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The Devil: Diary of an Addict - Part Two
#1 International Bestselling Addiction Memoir
The Diary of an Addict Part Two is the follow-up to the international #1 bestselling memoir, The Diary of an Addict, a book that has resonated with readers across the world and has been described by many as life-changing for addicts, parents, partners, and families affected by addiction.
My name is Gavin Dixon and I am an addict.
This is not a celebrity memoir, it is not ghostwritten, and it is not written by somebody observing addiction from the outside looking in. I wrote this while I was living through one of the most severe spirals of addiction, trauma, and self-destruction imaginable. This is not a story reconstructed years later from memory. It is the reality of what I was living through at the time.
What started with cocaine spiralled into crack cocaine, injecting pure cocaine, psychosis, overdoses, hallucinations, paranoia, violence, suicide attempts, emotional collapse, and complete destruction from the inside out. The drugs stopped being about pleasure a long time ago. They became survival. I became addicted to the edge itself, the chaos, the psychosis, the self-destruction, and the fine line between living and dying.
Nothing worked, not rehabs, not meetings alone, not changing locations, and not pretending I was okay. After years of failed attempts, I was repeatedly told I was beyond help, too damaged, too traumatised, too far gone. Eventually, I came to be viewed by many as unfixable.
The truth was that addiction was never the full problem. Beneath it was severe unresolved trauma that I had spent my entire life trying to escape.
For the first time, this memoir is told through three the addict, the mother, and the woman who chose to live through that hell with me.
You will read my story as I live through addiction and trauma. You will read my mam’s reflections as she watches her son slowly disappear through fear, guilt, heartbreak, and exhaustion, reaching her own rock bottom and learning that boundaries are not punishment, they are survival. You will also hear from my fiancée Amy, who chose to stand beside me through overdoses, psychosis, paranoia, suicide attempts, and emotional collapse, only to be left carrying trauma of her own and needing therapy to begin healing from the damage addiction caused.
There is no fake inspiration and no attempt to make addiction look poetic. Nothing has been exaggerated. Nothing has been softened.
Eventually, I realised that addiction alone was never the full problem. Trauma was. This book explores how trauma, addiction, and mental health became fused together inside my survival system, and how understanding the neuroscience behind addiction changed the way I approached recovery.
Working alongside a leading psychiatrist, I underwent intensive trauma-focused treatment designed to address the underlying causes of my addiction rather than simply the symptoms. Through that process, and drawing on my own lived experience, I developed a modernised 13-step recovery framework built around accountability, connection, purpose, trauma recovery, and long-term change, because no two addictions and no two recoveries are ever the same.
This is not only the story of my recovery. It is also the story of the people who survived addiction with me. My mam was forced to confront her own rock bottom. Amy was forced to heal from the trauma addiction left behind. What emerges is not one recovery story, but three, three people damaged by addiction in different ways, three people forced to confront their own pain, and three people finding their own path towards healing before finally finding a way to rebuild a life together.
I am not writing about addiction as a researcher, a professional, or an observer. I am writing about it as somebody who lived through one of the most horrific traumas and severe cases of addiction you will ever read about and survived it.
The Diary of an Addict Part Two is the follow-up to the international #1 bestselling memoir, The Diary of an Addict, a book that has resonated with readers across the world and has been described by many as life-changing for addicts, parents, partners, and families affected by addiction.
My name is Gavin Dixon and I am an addict.
This is not a celebrity memoir, it is not ghostwritten, and it is not written by somebody observing addiction from the outside looking in. I wrote this while I was living through one of the most severe spirals of addiction, trauma, and self-destruction imaginable. This is not a story reconstructed years later from memory. It is the reality of what I was living through at the time.
What started with cocaine spiralled into crack cocaine, injecting pure cocaine, psychosis, overdoses, hallucinations, paranoia, violence, suicide attempts, emotional collapse, and complete destruction from the inside out. The drugs stopped being about pleasure a long time ago. They became survival. I became addicted to the edge itself, the chaos, the psychosis, the self-destruction, and the fine line between living and dying.
Nothing worked, not rehabs, not meetings alone, not changing locations, and not pretending I was okay. After years of failed attempts, I was repeatedly told I was beyond help, too damaged, too traumatised, too far gone. Eventually, I came to be viewed by many as unfixable.
The truth was that addiction was never the full problem. Beneath it was severe unresolved trauma that I had spent my entire life trying to escape.
For the first time, this memoir is told through three the addict, the mother, and the woman who chose to live through that hell with me.
You will read my story as I live through addiction and trauma. You will read my mam’s reflections as she watches her son slowly disappear through fear, guilt, heartbreak, and exhaustion, reaching her own rock bottom and learning that boundaries are not punishment, they are survival. You will also hear from my fiancée Amy, who chose to stand beside me through overdoses, psychosis, paranoia, suicide attempts, and emotional collapse, only to be left carrying trauma of her own and needing therapy to begin healing from the damage addiction caused.
There is no fake inspiration and no attempt to make addiction look poetic. Nothing has been exaggerated. Nothing has been softened.
Eventually, I realised that addiction alone was never the full problem. Trauma was. This book explores how trauma, addiction, and mental health became fused together inside my survival system, and how understanding the neuroscience behind addiction changed the way I approached recovery.
Working alongside a leading psychiatrist, I underwent intensive trauma-focused treatment designed to address the underlying causes of my addiction rather than simply the symptoms. Through that process, and drawing on my own lived experience, I developed a modernised 13-step recovery framework built around accountability, connection, purpose, trauma recovery, and long-term change, because no two addictions and no two recoveries are ever the same.
This is not only the story of my recovery. It is also the story of the people who survived addiction with me. My mam was forced to confront her own rock bottom. Amy was forced to heal from the trauma addiction left behind. What emerges is not one recovery story, but three, three people damaged by addiction in different ways, three people forced to confront their own pain, and three people finding their own path towards healing before finally finding a way to rebuild a life together.
I am not writing about addiction as a researcher, a professional, or an observer. I am writing about it as somebody who lived through one of the most horrific traumas and severe cases of addiction you will ever read about and survived it.
289 pages, Kindle Edition
Published June 12, 2026
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