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re:raptured
Professional quarterback Ted Strongbow is an evangelical heartthrob with hordes of fans. Dr. Tim Van Shrimpy is a self-styled end-times expert with his own popular TV show. Rev. Lewis Ironsides is a pastor with a plan to re-settle Nebraska as a Christian utopia. Kate Russel is a reporter who just wants a big story. Alex is a college student, who just wants Kate.
Oh, and they're all convinced that today is the Apocalypse: the rapture, fulfilled prophesies, geopolitical mayhem, fire and brimstone. But if you really know what you want, a little thing like Armageddon can't hold you down.
Oh, and they're all convinced that today is the Apocalypse: the rapture, fulfilled prophesies, geopolitical mayhem, fire and brimstone. But if you really know what you want, a little thing like Armageddon can't hold you down.
198 pages, Kindle Edition
First published March 26, 2015
4 people are currently reading
8 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews
June 28, 2021
2021 Reading Challenge - A book with a one-word title
August 29, 2017
I usually don't make big pronouncements, but this book is the next great American novel. I read it during Gut Check Literacy month, which took approximately one year. And when I say read, I mean I listened to it during episodes of the Gut Check Podcast. This book made me laugh, cry, and sit back and ponder life. You can currently buy this ebook for $5.99 on Amazon (Ted and Zach's favorite local bookstore). What a deal!! Now just because I didn't buy it and chose to listen to it at the end of many Gut Check Podcast episodes, doesn't mean that you should do the same. Support these guys because great minds like this need to eat too.
Private Bradley, Gut Check Army
Private Bradley, Gut Check Army
July 21, 2015
Ted Kluck has written and collaborated on a number of books, but his name isn’t on the book I heard him recommend last month and consequently purchased. That book comes from Ted’s media empire, Gut Check Press. It’s re:raptured by Committee. Exactly who wrote it is being withheld, no doubt pending Congressional subpoena, but I think Ted had a hand in it. Maybe even a foot.
The story begins with a young Episcopal priest getting his lights dashed by Tim Van Shrimpy, “Bible Scholar.” The reason Van Shrimpy is rampaging around beating up people is still unclear to me, but realism was sold out when this tale was typed up. Ted Strongbow is a football superstar with few real skills (wait, is this part straight-up parody of actual people?). Rev. Lewis Ironsides has written the book Exactly How to Look and Exactly What to Say If You Want to Marry My Daughter Carol-Anne, which, he says, isn’t exactly arranging her marriage, but it’s a hot item among controlling homeschool moms with eligible sons.
It takes place in a world that has The Honorable Philip Yancey Hospital housed within the Dynex/Lifeway/Excellence in Christian Publishing Kilometer High Stadium, home to the Denver Values football team (Strongbow’s team). The story takes up a whole handful of characters in short, often choppy, scenes that flow together just like the end-times thrillers it intends to skewer. What is bringing all these people together? Their loyalty of dispensational end-times teaching and the belief that they need to be in place before the rapture occurs. But are they mobilizing to be in place to usher in or ward off the rapture?
Speaking of blowing things out of proportion. If it were a movie there would be a rotating camera shot above the gnurled oak room table in the compound of one Jim Townsend at which (table) two men — Townsend and Ironsides — appear to be deadlocked in a game of “Settlers of Catan” which is a popular board game in Evangelical circles but is also the way that Townsend and Ironsides are planning for the future of the state of Nebraska. By basing the future of the state on the board game, Townsend and Ironsides figure (somewhat logically, if you can believe it) that life will be like the game meaning that life will be “hours of fun for the whole family” meaning that building fires and threshing wheat and trying to raise livestock will be an “enjoyable game of strategy and chance” rather than the drudgery that it actually is.
All of this may lead you to think this is a humorous, perhaps harsh, criticism of dispensationalism, but I assure you it’s only a light poke in the ribs. Look at me. I have my serious face on when I say this is a very silly book. The closest line you get to deep theology is this internal question from one character: “If you’ve already missed the dead being raptured and then you die during the main rapture, is it possible to fall through the cracks?” This book can’t even take itself seriously much less present a serious theological thought, so don’t worry about coming across any real jabs at pretribulationism and related theology.
Re:raptured is pretty funny, but it’s unpolished enough to make me wonder if certain quirks are subtle jokes or actual mistakes. And there appear to be large mound of inside jokes, some of which I assume would be understood by readers with theology education or readers of end-times thrillers. All of the jokes are constant and irreverent but clean. The only ones that got old for me were about the dwarf. (Note to Committee: the dwarf/short/midget jokes were lame by the second page.)
Originally posted on Brandywinebooks.net.
The story begins with a young Episcopal priest getting his lights dashed by Tim Van Shrimpy, “Bible Scholar.” The reason Van Shrimpy is rampaging around beating up people is still unclear to me, but realism was sold out when this tale was typed up. Ted Strongbow is a football superstar with few real skills (wait, is this part straight-up parody of actual people?). Rev. Lewis Ironsides has written the book Exactly How to Look and Exactly What to Say If You Want to Marry My Daughter Carol-Anne, which, he says, isn’t exactly arranging her marriage, but it’s a hot item among controlling homeschool moms with eligible sons.
It takes place in a world that has The Honorable Philip Yancey Hospital housed within the Dynex/Lifeway/Excellence in Christian Publishing Kilometer High Stadium, home to the Denver Values football team (Strongbow’s team). The story takes up a whole handful of characters in short, often choppy, scenes that flow together just like the end-times thrillers it intends to skewer. What is bringing all these people together? Their loyalty of dispensational end-times teaching and the belief that they need to be in place before the rapture occurs. But are they mobilizing to be in place to usher in or ward off the rapture?
Speaking of blowing things out of proportion. If it were a movie there would be a rotating camera shot above the gnurled oak room table in the compound of one Jim Townsend at which (table) two men — Townsend and Ironsides — appear to be deadlocked in a game of “Settlers of Catan” which is a popular board game in Evangelical circles but is also the way that Townsend and Ironsides are planning for the future of the state of Nebraska. By basing the future of the state on the board game, Townsend and Ironsides figure (somewhat logically, if you can believe it) that life will be like the game meaning that life will be “hours of fun for the whole family” meaning that building fires and threshing wheat and trying to raise livestock will be an “enjoyable game of strategy and chance” rather than the drudgery that it actually is.
All of this may lead you to think this is a humorous, perhaps harsh, criticism of dispensationalism, but I assure you it’s only a light poke in the ribs. Look at me. I have my serious face on when I say this is a very silly book. The closest line you get to deep theology is this internal question from one character: “If you’ve already missed the dead being raptured and then you die during the main rapture, is it possible to fall through the cracks?” This book can’t even take itself seriously much less present a serious theological thought, so don’t worry about coming across any real jabs at pretribulationism and related theology.
Re:raptured is pretty funny, but it’s unpolished enough to make me wonder if certain quirks are subtle jokes or actual mistakes. And there appear to be large mound of inside jokes, some of which I assume would be understood by readers with theology education or readers of end-times thrillers. All of the jokes are constant and irreverent but clean. The only ones that got old for me were about the dwarf. (Note to Committee: the dwarf/short/midget jokes were lame by the second page.)
Originally posted on Brandywinebooks.net.
September 6, 2015
A Barrel of Armageddon Laughs
A side-splitting satire of Rapture Hysteria with zany but all-too-real characters, heart-pounding action, off-the-wall end time dialogue, and Dewar's. Lots of Dewar's. The vibe is akin to the most hilarious conversation you've ever had with all of your best friends at a great party.
"It's all happening." Don't get left behind.
A side-splitting satire of Rapture Hysteria with zany but all-too-real characters, heart-pounding action, off-the-wall end time dialogue, and Dewar's. Lots of Dewar's. The vibe is akin to the most hilarious conversation you've ever had with all of your best friends at a great party.
"It's all happening." Don't get left behind.
May 3, 2015
Good not great.
"Kate reaches into her attaché and pulls out a small video iPod, chock full of James White lectures, Frank Turk articles, and Kim Riddlebarger’s entire Eschatology 101 series."
"Kate reaches into her attaché and pulls out a small video iPod, chock full of James White lectures, Frank Turk articles, and Kim Riddlebarger’s entire Eschatology 101 series."
January 2, 2016
Hilarious niche of a niche
Dispensational thriller at its finest, the great American novel that my grandchildren will be assigned as required reading in home school.
Dispensational thriller at its finest, the great American novel that my grandchildren will be assigned as required reading in home school.
May 1, 2016
Hilarious
The irony; The satire; The characters; The story; The words; All so very funny. Stop what you are doing, buy this, and read it right now!
The irony; The satire; The characters; The story; The words; All so very funny. Stop what you are doing, buy this, and read it right now!
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May 10, 2019I can't even rate this book.
Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews