agree with what was being taught. I think it is important to know your friends and what they would want/need.
How each of us will respond when either faced with our own hard or when a friend experiences hard in her life is different. We don’t and we won’t all respond the same, but we all have the same needs.
We all need friends to just show up.
I received a free copy of this book from Litfuse for the purpose of review. All opinions are my own.
I want to speak Jesus to them, to truly be His hands, His feet to my friends and neighbors who are in the hard places of life. I want to minister His grace and healing. But I’m clueless how.
The late Kara Tippetts and Jill Buteyn collaborated on a book, Just Show Up, that serves as a beacon of light to those who, like me, want to help but don’t know how.
The chapters are written by Jill with a small portion at the end of each on written by Kara. Kara’s portion ends with two questions designed to help you just show up. The chapters teach on the value of different ways we can show up and how we can be a gift to our suffering friends.
Can I say I enjoyed a book on suffering? I learned a lot from the book. I learned that it’s okay to sometimes tell friends, “Look, I know this is a hard place for you, so suppers is on me.” I learned I can do that from across state lines to across the country.
The book is written conversationally; it reads as if we’re sitting across the table sipping coffee and chatting with Jill and Kara. I love that.
There were a few times I didn’t fully agree with what was being taught. I think it is important to know your friends and what they would want/need.
How each of us will respond when either faced with our own hard or when a friend experiences hard in her life is different. We don’t and we won’t all respond the same, but we all have the same needs.
We all need friends to just show up.
I received a free copy of this book from Litfuse for the purpose of review. All opinions are my own.
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