Dial M For Monster: A Collection Of Cal McDonald Mystery Stories

Cal McDonald Mystery #3

by Steve Niles

A collection of Cal McDonald short stories, written by Cal's creator, Steve Niles. When monsters, freaks and ghouls stalk L.A., it's up to hard-boiled private eye Cal McDonald to send them back where they belong.Featuring illustrations by a variety of comics luminaries.

Genres: Horror, Comics, Graphic Novels, Noir, Humor, Fiction, Crime

200 pages, Paperback

First published September 24, 2003

About the author

STEVE NILES is one of the writers responsible for bringing horror comics back to prominence, and was recently named by Fangoria magazine as one of it's "13 rising talents who promise to keep us terrified for the next 25 years."

Niles is currently working for the four top American comic publishers - Marvel, DC, Image and Dark Horse. He got his start in the industry when he formed his own publishing company called Arcane Comix, where he published, edited and adapted several comics and anthologies for Eclipse Comics. His adaptations include works by Clive Barker, Richard Matheson and Harlan Ellison.

Steve resides in Los Angeles in his bachelor pad with one cat. While there's no crawlspace, there is a questionable closet in one corner and no one is quite sure what is hidden in there...but we have an idea.

--from the author's website

Reviews

[Andrew Hale · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed these quick episodes of macabre humor, though there are unfortunate and sad losses at any given time. Cal is consistent with his drunken fighting partnered with any number of narcotic free-for-alls, and while I don't find these to be endearing qualities to glorify, Cal is the one guy who uses it to his advantage to handle the morbid sights and the deadly attempts at his life. Each episode is its own horror and almost make for a good week-to-week Supernatural-like series but I doubt the overabundance of different writers would allow Steve Niles to keep the same consistent macabre noir story I've come to like. In this set, Cal faces zombies, not-so-advanced aliens, a Cal-wanna-be serial killer, the question of his soul, distraught fathers, advanced aliens, Sasquatch-ishes, werewolves, cannibalism and the scariest thing known to many men ... Love.

The Dead Don't Die
What happens when Stephen King's Creepshow tale 'The Lonesome Death of Jordy Vertill' crosses path with William Bebb's Valley of Death, Zombie Trailer Park? You get a zombie outbreak in Mendez, California. Vampires don't even wanna mess with zombies so it's a good thing that Cal McDonald is still in Los Angeles smarting off to his ghoulfriends. Interplanetary forces come crashing down causing quite the chaos.

Doll Face
Cal wakes up from a drunken blackout to pound the face in of a would-be robber/rapist inside a jail cell only to immediately face a jailed black magic serial killer ... who needs a good WeedWacker taken to his face. After so many bail outs and drunken fights, Cal would probably rather face a satanic wanna-be than to face Sabrina's ire.

Soul Sucker
Cal is struggling for cases, is a functioning alcoholic, and is broke. When a couple of geeky scientists want to capture souls as an experiment, Cal is all too giddy to earn some quick change for advising the situation. Mo'Lock on the other hand, who lost his soul a long time ago, sees danger ahead and it sucks. Literally.

Stitch
Cal is popping speed to figure out who is Frankensteining bodies (with similar builds) and also to beat the Feds to solve the case. Being rich and knowledgeable in the sciences only makes a lot of people lose their heads when great losses bring grief.

Eater
Cal is doing what he does best: waking up with a savage hangover and barely any memory of the night before. Mo'Lock on the other hand is bringing home a stray which leads to alien mayhem. At least Cal can use his brain to combat the mess ... or another one.

Big Fat Hairy Deal
Sabrina wants to have a sobering weekend with Cal and maybe make their relationship more serious, if he'll commit to cleaning up. Fortunately for him, multiple Sasquatch-like creatures decide to make dinner out of the couple. What's more scary for a man like Cal: possible lab-created predators or realizing you may be in love?

A Proper Monster
Paul Grimshaw is a gentleman if L.A. ever saw one. He's also a werewolf created by Nazis with full control of his transformation. Well, he was. And he's not the only one. He's the caretaker of hundreds of sleeping Nazi-created werewolves, meant to overtake America with the help of Hollywood traitors. Whatever the outcome, Criminal Macabre may have a pretty cool new regular on the scene. And a catacomb full of barrel-aged skeletons is morbidly fascinating too.

All My Bloody Things
Steve Niles ends this set with his often quoted "some of the worst monsters are humans" saying. I would argue they are the only monsters in reality and only humans can be good guys/heroes. A recently saved client gets Cal to check out a missing family off the main highway. In Texas Chainsaw fashion, Junior owns a roadside shop that specializes in pulled meat, but only his family gets the special soulful kind of meat. Though flesh is a dish best served never, vengeance is a dish best served cold by the ire of maddened son.

[Marsha · Rating 3 out of 5]

This anthology is an irreverent mashup of noir, mystery, humor and horror genres. The funny flies as fast as fists as the hard-drinking, tough-talking, pill-popping, vomit-spewing gumshoe Cal McDonald takes on monsters, the Feds and any punk who so much as looks at him sideways.

The book is a riotous blend of satire and grit and the monster tales original enough even for the most jaded horror aficionado.

While I wearied of murder mysteries a long time ago, this collection is almost enough to rekindle my interest.

[Skuli Saeland · Rating 3 out of 5]

Steve Niles hefur getið sér gott orð fyrir myndasöguskrif sín. Dial M for Monster er hins vegar smásagnasafn um einkaspæjarann Cal McDonald. Sá er ekki beint traustvekjandi. Hatar bókstaflega hvern þann klukkutíma sem hann er ekki í vímu af völdum áfengis eða og lyfja. Hann herjar hins vegar á yfirnáttúrulegar verur auk þess sem hann er studdur eindregið af hópi náæta. Það var að minnsta kosti nafnið sem ég vandi mig á að nota yfir ghouls. Þessar verur eru þó töluvert öðruvísi hjá Niles og reyndar uppbygging hins yfirnáttúrulega í heildina séð.
Helsti kostur bókarinnar er hröð atburðarrás, húmor og bara hrein og klár skemmtun. Sem sagt fín afþreying.

[Kyle Cheuvront · Rating 5 out of 5]

I feel like Steve Niles can do no wrong when it comes to Cal McDonald stories. Dial M for Monster is a collection of short stories involving Cal McDonald, a detective of "weird shit" as he would say. Almost constantly wasted on pain killers, alcohol, and whatever else, Cal takes on anything from werewolves to aliens. However, this isn't your typical sci-fi or fantasy writing. Niles somehow makes the world McDonald lives in feel real, and there is a very strong sense of humor that made me laugh out loud plenty of times.

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

These short stories were funny. Cal MacDonald is so awesome. Unfortunately I gave my copy to a friend, and now have to get a new one for me again.