I purchased this book for ₹195 (~2.75USD) while visiting the Library of Tibetan Works and Archives in Dharamshala. Although I wasn’t necessarily looking to learn a great deal about Buddhism, I do admire the Dalai Lama and was hoping to take something from it that would make me a more peaceful and compassionate person, and help me not fear death.
For starters, it didn’t help soothe my anxiety concerning death at all, namely because whereas I view it as an ending, Buddhists view it merely as part of the cycle of rebirth—“like changing clothes,” in the words of the Dalai Lama. There were numerous passages that definitely rung true and can help you be more intentional in your efforts to be kind to others, but nothing here really helped me come to terms with my mortality. As I was reading this book I tried to really meditate on what the Dalai Lama was saying and how I could apply these lessons in my own life, even if only secularly. For example, ”You can praise people to their faces, but it can seem like flattery; it is better to praise them to others,” (p. 72). His perspective of enemies as opportunities to be patient and beggars as opportunities to be generous, (p. 87) is also a really positive view I hope I can emulate.
Chapter 5 —Patience— started out especially insightful, as patience is something that I often struggle with, but then it got weird with the victim-blaming… and only worse with the story of Vishvantara’s generosity. Giving away your children into servitude is not commendable, and what’s worse is that it’s not even the only story that involves abandoning your children and wife (in the introduction, he tells of Buddha Shakyamuni’s sacrificing “all the comforts of the palace, including the companionship of his wife and son,” as if this is an admirable act).
From here, despite still offering a lot of lessons that are beneficial to meditate on, the book never really recovered for me. In fact, and I hate to say this but, Buddhism’s fixation on freeing yourself of worldly possessions in order to obtain enlightenment seems less convincing to me now than it did before I’d read any Buddhist literature. Look, I originally wrote three lengthy paragraphs about how I disagree with the position that in order to eliminate negativity and suffering you can’t have offspring, spouses, parents, friends or contribute to society, citing specific passages from the book, but I’ve removed them because this is a book review, not a platform for philosophical/spiritual debate. Besides, the Dalai Lama does eventually admit towards the end that “if you sincerely practice, even if you stay and lead the life of a householder, nirvana will be yours,” (p. 121).
I will still keep the Dalai Lama’s teachings in mind because I do believe they can help me be more generous and patient and less angry and jealous, but the religious aspect of the book wasn’t convincing.