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NERVE: A Memoir of Chronic Pain, Medical Trauma, and Surviving the Healthcare System
When Erika Conrad-Wess first developed sudden electric shocks of pain in her face, she assumed the problem would be temporary.
It wasn’t.
Instead, the attacks marked the beginning of a decades-long struggle with trigeminal neuropathic pain—one of the most severe and poorly understood chronic pain conditions in medicine.
What followed was not just physical suffering, but a collision with a healthcare system often unequipped to recognize, treat, or even believe patients whose illnesses cannot be easily explained.
In NERVE, Erika chronicles her journey through failed procedures, medical trauma, misdiagnosis, and the psychological toll of living inside a body that no longer feels safe. As surgeries accumulate and hope repeatedly rises and collapses, she is forced to confront impossible questions:
What happens when cure is no longer attainable?
How do you build a meaningful life when pain becomes permanent?
And how do you hold onto your identity when the institutions meant to help you begin to fracture your trust?
Told with candor, dark wit, and hard-earned insight, NERVE is both a deeply personal memoir and a broader examination of chronic illness, patient advocacy, and the uneasy limits of modern medicine. It is a story about resilience—but not the polished, inspirational kind. It is about adaptation, grief, endurance, and learning to move forward even when healing does not arrive in the form you hoped for.
For readers of The Invisible Kingdom, Between Two Kingdoms, and Brain on Fire, NERVE offers an unflinching look at life inside chronic pain—and a reminder that even in the wreckage, meaning can still be made.
“An inspiring testament to fortitude and resilience.”
— Mark E. Linskey
It wasn’t.
Instead, the attacks marked the beginning of a decades-long struggle with trigeminal neuropathic pain—one of the most severe and poorly understood chronic pain conditions in medicine.
What followed was not just physical suffering, but a collision with a healthcare system often unequipped to recognize, treat, or even believe patients whose illnesses cannot be easily explained.
In NERVE, Erika chronicles her journey through failed procedures, medical trauma, misdiagnosis, and the psychological toll of living inside a body that no longer feels safe. As surgeries accumulate and hope repeatedly rises and collapses, she is forced to confront impossible questions:
What happens when cure is no longer attainable?
How do you build a meaningful life when pain becomes permanent?
And how do you hold onto your identity when the institutions meant to help you begin to fracture your trust?
Told with candor, dark wit, and hard-earned insight, NERVE is both a deeply personal memoir and a broader examination of chronic illness, patient advocacy, and the uneasy limits of modern medicine. It is a story about resilience—but not the polished, inspirational kind. It is about adaptation, grief, endurance, and learning to move forward even when healing does not arrive in the form you hoped for.
For readers of The Invisible Kingdom, Between Two Kingdoms, and Brain on Fire, NERVE offers an unflinching look at life inside chronic pain—and a reminder that even in the wreckage, meaning can still be made.
“An inspiring testament to fortitude and resilience.”
— Mark E. Linskey
238 pages, Kindle Edition
Published July 1, 2026
About the author
Erika Conrad-Wess
4 books6 followersErika Conrad-Franzi is the author of NERVE: A Memoir of Chronic Pain, Medical Trauma, and Surviving the Healthcare System. For more than twenty years, Erika has lived with severe chronic facial pain, navigating a maze of specialists, surgeries, medications, insurance battles, misdiagnoses, and life-altering medical decisions. Along the way, she learned that surviving illness often requires far more than surviving the illness itself.
NERVE is the story of that journey. Blending memoir with commentary on the realities of modern healthcare, the book explores chronic pain, medical trauma, patient advocacy, resilience, and the often-overlooked human cost of navigating a system that can be both lifesaving and deeply flawed.
Beyond her writing, Erika is a business owner, patient advocate, and founder of one of the largest online support communities for people considering or recovering from microvascular decompression surgery for facial pain. Through her work, she has helped thousands of patients and families better understand complex treatment decisions and the challenges of living with chronic illness.
She lives in the mountains of western North Carolina with her husband and family. NERVE is her first book.
NERVE is the story of that journey. Blending memoir with commentary on the realities of modern healthcare, the book explores chronic pain, medical trauma, patient advocacy, resilience, and the often-overlooked human cost of navigating a system that can be both lifesaving and deeply flawed.
Beyond her writing, Erika is a business owner, patient advocate, and founder of one of the largest online support communities for people considering or recovering from microvascular decompression surgery for facial pain. Through her work, she has helped thousands of patients and families better understand complex treatment decisions and the challenges of living with chronic illness.
She lives in the mountains of western North Carolina with her husband and family. NERVE is her first book.
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Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
July 1, 2026
I was granted an Advantage Reader Copy of this book, but I would've read it either way.
Trying to sum up all my thoughts and emotions in a review hasn't been easy so please excuse the rambling thoughts. I was officially diagnosed with Trigeminal Neuralgia after having symptoms for well over a year starting at the age of 26. That as Erika and I were both told is "too young" to have TN. Well reality and medical textbooks are often at odds especially when dealing with ill-Informed and all too often cocky medical providers. The author's descriptions of her pain and experiences with diagnosis and treatment had me crying so many times as THAT was it. Those experiences were and are mine. Seeing them written down but especially in a book outside our Facebook support groups for others to read means a lot. I hope doctors, nurses, family members, friends who interact or might interact with someone with Trigeminal Neuralgia or any chronic illness or pain condition read this book.
While much of this book details failed procedures I don't think this book is intended to steer those of us with TN away from ever trying a surgery or other more invasive treatments. It is a reminder to count the cost potential cost, to get to know the doctor and care team before the treatment and that there is a way through the time after - good or bad. She shared the reality for many and provides lessons on what can help especially mentally. What mindsets are needed to keep going through some of the hardest pain humans experience.
Not only does the author record the awful experiences but she also wrote of the experiences where a little basic kindness changed her care and the ways she has found to keep going. TN can take us to a really really dark place. She writes of the ways she found to keep herself going; productive distractions like gardening and ultimately choosing to find small joys and perfect moments. To keep choosing joy even when there isn't the hope of a cure and accepting that, to keep going. I think Erika would like this quote from another book I love "The most important step is the next one" -Brandon Sanderson.
Thank you for writing this book Erika.
Trying to sum up all my thoughts and emotions in a review hasn't been easy so please excuse the rambling thoughts. I was officially diagnosed with Trigeminal Neuralgia after having symptoms for well over a year starting at the age of 26. That as Erika and I were both told is "too young" to have TN. Well reality and medical textbooks are often at odds especially when dealing with ill-Informed and all too often cocky medical providers. The author's descriptions of her pain and experiences with diagnosis and treatment had me crying so many times as THAT was it. Those experiences were and are mine. Seeing them written down but especially in a book outside our Facebook support groups for others to read means a lot. I hope doctors, nurses, family members, friends who interact or might interact with someone with Trigeminal Neuralgia or any chronic illness or pain condition read this book.
While much of this book details failed procedures I don't think this book is intended to steer those of us with TN away from ever trying a surgery or other more invasive treatments. It is a reminder to count the cost potential cost, to get to know the doctor and care team before the treatment and that there is a way through the time after - good or bad. She shared the reality for many and provides lessons on what can help especially mentally. What mindsets are needed to keep going through some of the hardest pain humans experience.
Not only does the author record the awful experiences but she also wrote of the experiences where a little basic kindness changed her care and the ways she has found to keep going. TN can take us to a really really dark place. She writes of the ways she found to keep herself going; productive distractions like gardening and ultimately choosing to find small joys and perfect moments. To keep choosing joy even when there isn't the hope of a cure and accepting that, to keep going. I think Erika would like this quote from another book I love "The most important step is the next one" -Brandon Sanderson.
Thank you for writing this book Erika.
July 1, 2026
This a Must Read for TN patients, Doctors, and spouses.
As a fellow Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) warrior, I have to say that Erika has done an amazing job describing what most all of us have went through, if not all of us. If you have just recently been diagnosed with TN this book will give you so many helpful tools. It will help you understand the trials and tribulation's this disease will take you through.
Right from the start this book had me hooked. I found it very hard to put down as it was like she was describing my life all over again. There were times I was mad at the way Drs. responded to Erika for advocating for herself. Other times I was reading and the tears were running down my face feeling the pain Erika was going through and remembering being in many of the same situations .
Erika describes how much Drs really don’t get or understand TN. How important it is to have a great support system and as much knowledge as you can. Through this disease self advocacy is so important. I wish this book was out when I was first diagnosed 17yrs ago.
I finished this book in less than a week, all the while going through a TN flair. It is the first book I have been able to read since my MVD. TN takes away so much from us. Thank you Erika for this amazing, heartfelt, touching book. It will help so many, I’m sure of it.
As a fellow Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) warrior, I have to say that Erika has done an amazing job describing what most all of us have went through, if not all of us. If you have just recently been diagnosed with TN this book will give you so many helpful tools. It will help you understand the trials and tribulation's this disease will take you through.
Right from the start this book had me hooked. I found it very hard to put down as it was like she was describing my life all over again. There were times I was mad at the way Drs. responded to Erika for advocating for herself. Other times I was reading and the tears were running down my face feeling the pain Erika was going through and remembering being in many of the same situations .
Erika describes how much Drs really don’t get or understand TN. How important it is to have a great support system and as much knowledge as you can. Through this disease self advocacy is so important. I wish this book was out when I was first diagnosed 17yrs ago.
I finished this book in less than a week, all the while going through a TN flair. It is the first book I have been able to read since my MVD. TN takes away so much from us. Thank you Erika for this amazing, heartfelt, touching book. It will help so many, I’m sure of it.
July 1, 2026
This memoir is a wonderful mirror where caretakers, patients, medical professionals and loved ones will see parts of themselves reflected along they way. I normally struggle to focus on reading these days, but I could not put this book down. I recommend it for anyone undertaking the “path to healing”, or those traveling along beside them.
July 3, 2026
Relentless
Relentless pain, relentless hope. I'm 75 and after reading that I know I will absolutely let my own journey go and accept what is. I'm grateful for that. Thank you. Wonderful writing.
Relentless pain, relentless hope. I'm 75 and after reading that I know I will absolutely let my own journey go and accept what is. I'm grateful for that. Thank you. Wonderful writing.
Review of advance copy received from Author
NERVE
“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” – Maya Angelou
“Words can be like X-rays if you use them properly – they’ll go through anything. You read and you’re pierced.”
–Aldous Huxley, Brave New World
These two quotations could well lead the reader into an insightful and at times emotional journey tracing Erika’s travels from the traumas of childbirth, diagnosis of infant Crohn’s disease to the earth-shattering discovery of Trigeminal Neuralgia – at a time when many GPs let alone Neurologists were unaware of its existence and unable to make proper informed diagnosis and treat the sufferer.
Erika with steadfast dedication, leads us through the horrendous discovery of the lightening-bolt blasts, the GP who does not know – from a diagnosis as a sinus infection to an ENT specialist who spotted her Trigeminal Neuralgia.
Once diagnosed, Erika turned to research – “the silence I got from doctors unnerved more than the pain”. Familiar with combing the published material, she pushed on through consult after consult, frequently to be met with the stony wall of the fact that she had committed the cardinal sin of doing her own research.
Erika’s voyage lead her through various eminent specialists, two MVDs, a horrendous failed episode with motor cortex stimulation, acupuncture, reiki, whatever path of relief she could find.
In the meantime, mindful of what pain and how TN and general lack of information about the disease, Erika reached out to others by setting up groups on Facebook In her own words “pain made me a prisoner in my own home, sometimes in my own body” Her compassion gives others a glimpse of a way back to normal
“Nerve” should be on every GPs book shelf; the reading list of every medical student and the go-to for every neurologist and neurosurgeon. The pitfalls and misdiagnoses, the cold-shoulders and “we know more than you” attitude must be taken to heart by all professionals. And for the many suffers out there, Erika’s wonderful and brave writing gives one hope – a lucid glimpse of American neurology in the 21st century. A book that I could not put down, even to wipe the tears from my face
Thank you Erika for “bringing back truth—that pain ignored becomes pain compounded. You bring back language—a way to name what others are still struggling to describe. You bring back joy—not as a byproduct of healing, but as a force for survival. And maybe most of all, you bring back permission.”
“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” – Maya Angelou
“Words can be like X-rays if you use them properly – they’ll go through anything. You read and you’re pierced.”
–Aldous Huxley, Brave New World
These two quotations could well lead the reader into an insightful and at times emotional journey tracing Erika’s travels from the traumas of childbirth, diagnosis of infant Crohn’s disease to the earth-shattering discovery of Trigeminal Neuralgia – at a time when many GPs let alone Neurologists were unaware of its existence and unable to make proper informed diagnosis and treat the sufferer.
Erika with steadfast dedication, leads us through the horrendous discovery of the lightening-bolt blasts, the GP who does not know – from a diagnosis as a sinus infection to an ENT specialist who spotted her Trigeminal Neuralgia.
Once diagnosed, Erika turned to research – “the silence I got from doctors unnerved more than the pain”. Familiar with combing the published material, she pushed on through consult after consult, frequently to be met with the stony wall of the fact that she had committed the cardinal sin of doing her own research.
Erika’s voyage lead her through various eminent specialists, two MVDs, a horrendous failed episode with motor cortex stimulation, acupuncture, reiki, whatever path of relief she could find.
In the meantime, mindful of what pain and how TN and general lack of information about the disease, Erika reached out to others by setting up groups on Facebook In her own words “pain made me a prisoner in my own home, sometimes in my own body” Her compassion gives others a glimpse of a way back to normal
“Nerve” should be on every GPs book shelf; the reading list of every medical student and the go-to for every neurologist and neurosurgeon. The pitfalls and misdiagnoses, the cold-shoulders and “we know more than you” attitude must be taken to heart by all professionals. And for the many suffers out there, Erika’s wonderful and brave writing gives one hope – a lucid glimpse of American neurology in the 21st century. A book that I could not put down, even to wipe the tears from my face
Thank you Erika for “bringing back truth—that pain ignored becomes pain compounded. You bring back language—a way to name what others are still struggling to describe. You bring back joy—not as a byproduct of healing, but as a force for survival. And maybe most of all, you bring back permission.”
Review of advance copy received from Author
A very easy read, one I could not put down and devoured in less than two days. This very relatable book reflects in its pages the reality of anyone that has ever been medically invalidated by a doctor in whom you placed your hopes for treatment and relief.
Erika deals with Trigeminal Neuralgia, one of the most painful conditions known to the medical profession. She easily illustrates the consequences of patient input dismissal by physicians and how it affects the sufferer and those around them, both physically and emotionally, as well as how said consequences can become a stepping stone to finding inner strength, self-discovery, and self-advocacy.
Erika's poignant and often humorous biographical recount of her everyday life experiences while suffering with TN is proof that it is very possible to deal with severe chronic pain and still learn to enjoy life.
This memoir is a compliment to those medical professionals who already practice patient-empathy and patient-centered care, while also presenting an invaluable lesson and wake-up call to those experts and physicians whose patients do not feel heard or understood, a plight to acknowledge the severe consequences of their strict clinical approach that discounts what the person that holds all the clues is sharing with their doctor. Finally, the book is a gift of hope and resiliency to the reader and one that leaves you anticipating a sequel. An absolute must read from me.
Erika deals with Trigeminal Neuralgia, one of the most painful conditions known to the medical profession. She easily illustrates the consequences of patient input dismissal by physicians and how it affects the sufferer and those around them, both physically and emotionally, as well as how said consequences can become a stepping stone to finding inner strength, self-discovery, and self-advocacy.
Erika's poignant and often humorous biographical recount of her everyday life experiences while suffering with TN is proof that it is very possible to deal with severe chronic pain and still learn to enjoy life.
This memoir is a compliment to those medical professionals who already practice patient-empathy and patient-centered care, while also presenting an invaluable lesson and wake-up call to those experts and physicians whose patients do not feel heard or understood, a plight to acknowledge the severe consequences of their strict clinical approach that discounts what the person that holds all the clues is sharing with their doctor. Finally, the book is a gift of hope and resiliency to the reader and one that leaves you anticipating a sequel. An absolute must read from me.
Review of advance copy received from Author
This book is what anyone who is suffering from this horrific disease needs. It makes you feel seen and comforted and most importantly, not alone in your suffering and journey. Trigeminal Neuralgia is a disease that rips your whole world apart… personally, financially, socially… in every single aspect you can even imagine. The author touches on all of these. I saw myself so much in her story and I didn’t feel so alone on my solitary “island” of chronic pain.
The most important thing I took away from her book, and probably the saddest, was the way she felt about her journey about motherhood, raising her children while enduring this disease. I, too, feel I wasn’t the mother I always wanted to be while navigating Trigeminal Neuralgia and the healthcare system. The things we both missed and couldn’t be there for with our kids, yet pushed through doing as much as we could, soaking in every single moment.
If you are dealing with any chronic condition that is affecting your daily life, this is the book you must read. I highly recommend it. There aren’t enough books like these out there for people like us.
The most important thing I took away from her book, and probably the saddest, was the way she felt about her journey about motherhood, raising her children while enduring this disease. I, too, feel I wasn’t the mother I always wanted to be while navigating Trigeminal Neuralgia and the healthcare system. The things we both missed and couldn’t be there for with our kids, yet pushed through doing as much as we could, soaking in every single moment.
If you are dealing with any chronic condition that is affecting your daily life, this is the book you must read. I highly recommend it. There aren’t enough books like these out there for people like us.
Review of advance copy received from Author
This was an emotional read for me. My journey with facial pain has a lot in common with Erika’s. When seeking a diagnosis and relief for her pain - medications, procedures and trauma from encounters with patriarchal doctors often made the journey harder. Sometimes, relief was found but did not last. Erika writes eloquently about her struggles with pain and the impact on her family and relationships. She shares the difficulty of maintaining hope when treatment- and sometimes the medical system itself - fails. When an attempt at a cure upends her reality and nearly takes her life, she fights her way back. Over time, with support from her family, she finds a way forward in spite of the pain. As old wounds heal, she learns to navigate a new normal and fashion a life with meaning and joy. Like the hero from The Odyssey- she finds herself back home after a long and arduous journey, scarred but stronger and wiser. If you have struggled in life, you will appreciate this book. Readers with chronic illness or pain may especially identify with her story and in doing so may find some healing of their own.
Review of advance copy received from Author
Reading Erika’s book has been an emotional roller coaster. There are just so many similarities in our journeys but Erika has the courage to tell her story to raise awareness and a greater understanding of Trigeminal Neuralgia and the challenges of life with debilitating pain. From dismissive health care professionals, failed procedures, medications and treatments, to the enormous impact on her as a Mother. There just aren’t enough words to express how deeply I felt it all. I’d like to hand a copy of this book to every Doctor, Dentist, Therapist, Practitioner, friend and family member who has walked in and/or out of my life during my journey, because everything is in there. We lose a lot, but we are reminded that one of the things we all gain is a sense of belonging and community.
Thank you Erika. I have so much respect and admiration for you and I applaud you for having the energy to write it all down as that, in itself, is its own journey.
Thank you Erika. I have so much respect and admiration for you and I applaud you for having the energy to write it all down as that, in itself, is its own journey.
July 12, 2026
As a fellow Trigeminal Neuralgia warrior I relate so much to so many aspects of Erika’s story. I’m honored to have known her in online TN support groups since my own pain started in 2011. Her story is beautifully written and insightful and gives voice and clarity to the experiences of many who suffer from chronic pain. Highly highly recommend to anyone, not only those who have chronic pain and those who love or care for them, but for anyone interested in the human condition and how we keep enduring, steadfastly and courageously, beyond where we think we can.
Pg 226 “I still live with pain. But I also live with proof. Of what warmth can do. Of what the body remembers. Of what I chose to carry - and what I chose, at last, to lay down.”
Pg 226 “I still live with pain. But I also live with proof. Of what warmth can do. Of what the body remembers. Of what I chose to carry - and what I chose, at last, to lay down.”
Review of advance copy received from Author
Nerve is one of those stories that pulls you in quickly and makes it hard to look away. The idea of people taking part in a dangerous online game for attention and rewards feels both thrilling and unsettling at the same time. As the challenges get more intense, you really start to feel the pressure the characters are under and how far things can spiral when everything becomes a competition for visibility. It leaves you thinking about how easily entertainment can cross into something much more dangerous in today’s digital world.
August 13, 2026
Thank you!
As I live with my own health issues I am blown away by your outcome. I am so sorry you haven't found a cure. I also live with unanswered questions and repeated disappointments. Acceptance is necessary and often comes with a depth of hope if we aren't careful. Thank you for reminding disappointment me to seek joy in daily moments instead of focusing on the struggle so much. I needed this book. God Bless You and your family.
As I live with my own health issues I am blown away by your outcome. I am so sorry you haven't found a cure. I also live with unanswered questions and repeated disappointments. Acceptance is necessary and often comes with a depth of hope if we aren't careful. Thank you for reminding disappointment me to seek joy in daily moments instead of focusing on the struggle so much. I needed this book. God Bless You and your family.
Review of advance copy received from Author
If you live with a chronic illness and have been dismissed, please read this book. As a fellow Trigeminal Neuralgia patient, I had tears, laughs, and a lot of “me too, girl!” as I was reading. Erika shows the truth behind chronic illness and pain, a truth we hide from everyone. I found validation in my own journey and comfort in knowing I’m not alone. I will read this book many times. ❤️
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews