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Divorce and Remarriage: Ecclesiastical Discernment and Pastoral Care
Biblical guidance on divorce and remarriage for pastors and church leaders facing difficult cases in their church.
Grounded in close scriptural study and the Lutheran tradition, Divorce and Pastoral Care and Ecclesiastical Discernment addresses one of the most difficult realities in congregational how to respond when marriages fracture. Benjamin T.G. Mayes approaches the topic with theological precision and pastoral seriousness, holding together the church’s clear confession with the call to repentance, forgiveness, and restoration.
Drawing on the Synoptic Gospels, Paul’s letters, and the Lutheran tradition of casuistry, Mayes presents a coherent framework for ecclesiastical discernment. He distinguishes between civil and divine law, clarifies the purposes of marriage, and defends the historic Lutheran position that permits divorce and remarriage only in cases of adultery or malicious desertion. Throughout, he shows that these questions are not merely procedural but concern the care of souls.
Practical guidance, real-world cases, and clear theological definitions help bridge the gap between doctrine and pastoral practice, strengthening leaders to act with conviction and care.
This resource
Exegesis of key New Testament texts on divorce and remarriage
A clear presentation of historic Lutheran teaching alongside contemporary views
A framework for applying biblical principles in complex cases
Pastoral guidance for counseling and church discipline
Case studies that demonstrate faithful application in congregational life
In a time when cultural assumptions often shape expectations within the church, this book restores a disciplined, scriptural approach. For pastors, seminary students, and church leaders, it offers guidance that serves both the truth of Christ’s teaching and the good of His people.
Grounded in close scriptural study and the Lutheran tradition, Divorce and Pastoral Care and Ecclesiastical Discernment addresses one of the most difficult realities in congregational how to respond when marriages fracture. Benjamin T.G. Mayes approaches the topic with theological precision and pastoral seriousness, holding together the church’s clear confession with the call to repentance, forgiveness, and restoration.
Drawing on the Synoptic Gospels, Paul’s letters, and the Lutheran tradition of casuistry, Mayes presents a coherent framework for ecclesiastical discernment. He distinguishes between civil and divine law, clarifies the purposes of marriage, and defends the historic Lutheran position that permits divorce and remarriage only in cases of adultery or malicious desertion. Throughout, he shows that these questions are not merely procedural but concern the care of souls.
Practical guidance, real-world cases, and clear theological definitions help bridge the gap between doctrine and pastoral practice, strengthening leaders to act with conviction and care.
This resource
Exegesis of key New Testament texts on divorce and remarriage
A clear presentation of historic Lutheran teaching alongside contemporary views
A framework for applying biblical principles in complex cases
Pastoral guidance for counseling and church discipline
Case studies that demonstrate faithful application in congregational life
In a time when cultural assumptions often shape expectations within the church, this book restores a disciplined, scriptural approach. For pastors, seminary students, and church leaders, it offers guidance that serves both the truth of Christ’s teaching and the good of His people.
283 pages, Kindle Edition
Published July 16, 2026
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August 26, 2026
Divorce and Remarriage: Ecclesiastical Discernment and Pastoral Care (Concordia Publishing House, July 16, 2026, 283 pages – tip: if you want a digital copy, for some reason, it’s far cheaper through Apple Books than through Amazon) by Benjamin G. T. Mayes is a significant new book on an important subject. I first found out about it through the “Issues Etc.” podcast hosted by Todd Wilken. Wilken interviewed Mayes seven times on “Issues Etc.,” summarizing the book and taking listener questions. The online web site The Federalist also favorably publicized the book. I give the book five stars, given its reliance on Scripture primarily and secondarily on the history of the church. Even if one may not agree with every word, the book is thought provoking and challenging. I do think that one should concur with at least a good bit of what’s in the book. There is a long Scripture index at the end of the book.
Dr. Benjamin T. G. Mayes is associate professor and chairman of historical theology at Concordia Theological Seminary, Fort Wayne, Indiana. His doctoral dissertation was published as Counsel and Conscience: Lutheran Casuistry and Moral Reasoning after the Reformation (Vandenhoeck & Ruprecht, 2011). Mayes continues to serve as co-general editor for the new series of Luther’s Works, American Edition (Concordia Publishing House), and has edited many other works, including Johann Gerhard’s Theological Commonplaces (Concordia Publishing House).
Dr. Mayes is in The Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod (LCMS). I don’t remember where I’ve read it, but to its credit, the LCMS has been said to have a better than average record in fostering lasting and healthy marriages.
Mayes upholds the position that divorce is permissible in cases of adultery and desertion. He believes that remarriage is possible for the “innocent party” in a divorce. That’s how many Lutherans and other Protestants through the years have seen this. Others take a dim view of remarriage after any type of divorce.
Mayes offers a very extensive and detailed 31 point list “Principles on Divorce and Remarriage.” He also has a very long series of “case studies” where Mayes offers his view on what should be done in numerous marriage scenarios. He also has theses on clergy divorce and remarriage. Mayes contends that the same standards exist for all, clergy or lay. Others argue that it’s a bit different for clergy given that Scripture speaks of a pastor being “a husband of one wife” and of being above reproach.
Dr. Mayes sets forth what I would consider a couple of particularly controversial views. First, he thinks there should be church marriage councils that evaluate whether divorces and/or remarriages are warranted in certain circumstances. Second, in cases where someone marries someone else unlawfully, i.e., leaves his wife for another woman for invalid reasons, and then decides he did wrong, Mayes says that if the wronged wife wants him back, he should leave the other woman and go back to his original wife, even if he’s married and has children with the second wife. Mayes considers this the fruit of repentance. I have heard of almost nobody doing anything like this, nor of any church requiring anyone to do anything like this. It does make sense logically, as difficult as it may be to accomplish this. But most theologians I’ve read don’t agree with breaking up illegitimate second marriages. It seems that John Piper and A. Andrew Das do not, even though both are strongly against remarriage while the other spouse is still living. John Piper gives reasons why second marriages shouldn’t be broken up in his book, This Momentary Marriage.
But it is far better to try to stop any questionable or wrong marriages in the first place, rather than thinking the untangling of this situation would be easy. Mayes does allow that life is messy and there are “lesser of two evils” situations and that’s where his “church council” idea would hopefully and theoretically provide wisdom.
Churches should have councils and leaders who provide biblical guidance. Unfortunately, there isn’t always consensus in the right way of doing so. In the Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod, while often conservative, there is often a very divided state as to who should be leaders. And recently, a prominent district pastoral leader was charged with federal child pornography. Granted, he was removed from office when the charges came out (and the man in question is to be regarded as innocent until proven guilty), but what kind of pastoral and marriage counsel did he give prior to that? Dr. Mayes’ heart is to be loving and helpful but the church council concept may turn out to be better in theory than in practice.
Also, one may ask the question as to why limit the “church council” review to divorce/remarriage, etc. What about idolaters, thieves, the greedy, gluttons, drunkards, slanderers, and swindlers? How does oversight for all this fit into existing entities like the church board of elders? Also, in Martin Luther’s day, it was recognized that “councils can err.” They can err both in being too strict and in being too lenient.
Overall, this is a very good book, though. Too many churches don’t even try to be biblical here, even when it’s hard. In too many marriage, divorce, and remarriage situations, they are described as “just happening,” when in there are many actions that lead to whatever situations exist. To shine a spotlight on such actions can be a good thing, so that we all can glorify God in our lives and repent and confess sins if necessary. And take positive actions in obedience to God.
Be aware, however, that the author’s idea of church council review, though very much well intentioned, may be unworkable (at least in my opinion) and may have unintended effects. Also, respected theologians John Piper and A. Andrew Das, though very much opposed to remarriage while the divorced spouse is still living, don’t state that any such marriages should be dissolved after the second wedding happens, while Mayes believes that they should be in certain circumstances.
Dr. Benjamin T. G. Mayes is associate professor and chairman of historical theology at Concordia Theological Seminary, Fort Wayne, Indiana. His doctoral dissertation was published as Counsel and Conscience: Lutheran Casuistry and Moral Reasoning after the Reformation (Vandenhoeck & Ruprecht, 2011). Mayes continues to serve as co-general editor for the new series of Luther’s Works, American Edition (Concordia Publishing House), and has edited many other works, including Johann Gerhard’s Theological Commonplaces (Concordia Publishing House).
Dr. Mayes is in The Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod (LCMS). I don’t remember where I’ve read it, but to its credit, the LCMS has been said to have a better than average record in fostering lasting and healthy marriages.
Mayes upholds the position that divorce is permissible in cases of adultery and desertion. He believes that remarriage is possible for the “innocent party” in a divorce. That’s how many Lutherans and other Protestants through the years have seen this. Others take a dim view of remarriage after any type of divorce.
Mayes offers a very extensive and detailed 31 point list “Principles on Divorce and Remarriage.” He also has a very long series of “case studies” where Mayes offers his view on what should be done in numerous marriage scenarios. He also has theses on clergy divorce and remarriage. Mayes contends that the same standards exist for all, clergy or lay. Others argue that it’s a bit different for clergy given that Scripture speaks of a pastor being “a husband of one wife” and of being above reproach.
Dr. Mayes sets forth what I would consider a couple of particularly controversial views. First, he thinks there should be church marriage councils that evaluate whether divorces and/or remarriages are warranted in certain circumstances. Second, in cases where someone marries someone else unlawfully, i.e., leaves his wife for another woman for invalid reasons, and then decides he did wrong, Mayes says that if the wronged wife wants him back, he should leave the other woman and go back to his original wife, even if he’s married and has children with the second wife. Mayes considers this the fruit of repentance. I have heard of almost nobody doing anything like this, nor of any church requiring anyone to do anything like this. It does make sense logically, as difficult as it may be to accomplish this. But most theologians I’ve read don’t agree with breaking up illegitimate second marriages. It seems that John Piper and A. Andrew Das do not, even though both are strongly against remarriage while the other spouse is still living. John Piper gives reasons why second marriages shouldn’t be broken up in his book, This Momentary Marriage.
But it is far better to try to stop any questionable or wrong marriages in the first place, rather than thinking the untangling of this situation would be easy. Mayes does allow that life is messy and there are “lesser of two evils” situations and that’s where his “church council” idea would hopefully and theoretically provide wisdom.
Churches should have councils and leaders who provide biblical guidance. Unfortunately, there isn’t always consensus in the right way of doing so. In the Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod, while often conservative, there is often a very divided state as to who should be leaders. And recently, a prominent district pastoral leader was charged with federal child pornography. Granted, he was removed from office when the charges came out (and the man in question is to be regarded as innocent until proven guilty), but what kind of pastoral and marriage counsel did he give prior to that? Dr. Mayes’ heart is to be loving and helpful but the church council concept may turn out to be better in theory than in practice.
Also, one may ask the question as to why limit the “church council” review to divorce/remarriage, etc. What about idolaters, thieves, the greedy, gluttons, drunkards, slanderers, and swindlers? How does oversight for all this fit into existing entities like the church board of elders? Also, in Martin Luther’s day, it was recognized that “councils can err.” They can err both in being too strict and in being too lenient.
Overall, this is a very good book, though. Too many churches don’t even try to be biblical here, even when it’s hard. In too many marriage, divorce, and remarriage situations, they are described as “just happening,” when in there are many actions that lead to whatever situations exist. To shine a spotlight on such actions can be a good thing, so that we all can glorify God in our lives and repent and confess sins if necessary. And take positive actions in obedience to God.
Be aware, however, that the author’s idea of church council review, though very much well intentioned, may be unworkable (at least in my opinion) and may have unintended effects. Also, respected theologians John Piper and A. Andrew Das, though very much opposed to remarriage while the divorced spouse is still living, don’t state that any such marriages should be dissolved after the second wedding happens, while Mayes believes that they should be in certain circumstances.
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