Too Wise to Be Mistaken, Too Good to Be Unkind: Christian Parents Contend With Autism

by Cathy Steere

A book with a different perspective on the subject of autism than you'll normally find. In Too Wise to be Mistaken, Too Good to Be Unkind, you will join David, Cathy, and Drew Steere on their difficult, yet remarkable journey into the complex world of autism.

More than a "how-to" manual on dealing with a special needs child, this is the heartwarming testimony of two parents who placed their trust in their faithful Heavenly Father and lovingly persevered in training Drew in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. A powerful testimony to the sufficiency of Scripture in all of life.

Genres: Counselling, Biography, Autistic Spectrum Disorder

192 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1999

Reviews

[Krista]

I was inspired by this story!! This book is about parents raising an autistic child. I was challenged by their patience/unconditional love. They trained through loving but firm guidance. They were willing to research and provide therapy. They lived their lives committed to God and believed that there was a plan for their autistic sons life. I appreciated the fact that they were honest with the struggles they faced.

[Valerie]

Loved this book. The author clearly shows how autism is a gift from God. Yet at the same time, she shows how our children, autistic or not, still need the discipline and love of their parents. I also really appreciated the fact that no one treatment approach was touted above another since all autistic children are unique just as their "typical" peers are all different from one another.

[Dogeared Wanderer]

A mother's journey with an autistic firstborn son. She incorporates Biblical principles and worldview throughout the book as her expectations of her son change according to his needs. I learned a lot about autism, but wasn't impressed with the author's legalistic presentation of God, Reformed theology, or parenting.

On the one hand, the author is a parent who has suffered through tremendous depression, discouragement, and shame with her son when he didn't conform to parenting models or church life expectations. Her marriage suffered, and I can't imagine how hard it was to have your first child this way and all the accompanying guilt.

On the other hand, she's not very good at communicating theology in a gracious, convincing way. Yes, there are certain non-negotiables, but they came across as harsh and unloving when the common theme in her parenting (and she clarified it as the "biblical" method) is conforming a child to the parents' wills, and "leading with your head and not your heart". Don't get me wrong. I'm all about discipline and child-training and consistent routines, but the goal is actually God's will, not the parents' (though both should overlap as the parent aligns theirs with the Lord's). Parents should have their hearts involved because this is a beloved child, and to neglect heart involvement is to neglect some of a child's needs. God also shows tender compassion to His own children in love and faithfulness, even as He disciplines them for their good. God has made us body and soul, and to treat intellect as superior to emotions is to distort God's design of us and His relationship with us.

I was disappointed to see Tedd Tripp and Joni Eareckson Tada recommend this book. The mother's testimony was raw and real, but the parenting lessons emphasized secondary liberties as primary convictions.

[John]

This is very helpful to understand autism and its many facets. I appreciated the biblical emphasis that maintained a distinction between what is morally wrong and what may be misunderstanding. Sinful behavior must always be punished, but it may not always be clear whether a behavior is an act of rebellion or a response that requires more information. Every parent faces this question, but Cathy shows the particular challenge it is with an autistic child. She and her husband aim for a good balance of firm resolution and compassionate care for their children. We found this to be a very compelling read. Very well written.

[Sarah]

An insightful and hopeful read into the life of a mother struggling to raise an autistic child. The ever present God of the bible is the shining light through every trial they face and he sees them through to the other side of a monster the mother was sure had taken the life of hr child.
Shows the importance of reigning in the sinful will of any child and not letting sins slide because they are "special".

[Erica Devore]

While I enjoyed learning about Drew’s story as a Christian mother of a child with autism, I have to rate this book two stars because I struggled to read in the style this book is written in. I applaud the mom/author’s journey with her son and sticking to scripture while raising him. I hope the Lord will continue to bless this family.

[Daniel]

Excellent parenting account and example. Even children with difficult challenges can be parented well.

[Summer Olsson]

I was sobbing at the end of this book. It’s so similar to my experience and just a sign from God that we can get through all of this ❤️🙏

[amanda gardiner]

UPDATED: many years have passed since I originally gave a five-star review to this book. at that time I was raising one child considered a high functioning autistic. He had sensory issues and severe language problems but some communication. Discipline was difficult and the fruit was extremely slow to. I found my story echoed in this book.

However, reading this book back years later with a much lower functioning autistic child, I see much to be desired. Her quickness to call every behavior, a sin or a lack of self-control does not reflect the reality of life for the low-functioning autistic. My fear is that parents will grab this book and discipline for behavior that is completely outside the control of a child.

I would say this book is useful for someone with a high functioning disabled child. A child with some ability to communicate and some ability to comprehend parental instruction (however, limited) but I would not recommend this book to someone with a low functioning child.

ORIGINAL REVIEW: A rare find!! How rare to find a book that combines biblical parenting with the very real and uphill battle of autism (and a delayed diagnosis in this case). Praise God for this persistant moms efforts and for her sharing it in this book. Not the most flowery or lovely writing style (seemed unimpressive in that regard) but just a true to life and uplifting account of a couples desire to reconcile the truths of Gods word in parenting with the reality of a son that did not understand them. 5 stars!

[Wendy]

The testimony of this family pressing on in faith during a confusing time (pre/post autism dx.), was iron-sharpening and encouraging for me. It is good to put faith in the Lord and pursue our noble calling as parents with only the information God gives as He sees fit...even with a sad and confusing diagnosis.

[Susan]

Every parent/grandparent/aunt/uncle/cousin - relative of a child with autism (maybe any special needs) should read this book - gives hope and reminds one that nothing happens that is not in God's control

[Vicki]

I picked this book up by chance when I was organising our Support Network books and was drawn in by the first page. I read it in less than 24 hours!
A wonderful story of recovering from Autism.

[Robert Murphy]

A parent's point of view on diagnosing and finding out about autism from a Reformed Christian point of view. Too wrapped up with a bow for my liking.

[Faye]

Wonderful first person account of a success story!