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The First Hello
Shawn Tillerman thinks he’s losing his mind. Wary and damaged after a hard life filled with broken promises, he's been having dissociative episodes for the past few months. Flashes of different lives he didn’t live. Walking in the footsteps of men he knows he never was. In these waking dreams, he’s always with a lover, but he can't see the man’s face and doesn’t know his name. Though the episodes are becoming more frequent, he hasn’t told anyone what's happening to him. He’s too busy taking care of his twin sister and keeping her away from Oxy. If he can sell the house he’s inherited from a distant relative, he'll finally have enough money to put her in a good rehab center. He can turn their lives around.
Or not. Because Raleigh, the compelling stranger who wants to buy their house, swears that Shawn isn’t experiencing psychotic episodes, but is reliving memories. That he and Shawn have come together in life after life and time after time. That he is the man from Shawn's dreams, and has been searching everywhere for him. Even if Shawn remembers nothing, Raleigh remembers it all, and he isn’t going to give up now.
Shawn doesn’t believe Raleigh--but he’s beginning to wish he could. What if it is true, after all? What if saying goodbye to all he thought he was sure of is only the first part of hello?
Or not. Because Raleigh, the compelling stranger who wants to buy their house, swears that Shawn isn’t experiencing psychotic episodes, but is reliving memories. That he and Shawn have come together in life after life and time after time. That he is the man from Shawn's dreams, and has been searching everywhere for him. Even if Shawn remembers nothing, Raleigh remembers it all, and he isn’t going to give up now.
Shawn doesn’t believe Raleigh--but he’s beginning to wish he could. What if it is true, after all? What if saying goodbye to all he thought he was sure of is only the first part of hello?
153 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 7, 2015
1 person is currently reading
76 people want to read
About the author
Willa Okati
218 books217 followersWill Okati is made of many things: imagination, coffee, stray cat hairs, daydreams, more coffee, kitchen experimentation, a passion for winter weather, a little more coffee, a whole lot of flowering plants and a lifelong love of storytelling.
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Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews
did-not-finish
November 10, 2023DNF @ 6%. No rating.
I've always loved the concept of reincarnation in romance novels because the idea of two people's love being so strong that they find each other over and over again through time is so darn romantic. So I went through a list of MM romance reincarnation stories and picked two that I thought were interesting. I loved the cover of this one and didn't read the summary closely, which ended up being sort of a good thing but wasn't enough to save this reading experience.
The writing style wasn't my cup of tea because it's that overly wordy, kind of pretentious prose where the author adds a lot of unnecessary details in an effort to make the prose sound nice but all it does is slow the pace to a crawl. Another issue is that I got strong gay fiction vibes from the way the story started. There's a big focus on the MC's many personal problems and his drug addicted sister took up a lot of page time in the short section I read, which is never a good sign. I also read in reviews that the author had put little effort into distinguishing between the flashback timeline versus the present timeline, which is a pet peeve for me. This story switches back and forth between the timelines a lot so knowing that it won't be clear when switches happen would annoy me.
But my other problem came about when I went back to the GR page to check the reviews more thoroughly and I decided to give the blurb a more thorough read. So...it turns out that the author spoils the entire story in the blurb. And when you're talking about a reincarnation story, one of the main attractions is the mystery element of when/where/how the lovers will reunite. But in this case, the author tells you all of that right in the blurb. Since I wasn't vibing with the writing style anyway, that meant there was no point in me continuing.
I've always loved the concept of reincarnation in romance novels because the idea of two people's love being so strong that they find each other over and over again through time is so darn romantic. So I went through a list of MM romance reincarnation stories and picked two that I thought were interesting. I loved the cover of this one and didn't read the summary closely, which ended up being sort of a good thing but wasn't enough to save this reading experience.
The writing style wasn't my cup of tea because it's that overly wordy, kind of pretentious prose where the author adds a lot of unnecessary details in an effort to make the prose sound nice but all it does is slow the pace to a crawl. Another issue is that I got strong gay fiction vibes from the way the story started. There's a big focus on the MC's many personal problems and his drug addicted sister took up a lot of page time in the short section I read, which is never a good sign. I also read in reviews that the author had put little effort into distinguishing between the flashback timeline versus the present timeline, which is a pet peeve for me. This story switches back and forth between the timelines a lot so knowing that it won't be clear when switches happen would annoy me.
But my other problem came about when I went back to the GR page to check the reviews more thoroughly and I decided to give the blurb a more thorough read. So...it turns out that the author spoils the entire story in the blurb. And when you're talking about a reincarnation story, one of the main attractions is the mystery element of when/where/how the lovers will reunite. But in this case, the author tells you all of that right in the blurb. Since I wasn't vibing with the writing style anyway, that meant there was no point in me continuing.
April 17, 2015
2.5?
First of all, the book blurb might as well be marked spoiler because yep that's about it.
The book is written mainly through flashbacks. Shawn is unbalanced through 95% of the book. The episodes he has are more and more frequent as the story progresses and I actually felt off balance with him at times. I had to force myself to keep reading. The ending is very predictable: zero mystery. We never get an explanation of why the situation happens. The story itself is chaotic. I knew from the details (the sister is addicted to oxycontin) that the story is actually taking place in present time, but I never felt that I was IN the present. The back and forth was too extreme. There was no finesse or easing into anything and it made it hard to distinguish where Shawn was at any given time.
I gave the book 3 stars instead of rating less because I did think the idea was beautiful. To have a love that is so strong and complete that the same two souls begin again and again through the ages is a nice idea. The writing is at times almost poetic in flow and smoothness. I know that's probably contradictory to the extremes I mentioned earlier. Almost like the story itself has dual personalities.
I can't really recommend this one. It was hard to get through, and the predictability combined with the blurb info made it an almost pointless effort.
First of all, the book blurb might as well be marked spoiler because yep that's about it.
The book is written mainly through flashbacks. Shawn is unbalanced through 95% of the book. The episodes he has are more and more frequent as the story progresses and I actually felt off balance with him at times. I had to force myself to keep reading. The ending is very predictable: zero mystery. We never get an explanation of why the situation happens. The story itself is chaotic. I knew from the details (the sister is addicted to oxycontin) that the story is actually taking place in present time, but I never felt that I was IN the present. The back and forth was too extreme. There was no finesse or easing into anything and it made it hard to distinguish where Shawn was at any given time.
I gave the book 3 stars instead of rating less because I did think the idea was beautiful. To have a love that is so strong and complete that the same two souls begin again and again through the ages is a nice idea. The writing is at times almost poetic in flow and smoothness. I know that's probably contradictory to the extremes I mentioned earlier. Almost like the story itself has dual personalities.
I can't really recommend this one. It was hard to get through, and the predictability combined with the blurb info made it an almost pointless effort.
May 27, 2015
Wow. That was crazy good. But so many flashbacks did get a little frustrating. Other than that tho. Wow.
May 7, 2015
A Joyfully Jay review.
4 stars
Give me a book on reincarnation and I cannot stay away, and that is exactly what this book offers. We catch up with Shawn initially in present day. But, he is an old soul and there is no true sense of time frame. Shawn is fairly resigned to the way life has treated him, almost as if he’s done it before. He is incredibly protective of his sister and he is a decent guy just trying to get by. So when an offer is made on the house he has inherited, he agrees to stay on in the adjoining cottage to assist with the needed home repairs. The interested home buyer, Raleigh, just happens to have been looking for Shawn for his entire life. This time around, although Shawn is intensely attracted to Raleigh, he does not recognize him and Raleigh cannot understand how that is so. There are times when Raleigh, as well as another secondary character, are just waiting for Shawn to catch on to what they know to be absolute. And why Shawn cannot remember when everyone else can may just be within his control after all, and it offers a bit of a twist on the reincarnation aspect.
This story is at times beautifully crafted and full of descriptive prose. The book alternates between present day and flashbacks and, as the story progresses, the flashbacks become more frequent. The flashbacks are used more as clues for Shawn to regain his memory and less about the details of the past lives they have lived. It is always clear that we are being taken to another time, but the flashbacks are short in length and are offered in glimpses of another place and another time. This story is on the shorter end for a novel and the flashbacks do take up a considerable portion of the book in an attempt to bring in a full picture of Shawn and Raleigh’s connection. At times, how well they knew each other is well conveyed with love, sweetness, tenderness, fear, and emotional pain, while having a dream-like quality. But other times, I needed more in both the past and present day as the story is not about their everyday life and there are not many finer details offered. We do not get a back story on Raleigh for his present day life, we don’t learn much of their former lives other than the eternal love the men have for each other, and there is no larger plot line here. The story is about their love throughout the centuries. A love that never ends, yet continually begins anew.
Read Michelle's review in its entirety here.
4 stars
Give me a book on reincarnation and I cannot stay away, and that is exactly what this book offers. We catch up with Shawn initially in present day. But, he is an old soul and there is no true sense of time frame. Shawn is fairly resigned to the way life has treated him, almost as if he’s done it before. He is incredibly protective of his sister and he is a decent guy just trying to get by. So when an offer is made on the house he has inherited, he agrees to stay on in the adjoining cottage to assist with the needed home repairs. The interested home buyer, Raleigh, just happens to have been looking for Shawn for his entire life. This time around, although Shawn is intensely attracted to Raleigh, he does not recognize him and Raleigh cannot understand how that is so. There are times when Raleigh, as well as another secondary character, are just waiting for Shawn to catch on to what they know to be absolute. And why Shawn cannot remember when everyone else can may just be within his control after all, and it offers a bit of a twist on the reincarnation aspect.
This story is at times beautifully crafted and full of descriptive prose. The book alternates between present day and flashbacks and, as the story progresses, the flashbacks become more frequent. The flashbacks are used more as clues for Shawn to regain his memory and less about the details of the past lives they have lived. It is always clear that we are being taken to another time, but the flashbacks are short in length and are offered in glimpses of another place and another time. This story is on the shorter end for a novel and the flashbacks do take up a considerable portion of the book in an attempt to bring in a full picture of Shawn and Raleigh’s connection. At times, how well they knew each other is well conveyed with love, sweetness, tenderness, fear, and emotional pain, while having a dream-like quality. But other times, I needed more in both the past and present day as the story is not about their everyday life and there are not many finer details offered. We do not get a back story on Raleigh for his present day life, we don’t learn much of their former lives other than the eternal love the men have for each other, and there is no larger plot line here. The story is about their love throughout the centuries. A love that never ends, yet continually begins anew.
Read Michelle's review in its entirety here.
June 15, 2015
I’ve always enjoyed stories about people who meet time after time in different lives. It might have to do with this idea I have that every person we meet is here for a very specific reason, and that a goodbye is never really a good bye. I find the whole thing comforting, and it brings certain kind of peace in knowing that no matter how much it hurts to lose someone in this life, there is always the next. Am I weird? Eh, maybe.
This story was comforting like that.
Shawn inherited a house from a long distance relative. Since his and his sister’s situation isn¡t easy, and hasn’t been easy for a very long time, he decides to sell the house, get the money and help his sister with a problem she’s been having for quite a while now. Turns out that the person who is to buy the house is Raleigh.
When they meet, Raleigh immediately recognizes Shawn, but Shawn has no clue of who Raleigh is or what a big piece he’s been in his past lives. It’s Raleigh’s job to make Shawn remember, somehow.
Their love story is sweet, and I think I could even say rather powerful? All through the book we see bits of their past lives together, and it was lovely to read… However… The way the memories (let’s call them that) were thrown in there was a bit confusing to me. There is no change in the font, or there is but only in a few of those memories, so in the beginning I did get lost, like, very, very lost. I wasn’t sure what I was reading or what was happening. Aside from that I really found this to be an enjoyable read.
There is the fact that we have different secondary characters that are somehow connected to the main characters, and have been for literally ages. The idea of recognizing your soul mate was awfully romantic, and I liked it a lot.
This story was comforting like that.
Shawn inherited a house from a long distance relative. Since his and his sister’s situation isn¡t easy, and hasn’t been easy for a very long time, he decides to sell the house, get the money and help his sister with a problem she’s been having for quite a while now. Turns out that the person who is to buy the house is Raleigh.
When they meet, Raleigh immediately recognizes Shawn, but Shawn has no clue of who Raleigh is or what a big piece he’s been in his past lives. It’s Raleigh’s job to make Shawn remember, somehow.
Their love story is sweet, and I think I could even say rather powerful? All through the book we see bits of their past lives together, and it was lovely to read… However… The way the memories (let’s call them that) were thrown in there was a bit confusing to me. There is no change in the font, or there is but only in a few of those memories, so in the beginning I did get lost, like, very, very lost. I wasn’t sure what I was reading or what was happening. Aside from that I really found this to be an enjoyable read.
There is the fact that we have different secondary characters that are somehow connected to the main characters, and have been for literally ages. The idea of recognizing your soul mate was awfully romantic, and I liked it a lot.
June 19, 2015
#125th book of 2015
This story had the potential to go very wrong but it didn't. But a story that has the potential to turn out very wrong, can also if handled right have the potential to be amazing. And Willa Okati delivers excellence with this story.
This story is about a couple who have been reborn for ages remembering each other. But in this life Shawn doesn't remember Raliegh while Raliegh remembers everything and every life he has spent with Shawn's previous births.
"Every time a life ended, when I closed my eyes, I remember how I’d think of you. How glad I’d be to see you again soon, young and healthy. It didn’t seem so hard to say good-bye when it was just a pause before the first hello.”
This story is really poetic and it touched me. If someone asked me if I believe in reincarnation, I would probably say "Yes". I mean knowing that you would end up with the one you love again puts a whole new perspective on love, life and death.
It is a very different love story and it could have turned out so many different ways but I loved the way it did turn out to be. It is nice to think that your first hello might never be the first and your birth not the beginning of your life.
This story had the potential to go very wrong but it didn't. But a story that has the potential to turn out very wrong, can also if handled right have the potential to be amazing. And Willa Okati delivers excellence with this story.
This story is about a couple who have been reborn for ages remembering each other. But in this life Shawn doesn't remember Raliegh while Raliegh remembers everything and every life he has spent with Shawn's previous births.
"Every time a life ended, when I closed my eyes, I remember how I’d think of you. How glad I’d be to see you again soon, young and healthy. It didn’t seem so hard to say good-bye when it was just a pause before the first hello.”
This story is really poetic and it touched me. If someone asked me if I believe in reincarnation, I would probably say "Yes". I mean knowing that you would end up with the one you love again puts a whole new perspective on love, life and death.
It is a very different love story and it could have turned out so many different ways but I loved the way it did turn out to be. It is nice to think that your first hello might never be the first and your birth not the beginning of your life.
April 16, 2015
What can I say...This book put me through such myriad of emotions in only 120 pages,and for that alone it deserves 5 stars.
But it would be unfair not to mention author's narrative skills,poetic and beautiful in its nature,so strong that,although we were only given Shawn's POV,I was able to feel Raleigh's hurt and pain when he finally found his long-lost lover,only to realize that Shawn doesn't remember him...burden that he must carry - memories worth of thousand lives.And Shawn,who is so strong,and so vulnerable and broken at the same time,wants that love that is offered to him,that kind of love that lovers in his dreams have,and yet he is terrified by it. It's hard to believe in love that defies life and death,when your whole life has been constant struggle and pain...
But the moments when I was truly touched were when I was reading those glimpses of Stefan,Sean,Sionn...love so great,and yet laced with so much pain...and that made this bittersweet read for me,because those memories of long lost lovers evoked strongest emotions in me.
But don't worry,this book ends on a happy note...
Well,what can I say,read it,you won't be disappointed.
But it would be unfair not to mention author's narrative skills,poetic and beautiful in its nature,so strong that,although we were only given Shawn's POV,I was able to feel Raleigh's hurt and pain when he finally found his long-lost lover,only to realize that Shawn doesn't remember him...burden that he must carry - memories worth of thousand lives.And Shawn,who is so strong,and so vulnerable and broken at the same time,wants that love that is offered to him,that kind of love that lovers in his dreams have,and yet he is terrified by it. It's hard to believe in love that defies life and death,when your whole life has been constant struggle and pain...
But the moments when I was truly touched were when I was reading those glimpses of Stefan,Sean,Sionn...love so great,and yet laced with so much pain...and that made this bittersweet read for me,because those memories of long lost lovers evoked strongest emotions in me.
But don't worry,this book ends on a happy note...
Well,what can I say,read it,you won't be disappointed.
April 17, 2015
A lovely little gem. Really liked the story of this one.
September 10, 2018
Enjoyable story. Loved the premise, reincarnation has fascinated me since I was a child. The writing is very good, poetic at times. For some reason though, even though I knew when they were in modern times, I kept envisioning them in pirate gear. I would have loved to have gotten a feel for the MCs. The flashbacks tended to be mostly during intimate times and the POV was from the guy who didn't remember, so it felt a little lacking in that aspect to me.
July 26, 2015
The plot here is a wonderfully unique take on star-crossed lovers. While Shawn is in a fight to save his sister, his real battle is between what his heart knows to be true and his mind refuses to accept. As much as Shawn rages against the truth, Raleigh is forever the calm in his storm. And what I love most is that Raleigh never gives up, even in the face of Shawn’s denial.
Lototy
Reviewer for Coffee Time Romance & More
Official Review @ Coffee Time Romance & More
Lototy
Reviewer for Coffee Time Romance & More
Official Review @ Coffee Time Romance & More
February 21, 2017
4.5
That was wonderful and awful at the same time. It was so melancholy and lonely and sad and yet with the promise of a beautiful forever. But somehow the sadness never left me despite the HEA. I can't explain why but it was beautifully written and if not too enjoyable for me, a great book.
That was wonderful and awful at the same time. It was so melancholy and lonely and sad and yet with the promise of a beautiful forever. But somehow the sadness never left me despite the HEA. I can't explain why but it was beautifully written and if not too enjoyable for me, a great book.
March 7, 2016
Full review can be found at The Novel Approach
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews