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Game Over: Uncovering the Secrets of Unhealthy Relationship Behaviours and Manipulation
Sometimes there is something that just doesn't feel right in a relationship and it's hard to put your finger on it. It might be in an intimate relationship, in dating, with a family member, a friendship or with someone in your workplace.
Maybe you feel confused about a relationship you've been in, maybe you're replaying conversations trying to work out what was going on. You may have found yourself thinking at times, "Maybe I'm overreacting." "Maybe I'm too sensitive." "Maybe it's me." "Maybe they didn't mean it like that." You may even have wondered whether you're dealing with a narcissist, whether someone is being manipulative, or whether it's abuse.
But then again, the relationship can be good sometimes too. One of the biggest signs of an unhealthy relationship is confusion. Because this is what happens when someone is playing power games, giving mixed messages, shifting the goalposts, saying one thing and doing another, making promises they never intend to keep, or leaving you feeling responsible for things that aren't even yours. It can feel like you're going mad, living on eggshells, or living with Jekyll and Hyde, never knowing which version you are going to see next. This is no way to live.
I'm Julia Summers, a counsellor and clinical supervisor and I have spent years helping people make sense of unhealthy and abusive relationships. This is the book I wished I could have given my clients in the counselling room.Drawing on psychological research, professional experience and real-life examples, Game Uncovering the Secrets of Unhealthy Relationship Behaviours and Manipulation explores how people gain power and control over others. Why we say yes when we mean no, or why we go along with things because it's 'easier'. These behaviours are happening all around us and once you read the book you will be able to spot them and name them.
Inside, you'll than 60 tactics and techniques people use to gain power and control
What people are doing, why they do it, and why it can feel so confusing
How gaslighting, love bombing, coercive control, guilt, blame and other unhealthy behaviours really work
How to spot the predictable patterns of manipulation, unhealthy behaviour and abuse
Why these patterns can leave us feeling confused, anxious and stuck
How to protect yourself and trust your own judgement again
What healthy relationships look like, so you can recognise the difference
Wherever these behaviours sit, from the subtly unhealthy to outright manipulation and abuse, one thing remains you are not to blame, and once you can see the patterns it's a lot easier to say Game Over.
Maybe you feel confused about a relationship you've been in, maybe you're replaying conversations trying to work out what was going on. You may have found yourself thinking at times, "Maybe I'm overreacting." "Maybe I'm too sensitive." "Maybe it's me." "Maybe they didn't mean it like that." You may even have wondered whether you're dealing with a narcissist, whether someone is being manipulative, or whether it's abuse.
But then again, the relationship can be good sometimes too. One of the biggest signs of an unhealthy relationship is confusion. Because this is what happens when someone is playing power games, giving mixed messages, shifting the goalposts, saying one thing and doing another, making promises they never intend to keep, or leaving you feeling responsible for things that aren't even yours. It can feel like you're going mad, living on eggshells, or living with Jekyll and Hyde, never knowing which version you are going to see next. This is no way to live.
I'm Julia Summers, a counsellor and clinical supervisor and I have spent years helping people make sense of unhealthy and abusive relationships. This is the book I wished I could have given my clients in the counselling room.Drawing on psychological research, professional experience and real-life examples, Game Uncovering the Secrets of Unhealthy Relationship Behaviours and Manipulation explores how people gain power and control over others. Why we say yes when we mean no, or why we go along with things because it's 'easier'. These behaviours are happening all around us and once you read the book you will be able to spot them and name them.
Inside, you'll than 60 tactics and techniques people use to gain power and control
What people are doing, why they do it, and why it can feel so confusing
How gaslighting, love bombing, coercive control, guilt, blame and other unhealthy behaviours really work
How to spot the predictable patterns of manipulation, unhealthy behaviour and abuse
Why these patterns can leave us feeling confused, anxious and stuck
How to protect yourself and trust your own judgement again
What healthy relationships look like, so you can recognise the difference
Wherever these behaviours sit, from the subtly unhealthy to outright manipulation and abuse, one thing remains you are not to blame, and once you can see the patterns it's a lot easier to say Game Over.
355 pages, Kindle Edition
Published July 10, 2026
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Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews
July 22, 2026
At last! Someone who gets it!!
As a psychotherapist, I read a lot of books around trauma, relationships and abuse. If I’m honest, I can struggle with books that feel like textbooks. I want something that teaches me, challenges me and gives me practical ways of understanding what people are experiencing, rather than pages of theory.
Game Over by Julia Summers does exactly that.
What I really appreciated was how accessible it is. It’s easy to read without ever feeling simplistic. You can dip in and out of chapters depending on what you need, or read it cover to cover. Either way, it feels like a book you’ll keep coming back to.
Rather than focusing on labels, it looks at behaviours, patterns and the impact those behaviours have on the person experiencing them. I found that incredibly helpful, both professionally and personally. It helps you make sense of things that can often feel confusing when you’re living through them.
As someone who works with people recovering from abusive relationships and trauma, I found myself nodding along throughout. It reflects the realities I see in the therapy room, which gave me confidence in what Julia was sharing. It felt trustworthy, compassionate and grounded in real-life experience.
What I liked most is that this isn’t a book that simply tells you what’s happening. It helps you recognise it, understand it and think about what to do next. There are practical takeaways throughout, making it useful rather than overwhelming.
I’d recommend Game Over not only to therapists wanting to deepen their understanding of coercive and abusive dynamics, but also to anyone who is questioning their own relationship, supporting someone they love, or trying to make sense of experiences they’ve struggled to put into words.
It’s one of those books that earns a permanent place on the bookshelf rather than being read once and forgotten.
Thank you, Julia, for writing something that is informative, compassionate and genuinely useful.
As a psychotherapist, I read a lot of books around trauma, relationships and abuse. If I’m honest, I can struggle with books that feel like textbooks. I want something that teaches me, challenges me and gives me practical ways of understanding what people are experiencing, rather than pages of theory.
Game Over by Julia Summers does exactly that.
What I really appreciated was how accessible it is. It’s easy to read without ever feeling simplistic. You can dip in and out of chapters depending on what you need, or read it cover to cover. Either way, it feels like a book you’ll keep coming back to.
Rather than focusing on labels, it looks at behaviours, patterns and the impact those behaviours have on the person experiencing them. I found that incredibly helpful, both professionally and personally. It helps you make sense of things that can often feel confusing when you’re living through them.
As someone who works with people recovering from abusive relationships and trauma, I found myself nodding along throughout. It reflects the realities I see in the therapy room, which gave me confidence in what Julia was sharing. It felt trustworthy, compassionate and grounded in real-life experience.
What I liked most is that this isn’t a book that simply tells you what’s happening. It helps you recognise it, understand it and think about what to do next. There are practical takeaways throughout, making it useful rather than overwhelming.
I’d recommend Game Over not only to therapists wanting to deepen their understanding of coercive and abusive dynamics, but also to anyone who is questioning their own relationship, supporting someone they love, or trying to make sense of experiences they’ve struggled to put into words.
It’s one of those books that earns a permanent place on the bookshelf rather than being read once and forgotten.
Thank you, Julia, for writing something that is informative, compassionate and genuinely useful.
August 10, 2026
I read this book and, for an educational book, I found it hard to put down. It's so well written and Julia makes all the terms & concepts very easy to understand.
I thought I had some idea what the manosphere was about. However, its a lot worse than I could have imagined. I had to take time to calm down when reading the book because some of the things I read made me angry- that people could behave so badly towards others, causing hurt & pain. Quite shocking to be honest. All manner of manipulative behaviour is described in detail. This book will serve people well - if you've been in, or are in, a relationship and something isn't quite right, you're definitely going to find the answer in this book.
I recommend this book to anyone- whether you're a professional in the mental health industry looking to increase their knowledge of abusive behaviours/relationships or someone who wants to learn more about healthy & unhealthy relationships- you can't go wrong with this book.
I thought I had some idea what the manosphere was about. However, its a lot worse than I could have imagined. I had to take time to calm down when reading the book because some of the things I read made me angry- that people could behave so badly towards others, causing hurt & pain. Quite shocking to be honest. All manner of manipulative behaviour is described in detail. This book will serve people well - if you've been in, or are in, a relationship and something isn't quite right, you're definitely going to find the answer in this book.
I recommend this book to anyone- whether you're a professional in the mental health industry looking to increase their knowledge of abusive behaviours/relationships or someone who wants to learn more about healthy & unhealthy relationships- you can't go wrong with this book.
October 10, 2026
Game Over stands out as one of the best books in its field. Books on this subject can often feel academic and difficult to read, but this one is highly accessible. It is valuable not only for readers who have experienced unhealthy relationships, but also for anyone seeking to better understand harmful behaviours and manipulation. Its structure is particularly effective: the content is broken into short, focused sections, each exploring a specific behaviour or tactic with clear examples. When I discussed the book with friends, they immediately recognised people and situations from their own lives, saying things like, “This chapter is my neighbour,” “This section is my mother-in-law,” and “XXX is definitely DARVO.” Such relatability is one of the book’s strengths. What I love most is that it does not categorise or diagnose people; instead, it focuses on behaviours and their impact. I highly recommend it to everyone.
July 23, 2026
I was very excited to receive this book. It has come at just the right time when men are being encouraged to push back against feminism in a very unhealthy way.
I love the way this book is laid out. The chapters are short and easy to digest and all the tactics are illustrated by examples that I am so used to hearing myself and have heard many of my friends report.
This is a book for anyone who can feel uncomfortable in, has doubts about or is questioning their relationship. The Game can take many forms. This book throws unhealthy, manipulative and abusive behaviours into stark relief and gives a voice to those who have been silenced or who have been persuaded that they are the problem in their relationship.
I love the way this book is laid out. The chapters are short and easy to digest and all the tactics are illustrated by examples that I am so used to hearing myself and have heard many of my friends report.
This is a book for anyone who can feel uncomfortable in, has doubts about or is questioning their relationship. The Game can take many forms. This book throws unhealthy, manipulative and abusive behaviours into stark relief and gives a voice to those who have been silenced or who have been persuaded that they are the problem in their relationship.
August 7, 2026
I’ve had my head stuck in this book since I got it, it’s really eye opening, I was reading it because someone close to me has been going through a really bad relationship and I wanted to understand why they just won’t leave, it’s really helped me to see how complicated it all is. I see now that when someone is being manipulated and feeling controlled its not a normal relationship so I feel like I can be more supportive. It also helped me to look at some things that I had experienced in my life and put names to them which was really helpful and validating. I definitely would recommend Game Over to anyone in these relationships or if someone close to you is and you want to understand it more. It’s a great book.
July 29, 2026
This book was both eye-opening and, at times, deeply validating. Having experienced some manipulative behaviours in relationships myself, I found myself recognising patterns I hadn't fully understood before. The book explains complex topics with clarity and compassion, helping me make sense of behaviours that can be confusing and difficult to identify when you're living through them. Rather than judging, it encourages understanding and awareness. I finished the book feeling more informed, more empowered, and convinced that this is an important read for anyone who wants to recognise unhealthy relationship dynamics before they become deeply damaging.
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews