Man, Woman, and the Meaning of Love: God's Plan for Love, Marriage, Intimacy, and the Family

by Dietrich von Hildebrand

These days, it's hard for anyone - even the most faithful Catholic - to avoid absorbing at least some of the poisonous assumptions about love, marriage, and sex that are retailed by our hedonistic secular culture. But in Man, Woman, and the Meaning of Love, Dietrich von Hildebrand rescues love from its dreary captivity to talk-show hucksters and pop psychology gurus. With impressive clarity and insightfulness, he shows the fullness of the Christian splendor of love, marriage, and sex. Von Hildebrand explains the fundamentals of love that have been almost completely forgotten in the secular world, and are in danger of being lost even among many Catholics - including the very nature and meaning of love as God intended it to be. With remarkable practical simplicity, he then shows you how these basic truths apply to your marriage, family life, and friendships - helping you to make them what they ought to be in God's sight. Brief enough to read in one sitting but full of enough wisdom for a lifetime, Man, Woman, and the Meaning of Love gives you a sweeping, inspiring vision of Christian love. Von Hildebrand's approach is deeply imbued with his awareness of the sacramental dignity of marriage, and of how the Church's teachings on sexuality - even the most controversial - all flow from her profound understanding of love. With moving fervor, he details the new depth of freedom we acquire in loving another person, as well as the "mission" spouses have to each other, and what it demands. Von Hildebrand also shows you how to spot the signs of false love. Fearlessly and incisively, he exposes the many false notions of love that abound today - including an approach to love that is widespread among Christians and yet almost always ends in failure. Nor does he stop there! He points out other common pitfalls, including basic errors concerning the meaning and value of marriage. He even reveals the mistakes that many Christian authors make about marital sexuality! All this and more makes Man, Woman, and the Meaning of Love a valuable weapon in your efforts to take back the culture for Christ - and a handy tool to help you improve your marriage and communicate the Church's wonderful vision of love to your children.

Genres: Philosophy, Relationships, Marriage, Christian, Christianity, Religion, Theology

127 pages, Paperback

First published March 1, 1983

About the author

Dietrich von Hildebrand was a German Catholic philosopher and theologian who was called (informally) by Pope Pius XII "the 20th Century Doctor of the Church."

Pope John Paul II greatly admired the work of von Hildebrand, remarking once to von Hildebrand's widow, Alice von Hildebrand, "Your husband is one of the great ethicists of the twentieth century." Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI has a particular admiration and regard for Dietrich von Hildebrand, whom he already knew as a young priest in Munich. In fact, as young Fr. Ratzinger, he even served as an assistant pastor in the church of St. Georg in Munich, which von Hildebrand frequented in the 1950s and 1960s. It was also in St. Georg that Dietrich and Alice von Hildebrand were married.

The degree of Pope Benedict's esteem is expressed in one of his statements about von Hildebrand, "When the intellectual history of the Catholic Church in the twentieth century is written, the name of Dietrich von Hildebrand will be most prominent among the figures of our time." Von Hildebrand was a vocal critic of the changes in the church brought by the Second Vatican Council. He especially resented the new liturgy. Of it he said "Truly, if one of the devils in C.S. Lewis' The Screwtape Letters had been entrusted with the ruin of the liturgy, he could not have done it better."

Von Hildebrand died in New Rochelle, New York, in 1977.

Reviews

[Václav Kubíček · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hildebrand does a very important job in defending the true grandeur of spousal love. He makes his case against reductionist view of sexuality and abuse of great value of human person. I found it deep in insight but sometimes the book lacks argumentative clarity. It is rather a spiritual book than philosophical tractate as it is intended.

“Love is responsiveness to value we find in beloved. Not in any means we are using those valuable qualities as means, rather we enjoy them for their sake.”

[Dominik · Rating 5 out of 5]

Incredibly rich.

[Jonah Peleus · Rating 4 out of 5]

A worthy, and down-to-earth but insightful summary of the Church's teaching on the beauty of marriage, and more generally, of the meaning of what it is to be a human person as man or as woman. A highly recommended book, brief and an enjoyable read, suitable for anyone, especially couples preparing for marriage, young adults, and those wanting to deepen their theological and philosophical appreciation of the complementarity of the sexes. The moral issues of sexuality are raised in the context of a positive affirmation of human sexuality, a guide for a pastoral approach to these issues today.

Von Hildebrand adopts a personalist anthropology, informed by Thomist-Aristotelian metaphysics, but he is by no means proficient in this respect, adept rather in his penchant for phenomenology. I appreciated his intent to challenge certain classical anthropological understandings (e.g., of the faculties of the soul, what affectivity means spiritually), but feel he is wanting in this area. Introducing new categories and distinctions (e.g., between, instrumental finality, and superabundant finality) is certainly helpful for elucidating his point, but not exactly metaphysically precise. In other words, this is a worthy read, rich with insight, but a fair bit of distilling and refining its philosophy would be needed to incorporate his insights into a cohesive philosophical anthropology.

[Sami · Rating 5 out of 5]

Simply beautiful. Theology of the Body-esque with concepts to ponder over well after all's said and done.

[Julia Galvin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Insightful and experientially true, but like most books of its type, lots of unsubstantiated claims. Still, I think it's very worth reading!