Jessi never understood the desires that drove her, the electric urge to court danger, to push past fear until adrenaline flooded her veins and her world spun out of control. Every loss in her past had carved sharp edges inside her. Now, she aches for the rush, for the brief escape, no matter the price.
Then Rebecca entered her life. Warm, kind, and full of innocent curiosity. She was the first person who made Jessi believe her fractured heart could be whole. But love, for Jessi, is never easy.
Passion soon pulls Rebecca into the shadows of Jessi’s world, a city teeming with secrets, seduction, and the thrill of breaking rules, where longing blurs every line. But, as Jessi tries to balance control with protecting Rebecca, temptation returns. Each choice draws them closer, toward each other, and the edge of something neither is ready to face.
How far will Jessi go to feel alive, and what heartbreak will she risk to keep her promise to the one person she loves?
I'm J. M. Reines, author, model, and former adult performer. I'm not new to writing but only recently published my first novel, Dangerous Obsessions. It's based on a series of short stories I wrote 20 years ago, and after rewriting, rewriting them again, and rewriting them again, I decided to put them in book form. It is the first in a series of three.
There's a lot of truth in my fiction. I tend to write what I know and have experienced, though changed for dramatic effect. I've found that writing adult fiction can be a bit lonely. I thought I would say hi and see if their are any kindred spirits.
What a wonderful read! Such a beautifully written novel exploring the dynamics between two loving characters, one with a compulsive need to live on the erotic edge and the other a needed balance and counterpoint. The two main characters are lovingly described and extremely well fleshed out, with in-depth forays into their thoughts, motivations and feelings, making the reader care greatly for them and want desperately to see what happens.
Underpinning all of this is an erotic undercurrent of dominance and submission, sex work, and also danger and the occasional violence. The main character, Jessi, has a lot to work through and her obsessions drive her to more and more extreme explorations of her sexuality. All of this is balanced by Rebecca who just wants a loving, happy home together with Jessi. I found their relationship to be sweet, loving, caring and heart-warming. So well depicted. Just a real treat.
What works well here is the interplay between the two lovers and the danger of Jessi's sexual obsessions. This turned the novel into a major page-turner real fast and there's a lot here to keep the reader engaged.
Highly recommended, and I can't wait to start on the next in the series!
I'm sorry for leaving this book a negative review especially after the author and goodreads gave me a free copy but it really didn't work for me. Here's the major reasons why:
1) Sometimes the writing is awkward. Not bad just hard to imagine. The sex scenes sounded clunky. Also, at one point Rebecca has both a sneer and a grin on her face and I don't know how that's possible since it's two different emotions being displayed.
2) the biggest problem is Jessi and Consent and Communication. Jessi says that in bdsm and other sexual fantasies that consent and communication is important in a relationship. But she doesn't show it. Despite Jessi claiming consent and communication are important, she certainly doesn't communicate or get her girlfriend's consent before dancing with other people. Or taking her to sex clubs.
For someone who talks about safety and consent, Jessi sure does like doing things that make her partner feel unsafe and without her consent. Yes it's Jessi's body and she should do what makes her happy but i feel like stripping in front of strangers without warning is at least a conversation with your partner who you live with. Not saying "no" isn't the same as saying "yes". And Rebecca admits to herself that watching Jessi flirt and dance with other people and strip in front of other people makes her uncomfortable. But Rebecca is timid and doesn't like confrontation so she doesn't say "no" but she also doesn't say "yes".
When asking your girlfriend for a threesome with a guy...don't phrase it like this "you don't have to participate. You can stop anytime" bc that sounds like you're gonna bang this guy despite what your GF thinks. And that's not communication or consent. And Jessi says this and pressures Rebecca after Rebecca says she's uncomfortable.
Jessi does ask consent once. But she does it right in front of the guy she's inviting to a threesome before asking Rebecca if she's okay with it. This puts shy Rebecca on the spot. Don't ask her consent in front of the guy...that's just icky and peer pressure. It's worse because jessi says "we'll have a threesome but only of Rebecca thinks you're hot enough". A timid person may say yes just to avoid confrontation with a stranger. Again no communication and not consent if someone just goes along with it because of social anxieties.
The biggest icky factor to me was Jessi's response to Rebecca being uncomfortable with the stranger jessi invites for a threesome. Becca says multiple times she's not comfortable. She says she doesn't really want to be with the guy. She barely consents to WATCH jessi and the guy. Jessi says "hey stranger, Rebecca is just shy. Why don't you go over there and undress her". The guy does and then pushes Rebecca into her knees. Rebecca's girlfriend just told a guy to basically sexually assault Rebecca. I say this because Rebecca did not give permission. Rebecca says she's uncomfortable and jessi literally says "oh Rebecca doesn't actually mean "no". No means yes because she's just shy. She'll like it after you make her do it. Is it just me or does that sound kind of RAPEY?! No no, my wife agrees. It sounds rapey.
All these indicate a real red flag relationship to me. A true partner would check in and ask if you're cool with going to sex clubs and threesomes before any of it happens. And if that answer is not a definite "yes" then that's not communication or consent. And I hate that it's all portrayed as "Oh she just doesn't know she wants it until someone pulls her out of her comfort zone." Its disrespectful of boundaries. Like i know i hate clubbing and if a friend tried to push me into it like jessi does Rebecca? I'd never speak to them again.
3) Jessi's actions
I completely agree with sexual freedom and expression of that. Be as kinky as you want but in the right setting and time. Like stripping before the pizza guy shows up for a thrill. And it's portrayed as okay and fun. Like any guy would love to find a naked woman when they deliver a pizza. Ahhhhh no, not the case. Also imagine if it was reversed. A naked guy answers the door for a pizza delivery woman. That's called sexual harassment and the guy would be in jail. But nooooo it's fine because a woman is doing the harassment.
3) the so called "dangerous" Games Jessi plays is just so....not.
Rebecca is being dragged into skinny dipping and riding in a car while naked. Then runs into the apartment naked. That's just exhibitionist.
The next "dangerous" place Jessi takes Becca? A...bdsm club where everyone tells her she's safe and nothing happens without consent. I'm starting to think someone doesn't know what dangerous means.....the only thing dangerous here is Jessi not caring about making Rebecca uncomfortable.
The next "dangerous" thing Jessi does? Answer the door for the pizza guy while naked.... Again exhibitionist not dangerous.
So all the "dangerous" things so far is just...kinky and normal.
4) racial stereotypes.
At one point jessi invites a black man to join her and Rebecca (without checking to see if Rebecca is comfortable with it). Rebecca privately tells jessi she's uncomfortable because she's never done this before and also nervous because she's heard black men have HUGE penises. Jessi responds that's a stereotype. Great! Then the author makes the black man have a 10 inch penis for comedic reasons...so i guess we are doing stereotypes? Not great! Oh and then despite Rebecca obviously being uncomfortable, Jessi tells him to strip her because she's shy. Imagine if jessi was a guy and he said to his girlfriend "Oh you're just being shy now let this stranger have sex with you. Oh you said no? Well you're just being shy let me do whatever I want with you anyway"* oh look! More non-consent and no communication!
Seriously if jessi was a guy, Jessi would be labeled a sexual criminal and a red flag relationship and a scumbag. And that's why I couldn't even finish the book. The lack of respecting boundaries and listening to when a partner says "I'm not comfortable" or "I'm not sure" and hearing that to mean "yes, I consent" makes jessi unlikable.
At its heart, it's a story about identity, loneliness, acceptance, and the complicated relationship between freedom and belonging.
The real strength of the novel is its characters. Jessi and Rebecca feel like real people, and watching their relationship evolve kept me turning the pages. While the story explores some dark and unconventional themes, it's ultimately the emotional journey that makes it memorable.
The author isn't afraid to explore uncomfortable subjects, but the book works because those moments always serve the larger story of character development. Beneath the risk taking and darker themes is a story about grief, trauma, loneliness, and the desire to belong somewhere.
The pacing is generally strong, although I felt a few sections in the middle could have been tightened to make each escalation feel even more impactful. I also would have enjoyed spending a little more time inside Rebecca's perspective because she's such an interesting character.
Overall, this is a memorable novel with compelling characters, genuine emotional depth, and a story that stayed with me long after I finished reading. I'm looking forward to seeing where the Obsessions series goes next.