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Nothing to Know
"We already made it count. We made it count so much it hurts."
Jameson Sinclair, once the NHL’s prettiest and mouthiest superstar, has had trouble finding his footing since a horrific injury pulled him out of arenas and off gossip sites. Mateo Zavala has built a comfortably boring life around work and family, content with years lacking the highs and lows of a stunning hockey career. The night Jamie and Mateo meet is almost magical, full of tentative touches, first kisses, and wishes made upon a shooting star. Neither will call it love at first sight, but by the next morning, they know they don’t want to let go of what they've found. They daydream about a future together, and make plans for a second date, ready for all the ways their lives are going to change.
Then they meet again and realize all the ways their lives are going to change will come with bruises that won’t heal and scars that won’t fade. Their feelings for each other haven’t dimmed, but circumstances will keep them apart. As years go by, and friendship is all they can have, Jamie and Mateo make pleas of wait for me, not yet, and I love you. Lines are drawn and redrawn every time they dance on top of them, but is it enough to love each other in secret? How long can they wait to have a real relationship before they wonder whether there’s a secret to keep at all?
Nothing to Know is an achy right person/wrong time romance spanning years of a very requited love, and the messy road two men take to reach their happily ever after.
Jameson Sinclair, once the NHL’s prettiest and mouthiest superstar, has had trouble finding his footing since a horrific injury pulled him out of arenas and off gossip sites. Mateo Zavala has built a comfortably boring life around work and family, content with years lacking the highs and lows of a stunning hockey career. The night Jamie and Mateo meet is almost magical, full of tentative touches, first kisses, and wishes made upon a shooting star. Neither will call it love at first sight, but by the next morning, they know they don’t want to let go of what they've found. They daydream about a future together, and make plans for a second date, ready for all the ways their lives are going to change.
Then they meet again and realize all the ways their lives are going to change will come with bruises that won’t heal and scars that won’t fade. Their feelings for each other haven’t dimmed, but circumstances will keep them apart. As years go by, and friendship is all they can have, Jamie and Mateo make pleas of wait for me, not yet, and I love you. Lines are drawn and redrawn every time they dance on top of them, but is it enough to love each other in secret? How long can they wait to have a real relationship before they wonder whether there’s a secret to keep at all?
Nothing to Know is an achy right person/wrong time romance spanning years of a very requited love, and the messy road two men take to reach their happily ever after.
395 pages, Paperback
First published May 28, 2026
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 87 reviews
September 4, 2026
If you're picking this up, this is the slowest of slow burns. While I loved the author's poetic style at times, I had mixed feelings about this book.
The angst is heavy due to the main characters being apart for the majority of the book. The separation feels really manufactured though.I spent most of the book wondering why Mateo was putting up with it for so long over a single night with Jamie. The multiple quick time jumps where time passes without any real relationship development left me internally screaming for them to just move on. The connection didn't feel strong enough to justify all this.
I also just felt really bad for Logan getting hurt in the crossfire, and I wanted him to get a happy ending too.
The epilogue absolutely took me out. Ugly crying, screaming, throwing up. However, I'm not entirely sure if that ending is worth the drag to get there. I was set on 3 stars until I got to the ending, so do with that information what you will.
The angst is heavy due to the main characters being apart for the majority of the book. The separation feels really manufactured though.I spent most of the book wondering why Mateo was putting up with it for so long over a single night with Jamie. The multiple quick time jumps where time passes without any real relationship development left me internally screaming for them to just move on. The connection didn't feel strong enough to justify all this.
I also just felt really bad for Logan getting hurt in the crossfire, and I wanted him to get a happy ending too.
The epilogue absolutely took me out. Ugly crying, screaming, throwing up. However, I'm not entirely sure if that ending is worth the drag to get there. I was set on 3 stars until I got to the ending, so do with that information what you will.
August 4, 2026
THIS BOOK IS ABSOLUTELY EXCEPTIONAL!!!!
This whole love story was absolutely beautiful, messy and so so human! I couldn’t put it down until I finished the whole book and every single second was so enjoyable.
BUT THAT EPILOGUE took me absolutely out and I will be referring my future therapy bills to this author because how will I ever get over it?
If you haven’t read this book yet idk what you’re waiting for? ♾️⭐️ no notes this was amazing!
This whole love story was absolutely beautiful, messy and so so human! I couldn’t put it down until I finished the whole book and every single second was so enjoyable.
BUT THAT EPILOGUE took me absolutely out and I will be referring my future therapy bills to this author because how will I ever get over it?
If you haven’t read this book yet idk what you’re waiting for? ♾️⭐️ no notes this was amazing!
August 7, 2026
I don't even know what to feel after finishing this.
I was so into it at first. It completely pulled me in. Then somewhere along the way, I started hating it... but I still couldn't stop reading. I was already too invested in the characters and just wanted them to get their HEA (or NOT).
I swear, I hate this book as much as I love it. 😂 It frustrated me so much. I honestly don't know what to think.
I was so into it at first. It completely pulled me in. Then somewhere along the way, I started hating it... but I still couldn't stop reading. I was already too invested in the characters and just wanted them to get their HEA (or NOT).
I swear, I hate this book as much as I love it. 😂 It frustrated me so much. I honestly don't know what to think.
July 17, 2026
Boo to whoever recc'd this to me. It's not bad but it's also not good, both in a general sense and for my own personal tastes. I love a slow burn, it's actually probably one of my favorite tropes. What I don't love? 400 pages of angst. Angst. Angst. And more angst. All for a buildup that lasts about 10 pages and then the book is over. Unsatisfying, and frankly emotionally exhausting. If you like tons of angst then I guess give it a go, but it's also just underdeveloped in every sense of the word -- character-wise, romance-wise, and plot-wise. The writing also leaves a lot to be desired, with weird sentence structuring combined with a wistful and preachy sort of tone that is more annoying than it is touching or poetic.
Spice level: 🌶️🌶️/5
Spice level: 🌶️🌶️/5
August 11, 2026
I knew nothing about this book going in and was NOT expecting this angsty, emotional roller coaster. The pining, angst and missed connections gave me Love Letter to Whiskey vibes. I LOVED the writing in this book. I highlighted SO much of this book. At times I wanted to strangle Jamie and my heart broke for both of them (but especially Mateo) throughout. I feel like the supporting characters added so much to the story. While I do wish we had a bit more time in their HEA, I genuinely adored this book. I am not a crier and this epilogue had me CRYing. It's one of my most emotional epilogues I have read to date.
June 1, 2026
Nothing to Know is one of the best books I’ve ever read.
I’ve cried over books before, but this one was different. I wasn’t crying because it was tragic. I was crying because of how deeply it made me feel.
Mateo and Jamie meet and immediately recognize something extraordinary in each other. The kind of connection that only comes around once in a lifetime. But timing has other plans.
What follows is years of friendship, longing, patience, and unwavering devotion. They spend so much of their lives loving each other from a distance, choosing what is right over what is easy, and somehow never letting go of the bond they share.
This book is yearning in its purest form.
Not the kind built on miscommunication or unnecessary drama, but the kind that comes from finding the right person at the wrong time and loving them anyway.
The maturity of this story was incredible. Every conversation felt meaningful. Every reunion carried years of history behind it. Watching Mateo and Jamie love each other through different stages of their lives was both beautiful and painful.
They never stopped choosing each other, even when being together wasn’t an option. They never stopped showing up for each other, loving each other, or holding on to what they had.
And I think that’s why I cried so much.
Not because I was heartbroken, but because I wanted them to get their chance so badly.
And when they finally did, it felt like watching two people come home to each other. After years of waiting, they finally got the life they deserved. They became each other’s forever love story, and I don’t think I’ll ever forget that.
This story made me cry, hope, yearn, and ache right alongside these characters. It reminded me that some loves aren’t defined by how quickly they happen, but by how deeply they endure.
One of the most unforgettable love stories I’ve ever read.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I’ve cried over books before, but this one was different. I wasn’t crying because it was tragic. I was crying because of how deeply it made me feel.
Mateo and Jamie meet and immediately recognize something extraordinary in each other. The kind of connection that only comes around once in a lifetime. But timing has other plans.
What follows is years of friendship, longing, patience, and unwavering devotion. They spend so much of their lives loving each other from a distance, choosing what is right over what is easy, and somehow never letting go of the bond they share.
This book is yearning in its purest form.
Not the kind built on miscommunication or unnecessary drama, but the kind that comes from finding the right person at the wrong time and loving them anyway.
The maturity of this story was incredible. Every conversation felt meaningful. Every reunion carried years of history behind it. Watching Mateo and Jamie love each other through different stages of their lives was both beautiful and painful.
They never stopped choosing each other, even when being together wasn’t an option. They never stopped showing up for each other, loving each other, or holding on to what they had.
And I think that’s why I cried so much.
Not because I was heartbroken, but because I wanted them to get their chance so badly.
And when they finally did, it felt like watching two people come home to each other. After years of waiting, they finally got the life they deserved. They became each other’s forever love story, and I don’t think I’ll ever forget that.
This story made me cry, hope, yearn, and ache right alongside these characters. It reminded me that some loves aren’t defined by how quickly they happen, but by how deeply they endure.
One of the most unforgettable love stories I’ve ever read.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
October 7, 2026
The only reason I am writing this review is that I am livid about reading this book weeks after I've read it, so I just need to get it out of my system and warn other readers who would be bothered by the same things.
It starts with a decent meet-cute, and I actually had high hopes for the rest of the book to be about overcoming the obstacles that were easy to see on the horizon. This part was decently written, even if it felt like an overuse of a "yes, but (no)" schema before their kiss. Little did I know that overuse of a schema would foreshadow the theme of the first 80% of the book.
This schema is:
"I want EVERTHING with you, but we CAN'T" (and that on repeat ad nauseam)
Don't get me wrong, there are books where this works, but this is not one of those books, because the reasons the author presents as insurmountable are trivial at best and could have been solved by any couple with even mild problem-solving skills and the will to solve them. Instead, they immediately give up and decide to wait four years?! Really? Even if I were willing to suspend my disbelief this much, I couldn't have.
And the problem is that although the author is TELLING us how much the MCs are in love with each other, what she is SHOWING us is that they won't take a chance, get outside of their comfort zone, or even be mildly inconvenienced to actually try to make it work.
So how much in love can they really be?
So when, in a true deus ex machina fashion, one of them finally decides to "give in," I couldn't find it in myself to care any more. The only thing I was asking myself was: why now?
The only reasonable answer I could think of is: because the author decided that 80% mark is as good a point as any to move forward with the story and end the angst-fest.
She then proceeded to cram the actual relationship development into the rest of the book in a very unsatisfying, lackluster fast-forward-style way.
What makes me mad the most is that the author is not bad per se. There is so much potential in this story. With a good editor, this could have been a solid or even a really good book.
But alas, as it is, I really wish I hadn't read it and can't recommend this hot mess of a book if you are at all bothered by the same things I am in a book.
It starts with a decent meet-cute, and I actually had high hopes for the rest of the book to be about overcoming the obstacles that were easy to see on the horizon. This part was decently written, even if it felt like an overuse of a "yes, but (no)" schema before their kiss. Little did I know that overuse of a schema would foreshadow the theme of the first 80% of the book.
This schema is:
"I want EVERTHING with you, but we CAN'T" (and that on repeat ad nauseam)
Don't get me wrong, there are books where this works, but this is not one of those books, because the reasons the author presents as insurmountable are trivial at best and could have been solved by any couple with even mild problem-solving skills and the will to solve them. Instead, they immediately give up and decide to wait four years?! Really? Even if I were willing to suspend my disbelief this much, I couldn't have.
And the problem is that although the author is TELLING us how much the MCs are in love with each other, what she is SHOWING us is that they won't take a chance, get outside of their comfort zone, or even be mildly inconvenienced to actually try to make it work.
So how much in love can they really be?
So when, in a true deus ex machina fashion, one of them finally decides to "give in," I couldn't find it in myself to care any more. The only thing I was asking myself was: why now?
The only reasonable answer I could think of is: because the author decided that 80% mark is as good a point as any to move forward with the story and end the angst-fest.
She then proceeded to cram the actual relationship development into the rest of the book in a very unsatisfying, lackluster fast-forward-style way.
What makes me mad the most is that the author is not bad per se. There is so much potential in this story. With a good editor, this could have been a solid or even a really good book.
But alas, as it is, I really wish I hadn't read it and can't recommend this hot mess of a book if you are at all bothered by the same things I am in a book.
September 3, 2026
The yearning was the biggest heartache but also the most raw and passionate. The definition of “right person, wrong time” and I just wanted to climb into my kindle and shake them. I cried, I laughed, I swooned. This will be embedded into my memory forever now. Yes, there’s a hea but the journey these men take to get there is not an easy one but oh so worth it.
July 4, 2026
Oh I’m completely unwell. This hurt. Pretty much the whole way through but I never stopped rooting for these guys. My head and eyes hurt from crying so much. Right person wrong time to the extreme.
September 18, 2026
Mateo y Jamie tienen una historia de amor hermosa , desconocidos con un primer encuentro hermoso que lleva a u a amistad con un pining increíble y terminan siendo muy pacientes por ese final feliz , fue una historia preciosa para dos personajes preciosos
___________________
Mateo and Jamie have a beautiful love story from strangers with a charming first meeting that leads to a friendship filled with incredible pining, staying patient until they finally get their happy ending.
It was a lovely story for two lovely characters.
___________________
Mateo and Jamie have a beautiful love story from strangers with a charming first meeting that leads to a friendship filled with incredible pining, staying patient until they finally get their happy ending.
It was a lovely story for two lovely characters.
July 13, 2026
Phew, that was intense! I read this story because I saw a wonderful review by Nany, and I haven’t regretted it for a minute!
There’s one thing you need to know: this is a slow burn in the truest sense of the word. Jamie and Mateo wait and wait for the right moment to begin their love story. But it actually started so long ago! You suffer and empathize so deeply with them. You’re right there by their side, wanting to cheer them on to finally take the plunge—and yes, sometimes you even want to give them a little shake.
I love that these two men are my age; it’s a great change of pace from the books I usually read and offers yet another perspective.
Patience pays off, and in the end, it’s worth every tear—simply a wonderful, emotional story that I highly recommend ❤️!
There’s one thing you need to know: this is a slow burn in the truest sense of the word. Jamie and Mateo wait and wait for the right moment to begin their love story. But it actually started so long ago! You suffer and empathize so deeply with them. You’re right there by their side, wanting to cheer them on to finally take the plunge—and yes, sometimes you even want to give them a little shake.
I love that these two men are my age; it’s a great change of pace from the books I usually read and offers yet another perspective.
Patience pays off, and in the end, it’s worth every tear—simply a wonderful, emotional story that I highly recommend ❤️!
August 20, 2026
No just no.
Beyond belief and fright with frustration.
This was not a beautiful years long gesture for one another, this was a car wreck of epic proportions! And it started with a reason for being apart that made NO sense. A perfectly capable teen can handle this 😏 and sorry but you can man up and come out for your man. You’re not in the NFL anymore. The reasoning over and over for all this heartache was BS. No one would stick this shit out.
And don’t get me started on Jamie being beyond correct about how selfish he is later in the book. Or how they waited years with nothing beyond kissing, yet were screwing with others? How is this remotely enjoyable?
End of part one Mateo should have said NO, I’m done waiting for you and all your issues. wtf.
Beyond belief and fright with frustration.
This was not a beautiful years long gesture for one another, this was a car wreck of epic proportions! And it started with a reason for being apart that made NO sense. A perfectly capable teen can handle this 😏 and sorry but you can man up and come out for your man. You’re not in the NFL anymore. The reasoning over and over for all this heartache was BS. No one would stick this shit out.
And don’t get me started on Jamie being beyond correct about how selfish he is later in the book. Or how they waited years with nothing beyond kissing, yet were screwing with others? How is this remotely enjoyable?
End of part one Mateo should have said NO, I’m done waiting for you and all your issues. wtf.
August 10, 2026
⭐️4.5⭐️
This book wrecked me. I think it's a story I'll be marinating on for a while, which is probably why I'm a little conflicted about my rating. The angst, tension, and YEARS of yearning between Jamie and Mateo had me in an absolute chokehold, but at the same time, there were aspects of the story that frustrated me to no end.
Jamie and Mateo have a chance meeting and immediately form this deep, almost inexplicable connection. From the beginning, they both seem to recognize that there could be something lasting between them. But in a classic case of right person, wrong time, they realize their circumstances are far too complicated to actually be together, so they settle for friendship.
Sort of.
For years, they orbit each other—connecting, drifting apart, and finding their way back again—while never truly falling out of love with each other. The problem was that Jamie was constantly finding another reason why they couldn't be together. Whether it was Harper, hockey, or his fear of coming out, he was never quite willing to make the sacrifices necessary to actually choose Mateo.
And, honestly, this was where I struggled the most. I never fully understood why Jamie was so worried about coming out as bisexual when he was already retired from the NHL. He was constantly concerned about what his fans and the media would think, but I kept thinking... you're retired! Why did it still have so much power over him? I understood that coming out is complicated regardless of circumstances, but I never quite connected with why this particular fear remained such a huge obstacle for him.
It was also painful watching them be with other people throughout the years. Poor Logan really got the short end of the stick with Mateo, and there were definitely moments when I wondered if maybe Mateo and Logan should have ended up together. But sweet Mateo never wavered in his love for Jamie. He was so steadfast and patient, and I honestly couldn't believe he was willing to wait that long without becoming angry or resentful. His love for Jamie was unwavering, and that made his character so easy to root for.
This was truly the slowest of slow burns. Every time I thought Jamie and Mateo were finally going to choose each other, something else would happen, and my heart would break all over again. At times, it felt like Jamie was never actually going to choose Mateo over hockey. So when Jamie finally came to his senses and walked away from the hockey world, I expected that moment to feel huge. Instead, I found it surprisingly anticlimactic. After all those years of buildup and all that emotional turmoil, we barely got to experience Jamie and Mateo actually being together. I'm not sure if that was intentional or if I was simply emotionally exhausted by that point from all the years of push and pull, but I definitely wanted more of their payoff.
And then came the epilogue.
That epilogue absolutely did me in. IYKYK. 😭
Despite my frustrations, this is a book I'm still thinking about, and that's worth something. It made me feel SO many emotions, and the years of history between Jamie and Mateo gave their connection a depth that was impossible to ignore. I also loved that we got two older MCs, which was such a refreshing change from the younger characters I typically read about.
Overall, this was an emotionally exhausting, angsty, beautifully painful romance that completely got under my skin. If you love an incredibly slow burn, years of pining, complicated circumstances, second chances, and a romance that will put you through the emotional wringer, definitely check this one out.
Tropes:
Slowest of slow burns
Years of pining
Friends to lovers
Second chance romance
Right person, wrong time
Older MCs
Bi-awakening/coming out
Closeted MC
Professional athlete
Hockey romance
Forbidden/complicated romance
Mutual pining
Angsty romance
Emotional push and pull
HEA
This book wrecked me. I think it's a story I'll be marinating on for a while, which is probably why I'm a little conflicted about my rating. The angst, tension, and YEARS of yearning between Jamie and Mateo had me in an absolute chokehold, but at the same time, there were aspects of the story that frustrated me to no end.
Jamie and Mateo have a chance meeting and immediately form this deep, almost inexplicable connection. From the beginning, they both seem to recognize that there could be something lasting between them. But in a classic case of right person, wrong time, they realize their circumstances are far too complicated to actually be together, so they settle for friendship.
Sort of.
For years, they orbit each other—connecting, drifting apart, and finding their way back again—while never truly falling out of love with each other. The problem was that Jamie was constantly finding another reason why they couldn't be together. Whether it was Harper, hockey, or his fear of coming out, he was never quite willing to make the sacrifices necessary to actually choose Mateo.
And, honestly, this was where I struggled the most. I never fully understood why Jamie was so worried about coming out as bisexual when he was already retired from the NHL. He was constantly concerned about what his fans and the media would think, but I kept thinking... you're retired! Why did it still have so much power over him? I understood that coming out is complicated regardless of circumstances, but I never quite connected with why this particular fear remained such a huge obstacle for him.
It was also painful watching them be with other people throughout the years. Poor Logan really got the short end of the stick with Mateo, and there were definitely moments when I wondered if maybe Mateo and Logan should have ended up together. But sweet Mateo never wavered in his love for Jamie. He was so steadfast and patient, and I honestly couldn't believe he was willing to wait that long without becoming angry or resentful. His love for Jamie was unwavering, and that made his character so easy to root for.
This was truly the slowest of slow burns. Every time I thought Jamie and Mateo were finally going to choose each other, something else would happen, and my heart would break all over again. At times, it felt like Jamie was never actually going to choose Mateo over hockey. So when Jamie finally came to his senses and walked away from the hockey world, I expected that moment to feel huge. Instead, I found it surprisingly anticlimactic. After all those years of buildup and all that emotional turmoil, we barely got to experience Jamie and Mateo actually being together. I'm not sure if that was intentional or if I was simply emotionally exhausted by that point from all the years of push and pull, but I definitely wanted more of their payoff.
And then came the epilogue.
That epilogue absolutely did me in. IYKYK. 😭
Despite my frustrations, this is a book I'm still thinking about, and that's worth something. It made me feel SO many emotions, and the years of history between Jamie and Mateo gave their connection a depth that was impossible to ignore. I also loved that we got two older MCs, which was such a refreshing change from the younger characters I typically read about.
Overall, this was an emotionally exhausting, angsty, beautifully painful romance that completely got under my skin. If you love an incredibly slow burn, years of pining, complicated circumstances, second chances, and a romance that will put you through the emotional wringer, definitely check this one out.
Tropes:
Slowest of slow burns
Years of pining
Friends to lovers
Second chance romance
Right person, wrong time
Older MCs
Bi-awakening/coming out
Closeted MC
Professional athlete
Hockey romance
Forbidden/complicated romance
Mutual pining
Angsty romance
Emotional push and pull
HEA
August 28, 2026
WTH was this?! Clearly these two did not want to be together. What was even the point of reading this book. Poor, poor excuse of a book. Sorry not sorry.
Mateo. Deserved. Better.
Mateo. Deserved. Better.
November 3, 2026
6 stars.. 💫 because 5 could never be enough.
_____
I am adding to this after doing a reread. I already said this was the best book I'd read in 2026 so far.. but that 'so far' needs to go, nothing will top this book for me. I didn't think I could love it book more when reading it again, but I did. Never has a book made me feel so much.. the good, the bad and the ugly. Even knowing how the book plays out, I was fully immersed and right there with the characters again. It is perfection.
-----
"Give us something more to miss. Give us a different way to hurt. Let us fuck up with our eyes wide open."
I can't remember the last time I read a book that made me feel so deeply.. every single emotion this author described.. I felt, I cried, I laughed, I got angry, I hated the characters and then I loved them all over again.
This book is the slowest of slow burns, but it couldn't have been told in any other way. Never have I ever rooted for a couple more, but also understood why they were so reluctant to just throw caution to the wind and give it a go. It needed to be at the right time.. and boy, did they take their sweet (and painful) time.
"Whatever else happens tonight, we're going to love each other for the rest of our lives, because the pull of the ocean and the promise of the stars won't let us go."
And just a note about the secondary characters in the book. I don't usually care for them - they often get in the way! But not in this book. They played such vital roles in the love and life story of Mateo and Jamie, that it wouldn't have been the same without them.
And that epilogue.. oh my. I knew I would need a minute, I knew it would bring me to tears, but nothing could have prepared me. I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed.
I will always remember Mateo and Jamie - what a beautiful story.
_____
I am adding to this after doing a reread. I already said this was the best book I'd read in 2026 so far.. but that 'so far' needs to go, nothing will top this book for me. I didn't think I could love it book more when reading it again, but I did. Never has a book made me feel so much.. the good, the bad and the ugly. Even knowing how the book plays out, I was fully immersed and right there with the characters again. It is perfection.
-----
"Give us something more to miss. Give us a different way to hurt. Let us fuck up with our eyes wide open."
I can't remember the last time I read a book that made me feel so deeply.. every single emotion this author described.. I felt, I cried, I laughed, I got angry, I hated the characters and then I loved them all over again.
This book is the slowest of slow burns, but it couldn't have been told in any other way. Never have I ever rooted for a couple more, but also understood why they were so reluctant to just throw caution to the wind and give it a go. It needed to be at the right time.. and boy, did they take their sweet (and painful) time.
"Whatever else happens tonight, we're going to love each other for the rest of our lives, because the pull of the ocean and the promise of the stars won't let us go."
And just a note about the secondary characters in the book. I don't usually care for them - they often get in the way! But not in this book. They played such vital roles in the love and life story of Mateo and Jamie, that it wouldn't have been the same without them.
And that epilogue.. oh my. I knew I would need a minute, I knew it would bring me to tears, but nothing could have prepared me. I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed.
I will always remember Mateo and Jamie - what a beautiful story.
August 10, 2026
4.5⭐
Good Lord the ANGST in this read is SO HEAVY!!!! I'm often leery to pick up a book with so few reviews but I gave this one a shot because it sounded like it was right up my alley. And boy was it! I love me some angst. I love a book that will make me cry (that EPILOGUE got me good....iykyk). This was probably one of the longest and hardest fought HEAs I've read & I'm so glad I gave this one a shot.
This is a love that spans YEARS! There so much longing & yearning from both sides but life & career choices came first. They may not have been the best choices, but they were made and they had to navigate those choices at the time.
Parts were hard to read because you just wanted them to CHOOSE EACH OTHER! There was so much emotional turmoil & all you wanted was for them to be happy together!
I shed a few tears throughout the book but that epilogue sucker punched me!
If you're a lover of angst like me, check this one out.
Jameson Sinclair & Mateo Zavala
Tropes:
Angsty
Older MCs
Former Hockey player X Teacher
Forbidden
Right Person Wrong Time
Bi-Awakening
Years of pining / Second Chance
Secret Relationship
Good Lord the ANGST in this read is SO HEAVY!!!! I'm often leery to pick up a book with so few reviews but I gave this one a shot because it sounded like it was right up my alley. And boy was it! I love me some angst. I love a book that will make me cry (that EPILOGUE got me good....iykyk). This was probably one of the longest and hardest fought HEAs I've read & I'm so glad I gave this one a shot.
This is a love that spans YEARS! There so much longing & yearning from both sides but life & career choices came first. They may not have been the best choices, but they were made and they had to navigate those choices at the time.
Parts were hard to read because you just wanted them to CHOOSE EACH OTHER! There was so much emotional turmoil & all you wanted was for them to be happy together!
I shed a few tears throughout the book but that epilogue sucker punched me!
If you're a lover of angst like me, check this one out.
Jameson Sinclair & Mateo Zavala
Tropes:
Angsty
Older MCs
Former Hockey player X Teacher
Forbidden
Right Person Wrong Time
Bi-Awakening
Years of pining / Second Chance
Secret Relationship
August 17, 2026
5 ⭐️ holy emotional roller coaster of a book. From the very beginning, I loved Jamie and Mateo, separately and together. The anticipation for what was to come had me turning these pages like it was a race. Then even I got tired of waiting, but my heart was aching for these two men so I continued on, just for my heart to break even more. I had to pause when I was more than half way through to ask Google is this was a happily ever after because I was starting to get nervous and I wouldn’t have been able to stand it. With that reassurance, I continued on and finally finally finally got to read the beautiful reward that is Jamie and Mateo forever.
Someone should’ve warned me not to read the epilogue though because then my heart actually shattered, in a beautifully devastating way that is inevitable.
What a ride. And the writing from this author? beautiful.
Someone should’ve warned me not to read the epilogue though because then my heart actually shattered, in a beautifully devastating way that is inevitable.
What a ride. And the writing from this author? beautiful.
August 31, 2026
beautiful
This is a beautiful story with a ton of yearning life getting in the way and honestly stupid excuses but when it happens it’s glorious teo and Jamie are beautiful together in the end xx
This is a beautiful story with a ton of yearning life getting in the way and honestly stupid excuses but when it happens it’s glorious teo and Jamie are beautiful together in the end xx
June 21, 2026
This is a super-slow burn romance where the push and pull between Jamie and Mateo is almost achingly sad. Both men are very well portrayed and the connection between them is very strong. I enjoyed their years-long journey to get to their happy ending, though I do feel the journey would have been shorter if they'd trusted each other and their families more. Also my heart ached for poor Logan who is cast aside by Mateo on a regular basis and probably has the most amount of pain to bear. Recommended.
won-t-read-bc-nopes
June 2, 2026This is not a book for me, due to it being a slow burn, off and on relationship over many years that includes a lot of OP dating/action (not sure if it's described on page or just mentioned in passing) happening in between the MCs seeing each other and, I assume? eventually committing, BUT, it was recommended by an author I whose work I enjoy, and respect a lot, so, maybe it'll be for YOU, if you like that kind of many-years saga with pining. It's probably beautifully written!
June 13, 2026
This books was incredibly painful to read. Not character pain, my pain with how it was hundreds of pages of angst that had no reason to be that long, and the reasons they stayed apart that long were stupid. The ending made me furious to the point that I actually exclaimed out loud to my spouse that I was mad. One star for writing a book.
I love Landry's other work, so this won't stop me from reading any future books.
I love Landry's other work, so this won't stop me from reading any future books.
November 6, 2026
This is possibly the most frustrating book I have ever read. I spent a solid 88% of this book wanting to punch Jamie in the face and tell Mateo to grow a backbone. Ultimately they had a sweet HEA but there was so much angst and so little time with that HEA.
Jamie and Mateo met randomly and it was essentially love at first sight. They spent one platonic night together on the beach, made each other a bunch of promises and then almost immediately realized that circumstances meant they couldn’t be together then. Classic right person, wrong time.
(WARNING — there will be SPOILERS!)
Basically Jamie is a famous ex-NHL player and Mateo just happens to be Jamie’a daughter Harper’s high school English teacher and soccer coach. They decide that they cannot be together while Harper is still in high school and will have to wait for each other for the next 4 years.
I can KIND OF see where they come from here. This would be challenging and undoubtedly Harper would be caught in the middle of a coming out if they were in a relationship and neither one of them wanted that. However, I also think there were probably work arounds. Would it be ideal? No. Could they disclose their relationship to Mateo’s employer and make adjustments to avoid conflicts of interest? I think the probably could.
Still, I can get past this first period of waiting. It’s the second part where I still struggle to forgive Jamie. Taking a job across the country literally WEEKS before Harper graduated WITHOUT DISCUSSING WITH MATEO AND LETTING HIM FIND OUT ON GOOGLE is almost unforgivable.
This started 6 YEARS where Jamie never once puts Mateo first but still consistently asks him to put his life on hold and wait for him. The level of selfishness here is unreal. Jamie is constantly chasing the cheers and the praise from hockey fans and all the wile he and Mateo are missing out on a LIFE. Mateo’s grandmother died — Jamie will never meet her. He never gets to come home and share his day, or share the small things together.
Jamie trades someone who will love and support him every single day for people who don’t know him and cheer and support him a couple of hours a week but only so long as he is performing well enough.
And then later, Jamie has to gall to act like Mateo is the problem in their situation when it was JAMIE who changed the plan. He was the one who moved across the country. He is the one who kept choosing hockey and empty cheers over the man who could be the love of his life. He was the one who kept stringing this along and asking Mateo to wait. He was the one who went out with women knowing Mateo would see the photos. He was such an ass for the majority of this second part.
I’ve heard that people’s emotional maturity is stalled at the age they become very very famous unless they have a very good support system (ie Taylor Swift who became very famous very young but had a really supportive family structure). You can see that clearly in Jamie. He became very famous as a teenager and his emotional maturity is very much at a teenage level. He is selfish in his personal relationships, seeks affirmation from empty cheers from fans, thinks that approval from the hockey world is the measure of his worth and that those people are going to give him the love he craves. And then he’s surprised when they don’t.
And Mateo. I’m not letting him off the hook either. He needed to recognize his own worth, realize that Jamie was treating him like crap, grow a backbone and walk away. He almost did it that one year when he stopped responding to Jamie and was with Logan. Logan, who was so good for him, and who Mateo could have loved and had a good life with. Logan who Mateo immediately left as soon as Jamie called.
Through the last several years of this, Mateo is always saying he and Jamie m need to talk but it never happens. He always decides it doesn’t feel right or he just wants to be with a Jamie and pretend it all fine rather than have tough conversations. And that’s probably why they had this effed up situationship for a decade. They never talk.
Ultimately Jamie pulls his head out of his ass and decides to make changes to be with Mateo. But that turnaround comes out of nowhere. What prompted it? Why now? Jamie was apparently was fine with the status quo for nearly a decade. What changed to make him decide that he wanted to actually live his life?
Jamie is not a brave character. He is not the kind of character who makes big changes like this unless something forces his hand. What happened to suddenly make him brave? Was it Harper getting engaged and living her life? Was it that combined with the contract extension? Did the friend with the youth league reach out at just the right time?
That’s my only real criticism of this book from a writing/story standpoint. I don’t think I ever saw Jamie make that change. It’s just one day he’s good with the status quo and the next time Mateo sees him, he’s suddenly ready to change his entire life, give up the NHL and come out. It doesn’t track.
I also really wanted more of their HEA. Not joking that it is not until 88% in to the book that the HEA even starts. It felt really unsatisfying when there was so much separation and heartache for most of the book.
Jamie and Mateo met randomly and it was essentially love at first sight. They spent one platonic night together on the beach, made each other a bunch of promises and then almost immediately realized that circumstances meant they couldn’t be together then. Classic right person, wrong time.
(WARNING — there will be SPOILERS!)
Basically Jamie is a famous ex-NHL player and Mateo just happens to be Jamie’a daughter Harper’s high school English teacher and soccer coach. They decide that they cannot be together while Harper is still in high school and will have to wait for each other for the next 4 years.
I can KIND OF see where they come from here. This would be challenging and undoubtedly Harper would be caught in the middle of a coming out if they were in a relationship and neither one of them wanted that. However, I also think there were probably work arounds. Would it be ideal? No. Could they disclose their relationship to Mateo’s employer and make adjustments to avoid conflicts of interest? I think the probably could.
Still, I can get past this first period of waiting. It’s the second part where I still struggle to forgive Jamie. Taking a job across the country literally WEEKS before Harper graduated WITHOUT DISCUSSING WITH MATEO AND LETTING HIM FIND OUT ON GOOGLE is almost unforgivable.
This started 6 YEARS where Jamie never once puts Mateo first but still consistently asks him to put his life on hold and wait for him. The level of selfishness here is unreal. Jamie is constantly chasing the cheers and the praise from hockey fans and all the wile he and Mateo are missing out on a LIFE. Mateo’s grandmother died — Jamie will never meet her. He never gets to come home and share his day, or share the small things together.
Jamie trades someone who will love and support him every single day for people who don’t know him and cheer and support him a couple of hours a week but only so long as he is performing well enough.
And then later, Jamie has to gall to act like Mateo is the problem in their situation when it was JAMIE who changed the plan. He was the one who moved across the country. He is the one who kept choosing hockey and empty cheers over the man who could be the love of his life. He was the one who kept stringing this along and asking Mateo to wait. He was the one who went out with women knowing Mateo would see the photos. He was such an ass for the majority of this second part.
I’ve heard that people’s emotional maturity is stalled at the age they become very very famous unless they have a very good support system (ie Taylor Swift who became very famous very young but had a really supportive family structure). You can see that clearly in Jamie. He became very famous as a teenager and his emotional maturity is very much at a teenage level. He is selfish in his personal relationships, seeks affirmation from empty cheers from fans, thinks that approval from the hockey world is the measure of his worth and that those people are going to give him the love he craves. And then he’s surprised when they don’t.
And Mateo. I’m not letting him off the hook either. He needed to recognize his own worth, realize that Jamie was treating him like crap, grow a backbone and walk away. He almost did it that one year when he stopped responding to Jamie and was with Logan. Logan, who was so good for him, and who Mateo could have loved and had a good life with. Logan who Mateo immediately left as soon as Jamie called.
Through the last several years of this, Mateo is always saying he and Jamie m need to talk but it never happens. He always decides it doesn’t feel right or he just wants to be with a Jamie and pretend it all fine rather than have tough conversations. And that’s probably why they had this effed up situationship for a decade. They never talk.
Ultimately Jamie pulls his head out of his ass and decides to make changes to be with Mateo. But that turnaround comes out of nowhere. What prompted it? Why now? Jamie was apparently was fine with the status quo for nearly a decade. What changed to make him decide that he wanted to actually live his life?
Jamie is not a brave character. He is not the kind of character who makes big changes like this unless something forces his hand. What happened to suddenly make him brave? Was it Harper getting engaged and living her life? Was it that combined with the contract extension? Did the friend with the youth league reach out at just the right time?
That’s my only real criticism of this book from a writing/story standpoint. I don’t think I ever saw Jamie make that change. It’s just one day he’s good with the status quo and the next time Mateo sees him, he’s suddenly ready to change his entire life, give up the NHL and come out. It doesn’t track.
I also really wanted more of their HEA. Not joking that it is not until 88% in to the book that the HEA even starts. It felt really unsatisfying when there was so much separation and heartache for most of the book.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 7, 2026
I wish I would have dnfd it at 47% and then any other point I thought about not finishing beyond that.
First and foremost, I think everyone should read everything to form your own opinion with triggers and your mental health kept in mind. Our mental health is important. Safety in what we read is important so go into reading things with all of that in mind. Take care of yourself, first.
Adding to this the next day. I finished this last night before I went to bed and then spent another almost two hours crying off and on. After some reviews that were left on a book recently, by others here, I have been trying to be more careful about my reviews... not that anyone is reading them, lol! I wish I would have followed my gut and stopped reading this book.
The writing style is probably what I hated the most about it... It could have been so beautiful but every character had the same voice. Every conversation and internal monologue were all the same - this overly poetic, extravagant style of writing, that diminished those conversations/monologues. I felt like so much of what could have been a great story was overshadowed by the writing style. Some of it was beautiful but was negated by all of it trying to be so grand and honestly, too wordy.
I don't know how to rate this story. I have initially given it two stars. Part of me feels the story did it's job. I was upset and angry and sad... throughout it all. It was just wading through the writing itself that frustrated me the most. Jamie and Mateo's story had good bones but was overshadowed by the writing itself.
First and foremost, I think everyone should read everything to form your own opinion with triggers and your mental health kept in mind. Our mental health is important. Safety in what we read is important so go into reading things with all of that in mind. Take care of yourself, first.
Adding to this the next day. I finished this last night before I went to bed and then spent another almost two hours crying off and on. After some reviews that were left on a book recently, by others here, I have been trying to be more careful about my reviews... not that anyone is reading them, lol! I wish I would have followed my gut and stopped reading this book.
The writing style is probably what I hated the most about it... It could have been so beautiful but every character had the same voice. Every conversation and internal monologue were all the same - this overly poetic, extravagant style of writing, that diminished those conversations/monologues. I felt like so much of what could have been a great story was overshadowed by the writing style. Some of it was beautiful but was negated by all of it trying to be so grand and honestly, too wordy.
I don't know how to rate this story. I have initially given it two stars. Part of me feels the story did it's job. I was upset and angry and sad... throughout it all. It was just wading through the writing itself that frustrated me the most. Jamie and Mateo's story had good bones but was overshadowed by the writing itself.
Review of advance copy
Wow. That was unexpected.
This is one of those books where the rating became a battle between my enjoyment and my respect for what the author accomplished. Because if I’m judging purely by my personal preferences? This probably lands closer to 3 stars. But emotionally? The book wrung me out enough that 3 stars felt almost insulting.
First, know what you’re getting into. This is for readers who love slow burn, yearning, angst, low steam, long stretches apart, and relationships that endure despite terrible timing and deeply imperfect circumstances. This is not for readers who struggle with prolonged separations, MCs having relationships with other people, or romances where joy is rationed out in tiny portions until the final stretch. For the record, I dislike all of the above.
And I hesitate to even call this a romance in the traditional sense. It is a love story—an epic one, in many ways—but for most of the book it feels more like watching two people orbit each other through years of longing, sacrifice, and missed opportunities. There is very little happiness until maybe the last 15–20%. Then the epilogue comes in and…well. It’s a doozy.
What fascinated me is that while this is clearly meant to be an enduring love story, I also spent much of the book thinking: this relationship is deeply dysfunctional. I found myself almost rooting for Logan because Mateo deserved more than crumbs. Mateo spends years—his late 30s and 40s!—holding onto the possibility of a future while receiving so little in the present. It hurt to read. And yet the emotional bond between Jamie and Mateo is written with so much weight that another ending would have felt hollow.
Oddly, I kept thinking about Kyle and Scott from Game Changers by Rachel Reid. I remember being frustrated that Kyle struggled with staying closeted for a few months because Scott, a hockey superstar in his prime, was afraid to come out in a deeply homophobic sport. Mateo is the inverse: an out gay man accepting secrecy and scraps for almost a decade. Whether you find that romantic or tragic will probably determine your rating.
The writing itself is often beautiful. Lines like “I feel like I’m drawing nonsensical lines in windswept sand” made me slow down. I read much of this book in a softly whispered internal narration because the prose demanded it.
That said, there were a few disconnects for me. The biggest: I didn’t really feel the intensity of Jamie and Mateo’s initial connection while reading it. We’re told it’s immediate, life-altering chemistry, but I didn’t feel that electric pull strongly enough at first. In a book built around decades of yearning, I would have liked that foundation to hit harder.
Also, and I realize mileage varies here: a ponytail on a male teacher in his late 30s was an obstacle my imagination could not overcome. I regret to report the movie in my head suffered.
In the end, this is one of those books I admire more than I loved. But admiration counts for something. Landry Brennan clearly poured enormous care, thought, and emotion into this story, and despite all my resistance to its tropes, I finished feeling emotionally bruised.
And sometimes that’s worth 4 stars.
This ARC was provided by Gay Romance Reads in exchange for an honest review.
This is one of those books where the rating became a battle between my enjoyment and my respect for what the author accomplished. Because if I’m judging purely by my personal preferences? This probably lands closer to 3 stars. But emotionally? The book wrung me out enough that 3 stars felt almost insulting.
First, know what you’re getting into. This is for readers who love slow burn, yearning, angst, low steam, long stretches apart, and relationships that endure despite terrible timing and deeply imperfect circumstances. This is not for readers who struggle with prolonged separations, MCs having relationships with other people, or romances where joy is rationed out in tiny portions until the final stretch. For the record, I dislike all of the above.
And I hesitate to even call this a romance in the traditional sense. It is a love story—an epic one, in many ways—but for most of the book it feels more like watching two people orbit each other through years of longing, sacrifice, and missed opportunities. There is very little happiness until maybe the last 15–20%. Then the epilogue comes in and…well. It’s a doozy.
What fascinated me is that while this is clearly meant to be an enduring love story, I also spent much of the book thinking: this relationship is deeply dysfunctional. I found myself almost rooting for Logan because Mateo deserved more than crumbs. Mateo spends years—his late 30s and 40s!—holding onto the possibility of a future while receiving so little in the present. It hurt to read. And yet the emotional bond between Jamie and Mateo is written with so much weight that another ending would have felt hollow.
Oddly, I kept thinking about Kyle and Scott from Game Changers by Rachel Reid. I remember being frustrated that Kyle struggled with staying closeted for a few months because Scott, a hockey superstar in his prime, was afraid to come out in a deeply homophobic sport. Mateo is the inverse: an out gay man accepting secrecy and scraps for almost a decade. Whether you find that romantic or tragic will probably determine your rating.
The writing itself is often beautiful. Lines like “I feel like I’m drawing nonsensical lines in windswept sand” made me slow down. I read much of this book in a softly whispered internal narration because the prose demanded it.
That said, there were a few disconnects for me. The biggest: I didn’t really feel the intensity of Jamie and Mateo’s initial connection while reading it. We’re told it’s immediate, life-altering chemistry, but I didn’t feel that electric pull strongly enough at first. In a book built around decades of yearning, I would have liked that foundation to hit harder.
Also, and I realize mileage varies here: a ponytail on a male teacher in his late 30s was an obstacle my imagination could not overcome. I regret to report the movie in my head suffered.
In the end, this is one of those books I admire more than I loved. But admiration counts for something. Landry Brennan clearly poured enormous care, thought, and emotion into this story, and despite all my resistance to its tropes, I finished feeling emotionally bruised.
And sometimes that’s worth 4 stars.
This ARC was provided by Gay Romance Reads in exchange for an honest review.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 31, 2026
This is a lovely, achy SLOW burn, of two guys who fell fast and hard but discovered that life wasn't going to let them be together for a long time. You have to be okay with an on and off relationship including sleeping with other people here and there, and you have to empathize with the fact that if a celebrity hockey star came out as bi/gay with a male partner, there would be nasty backlash and a ridiculous amount of intrusive mess, and that it's okay to be afraid of what that would look like.
Mateo and Jamie meet and have one night which feels like the beginning of everything. And it is, but it isn't, because the next time they meet, they discover Mateo is Jamie's teen daughter's teacher and soccer coach. And Jamie is a nationally-celebrated hockey player whose career recently ended in injury, but who is recognized everywhere. He's not out as bi, and any move to be out with his kid's teacher would result in a firestorm of publicity that would dump his daughter in the middle of the improper mess.
But they don't want to let go completely of the hopes they kindled, and high school is just 4 years. So they hang on, and they are friends, and they hope... but Jamie has missed hockey desperately and when a chance comes calling, he grabs for it. Even though it means separation and more lies and more years. The friendship they've created and the waiting they've endured may not last past this point.
I was on the fence about how mad to be with Jamie about the choice he makes - hockey has been his whole life and the only source of self-worth he has ever known, even from his cold parents. And yet, once his daughter is out of the equation, it would be nice to see him being braver. He's wealthy, he doesn't need to work, but he WANTS so much to be part of the NHL and a team and that whole world where he was Jameson Sinclair, superstar. He makes Mateo pay for his fears. What the reader has a hard time judging is how bad it would have been to be brave - and we don't know in part because the has NOT been even one gay/bi out hockey player in the NHL. And that, at least, is evidence that it probably would be awful.
The reader has to believe that, believe in real consequences that would damage them both, because Jamie isn't brave about it, and you have to let that happen without getting so mad at him you can't cheer for the ending.
This was well-written and made my heart ache for these guys (and note an epilogue that is a little bittersweet taste - could be skipped if you don't like that)
I will definitely pick up another by this author.
Mateo and Jamie meet and have one night which feels like the beginning of everything. And it is, but it isn't, because the next time they meet, they discover Mateo is Jamie's teen daughter's teacher and soccer coach. And Jamie is a nationally-celebrated hockey player whose career recently ended in injury, but who is recognized everywhere. He's not out as bi, and any move to be out with his kid's teacher would result in a firestorm of publicity that would dump his daughter in the middle of the improper mess.
But they don't want to let go completely of the hopes they kindled, and high school is just 4 years. So they hang on, and they are friends, and they hope... but Jamie has missed hockey desperately and when a chance comes calling, he grabs for it. Even though it means separation and more lies and more years. The friendship they've created and the waiting they've endured may not last past this point.
I was on the fence about how mad to be with Jamie about the choice he makes - hockey has been his whole life and the only source of self-worth he has ever known, even from his cold parents. And yet, once his daughter is out of the equation, it would be nice to see him being braver. He's wealthy, he doesn't need to work, but he WANTS so much to be part of the NHL and a team and that whole world where he was Jameson Sinclair, superstar. He makes Mateo pay for his fears. What the reader has a hard time judging is how bad it would have been to be brave - and we don't know in part because the has NOT been even one gay/bi out hockey player in the NHL. And that, at least, is evidence that it probably would be awful.
The reader has to believe that, believe in real consequences that would damage them both, because Jamie isn't brave about it, and you have to let that happen without getting so mad at him you can't cheer for the ending.
This was well-written and made my heart ache for these guys (and note an epilogue that is a little bittersweet taste - could be skipped if you don't like that)
I will definitely pick up another by this author.
Did Not Finish
May 27, 2026DNF @ 37% - Okay, this is tricky. I loved Landry Brennan's first two books, and when this came out this morning I snatched it up and started reading immediately.
I stopped reading because of something that felt like a "me not the book" kind of problem. But when I think about the first 37% of the book, the truth is that I wasn't loving it, I wasn't getting into it, and there were enough other things wrong that when the "me not the book" thing happened, I was more than happy to DNF.
So, two men meet at a bar and they spend the evening together and have an immediate connection. Then two years or so pass, and in those two years, I don't actually know what Jamie is doing. I mean, he's parenting his child and there are the occasional media appearances, and he apparently texts Mateo frequently and they supposedly say more to each other than "I miss you" - or do they?? But apparently there is a lot going on for Jamie (OR THERE SHOULD BE) and despite half the book being from his perspective, we're just not seeing this at all. There are a lot of issues retired athletes experience, and they're not being explored in any depth (or at all) and I would much, much, much rather read about those than about two men constantly saying they miss each other due to their self-imposed separation. (Or any issues for either character, really. Nothing is being explored in any depth and I want real issues, not unnecessary pining.)
Then the book's written in dual first person, but we don't see the characters' feelings or thoughts at all. We know they miss each other because they say it to each other. (Constantly.) We hear about things that happened to them when they tell each other about it or when the other character finds out about it from another source. I'm not exactly seeing any sexual attraction when they're together as well as when they're apart. I'm 143 pages in and really, it's just friendly conversations, lots of "I miss you" and lots and lots of time passing uneventfully.
In short, this book was so disappointing. I loved Margins and Take It Outside and I just wanted those and not this.
I stopped reading because of something that felt like a "me not the book" kind of problem. But when I think about the first 37% of the book, the truth is that I wasn't loving it, I wasn't getting into it, and there were enough other things wrong that when the "me not the book" thing happened, I was more than happy to DNF.
So, two men meet at a bar and they spend the evening together and have an immediate connection. Then two years or so pass, and in those two years, I don't actually know what Jamie is doing. I mean, he's parenting his child and there are the occasional media appearances, and he apparently texts Mateo frequently and they supposedly say more to each other than "I miss you" - or do they?? But apparently there is a lot going on for Jamie (OR THERE SHOULD BE) and despite half the book being from his perspective, we're just not seeing this at all. There are a lot of issues retired athletes experience, and they're not being explored in any depth (or at all) and I would much, much, much rather read about those than about two men constantly saying they miss each other due to their self-imposed separation. (Or any issues for either character, really. Nothing is being explored in any depth and I want real issues, not unnecessary pining.)
Then the book's written in dual first person, but we don't see the characters' feelings or thoughts at all. We know they miss each other because they say it to each other. (Constantly.) We hear about things that happened to them when they tell each other about it or when the other character finds out about it from another source. I'm not exactly seeing any sexual attraction when they're together as well as when they're apart. I'm 143 pages in and really, it's just friendly conversations, lots of "I miss you" and lots and lots of time passing uneventfully.
In short, this book was so disappointing. I loved Margins and Take It Outside and I just wanted those and not this.
Review of advance copy received from Author
Achingly Beautiful and Absolutely Worth Every Bit of the Heartache
Nothing to Know by Landry Brennan completely consumed me emotionally. This is one of those deeply aching, right-person-wrong-time romances that settles under your skin and refuses to leave long after you finish reading. Jamie Sinclair and Mateo Zavala absolutely broke my heart in the best possible way.
What stood out to me most was how real their connection felt from the very beginning. That first meeting carries this soft, almost dreamlike hopefulness to it — the kind where you instantly understand why neither of them can truly let go afterward, even when life keeps pulling them in opposite directions. Their chemistry never fades, even across years of waiting, longing, almosts, and impossible timing.
And honestly? The waiting HURT. But in the way that made the emotional payoff even stronger for me. This book leans fully into yearning, sacrifice, emotional intimacy, and loving someone even when circumstances refuse to cooperate. Every stolen moment, every “not yet,” every line they tried not to cross made their relationship feel more emotionally loaded.
Jamie especially hit hard for me. Underneath the fame, sharp edges, and hockey-star persona is someone carrying so much pain, uncertainty, and emotional damage after losing the career and identity he built his entire life around. Watching Mateo continue to see him — truly see him — through all of that was honestly beautiful.
Mateo balanced Jamie so well too. He brought this grounded warmth and steadiness to the story that made their connection feel safe even during the messiest emotional moments. No matter how much time passed, the emotional tether between them never weakened.
What Landry Brennan did incredibly well here was allow the relationship to breathe across years without losing the emotional intensity. This wasn’t about instant gratification — it was about timing, healing, fear, identity, and two people continuously finding their way back to each other despite everything standing in the way.
If you love emotional MM romance, years-long yearning, hockey romance, secret relationships, emotional intimacy, and slow-burn second chances that absolutely devastate before healing you, this book delivers so beautifully.
Nothing to Know by Landry Brennan completely consumed me emotionally. This is one of those deeply aching, right-person-wrong-time romances that settles under your skin and refuses to leave long after you finish reading. Jamie Sinclair and Mateo Zavala absolutely broke my heart in the best possible way.
What stood out to me most was how real their connection felt from the very beginning. That first meeting carries this soft, almost dreamlike hopefulness to it — the kind where you instantly understand why neither of them can truly let go afterward, even when life keeps pulling them in opposite directions. Their chemistry never fades, even across years of waiting, longing, almosts, and impossible timing.
And honestly? The waiting HURT. But in the way that made the emotional payoff even stronger for me. This book leans fully into yearning, sacrifice, emotional intimacy, and loving someone even when circumstances refuse to cooperate. Every stolen moment, every “not yet,” every line they tried not to cross made their relationship feel more emotionally loaded.
Jamie especially hit hard for me. Underneath the fame, sharp edges, and hockey-star persona is someone carrying so much pain, uncertainty, and emotional damage after losing the career and identity he built his entire life around. Watching Mateo continue to see him — truly see him — through all of that was honestly beautiful.
Mateo balanced Jamie so well too. He brought this grounded warmth and steadiness to the story that made their connection feel safe even during the messiest emotional moments. No matter how much time passed, the emotional tether between them never weakened.
What Landry Brennan did incredibly well here was allow the relationship to breathe across years without losing the emotional intensity. This wasn’t about instant gratification — it was about timing, healing, fear, identity, and two people continuously finding their way back to each other despite everything standing in the way.
If you love emotional MM romance, years-long yearning, hockey romance, secret relationships, emotional intimacy, and slow-burn second chances that absolutely devastate before healing you, this book delivers so beautifully.
June 11, 2026
This book was hard to bear. The yearning, hurt to read and I just wanted them to give themselves a chance.
Mateo and Jamie meet and instantly recognise something special in each other, but life has other plans. What follows is years of friendship, longing, missed chances, impossible timing, and a love that never really goes away.
This is yearning at its finest.
Not the kind built on unnecessary drama or miscommunication, but the kind that comes from finding the right person at the wrong time and loving them anyway. Every reunion carried years of history behind it, and every moment they shared felt loaded with everything left unsaid.
I won't lie—the waiting hurt a lot! There are years of almosts, sacrifices, and difficult choices, particularly surrounding Jamie's career as a professional hockey player and the very real fears that come with being openly queer in that world. There were definitely moments when I wanted him to be braver, but I also understood why he wasn't. That complexity made him feel incredibly real.
Mateo was the perfect balance to Jamie's uncertainty. He brought warmth, patience, and steadiness to the story, and no matter how much time passed, the connection between them never faded.
What Landry Brennan does so beautifully is allow this relationship to unfold over years without ever losing its emotional intensity. I spent the entire book wanting these two men to finally get their chance.
And when they did? It felt like watching them come home to each other.
This story made me ache, hope, cry, and fall completely in love with their journey.
✨ Hockey romance
✨ Years-long slow burn
✨ Friends to lovers
✨ Emotional yearning
✨ Secret relationship
✨ Found family vibes
✨ Right person, wrong time
One of the most emotional and unforgettable love stories I've read in a long time.
Mateo and Jamie meet and instantly recognise something special in each other, but life has other plans. What follows is years of friendship, longing, missed chances, impossible timing, and a love that never really goes away.
This is yearning at its finest.
Not the kind built on unnecessary drama or miscommunication, but the kind that comes from finding the right person at the wrong time and loving them anyway. Every reunion carried years of history behind it, and every moment they shared felt loaded with everything left unsaid.
I won't lie—the waiting hurt a lot! There are years of almosts, sacrifices, and difficult choices, particularly surrounding Jamie's career as a professional hockey player and the very real fears that come with being openly queer in that world. There were definitely moments when I wanted him to be braver, but I also understood why he wasn't. That complexity made him feel incredibly real.
Mateo was the perfect balance to Jamie's uncertainty. He brought warmth, patience, and steadiness to the story, and no matter how much time passed, the connection between them never faded.
What Landry Brennan does so beautifully is allow this relationship to unfold over years without ever losing its emotional intensity. I spent the entire book wanting these two men to finally get their chance.
And when they did? It felt like watching them come home to each other.
This story made me ache, hope, cry, and fall completely in love with their journey.
✨ Hockey romance
✨ Years-long slow burn
✨ Friends to lovers
✨ Emotional yearning
✨ Secret relationship
✨ Found family vibes
✨ Right person, wrong time
One of the most emotional and unforgettable love stories I've read in a long time.
Review of advance copy received from Author
If you like years of nearly but not quite, lines crossed and put back, waiting for perfect, this is the book for you!
I spent soooo much time yelling at Jamie (affectionate) to slow down and yelling at Mateo to catch up! But that combination works so well for them, Jamie with the flights of fancy, and Mateo there to keep him grounded.
I fell in love with Jamie three pages into his pov, he's overdramatic but he knows it, confident with some big exceptions, and full of heart. Mateo is quieter, his steadiness reassuring, and I so badly needed him to get the happy ending he deserved.
It's a long long road to get there, but seeing their older versions more settled and so at home with each other melts my entire heart. I can't talk about the epilogue, if you've read it you'll know, it broke and healed me. There's a line in there that I just can't stop thinking about. A perfect sum up to Jamie's arc without feeling too on the nose.
In general, I love how nothing works out too perfectly for them. There's a clear competition between hockey and Mateo (whether Jamie admits it or not!), but the book doesn't take the rom-com route of having Jamie give up hockey to be with Mateo. It's something I value in all Landry Brennan's books actually, mature and realistic resolutions, not always the easy way out that would never work in real life. But they still all get a very happy ending!
Finally I just want to give a shout out to the supporting cast, following Harper was a delight, Kai and Sophie were excellent support, I desperately need to get inside Taylor's head and find out what he was thinking the whole way through, and I hope Logan gets the ending he deserves!
I spent soooo much time yelling at Jamie (affectionate) to slow down and yelling at Mateo to catch up! But that combination works so well for them, Jamie with the flights of fancy, and Mateo there to keep him grounded.
I fell in love with Jamie three pages into his pov, he's overdramatic but he knows it, confident with some big exceptions, and full of heart. Mateo is quieter, his steadiness reassuring, and I so badly needed him to get the happy ending he deserved.
It's a long long road to get there, but seeing their older versions more settled and so at home with each other melts my entire heart. I can't talk about the epilogue, if you've read it you'll know, it broke and healed me. There's a line in there that I just can't stop thinking about. A perfect sum up to Jamie's arc without feeling too on the nose.
In general, I love how nothing works out too perfectly for them. There's a clear competition between hockey and Mateo (whether Jamie admits it or not!), but the book doesn't take the rom-com route of having Jamie give up hockey to be with Mateo. It's something I value in all Landry Brennan's books actually, mature and realistic resolutions, not always the easy way out that would never work in real life. But they still all get a very happy ending!
Finally I just want to give a shout out to the supporting cast, following Harper was a delight, Kai and Sophie were excellent support, I desperately need to get inside Taylor's head and find out what he was thinking the whole way through, and I hope Logan gets the ending he deserves!
May 30, 2026
A VERY EMOTIONAL HIGH ANGST READ! 💕🎡⚽️🏒
It took me a while to get into their story as it started off sweet and romantic and then it was downhill for them all the way…
A bench overlooking the ocean became the starting point where their rollercoaster journey began…
"Mateo. There's nothing to know."
Jamie’s character was very selfish and egotistical at first but then once you read between the lines you realise what Mateo saw and why he was prepared to wait and wait and wait and wait for the love of his life to acknowledge him and put him first, and boy was it a long wait- ten years long…🥺
Mateo didn’t want to jeopardise his career or go back into the closet so he drew lines that couldn’t be crossed and wouldn’t deter their friendship until his patience ran out with all Jamie’s “ hookups and dates” throughout the years although they promised to wait for each other… without discussing celibacy or non- celibacy…
Why promise to wait when you move on with your life and career like Jamie did but it took a while for Mateo to eventually move on with someone else to Jamie’s detriment…
“Perfect moments don't last, but we can love them while they do.”
Do they get a happy ending after all their hard worn heartache, rules and stupid mistakes?
Will Jamie climb out of the closet to be openly happy with Mateo?
How will the Hockey world react to Jamie’s bisexuality?
These two emotionally wrought characters had me in a chokehold throughout their tumultuous decade of a never ending love that wrenched my heart out of my chest till the heartbreaking poignant epilogue!😢
I voluntarily received an ARC from GRR and the author for an honest non biased review.
It took me a while to get into their story as it started off sweet and romantic and then it was downhill for them all the way…
A bench overlooking the ocean became the starting point where their rollercoaster journey began…
"Mateo. There's nothing to know."
Jamie’s character was very selfish and egotistical at first but then once you read between the lines you realise what Mateo saw and why he was prepared to wait and wait and wait and wait for the love of his life to acknowledge him and put him first, and boy was it a long wait- ten years long…🥺
Mateo didn’t want to jeopardise his career or go back into the closet so he drew lines that couldn’t be crossed and wouldn’t deter their friendship until his patience ran out with all Jamie’s “ hookups and dates” throughout the years although they promised to wait for each other… without discussing celibacy or non- celibacy…
Why promise to wait when you move on with your life and career like Jamie did but it took a while for Mateo to eventually move on with someone else to Jamie’s detriment…
“Perfect moments don't last, but we can love them while they do.”
Do they get a happy ending after all their hard worn heartache, rules and stupid mistakes?
Will Jamie climb out of the closet to be openly happy with Mateo?
How will the Hockey world react to Jamie’s bisexuality?
These two emotionally wrought characters had me in a chokehold throughout their tumultuous decade of a never ending love that wrenched my heart out of my chest till the heartbreaking poignant epilogue!😢
I voluntarily received an ARC from GRR and the author for an honest non biased review.
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