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My Ruin, His Madness

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A mad man. A lawyer. And a shadowed monster between them.
But sometimes…sometimes, the real monsters exist in the flesh. Jax and Carter are two stepbrothers. Carter’s father is the Bratva’s strategist and the one who sends him away to Exodus, an asylum, where he dies at eighteen. News of his death leaves Jaxon reeling, feeling betrayed and abandoned, forcing him to run states away from New York. Now, five years later with his own law firm, Jaxon takes his first criminal case since college, coming face to face with the boy he fell in love with…except he’s no longer a boy, but a man. He learns what really happened five years ago and he gets all the answers about Carter he’s ever wanted. Clearing Carter’s name of murder? Easy. Protecting him from his blood thirsty father? Challenging. Can he protect Carter from Alexei…better yet, can he protect Carter from the monster of his own mind?

500 pages, Paperback

Published May 29, 2026

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Soleil Rae

4 books1 follower

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5 stars
3 (27%)
4 stars
2 (18%)
3 stars
3 (27%)
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2 (18%)
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1 (9%)
Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews
Profile Image for Sarah .
140 reviews24 followers
August 7, 2026
I think I was rage reading this book cus there is no other explanation as to why I kept reading while hating every second of it🤬

I felt like the author wanted to include everything in this book to the point it felt like you try to build a puzzle from pieces of different puzzles that don't match at all. Everything felt disjointed.

Actually, it started out fine, regardless of the grammatical errors. I really liked the possessiveness of Jax towards Carter. The way he called him 'baby', protected him and threatened, and I quote " you're mine. I'll rip apart anyone who fucking hurts you with my bare hands." Like I was swooning and I thought it will be a 5 stars book, then everything went downhill so fast:

- So, Carter "dies" at 18 then we move 5 years later, and Jax is a lawyer. Then, it says that Carter and Jax are 26. I mean the math is not mathing at all🤔

- I had to experience the first 16% of the book them being together emotionally and physically. Then, we have the 5 years separation, and when they meet the first time, that very night (21% in), Jax goes out to his frequent sex club where I have to read a long detailed explicit scene of him with Oliver, a regular hookup of his. I'm told in disgusting details how the OM crawls to him and start to give him a bj, how Jax is fucking the OM's mouth, Jax bending him over and fucking him, with no condom as he fills him with the release, with some dirty talk of course🤢🤬

- When Jax and Carter have sex for the first time after that OM delightful action, there is no talk about safety or condom usage. Nop. Nada. Cus who cares about STDs?!🙄 We do find out Carter has not been with anyone at all cus of course one MMC has to stay celibate while the other spend years getting his dick wet🤬

- At 38%, during a spicy scene where Carter is fucking Jax's mouth, Jax's POV is "I quickly realize what Oliver was complaining about the other night." Name me a more turn off than remembering your time with OM while being mid sex with the other MMC😏😡

- The character development felt out of nowhere. 5 years later, Carter is full of tattoos and piercings even a Jacob ladder. Then, we find out he is a top performer at a drag bar where he puts makeup and fake breasts and costume and everything. Then, he is the king of dirty talk in bed. Like everything that happened to him felt like it was written to be written without significance to the story or making the changes fit into it.
Jax was a bodyguard to Hudson (owner of the sex club), then a lawyer with his own firm. Like how? is he 23 or 26? It's so confusing🫤

- At 66%, I have to witness Jax and Carter fucking in one of the rooms in the sex club where Hudson and his husband Quinton join them, and procede into a fuckfest ending with Jax jerking off Hudson while being fucked by Carter who is making out with Quinton who is fucking Hudson.
Then at 96%, the last chapter before the epilogue, also happens to be the night before Jax and Carter's wedding, we have another on page foursome with Hudson and Quinton whom both Jax and Carter feel sexually attracted to. Jax and Hudson enter the private room in sex club to find Carter and Quinton tongue fucking. Then we proceed to another fuckfest where Jax makes out with Hudson while Carter and Quinton are fucking them respectively while also making out with each other. Riveting scene again🤮🤬
When I went back to the content warnings, it lists "few orgy scenes" but no details that there will be sharing or anything, or the fact that even after the couple is very well established and about to get married are going to engage in a foursome🤬

- In the beginning and throughout, we were introduced to Damon as Jax's bestfriend, to later on at 60% being informed that Damon is Carter's cousin. Why wasn't he introduced like that in the beginning as well?!😏
Then at 82%, we got dropped that Damon is in love with Jax and has been all his life. But he is happy for Jax and Carter and wouldn't ruin the friendship.
Then at 85%, Jax attempts to kiss Damon's cheek to calm him down, but Damon was turning around so they end up kissing, where Damon is fucking into Jax's mouth and asking him for just a little longer, and Jax's POV is "it was supposed to be a quick 'I'm here for you' kiss. Not a 'let's make out until both our dicks are hard and pressing against each other' kiss. Not the kind I'm reacting to when I shouldn't be."
After that, it's all good and clear. We are told Jax told Carter about the kiss. But that's it. Nothing else came out of it. So, tell me what was the point of it??!!!!!!😡

- Jax using 'pup' as endearment pet name for Carter should be illegal

- Too many grammatical errors

- Instances where math is not mathing

- Plot is not plotting with too many plot holes or things that don't make sense at all.


Not only I rage read, but I rage wrote this review🤬 I'm still raging😡 I think I have enough rage to last me a lifetime. Sigh😮‍💨

That being said, don't let my rage review prevent you from giving this book a chance.
Profile Image for Shan.
63 reviews7 followers
August 1, 2026
This read had all the elements I like, but didn't deliver. I truly debated between 2 or three stars. Really a 2.5 read. The authors writing style got of my nerves. I hated the grammatical errors from botched/rushed editing. And who tf gives their significant other 'pup' as an endearment pet name? eww. AND THAT SURPRISE CHEATING SCENE TOWARDS THE END WAS SO UNCALLED FOR!
Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews