The Pastor's Wife The Pastor's Wife: Strengthened by Grace for a Life of Love

by Gloria Furman

Pastors' wives are in a privileged--yet often difficult--position. Various challenges make it is easy for ministry wives to feel discouraged about their relationship with God, lose their wonder at the mystery of the church, and forget the joy of serving alongside their husband. In this encouraging and humorous book, Gloria Furman offers pastors' wives a breath of fresh air, reminding readers that Christ stands ready to help regardless of the circumstance--whether it's late-night counseling sessions, unrealistic expectations about how they spend their time, or complaints about their husbands' preaching. Filled with life-giving truth from God's Word regarding the privilege of ministry in Christ's name, this book will help women joyfully treasure their Savior, serve their husbands, and love their churches.

Genres: Christian, Nonfiction, Womens, Marriage, Christian Living, Theology, Christian Non Fiction

162 pages, Kindle Edition

First published April 17, 2015

About the author

Gloria Furman (MACE, Dallas Theological Seminary) is a wife, mother of four, cross-cultural worker, and writer. In 2008 her family moved to the Middle East to plant Redeemer Church of Dubai where her husband, Dave, serves as the pastor. She is the author of Glimpses of Grace, Treasuring Christ When Your Hands Are Full, The Pastor’s Wife, and Missional Motherhood.

Reviews

[Autumn Beck]

I am so humbled how God Providentially ordained that I would read this book today. I've had it on my to-read list for years but today seemed like a good day to check out the audiobook. I was blessed in every way. Gloria addressed every struggle, question, frustration I've experienced since becoming a pastor's wife. The scriptures she read washed over me with a wave of comfort and peace. God put me in this blessed position and I am very grateful for the privilege.

[Caitlin]

A short but precise read for pastors wives and wives of men in ministry. The best part of the book is that it spans cultures. I tire of reading books for women in English where 75% of their encouragement is culture-specific. Furman did a great job encouraging women toward God, His Word, and His glory. It wasn’t heavy on culture or difficult theology, rather, on trusting the Lord where He’s put you. I would highly recommend this book.

[Jenna Prince]

Definitely worth reading. Reminded me that my role as pastor’s wife rests in Christ’s ability and strength not my own.

[Linda Filcek]

Simple yet profound truths from God’s word told in a relatable way by this woman married to a pastor. Would be applicable to any woman, really, but her perspective as a ministry wife is helpful. I’ve read this book a few times before and it’s always helped with of good reminders and centers my mind in this role I have!

[Britta Fuzak]

So bummed it’s over. I throughly enjoyed and appreciated this book. I listened to the audio version while pulling the kitchen together in the evening but I would really like to get a hard copy to go through more throughly. No matter what season I’m in I am called to be a follower of Christ, a servant like Christ, a helper for my husband, and to faithfully serve as a member of the bride of Christ (the Church).

[Madison Moore]

This book is exceptionally humble & encouraging. I’m not a pastors wife, but we are in ministry together, and ministry is hard!! I’m thankful this book exists.

[Rebekah]

I really wanted to love this book - but was a little disappointed. As a new Pastor's wife, I was looking for a book that would encourage me in this unique role and provide practical tips and advice. Unfortunately, I really struggled with Gloria's writing style and had a hard time staying focused. I found myself having to re-read paragraphs to remember what I just read. I guess you could say her writing style doesn't "flow" well for me. I also disagreed with several statements in the beginning which were dripping with reformed theology.

With that said, I did enjoy the culteral aspect of the book since Gloria and her husband are church planters in the middle east. There were also some helpful chapters towards the end on serving and using our gifts well. Maybe I'll re-read this book at a later time and it will be just what I need... For now, that just wasn't the case.

[Mary Beth]

So much gospel truth. I love how saturated this book is with the Bible. Also appreciated the emphasis on separating the worldly "theology of glory", as Martin Luther would have called it, that has often had a worldly influence on what people expect from leadership families, from real biblical expectations. The tiny section on hospitality had more wisdom and truth than almost every full size book on hospitality I've ever read. This is a great book full of encouragement to rest in the sufficiency of Christ in all things.

[Hannah]

I read this book a year ago, frustrated at the lack of practical examples I pridefully wanted. Reading it a second time, I’m humbled, and I’m refreshed by the saturation of Scripture that reminds me that my identity is found in Christ alone, not in being a pastor’s wife.

As Gloria Furman herself says, “I think too many conversations regarding ministry wives are centered on who she is and what she ought to do, and we spend so little time talking about who Christ is and what he had done and will do.”

[Leah Finn]

So far I have really enjoyed Gloria Furman's writing! I appreciate how her experience in cross-cultural ministry gives her a unique point of view as a pastor's wife and mother.

[NinaB]

This was an excellent, quick read. As a missionary wife, I found myself relating to the author’s situation and agreeing with her conclusions. Her focus is Christ and reminds us throughout the book our identity is in Him. She dismisses the popular mantra common among women’s books, “I am a princess, daughter of the King.” Instead, she encourages her readers to “Behold your King!” We are and can do nothing without Christ and He is enough. Ministry is hard, but with the right focus on Him, who can enable us, we can face anything with confidence in His ability to work through weak vessels like us. It is his work, after all.

I hope to study this as a group with other ladies in full time ministry, but I recommend it to any woman who desires to minister to the Body of Christ.

Some favorite quotes from the book:

“In case you don’t have time to read the rest of this book I’ll just put my cards on the table–I think wives of ministers need encouragement and refreshment in the Lord, and we find that hope and help in the gospel. This idea isn’t new or scandalous, but with all things clamoring for our attention I think we could use an opportunity to recalibrate our perspective and set our gaze on eternal things. After all, why would we want to wade around in shallow puddles of man-made ideals when there is the incomprehensible ocean of the love of Christ that surpasses all knowledge for us to dive into (Eph. 3:18-19)?”

“Too many conversations regarding ministry wives are centered on who she is and what she ought to do, and we spend so little time talking about who Christ is and what He has done and will do.”

“Weakness is not in the way - it is the way.”

“Held in our Shepherd’s unflinching grip, we are safely his at all times and in every circumstance. Your constancy is Christ. And at the end of all things created, in the most beautiful paradox of the ages, the Lamb is shown to be the Shepherd, ‘and he will guide them to springs of living water, and God will wipe away every tear from their eyes’ (Rev. 7:17)”

[Ryan Hawkins]

I read this because my wife did and wanted me to read it so we could discuss. I’m glad I did. Overall, she puts forth a very biblical view of what it means to be a pastor’s wife (which includes a lot of freedom and non-specifics from the Bible), she’s extremely Christ- and gospel-centered (impressively so), and she focuses on the pastor’s wife herself being a fellow Christian who is called to serve and be served, love and be loved.

The most surprising part of this book for me was how unspecific it was. In one way, that was good; for the Bible doesn’t have specific roles for a pastor’s wife. As she says somewhere, the role of elder/pastor is an office, but a pastor’s wife is emphatically not an office in the church. But on the other hand, I wish that she did get more specific sometimes in her applications, not necessarily giving the “right” one choice, but by giving many applications/routes a pastor’s wife could take. Instead, the book almost always felt like a book written to just fellow Christian women—not necessarily pastor’s wives.

Finally, I liked how she went through the qualifications for the elder and applied them indirectly to the pastor’s wife. But wouldn’t it have been better if, after discussing the pastor’s wife role as a helper (like all wives), if she listed the qualifications for an elder and then applied them to the wife by asking how she could help her husband be more hospitable, not quarrelsome, etc.? That seems to be the more biblical route, rather than just taking the qualifications and indirectly applying them to the wife.

I recommend it to any Christian woman, not just pastors wives, because it it mostly just a book about Christian discipleship specifically aimed at women. And again, her Christ-centeredness is pervasive and always refreshing.

[Jessica]

I loved this book. Thank you Gloria for your honest, gospel soaked book that encourages ministry wives. I felt encouraged to lean much on our glorious, all-powerful God without having the challenges of ministry diminished in any way. Yet at the same time I was challenged to stop seeing the role as so unique that it reinforces an invisible distance from other women in the church. I liked the gold fish bowl illustration. As ministry wives we are not swimming in a goldfish bowl with others looking on, so much as all of us as sisters in Christ swimming together in a bowl where the world is looking on. Dory came to mind, "Just keep swimming."

This book will not give you a list of expectations to meet or try desperately to keep. Instead it draws attention to our calling and the amazing grace sufficiently offered to live that out in our pocket of His creation.

I am challenged to lean much on my saviour as I seek to live out my love for Him, and to lean closer to my sisters in Christ to encourage one another in swimming together.

[Corinne Holloway]

Overall, this is a 3 star book, but I gave it 4 because certain chapters are gems and really concise and encouraging. Also, maybe I’m just reading this at a pointed time in my life since my husband is getting ordained/installed in 4 days and I’ll officially be a “Pastor’s Wife” after that. Either way, definitely worth the quick read!

[Hannah Gerbitz]

This book was a gospel saturated look at what a life of ministry for pastor’s wives looks like. While the writing was not very eloquent or extremely engaging (at least to me), this book felt more like a sister in Christ casually exhorting me and other ministry wives about our true identity and what a life of service is ultimately about. I was definitely helped by it in many ways.

[Christina DeVane]

I️ listened to this on audio book but I would enjoy a hard copy more to highlight and remember certain parts. I️ really enjoyed the beginning talking about how we let everything and everyone identify us as a pastor’s wife instead of what God says about us!

[Abby Jones]

I think I'm going to have to read this book a second time to really figure out what I think about it. The over all premise about serving the church, serving your husband, Christ's work in the life of sinners, our need for daily grace, and the fact that there is on office of Pastor's wife, was all spot on. The focus on personal ministry made me hesitate at several points. This first read was really just an exploration of the book itself. I may read it again soon to try and dig deeper into the book.

[Reece Julian]

I thoroughly enjoyed this book!! The three main sections of the book touch on loving Christ, loving your husband, and loving the Church!! It gets a 4 because some parts of her writing weren’t my preferred style, but it was still very theologically sound and enjoyable.

[Meg Hoffman]

I wish there was more substance to this book. It kind of felt like a lot of the content was just to hit a word count. There were some good reminders though. I really liked the anecdote about things in life (good/bad/trials/deep loss) acting as midwives to bring about holiness in us. That was really helpful. Holiness and sanctification don't just happen. Comparing it to the hard work of midwifery and childbirth was a picture that will stick with me for a while as I go through various trials, specifically my very difficult health trials.

[Sarah]

This is a lovely book full of scripture more about who we are in Christ than anything else. It didn't have a bunch of practical advice, but was full of reminders about who we are as Christians.

[Jacki Gillow]

It wasn't anything I hadn't already heard/read.
Take what she says with a grain of salt.

[Lauren Friske]

Excellent book! Super practical insights on ministry families and how to help those who give their lives to serve the church!

[Elise]

Writing style: 🌟🌟🌟🌟
Engagement:🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
Content: 🌟🌟🌟
Purpose:🌟🌟🌟🌟
Value:🌟🌟🌟🌟
Overall: 4/5

[Kimberly]

3.5 stars. This little book took me way too long to finish mostly because I struggle with her writing style. I find myself rereading paragraphs because I have no idea what she’s trying to say. That being said, I am still glad I read the book. My favorite part was the section on loving Christ’s bride.

[Ashley Tegart]

Wow. This was fantastic.

The Pastor’s Wife is a brief but beneficial book that is saturated with Scripture and the gospel! It is less about the practical aspects of how to deal with unrealistic expectations from either yourself or others and is more a reminder of the gospel. At times encouraging and at other times convicting, I found The Pastor’s Wife to be a wonderful read.

[Lindsey]

As a book, it really wasn’t bad. There were a lot of truths about life as a Godly wife. However, it lacked a lot of direction about pastor’s wives specifically. It also uses a lot of denominational specific church structure language (deacons and elders) that I’m not entirely sure I grasp what that means in her specific context.
Just being honest, nothing I read was encouraging for me or gave me any sense of direction. All I heard was “sit down”. And maybe that’s what I need to hear, but that isn’t encouraging or uplifting in any way. And I felt like she did some circles around directly coming out and saying “sit down”. It felt like she was giving the usual “you’re just like any other member of the church “ advice without coming out and directly saying that or addressing if that is true— what then do I do? Because she admits expectations and experiences of pastors’ wives are not the expectations and experiences of all women, yet she basically says we’re like all other women in the church. Cool, but what do I do with that? And if the answer is indeed “sit down”, how do I do that?
It wasn’t a bad book— it just didn’t accomplish what it set out to accomplish. It would have been better branded and titled for just godly womanhood within the church.

[Anna]

A short but insightful book on what it is to be a pastor's wife. The Bible doesn't list any qualifications for the pastor's wife, and yet, many church folk (and pastor's wives!) have ideas in their heads as to what her role should be. This book was a great reminder that the calling of a pastor's wife is the same as any wife: to respect her husband and be his helper, with her ultimate calling being to love and serve the Lord. I liked the book. It helped put my focus where it should be and Who it should be on. No easy feat when living life in the proverbial fish bowl. :)

[Lindsay Hart]

What an encouraging book! Reading it felt like being taken out to coffee and getting to glean from the experience and wisdom of a more seasoned pastor’s wife.

I especially appreciated this section, “Where does your help come from? A lighter schedule? A babysitter? A bigger budget? Perhaps those things will bring temporary relief… The Bible tells us that our enduring and ultimate help comes from the Lord. Psalm 121:1-2… you are not without help in your ministry to your husband. Hebrews 13:5-6.”

[Ashley McKnight]

Profoundly deep yet accessible.
A refreshing balm of peace and rejoicing in Our Saviour.
Not just for pastor's wives.

[Ta'Neisha Kemp]

The Pastor's Wife The Pastor's Wife: Strengthened by Grace for a Life of Love by Gloria Furman is a scripture-rich book filled with inspiration for ministry wives in all areas. Being married to a man in ministry is a difficult position with various challenges and constant opposition that can lead to discouragement. However, we must not allow those moments to remove our joy of serving God through this call to serve others alongside our husbands. In this encouraging and humorous book, Gloria Furman offers pastors’ wives and ministry wives reminders that Christ stands ready to help regardless of the circumstance. God will guide us through late-night counseling sessions, unrealistic expectations, issues with parishioners, desire for more time with our husbands, and even members' complaints about our husbands’ preaching.

Mrs. Furman did a PHENOMENAL job explaining the duties of a ministry wife while encouraging us in every effort. I appreciated her testimonials, relatable anecdotes, and true understanding of women that are blessed with husbands in ministry. Her repeated emphasis on giving grace to ourselves, our husbands, and the people we serve was spot on. She also provided plenty of scripture to help us endure, especially for those times when we must serve through our hard seasons. Overall, it is a beautiful gift and privilege to be married to a servant of God and He has equipped us to handle it all. It is my prayer that all ministry wives that read The Pastor's Wife: Strengthened by Grace for a Life of Love by Gloria Furman or my review feel heard, understood, and have renewed joy as they serve God alongside their husbands and love their churches.

@taneishareads on Instagram