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Smoke: A Short Story
Looking to get in out of a brutally cold night Daniel enters the club "Smoke." What he discovers within will force him to make his greatest decision.
9 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 11, 2015
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Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews
April 16, 2015
Smoke is a very short story and there is no doubt about that. But just because it lacks length doesn't mean it lacks an amazing and original idea.
With so much detail and such interesting characters, you will be feeling the smoke once you are finished.
This is the second short story that I have read by this author, the other being 'The Descent' which is an Apocalypse Weird short. Williams definitely has a ton of potential and I can't wait to see what he has next!
With so much detail and such interesting characters, you will be feeling the smoke once you are finished.
This is the second short story that I have read by this author, the other being 'The Descent' which is an Apocalypse Weird short. Williams definitely has a ton of potential and I can't wait to see what he has next!
April 17, 2015
More please
Well written. I was left wanting more ... felt like the "sample" Amazon prime cells that lures you into buying the whole book.
Well written. I was left wanting more ... felt like the "sample" Amazon prime cells that lures you into buying the whole book.
May 17, 2015
Awesome short story! This was very well done.
January 19, 2016
Hmmmm
Good ideas in story. Logical progression to story . It ended before I was ready . Would really like to see it developed more.
Good ideas in story. Logical progression to story . It ended before I was ready . Would really like to see it developed more.
October 8, 2017
Walk down the streets of some of our large cities and you will find night spots, sometimes in basements or down dark alleyways, with colorfully dressed, flashy pitch men (it's almost always a man) outside, enticing people to come in to experience whatever is inside. I personally never succumbed to the pitch and parted with my cover charge, but I've often wondered just what lay inside the doors of such an establishment. Bob Williams plays upon that curiosity in his intriguing flash fiction story, “Smoke,” one of the best examples of the genre I’ve read in a long time.
The plot of “Smoke” is deceptively simple, and a synopsis must of necessity be rather short in order to avoid giving away any plot points. A man named Daniel finds himself on a Seattle street one night when he sees what appears to be a nightclub of some sort with a marquee proclaiming its name to be Smoke. Daniel is about ready to walk away when a man emerges from the club and invites Daniel to enter. There’s jazz music and people having a good time inside, as Daniel contemplates his decision.
You can probably guess from that brief description that there’s more to Smoke, and to the loquacious pitchman who tries to entice Daniel into the bar, than meets the eye, as Daniel finds out. There’s also more to “Smoke,” the story, than first meets the eye as well. Flash fiction usually consists of two elements, the setup and the punch line, and the ending of this story is delightfully ambiguous. Both Daniel and most readers think they know what Smoke is, but Williams maintains just the right air of mystery so that we are never quite certain.
Indeed, the entire story is quite artfully written, even before the ending. While many stories of this nature feature fairly routine language, since they tend to be plot driven rather than atmosphere driven, Williams takes the time to toss in a number of evocative phrasings such as “Self-doubt had followed Daniel through life like a couple of old one-dollar bills that can live in your wallet forever.” Without slowing down the narrative or making it feel padded, Williams deftly creates the right mood that makes the ending even more effective.
“Smoke” represents both the art and the craft of flash fiction. In under ten pages, the author creates the right mood surrounding Daniel, his host, and Smoke itself and then finishes the story with an ending that’s as intentionally unclear as smoke itself. I’ve read full length novels that don’t have as much good description as Williams provides in this story’s ten pages, and I’ve come across few stories whose ending has worked as well as this one. All in all, “Smoke” definitely indicates the fire of a first rate story.
The plot of “Smoke” is deceptively simple, and a synopsis must of necessity be rather short in order to avoid giving away any plot points. A man named Daniel finds himself on a Seattle street one night when he sees what appears to be a nightclub of some sort with a marquee proclaiming its name to be Smoke. Daniel is about ready to walk away when a man emerges from the club and invites Daniel to enter. There’s jazz music and people having a good time inside, as Daniel contemplates his decision.
You can probably guess from that brief description that there’s more to Smoke, and to the loquacious pitchman who tries to entice Daniel into the bar, than meets the eye, as Daniel finds out. There’s also more to “Smoke,” the story, than first meets the eye as well. Flash fiction usually consists of two elements, the setup and the punch line, and the ending of this story is delightfully ambiguous. Both Daniel and most readers think they know what Smoke is, but Williams maintains just the right air of mystery so that we are never quite certain.
Indeed, the entire story is quite artfully written, even before the ending. While many stories of this nature feature fairly routine language, since they tend to be plot driven rather than atmosphere driven, Williams takes the time to toss in a number of evocative phrasings such as “Self-doubt had followed Daniel through life like a couple of old one-dollar bills that can live in your wallet forever.” Without slowing down the narrative or making it feel padded, Williams deftly creates the right mood that makes the ending even more effective.
“Smoke” represents both the art and the craft of flash fiction. In under ten pages, the author creates the right mood surrounding Daniel, his host, and Smoke itself and then finishes the story with an ending that’s as intentionally unclear as smoke itself. I’ve read full length novels that don’t have as much good description as Williams provides in this story’s ten pages, and I’ve come across few stories whose ending has worked as well as this one. All in all, “Smoke” definitely indicates the fire of a first rate story.
April 2, 2016
Wonderful short story.
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews