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Still
What happens when two men who have been together for seventeen years fall out of love? Sivan Cruz, a set director in San Francisco, and Walter Wainwright, a big shot Bay Area lawyer, find out the hard way. Walter loves Sivan with all his heart but rarely talks about it, and Sivan needs to hear the words. The language of the love they have shared for so long, that has enabled them to build a life together and raise two children, stops working. They become—still.
When Sivan asks for a divorce, Walter doesn’t know how to say no. They separate, but while Sivan sees the relationship as over, Walter sees only a temporary setback. He has never lost his passion for Sivan and decides he has to say something before he ends up loving his husband in silence for the rest of his life.
Listening Length: 4 hours and 19 minutes
When Sivan asks for a divorce, Walter doesn’t know how to say no. They separate, but while Sivan sees the relationship as over, Walter sees only a temporary setback. He has never lost his passion for Sivan and decides he has to say something before he ends up loving his husband in silence for the rest of his life.
Listening Length: 4 hours and 19 minutes
5 pages, Audible Audio
First published May 14, 2013
81 people are currently reading
788 people want to read
About the author
Mary Calmes
126 books5,022 followersMary Calmes believes in romance, happily ever afters, and the faith it takes for her characters to get there. She bleeds coffee, thinks chocolate should be its own food group, and currently lives in Kentucky with a six-pound furry ninja that protects her from baby birds, spiders and the neighbor’s dogs. To stay up to date on her ponderings and pandemonium (as well as the adventures of the ninja) follow her on Twitter @MaryCalmes, connect with her on Facebook, and subscribe to her Mary’s Mob newsletter.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 238 reviews
March 17, 2016
Same Great Taste, New-Look Package!
This one features smexy heroes in the over-40 set, but otherwise it's got all the usual stuff, like the Canonical Calmes Chorus of Supporting Characters—only two of whom are children, this time—with the requisite number of sassy yet loyal personal secretaries, shouty-alpha tantrums, and hilarious hetero-normative hijinks of all kinds.
Another classic from the master, then, and it's great like it's always great: two irritatingly good-looking people making intensely stupid decisions based on plainly flawed logic and unreliable data, in defiance of the gods, the aggregate good-will of the aforementioned Chorus, and your fervent desires—with amazing fucking and a happily ever holy god I almost typed that all out.
Romance-crack, basically. Gimme Just One More Hit, Man, Just. One. More.
So, try it. It's delicious. Even if one of these adonae was so stubborn for so many pages I began to wish it had been me with the pyromaniacal window of opportunity.
***
A word about fucking.
You may insist that men cannot fuck one another in the ass without "preparation."
You may insist this because some people really do prefer bony fingers "scissoring" all up in it, and graduating from one-two-three-OKAYNOWCOCK.
But I must strenuously object, for once and for all, that an asshole is not made of play-doh; that when a man sticks his dick into your ass and fucks it in and out and ejaculates inside you and then pulls out, you are not then left with a cock-shaped orifice gaping slackly while his seed runs helplessly down your thighs like sex-diarrhea or love-menses or what-have-you.
An asshole is not a
An asshole has something called the rectum—which has a sphincter—and it's pretty awesome.
Because the business end of it closes.
So when your lover finally erupts into your pillaged pleasure-passage with his torrential two tablespoons of yummy fuck-mayo, it's not going anywhere unless you want it to.
Unless you push it out yourself, y'see.
Rather like how your intestines don't tumble out into the bowl if you should happen to lose your focus during a bowel movement.
Nothing goes in or out of your butthole without your assistance, barring rape, dysentery, or food poisoning—and I leave it to you to decide which of the three is worse.
Carry on.
May 16, 2013
2.5 stars...
"Mary, Mary...why you buggin'...?" - Run DMC
I am unapologetically a Mary Calmes fan. Duh.
But this book was just...BAD. I mean ALL over the place!
I had high'ish hopes. The blurb read like a bit of a stretch for Queen o' Fluff. If any blurb promises straight up heartache and angst, it was this one. So, I was curious. Could QoF pull it off?
Not one emotion...nilch...zippo. Not one heartstring tug. Dead inside. <-me.
The outline of the story is there: a couple (Sivan & Walter), together for 17 years, owning a house, raising children, building a home...realize that their love ran dry.
The actual book: a couple (Sivan & Walter), together for 17 years, who you don't ever really get to know, who have 100 friends and children, and children's fiances, and coworkers, and estranged family all getting involved in the breakup, decide they shouldn't be together, though they want to be together, and attempt to get back together. And this all is stuffed in a too-short, too-ambitious, too-crowded 190 pages.
(...oh yeah...throw in a random lunatic killer (I do not joke...this is Mary Calmes after all), a random family reconciliation after 20 years (I do not joke), and a random dinner with 6-degrees of separation the lawyer edition (I do not joke)...)...<-none of which was necessary, all of which was so out of place, and for a second, I thought my kindle accidentally opened another book...)
I'd normally be annoyed.
But this is QoF...so, I'm just a 1/2 step below indifferent. Meh.
Oh, and not a Jory in the bunch. *shakes head*... a Calmes book w/o a Jory? No WONDER it didn't work...
May 15, 2013
It's no secret that I love reading stories from Mary Calmes and I've been waiting on this one.
Sivan Cruz and Walter Wainwright have been married for seventeen years. Their marriage hasn't seemed right to Sivan for quite a while now so he asks Walter for a divorce. We do a bit of a time jump to the past that helps establish how things began for these men. They'd been working together for two years and had just decided to see each other when Walter gets some horrible news. The past is glossed over quite a bit and we revisit it as Sivan thinks back on his marriage. We then we see how the separation is going as they are run into each other during the nine months they haven't been living together.
This is a very short story so things are pretty rushed. I really enjoyed reading about Sivan and Walter, there were a lot of tense angry moments when things break down. Lots of frustration as well since it seems that it's very much just a lack of communication at the heart of it all. I think that if we had a POV from Walter my rating would have jumped, I needed to know where his head was at in a few places.
While this satisfied my Calmes craving until the next story, I can't say it's one of my favorites mostly because the length demanded something fast and furious that left more gaps and questions that I would have liked to have answered.
Sivan Cruz and Walter Wainwright have been married for seventeen years. Their marriage hasn't seemed right to Sivan for quite a while now so he asks Walter for a divorce. We do a bit of a time jump to the past that helps establish how things began for these men. They'd been working together for two years and had just decided to see each other when Walter gets some horrible news. The past is glossed over quite a bit and we revisit it as Sivan thinks back on his marriage. We then we see how the separation is going as they are run into each other during the nine months they haven't been living together.
This is a very short story so things are pretty rushed. I really enjoyed reading about Sivan and Walter, there were a lot of tense angry moments when things break down. Lots of frustration as well since it seems that it's very much just a lack of communication at the heart of it all. I think that if we had a POV from Walter my rating would have jumped, I needed to know where his head was at in a few places.
While this satisfied my Calmes craving until the next story, I can't say it's one of my favorites mostly because the length demanded something fast and furious that left more gaps and questions that I would have liked to have answered.
May 17, 2013
When I read the blurb for this I had such high hopes. The theme of a long term couple that have grown apart, and each thinking the other is no longer in love appeals to me.
Sadly this lacked the emotional connection I was hoping for. We never got to see Sivan and Walter as a couple. Oh we get to see the sexual attraction when they first get together, and we get a rushed intro to Walters two kids, but we never got to see them grow together. We certainly never saw them as a family. Instead we flash forward 17 years to the separation and from there its one long rambling back and forth he loves me he loves me not theme. Sivan has to be in the top 5 whiniest characters I’ve read. He really did nothing but whinge and whine the whole way through.
As if that wasn’t bad enough,
I expected the fairytale feel, this is a Mary Calmes after all, but I was just expecting a little more filler in between the “once upon a time” and the “lived happily ever after”.
I thought I could push this from a 2.5 to a 3 but to be honest I can’t say that I actually liked it. It really was just an OK read for me.
May 15, 2013
Mary, Mary, Mary.
When I found out there was a new Mary Calmes book out:
Before I started reading:
After I started reading:
Walter:
Sivan:
By the end:
When I found out there was a new Mary Calmes book out:
Before I started reading:
After I started reading:
Walter:
Sivan:
By the end:
December 31, 2013
This was my last read for 2013, so Jory and Sam almost get a divorce was a nice nostalgic pick. 2.5, rounded up.
She's onto us with the peacoats, by the way. Endless topcoats, no peacoats.
**
I'm ludicrously excited aboout this book. Clearly no insta-love, and it's something different from an endless string of falling-in-lust-and-fucking-a-lot books I've been seeing this year.
SQUEE.
She's onto us with the peacoats, by the way. Endless topcoats, no peacoats.
**
I'm ludicrously excited aboout this book. Clearly no insta-love, and it's something different from an endless string of falling-in-lust-and-fucking-a-lot books I've been seeing this year.
SQUEE.
August 6, 2014
4.5 stars
Still opens with Walter and Sivan at a crucial point in their seventeen year relationship. As told from Sivan’s POV, their marriage has fallen apart, it’s just not working for him anymore. He and Walter have raised two kids, pursued two busy careers, and have somewhere along the way, lost that kindling spark. The luster has worn off; they’ve come to a ‘stillness’. For Sivan, they are just going-through-the-moves and he’s tired of being taken for granted, shunted to the side. It’s an easily relatable conundrum -- how to thwart time and routine, how to keep that initial spark alive in a committed long-term relationship.
“Life is less about time and more about patterns… familiar interactions with people… you stop, realizing you’re doing things because of comfort and convenience, not because you’re in love. In that moment, you look across the room at the person in it up to their eyeballs with you, throw up your hands, and call it what it is... the end.”
It’s not just about that though. So much of it is about Walter and his aggressive, alpha persona. He’s a brilliant, ambitious San Francisco attorney and he is relentless in pursuing a high-powered career that allows him to provide well for his family. These same qualities eventually alienate Sivan… he wants to be ‘seen’ again, but it’s too late, there’ve been too many fights and too little meeting of the minds. He’s weary of being the ‘fixer’ in this relationship.
After the initial chapter, the story moves back in time for a bit as we get a glimpse of Sivan and Walter’s early relationship. This is where Calmes’ story-telling really shines. She is a master of that early seduction. So splendiferously romantic and sensual, she spins out the cat and mouse pursuit and falling together of two people who simply Must. Have. Each. Other. These two guys who, in the beginning, aren’t even terribly fond of each other (in fact, they have two years of butting heads, exchanging barbs, circling round and round) until suddenly, in a moment of kismet, they ‘see’ the other.
“… I had to think, and it was hard with him running his thumb over my lips, pressing his knee between my thighs, parting them… I knew his smile, the soft exhale of nervous breath, and the hungry clutch of his hands… I felt drugged, ravished, and there was only him with his heart beating in time with mine, his hands all over me and the heat rolling off him. Everything else went quiet, like it did whenever I was in Walter’s arms.”
The first few chapters of the story are by themselves, well worth the price of the book. Sivan and Walter can’t get enough of each other; parched, they’ve have found the oasis in the desert. Their passion is thick and palpable and the lust fairly wafts off the page. Hold on, we are in danger of serious Kindle meltdown here. Now,…back to the present...
Walter: big, ripped, confident, alpha-male, knows what he wants and he wants Sivan. Finally, facing divorce, he still and always will want Sivan. We feel for him, he is lost without his love. Sivan, charismatic and brilliant artist, does not make it easy; he’s captivating, he’s a bit of a brat, sharp witted and acerbic. What unfolds is Walter’s patient scheming to get him back, seemingly against all odds… oh, but there is something very sexy about a tough, take-charge man, used to winning, who must now pull together all his wits to win back his lover. Can he win this one too?
What we don’t get much of in Still is the middle part of the relationship — the building of a life together. We are left with the two ends: the passionate joining, and the split. The author is clearly more interested in the dynamic of the break-up and the tension it builds, and there is nothing overly dark or heavy here. Readers familiar with Mary Calmes’ previous work may see a similarity in these characters to those in Change of Heart. That story of alpha-shifter Logan, and his reluctant mate, Jin, remains one of my favorite PNR romances. There, again, we have a fated love and unremitting wooing and pursuit. The connection between Walter and Sivan recalls something of that earlier book. Once more, this formula works well for Calmes — you can’t help but fall in love with her characters, they have an undeniable chemistry.
While I found the writing in Still much tighter and more focused, I would have liked more story around the beginning of the relationship, and the story ending felt a bit rushed. Yet, I must give kudos to this author for representing sexy-over-40 so very well — we don’t often get M/M romances about the ‘after’ of ‘happily ever after’. Ms. Calmes has succeeded again in winning me over with her wicked talent for seduction and romance as I add another of her books to my favorites shelf.
For this review and much more, please visit: The Blog of Sid Love
A copy of this book was provided by the publisher/author in exchange for an honest review.
September 30, 2013
I am and always will be a fan of Mary Calmes. Yes she has a formula. Yes most books follow it. Yes sometimes its eye rolling.... But you know what? I DONT CARE
I just love her men. The chemistry is always there, the sex sizzles and whatever happens between them there's always a happy ending. That suits me.
In this Sivan and Walter who've been together 17 years decide to divorce, well Sivan does...its obvious from the word go Walters not a happy bunny about it so we witness his, the rest of the family and all their friends and colleagues and the rest of the worlds attempts to get Sivan to see what an arse he's being ( and he is) until he finally convinces him that its all a load of nonsense ( which it is ) and come home where he belongs! Throw in a deranged nut job to really push that message home, and Bob's your uncle, Fanny's your aunt, we have a story that's totally exasperating and at times WTF! but still I adored Sivan and Walter and all the hooha they generate. Go figure!
So there you go, another Mary tale that you're either going to gripe about or love. I'm all about the love. Lol! Joining my Calmes Keepers and staying there. ;)
I just love her men. The chemistry is always there, the sex sizzles and whatever happens between them there's always a happy ending. That suits me.
In this Sivan and Walter who've been together 17 years decide to divorce, well Sivan does...its obvious from the word go Walters not a happy bunny about it so we witness his, the rest of the family and all their friends and colleagues and the rest of the worlds attempts to get Sivan to see what an arse he's being ( and he is) until he finally convinces him that its all a load of nonsense ( which it is ) and come home where he belongs! Throw in a deranged nut job to really push that message home, and Bob's your uncle, Fanny's your aunt, we have a story that's totally exasperating and at times WTF! but still I adored Sivan and Walter and all the hooha they generate. Go figure!
So there you go, another Mary tale that you're either going to gripe about or love. I'm all about the love. Lol! Joining my Calmes Keepers and staying there. ;)
January 24, 2021
Re-read: 24.01.2021
I don't know why I found myself re-reading this book. Second chance at love just seemed like something I wanted to read. I have a hate-love relationship with the author's books, but I have to say I'm surprised that Still one was better the second time around. The ending was a bit rushed, but the story itself isn't so bad. A little more depth and I would've really liked it.
New rating: 3 stars.
First read review:
Set director in San Francisco Sivan Cruz (41), and big shot Bay Area lawyer Walter Wainwright (44) are getting a divorce. Sivan asked for it, and Walter's pride made him agree with it. However, they soon realized that all they have to do was to open their eyes and start speaking. Now they have to look deep inside themselves and open up, or decide to move on...
As far the the story goes, it was alright. I didn't feel like it had much depth, nor anything special. It was very predictable, but still cute. The characters were okay, but I didn't feel connected to them. Almost like I was on the outside looking in. There wasn't much pain, or action in it. It was just people finding their way back to each other, finding their home again.
One of the things that bothered me what that we didn't get to meet the kids. Sure, we met them when they were 4 and 2 but after that? No. We only got phone calls from each one. Another thing that bothered me was the fact that Walter had sex with three other men, while Sivan did none. Fine, they were separated but still...it bothered me. Overall, it was okay. Nothing to write home about, but it was a nice, simply and easy book.
Quick basic facts:
Genre: - (Adult) Contemporary Romance (M/M)
Series: - Standalone
Love triangle? -
Cheating? -
HEA? -
Favorite character? - Walter Wainwright?
Would I read more by this author/or of series? - Yes.
Would I recommend this book/series? - Unsure.
Will I read this again in the future? - No.
Rating - 2.5 stars.
I don't know why I found myself re-reading this book. Second chance at love just seemed like something I wanted to read. I have a hate-love relationship with the author's books, but I have to say I'm surprised that Still one was better the second time around. The ending was a bit rushed, but the story itself isn't so bad. A little more depth and I would've really liked it.
New rating: 3 stars.
First read review:
⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*Might contain spoilers*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱
Set director in San Francisco Sivan Cruz (41), and big shot Bay Area lawyer Walter Wainwright (44) are getting a divorce. Sivan asked for it, and Walter's pride made him agree with it. However, they soon realized that all they have to do was to open their eyes and start speaking. Now they have to look deep inside themselves and open up, or decide to move on...
“Baby, are you all right?”
I could only stare at him.
His thumbs slid over my cheeks, tenderly, lovingly, and he tugged me forward, closer as he smiled at me. “This is what I missed, you know.”
As far the the story goes, it was alright. I didn't feel like it had much depth, nor anything special. It was very predictable, but still cute. The characters were okay, but I didn't feel connected to them. Almost like I was on the outside looking in. There wasn't much pain, or action in it. It was just people finding their way back to each other, finding their home again.
“That yes, I’ve worked hard for a lot of reasons, some selfish, some not, but more than anything, I’ve built my whole life around you. Every success, every little bit of happiness is attached to you.”
One of the things that bothered me what that we didn't get to meet the kids. Sure, we met them when they were 4 and 2 but after that? No. We only got phone calls from each one. Another thing that bothered me was the fact that Walter had sex with three other men, while Sivan did none. Fine, they were separated but still...it bothered me. Overall, it was okay. Nothing to write home about, but it was a nice, simply and easy book.
“I’m not the wife in this relationship, Walter.” My teeth were chattering.
“No,” he agreed, leaning in to kiss my forehead. “You’re not. But you’re the one who makes this place home for me.”
Quick basic facts:
Genre: - (Adult) Contemporary Romance (M/M)
Series: - Standalone
Love triangle? -
Cheating? -
HEA? -
Favorite character? - Walter Wainwright?
Would I read more by this author/or of series? - Yes.
Would I recommend this book/series? - Unsure.
Will I read this again in the future? - No.
Rating - 2.5 stars.
May 23, 2013
Mary's craft continues to grow. The only person in love with Sivan in this narrative was Walter, and Sivan wasn't always right. Whereas an earlier character like Jory might have jumped into family situation with two feet, Sivan had a foot and a half out the door. The relationship was patched up vignette by vignette, and not in one fell crisis, and the feeling of middle age was skillfully done. This was a novella, so there were some moments of growth that were off page, but we could see the growth from on-screen moment to on-screen moment, which is a storyteller's best trick.
I loved this. It was sweet, and short, and it made me happy.
I loved this. It was sweet, and short, and it made me happy.
October 24, 2018
Told in Sivan's single POV Still is a romance about an older, settled couple who aren't connecting anymore, so they separate and then work their way back together.
There's some miscommunication leading to the separation, and some tension introduced through a stalker side plot that only serves to drive the estranged couple back together.
I'll admit Sivan's cluelessness and Walter's stubbornness made this less enjoyable than I normally find a Mary Calmes story.
And though I love Tristan James, he did not knock it out of the park this time for me. He doesn't differentiate between the different character voices well, so I was quite often confused as to who was actually speaking, and his pacing in this felt off to me as well.
Overall I enjoy the story, and have read it multiple times, but it's one of those odd occurrences where I always remember this far more fondly than I actually experience it.
There's some miscommunication leading to the separation, and some tension introduced through a stalker side plot that only serves to drive the estranged couple back together.
I'll admit Sivan's cluelessness and Walter's stubbornness made this less enjoyable than I normally find a Mary Calmes story.
And though I love Tristan James, he did not knock it out of the park this time for me. He doesn't differentiate between the different character voices well, so I was quite often confused as to who was actually speaking, and his pacing in this felt off to me as well.
Overall I enjoy the story, and have read it multiple times, but it's one of those odd occurrences where I always remember this far more fondly than I actually experience it.
March 21, 2014
I didn't think I was gonna like this one.
Stupid me.
August 14, 2016
Not one of my favorites of Mary's. The MC's split up in the beginning of the book for some reason that is never really explained, at least it didn't seem like it to me. It just felt like the whole conflict was manufactured, it didn't feel real at all. I didn't buy into their story and I was disappointed in the book. Of course they get back together, but again, it was a foregone conclusion so why did they split up in the first place when it didn't seem like anything really changed between them? I was confused and a bit bored.
I'm gonna pretend that this book didn't happen and go back to my favorite Calmes' book, Mine. Or maybe even read some Jory, who can always put me in a good mood.
I'm gonna pretend that this book didn't happen and go back to my favorite Calmes' book, Mine. Or maybe even read some Jory, who can always put me in a good mood.
May 13, 2013
4 Hearts
Review written for MM Good Book Reviews
http://mmgoodbookreviews.wordpress.com/
Sivan only sees that the relationship he has been in for 17 years has become stagnant, deciding he has to let his husband go so Walter can find happiness he asks for a divorce and begins to build a new life. Walter has too much pride to say no when his husband asks him for a divorce, but he never truly lets go of the idea of getting Sivan back, but convincing Sivan that he truly does love him is hard to do when Sivan refuses to really listen to what Walter is saying.
This is a great story of a well-established older couple whose relationship has fallen into a rut and one of the men decides the solution is divorce. Sivan needs to be told he is loved and wanted, and because he isn’t hearing the words he decides his relationship is over. Walter isn’t one to share his feelings, instead he shows his love with actions, but when his husband asks for a divorce instead of fighting for the relationship he agrees to the divorce. Both men try to move on, but Walter never gives up hope that Sivan will be his again and when Sivan has problems with an ex-co-worker Walter swoops in to take advantage and convince Sivan of his love.
I really did enjoy this smooth story. Sivan is positive that because he isn’t showed with constant love and affection that his marriage is over, but he really hasn’t got a clue how Walter really feels and instead of talking about it he makes a decision for both of them thinking he knows what is best. Walter is a great character, he is more of the strong silent type who is there when you need a rock. Sivan reminded me of an older slightly calmed down version of Jory from the A Matter of Time series, he needs reassurance that he is loved and when he isn’t reassured he acts thinking he knows best. Watching as Sivan finally comes around to the fact that he was all wrong is entertaining, seeing two men who have lost touch with each other open back up was really sweet and the sex they have is really steamy.
I have to recommend this to those that love drifting apart and reconnecting stories, rediscovering misplaced love, a touch of danger by a disgruntled ex-employee and a very happy ending.
Review written for MM Good Book Reviews
http://mmgoodbookreviews.wordpress.com/
Sivan only sees that the relationship he has been in for 17 years has become stagnant, deciding he has to let his husband go so Walter can find happiness he asks for a divorce and begins to build a new life. Walter has too much pride to say no when his husband asks him for a divorce, but he never truly lets go of the idea of getting Sivan back, but convincing Sivan that he truly does love him is hard to do when Sivan refuses to really listen to what Walter is saying.
This is a great story of a well-established older couple whose relationship has fallen into a rut and one of the men decides the solution is divorce. Sivan needs to be told he is loved and wanted, and because he isn’t hearing the words he decides his relationship is over. Walter isn’t one to share his feelings, instead he shows his love with actions, but when his husband asks for a divorce instead of fighting for the relationship he agrees to the divorce. Both men try to move on, but Walter never gives up hope that Sivan will be his again and when Sivan has problems with an ex-co-worker Walter swoops in to take advantage and convince Sivan of his love.
I really did enjoy this smooth story. Sivan is positive that because he isn’t showed with constant love and affection that his marriage is over, but he really hasn’t got a clue how Walter really feels and instead of talking about it he makes a decision for both of them thinking he knows what is best. Walter is a great character, he is more of the strong silent type who is there when you need a rock. Sivan reminded me of an older slightly calmed down version of Jory from the A Matter of Time series, he needs reassurance that he is loved and when he isn’t reassured he acts thinking he knows best. Watching as Sivan finally comes around to the fact that he was all wrong is entertaining, seeing two men who have lost touch with each other open back up was really sweet and the sex they have is really steamy.
I have to recommend this to those that love drifting apart and reconnecting stories, rediscovering misplaced love, a touch of danger by a disgruntled ex-employee and a very happy ending.
May 22, 2013
More like 2.5 stars
Ha! I did it - no DNF for me, nope. This was a mixed bag, really. A very interesting, gripping beginning, moving on to learning about Sivan's life as a single and his realizing that his relationship with Walter is far from over. Then the development that got totally on my nerves, unnecessary and unbelievable, only there to add some drama that wasn't even missing. I was reading a story about two guys separating and finding back together, not some harebrained revenge story of a drug addict co-worker turned stalker. Yes, I could have gladly done without that. Then, to wrap it all up - the reconciliation with Walter's family after all this time. Another over-the-top development I didn't need. So, I think, 40 pages less would have been about right for this story.
Ha! I did it - no DNF for me, nope. This was a mixed bag, really. A very interesting, gripping beginning, moving on to learning about Sivan's life as a single and his realizing that his relationship with Walter is far from over. Then the development that got totally on my nerves, unnecessary and unbelievable, only there to add some drama that wasn't even missing. I was reading a story about two guys separating and finding back together, not some harebrained revenge story of a drug addict co-worker turned stalker. Yes, I could have gladly done without that. Then, to wrap it all up - the reconciliation with Walter's family after all this time. Another over-the-top development I didn't need. So, I think, 40 pages less would have been about right for this story.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 17, 2013
This was my first time reading Mary Calmes--and I'll admit, I saw the cover and it was so pretty, I bought the book without even reading the blurb. I had been wanting to try one of Mary's books for awhile and I'm glad I finally did.
I really enjoyed the older characters. Look, I love hot young mancandy on the covers as much as the next person, but I prefer to read about characters with a little life and love history. So, that was one of my favorite aspects of this book.
The plot worked for me, though it felt it should have been about twice as long--and I would have read that. It did feel like a full length novel hiding out in category-length and I would have loved to see it more fully-fleshed. (that sounds pervy, huh)
All in all, I enjoyed. :)
I really enjoyed the older characters. Look, I love hot young mancandy on the covers as much as the next person, but I prefer to read about characters with a little life and love history. So, that was one of my favorite aspects of this book.
The plot worked for me, though it felt it should have been about twice as long--and I would have read that. It did feel like a full length novel hiding out in category-length and I would have loved to see it more fully-fleshed. (that sounds pervy, huh)
All in all, I enjoyed. :)
March 26, 2016
I totally enjoyed this book, was it formulaic...yes, predictable...mostly, like eating some of your favorite comfort food...absolutely. I actually would have given this 3.5 stars but bumped it up to 4 because it left me smiling and smiles are worth at least a half a star. Mary Calmes books always leave me feeling warm fuzzies no matter what the main character names are and as much as I enjoy books that make me explore new situations, ideas, etc. sometimes I just need comfort food for the brain, it's good and in it's own right just as nourishing.
September 9, 2013
I am a huge fan of Mary Calmes, but I found this book to be very frustrating!!! I wanted to reach through my Kindle and shake some sense into these guys. Ugh! How can Sivan be so blind?? How can Walter be such an idiot?? Why am I still reading this if it’s frustrating me so much?? Honestly, I did enjoy the book for the most part... I love Mary Calmes’ characters and the way she writes, but I didn’t love this story as much as some of her other books.
September 7, 2016
This has me all mixed up inside.
It really kind of made me sad. Mary's magic of course kept getting me out of that sad but still. Sad.
That formula though, serious. Works every single time.
I love you Mary Calmes!
It really kind of made me sad. Mary's magic of course kept getting me out of that sad but still. Sad.
That formula though, serious. Works every single time.
I love you Mary Calmes!
April 3, 2017
4 Stars
You know, it wouldn't be Mary Calmes without an "OMG You Almost DIED" moment...but I can't even hate on that ridiculousness given how much I really liked the rest of it.
So many books focus on the meet/cute, the hook-up, the heat & immediate romance. Then there's the drama that tests a new couple and how they approach that struggle, to overcome it and remain together before they ride off into the proverbial sunset. But too often it seems that people forget that there's a whole lot of life left after that stupid "Happily Ever After" milestone. ('Cause it's not always "happily.") I liked very much that MC gave us a view into how that future could look to at least one couple.
While the flashbacks on the beginning of their relationship, as well as their interactions after the separation, were great for setting the story and moving the plot...well, I wish there had been more of the scenes that broke them. The tiny cuts, the small slights, the big insults or heart-breaking fights; more of those would have made this a 5-fucking-star book.
You know, it wouldn't be Mary Calmes without an "OMG You Almost DIED" moment...but I can't even hate on that ridiculousness given how much I really liked the rest of it.
So many books focus on the meet/cute, the hook-up, the heat & immediate romance. Then there's the drama that tests a new couple and how they approach that struggle, to overcome it and remain together before they ride off into the proverbial sunset. But too often it seems that people forget that there's a whole lot of life left after that stupid "Happily Ever After" milestone. ('Cause it's not always "happily.") I liked very much that MC gave us a view into how that future could look to at least one couple.
While the flashbacks on the beginning of their relationship, as well as their interactions after the separation, were great for setting the story and moving the plot...well, I wish there had been more of the scenes that broke them. The tiny cuts, the small slights, the big insults or heart-breaking fights; more of those would have made this a 5-fucking-star book.
March 26, 2023
I bought this book quite a while ago and, I'll be honest, I've been afraid to read it. Not because I thought it wouldn't be good. Oh no. I'm a huge Mary Calmes fan and have loved every single book of hers that I've been privileged to read. My fear came more from a personal side. Within my family, my brother and his wife divorced last year after thirty-two years of marriage and four children. It was, in no way shape or form, ugly, at all. They are still the best of friends and he continues to be in and out of the house and they're both active with the children. It was such a shock, though, and I hated that my brother had to go through this. My fear also came knowing that as I read 'Still' I would be reminded of how easy it can be to let the relationship drift until neither person is happy or fulfilled, and that concept really frightens me. The author wrote this book with views into the past and the present, much like the movie 'The Story of Us' and it made the emotional journey even more impactful.
"But sex alone cannot save a relationship. It was over-we were roommates with benefits, not even friends, and we didn't have to be. We could afford our own places; we could share our kids and not even have to pretend we liked each other.
I took my ring off to clean the rain gutters six months ago and never put it back on."
From the moment Sivan and Walter met, they ignited sparks off one another. At first, they each believed it to be dislike, but when they realized they'd been in the midst of a finely choreographed foreplay for two years, then it was no-holds-barred heat and intensity. Walter worshiped Sivan's body in a way no one ever had, treating him as so much more than a casual hookup, and tenderly caring for his heart just as much. And Sivan, with his fearlessness, his sarcasm, and his meanness, knocked over Walter's ego and barged right through, not allowing Walter to always get the upper hand. Sivan protected Walter from all of life's hurts and slights, and vice versa.
Sivan and Walter's relationship didn't just begin on a sexual and emotional bang, but a realistic one as well. The night they first got together and Sivan went back to Walter's, they find that Walter's ex-wife was killed in an accident that day leaving Walter as a single parent to their two kids. All of this information was pretty much out of the blue for Sivan, and he struggled to take it all in. But, against the odds, they managed to fall in love and create a family together. They bought a home, they had friends, they raised their children, they fought, they loved, and then, what? It's just over? How does that happen?
You're so full of shit,” I said angrily. ”'From that first day we were together, I saw you clearly”'
“Maybe for awhile you did, but you lost sight of me again, because you had an image in your mind of what love was supposed to be like”'
“That's not true.”'
“It is true. You thought that if I really loved you that I would do this, this, and this. But I'm not you.”
“So working all those hours, spending all the time away from me and the kids, you thought that your love for us was obvious?”
”'Yes.”
Oh wow. This was everything I wanted and needed it to be. Walter I completely and utterly fell head over heels in love with. Sivan? Well. Sivan I wanted to smack, a lot, for being so blind and completely obtuse in regards to Walter. I understood the why of it, Sivan was abandoned and thrown away by his family at a young age, but seventeen years of love from a man like Walter should have given Sivan some much needed confidence and insight. None of this means I didn't like Sivan, because I adored him, I just needed him to wake up and see what was in front of him. Luckily, Walter had already woken up to the things he needed to do to keep Sivan and not lose him; to the weaknesses he was responsible for in the marriage. A relationship can't work when one person works, away from the home, all the time. Relationships take work, and they take compromise and every day there's a new challenge.
Thank you, Mary. I loved it.
"But sex alone cannot save a relationship. It was over-we were roommates with benefits, not even friends, and we didn't have to be. We could afford our own places; we could share our kids and not even have to pretend we liked each other.
I took my ring off to clean the rain gutters six months ago and never put it back on."
From the moment Sivan and Walter met, they ignited sparks off one another. At first, they each believed it to be dislike, but when they realized they'd been in the midst of a finely choreographed foreplay for two years, then it was no-holds-barred heat and intensity. Walter worshiped Sivan's body in a way no one ever had, treating him as so much more than a casual hookup, and tenderly caring for his heart just as much. And Sivan, with his fearlessness, his sarcasm, and his meanness, knocked over Walter's ego and barged right through, not allowing Walter to always get the upper hand. Sivan protected Walter from all of life's hurts and slights, and vice versa.
Sivan and Walter's relationship didn't just begin on a sexual and emotional bang, but a realistic one as well. The night they first got together and Sivan went back to Walter's, they find that Walter's ex-wife was killed in an accident that day leaving Walter as a single parent to their two kids. All of this information was pretty much out of the blue for Sivan, and he struggled to take it all in. But, against the odds, they managed to fall in love and create a family together. They bought a home, they had friends, they raised their children, they fought, they loved, and then, what? It's just over? How does that happen?
You're so full of shit,” I said angrily. ”'From that first day we were together, I saw you clearly”'
“Maybe for awhile you did, but you lost sight of me again, because you had an image in your mind of what love was supposed to be like”'
“That's not true.”'
“It is true. You thought that if I really loved you that I would do this, this, and this. But I'm not you.”
“So working all those hours, spending all the time away from me and the kids, you thought that your love for us was obvious?”
”'Yes.”
Oh wow. This was everything I wanted and needed it to be. Walter I completely and utterly fell head over heels in love with. Sivan? Well. Sivan I wanted to smack, a lot, for being so blind and completely obtuse in regards to Walter. I understood the why of it, Sivan was abandoned and thrown away by his family at a young age, but seventeen years of love from a man like Walter should have given Sivan some much needed confidence and insight. None of this means I didn't like Sivan, because I adored him, I just needed him to wake up and see what was in front of him. Luckily, Walter had already woken up to the things he needed to do to keep Sivan and not lose him; to the weaknesses he was responsible for in the marriage. A relationship can't work when one person works, away from the home, all the time. Relationships take work, and they take compromise and every day there's a new challenge.
Thank you, Mary. I loved it.
May 16, 2013
It's no secret that I'm a big Mary Calmes fan. She is like comfort food for me. I always know what I'm going to get and I know I'm going to enjoy it while I eat read it.
In this one we see a different type of conflict. Sivan and Walter have been together 17 years and raised two kids but now things are stagnant to the point Sivan asks for a divorce thinking it's what Walter wants and what they both need. This story spans over nine months and shows what these two are like during their pending divorce. Situations happen that require them to run into each other and it's just a matter of time before one of them pulls their head out of their ass and realize the best thing in their life is the love they have for each other. The "home" they've created together.
I loved both Sivan and Walter because of how they complete each other. That bickering only couples who have been together forever and are still fond of each other can only achieve is just so adorable to me and these boys do a lot of that. Sivan is very stubborn and adamant that Walter doesn't really want him while Walter is very firm in the fact his feelings haven't changed but unfortunately, Walter relies on actions instead of words and Sivan is pretty oblivious so he doesn't understand what Walter is trying to show him. Sivan is as far into denial as you can get but I found his stubbornness amusing. I also loved that Walter, while giving Sivan his wish of separating, still is very dominate and aggressive whenever they meet up. *sigh* I can't help it. I just love characters that are pushy and Walter is exactly that. Calmes has a tendency to write the same characters over and over but since they're always dominating, possessive characters, I don't mind that all her stories have the same guys. Plus, these two were so sweet and cute together. Their passion ran deep and even after being separated for nine months that never stops but just gets more intense.
My only problem was that there was too much sex for me. Thankfully no sex that features other people besides Sivan and Walter but with such a short story, it's hard for me not to get a bit annoyed when there's so much smut. Most likely others won't feel this way because I have a very low tolerance for smexy moments (and it's been even worse lately). So, I started losing interest after the third sex scene. Beyond that, the little conflicts throughout the story were a tad weak, as well as the final conflict but that didn't deteriorate my enjoyment of the story. The ending was so cute, although, I wished it had been a bit longer so that we could have gotten to know more about what happens next.
Overall, a good story but that's no surprise, IMO. I loved the characters, their bickering, and their stubbornness. I wished it had been longer because I felt like things were just getting started and a new chapter was opening up for Sivan and Walter but it was still a very amusing and enjoyable read.
In this one we see a different type of conflict. Sivan and Walter have been together 17 years and raised two kids but now things are stagnant to the point Sivan asks for a divorce thinking it's what Walter wants and what they both need. This story spans over nine months and shows what these two are like during their pending divorce. Situations happen that require them to run into each other and it's just a matter of time before one of them pulls their head out of their ass and realize the best thing in their life is the love they have for each other. The "home" they've created together.
I loved both Sivan and Walter because of how they complete each other. That bickering only couples who have been together forever and are still fond of each other can only achieve is just so adorable to me and these boys do a lot of that. Sivan is very stubborn and adamant that Walter doesn't really want him while Walter is very firm in the fact his feelings haven't changed but unfortunately, Walter relies on actions instead of words and Sivan is pretty oblivious so he doesn't understand what Walter is trying to show him. Sivan is as far into denial as you can get but I found his stubbornness amusing. I also loved that Walter, while giving Sivan his wish of separating, still is very dominate and aggressive whenever they meet up. *sigh* I can't help it. I just love characters that are pushy and Walter is exactly that. Calmes has a tendency to write the same characters over and over but since they're always dominating, possessive characters, I don't mind that all her stories have the same guys. Plus, these two were so sweet and cute together. Their passion ran deep and even after being separated for nine months that never stops but just gets more intense.
My only problem was that there was too much sex for me. Thankfully no sex that features other people besides Sivan and Walter but with such a short story, it's hard for me not to get a bit annoyed when there's so much smut. Most likely others won't feel this way because I have a very low tolerance for smexy moments (and it's been even worse lately). So, I started losing interest after the third sex scene. Beyond that, the little conflicts throughout the story were a tad weak, as well as the final conflict but that didn't deteriorate my enjoyment of the story. The ending was so cute, although, I wished it had been a bit longer so that we could have gotten to know more about what happens next.
Overall, a good story but that's no surprise, IMO. I loved the characters, their bickering, and their stubbornness. I wished it had been longer because I felt like things were just getting started and a new chapter was opening up for Sivan and Walter but it was still a very amusing and enjoyable read.
June 8, 2021
WARNING: REVIEW BASED ON CURRENT MOOD
Overall book rating: 3.5
Audio Book: N/A
Book Cover: 3
So basically I was in the mood for something like this.
I wanted hurt/comfort and second chances.
Problem: This wasn't what I was craving and I can't blame the book for that.
Unfortunately: Because of said "mood" and "craving" I did not enjoy this as I should have.
I ended up wanting to shake the ever loving "stupid" out of Sivan.
There are none so blind as those who does not WANT to see... (I think he's to old
for this kind of crap right?)
I found the beginning way to fast and not incredibly believable and there were moments I
was thinking...this is way to short for all the unnecessary information (the firs party
they showed up for together.. I still can't understand the need for 100 different names and
people mentioned. Also the whole salad eating thing.. yeah no. It felt like useless info)
I'm in a crappy mood. I know it. I take responsibility for it.
So I will say that when I had a glaring moment of understanding that what I was
craving wasn't going to be found in these pages and let go of the picture in my mind, I
did enjoy the story for what it was.
I still feel Sivan needs a slap up the head, but it was a good little in-between read.
Overall book rating: 3.5
Audio Book: N/A
Book Cover: 3
So basically I was in the mood for something like this.
I wanted hurt/comfort and second chances.
Problem: This wasn't what I was craving and I can't blame the book for that.
Unfortunately: Because of said "mood" and "craving" I did not enjoy this as I should have.
I ended up wanting to shake the ever loving "stupid" out of Sivan.
There are none so blind as those who does not WANT to see... (I think he's to old
for this kind of crap right?)
I found the beginning way to fast and not incredibly believable and there were moments I
was thinking...this is way to short for all the unnecessary information (the firs party
they showed up for together.. I still can't understand the need for 100 different names and
people mentioned. Also the whole salad eating thing.. yeah no. It felt like useless info)
I'm in a crappy mood. I know it. I take responsibility for it.
So I will say that when I had a glaring moment of understanding that what I was
craving wasn't going to be found in these pages and let go of the picture in my mind, I
did enjoy the story for what it was.
I still feel Sivan needs a slap up the head, but it was a good little in-between read.
November 24, 2014
What it's about: This is a story revolving around a couple who has been together for 17 years and has fallen still. They are more roommates with benefits than a true couple. Still is about their fight to find themselves and each other again. There's a family reunion, friends, fighting and even one crazy former employee.
Why you should read it: This is a contemporary romance that features a small blip in time for an established couple. We the readers get to glimpse Siv and Walter as they "separate." This is a feel-good story that ends perfectly. It's like the perfect amount of angst, failings, bedroom scenes and make-up bedroom scenes. I'm a huge Mary Calmes fan, and this one is perfect for those of you loving established heroes with children and history.
To see what's next for Mary check out the HEA Blog
http://www.usatoday.com/story/happyev...
****This story is excellent in audio format, I think DSP needs to put in Heart of the Race and Steamroller... actually can all of Mary's books be in audio form???****
Why you should read it: This is a contemporary romance that features a small blip in time for an established couple. We the readers get to glimpse Siv and Walter as they "separate." This is a feel-good story that ends perfectly. It's like the perfect amount of angst, failings, bedroom scenes and make-up bedroom scenes. I'm a huge Mary Calmes fan, and this one is perfect for those of you loving established heroes with children and history.
To see what's next for Mary check out the HEA Blog
http://www.usatoday.com/story/happyev...
****This story is excellent in audio format, I think DSP needs to put in Heart of the Race and Steamroller... actually can all of Mary's books be in audio form???****
May 16, 2013
I really enjoyed this story.
Apparently 17 years of marriage does not guarantee that a couple will have learnt to communicate with each other. I can believe that a couple in a new relationship may be reluctant to express their true feelings for each other, but I did find it a little bit of a stretch to believe that neither Walter or Sivan would have spoken up earlier about their true feelings, especially after being married for so long. Mostly though it was an accurate portrayal of the ups and downs of a long term relationship.
Walter was perfect for me: dominating, protective, caring and alpha. Sivan was not as developed as a character, a bit too naive and Mary-Sue IMO. Walter came across as very male and masculine, but Sivan not so much.
I think readers who are in a long term relationship themselves will particularly appreciate this story. It's a nice reminder to cherish the life you have built with someone.
Apparently 17 years of marriage does not guarantee that a couple will have learnt to communicate with each other. I can believe that a couple in a new relationship may be reluctant to express their true feelings for each other, but I did find it a little bit of a stretch to believe that neither Walter or Sivan would have spoken up earlier about their true feelings, especially after being married for so long. Mostly though it was an accurate portrayal of the ups and downs of a long term relationship.
Walter was perfect for me: dominating, protective, caring and alpha. Sivan was not as developed as a character, a bit too naive and Mary-Sue IMO. Walter came across as very male and masculine, but Sivan not so much.
I think readers who are in a long term relationship themselves will particularly appreciate this story. It's a nice reminder to cherish the life you have built with someone.
July 23, 2016
Wow, damn, I seriously don't know if it was a really good Mary Calmes or an incredibly good Tristan James. Seriously, no one can read me Mary Calmes like TJ can. It was so sweet, from the first pov (which I always love) and TJ did an amazing job with it.
Such sweet characters, and I love the alternating time line - MC does it really well. Starting out with them splitting up and going back and forth with seriously lovely romantic memories... yeah - it was really great. Only slightly more than four hours - what a great listen.
Such sweet characters, and I love the alternating time line - MC does it really well. Starting out with them splitting up and going back and forth with seriously lovely romantic memories... yeah - it was really great. Only slightly more than four hours - what a great listen.
November 22, 2022
Dammit, Mary. Just when I think I might have to quit you (after No Quick Fix which did not work for me), you give me this lovely story of older MCs in an established relationship, on the brink of divorce who find their way back to each other. I finished it more than a week ago but I'm still thinking about it.
This book was written in 2013 so why did it just now pop up in my newsfeed? Maybe it got a new cover. I don't know. But I'm glad it did because this, along with the Marshals Series, is one of my favorite Mary Calmes books.
This is the story of what happens after the HEA. Real life, where the rubber meets the road. You've got two people, Walter and Siven, who have been together for 17 years, raised two great kids, and are now empty nesters. They achieved their career goals, live in a lovely home, and have been on fabulous vacations. Everything is great. Or it should be great. But it's not. Walter and Siv's relationship is like a ragged, old pair of slippers. Comfortable. They find themselves living separate lives under the same roof. They feel disconnected. They take each other for granted. Walter and Siv loved each other, yes, but the relationship is in a rut and their feelings have grown stale. The relationship is stagnant.
Siv and Walter speak two completely different love languages. Walter is the strong, silent type. Walter assumes Siv knows he loves him because Walter is the family's provider and protector. He gave them a comfortable home, and gave Siv a chance to further his education after Walter finished law school. That's how Walter shows Siven he loves him... by doing, not by talking. In Walter's mind, actions speak louder than words.
But Siven needs more than just actions. He needs to hear the words. Repeatedly and sincerely. Siv needs Walter's physical presence (outside the bedroom). He needs an emotional connection, tender words, and two-way communication with Walter. I love you, I need you, I care about you, you are important to me - Siv needs the reassurance of those words.
But Siv is not getting any of that, and sometimes it seems like the only solution is separation because it turns out that love alone just isn't enough. So Siv tells Walter they need to get a divorce, and as so often happens, one person in the relationship doesn't realize the enormity of what they've lost until it's gone - and the other person can't bear the pain of continuing (or returning to) a hollow, numb existence inside the relationship. That's what this story is all about. It's short. It's quiet. It whispers. It's a slice of life. We aren't given every detail, which is part of its charm.
We read about Siv & Walter's beginning and (almost) ending but we don't get to see much, if any, of those middle years. Those are glossed over. But isn't that like real life? The middle years, in most long-term relationships, are a blur. You fall into routines, habits, patterns. You get so busy with day-to-day life you forget the relationship needs to be nurtured. You get lulled to sleep until something happens to wake you from that slumber. The middle years - that's where relationships wither and die. The gap between the beginning and the end of Walter and Siv's relationship - the lack of information, in this case - is an integral part of this story. We get glimpses of them missing each other when the comfort of the long-term relationship is no longer there, when they realize they know each other better than any other person on the planet, when they see something that reminds them of the other person. That's real life in a long-term relationship. Having been on both sides - the one who left and the one who was left behind - this felt real. It made me think about my own relationship. I can't stop thinking about how relatable it is.
Those are all the things I loved about this story.
What I didn't love?
The side story with the stalker and Walter's family drama and reconciliation with them at the end of the book. Both of those elements were completely unnecessary. It would have been a better story without those distractions, in my opinion.
I haven't read all of Mary Calmes' books but I've read enough of them to know that she writes similar characters. There's the strong, silent type who has trouble communicating (except in the bedroom) and his partner, the somewhat insecure, emotive guy who gets tired of having to do all the heavy lifting when it comes to verbal communication. And I am not the first reviewer to point out that this is basically Sam and Jory's story after a couple of decades of marriage and the kids grow up and leave the nest. Sam/Walter is the strong, silent, left-brain, alpha male. Jory/Siven is the creative, somewhat impetuous, communicative type.
The one thing I hope for Walter and Siv is that they find a good marriage counselor. They need to spend a couple of years in therapy to help them understand each other better and learn some effective communication skills.
I listened to the audio version of this book with Tristan James narrating. When he's good, he's very, very good. I love his voice. My only complaint is that there was not a lot of distinction between Walter and Siv's voices. All the side characters were great and easily differentiated. But often, I couldn't tell who was speaking when there was a dialogue between Walter and Siv.
4 stars. I'll definitely be listening to this one again.
This book was written in 2013 so why did it just now pop up in my newsfeed? Maybe it got a new cover. I don't know. But I'm glad it did because this, along with the Marshals Series, is one of my favorite Mary Calmes books.
This is the story of what happens after the HEA. Real life, where the rubber meets the road. You've got two people, Walter and Siven, who have been together for 17 years, raised two great kids, and are now empty nesters. They achieved their career goals, live in a lovely home, and have been on fabulous vacations. Everything is great. Or it should be great. But it's not. Walter and Siv's relationship is like a ragged, old pair of slippers. Comfortable. They find themselves living separate lives under the same roof. They feel disconnected. They take each other for granted. Walter and Siv loved each other, yes, but the relationship is in a rut and their feelings have grown stale. The relationship is stagnant.
Siv and Walter speak two completely different love languages. Walter is the strong, silent type. Walter assumes Siv knows he loves him because Walter is the family's provider and protector. He gave them a comfortable home, and gave Siv a chance to further his education after Walter finished law school. That's how Walter shows Siven he loves him... by doing, not by talking. In Walter's mind, actions speak louder than words.
But Siven needs more than just actions. He needs to hear the words. Repeatedly and sincerely. Siv needs Walter's physical presence (outside the bedroom). He needs an emotional connection, tender words, and two-way communication with Walter. I love you, I need you, I care about you, you are important to me - Siv needs the reassurance of those words.
But Siv is not getting any of that, and sometimes it seems like the only solution is separation because it turns out that love alone just isn't enough. So Siv tells Walter they need to get a divorce, and as so often happens, one person in the relationship doesn't realize the enormity of what they've lost until it's gone - and the other person can't bear the pain of continuing (or returning to) a hollow, numb existence inside the relationship. That's what this story is all about. It's short. It's quiet. It whispers. It's a slice of life. We aren't given every detail, which is part of its charm.
We read about Siv & Walter's beginning and (almost) ending but we don't get to see much, if any, of those middle years. Those are glossed over. But isn't that like real life? The middle years, in most long-term relationships, are a blur. You fall into routines, habits, patterns. You get so busy with day-to-day life you forget the relationship needs to be nurtured. You get lulled to sleep until something happens to wake you from that slumber. The middle years - that's where relationships wither and die. The gap between the beginning and the end of Walter and Siv's relationship - the lack of information, in this case - is an integral part of this story. We get glimpses of them missing each other when the comfort of the long-term relationship is no longer there, when they realize they know each other better than any other person on the planet, when they see something that reminds them of the other person. That's real life in a long-term relationship. Having been on both sides - the one who left and the one who was left behind - this felt real. It made me think about my own relationship. I can't stop thinking about how relatable it is.
Those are all the things I loved about this story.
What I didn't love?
The side story with the stalker and Walter's family drama and reconciliation with them at the end of the book. Both of those elements were completely unnecessary. It would have been a better story without those distractions, in my opinion.
I haven't read all of Mary Calmes' books but I've read enough of them to know that she writes similar characters. There's the strong, silent type who has trouble communicating (except in the bedroom) and his partner, the somewhat insecure, emotive guy who gets tired of having to do all the heavy lifting when it comes to verbal communication. And I am not the first reviewer to point out that this is basically Sam and Jory's story after a couple of decades of marriage and the kids grow up and leave the nest. Sam/Walter is the strong, silent, left-brain, alpha male. Jory/Siven is the creative, somewhat impetuous, communicative type.
The one thing I hope for Walter and Siv is that they find a good marriage counselor. They need to spend a couple of years in therapy to help them understand each other better and learn some effective communication skills.
I listened to the audio version of this book with Tristan James narrating. When he's good, he's very, very good. I love his voice. My only complaint is that there was not a lot of distinction between Walter and Siv's voices. All the side characters were great and easily differentiated. But often, I couldn't tell who was speaking when there was a dialogue between Walter and Siv.
4 stars. I'll definitely be listening to this one again.
dnf
October 14, 2014This. Was. Ridiculous.
Seriously no idea why they separated except that Sivan got all pouty about something? Whatever. Then the accidental meet ups, the lusting and lusting internal monologue and then say 'I dont care who you sleep with' and then the kids chirp in and apparently Walter want Sivan back but doesn't have the balls to say something? He was all balls to the wall when they met! No sense. None. I had to stop the madness.
Seriously no idea why they separated except that Sivan got all pouty about something? Whatever. Then the accidental meet ups, the lusting and lusting internal monologue and then say 'I dont care who you sleep with' and then the kids chirp in and apparently Walter want Sivan back but doesn't have the balls to say something? He was all balls to the wall when they met! No sense. None. I had to stop the madness.
September 4, 2016
I'm a Calmes Addict. It's like my crack. This had some of the normal elements (big alpha, dominant, super looking guys, a bit of a crime element, etc) but underneath had some other elements as well like kids. I wish we would have seen more - I could have done another 100 pages in the book easily. I was so interested in how the kids were raised and reflections on the past 17 years that were more specific.
May 15, 2013
In short, it was a "What would happened if Sam and Jory got divorced after their kids grown up" scenario.
Ms. Calmes may have stated that she wants to write older MCs for a change but I did not felt that they were any different from her usual MC trope. At best, this is the type of MCs that Ms. Calmes write best. Or, to be mean, they seemed to be the only kind she ever wrote...
In relationship, or in this case, marriage, sometimes it takes two to ruin it. In this case, at first Sivan seemed to state that they were somewhat struggling financially, then came the divorce statement. But later we read that Walter drive big car, own 2K$ Dior suit, and a partner at big law firm. So I am confused if it was just a figure of speech to compare the deterioration of things to the marriage or it was a fact about their financial situations.
The writing was smooth and engaging as usual. I never had issues whether Ms. Calmes could write and engaging, smooth reading story. I mostly have issues with the execution and the story itself... Here, Ms. Calmes seemingly put the blame on Sivan for asking for divorce. When, and it only implied quite later in the book, that they both stop trying to actually communicate. What was obvious was that they took each other for granted and then tried to compensate and made up to each other with the divorce. Which was logically sound and realistic. The *fight* was all tell and no show, which made it difficult for me to judge how they came to point where Sivan thought of divorce. However, what came after aggravates me.
Almost every secondary character seemed to blame Sivan for taking steps that he thought would make things better for both of them. Sure it probably was not the best move but they cease to communicate by that time so there was little alternatives. It took Walter months to figure out what was wrong before trying to win Sivan back. Everybody and their brother seemed to just tell Sivan to suck it up and went back to Walter. Walter was groveling for a few pages before mauling Sivan into submission. I don't think he ever said he was sorry that he neglected his family, including Sivan, for his work. And, again, he managed to blame Sivan for *not seeing him*, when it seemed that Walter were hardly home for Sivan to *see*.
I supposed, what upset me most, was the usual MO that the Top guy getaway with minimum grovel by simply kissing the Bottom guy stupid and take charge. I think I would have liked this better if they actually went on dates before jumping back into bed.
I don't think I ever read a Mary Calmes books when one MC tried to actually woo his love interest with something else other than sex...
Various elements in this book reminded me of the Matter of Time series, a sense of Déjà vu occurred more than a few times throughout that made me think "I have read this scene before.":
I also called bullshit for expecting your SO to just know how you think without saying. How is that supposed to happen when the couple spend less than an hour awake together? That is called "Taking people for granted" and
It was believable in
because the MCs spend the majority of their waking hours together.
In the end, tt was a smooth, somewhat aggravating read, where the wrong guy (in my opinion) was blamed for wanting to make his situation better. Walter, instead trying to change, caved and let go. The situation smoothed itself over the course of their separation. Walter, all of a sudden, have no need to put in long hours anymore. Which was all I could glean from the book that it was the root of most of their problems. I could not relate or condone Walter's behaviors as I sympathized more with Sivan's sucky situation.
Ms. Calmes may have stated that she wants to write older MCs for a change but I did not felt that they were any different from her usual MC trope. At best, this is the type of MCs that Ms. Calmes write best. Or, to be mean, they seemed to be the only kind she ever wrote...
In relationship, or in this case, marriage, sometimes it takes two to ruin it. In this case, at first Sivan seemed to state that they were somewhat struggling financially, then came the divorce statement. But later we read that Walter drive big car, own 2K$ Dior suit, and a partner at big law firm. So I am confused if it was just a figure of speech to compare the deterioration of things to the marriage or it was a fact about their financial situations.
The writing was smooth and engaging as usual. I never had issues whether Ms. Calmes could write and engaging, smooth reading story. I mostly have issues with the execution and the story itself... Here, Ms. Calmes seemingly put the blame on Sivan for asking for divorce. When, and it only implied quite later in the book, that they both stop trying to actually communicate. What was obvious was that they took each other for granted and then tried to compensate and made up to each other with the divorce. Which was logically sound and realistic. The *fight* was all tell and no show, which made it difficult for me to judge how they came to point where Sivan thought of divorce. However, what came after aggravates me.
Almost every secondary character seemed to blame Sivan for taking steps that he thought would make things better for both of them. Sure it probably was not the best move but they cease to communicate by that time so there was little alternatives. It took Walter months to figure out what was wrong before trying to win Sivan back. Everybody and their brother seemed to just tell Sivan to suck it up and went back to Walter. Walter was groveling for a few pages before mauling Sivan into submission. I don't think he ever said he was sorry that he neglected his family, including Sivan, for his work. And, again, he managed to blame Sivan for *not seeing him*, when it seemed that Walter were hardly home for Sivan to *see*.
I supposed, what upset me most, was the usual MO that the Top guy getaway with minimum grovel by simply kissing the Bottom guy stupid and take charge. I think I would have liked this better if they actually went on dates before jumping back into bed.
I don't think I ever read a Mary Calmes books when one MC tried to actually woo his love interest with something else other than sex...
Various elements in this book reminded me of the Matter of Time series, a sense of Déjà vu occurred more than a few times throughout that made me think "I have read this scene before.":
I also called bullshit for expecting your SO to just know how you think without saying. How is that supposed to happen when the couple spend less than an hour awake together? That is called "Taking people for granted" and
It was believable in
because the MCs spend the majority of their waking hours together. In the end, tt was a smooth, somewhat aggravating read, where the wrong guy (in my opinion) was blamed for wanting to make his situation better. Walter, instead trying to change, caved and let go. The situation smoothed itself over the course of their separation. Walter, all of a sudden, have no need to put in long hours anymore. Which was all I could glean from the book that it was the root of most of their problems. I could not relate or condone Walter's behaviors as I sympathized more with Sivan's sucky situation.
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