I Suck at Relationships So You Don't Have To: 10 Rules for Not Screwing Up Your Happily Ever After

by Bethenny Frankel

Bethenny Frankel, five-time New York Times bestselling author, self-made businesswoman, and media maven, shares her ten rules for relationship success and takes us on an empowering journey to learn how to say yes to love.From running her Skinnygirl business to being a mom and a TV star, Bethenny Frankel appears to have it all. But when it comes to relationships, she is the first to admit that she has failed—a lot. In fact, Bethenny has made every mistake, from calling when she shouldn’t have to misreading signals to staying with a guy for all the wrong reasons. In working through the mistakes, she has gained insight and wisdom about what matters most. Filled with personal stories and the no-nonsense advice she’s known for, New York Times bestseller I Suck at Relationships So You Don’t Have To is the next step on Bethenny’s A Place of Yes journey. She offers an unflinching but ultimately hopeful look at what it takes to find real love including tips on dating, how to trust your gut, avoiding self-sabotage, and much more. It’s easy to give up on romance, to expect the worst, and to doubt yourself, but you shouldn’t be satisfied with a relationship that is mediocre—your relationship can and should be incredible. Using Bethenny’s “A Place of Yes” attitude, you too can find love and a relationship that is more successful, fulfilling, and happier than ever before.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Relationships, Audiobook, Celebrity, Autobiography, Memoir

337 pages, Kindle Edition

First published April 7, 2015

About the author

Bethenny Frankel has a knack for making healthy food taste delicious. That knack, which started out as a hobby and was enhanced with formal training, has elevated her to national prominence as a celebrated natural food chef, the creator of the phenomenal new Skinnygirl Margarita, and The New York Times best selling author of Naturally Thin.

Frankel, who calls herself a "health foodie” and attended the National Gourmet Institute for Health and Culinary Arts, focuses on sharing with others her knowledge and passion for healthy living. In addition to her monthly column in Health Magazine, she is regularly featured in national publications from The New York Times to the weekly entertainment magazines. She’s also a sought-after guest on national news and entertainment television, where she brings her expertise and irresistibly candid and funny take not only to food segments but to any conversation about living healthy and living well.

Frankel’s wit, wisdom and humor came to national attention when she was named first runner-up on NBC’s “The Apprentice: Martha Stewart.” Network executives saw a personality they couldn’t ignore and put her center stage weekly on Bravo’s hit series “The Real Housewives of New York,” now in its third season. Though technically not a “wife,” she has emerged as the star of the series, with a huge network of fans, a job as national spokesperson for Pepperidge Farm's Baked Naturals® and Deli Flats(trademark), and her own spin-off series now in production.

Naturally Thin: Unleash Your Skinnygirl and Free Yourself from a Lifetime of Dieting debuted this year on The New York Times Best Sellers list and stayed for an astonishing for 18 consecutive weeks. Frankel’s second book, The Skinnygirl Dish: Easy Recipes for Your Naturally Thin Life will be released January 5, 2010, just in time to support “new year, new me” resolutions with delicious, practical, effective recipes and lifestyle tweaks. Skinnygirl Dish showcases Frankel’s renowned “fix-ology” . . . her ability to take calorie-rich foods and revamp them to create healthier versions without compromising flavor.

Her skill as a fixologist applies to cocktails too . . . she has just this fall launched The Skinnygirl Margarita, a bottled, pre-mixed beverage made with clear tequila, lime juice and only a splash of citrus liqueur, which drastically reduces the calories of the traditional cocktail. All natural and lightly sweetened with agave nectar, it has only 100 calories in a full 4 oz. serving.

As the go-to blogger for all things reality and lifestyle, Frankel wields her pen like a sword, ensuring that readers will get the unvarnished truth along with common sense, expertise and a healthy – always healthy – dose of humor. She is on a mission to democratize healthy living, making information available to everyone she can reach through her appearances, books, columns and blogs.

Frankel lives in Manhattan with her dog Cookie. She will be marrying her other love, Jason Hoppy, this spring and they will welcome their first child in early summer.

From her website

Reviews

[Alex · Rating 1 out of 5]

Well, this was pretty terrible. Bethenny makes a lot of general assumptions about men that I completely disagree with, and her therapist constantly chimes in on every chapter to completely dispute everything she just said, which is pretty good proof that she doesn't know what she is talking about.

I went into this book expecting entertaining stories about her "sucking at relationships", but instead I got a supposed self-help book that proved to do more harm than good.

Her other books are mindless fun, but this was both boring and awful. I'm not sure what she was thinking with this one.

[Dirty Dayna · Rating 2 out of 5]

2 we all suck at relationships stars

Loved the title loved it was a little self-help written by someone we could all relate to but the book read uncomfortable with all the therapist notes and quotes that didn't always flow

This is another case of the title didn’t live up to the book. It had the potential but really it just didn’t flow and many parts were uncomfortable. She bared her vulnerabilities to the world in this book and all I can think of is wow you and your therapist included in this book need to take on some serious sessions. She makes a lot of small mistakes and escalates them while putting herself down.

This reads kind of boring but if you are just sitting around the house needing something to read pick this up and find somewhere comfy to sit it’s a bit of a dry read

[Blagica · Rating 4 out of 5]

So, it’s 1:05am on 1/2/19 and I can not seem to want to put this down until I finished it. Fast forward to 12:08am on the third and this book is done. I do not normally read books by celebrities so early in the year but I really did enjoy this one. One of my closest friends is in a really unhealthy relationship and honestly when I picked this up, I wanted some prospective from someone else about what unhealthy is or if I was just over reacting. Let’s be honest the title of this book makes you want to read it as well just for pure curiosity. I find Bethenny to be a no holds bar kind of personality and I love that about this book and her writing style. To people who are the same personality type as Bethanny: you will love this book!! It was like reading a book of letters and suggestions I would write to myself as I get older. She struggles with so many of the same things as many women and it makes this relatable for anyone who has tried to love and failed and thought they were at fault. I don't think that all girls can relate to this book, it just depends on your personality. You have to have an open mind and open heart to be able to take something from the pages of this book. I think if I learned anything it showed me that love in any form has to start with loving yourself and that is an important lesson to learn early on. I also learned something new about myself, I have to let my friend make her own mistake find her own path and be there even if it is from a distance. I give this a four feel good stars and can see myself picking up another book by Bethenny when I need an emotional pick me up.

[Taralynn · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was highly informative and insightful. It's brought me to the realization that I should have expectations and not something ridiculous either but reasonable expectations. I also realized there are a lot of positive and negative things I was doing or have done and am currently doing, in my relationships. I really enjoyed this book. I will keep it handy so I can go back to it as needed. Thank you, Bethenny.

[Susie · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book was a big disappointment. Forcing myself to finish this book was like having a fat trainer; wondering why I was listening to someone who can't follow through herself.

[Natalie Jade · Rating 1 out of 5]

I picked this book up at the library with the only context being the title and the short paragraph on the back.

At first I was interested, Bethenny presented ideas about dating and relationships that were different from my own. As I listened further, I realized that she plays a toxic game with relationships, love, and communication. She perpetuates incredibly bad behavior that is instilled as desirable behavior within magazines and flashy attention grabbing media outlets.

I didn't finish eading this book because I found myself wanting to write a counter response book telling her what she actually needs to do to stop screwing up her relationships.

Don't read this book, there are better things to do with your time.

[Umi Arenas · Rating 2 out of 5]

I’m a big Bethenny fan, and I was seriously excited about this book (not only was I interested in the topic, but the name was just hilarious to me). There’s good advice in the book, but it’s hidden under mountains and mountains of generalizations about men and women, that make it sound more like an opinion than a serious and researched book. It was disappointing.

[Nina · Rating 2 out of 5]

I anticipate spending a lot of this year reading self help and self improvement books and have felt ashamed of putting them up on goodreads. But guess what? I read these books and I have an opinion so here we are.

I consumed this book via audio book and that made it a way better experience for me. I like Bethenny's tone and style so it was good to have her reading the book out loud.

There isn't anything particularly new here but the noteworthy parts were:

> The Burner Method - seriously, how did I not know about this? It was the perfect analogy for getting me to think about relationships and how various burners can hold various types of relationships, so that we can give our brains and hearts a chance to think about what we want, instead of putting all our eggs into one basket. Lots of mixed metaphors there, but hopefully that made sense.

> There was none of this - wait three days bullshit. I think she genuinely was asking women to recognize where they were at and who they are as women and to find relationships that truly meet their needs. Given how many books are written by authors trying to tell women how to snag men, I think Bethenny tried to do something different. It wasn't the best writing in the world but it got the point across and was a nice listen.

[Maria · Rating 1 out of 5]

Unless this book got substantially better in the last few chapters, I honestly couldnt stomach finishing it. I guess she is the exception of a modern successful woman If all that is out there are neanderthal men...I may chose to live alone. Her advice about lightening up and not obsessing is sound, but the mind games are ridiculous. If a long term relationship is based on the games we play, what happens when you let your guard down and be yourself?

As for writing - can you fit so many cliche expressions in one book - honestly!

[Leah · Rating 2 out of 5]

I usually love Bethenney's books but this one is a bummer. She makes a lot of sweeping generalizations about men and women that the therapist who inserts his comments in the book has to correct. It's exhausting.

Sorry B...I prefer your recipe books and Place of Yes. :)

[Hilary · Rating 1 out of 5]

I couldn't even get into this book, let alone finish it.

[Manar · Rating 2 out of 5]

Since ive been listening to a lot of books lately, i thought why not! Somewhat relatable but did not like her reading the therapist's notes. Also, waaaaay too many generalizations.

[Cristine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good advice- practical advice on how to calm down and ease into a healthy relationship.

[Georgia · Rating 1 out of 5]

I've always been curious about the Real Housewives' writing chops, so I decided to give a few of them a go.

This was... not a good start.

2/10

[Leah · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’ve jumped back into the Real Housewives pool after some time away and I thought it would be fun and funny to read/listen to as many of their books as I can find through the library. First up: Bethenny’s relationship book, because she’s my fave on RHONY and because it was available first. Her therapist, Dr. Xavier Amador (remember him from Bethenny Getting Married?), weighs in from time to time with actual psychological advice, which lends this some credibility. And a lot of her advice is legit good, and she uses herself and her friends for the many examples she provides (seriously, I think the book is half examples and hypothetical situations). But there’s a lot of annoying old ways of thinking here that I find harmful for relationships: Women are crazy bitches who cannot be held responsible for their actions during PMS! Women are clingy and always more emotional! Women always want a financial provider! Men are bumbling simpletons who have no emotions! Men can be manipulated into doing whatever you want if you have sex with them! Don’t tell anyone if your man cries because he’ll be emasculated! Etc. It’s reductive, dangerous, and just not true. Overall, it was fun to spend time with her voice again. And she wrote this a while ago, so I hope she’s continued to evolve and find love. I’m several seasons behind on RHONY and now she’s not even on it, so I have some social media stalking to do.

[Diana Vasquez · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have mixed feelings about the book.
I like her a lot and i have seen her growth, also she has helped so many people during natural disasters. However, some parts of the books are a bit repetitive. Quoting celebrities like Jlo who has jumped from one “D” to another was a huge low for me. Also, I appreciate she indicating she was going thru a divorce during this type which was messy and honestly seem like her ex. Husband was a horrible man but this also influenced her views on relationships. Although, she was non-stop dating during this time. Lastly, during this time she was going out on a on and off relationship with a man who was an addict who die of an overdose later on. Given all of that, it sounds a bit like a therapeutic diary than a good and researched book. Even with all the therapists “Just a tip” notes from her own therapist.
I do appreciate her saying that women should not disappear when in a relationship but to continue to date and continue to have a life. This was a huge take away for me because I been that woman and when shit hits the fan your life falls apart because you made it all about him. So keep this in mind ladies. This is a absolutely true statement.
Ps. I’m happy she is with a much nicer man now. Finally divorced from her ex and more rich than ever.
Thank you, B for being you as much as you can and for helping so many people. No small accomplishment there.

[Jennifer · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 stars.

I LOVE Bethenny Frankel. I didn’t love this book. I hate the generalizations about gender, the weird quotes from her therapist, and the fact that she didn’t share very many of her personal stories.

But. But. There is a enough good advice inside to merit at least skimming. I really appreciated that she emphasized knowing one’s worth and making sure others don’t use you as a metaphorical punching bag. At many points, she advises women to advocate for themselves, for boundaries, and for better behavior from their partner. And I liked her reading of the audiobook.

Conclusion? Flawed self-help book, but if you still want to know about relationships, read an Esther Perel book.

[Lauren Grauel · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF.

This book is great if you enjoy archaic stereotypes about the sexes. I was looking forward to this book- because who doesn't want to find a way to make their relationships better!?- but I couldn't finish it after reading the section where Frankel advises women to "just shut the hell up," in order to make their partner happy and preserve their relationship.
Overall, my takeaway is simple- you might be able to have a relationship using her tips, but probably not one that will make you feel happy or fulfilled. There have to be better relationship books out there (I've read better advice on reddit, for god's sake), so I advise you don't waste your time on this one.

[Lauren · Rating 1 out of 5]

To say this book is a hard pass is an understatement. I made it 10% in before coming to the major conclusion Bethenny Frankel is single because she hates men and wants to blame them for everything. Men suck because they don't always want to talk men suck because they're men men suck because of anything you can think of. I understand that relationships can be tricky but it makes it really hard when you go in thinking they suck from the very beginning. Relationships are two way streets in real life but in Bethany's mind it's always going to be the man's fault.

[Vicki · Rating 2 out of 5]

I think that Frankel has some decent ideas and gives the reader some food for thought, but for me I thought this book came across as what I'd call sexist. I can see where one might glean some good ideas on what to/not to do but she had nothing new to offer. But I am not a spring chick so I've probably heard just about everything. This book might have things to offer to a younger person, but I don't think that it would interest young people.

I don't really recommend it.

[Maria · Rating 3 out of 5]

The generalizations of this book can and have turned people off to the book(especially the first two chapters), but there is a certain level of truth throughout the book. The advice in the book is solid, but nothing ground-breaking. I think this book would have better reviews if she included some more humorous stories even if they weren't hers. However, I think you read this knowing to expect a how to book, then it won't majorly disappoint you.

[Julie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Timing is everything? In the case of "I Suck at Relationships So You Don't Have To".. timing is everything. Thanks Bethenny for sharing your thoughts about all of it. I gleaned some insight and mostly, feel a little more understood, called out and hopeful than I did before I listened to this audiobook. I'm in a long transition phase now. I heard the messages and enjoyed the non judgemental yet Bethenny Frankel straight delivery. Bethenny cuts through the crap. 4 stars

[Helene Barmen · Rating 2 out of 5]

Bethenny Frankel is one of my guilty pleasures and I love her in TV. As a self-help guru she comes up short. As she has been through divorce I thought this book would focus on having a good marriage/long-term relationship but a lot of the book is about how to get into one in the first place.
I find the book a bit boring and not that helpful for someone in a good marriage.

[Nataša · Rating 5 out of 5]

I find most self-help book horrible. I avoid them like the plague. I had no idea who Betheny is and I never have seen her on TV, but her advice is spot on and I would recommend this to anyone on the dating market, especially if female and straight.

[Siomara M. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Great book for someone who has issues with controlling things and has a hard time of letting go. With that being said, I did not identify with this book and as a result it was hard to get through. I read it halfway through and realized it wasn't a book for me.

[Tara Nichol · Rating 4 out of 5]

Despite the other reviews, I really liked the book. To be frank, she talks like a New Yorker and is blunt and honest. If you can't handle that then don't read the book. I love this attitude so it played well.

[Stephanie Stratton · Rating 5 out of 5]

I see many bad reviews yet I totally related to this book finished in 5 days and changed my outlook on my relationship! I took control of my life and relationship!!!! Things are now wonderful!!

[Hazel · Rating 3 out of 5]

truly embarrassed to have read this book to be honest. However it was somewhat useful :P

[Mandyalam0de · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was a cute read, I love me some Bethenny and her narrating the book was the cherry on top.

[Alexis Cooper · Rating 4 out of 5]

First of all, this is a LONG book. Second of all, it called me out on some of my own BS which is why we all love Bethenny in the first place.