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Alice in Monologue Land
A fun, light, adventure-filled novel full of real women with curves and stage fright. A balance of humor, mystery, and romance.
When adjunct English instructor Alice Chalmers gets roped into reading a part in an upcoming campus production of The Venus Monologues, her life spirals out of control. The teaching job of her dreams is open, but the staid hiring committee won't appreciate seeing her on stage discussing the “V-word.” Pressured by her dean to perform, Alice is in monologue hell. When she calls the production "The Venomous Mambas" or "The Viral Meningitis," her children howl. But Alice has more pressing problems: some of her female students are disappearing.
At monologue practices, Alice meets the Venus Warriors, a fearless group of college women who cheerfully dish on men, menstruation, and menopause while bonding through skydiving and workshops where ALL things feminine are explored. Add an odd trio of men who long to explore all things feminine with Alice, starting with her lips and moving toward her monologue zone. But seriously: A snake-loving professor in Birkenstocks? A chain-smoking student with a chin mole? Or a too-young Colombian coffee god? The choice makes her head hurt.
Things get rough when someone sabotages the monologues with loose stage wires and poisoned brownies. But when one female student is found dead and another is in peril, the Venus Warriors fly to the rescue, and Alice skydives smack into an alligator's nest of answers.
When adjunct English instructor Alice Chalmers gets roped into reading a part in an upcoming campus production of The Venus Monologues, her life spirals out of control. The teaching job of her dreams is open, but the staid hiring committee won't appreciate seeing her on stage discussing the “V-word.” Pressured by her dean to perform, Alice is in monologue hell. When she calls the production "The Venomous Mambas" or "The Viral Meningitis," her children howl. But Alice has more pressing problems: some of her female students are disappearing.
At monologue practices, Alice meets the Venus Warriors, a fearless group of college women who cheerfully dish on men, menstruation, and menopause while bonding through skydiving and workshops where ALL things feminine are explored. Add an odd trio of men who long to explore all things feminine with Alice, starting with her lips and moving toward her monologue zone. But seriously: A snake-loving professor in Birkenstocks? A chain-smoking student with a chin mole? Or a too-young Colombian coffee god? The choice makes her head hurt.
Things get rough when someone sabotages the monologues with loose stage wires and poisoned brownies. But when one female student is found dead and another is in peril, the Venus Warriors fly to the rescue, and Alice skydives smack into an alligator's nest of answers.
463 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 9, 2015
25 people are currently reading
132 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews
May 19, 2015
Discover Chick-lit as written by Amy Gettinger!
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Practice your snort laugh, you are going to need it and its okay if someone hears you, it means another author has done their job! Amy Gettinger has a story to tell and it’s one for regular women, and about regular women, because seriously, sometimes guys just don’t get many of a female’s issues or stumbling blocks in life. Meet Alice, single mom, struggling to make ends meet, be in three places at one time and now, a speaker for a unique women’s literary event. And she is trying to find a way out of it, desperately, because, really who wants to read a poem or anything about female body parts. Alice isn’t a groundbreaker, she’s good with not being up close and personal with her, um, you know…and the oppression women have felt over being comfortable with their bodies? Can’t call her a groundbreaker there, either.
Pretty sure you have figured out this is not drama, although Amy Gettinger does make some dramatic scenes come to life with a bit of mystery and edgy darkness. Ms. Gettinger is here to entertain and she succeeds admirably, from page one as she takes us through the chaotic life that belongs to her main character, Alice. From dark parking lots to students who are more than they seem, to pythons giving “hugs,” one must admire the character Alice or pray for her survival.
A fun-loving read, perfect to bring sunshine to even the cloudiest day, Ms. Gettinger lets us know it is okay to laugh at ourselves, just in case we can identify with Alice and that reading less than lofty tomes brings a certain sparkle and shine to the literary world. I might suggest you hang on tight, this tale has more spins than a tilt-a-whirl.
I received this copy from Amy Gettinger in exchange for my honest review.
Publication Date: April 8, 2015
Publisher: Raucous Eucalyptus Press
Genre: Women's Fiction | Humor
Print Length: 375 pages
Available from: Amazon
Reviewed for: http://tometender.blogspot.com
July 17, 2016
This book was my book club choice and only because I wanted to be able to discuss it did I finish it. I also paid for the honor as my local library didn't offer it - should have taken that as a sign. It is a trite book full of predictable stereotypes. Most of the jokes are old and groan-worthy. I just cannot recommend this book at all because you won't ever get those hours of your life back.
December 16, 2018
Fun romantic mystery
Alice works three part-time jobs as an ESL instructor at three different community colleges. Female students have been going missing. Alice is determined to get at the bottom of it. Meanwhile she is dragged into a monologue play and is being pursued by three men. Fun and adventure!
Alice works three part-time jobs as an ESL instructor at three different community colleges. Female students have been going missing. Alice is determined to get at the bottom of it. Meanwhile she is dragged into a monologue play and is being pursued by three men. Fun and adventure!
November 19, 2017
Fun adventure filled read!
Kept me guessing to the very end
You might want to practice your snort and giggles before reading this though
Fully recommended!
Kept me guessing to the very end
You might want to practice your snort and giggles before reading this though
Fully recommended!
July 23, 2015
Quirky mystery
I enjoyed the multinational views in a rollicking book about a single mother forced to read in a group while also wanting a full time position coming up. She loves her ESL adult students and her family and friends are wacky! Almost figured out the mystery before her though!
I enjoyed the multinational views in a rollicking book about a single mother forced to read in a group while also wanting a full time position coming up. She loves her ESL adult students and her family and friends are wacky! Almost figured out the mystery before her though!
August 26, 2015
A Fun Story
As a writer I noticed things I would have done differently, but I would never have been able to make the whole thing work the way it does. It kept me guessing and held my interest.
As a writer I noticed things I would have done differently, but I would never have been able to make the whole thing work the way it does. It kept me guessing and held my interest.
March 1, 2016
I loved this book. I received this book for review and was a little timid reading it at first but I grew as Alice grew in the story. Her story is entertaining and eye-opening and there is always unexpected and new twists and turns to the end. I highly recommend this.
September 10, 2016
3.5/5.0
Wittily entertaining, “Alice in Monologue Land” is for the not-so-perfect, second-chance woman in waiting.
Read full review in the 2016 September issue of InD'tale Magazine.
Wittily entertaining, “Alice in Monologue Land” is for the not-so-perfect, second-chance woman in waiting.
Read full review in the 2016 September issue of InD'tale Magazine.
Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews