What do you think?
Lack
In the quiet, lonely hours of the middle of the night, a woman scrolls social media on her phone. Babies are everywhere. All her friends seem to have one. Her sweet partner Dan is desperate to start a family. But she is full of doubt – how can she consider the enormity of new life when the world outside is burning?
Besides, there’s something wrong in her body. She can feel it. A pain. A constant dull ache she is too frightened to investigate.
And then there is something darker, pulsing beneath the surface, threatening to catch up with her. Hers is a life deeply affected by grief and chaos; the death of her mother, a sexual assault, and a drawn-out affair full of glamour, hedonism, obsession and control.
Is it possible to rebuild when all you feel is lack?
This stunning literary novel explores and confronts the immense pressure and uncertainty of contemporary, consumable womanhood.
Besides, there’s something wrong in her body. She can feel it. A pain. A constant dull ache she is too frightened to investigate.
And then there is something darker, pulsing beneath the surface, threatening to catch up with her. Hers is a life deeply affected by grief and chaos; the death of her mother, a sexual assault, and a drawn-out affair full of glamour, hedonism, obsession and control.
Is it possible to rebuild when all you feel is lack?
This stunning literary novel explores and confronts the immense pressure and uncertainty of contemporary, consumable womanhood.
About the author
Cecilia Knapp
6 books23 followersCecilia Knapp is a poet, playwright and novelist and the Young People’s Laureate for London 2020/2021.
Abridged from author's website.
Abridged from author's website.
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Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews
May 21, 2026
Falling somewhere between rites-of-passage and slice-of-life, poet and novelist Cecilia Knapp’s sensitive, semi-autobiographical novel follows an unnamed narrator. A woman in her late twenties trying to work out who she is and what she wants. At first, she thinks that’s a baby, that’s what women are supposed to want at her stage in life, especially one with a job, a place to live, a dependable boyfriend, even an aging cat inherited from her mother. Yet she’s restless, distracted, addicted to doom-scrolling and advice forums, never fully present. Gradually she realises she’s confronting a void, a profound lack tracking back to when she was eleven, witnessing her mum’s slow death from cancer then struggling without her.
The narrator mentally retraces her footsteps, the adults around her were well-meaning but equally floundering. Her loving but hapless dad; Eva the aunty she stayed with from time to time. It’s at Eva’s she was not only sexually assaulted but dismissively disbelieved. The only solid ground was friendship with Mary which has lasted through school and beyond. She thinks back to fumbling boyfriends, bad sex, isolation at university in London. Bone-deep uncertainty, unresolved grief culminating in a disastrous affair with charismatic Kit, older, married, he traded on being an actor with minor celebrity status. He was also a coercive womaniser, a force who temporarily took over, an obsession dominating her waking thoughts. But piecing together the fragments of her past somehow leads to falling apart.
Knapp’s carefully-crafted narrative slowly pulled me in. There are no pyrotechnics here, the delivery’s incredibly restrained, muted even which somehow made this all the more powerful. I particularly liked her style, her writing’s persuasive, deeply felt, direct yet fluid and lyrical without ever becoming overly precious or intrusive.
Thanks to Netgalley and publisher The Borough Press for an ARC
Rating: 3.5
The narrator mentally retraces her footsteps, the adults around her were well-meaning but equally floundering. Her loving but hapless dad; Eva the aunty she stayed with from time to time. It’s at Eva’s she was not only sexually assaulted but dismissively disbelieved. The only solid ground was friendship with Mary which has lasted through school and beyond. She thinks back to fumbling boyfriends, bad sex, isolation at university in London. Bone-deep uncertainty, unresolved grief culminating in a disastrous affair with charismatic Kit, older, married, he traded on being an actor with minor celebrity status. He was also a coercive womaniser, a force who temporarily took over, an obsession dominating her waking thoughts. But piecing together the fragments of her past somehow leads to falling apart.
Knapp’s carefully-crafted narrative slowly pulled me in. There are no pyrotechnics here, the delivery’s incredibly restrained, muted even which somehow made this all the more powerful. I particularly liked her style, her writing’s persuasive, deeply felt, direct yet fluid and lyrical without ever becoming overly precious or intrusive.
Thanks to Netgalley and publisher The Borough Press for an ARC
Rating: 3.5
June 18, 2026
Best book i read this year and entering my fave reads of all times. Cecilia Knapp's pen is SHARP
Thank u NetGalley for the ARC 🫶
Thank u NetGalley for the ARC 🫶
June 23, 2026
Lack follows a woman in current times fighting the battle of whether to have children or not and hearing the stories of her past that could be affecting her decision.
This book was an interesting read, I believe it brought up much needed conversations on how social media can persuade us and how everything we see online isn't real even to the 'simple' conversation of motherhood. You can see the main character is fighting the battle of pleasing everyone else including her partner but risk losing herself or make the decision that could disappoint not only her partner but what she believes is other people.
I can see that this character always seems to be worried about what people think even over the simplest decision. A character that lives in constant anxiety afraid to do the wrong thing.
The main plot seems to be based on what happened in the main characters past, how she was so loved but everyone around her but without her mum was never protected and taking advantage of. How she never really dealt with the feelings of losing her mum, to be sexually assaulted and being in a mentally abusive relationship, you can see how she learnt that she got her coping skills from her dad and just buried everything and moved on.
The main thing that bothered me was the fact this book was no where near as long enough as it could be, yes you get the idea of the story and see how it turned out but I felt like more could've been done with this story, to be able to see more into her current live, maybe a change of writing style that each chapter could go back and forth from the past to the present.
4/5
This book was an interesting read, I believe it brought up much needed conversations on how social media can persuade us and how everything we see online isn't real even to the 'simple' conversation of motherhood. You can see the main character is fighting the battle of pleasing everyone else including her partner but risk losing herself or make the decision that could disappoint not only her partner but what she believes is other people.
I can see that this character always seems to be worried about what people think even over the simplest decision. A character that lives in constant anxiety afraid to do the wrong thing.
The main plot seems to be based on what happened in the main characters past, how she was so loved but everyone around her but without her mum was never protected and taking advantage of. How she never really dealt with the feelings of losing her mum, to be sexually assaulted and being in a mentally abusive relationship, you can see how she learnt that she got her coping skills from her dad and just buried everything and moved on.
The main thing that bothered me was the fact this book was no where near as long enough as it could be, yes you get the idea of the story and see how it turned out but I felt like more could've been done with this story, to be able to see more into her current live, maybe a change of writing style that each chapter could go back and forth from the past to the present.
4/5
June 23, 2026
3.5 rounded down. I don’t know how I feel about this book. It was good and I enjoyed it for the most part, i found parts of it touching and relatable. On the whole though, unsure how i feel on a deeper level… will have to consider that as time goes on.
August 19, 2026
A book that so sensitively captures the realities of early 30s indecision about life. It tells the story of the long lasting pain and impact of grief and life without a mother. and the moment of choice around having a child in a world that doesn’t make it appealing or watt. It shows the knock on effects of vulnerability in childhood and then in early adult relationships after a devastating loss and absence of a mother.
I’ve not read another book that so subtly, and amusingly at times, weaves in the impact of doom scrolling and social media. And of course touches on so many taboos that are so deeply part of our everyday lives but not discussed.
Beautifully written too.
I’ve not read another book that so subtly, and amusingly at times, weaves in the impact of doom scrolling and social media. And of course touches on so many taboos that are so deeply part of our everyday lives but not discussed.
Beautifully written too.
September 23, 2026
I read Lack with an unsettling sense of familiarity. It felt as though Cecilia Knapp had written parts of my story, in a far more lyrical and polished manner than I could ever manage.
Of course, the similarity has its limits. My mother is alive, though she has never been particularly affectionate or interested in sharing activities with me. I do not have an older brother; instead, I have a younger sister who, in some ways, resembles my mother.
We are not the sort of family who talks openly about feelings or turns to one another in moments of distress. Nor do I have Mary or Anna in my life. I am fortunate to have many good friends, but closeness has always been something I keep at arm’s length. Most importantly, I never struggle with fertility (more opposite).
Beneath these differences, I recognised much of what Knapp describes. The ways childhood experiences and past relationships continue to shape adulthood, the weight of family dynamics, the longing to be understood and accepted. At times we thought we have moved on from them but they do haunt us unexpectedly.
It had never occurred to me that someone raised in a vastly different culture could arrive at emotional experiences that felt so familiar.
What I like most about the book is it articulated feelings I had never quite found the words for myself. At the same time, I wanted to know whether there was a way through the pain she was describing, as if I could recreate those resolutions in my life too.
Perhaps Lack is too close to my own experiences for me to assess it objectively. I struggle to separate the book's literary merits from my personal response to it. What I do know is that it left me feeling seen and we all make choices in response to the circumstances we are given.
Those choices may not always make sense to others, but they belong to us. As my therapist often says, we need to be gentle with ourselves. Lack feels, in many ways, like an argument for extending that gentleness to both our past and present selves.
Of course, the similarity has its limits. My mother is alive, though she has never been particularly affectionate or interested in sharing activities with me. I do not have an older brother; instead, I have a younger sister who, in some ways, resembles my mother.
We are not the sort of family who talks openly about feelings or turns to one another in moments of distress. Nor do I have Mary or Anna in my life. I am fortunate to have many good friends, but closeness has always been something I keep at arm’s length. Most importantly, I never struggle with fertility (more opposite).
Beneath these differences, I recognised much of what Knapp describes. The ways childhood experiences and past relationships continue to shape adulthood, the weight of family dynamics, the longing to be understood and accepted. At times we thought we have moved on from them but they do haunt us unexpectedly.
It had never occurred to me that someone raised in a vastly different culture could arrive at emotional experiences that felt so familiar.
What I like most about the book is it articulated feelings I had never quite found the words for myself. At the same time, I wanted to know whether there was a way through the pain she was describing, as if I could recreate those resolutions in my life too.
Perhaps Lack is too close to my own experiences for me to assess it objectively. I struggle to separate the book's literary merits from my personal response to it. What I do know is that it left me feeling seen and we all make choices in response to the circumstances we are given.
Those choices may not always make sense to others, but they belong to us. As my therapist often says, we need to be gentle with ourselves. Lack feels, in many ways, like an argument for extending that gentleness to both our past and present selves.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
Lack is an absolutely gorgeous book. The protagonist was very relatable despite her past not necessarily being relatable to everyone her age and potentially not the entire readership (I.e., losing her mother early).
I adored her difficult relationship with her father - her clear love for him and worry, the vulnerability of him as a widower struggling between passion and making a living, and his clear love for her but also the boundary between them. Lots of things left unsaid. Cecelia Knapp shows us in such beautiful ways. There is always a need from both sides for closeness and love but neither of them are able to give it to each other.
I adored her exploration of life differences and ones perception of the self and others - the interpretation of thoughts and actions. The idea that the protagonist feels she is integrally lacking in some way from her entire childhood to adulting when comparing herself to Mary. And how Mary feels exactly the same. I love that this is essentially a thought tank of female paranoia.
The social media obsession and health anxiety was accurate to a tee. This book was so honest.
And finally, I especially loved her conflicting with Dan about having a child and how patient Dan was. I wasn’t sure his patience was entirely realistic and felt he might have been a little more frustrated! But nice guys like Dan DO exist and I did really enjoy the polar opposite representations of nice guy and troubled narcissist (Kit). I abhorred him and felt the balance of his character traits in scenes - dependency and abusiveness - were spot on.
This is such a wonderful story about acceptance, grief, life and choices. Ultimately, she finds her family and doesn’t feel that she’s lacking at the end. Everything feels fine.
Thank you so much to HarperCollins for letting me read this on NetGalley 🙂
I adored her difficult relationship with her father - her clear love for him and worry, the vulnerability of him as a widower struggling between passion and making a living, and his clear love for her but also the boundary between them. Lots of things left unsaid. Cecelia Knapp shows us in such beautiful ways. There is always a need from both sides for closeness and love but neither of them are able to give it to each other.
I adored her exploration of life differences and ones perception of the self and others - the interpretation of thoughts and actions. The idea that the protagonist feels she is integrally lacking in some way from her entire childhood to adulting when comparing herself to Mary. And how Mary feels exactly the same. I love that this is essentially a thought tank of female paranoia.
The social media obsession and health anxiety was accurate to a tee. This book was so honest.
And finally, I especially loved her conflicting with Dan about having a child and how patient Dan was. I wasn’t sure his patience was entirely realistic and felt he might have been a little more frustrated! But nice guys like Dan DO exist and I did really enjoy the polar opposite representations of nice guy and troubled narcissist (Kit). I abhorred him and felt the balance of his character traits in scenes - dependency and abusiveness - were spot on.
This is such a wonderful story about acceptance, grief, life and choices. Ultimately, she finds her family and doesn’t feel that she’s lacking at the end. Everything feels fine.
Thank you so much to HarperCollins for letting me read this on NetGalley 🙂
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 23, 2026
On the surface this is a book about a millennial woman who is in a stable relationship, has a pretty average life but isn’t too sure whether children is something she actually desires. Underneath it all however runs the deep-seated grief of a girl losing her mother early, and trauma from suffering sexual assault and a controlling and lacking relationship with a married older man.
This book had me staring at the wall after reading sections of it. Wow. The writing was incredible, it just sort of lulled me in with its narrative and then sprung pretty intense parts on me. I can’t quite explain but this is the work of such a talented author. A quietly profound book in a very insightful, complex and moving way.
“I hadn’t noticed the unremarkable sanctuary of all these things until I could no longer have them. So it wasn’t sadness I felt, it was something about never being able to return home.”
I highly recommend!
This book had me staring at the wall after reading sections of it. Wow. The writing was incredible, it just sort of lulled me in with its narrative and then sprung pretty intense parts on me. I can’t quite explain but this is the work of such a talented author. A quietly profound book in a very insightful, complex and moving way.
“I hadn’t noticed the unremarkable sanctuary of all these things until I could no longer have them. So it wasn’t sadness I felt, it was something about never being able to return home.”
I highly recommend!
June 14, 2026
i really adored this and it was such an unexpected find -- i was scrolling through my audiobook app and found it and then it was my companion for the next day.
this is so beautifully written and also i sobbed a decent bit. at times, i was perhaps a little frustrated with the main character, who is often so passive, but she's clearly suffering hugely from depression and the titular 'lack' at her centre. this is one of those slow unfurlings of a book, which is very focused on its main character and all her building blocks. the author is so clear but careful in peeling away the narrative to present those to us and i enjoyed watching it be exposed.
it felt like a susurration at first, i suppose, and i liked understanding what those whispers were by the end. quiet, gorgeous prose, a clear sight on its characters. just really lovely. i'm glad i stumbled across this!!
this is so beautifully written and also i sobbed a decent bit. at times, i was perhaps a little frustrated with the main character, who is often so passive, but she's clearly suffering hugely from depression and the titular 'lack' at her centre. this is one of those slow unfurlings of a book, which is very focused on its main character and all her building blocks. the author is so clear but careful in peeling away the narrative to present those to us and i enjoyed watching it be exposed.
it felt like a susurration at first, i suppose, and i liked understanding what those whispers were by the end. quiet, gorgeous prose, a clear sight on its characters. just really lovely. i'm glad i stumbled across this!!
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
"No one else would want me, no-one else would measure up"
A childhood that could have been mine, a non-descript cul-de-sac in the midlands, neighbours that scurried in and out to their cars nodding as they went and a daily life that was similar to many others.
But it wasn't the same as mine, the protagonist lost her mother at eleven and from there our lives went in very different directions.
This novel crept into my soul, it rooted around and came out clutching my deepest fears and insecurities with a familiarity that was both relatable and disturbing.
The writing is sublime. A life laid bare, its challenges unbearable, its friendship, love and kindness heartwarming. A thought provoking read that struck a cord and will stay with me for a long time.
A childhood that could have been mine, a non-descript cul-de-sac in the midlands, neighbours that scurried in and out to their cars nodding as they went and a daily life that was similar to many others.
But it wasn't the same as mine, the protagonist lost her mother at eleven and from there our lives went in very different directions.
This novel crept into my soul, it rooted around and came out clutching my deepest fears and insecurities with a familiarity that was both relatable and disturbing.
The writing is sublime. A life laid bare, its challenges unbearable, its friendship, love and kindness heartwarming. A thought provoking read that struck a cord and will stay with me for a long time.
July 22, 2026
Really just very, very beautiful.
The descriptions were incredible for example of her Aunt’s farm, my friend in junior school lived on a working farm and I could smell it and see it and hear it just by reading the passages in this book. I’m not sure the last time I’d even thought of it.
This is not including the achingly personal descriptions of loss and need thoughout.
I hadn’t heard of this author before, but I’m not surprised to find out she is a poet. I’m going to seek out more of her work. I found myself rereading passages because they hit so hard and I could see myself there, feel myself there.
This is going straight into my 10 out of 10 list
Incredible
Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC you helped me discover something amazing
The descriptions were incredible for example of her Aunt’s farm, my friend in junior school lived on a working farm and I could smell it and see it and hear it just by reading the passages in this book. I’m not sure the last time I’d even thought of it.
This is not including the achingly personal descriptions of loss and need thoughout.
I hadn’t heard of this author before, but I’m not surprised to find out she is a poet. I’m going to seek out more of her work. I found myself rereading passages because they hit so hard and I could see myself there, feel myself there.
This is going straight into my 10 out of 10 list
Incredible
Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC you helped me discover something amazing
September 24, 2026
3.5 stars - This book is a truly accurate reflection of womanhood in your late 20s/30s. The narrator’s own experiences felt true and reflective of my own inner musings, especially around motherhood and rites of passage expected of women. It addresses unresolved trauma, harmful relationships and grief, specifically around how we view ourselves in the wake of these issues, and does so in a tactful, subtle way whilst driving the message home. I enjoyed the writing style a lot, but despite the relatability, I didn’t feel particularly attached to the narrator, nor anyone in the story. Nonetheless a good, surprising read.
June 10, 2026
I was really excited for this because I loved Cecilia Knapp’s Little Boxes, but this one didn’t do it for me.
I fear we may now have too many stories about women getting what they want but not exactly what they want.
I fear we may now have too many stories about women getting what they want but not exactly what they want.
March 20, 2026
Thank you to Netgalley for allowing me to read this book in return for an honest review. I found this story to be gripping and beautifully written. The book has many elements including friendship, grief, trauma and love to name a few. Mental health and the effects of social media also play a huge role in this story. A very cleverly written and thought provoking story that I would definitely recommend.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
Really engagingly written book about grief and trauma and the ways our environments can hinder growth. The main character is a very different person to me so there was every reason for this book not to resonate, but I still found myself relating to her on her journey. I think I was expecting more of a messy book, but it was really thoughtful and intentional.
Thanks to netgalley and the publisher for the ARC
Thanks to netgalley and the publisher for the ARC
June 13, 2026
I wouldn’t say I enjoyed reading this book given the difficult and depressing themes. But at certain parts of the book, the protagonist was relatable and resonated with me strongly. I love a messy woman. I absolutely loved the writing style as well. Kinda reminded me of Annie Ernaux a little. Overall, a recommended read or if you are wondering what goes in an average millennial woman, this is the book for you.
October 8, 2026
Attracted to the cover and felt compelled to read.
This was a difficult book, not because of the writing but of the themes of grief and wrong choices that a person made and the fact that it is so relatable to this world we are living in.
I don’t really know how to feel about the book but I guess it is successful in its way because it made me uncomfortable? I don’t care much for the men in her life except Dan.
This was a difficult book, not because of the writing but of the themes of grief and wrong choices that a person made and the fact that it is so relatable to this world we are living in.
I don’t really know how to feel about the book but I guess it is successful in its way because it made me uncomfortable? I don’t care much for the men in her life except Dan.
September 10, 2026
This book started and felt like an instant 5 star read for me, wonderfully written throughout, superb character outlines. I was invested immediately. But, it did fall off part way through with far too much emphasis on Kit, this part dragged and was quite repetitive. But all in all, a fantastic read and I'll be reading more of Cecilia's work for sure.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 3, 2026
Overall this read was fine, the focus was on things that I wasn't expecting. I thought this would be more centered on the idea of whether or not to have children. That felt like an afterthought and not a significant part of the story.
June 22, 2026
Alexa, play Man I Feel Like A Woman by Shania Twain ✨
August 7, 2026
Am destroyed and then rebuilt by this. I dont know what else to say.
Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews