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The Fatherhood Manifesto: A Defense of Fatherhood - and 50 Practical Tips to be a Better, More Involved Dad
53 pages, Kindle Edition
Published June 7, 2026
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Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews
June 11, 2026
Alex Berenson has a family of three, oldest 13, spaced over seven years. I have had two families of three, spaced over seven and now nine years, first in the United States, the second in Ukraine. One failed, one apparently bound for success. At 53, Alex is exactly as old as I was when my first three were the ages of his. Now, at 83, my second three span just about that same range.
This review is abridged. The full version is on my 600+ reviews here include many on the sexes, evolution, education. Please peruse them; there is not space here to link to all that are relevant.
His milieu is very urban, liberal upper middle-class New York. Mine used to be liberal, upper middle-class Bethesda. I presently live as a retiree in the very different society of Kyiv, Ukraine.
Alex presents fifty observations on fatherhood, with almost all of which I agree. The points that fit within the allowed space are in italic, my observations indented in the following.
Fatherhood is underrated. The American liberal elite enjoys portraying fathers as clueless, or worse. I hope to speak for a practical, no-nonsense style of fathering - not parenting, fathering- that has been under attack for too long.
The models have been broken. They were pretty much intact during my childhood in the 1950s. They came apart with the sexual revolution, the drug revolution, and liberal takeover of academia and government in the 1960s.
Exemplars were scarce in Berenson’s Generation X. They are even more scarce among Millennial dads today.
Berenson’s project must be to resurrect the practices of a mostly vanished era and repudiate the ethos of the present. The woke, victimhood, Millennial and Gen Z ethos.
Two further warnings: my oldest child is only 13, so I cannot know if what I am saying applies to older teens. But at the least, I hope they help you think about your own fathering style, what works and what doesn't for you and your family.
I moved to Ukraine in 2007 actively looking for a traditional wife and a second family. Our son, 14, and daughters 8 and 5 are healthy, normal and pleasant to be around.
The reasons for my divorce and custodial status don't matter, not for this piece.
Though good taste and good sense require that he not to hash them out here, they are very relevant. Many of us get divorced. The factors are very much the issues of the day. Read The Great Feminization, Sexual Utopia in Power, The Marriage Problem and related titles among the reviews.
The core problem is our modern denial that men and women evolved to be different. See this brief video and Male-Female the Evolution of Human Sexual Differences and related books among the reviews.
I mention my status as a single dad only so you know. And although I wouldn't wish my situation on anyone, it has forced me to become a better parent and surely a more aware one.
Berenson’s marriage is relevant. Especially the exceptional revelation that he would up with child custody after 15 years of marriage.
Yet although my situation is somewhat unusual, I hope this advice is relevant to dads in two-parent families as well as those who are divorced and split custody of their children. I believe fatherhood is a fundamentally conservative act.
It is conservative in the true sense of the word. We want to conserve our blood line, our culture and our family. All of which are under attack by those who call themselves liberals.
Fathers aren't just second moms who aren't as good at baking cookies. They can and should play a fundamentally different role.
They can and should play a fundamentally different role. Yes!!! They evolved to fill a different role. They should be permitted to fill that role.
not by sugarcoating life's realities but by acknowledging them while helping his children face them.
There is an evolutionary basis in this. A woman can bear only a few children in her life, but she knows precisely which are hers. A man can father a great many, but in the relaxed sexual ethos of tribal societies, they never knew which were theirs. She favors her kids; his interest is the health of the tribe.
Girls become women on their own.
My strongest disagreement. Throughout evolutionary history both boys and girls have been shaped by the societies to which they belong. As Alex later observes, kids are being shaped to be transexual. Xavier Musk would never have done it on his own. My kids played with Arianna Huffington’s. I strongly suspect that her daughter’s being lesbian is due to the influence of Bethesda society.
Girls are being indoctrinated with feminism. My daughters were started on the pill at 13 “to control acne.” It changes their hormonal balance and leads to antidepressants at a very vulnerable age. They are likewise given HPV vaccines.
Kids are taught the dogma of “toxic masculinity” and “rape culture,” “patriarchy” and the like in their woke schools. Appreciation of motherhood has to be rekindled.
the crisis American boys and young men face, how they have fallen behind women in school and increasingly at work
This is a societal-level problem that deeply affects men. Society discourages men by discriminating against us at every level. This biography provides an amusing account of my own experiences, beginning in the 1970s.
Alex is absolutely right to disparage the hucksters who exploit the incels’ very real plight. It affects many of the men who attended supposedly wonderful private schools with the children of my first family.
But our culture has discouraged fathers - real fathers, real men - from teaching their boys (and girls) the virtues of a more serious and stoic masculinity.
It starts by discouraging men from even trying to cope with women. Discouraging marriage is a second step. Discouraging having kids is a third. Discouraging us from teaching our children is four levels down. Few even get there.
The good news is that there is a large and growing divide between young men and women being reported. For the first time in history, more young men than women want to marry and have children. The bad news is that the women are reportedly uninterested, even more woke.
I count myself blessed - and blessed is not too strong a word - every day to get to spend time with these children.
There is no greater blessing. Per the Bible, “For none of us liveth to himself, and no man dieth to himself.” We are links in the chain of existence, and we have no greater obligation than to pass the gifts we have received down the chain.
[After that introduction] here are 50 lessons about being a dad I have learned over 13 hard but great years
1: Have fun.
My five-year-old loves our absurd morning routine. I lie down on her mattress on the floor and massage her to awaken. When she is ready – a long time – she stretches her feet out, stomach down. I drag her to my room, pick her up by the feet and flop her on her back on my bed, her blankets still firmly in her hand, and bring her clothes. It is totally silly, but we get out of the door on time for the bus.
2: But don't complain.
As noted in 30 below, women evolved to get what they need from men by, among other things, complaining. We men have nobody to complain to. Nobody will care, and it just makes us look weak.
3: Work.
4: Don't do drugs.
My YouTube video about my lifetime experience with drugs skyrocketed me to YouTube fame. Though my message is the same as Alex’s– don’t do it – what viewers liked was the fact that it was Grandpa telling the story. Almost all the comments, and presumably views as well, were by drug users. That’s the audience Berenson must reach. Good luck.
5: Teach your children to respect the Constitution and Bill of Rights,
I am more cynical than Alex. These are 18th century documents that even the authors knew represented an idealized notion of humanity. Edmund Burke was right. What makes a great society is not great documents but the way people treat each other. America is falling away from this Enlightenment ideal, and the English, French and Germans are doing so even more quickly.
6: Read
Reading serves an interesting function. We remember Calvin’s dad, of Calvin and Hobbes, rebelling at being asked to read Hamster Huey and the Gooey Kablooie over again every night. Yes, kids want to do that.
10: Drive carefully;
I hated ferrying my first family around strapped into car seats like sacks of potatoes while I paid attention to the road. I take my young family by bus when I can. I can give them my full attention, and point out polite and obnoxious behavior and attractive or inappropriate dress. This morning my five-year-old corrected my pronunciation as I read Puss in Boots in Ukrainian.
13: If you believe in God, make sure to tell your kids that.
There is a great demand from all quarters for highly intelligent people to fill cubicles. The pay is enticing. American schools have favored girls and pushed them into careers, which often renders girls unfit and unwilling to be wives and mothers and discourages boys from fighting a system that is stacked against them.
Traditional religious concepts of morality and the roles of men and women are very important in forming children.
14 thru 16: Reject "gentle parenting."
Alex addresses this at great length. It ties in with his take on Therapy, No. 41 below, and the attitudes of the AWFUL (Affluent, white, female, urban and liberal) women that dominate his New York world and my former world of Bethesda. Kids need to learn by hard knocks.
18: But do scare your kids about drugs (and alcohol).
Berenson does not connect the dots as he rails against drowning kids in drugs to treat ADHD. My 44-year-old son is living on the streets, suffering from a number of conditions on the autism spectrum that are consistent with vaccine injury as reported by Aaron Siri, Paul Thomas and others.
19: You won't have much to do during the first few months of your first child's life
Gavin deBecker says that a father has a vital role in the first months of life – protecting the newborn from pediatricians who will want to immediately inject Vitamin K and Hep B shots, often giving mom pressure and sometimes without asking.
22: Getting angry with your kids is acceptable,
Expressing anger is different than being angry. Shouting is sometimes necessary. So is spanking. You can do both yet keep control. The kids and you both know it is controlled means of delivering a needed message.
23: Don't make empty threats for misbehavior
Not following through on your threats confuses children and diminishes their respect for you. Do not make threats unless you mean it. And when you do mean it, act. Do not worry about being wrong. They will forgive.
24: Have more than one kid, if at all possible.
Very good advice. Among other things it teaches you humility.
There is a saying that parents of a single child believe it is all environment. Parents to two or more know it is genetics. Judith Rich Harris wrote two wonderful books, Nature vs. Nurture and No Two Alike, on how children develop. Also look at Alison Gopnik’s The Gardener and the Carpenter.
This is a good point to mention the inheritance of intelligence. Research on the subject is rather scant. The best scholars are polymath Stephen Hsu and James Flynn. See my YouTube video “How Smart will your Children Be.”
27: Don't lie.
Ridiculous answers are better than lies. When my daughter asks how much I make, the answer is $53.41. She knows that is not right. The figure is absurd. But she also knows that she will not get the right answer.
They will plague you endlessly for sweets or TV time. The answer is no. They invariably ask “Why?” The answer is “Because no!” When they say, “That’s not an answer.” I reply “Yes, it is. All the answer you are going to get.”
28: Be charitable, and make charity a part of your kids' lives.
Real charity is hard to do. Witness the disastrous evolution of the Ford Foundation, MacArthur Foundation, Rockefeller and Carnegie foundations into woke piggybanks.
I volunteered overseas with Habitat for Humanity for five summers 1998-2002. It was an opportunity to give money to deserving people, yes, but also to travel, speak Spanish and Portuguese, learn useful building skills and other cultures. My kids and I traveled and gave money to, projects in Nicaragua, Peru, Honduras and Haiti.
30: As you know, this guide is about fatherhood, not marriage.
I say in my YouTube video “Men and women an Evolutionary View” that women evolved to fill different roles. Men are the protectors and providers. Leaders and decision makers. Women, as Alex says, are the comforters, healers and homemakers.
i>34, Don't be a clotheshorse or worry too much about your looks.
Looks are important to a woman. She should be natural. No bee-sting, duck lips. No Botox or silicon. Dress modestly and neatly. Avoid trends. Avoid Lady Gaga. A man is attracted to a woman who looks comfortable in her own skin. Who attracts rather than demands attention.
A woman’s most attractive features are a pleasant face, graceful movement and a trim figure. Fifty-some years ago my French girlfriend Lilianne told me that a proper Parisienne can look becoming in a flour sack.
35: But do stay in shape.
As I write this review, at 83, I am still able to run with the girls to catch buses, swim in our local river, and outwalk them. I have never been much of an athlete, but have faithfully used an exercise bike.
Don’t complain. Complaining is for women. They do it naturally, all the time. A dad should be stoic. I acknowledge that I don't run as fast as I used to. Just do it.
36: Speaking of aging, build the strongest possible relationship between your children and your (and your spouse's) parents.
The kids learn respect. They also learn about foibles. Older people are quirky.
Grandpa lived with us the last year of his life. The kids got to observe how he retreated into alcohol as Grandma nagged him about everything. They also learned to appreciate hearing his stories of growing up in Siberia, and Grandma’s about her kulak grandparents to were killed in the Holodomor.
37: Let your children know the transgender nonsense is exactly that.
Do not underestimate the power of the schools and popular culture to encourage children to try homosexuality.
Some of my American family's playmates had effete mannerisms by the age of ten and turned out gay. But not nearly as many as later found it fashionable. Don't be afraid to emphasize what normalcy is. By the way, none of the children in my kids' Ukrainian schools identify as gay. The gays in society are mostly quite open, not stigmatized. But being gay is not celebrated as "a thing" in school. Nor is sex in general. They are there to study.
Gays have always attempted to seduce boys. See the 1950s NAMBLA, referenced above. Warn your boys.
Love is something that teenagers have never understood well. I will tell my daughters not to let anybody tell them who they ought to love - male or female.
We need to downplay sex. The great mystery. The grand allure. Tell them that everybody learns the wisdom of old songs. Peggy Lee singing "Is that all there is?" Joni Mitchell singing "Clouds." Love and sex are different things, and love changes over time. It is a matter of respect. Marriage is marriage, whether arranged or for love. It takes work and respect.
The misconception that sex and love are the same thing will lead to a lot of disappointment. It is vitally important that a girl have a solid, committed relationship before sex enters into it. The way it used to be, as I write in this review of Pride and Prejudice.
41: Avoid therapy at all costs.
Every member of my failed first family had lots of therapy. The successful children of my present family have no idea even what it is.
I tried it myself. They gave me Prozac. Wrong! What cured my depression was a divorce. I threw the Prozac in the toilet after about three months.
45: don't spend a lot of time commenting on or complimenting your children's appearance
Our girls’ fancy clothes are Ukrainian vyshyvankas – traditional dress they can wear when singing and dancing. Mom has a few very nice ones, and as well the figure and the grace to wear them well. It is a way for the girls to look good and express who they are all at once.
46: Do talk about politics and current events with them, though.
My kids know what I think and why I think it. About global warming, the Russians, vaccines, men and women, gays, social media. But they also know that I am open to discuss anything and respect their opinions.
50: Let your kids explore on their own.
In a safe city like Kyiv, it is normal for my 8-year-old daughter to ride the bus to school. Immensely freeing. Though they are intricately tied to kids' freedom and safety, Berenson’s fifty points assiduously avoid questions of diversity. But The fact that everybody on public transit is a Ukrainian, and Ukrainians will defend other people’s children, is vastly important.
I love it when grandmothers scold me for letting my daughters stand too close to the edge of the metro platform or underdress for the weather. They care! I accept their advice, good or bad, with good humor.
Berenson, who was incredibly brave and on target in taking on the huge Covid establishment, does not mention the equally powerful and nefarious pediatric and educational establishments. The American Pediatric Association employs Mafia-like techniques to squelch doctors who question childhood vaccines. It turns out that giving shots is a major source of income for pediatricians, and any who would break the rice bowl by questioning them, such as Paul Thomas, are severely punished. All you will hear from the establishment is “safe and effective.” The same lie as they used with covid. Berenson should caution parents to do their own research. The doctors are brainwashed and compromised.
The corruption of the K-12 educational establishment – college too, for that matter – has been addressed by many books over the years. Among the best of the early ones reviewed here were by John Gatto and Diane Ravich. Almost all teachers in both private and public schools have graduated from teacher’s colleges, which are hotbeds of woke sentiment. Many belong to the equally woke, and controlling, American Federation of Teachers and National Education Association. Though Berenson is in no positi
This review is abridged. The full version is on my 600+ reviews here include many on the sexes, evolution, education. Please peruse them; there is not space here to link to all that are relevant.
His milieu is very urban, liberal upper middle-class New York. Mine used to be liberal, upper middle-class Bethesda. I presently live as a retiree in the very different society of Kyiv, Ukraine.
Alex presents fifty observations on fatherhood, with almost all of which I agree. The points that fit within the allowed space are in italic, my observations indented in the following.
Fatherhood is underrated. The American liberal elite enjoys portraying fathers as clueless, or worse. I hope to speak for a practical, no-nonsense style of fathering - not parenting, fathering- that has been under attack for too long.
The models have been broken. They were pretty much intact during my childhood in the 1950s. They came apart with the sexual revolution, the drug revolution, and liberal takeover of academia and government in the 1960s.
Exemplars were scarce in Berenson’s Generation X. They are even more scarce among Millennial dads today.
Berenson’s project must be to resurrect the practices of a mostly vanished era and repudiate the ethos of the present. The woke, victimhood, Millennial and Gen Z ethos.
Two further warnings: my oldest child is only 13, so I cannot know if what I am saying applies to older teens. But at the least, I hope they help you think about your own fathering style, what works and what doesn't for you and your family.
I moved to Ukraine in 2007 actively looking for a traditional wife and a second family. Our son, 14, and daughters 8 and 5 are healthy, normal and pleasant to be around.
The reasons for my divorce and custodial status don't matter, not for this piece.
Though good taste and good sense require that he not to hash them out here, they are very relevant. Many of us get divorced. The factors are very much the issues of the day. Read The Great Feminization, Sexual Utopia in Power, The Marriage Problem and related titles among the reviews.
The core problem is our modern denial that men and women evolved to be different. See this brief video and Male-Female the Evolution of Human Sexual Differences and related books among the reviews.
I mention my status as a single dad only so you know. And although I wouldn't wish my situation on anyone, it has forced me to become a better parent and surely a more aware one.
Berenson’s marriage is relevant. Especially the exceptional revelation that he would up with child custody after 15 years of marriage.
Yet although my situation is somewhat unusual, I hope this advice is relevant to dads in two-parent families as well as those who are divorced and split custody of their children. I believe fatherhood is a fundamentally conservative act.
It is conservative in the true sense of the word. We want to conserve our blood line, our culture and our family. All of which are under attack by those who call themselves liberals.
Fathers aren't just second moms who aren't as good at baking cookies. They can and should play a fundamentally different role.
They can and should play a fundamentally different role. Yes!!! They evolved to fill a different role. They should be permitted to fill that role.
not by sugarcoating life's realities but by acknowledging them while helping his children face them.
There is an evolutionary basis in this. A woman can bear only a few children in her life, but she knows precisely which are hers. A man can father a great many, but in the relaxed sexual ethos of tribal societies, they never knew which were theirs. She favors her kids; his interest is the health of the tribe.
Girls become women on their own.
My strongest disagreement. Throughout evolutionary history both boys and girls have been shaped by the societies to which they belong. As Alex later observes, kids are being shaped to be transexual. Xavier Musk would never have done it on his own. My kids played with Arianna Huffington’s. I strongly suspect that her daughter’s being lesbian is due to the influence of Bethesda society.
Girls are being indoctrinated with feminism. My daughters were started on the pill at 13 “to control acne.” It changes their hormonal balance and leads to antidepressants at a very vulnerable age. They are likewise given HPV vaccines.
Kids are taught the dogma of “toxic masculinity” and “rape culture,” “patriarchy” and the like in their woke schools. Appreciation of motherhood has to be rekindled.
the crisis American boys and young men face, how they have fallen behind women in school and increasingly at work
This is a societal-level problem that deeply affects men. Society discourages men by discriminating against us at every level. This biography provides an amusing account of my own experiences, beginning in the 1970s.
Alex is absolutely right to disparage the hucksters who exploit the incels’ very real plight. It affects many of the men who attended supposedly wonderful private schools with the children of my first family.
But our culture has discouraged fathers - real fathers, real men - from teaching their boys (and girls) the virtues of a more serious and stoic masculinity.
It starts by discouraging men from even trying to cope with women. Discouraging marriage is a second step. Discouraging having kids is a third. Discouraging us from teaching our children is four levels down. Few even get there.
The good news is that there is a large and growing divide between young men and women being reported. For the first time in history, more young men than women want to marry and have children. The bad news is that the women are reportedly uninterested, even more woke.
I count myself blessed - and blessed is not too strong a word - every day to get to spend time with these children.
There is no greater blessing. Per the Bible, “For none of us liveth to himself, and no man dieth to himself.” We are links in the chain of existence, and we have no greater obligation than to pass the gifts we have received down the chain.
[After that introduction] here are 50 lessons about being a dad I have learned over 13 hard but great years
1: Have fun.
My five-year-old loves our absurd morning routine. I lie down on her mattress on the floor and massage her to awaken. When she is ready – a long time – she stretches her feet out, stomach down. I drag her to my room, pick her up by the feet and flop her on her back on my bed, her blankets still firmly in her hand, and bring her clothes. It is totally silly, but we get out of the door on time for the bus.
2: But don't complain.
As noted in 30 below, women evolved to get what they need from men by, among other things, complaining. We men have nobody to complain to. Nobody will care, and it just makes us look weak.
3: Work.
4: Don't do drugs.
My YouTube video about my lifetime experience with drugs skyrocketed me to YouTube fame. Though my message is the same as Alex’s– don’t do it – what viewers liked was the fact that it was Grandpa telling the story. Almost all the comments, and presumably views as well, were by drug users. That’s the audience Berenson must reach. Good luck.
5: Teach your children to respect the Constitution and Bill of Rights,
I am more cynical than Alex. These are 18th century documents that even the authors knew represented an idealized notion of humanity. Edmund Burke was right. What makes a great society is not great documents but the way people treat each other. America is falling away from this Enlightenment ideal, and the English, French and Germans are doing so even more quickly.
6: Read
Reading serves an interesting function. We remember Calvin’s dad, of Calvin and Hobbes, rebelling at being asked to read Hamster Huey and the Gooey Kablooie over again every night. Yes, kids want to do that.
10: Drive carefully;
I hated ferrying my first family around strapped into car seats like sacks of potatoes while I paid attention to the road. I take my young family by bus when I can. I can give them my full attention, and point out polite and obnoxious behavior and attractive or inappropriate dress. This morning my five-year-old corrected my pronunciation as I read Puss in Boots in Ukrainian.
13: If you believe in God, make sure to tell your kids that.
There is a great demand from all quarters for highly intelligent people to fill cubicles. The pay is enticing. American schools have favored girls and pushed them into careers, which often renders girls unfit and unwilling to be wives and mothers and discourages boys from fighting a system that is stacked against them.
Traditional religious concepts of morality and the roles of men and women are very important in forming children.
14 thru 16: Reject "gentle parenting."
Alex addresses this at great length. It ties in with his take on Therapy, No. 41 below, and the attitudes of the AWFUL (Affluent, white, female, urban and liberal) women that dominate his New York world and my former world of Bethesda. Kids need to learn by hard knocks.
18: But do scare your kids about drugs (and alcohol).
Berenson does not connect the dots as he rails against drowning kids in drugs to treat ADHD. My 44-year-old son is living on the streets, suffering from a number of conditions on the autism spectrum that are consistent with vaccine injury as reported by Aaron Siri, Paul Thomas and others.
19: You won't have much to do during the first few months of your first child's life
Gavin deBecker says that a father has a vital role in the first months of life – protecting the newborn from pediatricians who will want to immediately inject Vitamin K and Hep B shots, often giving mom pressure and sometimes without asking.
22: Getting angry with your kids is acceptable,
Expressing anger is different than being angry. Shouting is sometimes necessary. So is spanking. You can do both yet keep control. The kids and you both know it is controlled means of delivering a needed message.
23: Don't make empty threats for misbehavior
Not following through on your threats confuses children and diminishes their respect for you. Do not make threats unless you mean it. And when you do mean it, act. Do not worry about being wrong. They will forgive.
24: Have more than one kid, if at all possible.
Very good advice. Among other things it teaches you humility.
There is a saying that parents of a single child believe it is all environment. Parents to two or more know it is genetics. Judith Rich Harris wrote two wonderful books, Nature vs. Nurture and No Two Alike, on how children develop. Also look at Alison Gopnik’s The Gardener and the Carpenter.
This is a good point to mention the inheritance of intelligence. Research on the subject is rather scant. The best scholars are polymath Stephen Hsu and James Flynn. See my YouTube video “How Smart will your Children Be.”
27: Don't lie.
Ridiculous answers are better than lies. When my daughter asks how much I make, the answer is $53.41. She knows that is not right. The figure is absurd. But she also knows that she will not get the right answer.
They will plague you endlessly for sweets or TV time. The answer is no. They invariably ask “Why?” The answer is “Because no!” When they say, “That’s not an answer.” I reply “Yes, it is. All the answer you are going to get.”
28: Be charitable, and make charity a part of your kids' lives.
Real charity is hard to do. Witness the disastrous evolution of the Ford Foundation, MacArthur Foundation, Rockefeller and Carnegie foundations into woke piggybanks.
I volunteered overseas with Habitat for Humanity for five summers 1998-2002. It was an opportunity to give money to deserving people, yes, but also to travel, speak Spanish and Portuguese, learn useful building skills and other cultures. My kids and I traveled and gave money to, projects in Nicaragua, Peru, Honduras and Haiti.
30: As you know, this guide is about fatherhood, not marriage.
I say in my YouTube video “Men and women an Evolutionary View” that women evolved to fill different roles. Men are the protectors and providers. Leaders and decision makers. Women, as Alex says, are the comforters, healers and homemakers.
i>34, Don't be a clotheshorse or worry too much about your looks.
Looks are important to a woman. She should be natural. No bee-sting, duck lips. No Botox or silicon. Dress modestly and neatly. Avoid trends. Avoid Lady Gaga. A man is attracted to a woman who looks comfortable in her own skin. Who attracts rather than demands attention.
A woman’s most attractive features are a pleasant face, graceful movement and a trim figure. Fifty-some years ago my French girlfriend Lilianne told me that a proper Parisienne can look becoming in a flour sack.
35: But do stay in shape.
As I write this review, at 83, I am still able to run with the girls to catch buses, swim in our local river, and outwalk them. I have never been much of an athlete, but have faithfully used an exercise bike.
Don’t complain. Complaining is for women. They do it naturally, all the time. A dad should be stoic. I acknowledge that I don't run as fast as I used to. Just do it.
36: Speaking of aging, build the strongest possible relationship between your children and your (and your spouse's) parents.
The kids learn respect. They also learn about foibles. Older people are quirky.
Grandpa lived with us the last year of his life. The kids got to observe how he retreated into alcohol as Grandma nagged him about everything. They also learned to appreciate hearing his stories of growing up in Siberia, and Grandma’s about her kulak grandparents to were killed in the Holodomor.
37: Let your children know the transgender nonsense is exactly that.
Do not underestimate the power of the schools and popular culture to encourage children to try homosexuality.
Some of my American family's playmates had effete mannerisms by the age of ten and turned out gay. But not nearly as many as later found it fashionable. Don't be afraid to emphasize what normalcy is. By the way, none of the children in my kids' Ukrainian schools identify as gay. The gays in society are mostly quite open, not stigmatized. But being gay is not celebrated as "a thing" in school. Nor is sex in general. They are there to study.
Gays have always attempted to seduce boys. See the 1950s NAMBLA, referenced above. Warn your boys.
Love is something that teenagers have never understood well. I will tell my daughters not to let anybody tell them who they ought to love - male or female.
We need to downplay sex. The great mystery. The grand allure. Tell them that everybody learns the wisdom of old songs. Peggy Lee singing "Is that all there is?" Joni Mitchell singing "Clouds." Love and sex are different things, and love changes over time. It is a matter of respect. Marriage is marriage, whether arranged or for love. It takes work and respect.
The misconception that sex and love are the same thing will lead to a lot of disappointment. It is vitally important that a girl have a solid, committed relationship before sex enters into it. The way it used to be, as I write in this review of Pride and Prejudice.
41: Avoid therapy at all costs.
Every member of my failed first family had lots of therapy. The successful children of my present family have no idea even what it is.
I tried it myself. They gave me Prozac. Wrong! What cured my depression was a divorce. I threw the Prozac in the toilet after about three months.
45: don't spend a lot of time commenting on or complimenting your children's appearance
Our girls’ fancy clothes are Ukrainian vyshyvankas – traditional dress they can wear when singing and dancing. Mom has a few very nice ones, and as well the figure and the grace to wear them well. It is a way for the girls to look good and express who they are all at once.
46: Do talk about politics and current events with them, though.
My kids know what I think and why I think it. About global warming, the Russians, vaccines, men and women, gays, social media. But they also know that I am open to discuss anything and respect their opinions.
50: Let your kids explore on their own.
In a safe city like Kyiv, it is normal for my 8-year-old daughter to ride the bus to school. Immensely freeing. Though they are intricately tied to kids' freedom and safety, Berenson’s fifty points assiduously avoid questions of diversity. But The fact that everybody on public transit is a Ukrainian, and Ukrainians will defend other people’s children, is vastly important.
I love it when grandmothers scold me for letting my daughters stand too close to the edge of the metro platform or underdress for the weather. They care! I accept their advice, good or bad, with good humor.
Berenson, who was incredibly brave and on target in taking on the huge Covid establishment, does not mention the equally powerful and nefarious pediatric and educational establishments. The American Pediatric Association employs Mafia-like techniques to squelch doctors who question childhood vaccines. It turns out that giving shots is a major source of income for pediatricians, and any who would break the rice bowl by questioning them, such as Paul Thomas, are severely punished. All you will hear from the establishment is “safe and effective.” The same lie as they used with covid. Berenson should caution parents to do their own research. The doctors are brainwashed and compromised.
The corruption of the K-12 educational establishment – college too, for that matter – has been addressed by many books over the years. Among the best of the early ones reviewed here were by John Gatto and Diane Ravich. Almost all teachers in both private and public schools have graduated from teacher’s colleges, which are hotbeds of woke sentiment. Many belong to the equally woke, and controlling, American Federation of Teachers and National Education Association. Though Berenson is in no positi
June 10, 2026
a nice quick read
The advice given used to be considered common sense. It is crazy how quickly it has been lost. I grew up in a time and family where the men worked and provided and all the caretaking was left to mothers. It left me jaded as to how important fathers are. Then I had two sons. Fathers are as important as mothers when they are good fathers. This pamphlet lists most of the basic principles for being a good father.
The advice given used to be considered common sense. It is crazy how quickly it has been lost. I grew up in a time and family where the men worked and provided and all the caretaking was left to mothers. It left me jaded as to how important fathers are. Then I had two sons. Fathers are as important as mothers when they are good fathers. This pamphlet lists most of the basic principles for being a good father.
June 12, 2026
A Book The Country Needs Right Now!
At a time when fathers (men in general) are dismissed as unnecessary or even toxic, this book comes along with guidelines to being a good father. There’s nothing earth-shaking in here. I think most honest people will read it and think “sure, that just makes sense.” I can say, as both a father of two grown men and a teacher of 36 years, I see the needed path to success in these pages.
At a time when fathers (men in general) are dismissed as unnecessary or even toxic, this book comes along with guidelines to being a good father. There’s nothing earth-shaking in here. I think most honest people will read it and think “sure, that just makes sense.” I can say, as both a father of two grown men and a teacher of 36 years, I see the needed path to success in these pages.
June 8, 2026
Excellent summary of how to be a great dad.
Common sense in a world gone mad. Not just for dads, but good advice for everyone. Anyone who takes issue with any of Alex's points, is hopelessly infected with wokeism.
Common sense in a world gone mad. Not just for dads, but good advice for everyone. Anyone who takes issue with any of Alex's points, is hopelessly infected with wokeism.
June 16, 2026
common sense fathering
Nothing in here is shocking or new and yet it comes at a time when not all of the advice given is recognized any longer as good, old fashioned common sense. It’s a quick read, but the application will take quite a bit longer.
Nothing in here is shocking or new and yet it comes at a time when not all of the advice given is recognized any longer as good, old fashioned common sense. It’s a quick read, but the application will take quite a bit longer.
June 20, 2026
I'm a big Berenson fan both as a fiction author and a columnist. This is a simple quick common sense primer addressing the degradation of masculinity in our culture. I had recently read Notes in Being a Man by Scott Galloway. Both authors are addressing a difficult subject in an intelligent manner.
June 17, 2026
Wise and pithy.
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