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Alien vs. Debbie: An Erotic Adventure
When a mysterious event mysteriously caused Nancy "Debbie" Archer to grow fifty feet tall, there was only thing she wanted to do with her new body: bang Godzilla. Now that she's achieved that goal, and now that a military bomb has blown her giant body to bits and sent those bits flying into outer space, where they mysteriously come back together in the form of her old, non-giant self, there's only one thing she wants to do with her old body: bang some aliens!
Rescued from interstellar limbo by a commercial space freighter, Debbie quickly seduces the human crew... but finds herself yearning for more. Lucky for her the ship she's aboard happens to have a cargo hold full of famous fictional aliens! When the truth comes out that Debbie herself is a fictional character (from Attack of the 50 Ft Woman, duh), she too becomes prisoner of the ship, whose mission it is to mine fictional beings from the multiverse.
Hatching an escape plot with famous TV alien ALF, Debbie inadvertently sets free some other aliens as well... some extremely deadly, extremely horny aliens. With these horrors on the loose, every human and alien aboard the ship is in danger. But Debbie has a plan to save them all—a plan that of course involves a lot of hot, sloppy action with those alien monsters. Of course.
This 18,000 word erotic story is for mature audiences only. It contains adult material and explicit scenes of sex. All characters engaged in sexual acts are over 18.
Rescued from interstellar limbo by a commercial space freighter, Debbie quickly seduces the human crew... but finds herself yearning for more. Lucky for her the ship she's aboard happens to have a cargo hold full of famous fictional aliens! When the truth comes out that Debbie herself is a fictional character (from Attack of the 50 Ft Woman, duh), she too becomes prisoner of the ship, whose mission it is to mine fictional beings from the multiverse.
Hatching an escape plot with famous TV alien ALF, Debbie inadvertently sets free some other aliens as well... some extremely deadly, extremely horny aliens. With these horrors on the loose, every human and alien aboard the ship is in danger. But Debbie has a plan to save them all—a plan that of course involves a lot of hot, sloppy action with those alien monsters. Of course.
This 18,000 word erotic story is for mature audiences only. It contains adult material and explicit scenes of sex. All characters engaged in sexual acts are over 18.
60 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 6, 2015
2 people are currently reading
52 people want to read
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Emma Steele
6 books1 followerLibrarian Note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.
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September 16, 2018is that an alien in your tummy or are you just happy to see me??
this book is like if arthur c. clarke* wrote monsterporn.
i never got the chance to read Debbie Does Monsterland since it is one of those jerkbooks that is kindle-only, so i was grateful-but-apprehensive when someone gifted me a copy of this, the second volume in the F*ck All Monsters trilogy. what if i couldn't follow the plot without the foundation laid (heh) in the first volume? what if there was relevant backstory or foreshadowing that a reader needed to be familiar with in order to enjoy this story? i was only half-serious, because monsterporn, but darn it if this piece of erotica didn't transcend the genre and raise the bar of what monsterotica can grow up to be. there actually IS plot and character and reasoning. she even spells the word "taut" correctly. i needn't have worried about being confused - through surprisingly graceful expository flashbacks and memories we get enough backstory to be comfortable situated in the story, so we can just focus on all the orgies without interrupting with too many questions.
before we get to the details (and i PROMISE you there will be MANY FILTHY DETAILS and SO MANY PICTURES) i want to take a second to do a sorta blanket commentary on the strengths of this book and what sets it apart from the crowd. for monsterporn, this is very long, clocking in at 66 pages. also unusual for monsterporn is the author's attention to detail, coherent storyline, and ability to surprise. this is a truly literary version of monsterporn, sure to sweep the monsterporn awards ceremonies whenever they finally decide to make that a real thing. could "emma steele" be a pseudonym for orson scott card??"**
not only does the story feature intercourse between a woman and a million different species of aliens, pansexual debbie also intercourses human men and women, black and white, old and young, hot and not, in a ballet of physical and sexual flexibility.
and it's funny! it's metaporn - satirical, self-referential, with gentle pokes (and some deep thrusts) directed at the sci-fi and erotica genres both.
but it's also very sad. very emotional. sometimes sex gets outta hand, and not all of the human or creature lovers are gonna live through these 60 pages.
bottom (heh) line - it is genuinely enjoyable, which is not something i can say for a lot of monsterporn.
okay, let's get to the part you all came (heh) here for.
so, this story is about nancy "debbie" archer who is, at fifty feet tall, the "giantest person on earth." you may know her from this movie poster:
this takes place immediately after the events from Debbie Does Monsterland, in which debbie gets horny, breaks out of her imprisonment in a medical research facility and heads straight for monster island to fuck all its resident monsters, culminating in best sex ever - godzilla. patriarchal america gets mad at this liberated sexual congress and a nuclear warhead blows debbie apart into stardust while she's in the middle of boning that lizard. rude.
The billowing tower lifted her up, up, through the highest reaches of the atmosphere - and into outer space - her atoms streaming out like radiation… like a ribbon of etheric jizz, whipping through the emptiness to splatter the distant moon: a cosmic cum shot, with Stardust Debbie as the semen - Debbie as atomic splooge, creaming the face of the moon.. pooling into an empty lunar sea…
i mean, already that's far more ambitious than any monsterporn i've read, and it goes on to really make science sexy. you know, for the schoolkids: ***
It's small, this wormhole: about the size of a human vagina - a normal human vagina, not a giant one like Debbie's had been. Set into the ground like the mouth of a burrow, the wormhole shimmers and hums, wet with mystery - again, like a vagina. At one point an American flag stood here; it was the planting of the flag, in fact, which opened the wormhole in the first place - the pole's downward stab not only piercing the lunar surface, but poking a hole into space-time itself … a hole which later grew, sucking the Stars and Stripes down into it, until it was about the size, I repeat, of a vagina - at which point it stabilized, in balance with the rock around it. Now here it waits, unknown to man: a hungry throat leading off to exotic dimensions.
Just like a vagina.
metaphysical and cosmological erotica ensues, and then suddenly debbie finds herself, atomically reconstituted, aboard a spaceship called The Pastrami, humansized, confused, horny, and in the company of both harry dean stanton
and tom skerritt,
which is all well and good, but debbie is really dismayed by being so small.
Debbie looks at herself. One-tenth the woman she used to be. One-tenth the surface area; one-tenth the nerve endings. She looks at her clit, commonplace now, remembering how it had been: the clit of a giantess, as large as a man's hand… packed so full of nerves it might as well have been a brain - a brain built solely to dream of flesh on flesh, wet, hard, tight … its dreams realer than most realities…
But now, her clit - so tiny - it's like a raisin, its former glory shriveled.
debbie's not giving up, though! she's gotta test-drive this new body, this new clit, and so she totally fucks tom skerritt and harry dean stanton. while stuck all over with acupuncture needles. it's as hot and bloody as a T-bone. (heh)
and even though she is used to more magnificent genitals, debbie is a glass half-full kinda girl
Debbie's breath catches as she sees their cocks flip out and up, slimy pre-cum already shining on the tips. For an instant she thinks of the last cock she had: Godzilla's. A cock she had lusted for, had fought off tanks and infantry for, swam an ocean for. A Holy Grail of a cock. She feels a twinge of sadness now, faced with these two human dicks. But it's time to move in, she reminds herself - to quest for Grails afresh - and she knows that, just as there's something of the giantess in her, there's something of the King of the Monsters in these men. Something of the lizard in them. She can see it in the way their eyes bore into her, an ancient hunger burning in them like cold fire. Their cocks throbbing with delirious blood. Watching a vein pulse on Tom's shaft, Debbie feels her stomach flutter with excitement. These cocks - these commonplace cocks - they're colossal in their souls.
after that fluid-heavy encounter with tom's dick and harry, debbie learns is that it is 1987 and she meets (and has sex with) the other members of the crew (you may have seen this coming but pretend to be surprised):
yaphet kotto
veronica cartwright
ian holm
john hurt
and sigourney weaver
it is a VERY sexxy ship, unencumbered by pesky sexual harassment lawsuits and full of mutual desire and easy-to-unzip coveralls. yaphet kotto and debbie are like butterflies performing a springtime mating dance:
Then, to dismiss Debbie, he slaps her on the ass, saying, "Welcome aboard, baby."
Debbie grabs the crotch of his coveralls, squeezes. "I already love it here."
but that's enough sex for five minutes - let's learn more about The Pastrami and its mission. by which i mean the ship. debbie is given a tour of the ship, including belowdecks. by which i mean the cargo hold. but also of john hurt's genitals.
first, he shows her the ship's many cages
"This is our cargo," John Hurt says. "We collect aliens - in particular, aliens from popular culture: film, television, comic books." these creatures are put into zoos and admired by all.
and just FYI, hurt goes on to assure any entertainment lawyers who may be in the house
"Most of these are copyright 20th Century Fox and/or Time Warner and/or Universal Studios, and are presented here for informational and/or entertainment purposes only.
later, we are reminded by our om. narr. that these aliens are:
All copyrighted, mind you, by their respective parties, and used here without permission for philosophical purposes only)
so don't even sweat the copyright violations as these iconic aliens get an eyeful of debbie fucking john hurt. and we learn that it's not just E.T.'s finger that glows, but also his member and also what comes out of his member. and it all just makes debbie very wistful, despite the pages and pages of human sex she has been getting.
Still on the floor, the stumpy alien jacks off as it watches Captain Hurt spray Debbie with semen. When the alien cums, what shoots out is glowing red. Like magma.
Feeling the lukewarm spittle of human semen ooze down her chest, Debbie imagines it's magma.
she's been on the ship for some time, enjoying the sex, but also frustrated - never as satisfied as she had been after godzilla, and with so many questions about her transition and what it all means. fortunately, there's a psychiatrist onboard. and she's really good at her job.
Sigourney Weaver starts the balls clacking in a Newton's cradle on her desk. "Debbie, you've still never told me how you became a giant in the first place. It could shed some light on your problem."
"It's - difficult - for me … to talk about."
"I could hypnotize you. Would you like me to hypnotize you?"
She thinks about it. "Sure."
Sigourney Weaver hypnotizes her.
"Okay, Debbie, you're hypnotized. Now tell me what the fuck happened."
Hypnotized, Debbie says, "What the fuck happened was this," and she proceeds to tell her entire life story - which was way more than Sigourney Weaver wanted, but she sits and listens to it anyway, nodding off only occasionally.
You have to be careful what you ask for, with hypnosis
and after that impressive display of doctoring, sigourney weaver drops some science-hypotheses about why debbie is only just regular-sized now, and it actually makes sense. inasmuch as science has ever made sense to anyone.
but
"I feel like we've been in this office an awful long time. None of this is really forwarding the story's action. Shouldn't we get out of here already? It's been too long since there's been a sex scene."
and debbie's right. so she has sex with veronica cartwright. and also sigourney weaver.
then circum(heh)stances … change for debbie. i'm done mapping out the storyline - you need to read this thing for yourselves and all, but i promised some pictures and i'm going to deliver on that promise. all you need to know is that debbie and her genitals make some allies in the cargo hold. and i wish to god i knew how to make those boxy things that the new adult kids do and that mark rants about in his review here because i would make the most epic one ever, kitties be damned! for now, i guess i'll just add photos in the only shitty way i know how. to that end - here are the nonhuman participants in debbie's adventures in lovemaking, whether one-on-one romance or straight-up gangbang:
E.T.
Debbie's abdomen glows a warm red, the luminous tips of cock and finger shining out through the flesh … like putting a flashlight in your mouth…
ALF
ALF, as you know, loves eating pussy. and "I wish you could fuck me, ALF" is a sentence i never thought i would ever read.
the predator
who is, apparently, "kind of an asshole."
jabba the hutt
debbie engages in anal sex with his three-inch cock. and it is pretty much as disgusting as you would think: Jabba the Hutt laughs as his stunted tool spurts a dribble of rotten semen into Debbie's large intestine
xenomorph
xenomorph has acidic semen and a trick dick
The glans of the penis resembles the alien's cranium - elongated and smooth. As it swells tighter and tighter, there emerges from within its urethral opening a second penis: a lesser shaft gliding out through the meatus, the nested cocks throbbing as bubbly pre-cum leaks from the tip of the inner dick.
like this, only lower:
the gorn
The Gorn ejaculates on Debbie's face, hissing murderously, just like it did in that episode of Star Trek where it was coming after Captain Kirk to kill him.
the following are creatures mentioned in passing as participating, but without alluring excerpts for me to share. but you can still enjoy the mental image of debbie intercoursing with these beloved characters:
marvin the martian
MAC from mac and me****
the great gazoo
mork
the monolith from 2001
i love this book. it's genuinely funny and violent and bloody and crazy and there's just wall-to-wall sex and some ingenious solutions to unusual problems. there is also philosophy, physics, and so much cheekiness:
"I thought The Pastrami's mission was to collect fictional characters in general, not just fictional aliens. What gives? Could I get some exposition on this?"
and true romance
She begs mentally for it to hurry up; she needs its terrifying penis now
and either your worst fucking nightmare or one bitchin' tattoo.
Then, at last, the Predator and the Xenomorph close on her. They mount her like two demonic stallions from some incomprehensible hell.
and it all ends on one helluva cliffhanger/promise. it is quite simply the most impressive and surprising book i have ever read in which a woman has sex with the entire cast of a movie from the eighties.
i need part three. and also part one. and probably some other parts.
*name chosen at random from mental list of "generally respected sci-fi novelists i have never read." so, if arthur c. clarke did, in fact, write monsterporn, swap his name out for a different generally respected sci-fi novelist who never did. OR, if arthur c. clarke was some kind of homophobe or he spree-killed a bunch of hobos or has some other sort of attendant negative connotations unknown to me, feel free to swap his name out for someone who writes good and doesn't spree-kill. basically, all you need to know is that this is some damn well-written and intentionally funny sci-fi monsterporn.
** dear lawsuit - emma steele is NOT a pseudonym for orson scott card
*** do not use this story to teach science to schoolkids.
**** which - i have never seen this movie, so i need someone to tell me if it is as fucking bonkers as it appears from these pictures. seriously - why why a thousand times why?
come to my blog!
this book is like if arthur c. clarke* wrote monsterporn.
i never got the chance to read Debbie Does Monsterland since it is one of those jerkbooks that is kindle-only, so i was grateful-but-apprehensive when someone gifted me a copy of this, the second volume in the F*ck All Monsters trilogy. what if i couldn't follow the plot without the foundation laid (heh) in the first volume? what if there was relevant backstory or foreshadowing that a reader needed to be familiar with in order to enjoy this story? i was only half-serious, because monsterporn, but darn it if this piece of erotica didn't transcend the genre and raise the bar of what monsterotica can grow up to be. there actually IS plot and character and reasoning. she even spells the word "taut" correctly. i needn't have worried about being confused - through surprisingly graceful expository flashbacks and memories we get enough backstory to be comfortable situated in the story, so we can just focus on all the orgies without interrupting with too many questions.
before we get to the details (and i PROMISE you there will be MANY FILTHY DETAILS and SO MANY PICTURES) i want to take a second to do a sorta blanket commentary on the strengths of this book and what sets it apart from the crowd. for monsterporn, this is very long, clocking in at 66 pages. also unusual for monsterporn is the author's attention to detail, coherent storyline, and ability to surprise. this is a truly literary version of monsterporn, sure to sweep the monsterporn awards ceremonies whenever they finally decide to make that a real thing. could "emma steele" be a pseudonym for orson scott card??"**
not only does the story feature intercourse between a woman and a million different species of aliens, pansexual debbie also intercourses human men and women, black and white, old and young, hot and not, in a ballet of physical and sexual flexibility.
and it's funny! it's metaporn - satirical, self-referential, with gentle pokes (and some deep thrusts) directed at the sci-fi and erotica genres both.
but it's also very sad. very emotional. sometimes sex gets outta hand, and not all of the human or creature lovers are gonna live through these 60 pages.
bottom (heh) line - it is genuinely enjoyable, which is not something i can say for a lot of monsterporn.
okay, let's get to the part you all came (heh) here for.
so, this story is about nancy "debbie" archer who is, at fifty feet tall, the "giantest person on earth." you may know her from this movie poster:
this takes place immediately after the events from Debbie Does Monsterland, in which debbie gets horny, breaks out of her imprisonment in a medical research facility and heads straight for monster island to fuck all its resident monsters, culminating in best sex ever - godzilla. patriarchal america gets mad at this liberated sexual congress and a nuclear warhead blows debbie apart into stardust while she's in the middle of boning that lizard. rude.
The billowing tower lifted her up, up, through the highest reaches of the atmosphere - and into outer space - her atoms streaming out like radiation… like a ribbon of etheric jizz, whipping through the emptiness to splatter the distant moon: a cosmic cum shot, with Stardust Debbie as the semen - Debbie as atomic splooge, creaming the face of the moon.. pooling into an empty lunar sea…
i mean, already that's far more ambitious than any monsterporn i've read, and it goes on to really make science sexy. you know, for the schoolkids: ***
It's small, this wormhole: about the size of a human vagina - a normal human vagina, not a giant one like Debbie's had been. Set into the ground like the mouth of a burrow, the wormhole shimmers and hums, wet with mystery - again, like a vagina. At one point an American flag stood here; it was the planting of the flag, in fact, which opened the wormhole in the first place - the pole's downward stab not only piercing the lunar surface, but poking a hole into space-time itself … a hole which later grew, sucking the Stars and Stripes down into it, until it was about the size, I repeat, of a vagina - at which point it stabilized, in balance with the rock around it. Now here it waits, unknown to man: a hungry throat leading off to exotic dimensions.
Just like a vagina.
metaphysical and cosmological erotica ensues, and then suddenly debbie finds herself, atomically reconstituted, aboard a spaceship called The Pastrami, humansized, confused, horny, and in the company of both harry dean stanton
and tom skerritt,
which is all well and good, but debbie is really dismayed by being so small.
Debbie looks at herself. One-tenth the woman she used to be. One-tenth the surface area; one-tenth the nerve endings. She looks at her clit, commonplace now, remembering how it had been: the clit of a giantess, as large as a man's hand… packed so full of nerves it might as well have been a brain - a brain built solely to dream of flesh on flesh, wet, hard, tight … its dreams realer than most realities…
But now, her clit - so tiny - it's like a raisin, its former glory shriveled.
debbie's not giving up, though! she's gotta test-drive this new body, this new clit, and so she totally fucks tom skerritt and harry dean stanton. while stuck all over with acupuncture needles. it's as hot and bloody as a T-bone. (heh)
and even though she is used to more magnificent genitals, debbie is a glass half-full kinda girl
Debbie's breath catches as she sees their cocks flip out and up, slimy pre-cum already shining on the tips. For an instant she thinks of the last cock she had: Godzilla's. A cock she had lusted for, had fought off tanks and infantry for, swam an ocean for. A Holy Grail of a cock. She feels a twinge of sadness now, faced with these two human dicks. But it's time to move in, she reminds herself - to quest for Grails afresh - and she knows that, just as there's something of the giantess in her, there's something of the King of the Monsters in these men. Something of the lizard in them. She can see it in the way their eyes bore into her, an ancient hunger burning in them like cold fire. Their cocks throbbing with delirious blood. Watching a vein pulse on Tom's shaft, Debbie feels her stomach flutter with excitement. These cocks - these commonplace cocks - they're colossal in their souls.
after that fluid-heavy encounter with tom's dick and harry, debbie learns is that it is 1987 and she meets (and has sex with) the other members of the crew (you may have seen this coming but pretend to be surprised):
yaphet kotto
veronica cartwright
ian holm
john hurt
and sigourney weaver
it is a VERY sexxy ship, unencumbered by pesky sexual harassment lawsuits and full of mutual desire and easy-to-unzip coveralls. yaphet kotto and debbie are like butterflies performing a springtime mating dance:
Then, to dismiss Debbie, he slaps her on the ass, saying, "Welcome aboard, baby."
Debbie grabs the crotch of his coveralls, squeezes. "I already love it here."
but that's enough sex for five minutes - let's learn more about The Pastrami and its mission. by which i mean the ship. debbie is given a tour of the ship, including belowdecks. by which i mean the cargo hold. but also of john hurt's genitals.
first, he shows her the ship's many cages
"This is our cargo," John Hurt says. "We collect aliens - in particular, aliens from popular culture: film, television, comic books." these creatures are put into zoos and admired by all.
and just FYI, hurt goes on to assure any entertainment lawyers who may be in the house
"Most of these are copyright 20th Century Fox and/or Time Warner and/or Universal Studios, and are presented here for informational and/or entertainment purposes only.
later, we are reminded by our om. narr. that these aliens are:
All copyrighted, mind you, by their respective parties, and used here without permission for philosophical purposes only)
so don't even sweat the copyright violations as these iconic aliens get an eyeful of debbie fucking john hurt. and we learn that it's not just E.T.'s finger that glows, but also his member and also what comes out of his member. and it all just makes debbie very wistful, despite the pages and pages of human sex she has been getting.
Still on the floor, the stumpy alien jacks off as it watches Captain Hurt spray Debbie with semen. When the alien cums, what shoots out is glowing red. Like magma.
Feeling the lukewarm spittle of human semen ooze down her chest, Debbie imagines it's magma.
she's been on the ship for some time, enjoying the sex, but also frustrated - never as satisfied as she had been after godzilla, and with so many questions about her transition and what it all means. fortunately, there's a psychiatrist onboard. and she's really good at her job.
Sigourney Weaver starts the balls clacking in a Newton's cradle on her desk. "Debbie, you've still never told me how you became a giant in the first place. It could shed some light on your problem."
"It's - difficult - for me … to talk about."
"I could hypnotize you. Would you like me to hypnotize you?"
She thinks about it. "Sure."
Sigourney Weaver hypnotizes her.
"Okay, Debbie, you're hypnotized. Now tell me what the fuck happened."
Hypnotized, Debbie says, "What the fuck happened was this," and she proceeds to tell her entire life story - which was way more than Sigourney Weaver wanted, but she sits and listens to it anyway, nodding off only occasionally.
You have to be careful what you ask for, with hypnosis
and after that impressive display of doctoring, sigourney weaver drops some science-hypotheses about why debbie is only just regular-sized now, and it actually makes sense. inasmuch as science has ever made sense to anyone.
but
"I feel like we've been in this office an awful long time. None of this is really forwarding the story's action. Shouldn't we get out of here already? It's been too long since there's been a sex scene."
and debbie's right. so she has sex with veronica cartwright. and also sigourney weaver.
then circum(heh)stances … change for debbie. i'm done mapping out the storyline - you need to read this thing for yourselves and all, but i promised some pictures and i'm going to deliver on that promise. all you need to know is that debbie and her genitals make some allies in the cargo hold. and i wish to god i knew how to make those boxy things that the new adult kids do and that mark rants about in his review here because i would make the most epic one ever, kitties be damned! for now, i guess i'll just add photos in the only shitty way i know how. to that end - here are the nonhuman participants in debbie's adventures in lovemaking, whether one-on-one romance or straight-up gangbang:
E.T.
Debbie's abdomen glows a warm red, the luminous tips of cock and finger shining out through the flesh … like putting a flashlight in your mouth…
ALF
ALF, as you know, loves eating pussy. and "I wish you could fuck me, ALF" is a sentence i never thought i would ever read.
the predator
who is, apparently, "kind of an asshole."
jabba the hutt
debbie engages in anal sex with his three-inch cock. and it is pretty much as disgusting as you would think: Jabba the Hutt laughs as his stunted tool spurts a dribble of rotten semen into Debbie's large intestine
xenomorph
xenomorph has acidic semen and a trick dick
The glans of the penis resembles the alien's cranium - elongated and smooth. As it swells tighter and tighter, there emerges from within its urethral opening a second penis: a lesser shaft gliding out through the meatus, the nested cocks throbbing as bubbly pre-cum leaks from the tip of the inner dick.
like this, only lower:
the gorn
The Gorn ejaculates on Debbie's face, hissing murderously, just like it did in that episode of Star Trek where it was coming after Captain Kirk to kill him.
the following are creatures mentioned in passing as participating, but without alluring excerpts for me to share. but you can still enjoy the mental image of debbie intercoursing with these beloved characters:
marvin the martian
MAC from mac and me****
the great gazoo
mork
the monolith from 2001
i love this book. it's genuinely funny and violent and bloody and crazy and there's just wall-to-wall sex and some ingenious solutions to unusual problems. there is also philosophy, physics, and so much cheekiness:
"I thought The Pastrami's mission was to collect fictional characters in general, not just fictional aliens. What gives? Could I get some exposition on this?"
and true romance
She begs mentally for it to hurry up; she needs its terrifying penis now
and either your worst fucking nightmare or one bitchin' tattoo.
Then, at last, the Predator and the Xenomorph close on her. They mount her like two demonic stallions from some incomprehensible hell.
and it all ends on one helluva cliffhanger/promise. it is quite simply the most impressive and surprising book i have ever read in which a woman has sex with the entire cast of a movie from the eighties.
i need part three. and also part one. and probably some other parts.
*name chosen at random from mental list of "generally respected sci-fi novelists i have never read." so, if arthur c. clarke did, in fact, write monsterporn, swap his name out for a different generally respected sci-fi novelist who never did. OR, if arthur c. clarke was some kind of homophobe or he spree-killed a bunch of hobos or has some other sort of attendant negative connotations unknown to me, feel free to swap his name out for someone who writes good and doesn't spree-kill. basically, all you need to know is that this is some damn well-written and intentionally funny sci-fi monsterporn.
** dear lawsuit - emma steele is NOT a pseudonym for orson scott card
*** do not use this story to teach science to schoolkids.
**** which - i have never seen this movie, so i need someone to tell me if it is as fucking bonkers as it appears from these pictures. seriously - why why a thousand times why?
come to my blog!
August 28, 2015
Not even a nuclear blast can contain Debbie's insatiable lust! After the events of Debbie Does Monsterland, Debbie finds herself adrift in deep space until the crew of The Pastrami bring her aboard. Will Debbie finally find her release on the Pastrami?
When this came up for free, I decided I'd make it my yearly foray into Monsterotica. In this outing, Debbie is normal sized instead of 50 feet tall but still has a the libido of a giantess. Much like Debbie Does Monsterland, Alien vs. Debbie is a bunch of hilarious naughty fun. It is both a parody of Monsterotica and (probably) some of the best Monsterotica ever written.
Ever wonder about a gang bang featuring Alien, Predator, Jabba the Hutt, ET, and many others? Wonder no more! Debbie does the aforementioned foursome and several others.
Three Monsterotic stars. I'll keep my eyes open for the third volume, the Debbie Centipede.
When this came up for free, I decided I'd make it my yearly foray into Monsterotica. In this outing, Debbie is normal sized instead of 50 feet tall but still has a the libido of a giantess. Much like Debbie Does Monsterland, Alien vs. Debbie is a bunch of hilarious naughty fun. It is both a parody of Monsterotica and (probably) some of the best Monsterotica ever written.
Ever wonder about a gang bang featuring Alien, Predator, Jabba the Hutt, ET, and many others? Wonder no more! Debbie does the aforementioned foursome and several others.
Three Monsterotic stars. I'll keep my eyes open for the third volume, the Debbie Centipede.
April 28, 2016
Hmmmm....
I can't decide if this was the work of a genius or just a pile of steaming poo. There's no denying that this was a brilliant idea - you take all the aliens from popular movies and put them in a book with the worlds biggest slut. One thing is for sure after reading this - I will never be able to watch a sci-fi film without wondering what the aliens cock looks like
"Soon Debbie found herself the star of a hot monster gangbang, cocks the size of city buses driving relentlessly into her from every direction."
Godzilla was her favourite though
"She gasps, looks around, and sees that Godzilla has reached his tail behind her, it's thick, blunt end probing between mounds of her juicy ass, squirming in sweat that's dripping down her crack."
Anyway so it cotinues, she ends up on the ship from the film Alien, bangs all the crew
"Sigourney Weaver eats her pussy."
She does all the aliens
"The alien cums, Debbie cums, E.T. cums, ALF cums"
Debbie stops at nothing to get what she wants ...
"On instinct, she keeps humping the headless E.T."
I'm pretty sure this book would make hardcore sci-fi geeks jizz in their pants. It has a naked woman, aliens and lots and lots of cum. I'm surprised this isn't a best seller because of that alone.
And am I the only one thinking that Debbie must have the worlds baggiest vagina EVER. She put anything resembling a cock up in there, I'm surprised there was any friction at all.
I can't decide if this was the work of a genius or just a pile of steaming poo. There's no denying that this was a brilliant idea - you take all the aliens from popular movies and put them in a book with the worlds biggest slut. One thing is for sure after reading this - I will never be able to watch a sci-fi film without wondering what the aliens cock looks like
"Soon Debbie found herself the star of a hot monster gangbang, cocks the size of city buses driving relentlessly into her from every direction."
Godzilla was her favourite though
"She gasps, looks around, and sees that Godzilla has reached his tail behind her, it's thick, blunt end probing between mounds of her juicy ass, squirming in sweat that's dripping down her crack."
Anyway so it cotinues, she ends up on the ship from the film Alien, bangs all the crew
"Sigourney Weaver eats her pussy."
She does all the aliens
"The alien cums, Debbie cums, E.T. cums, ALF cums"
Debbie stops at nothing to get what she wants ...
"On instinct, she keeps humping the headless E.T."
I'm pretty sure this book would make hardcore sci-fi geeks jizz in their pants. It has a naked woman, aliens and lots and lots of cum. I'm surprised this isn't a best seller because of that alone.
And am I the only one thinking that Debbie must have the worlds baggiest vagina EVER. She put anything resembling a cock up in there, I'm surprised there was any friction at all.
May 21, 2015
Forget 50 Shades of Gray, this just may be the best erotic fan fiction ever.
Have you read the comic Alien vs. Predator or seen the movies? Well, this is the erotic version.
At least I assume it is. I haven’t actually read the comics or watched the movies, but I figure this novelette is pretty similar considering it concerns the Alien and Predator squaring off against each other inside the spaceship from the first alien movie with Nancy "Debbie" Archer and the ship’s crew stuck in the middle. How do they hope to survive? Well, this is erotica. Obviously Debbie plans to distract them with sex so she can throw them out the ship’s airhole and abandon them in space.
The books is VERY funny. For instance, all of the crew members are referred to by the names of the actors who portrayed them. Although I guess that’s not “that” funny. But it only gets better from there. And it’s a must read if you like metafiction. Like how the crew’s is to travel to various dimensions in order to capture fictional aliens from TV and movies like ALF.
This may be some of the most well-written erotica that you’ll ever read. Too often, authors seem to not really care about the quality and crank out a book a week, but it’s obvious how much time the author put into writing this. Emma Steele’s first book, I Slept With Slender Man, may be decent, but this one is infinitely better. It’s as if it were written by an entirely different author. And it’s also a major improvement compared to book 1 in the series (it’s also a lot longer). That one ended with Debbie about to get busy with Godzilla, but cut off before we got to the good parts. If you were disappointed by that, this book has what you’ve been craving: the 50 Foot Woman and the King of the Monsters finally getting it on.
Soon after, Nancy travels in time to the year 1987, where she returns to her original size, probably because the author didn’t want her to damage Sigourney Weaver’s spaceship, which is called The Pastrami in the story. Later, something happens that reminded me of that scene in the movie Cabin in the Woods. SPOILER ALERT! Skip the next paragraph if you haven’t seen the movie and intend to.
I’m talking about the scene near the end of the movie when all the monsters escape from their rooms in the Faculty and kill everyone. In this book, the fictional aliens sort of do the same thing. Except they have an orgy instead of going on a murder spree.
Did I mention this book has A LOT OF sex? Buy it!
Have you read the comic Alien vs. Predator or seen the movies? Well, this is the erotic version.
At least I assume it is. I haven’t actually read the comics or watched the movies, but I figure this novelette is pretty similar considering it concerns the Alien and Predator squaring off against each other inside the spaceship from the first alien movie with Nancy "Debbie" Archer and the ship’s crew stuck in the middle. How do they hope to survive? Well, this is erotica. Obviously Debbie plans to distract them with sex so she can throw them out the ship’s airhole and abandon them in space.
The books is VERY funny. For instance, all of the crew members are referred to by the names of the actors who portrayed them. Although I guess that’s not “that” funny. But it only gets better from there. And it’s a must read if you like metafiction. Like how the crew’s is to travel to various dimensions in order to capture fictional aliens from TV and movies like ALF.
This may be some of the most well-written erotica that you’ll ever read. Too often, authors seem to not really care about the quality and crank out a book a week, but it’s obvious how much time the author put into writing this. Emma Steele’s first book, I Slept With Slender Man, may be decent, but this one is infinitely better. It’s as if it were written by an entirely different author. And it’s also a major improvement compared to book 1 in the series (it’s also a lot longer). That one ended with Debbie about to get busy with Godzilla, but cut off before we got to the good parts. If you were disappointed by that, this book has what you’ve been craving: the 50 Foot Woman and the King of the Monsters finally getting it on.
Soon after, Nancy travels in time to the year 1987, where she returns to her original size, probably because the author didn’t want her to damage Sigourney Weaver’s spaceship, which is called The Pastrami in the story. Later, something happens that reminded me of that scene in the movie Cabin in the Woods. SPOILER ALERT! Skip the next paragraph if you haven’t seen the movie and intend to.
I’m talking about the scene near the end of the movie when all the monsters escape from their rooms in the Faculty and kill everyone. In this book, the fictional aliens sort of do the same thing. Except they have an orgy instead of going on a murder spree.
Did I mention this book has A LOT OF sex? Buy it!
September 1, 2015
Note: This is a dual review for Debbie Does Monsterland and Alien vs. Debbie. It appears on the Goodreads page for both books.
I met up with Godzilla shortly at his vacation villa near Fukushima after his surprise appearance in the monster erotica series, F*ck All Monsters. It has been rumored that the superstar has been exploring other avenues of creativity. This exploration resulted in two books with the mysterious writer Emma Steele. However most of his fans were shocked by his recent excursion into not just porn but monster erotica and the literary scene, Here is the interview.
I want to thank you for taking time out of you busy schedule for this interview.
No problem.
The first question is obvious. Why porn?
Well, I’ve been getting tired of the whole stomp and burn scene and there aren’t a lot of monsters that i haven't worked with. I did go into negotiations with Spielberg to appear in Jurassic World but the man has no vision. There was some talk about a Freddy Krueger vs Godzilla movie but it didn’t work out. I mean, what could be done? STOMP! End of movie. I have been looking for opportunities to broaden my fan base and stretch my talent, so to speak. So when Emma Steele called me…
Wait a minute. You actually met Emma Steele?
Not really. I talked to her on the phone. It’s weird though. Every time we talked her voice kept changing and at first it was pretty low for a woman. I just assumed she was hoarse, a result of in-field research for her book. Anyway, as I was saying. We talked about me appearing in a book and, being Japanese, I was familiar with manga tentacle sex comics. It’s a big thing in Japan. It has even been rumored that Hedorah appeared in a few under another name. When Emma suggested a non-Japanese excursion into monster porn I was intrigued. Plus I would be working with an actual human female that was 50 foot tall. How could I resist?
Godzilla, this might be a good time to explain the first book, Debbie Does Monsterland. Can you give us an idea what it is about.
OK. It’s about Nancy Archer aka Debbie who is 50 foot tall and has a libido the same size. In order to satisfy her sexual urges she escapes from HOME (Hollywood Organization for Medical Experimentation) to Monster Island where she means to take on yours truly. But as she arrives she is met by a horny welcoming party consisting of Minilla, Baragon, Gamera, Rodan, and Kumonga,. She dispatches each one with her skills. On the last page I show up.
And?
And? And nothing! The books ends! No one gets to see the parts of me they don’t see in the movies! I tell you, it was a big waste of time and money. But Emma told me she wanted to wait until the sequel.
In telling us about Debbie Does Monsterland, you know you pretty much gave away the entire plot.
So? It’s a porn book. Who cares about plot? But if you do care, then you are going to like the sequel.
So tell us about the second book, Alien vs. Debbie.
That one they got right. I show up at the beginning and what a scene! Debbie’s a real pro and has finesse. Mothra can keep The Twins. Debbie knows what she is dong.
So the book, despite its title, is about you and Debbie.
Well, no. That’s the thing. Debbie does me and bang! A bomb goes off sending Debbie out into space and leaving me forever out of the action. Now I know how Janet Leigh felt in Psycho. Debbie returns to normal size but still has the libido of a 50 foot woman. She ends up on a ship carrying a zoo of fictional alien characters. Predator, Alien, Jabba the Hut, ET, you name it they are there. I think you can figure out where this goes. Frankly I think it’s a big stretch except for ALF. As he says in the book, and it’s no secret in the trade, he loves to eat pussy.
So now that you conquered the porn market, what’s next?
I think I’m done with monster erotica. There is not much else I can do in it. But I have been touring in Summer Theater and expanding my horizons. One local critic said I was the best Willy Loman he’d ever seen.
No more appearances with Debbie?
No, there will be one more book but I won’t be in it. I hear they booked Cthulhu. Working with Cthulhu is crazy. If you aren’t insane before you will be afterwards. But I wish Debbie the best of luck.
Before we go, how do you rate the two F*ck All Monsters books.
Debbie Does Monsterland is three stars because it’s too short and I’m not really in it. Alien vs. Debbie gets four star because it has me and an actual plot.
Thank you for your time, Godzilla.
No problem. When you get back to California, tell Spielberg I said Jurassic World sucks the big one.
I met up with Godzilla shortly at his vacation villa near Fukushima after his surprise appearance in the monster erotica series, F*ck All Monsters. It has been rumored that the superstar has been exploring other avenues of creativity. This exploration resulted in two books with the mysterious writer Emma Steele. However most of his fans were shocked by his recent excursion into not just porn but monster erotica and the literary scene, Here is the interview.
I want to thank you for taking time out of you busy schedule for this interview.
No problem.
The first question is obvious. Why porn?
Well, I’ve been getting tired of the whole stomp and burn scene and there aren’t a lot of monsters that i haven't worked with. I did go into negotiations with Spielberg to appear in Jurassic World but the man has no vision. There was some talk about a Freddy Krueger vs Godzilla movie but it didn’t work out. I mean, what could be done? STOMP! End of movie. I have been looking for opportunities to broaden my fan base and stretch my talent, so to speak. So when Emma Steele called me…
Wait a minute. You actually met Emma Steele?
Not really. I talked to her on the phone. It’s weird though. Every time we talked her voice kept changing and at first it was pretty low for a woman. I just assumed she was hoarse, a result of in-field research for her book. Anyway, as I was saying. We talked about me appearing in a book and, being Japanese, I was familiar with manga tentacle sex comics. It’s a big thing in Japan. It has even been rumored that Hedorah appeared in a few under another name. When Emma suggested a non-Japanese excursion into monster porn I was intrigued. Plus I would be working with an actual human female that was 50 foot tall. How could I resist?
Godzilla, this might be a good time to explain the first book, Debbie Does Monsterland. Can you give us an idea what it is about.
OK. It’s about Nancy Archer aka Debbie who is 50 foot tall and has a libido the same size. In order to satisfy her sexual urges she escapes from HOME (Hollywood Organization for Medical Experimentation) to Monster Island where she means to take on yours truly. But as she arrives she is met by a horny welcoming party consisting of Minilla, Baragon, Gamera, Rodan, and Kumonga,. She dispatches each one with her skills. On the last page I show up.
And?
And? And nothing! The books ends! No one gets to see the parts of me they don’t see in the movies! I tell you, it was a big waste of time and money. But Emma told me she wanted to wait until the sequel.
In telling us about Debbie Does Monsterland, you know you pretty much gave away the entire plot.
So? It’s a porn book. Who cares about plot? But if you do care, then you are going to like the sequel.
So tell us about the second book, Alien vs. Debbie.
That one they got right. I show up at the beginning and what a scene! Debbie’s a real pro and has finesse. Mothra can keep The Twins. Debbie knows what she is dong.
So the book, despite its title, is about you and Debbie.
Well, no. That’s the thing. Debbie does me and bang! A bomb goes off sending Debbie out into space and leaving me forever out of the action. Now I know how Janet Leigh felt in Psycho. Debbie returns to normal size but still has the libido of a 50 foot woman. She ends up on a ship carrying a zoo of fictional alien characters. Predator, Alien, Jabba the Hut, ET, you name it they are there. I think you can figure out where this goes. Frankly I think it’s a big stretch except for ALF. As he says in the book, and it’s no secret in the trade, he loves to eat pussy.
So now that you conquered the porn market, what’s next?
I think I’m done with monster erotica. There is not much else I can do in it. But I have been touring in Summer Theater and expanding my horizons. One local critic said I was the best Willy Loman he’d ever seen.
No more appearances with Debbie?
No, there will be one more book but I won’t be in it. I hear they booked Cthulhu. Working with Cthulhu is crazy. If you aren’t insane before you will be afterwards. But I wish Debbie the best of luck.
Before we go, how do you rate the two F*ck All Monsters books.
Debbie Does Monsterland is three stars because it’s too short and I’m not really in it. Alien vs. Debbie gets four star because it has me and an actual plot.
Thank you for your time, Godzilla.
No problem. When you get back to California, tell Spielberg I said Jurassic World sucks the big one.
May 26, 2015
Well this installment totally eclipsed the other two Emma Steele books, and probably upped the ante' for those readers and writers into weird, erotic fiction. Don't get me wrong, Debbie Does Monsterland and I Slept with Slenderman are a lot of fun, but Alien vs. Debbie is weird erotica refined.
Imagine a porno with a plot you didn't just fast forward through for the good parts. Imagine a porno with ET, Alf, Predator, and a Xenomorph each with a backstory and their own amorous agendas! Imagine an existential porno with your favorite lead becoming the universe and performing coitus on a wormhole of existence to re-emerge and resurrect her Self (with a capital S) after her death in the first couple chapters--a post coitual cigarette after a rendezvous with Godzilla! It gets better...
And as a fan of Lovecraft, Cthulhuroctica, Chuck Tingle, Tom Sixx and Jean Paul Sarte I have a major book boner for the next Emma Steele installment.
This high class Weird Hawt Action!
Imagine a porno with a plot you didn't just fast forward through for the good parts. Imagine a porno with ET, Alf, Predator, and a Xenomorph each with a backstory and their own amorous agendas! Imagine an existential porno with your favorite lead becoming the universe and performing coitus on a wormhole of existence to re-emerge and resurrect her Self (with a capital S) after her death in the first couple chapters--a post coitual cigarette after a rendezvous with Godzilla! It gets better...
And as a fan of Lovecraft, Cthulhuroctica, Chuck Tingle, Tom Sixx and Jean Paul Sarte I have a major book boner for the next Emma Steele installment.
This high class Weird Hawt Action!
October 18, 2015
Listen to the full review episode: http://www.bookedpodcast.com/274-erot...
October 6, 2017
Wow. I think I swallowed my tongue, I don't know what to say about this book. I was both repulsed and amused by this book, a volume of what is known as 'monsterotica', a genre that is very new and very strange to me. I'm not sure if people get off on this, or find it amusing. Here, Debbie is a 50-feet giantess with an insatiable appetite for monster penis. Godzilla's and Mothra's are not enough for her. After she is nuked into outer space, she finds herself captured on board the spaceship Pastrami with none other than the crew from the original Alien movie. Orgies ensue, with both humans and aliens. The Pastrami crew, apparently, have been collecting fictional aliens in the cargo hold. Alf, ET, the Predator, the xenomorph, some alien from Star Trek, even Sigourney Weaver and Yaphet Kotto, all have a taste of voracious Debbie. I'm not sure I can watch 80's movie with aliens and not think of their johnson.
What a book. Thanks hIpnoticraQs.
What a book. Thanks hIpnoticraQs.
April 14, 2016
Go Debbie!!
July 31, 2024
It's giving Kurt Vonnegut but if he wrote porn
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