What do you think?
Rate this book
Forget Nico: Gender Identity. First Love. Italy. Memoir.
Not yet published
Expected 7 Jul 26301 pages, Kindle Edition
Expected publication July 7, 2026
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 of 1 review
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
I read this as an ARC reader on NetGalley, cross posted my review on Goodreads.
Urgh. I related to Leda way more than I thought I would going into this.
I ended up accidentally skipping over the acknowledgement at the beginning that states this book is based on the authors real life experiences. I did figure it out a few chapters in, but it helped me re-conceptualise the characters and how they acted with a real life lens. It's hard to criticise Ledas decisions in the book, knowing they're a reflection of the authors real life, but I'll try.
I saw myself in Leda quite a lot. Despite not being Italian or going through my teens during the 1990's, I do understand the hollow feeling of not fitting in with the world's expectation of being an 'ideal' or 'normal' girl while growing up. The actual dread that hit my stomach in the first chapter, where Leda wore a skirt, and we heard her negative emotions about it while her mother was happy to have a feminine daughter.... Despite not coming out with a different gender identity, to be observed, I understand all too well the feeling of being left behind while all your friends are having sex, dressing up in short and tight clothes, and making their entire life about their partner. I may be biased, as an asexual, but I still relate. I also have to skip constantly talking about the existential dread of growing up as a woman, or I'll be here all day comparing this book to my own life.
I liked this book. Some of the characters pissed me off, and some of them were great. I hated Alex. I got mad every time his character was mentioned or even in a scene. Alex spends the entire book flirting with Leda, and asking her out continuously, and despite getting turned down NINETEEN times (“I want it on the record that you turned me down for the nineteenth time.” - Chapter 22), he gets aggressively jealous and has tantrums when she shows no interest in him (He growled . "I saw you looking at him! You have a crush on him!” - Chapter 22). The constant blackmailing and creepiness from him actually drove me insane. Especially my least favourite thing he supposedly did in chapter 11, "Alex had been a complete ass before (he’d stolen my panties from the laundry pile in the summer of 1990)". Eyuck.
Every man in this book is awful, but I couldn't stop being surprised at what they said, whether the author exaggerates or not. Lines like “Well, I need to say this. I saw your growing titties, and they’re pretty" actually had me drop my jaw in shock as I was reading. The other characters actions mixed with Ledas internal thoughts are really great and helps contextualise what was considered more 'normal' at the time. *Cough* Sexual harassment. *Cough*
One of my only real criticisms with the book is that almost every male character ends up with a crush on Leda. I realise this could have happened in real life, but it got to the point where another character would confess and I would just sigh to myself. The amount of times Leda needed to turn someone down, even the same characters multiple times, made me annoyed as it continued happening.
I really, really, really liked the ending. I thought it was cute, all the pining finally reaching a real pay-off for Leda and Nico. Their weird obsessive hate-love thing was cute as a teenage perspective, as well as both of them acknowledging that they are at different stages and aren't ready for the same things, but still wanting to try because they like each other is adorable. Maybe if Nico wasn't such a man-whore I'd like him more, but it fits well for the story and his character. Definitely adds to the relationship stakes.
Urgh. I related to Leda way more than I thought I would going into this.
I ended up accidentally skipping over the acknowledgement at the beginning that states this book is based on the authors real life experiences. I did figure it out a few chapters in, but it helped me re-conceptualise the characters and how they acted with a real life lens. It's hard to criticise Ledas decisions in the book, knowing they're a reflection of the authors real life, but I'll try.
I saw myself in Leda quite a lot. Despite not being Italian or going through my teens during the 1990's, I do understand the hollow feeling of not fitting in with the world's expectation of being an 'ideal' or 'normal' girl while growing up. The actual dread that hit my stomach in the first chapter, where Leda wore a skirt, and we heard her negative emotions about it while her mother was happy to have a feminine daughter.... Despite not coming out with a different gender identity, to be observed, I understand all too well the feeling of being left behind while all your friends are having sex, dressing up in short and tight clothes, and making their entire life about their partner. I may be biased, as an asexual, but I still relate. I also have to skip constantly talking about the existential dread of growing up as a woman, or I'll be here all day comparing this book to my own life.
I liked this book. Some of the characters pissed me off, and some of them were great. I hated Alex. I got mad every time his character was mentioned or even in a scene. Alex spends the entire book flirting with Leda, and asking her out continuously, and despite getting turned down NINETEEN times (“I want it on the record that you turned me down for the nineteenth time.” - Chapter 22), he gets aggressively jealous and has tantrums when she shows no interest in him (He growled . "I saw you looking at him! You have a crush on him!” - Chapter 22). The constant blackmailing and creepiness from him actually drove me insane. Especially my least favourite thing he supposedly did in chapter 11, "Alex had been a complete ass before (he’d stolen my panties from the laundry pile in the summer of 1990)". Eyuck.
Every man in this book is awful, but I couldn't stop being surprised at what they said, whether the author exaggerates or not. Lines like “Well, I need to say this. I saw your growing titties, and they’re pretty" actually had me drop my jaw in shock as I was reading. The other characters actions mixed with Ledas internal thoughts are really great and helps contextualise what was considered more 'normal' at the time. *Cough* Sexual harassment. *Cough*
One of my only real criticisms with the book is that almost every male character ends up with a crush on Leda. I realise this could have happened in real life, but it got to the point where another character would confess and I would just sigh to myself. The amount of times Leda needed to turn someone down, even the same characters multiple times, made me annoyed as it continued happening.
I really, really, really liked the ending. I thought it was cute, all the pining finally reaching a real pay-off for Leda and Nico. Their weird obsessive hate-love thing was cute as a teenage perspective, as well as both of them acknowledging that they are at different stages and aren't ready for the same things, but still wanting to try because they like each other is adorable. Maybe if Nico wasn't such a man-whore I'd like him more, but it fits well for the story and his character. Definitely adds to the relationship stakes.
Displaying 1 of 1 review