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Every Father's Daughter: Twenty-four Women Writers Remember Their Fathers

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“What is it about the relationship between fathers and daughters that provokes so much exquisite tenderness, satisfying communion, longing for more, idealization from both ends, followed often if not inevitably by disappointment, hurt, and the need to understand and forgive, or to finger the guilt of not understanding and loving enough?” writes Phillip Lopate, in his introduction to Every Father's Daughter, a collection of 25 personal essays by women writers writing about their fathers. The editor, Margaret McMullan, is a novelist and distinguished educator. About half of these essays were written by invitation for this anthology; others were selected by Ms. McMullan and her associate, Philip Lopate, who provides an introduction. The contributors include many well-known writers—Alice Munro, Jayne Anne Phillips, Alexandra Styron, Ann Hood, Bobbie Ann Mason, Maxine Hong Kingston, to name a few—as well as other writers perhaps less well-known but no less cogent, inventive, perceptive, lacerating, questioning, or loving of their fathers.

From the Foreword by Margaret McMullan:
“After my father died, I couldn’t read or write, perhaps because, in the end, my father was unable to read or write. I didn’t know it then, but I was looking for a collection of intensely personal essays, written by great women writers telling me about their fathers and how they came to know their fathers, a collection which might help me make some kind of sense of my own very close relationship with my father. I wanted to know from women, replacement sisters, if they had similar relationships with their fathers as I had with mine. Or, if their relationships were altogether different, I wanted to know how exactly these relationships were different. I wanted to know if the fact that my father was southern had anything to do with anything. I suppose, more than anything, I just wanted to know that I wasn’t alone in my love, my loss, my loneliness. I wanted to read this anthology, but it did not exist. Writers write the book they want to read. Editors do the same. This book came out of a need, my own, personal, selfish need.
“Eventually, I contacted the authors I loved and admired—some of them friends, some of them friends of my father’s. I never wanted this to feel like an assignment, but I suppose it was. I simply asked these women to tell me about their fathers. They took it from there. For some authors, the idea of writing about a father just clicked, and they wrote their essays, often within days of the request. We all have stories about our fathers, even if it’s a bad story or a non-story, it’s a story. If you write, you will read these essays and feel the need to write your own.
“I kept my father’s tastes very much in mind during the difficult but joyful process of selecting essays for this book. This collection reflects my father, and, of course, other fathers as well. These essays are a sort of collage or mosaic of fatherhood and all the ways daughters communicate or don’t with their fathers. Of course, there’s a long list of wonderful women writers not included here—this anthology really should extend itself into another volume.”

302 pages, Hardcover

First published April 9, 2015

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About the author

Margaret McMullan

16 books29 followers
Margaret McMullan was born in 1960 in Newton County, Mississippi. At the age of ten, her family moved to Chicago, Illinois.

McMullan earned a Bachelor’s degree in Religious Studies from Grinnell College and an M.F.A. in Fiction from the University of Arkansas, Fayetteville.

For twenty-five years, she lived in Evansville, Indiana, where she taught and served as the Chair of the English Department at the University of Evansville. She was also the Melvin Peterson Endowed Chair in Literature and Creative Writing at the University of Evansville.

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5 stars
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Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews
Profile Image for Cassandra Hawkins.
Author 5 books23 followers
June 18, 2015
I just finished reading Every Father’s Daughter, and this book is like none other that I have read. A collection of twenty-four essays compiled by Margaret McMullan, Every Father's Daughter discusses authors’ relationship or the lack there of with their fathers. McMullan has Mississippi roots, so I was excited to join this blog tour. The methodological choice of essays and the organization of them make the book hard to put down. I was expecting a book to paint a pretty picture of an iconic relationship with the father. However, I was surprised to read genuine stories that painted a real picture about who each author’s father really was. The essays invite you into each of the writer's personal relationship with their father. The writer exposes the pain, the joy, and sometimes even regret that occurred in that relationship. Ironically, this book makes you analyze your relationship with your father, and it forces you to think about if you really know, whom your father is. This book is a great read, especially since it is close to Father’s Day. I highly recommend Every Father's Daughter.
Profile Image for Brandee Shafer.
340 reviews22 followers
January 14, 2016
I did not find my father (or myself) in these pages but so value these women's efforts to write their fathers down. Already I have a sense of how difficult the task: to trap in words a person you saw early, with wide-eyed innocence, and may have lost by the time you grew up and saw clearly or, at least, with maturity. Some of these essays made me cry; I can't wait to read more Bliss Broyard. Jill McCorkle. Ann Hood! Some essays (Alice Munro's, for example) blew me away with careful descriptions. I'm glad for the care with which Margaret McMullan gathered these words. I do think this is a book that matters and that McMullan pulled together the book she couldn't find when she went looking. My thanks to her.
Profile Image for Lyri Ahnam.
197 reviews2 followers
September 18, 2022
I got Every Father’s Daughter from the library to read the essay by Jane Friedman, whose blog and online classes have been invaluable to me.

In the foreword, Margaret McMullan tells the story of her own father and her quest for “a collection of intensely personal essays, written by great women writers telling me about their fathers and how they came to know their fathers” after her father’s death.

Some of the essays fulfill that mandate, but others were pulled from longer memoirs or novels. I got the impression those were included because the editor had a personal relationship with these writers or because they were “names” in the literary world. Two of the writers included wrote about their famous author fathers, which gave the collection a cliquish feel.

In one essay, Bliss Broyard quoted her father as saying “Most good stories are mysteries…The author is like a detective trying to get to the bottom of some truth…”

Barbara Shoup noted: “Life, like a good story, sets its own course. In time the ‘what ifs’ of your childhood fall away, the bits and pieces that brought you to the beginning of your adult life, combust, and begin moving you toward an ending you can’t imagine, but becomes clearer, inevitable, the farther you go.”

Johanna Gohmann, whose father developed Alzheimer’s said: “Losing someone this way--this subtle losing, piece by piece--is its own unique kind of sadness.” And: “His life stretches behind him full of heartbreaks and triumphs and mysteries that I will never really grasp. And through him I learn that understanding people and loving them sometimes have very little to do with one another.”

Lily Lopate attributed this to her writer father: “If you’re willing to roll up your sleeves and put in the time you can make words do anything you want them to.” He urged her to “write honestly, lean towards discomfort, attempt to delve into unresolved tangled territory and engage with humor.”

Jane Friedman’s father, “taught me to be true to myself, and to live life on my own terms . . .”

This book was personally valuable to me (for a poem I wrote about my own father born of reading it, currently out on submission), but isn’t the book it could have been, due to the uneven tone and insular quality of the selections. Many of the personal essays were poignant, the other selections were less resonant for me.
Profile Image for Lynn  Davidson.
8,493 reviews38 followers
July 12, 2025
Twenty-four women writers - some well-known and others lesser known - share essays they wrote about their fathers. Some were close relationships, some were strained and difficult, some were hardly relationships at all. These personal stories were collected and compiled for this anthology and each includes a photo of the writer and her father.
Essays included and listed under one of three headings:

ABSENCES:
- No Regrets - Jane Smiley
- Christmas From Now On - Patricia Henley
- My Father’s Daughter -Bliss Broyard
- Secrets of the Sun - Mako Yoshikawa
- Sol’s Exodus - Nancy Jainchill

LOST & FOUND:
- My Dad - Jill McCorkle
- My Father’s Bible - Joyce Maynard
- Masters in This Hall - Melora Wolff
- Crossing State Lines - Jessica Woodruff
- The Memory I Chose - Jane Friedman
- Waiting for My Father - Barbara Shoup
- The American Father- Maxine Hong Kingston

PRESENCES:
- Life Saver - Ann Hood
- Reading My Father - Alexandra Styron
- Gifts - Nancy McCabe
- Oxygen - Susan Neville
- What He Worked For - Susan Perabo
- Do You See What I See? - Antonya Nelson
- Daddy’s Dime Store - Lee Smith
- Balloons - Johanna Gohmann
- A Relationship of Words - Lily Lopate
- Burning the Trees - Jayne Anne Phillips
- My Fathers - Bobbie Ann Mason
- Working for a Living - Alice Munro



1,397 reviews14 followers
June 24, 2020
I’ve had this book for a while and thought that June was the perfect month to finally get around to reading it. I’ve just been reading a few essays here and there. This is a good book to read slowly and let the essays sit with you rather than pushing through and reading all of them in a short time. Many are bittersweet, nostalgic, and very moving. Lovely collection. And I am fortunate to have a copy signed by Margaret McMullen. She’s a former faculty member at the University where I work and an awesome lady.
Profile Image for Jalynn Patterson.
2,223 reviews42 followers
June 17, 2015
About the Book:

“What is it about the relationship between fathers and daughters that provokes so much exquisite tenderness, satisfying communion, longing for more, idealization from both ends, followed often if not inevitably by disappointment, hurt, and the need to understand and forgive, or to finger the guilt of not understanding and loving enough?” writes Phillip Lopate, in his introduction to Every Father's Daughter, a collection of 25 personal essays by women writers writing about their fathers.



The editor, Margaret McMullan, is a novelist and distinguished educator. About half of these essays were written by invitation for this anthology; others were selected by Ms. McMullan and her associate, Philip Lopate, who provides an introduction. The contributors include many well-known writers—Alice Munro, Jayne Anne Phillips, Alexandra Styron, Ann Hood, Bobbie Ann Mason, Maxine Hong Kingston, to name a few—as well as other writers perhaps less well-known but no less cogent, inventive, perceptive, lacerating, questioning, or loving of their fathers.



My Review:

As Father's Day approaches, I am reminded that I have an earthly father that has long since reached his destination and lately I have been thinking about him and his silliness. My husband reminds me of him a lot. When I see him interacting with our children specifically I see my Dad. He was strong in his beliefs. He had unfailing courage. He never met a stranger and he loved his daughter with every breathe of his being. Growing up I had a pretty normal especially when compared to others, childhood. The only thing that was hard to manage sometimes was that we were very poor, especially when compared to today's standards. But my parents did their best to be content with our circumstances and were real good examples for me to be content, as well.


Dads and daughters have a special connection. The first love a girl will ever have will be that of her father or a father figure in her life. Daddy's are the ones we run to when afraid and we feel that they can protect us from anything. In Every Father's Daughter, there is a collection of 25 different essays that a few profound authors have written about the memory or memories of their fathers. Many of the memories are good solid ones, but I found a few somewhat sad. My heart ached for these fellow daughters as I read their penned words.


This book will cause you to become nostalgic as well. I'm not sure if that's a good thing for most, but I liked looking back at my Dad and remembering. Thank you ladies for sharing your memories. This book spans generations and is a great book to read in reference to Father's Day.


**Disclosure** This book was sent to me free of charge for my honest review from the author.
Profile Image for Leslie Lindsay.
Author 1 book86 followers
June 11, 2015
I'm in awe with the beautiful collection of vivid imagery, deep story-telling in this collection of short-shorties/essays written by well-known female writers of their fathers.

EVERY FATHER'S DAUGHTER was born of the close relationship of the editor with her ailing father. She sat at his bedside wiping his brow, tending to his needs, all while reading stories and essays of their favorite authors aloud. To say this is a beautiful moment of caregiving, a tenuous bond of humanity it putting it mildly. When in fact, what the daughter really wanted at this time was a collection of short stories about the father-daughter relationship...and when that book just doesn't exist, why, it's time to write your own.

Compiled from esteemed writers such as Jane Smiley, Alice Munro, Joyce Maynard, this anthology is equally heart-warming and heart-wrenching. In all 24 stories, fathers from all walks of life are represented: from abusive to companionable, to distant and indifferent, to perhaps even slightly enmeshed. We walk along with these women in their coming-of-age, their young families, and even into their foster homes.

And the writing is pretty darn top-notch. But then again, what would you expect from this group of women?

I loved how the editor (Margaret McMullan) shared a brief introduction of each writer/essay, including how she knew the writer, or how the essay landed on her desk.

My only complaint is that, it is not exactly a read-to-the-end kind of book, but instead one in which the reader may pick and choose stories here and there, depending on mood, time, and her overall relationship with her father.

I'm going for 4.5 stars here: "Really, really liked it."

See all my reviews, as well as author interviews at www.leslielindsay.com
Profile Image for Laurie Gray.
Author 10 books50 followers
May 31, 2015
Every Father’s Daughter portrays 24 fathers through the carefully crafted prose of their daughters. Compiled and edited by Margaret McMullan as a tribute to her own father, these essays evoke the love, disappointment, pride and shame enmeshed in every father-daughter relationship. As a daughter, I purchased the book for myself in anticipation of Father’s Day as this June marks the one-year anniversary of my own father’s passing. I could not wait until Father’s Day to read it. From Jane Smiley to Alice Munro, Barbara Shoup to Margaret McMullan, these are some of the women writers I admire most, the ones I trust to carry me beyond my own experience into a higher, deeper, wider understanding that exceeds their own experiences as well. Through their stories, I came to know and appreciate different aspects of my own father and our relationship. Their emotions laid bare on the page triggered my own memories, encouraging me to examine them in a new light from a broader perspective. The book reminds me that all fathers and daughters are human and gives me a safe place to love and grieve for my dad this Father’s Day.

As I finished the book, I recalled this quote from Rumi: “The truth was a mirror in the hands of God. It fell, and broke into pieces. Everybody took a piece of it, and they looked at it and thought they had the truth.” McMullan has succeeded in reassembling our individual broken truths into a clearer reflection of humanity.
453 reviews6 followers
June 9, 2015
The Special Bond Between Fathers and Daughters

Fathers come in all types from successes to failures, from loving to abusive, and from companionable to distant. In Every Father's Daughter twenty-four women write about what their father meant to them. For me, the theme is expressed best by the author's introduction and the first essay in the book where Jane Smiley writes about her absent father. It shows the way two very different fathers were viewed by their daughters and how this view affected their lives.

The author had a very close relationship with her father even to taking care of him during the last days of his life. Smiley had a different experience. Her father disappeared from her life as a small child. He returned for only brief moments and that lack of a father is what she believes gave her the opportunity to grow into her own person.

The essays run from daughters growing up with famous fathers, like Lily Lopate with Alex Styron, to a father descending into alcoholism as described by Barbara Shoup. When most of these women were growing up, fathers were a glimpse of the world outside while many mothers stayed at home. This gave the fathers an exotic image, tall, handsome and charismatic.

This is a wonderful book for father's day, or any day when you think about your father. It made me laugh and cry, and most of all it reminded me about the things I loved about my own father.

I reviewed this book for PR by the Book.
Profile Image for Literary Mama.
415 reviews45 followers
Read
June 18, 2015
McMullan notes that when she couldn't read or write following her father’s death, she realized that what she needed was a collection of essays written by women about their fathers. When she couldn’t find one, she reached out to writers who she and her father had gotten to know, or had admired, and asked them to contribute essays for Every Father's Daughter: Twenty-four Women Writers Remember Their Fathers.

Some of the featured authors are marquee names: Jane Smiley, Maxine Hong Kingston, Antonya Nelson, Bobbie Ann Mason, Alice Munro, and more. Plus, Phillip Lopate provides the introduction, while his daughter, Lily Lopate, examines her relationship with him in the essay, "A Relationship of Words," and Alexandra Styron reflects on her literary lion dad William in "Reading My Father." In the end, though, this glitz-value matters little, since the quality is consistently high across the collection.

Read Literary Mama's full review here: http://www.literarymama.com/reviews/a...
Profile Image for Sue Jackson.
510 reviews4 followers
November 2, 2015
As much as I wanted to like this book, it just fell flat. I appreciate that all of these authors were willing to tell their stories about their fathers and some of them were excellent. Some seemed emotional and others were more a matter of fact. But, overall, other than to appease the desire of the author gather these almost felt like they were written as part of an assignment.

The topic is great in that all of us have stories to tell about our fathers. So, in theory, this is great. In words, it just didn't work for me.
1 review
November 29, 2016
SINCE IT WAS ABOUT MY BROTHER, I LOVED IT!
IT WAS A WONDERFUL STORY OF HOW HE FELT BEING A FATHER AND WHAT HE FELT HE WAS SUPPOSED TO DO AS A FATHER TO MAKE SURE HIS FAMILY WERE TAKEN CARE OF AND LOVED UNCONDITIONALLY.
MY NIECES GREW UP KNOWING LOVE, BUT ALSO RESPONSIBILITY, TO FAMILY AND COMMUNITY. BOTH GREW INTO WONDERFUL, SMART, FUNNY WOMEN. THEY WERE NOT VAIN OR PRETENTIOUS OR GLAMOUROUS, BUT GENUINE IN EVERY WAY.
AND SUSAN HAS INSTILLED THAT SAME LOVE INTO HER OWN CHILDREN. IT LOOKS AS THOUGH THEY ARE TURNING OUT JUST AS GENUINE AS SHE.
Profile Image for Lauren.
10 reviews
June 12, 2016
Some heart wrenching, can be tough depending on your own relationship with your father. Most very heartfelt, and some very uplifting. I enjoyed it thoroughly because of the authors chosen, and the types of stories were so broad, yet hit the spot every time.
Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews