Four Waifs on our Doorstep

by Trisha Merry

When no one cares, who will pick up the pieces of abused children’s lives? At eleven o' clock one night in 1997, four hungry, damaged young children arrive on foster carers Trisha and Mike Merry's doorstep. Two social workers dropped them off with nothing but the ragged clothes they were wearing and no information. The children were covered in bruises, two had black eyes, one had a broken arm and they were all scratching themselves. Starved, seriously neglected and abused in every way, four young siblings have been repeatedly overlooked by everyone who should have cared. The eldest scavenges for food by night and is exhausted from trying to protect his sisters, his baby brother and himself from serious parental neglect and the perilous attentions of frequent paedophile visitors. From the start, these four children challenge Trisha and Mike to extremes. Despite all their experience over many years, they wonder if they have met their match. Yet, from that very first night, this couple's unbounded love and care and their unbelievable determination surmount all the obstacles that follow. The shocking truth about the children's home lives is beyond anything Trish and Mike have experienced, yet through their formidable efforts, their unshakeable belief in the children, and their (almost) unfailing sense of humour, they are able to turn around four young lives from tragedy to hope.

Genres: Nonfiction, Biography, Fostering, Memoir, Autobiography

399 pages, Kindle Edition

First published April 9, 2015

Reviews

[K · Rating 4 out of 5]

I grew up in a home with a mother similar to the one in the book and there were so many signs for the other adults in my life that you would think something would have been done... But it wasn't until I turned 14 and found my voice that I was able to get out of there.
However even then, the road was bumpy. Social services made mistakes that forced me to continue feeling threatened and unsafe. The main one being I had to go into a room with my abuser to visit my mother, week after week, until I put my foot down and refused. Things like what is written in the novel really do happen. It is not exaggerated or made up. I truly appreciate people like Trisha and her husband for taking in children that are lost and broken and helping them to heal and overcome.
This book really resonated with me and it will be in my thoughts for years to come.
Please, if you are reading this, remember that a kind word goes a long way. You never know what someone is experiencing in their home life. You could be the saving grace that gives them the strength to seek help.

[Ruby Tuesday · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm a fan of books written by British Foster carers Cathy Glass, Casey Watson and Rosie Lewis so I was delighted to stumble across this first book by Trisha Merry who has fostered over 700 children.

The book begins when four children are removed from their mother due to neglect and are placed with Trisha and Mike at short notice. Trisha and Mike were due to retire from fostering but were persuaded to carry on doing what they were doing. The children were filthy, in rags, had body and hair lice and were literally starving. The eldest had not even been toilet trained and didn't know how to use toilet paper so would wipe it on the walls. It soon becomes apparent that the children have suffered greatly and have many dark secrets.

This book was so sad and a real emotional roller coaster. I'm looking forward to reading more from Trisha Merry as I suspect she has some very interesting tales to tell.

[Jeanine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Heartbreaking story but yet a happy ending. Sad to think children are so mistreated and people turn a blind eye. I'm so happy the Merry's were able to step up.

[Karen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I got this book on sale for my Kindle (Cyber Monday sale). I started it this morning, and I couldn't put it down until I finished it.
What an amazing couple to take in 4 siblings in an emergency situation, when they had decided to retire from fostering children. It's a tale that needed to be told, and Trisha Merry does a wonderful job telling it.

[Anthony D. Calarco · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow

What an inspirational and awe striking story. I worked as a foster family social worker and currently work for CPS. The atrocities children go through are brought to life in this book and do happen. The strength and courage of these parents and children are compelling and the reality of life.

[Kelly · Rating 4 out of 5]

Heartbreaking story that shows the very best and very worst of humans

[Brown Catherine · Rating 4 out of 5]

Horrifying story, unfortunately I didn't know it was a true story until I'd got into it. Then I had to read it to the end to tell myself they would be all right. No one can ever be all right with that sort of start in life. Would never had started it if I'd known what it was. That should teach me to read the back of a book before I start it, but will I ever learn!

[Ralph Jones · Rating 5 out of 5]

A book that deserves to be read. No one could make this stuff up. Incredibly sad and I have so much respect for the carers. Incredible, terrible story of bravery and total selflessness. It's these types of people who deserve to be on the honors list, not footballers and musicians.

[Joan · Rating 4 out of 5]

An inspiring book detailing the trials and tribulations of foster parents taking on 4 siblings who were taken into care as a result of child protection ruling.

[Marilyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow what a roller coaster. Once started hard to put down. I take my hate off to this family.

[vicki Lissamore · Rating 2 out of 5]

Resembles a copy of women's own!

A tragic story very simply written. The author talks about herself far too much and in a very simple text.

[Eirlys · Rating 5 out of 5]

Big Hearts

This book is an emotional rollercoaster, with highs and lows , tugging at the heartstrings. Tricia and Mike took four abused children into their home and their hearts. Tricia paints a vivid picture of the people with whom she interacted, during her mission to help the four siblings in their fight to get justice .

[Georgia Solly · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book really plays on the emotions of the reader, takes you through their story in a way where you feel like you’re going through it with them. Highly recommend reading this

[Mae · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have not read anything detailing the challenges of being a foster parent. This book really took one into the extreme of that situation - four children, all dreadfully abused and a system that certainly does not appear to be focused on the best outcome for the child but rather on "protecting" the workers who deal with those children. The author Trisha Merry is nearing retirement - she and her husband have fostered more than 700 children when they are asked to intervene in the lives of four siblings who have experienced unspeakable abuse. That journey and all its challenges are frustrating and almost unbelievable to the extreme. The policy of the agency not to share any information whatsoever about the children's past with these foster parents seems idiotic to me - the lack of concern and unwillingness to make practical decisions to aid in their recovery is an egregious neglect as well in my opinion. The author is resilient, patient and forgiving to an almost extreme and I wondered if her own struggles with dyslexia gave her empathy and patience I could only marvel at. I can only hope the system has improved since these children were placed in 1997.

[Wanda Calvert · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a former foster parent , I was interested in this book . I never found our social service agency this neglectful in giving us info but , this was a very bad situation that never should have gone this far . I think my husband and I are very patient and tolerant with problem kids , which they all were since we took special needs children . It was terrible these kids did not receive intense therapy . Trish and Mike loved children and a sense of humor went a long way even though their situations were not funny business , problem children most often are problem adults without proper intervention .

[Janet Lynch · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book, about social services and foster care in Great Britain, dealt with horrific things happening to young children and a system that refused to care. Four children arrive on Trisha and Mike Merry’s door in brutal condition. They are so damaged that caring for them is a 24-7 job. Personally I don’t think I would have lasted a week. Yet as horrible as it was, both what the children had suffered and how difficult it was to care for them, the book felt emotionally flat. It was all told in a flat tone and did not have the emotional punch it should have.

[Dora · Rating 4 out of 5]

Experienced foster carers Trisha and Mike planned to retire when four very disturbed and abused children arrive at their home. They eventually adopt them all but the journey was long and full of big problems.

So massive were the kids problems that most schools gave up on them, as did social services but Trisha and Mike carried on loving and caring for the kids.

I suspect these kids who are all now adults will have serious hang ups for the rest of their lives but it was good to be updated as to how they are all getting on now.

[Kivalina Mauck · Rating 5 out of 5]

Recommended read

Thrish I want to thank you for being a wonderful Mom to these babies. I am so glad you saved them. I am sure they see that now and are glad as well. You and Mike are awesome. Give all those kids hugs for me and I am glad you wrote this. I do want to know how these kids are doing now. Sam is one my favorites.

[Graeme · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not glad I read this.
Interesting story but so so strung out and not well written. Don’t know which of my friends recommended this, but we don’t have have the same taste.
I should have known from the cover, sentimental.
I am not a better person or more knowledgeable for reading this.

[Jane · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very powerful book.

[Suze Bellis · Rating 2 out of 5]

This could have been an interesting read but it is so badly written that I found it irritating.

[Dave · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed the book. People who take in foster children, especially those from a troubled backgrounds, are truly amazing. The well-written book describes the myriad challenges a foster family faces. That said, after reading the book I was left with this thought: kids who face cruelty, abuse, or deprivation are often scarred for life. This is a terrible fact. In the end the book shows that, though some people are capable of indescribable cruelty, others are capable of unending compassion and caring.

[Cheri Smallwood-ellerker · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a heartbreaking memoir, Trisha and her husband have just settled down to the quiet life after years of fostering and adopting. When suddenly they are asked to take on 4 siblings who are covered in sores, lice and nits, They are really feral and have no real understanding of right or wrong, Trisha works with the children on very little understanding of what has happened to them, This tells how they were so let down by social services and many other agencies and How Trisha and her husband fought everyway possible to give the children a safe and stable life.

[Linda Sorden · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a story!

This a heart wrenching story of neglect and abuse ! But, it is also a story of rebuilding lives with love
, infinite patience , and courageous rebellion against a broken system!. It doesn't sugarcoat the outrageous bumbling of the social welfare system or the shattering damage done . This is a story that had to be told and it is my hope it rattles the system enough to evoke badly needed change!

[Liz Destefano · Rating 4 out of 5]

Trisha and Mike Merry were foster parents received for hungry children they had so many bruises were so starved and we’re abused that they had a lot to handle
These two took on these children and knew that these kids were going to push their limits
I don’t know how parents can handle with these two handled these neglected children that’s a wonderful story how they handle these kids how they hurt them as well but they for gave them and carried on and continued loving them as they grew up

[Linda · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was an eye opener! We had a similar problem. Agency do not share the knowledge they have of these special children! THAT HURTS ADOPTED PARENTS AND THE CHILDREN WHO ARE AT RISK!!!
That is not fair to either! I hope this book sells well and the family brings in money for them selves and others that will benefit for their sake!
Heart wrenching to read and some will not believe it but it is TRUE WHAT SOME CHILDREN GO THROUGH AND THEIR FOSTER AND ADOPTED ALSO!!!!!! SAD SAD SAD

[Lynn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Heartbreaking and Inspiring

If you pick up this book make sure there is absolutely nothing going on that day. You will not be able to put it down once you begin. You will feel sadness and intense anger. You will feel happiness and love. Trisha and Mike are amazing people and there are very few who could have dealt with what these 4 badly neglected and abused children went through. Just read the book. My only regret is that it wasn’t longer!

[Shirley Henderson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Harrowing

This book of a retired couple taking on four horrifically neglected and abused young siblings stretches one’s ability to comprehend the hurdles, the challenges and the shocking neglect by Social Services that they faced. Hats off to Trisha and Mike Merry for not only taking it on but for enduring and giving everything they had to ensure that those four children will be able to live their lives to the fullest! An amazing story of triumph over adversity.

[Stacy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Heinous foster system

Great story that needed to be told. I'd like to believe that this is England's problem or that this was many years ago. According to the dates it is not I'm a psychotherapist & work mostly with kids in care Some workers are fantastic. Most are overwhelmed & some of the same things occur here in the US in Texas

[Catherine Grant · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well written book.

This heartbreaking story tells it as it is. A,story that never should have to be told. The horrors the children went through and what it took to save them . It also told the story of a social system that failed these children so many times . Thank God for people like the author and her husband who helped so many children when they so desperately needed it.