Defrocked: Good News from a Bad Pastor for a Better Church

by Lillian Daniel

"Pastor Lillian Daniel crossed a line that threatened to cost her everything."


After a devastating public exile, one pastor found unexpected grace, deepened faith, and a radical new vision for a church that embraces honesty, healing, and restoration.



When a sudden scandal led to a yearlong exile from ministry, Lillian Daniel's life trajectory changed overnight. Stripped of her standing just before Palm Sunday, she was forced into a painful, isolating institutional investigation.



Yet, it was deep inside this personal crisis—or as she puts it, "in the ditch of my own making"—that she discovered the true meaning of sin, repentance, and resurrection.


At a time when the modern church faces systemic decline and its own public reckonings, Defrocked offers a raw, soul-searching narrative of failure and redemption. With unflinching honesty, Daniel pulls back the curtain on the crushing reality of denominational politics, exploring how vital victim-protection systems can simultaneously overwhelm the entire church infrastructure.

Inside this powerful spiritual memoir, you will

Ditch A deeply personal account of surviving public scandal, isolation, and institutional judgment.Systemic Hard-earned wisdom for church leaders navigating internal investigations, church politics, and the pursuit of true transparency.Radical The profound realization of who shows up when you fall, and how unexpected guides can help map the way back to faith.A Better A theological framework for a church that moves past rigid judgment to show up for everyone—saints, sinners, and everyone in between because we’re all in the Bad Pastors Club at one time or another.Equal parts heartbreaking, humorous, and deeply insightful, Defrocked reminds us that the ditch is exactly where the gospel speaks most profoundly.


Scroll up, click "Buy Now," and discover why the place of deepest disgrace is often where real, lasting hope begins.

Genres: Religion

207 pages, Paperback

Published May 20, 2026

Reviews

[Laura Kisthardt]

There is a lot of drama in the little church world around this book. Thanks to a friend who preordered the book I was able to read her copy. I would recommend this for extreme church nerds. But the general public probably won’t be interested in this sad story.

[Diann · Rating 1 out of 5]

Poorly written. No remorse. No understanding of the harm done. Poor confidentiality. This book should never have been written.

[Kelly Brill · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lillian Daniel has always been a gifted writer. She shows, in this book, some new and hard-won spiritual gifts as well - namely, vulnerability and humility.
This is the story of loss. Daniel was the Senior Minister of a large United Church of Christ congregation in a Chicago suburb. As she tells it, right around the time her divorce was finalized, she engaged in a sexual relationship with a member of the church staff. That indiscretion was eventually disclosed by the other party, which led to her entering the mysterious and labyrinthine world of church bureaucratic investigation. Her ministerial standing was suspended, she pursued the prescribed “growth plan”, and then her ministerial standing was reinstated. But in the meantime, she was forced to submit her resignation to the congregation. There was no opportunity for explanations, confessions or goodbyes between pastor and congregation.
The story has a happy ending. Daniel went on to serve a UCC congregation in Dubuque, Iowa for seven years and is now the Conference Minister for the UCC in Michigan. She is also married and seems to be thriving in all ways.
I am personally acquainted with Lillian and I know some of the people and congregations in this story. I admire much about this book. As someone who has served on Church and Ministry committees and fitness reviews, I share her belief that the system is deeply flawed. As a clergy person myself, I resonated with many of her experiences. Ministers are supposed to hold boundaries. We’re told to not become friends with our parishioners. But what happens when your actual friends become your parishioners? Is it always wrong to allow closeness to develop between pastor and parishioner?
She lists some of these as learnings: “…being a pastor was not and never should have been my core identity and the center of my relationships.” As she returns to the pastorate, she even tries wearing a collar while working and taking it off when the work day ends - a way to remind herself that her identity as a clergy person is a role. She sought friendships outside the church and developed new interests and hobbies.
I was struck by this quote: “I never caught myself lying about myself as a pastor in my previous positions, but I can recognize there were lies the congregation told about me that I did not correct because they actually served me. Those lies included having a strong and healthy marriage when I didn’t, being happy when I wasn’t, being thick-skinned when I was bleeding, and being transparent when I was hiding my shame.”
Throughout the book, Daniel writes of her desire to live a life “you can shine a light on” but what kind of light? There are parts of our lives that might crave and even deserve the spotlight, but sometimes we want more intimate, gentle, subtle lighting. I found myself wanting still more light from this book. Is there more Lillian could have told us about the “fall from grace” part of her story that would help others, especially those in similar professions? Yet I know how important it is for each individual to be the one deciding which light is right for which occasion.
I received an ARC from NetGalley.

[Judith · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am not a member of UCC clergy but am an involved member of the laity, currently UCC and previously Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) and have served in sensitive matters involving administrative clergy-laity concerns including hiring. This is a challenging aspect of church attending and volunteerism for leadership roles should be carefully considered before participating in it.

I am not sure whether the audience for "Defrocked: Good News From a Bad Pastor for a Better Church" would be laity or my guess those who are considering becoming clergy in the Protestant church. Should a book discussion group result from that career interest group, there are discussion questions at the end of the book.

Thanks to Dr. Daniel and her publisher (Vilicus Press 2026) for being willing to discuss the topic from a personal and professional standpoint.

[Kenneth Feeney · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book in two days. I love the openness Lillian Daniel exhibited by sharing some of her some secret experiences with the reader. It makes me feel like the clergy are real people with real problems.
I say as I was a candidate for the ministry and find fulfillment in the work I do for my local church. And secondly, I am humbled and proud to say Lillian Daniel served a pastoral role for me when I entered her Dubuque church in 2019 after a bruising experience in my former church. I had opportunity to rest under her pastoral care.

[Colleen Cavanaugh · Rating 5 out of 5]

I heard the author speak at a conference a week ago and have just finished the book. She was an impressive speaker, a very down to earth person and I couldn’t wait to read her book. I was just as i pressed with her book. Highly recommend it.

[Ab Weeks · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well written, a quick read, and a great reflection on how the larger church enacts punitive measures and what needs to be changed.

[Alexander · Rating 1 out of 5]

From Lillian Daniel: “In 2015, a Ministerial Fitness Review resulted in the suspension of my ministerial standing from May 19–October 8 during which time I completed a program of growth, to which I remain committed. After that failure, I found my way back to the assurance that I was still (and had always been) beloved by God, but the journey back to the heart of my pastoral vocation took longer. Eventually, I discovered that I did want to be a pastor again but I knew I had to do it differently. When I returned to ministry in Dubuque, Iowa, I approached my calling with more grace, space, and mercy than I had before, not just for myself but for my staff and lay leaders as well. While I would not wish the gift of humiliation on anyone, it has changed me as a pastor. Life is too short for false fronts and sentimental small talk. When I preach about Christ’s love and mercy, I preach as one who has real need of it.”

For abusing her pastoral position to take sexual advantage of her employee, as well as for a self-admitted history of misconduct in her marriage, Rev. Lillian Daniel was asked to resign by her congregation and had her ministerial standing suspended by her denomination for less than five months.

But from being at the mercy of others, she's now attained a more powerful position than before, and she's written this book to control the narrative and to condemn the people (graciously left unnamed, so that only church insiders know who they are) who thought (accurately) that her responses to church discipline were only attempts to, as she personally describes them, "game" the "spiritual system".

She regrets that she committed adultery with someone whose livelihood depended on her good graces - but not because adultery is wrong (she's steadfast that her marriage was "none of their business") or because taking advantage of someone for sex is wrong (it's wrong, she says, if there's a pattern of misdeeds, but doing it just occasionally is fine - as she says repeatedly "It's not like I'm a predator").