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Shtum
Snažna, crnohumorna i duboko emotivna, U tišini je priča o disfunkcionalnim obiteljima, autizmu te pokušajima da obitelj preživi najteža iskušenja. Ben Jewell došao je do prijelomne točke u svom životu. Njegov desetogodišnji sin Jonah ima teži oblik autizma, a on i njegova žena Emma, po struci pravnica, na rubu su snaga. Na Emmin nagovor Ben pristane odglumiti rastavu braka, kako bi se povećale Jonahove šanse za najbolju skrb u specijalnoj ustanovi za autističnu djecu. Ben i Jonah odlaze živjeti s Georgom, Benovim postarijim ocem koji obožava svojeg unuka, ali s vlastitim sinom ima neriješene odnose. Dok Ben muku muči s Jonahom i njegovim zahtjevnim rutinama koje ga ponekad dovode do ruba ludila, Emma je sve više odsutna i duhom i tijelom... Ben uviđa da je u borbi za sina sam i da sav teret odgovornosti pada na njegova leđa. Pritom se bori i sa svojom ovisnosti o alkoholu koji mu je godinama jedina utjeha... »Impresivan roman koji vjerno prikazuje svakodnevne napore s kojima se suočavaju roditelji autistične djece, dok čitatelja istovremeno vodi na vrtoglavu vožnju toboganom emocija tuge, veselja i gnjeva.«
313 pages, Paperback
First published April 7, 2016
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5133 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 795 reviews
October 16, 2022
This is not a perfect book - the dialogues are occasionally confusing and the relationships between certain characters are not as fully developed as they might be - but, by god, it's a brave one, and for that (as well as its incredible ending) it earns a full five stars.
June 11, 2021
Oh wow. Speechless. Incredible book. Especially as a mother to an autistic son. Absolutely brilliant. Please just read this before you die.
Some reviews are hard to do as you just can't find enough words to be expressed coherently. I have a million jumbled things to say about this book and need to narrow it down to what is important to the potential reader. This is one of the few books I have read featuring an autistic character that is very true-to-life. Jem Lester really nailed the realism with this book. Any parent of an autistic child will both laugh and cry whilst reading this exceptional book.
It's heartfelt and heartbreaking at the same time. It made me smile and it made me sad. It made me frustrated and angry at times along with the characters. I felt like I was in their home, their lives, their journey.
So what about the plot? One autistic's boys journey with his family to fight for the right to be himself and get the best support possible. The battle with the local authority for the right schooling, a battle I know so well (as do many parents of ASD kiddies). Boy, this book was emotional. The characters are exceptional, so realistic you cringe at times at their mistakes and stuff-ups. Parenting is not perfect! The book does not try to smooth over the hard bits of parenting an autistic child and it includes all the wonderful moments, the love, the breakthroughs and it's BALANCED. It's a darn good story!
It really went some places I did not expect it to go and it was a page-turning, cannot put down read. This is just one of those books that must be read in your lifetime, for a million and one reasons. Go on, open your heart and mind and grab Shtum to enjoy. Exceptional book that I am really not doing justice with my review. 5 whopping stars from this autism mama.
Thanks so much for reading my review! To follow more reviews, be alerted to awesome online author events and HUGE book giveaways and more come on over to: https://www.facebook.com/BookloverCat...
To follow me on Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/promotethatbook
To enquire about joining my VIP book reviewers team: http://goo.gl/forms/GWMOvlofZg
To enquire about my varied and affordable book publicity services: http://goo.gl/forms/eVwa2HFKnK
Some reviews are hard to do as you just can't find enough words to be expressed coherently. I have a million jumbled things to say about this book and need to narrow it down to what is important to the potential reader. This is one of the few books I have read featuring an autistic character that is very true-to-life. Jem Lester really nailed the realism with this book. Any parent of an autistic child will both laugh and cry whilst reading this exceptional book.
It's heartfelt and heartbreaking at the same time. It made me smile and it made me sad. It made me frustrated and angry at times along with the characters. I felt like I was in their home, their lives, their journey.
So what about the plot? One autistic's boys journey with his family to fight for the right to be himself and get the best support possible. The battle with the local authority for the right schooling, a battle I know so well (as do many parents of ASD kiddies). Boy, this book was emotional. The characters are exceptional, so realistic you cringe at times at their mistakes and stuff-ups. Parenting is not perfect! The book does not try to smooth over the hard bits of parenting an autistic child and it includes all the wonderful moments, the love, the breakthroughs and it's BALANCED. It's a darn good story!
It really went some places I did not expect it to go and it was a page-turning, cannot put down read. This is just one of those books that must be read in your lifetime, for a million and one reasons. Go on, open your heart and mind and grab Shtum to enjoy. Exceptional book that I am really not doing justice with my review. 5 whopping stars from this autism mama.
Thanks so much for reading my review! To follow more reviews, be alerted to awesome online author events and HUGE book giveaways and more come on over to: https://www.facebook.com/BookloverCat...
To follow me on Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/promotethatbook
To enquire about joining my VIP book reviewers team: http://goo.gl/forms/GWMOvlofZg
To enquire about my varied and affordable book publicity services: http://goo.gl/forms/eVwa2HFKnK
June 2, 2016
Shtum is a story about family dynamics, relationships and the harrowing experience of raising a autistic child at the extreme end of the spectrum. It is guaranteed to make you laugh, cry and pull at your heartstrings. You will be outraged at a system that is more concerned about saving money, rather than meeting the needs of a vulnerable child. It explores how communication problems do not afflict sufferers of autism alone, but infects a marriage, and Ben’s relationship with his own father. The author portrays autism so accurately that it must come from some level of personal experience.
The story is told from the perspective of Ben, a guilt ridden thirtysomething father, moving in with his father, Georg, with his autistic son JJ (Jonah) so that the local authority agrees to sending him to a more appropriate, more expensive school. Emma, his wife, states a single father is in a better position to attain the desired outcome of more support and the best school for JJ at a tribunal. The dynamics of three generations of jewish males and their everyday lives is a joy to behold in all its loving complications. It soon transpires that the pretend separation is real and the insecurities that Ben feels about his marriage are rooted in reality. Ben drinks, he drinks a lot whilst trying to cope with JJ. His day job is something that barely impinges on him, he works at his father’s business hiring out catering equipment, but it is Valentine who does the work. He spends time at the pub where he is faking that he works in the construction industry! What he does have are incredible friends in Johnny, Amanda and their son, Tom, who was born at a similar time to JJ.
There is a lot of work entailed in preparing for the tribunal, and the love Ben has for his son spurs him on. This includes visits from social workers, visits to schools, acquiring legal representation, reports from experts etc.. Ben has to face the collapse of his dad’s company due to his negligence. Emma tells him she is not in a position to contribute to costs and that he should look to his father for funds. This is awkward for Ben as he is not close to Georg. Ben and Georg’s relationship is poignant and beautifully portrayed. Georg adores his grandson and tells him stuff he has never told Ben. It takes time for Georg to come round to agreeing what is best for Jonah and in the interim he is diagnosed with terminal cancer. Emma serves divorce papers to Ben. Georg is actually dying and rushed to a hospice whilst Ben is attending the tribunal amidst this emotional maelstrom. Nevertheless, Ben reads an account of life as Jonah which allows the panel an unprecedented insight into JJs life to assess his needs.
At Georg’s funeral, the errant Emma explains how she reached the point of marital breakdown to Ben, her addiction to certain drugs just so that she could manage. Her capacity to handle JJ deteriorated and there was no communication with Ben. Ben is astounded, he had absolutely no idea. We are given an insight into the history of alcholism with Ben and its connection with his mother who abandoned him as a child. The tribunal results in JJ’s placement in the desired Oxfordshire school. Ben goes to Hungary to explore his dad’s heritage and the death of Jonatan, the autistic brother of his father he never knew about. He finds the burial site of Jonatan’s body and where he died in the final throes of Nazi rule. The story ends with Ben at the crossroads of moving to a better place in his life.
I cannot put into words how much I loved this book. It has heart, warmth and a compelling narrative. It depicts a picture of a contemporary jewish family, more specifically the males, with all their flaws, foibles, idiosyncracies, love, despair and triumphs. The characters are extraordinary in their complexities and are so real that you believe in them. I adored the incomparable socialist Georg and JJ. Jem Lester has done a super job in his picture of JJ, we feel so empathetic towards him whilst at the same time understanding just what a toll it takes in meeting his needs and caring for him. Many parents of autistic children will sigh with relief upon reading this novel, seeing that others also face similar burdens, battles and joys. He infuses humour and intelligence throughout the story whilst having a keen understanding of the nature of complex human relationships over time. I have no doubt that Shtum will be a highly successfully debut novel for Jem Lester, it is just waiting to be turned into a superb movie with the right director. Many grateful thanks to Orion for a copy of the book via netgalley.
The story is told from the perspective of Ben, a guilt ridden thirtysomething father, moving in with his father, Georg, with his autistic son JJ (Jonah) so that the local authority agrees to sending him to a more appropriate, more expensive school. Emma, his wife, states a single father is in a better position to attain the desired outcome of more support and the best school for JJ at a tribunal. The dynamics of three generations of jewish males and their everyday lives is a joy to behold in all its loving complications. It soon transpires that the pretend separation is real and the insecurities that Ben feels about his marriage are rooted in reality. Ben drinks, he drinks a lot whilst trying to cope with JJ. His day job is something that barely impinges on him, he works at his father’s business hiring out catering equipment, but it is Valentine who does the work. He spends time at the pub where he is faking that he works in the construction industry! What he does have are incredible friends in Johnny, Amanda and their son, Tom, who was born at a similar time to JJ.
There is a lot of work entailed in preparing for the tribunal, and the love Ben has for his son spurs him on. This includes visits from social workers, visits to schools, acquiring legal representation, reports from experts etc.. Ben has to face the collapse of his dad’s company due to his negligence. Emma tells him she is not in a position to contribute to costs and that he should look to his father for funds. This is awkward for Ben as he is not close to Georg. Ben and Georg’s relationship is poignant and beautifully portrayed. Georg adores his grandson and tells him stuff he has never told Ben. It takes time for Georg to come round to agreeing what is best for Jonah and in the interim he is diagnosed with terminal cancer. Emma serves divorce papers to Ben. Georg is actually dying and rushed to a hospice whilst Ben is attending the tribunal amidst this emotional maelstrom. Nevertheless, Ben reads an account of life as Jonah which allows the panel an unprecedented insight into JJs life to assess his needs.
At Georg’s funeral, the errant Emma explains how she reached the point of marital breakdown to Ben, her addiction to certain drugs just so that she could manage. Her capacity to handle JJ deteriorated and there was no communication with Ben. Ben is astounded, he had absolutely no idea. We are given an insight into the history of alcholism with Ben and its connection with his mother who abandoned him as a child. The tribunal results in JJ’s placement in the desired Oxfordshire school. Ben goes to Hungary to explore his dad’s heritage and the death of Jonatan, the autistic brother of his father he never knew about. He finds the burial site of Jonatan’s body and where he died in the final throes of Nazi rule. The story ends with Ben at the crossroads of moving to a better place in his life.
I cannot put into words how much I loved this book. It has heart, warmth and a compelling narrative. It depicts a picture of a contemporary jewish family, more specifically the males, with all their flaws, foibles, idiosyncracies, love, despair and triumphs. The characters are extraordinary in their complexities and are so real that you believe in them. I adored the incomparable socialist Georg and JJ. Jem Lester has done a super job in his picture of JJ, we feel so empathetic towards him whilst at the same time understanding just what a toll it takes in meeting his needs and caring for him. Many parents of autistic children will sigh with relief upon reading this novel, seeing that others also face similar burdens, battles and joys. He infuses humour and intelligence throughout the story whilst having a keen understanding of the nature of complex human relationships over time. I have no doubt that Shtum will be a highly successfully debut novel for Jem Lester, it is just waiting to be turned into a superb movie with the right director. Many grateful thanks to Orion for a copy of the book via netgalley.
February 8, 2019
What a terrific story. I had heard all the hype around this book when it was first released and decided I’d lay low for a while. But not this long, it slipped down my Kindle and my list.
So this year my challenge was to read some of my back TBR list along with future and up to date books.
This, was one from my past TBR.
I don’t know what else to say more than other reviewers as everything has been said.
I can agree that it’s poignant, compelling, unputdownable, plenty of emotion but laughter too.
The author really knows they’re stuff when it comes to autism.
The havoc and emotional damage that any child with a disability can evoke on any family.
Parents love their children no matter what, but, not everyone can cope as we see here.
I listened to this on audio. I wouldn’t say it’s the best voices as it seemed a bit OTT in voice at times.
The father came across as some petulant child sometimes and although he ended up being a sole Carer he really was sulky around his own father at times I felt.
His father I grew to love. The curt but honest man. He made perfect sense.
The mother was so dam frustrating for me at times. Yes I understood her emotions and pulling away even if I didn’t agree with it but someone needed to speak to her or at least she speak to someone.
The times I laughed in this book or smiled were numerous times.
Fighting for the rights and care of any disabled person in your care is taxing. I know first hand unfortunately.
But a child who is needing the best of the best out there, not mediocre, not “that’ll do” but to get the best out of what life and available options are out there to bring the best potential out of your child. Fight. And that’s what happened.
I laughed over and over with the words the officialdom used! Isn’t that the truth!
Those who have read this will know exactly what I mean.
Brilliant written, brilliantly done. So enjoyable.
Just not keen on that narrator.
So this year my challenge was to read some of my back TBR list along with future and up to date books.
This, was one from my past TBR.
I don’t know what else to say more than other reviewers as everything has been said.
I can agree that it’s poignant, compelling, unputdownable, plenty of emotion but laughter too.
The author really knows they’re stuff when it comes to autism.
The havoc and emotional damage that any child with a disability can evoke on any family.
Parents love their children no matter what, but, not everyone can cope as we see here.
I listened to this on audio. I wouldn’t say it’s the best voices as it seemed a bit OTT in voice at times.
The father came across as some petulant child sometimes and although he ended up being a sole Carer he really was sulky around his own father at times I felt.
His father I grew to love. The curt but honest man. He made perfect sense.
The mother was so dam frustrating for me at times. Yes I understood her emotions and pulling away even if I didn’t agree with it but someone needed to speak to her or at least she speak to someone.
The times I laughed in this book or smiled were numerous times.
Fighting for the rights and care of any disabled person in your care is taxing. I know first hand unfortunately.
But a child who is needing the best of the best out there, not mediocre, not “that’ll do” but to get the best out of what life and available options are out there to bring the best potential out of your child. Fight. And that’s what happened.
I laughed over and over with the words the officialdom used! Isn’t that the truth!
Those who have read this will know exactly what I mean.
Brilliant written, brilliantly done. So enjoyable.
Just not keen on that narrator.
November 30, 2019
This is one of those books that has sat on my TBR for years and once I picked it up I could barely put it down.
Met Ben. Ben is a father to an 11 year old boy with a complex form of autism. Ben is a son to a Jewish man who survived WW2. This book is entirely focused on these three characters. Three generations of men, all related, all entirely unique.
I really enjoyed this, I mean it made me cry, twice actually, sure sign that these characters got under my skin.
This felt so refreshing, I feel that this specific genre has few males voices, from the authors afterword I now know that the content of this book is mainly from personal experience which I had a feeling of while reading as this book is raw emotion.
Four colourful reflective stars for three equally unique characters that gave me all the feels.
Met Ben. Ben is a father to an 11 year old boy with a complex form of autism. Ben is a son to a Jewish man who survived WW2. This book is entirely focused on these three characters. Three generations of men, all related, all entirely unique.
I really enjoyed this, I mean it made me cry, twice actually, sure sign that these characters got under my skin.
This felt so refreshing, I feel that this specific genre has few males voices, from the authors afterword I now know that the content of this book is mainly from personal experience which I had a feeling of while reading as this book is raw emotion.
Four colourful reflective stars for three equally unique characters that gave me all the feels.
September 27, 2021
5★
I remember the Yiddish word “shtum” as meaning to keep quiet about something, as in to keep it secret, to yourself, not just to be silent. The U sounds like “put”, rather than like “mum”. **
The author drops us smack in the middle of a family overwhelmed: a severely autistic boy of 10, Jonah, lives with Ben, his alcoholic (but not admitted to it yet) father, and Emma, his over-achieving lawyer mother. Ben seems to be the primary carer now.
They deal daily with cleaning poo off the walls or facing a kitchen that’s been ransacked, with cereal and bread strewn across a floor covered with burst packets of chips and jam if they aren’t quick enough to foresee his needs.
We’re treated to a lot of those scenes, but that’s the point. This is not an occasional tantrum, this is the family’s daily life and Jonah’s regular behaviour. Ben does a pretty good job of having apples and chips and bread always handy, but sometimes Jonah beats him to it, like a puppy let off a leash – but he’s getting big, and he bites and kicks and it’s getting dangerous.
This child is happy in a park, chasing leaves, jumping around water features with toddlers, looking at rainbows and sparkly things. He is an unfiltered, uninhibited bundle of raw energy with many demands and some affection. He is loved, and we think he loves back – in his way.
Then it’s a long evening routine of happy bubble baths, medicine, fish tank watching, and lots of vodka for dad, in the hopes of sleeping forever (not going to happen). It is relentless.
All of these people, every one of them, is keeping shtum about something. Ben seems to feel that somewhere in there, in Jonah’s mind, are thoughts and dreams. Ben just wishes his son could share these with him, although he’s never shared much with his own father.
Granddad Georg is devoted to Jonah and has a remarkably calming effect. He tells his grandson all kinds of stories about his past, things that Ben has never heard. Jonah seems to like the sound of his voice, and as long as he has something to eat or twiddle, he stays placid. Jonah lets Granddad stroke his hair and be close, which he doesn’t always allow.
Jonah goes to a school which sends home a plastic bag of “steaming” soiled clothes every day – that’ how much care he gets.
Emma says, let’s separate and you take Jonah to live with your dad so the courts will look favourably on our case (broken family), and authorise Jonah to live at a wonderful special country residential centre / school for kids with autism. No more benevolent neglect by an under-resourced school, no more disruption for an autistic boy who needs continual, caring monitoring.
We meet other family friends who’ve known Ben and Emma and Jonah since the beginning, and we also hear a bit about Georg and his boyhood friend Maurice, who share a history going back to Nazi Germany, about which they have kept shtum.
At the end, we learn so much more than we could have expected or hoped for, and it is just wonderful! I absolutely love how we begin to understand some of the things people have kept to themselves and why.
The “autistic” part of the book is certainly real, and if you see a bit of the author’s profile at the link below, you’ll see he probably knows whereof he speaks. But the late discoveries of the novel are something else again. Terrific!
Thanks so much to NetGalley and Hachette Australia (and Jem Lester) for allowing me to read a copy of this for review.
Highly recommended!
**”Shtum” (or “schtum”). I looked it up at the Oxford Dictionary online to check my memory, and if you click on the little sound/volume symbol, a nice man will say it for you. http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/def...
Just listened to this great podcast with the author (April 2, 2016)
http://www.abc.net.au/radionational/p...
I remember the Yiddish word “shtum” as meaning to keep quiet about something, as in to keep it secret, to yourself, not just to be silent. The U sounds like “put”, rather than like “mum”. **
The author drops us smack in the middle of a family overwhelmed: a severely autistic boy of 10, Jonah, lives with Ben, his alcoholic (but not admitted to it yet) father, and Emma, his over-achieving lawyer mother. Ben seems to be the primary carer now.
They deal daily with cleaning poo off the walls or facing a kitchen that’s been ransacked, with cereal and bread strewn across a floor covered with burst packets of chips and jam if they aren’t quick enough to foresee his needs.
We’re treated to a lot of those scenes, but that’s the point. This is not an occasional tantrum, this is the family’s daily life and Jonah’s regular behaviour. Ben does a pretty good job of having apples and chips and bread always handy, but sometimes Jonah beats him to it, like a puppy let off a leash – but he’s getting big, and he bites and kicks and it’s getting dangerous.
This child is happy in a park, chasing leaves, jumping around water features with toddlers, looking at rainbows and sparkly things. He is an unfiltered, uninhibited bundle of raw energy with many demands and some affection. He is loved, and we think he loves back – in his way.
Then it’s a long evening routine of happy bubble baths, medicine, fish tank watching, and lots of vodka for dad, in the hopes of sleeping forever (not going to happen). It is relentless.
All of these people, every one of them, is keeping shtum about something. Ben seems to feel that somewhere in there, in Jonah’s mind, are thoughts and dreams. Ben just wishes his son could share these with him, although he’s never shared much with his own father.
Granddad Georg is devoted to Jonah and has a remarkably calming effect. He tells his grandson all kinds of stories about his past, things that Ben has never heard. Jonah seems to like the sound of his voice, and as long as he has something to eat or twiddle, he stays placid. Jonah lets Granddad stroke his hair and be close, which he doesn’t always allow.
Jonah goes to a school which sends home a plastic bag of “steaming” soiled clothes every day – that’ how much care he gets.
Emma says, let’s separate and you take Jonah to live with your dad so the courts will look favourably on our case (broken family), and authorise Jonah to live at a wonderful special country residential centre / school for kids with autism. No more benevolent neglect by an under-resourced school, no more disruption for an autistic boy who needs continual, caring monitoring.
We meet other family friends who’ve known Ben and Emma and Jonah since the beginning, and we also hear a bit about Georg and his boyhood friend Maurice, who share a history going back to Nazi Germany, about which they have kept shtum.
At the end, we learn so much more than we could have expected or hoped for, and it is just wonderful! I absolutely love how we begin to understand some of the things people have kept to themselves and why.
The “autistic” part of the book is certainly real, and if you see a bit of the author’s profile at the link below, you’ll see he probably knows whereof he speaks. But the late discoveries of the novel are something else again. Terrific!
Thanks so much to NetGalley and Hachette Australia (and Jem Lester) for allowing me to read a copy of this for review.
Highly recommended!
**”Shtum” (or “schtum”). I looked it up at the Oxford Dictionary online to check my memory, and if you click on the little sound/volume symbol, a nice man will say it for you. http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/def...
Just listened to this great podcast with the author (April 2, 2016)
http://www.abc.net.au/radionational/p...
October 14, 2015
SHTUM by Jem Lester
Ben Jewell has hit breaking point. His ten-year-old son Jonah has severe autism and Ben and his wife, Emma, are struggling to cope.
When Ben and Emma fake a separation - a strategic decision to further Jonah's case in an upcoming tribunal - Ben and Jonah move in with Georg, Ben's elderly father. In a small house in North London, three generations of men - one who can't talk; two who won't - are thrown together.
As Ben battles single fatherhood, a string of well-meaning social workers and his own demons, he learns some difficult home truths. Jonah, blissful in his innocence, becomes the prism through which all the complicated strands of personal identity, family history and misunderstanding are finally untangled.
Perfect for fans of David Nicholls, THE SHOCK OF THE FALL and THE CURIOUS INCIDENT OF THE DOG IN THE NIGHT-TIME.
OMG, I have laughed and cried and cried whilst laughing and am writing this review with tears running down my face. Simply charming, beautiful and gut wrenching. This would appeal to anyone who is a parent or has a parent! Told from the point of view of Ben a 30-something father of a severely autistic boy, this book grabs your heart strings, pulls them sideaways and then snaps them back! This will stay with me for a long time. JUST STUNNING!
Ben Jewell has hit breaking point. His ten-year-old son Jonah has severe autism and Ben and his wife, Emma, are struggling to cope.
When Ben and Emma fake a separation - a strategic decision to further Jonah's case in an upcoming tribunal - Ben and Jonah move in with Georg, Ben's elderly father. In a small house in North London, three generations of men - one who can't talk; two who won't - are thrown together.
As Ben battles single fatherhood, a string of well-meaning social workers and his own demons, he learns some difficult home truths. Jonah, blissful in his innocence, becomes the prism through which all the complicated strands of personal identity, family history and misunderstanding are finally untangled.
Perfect for fans of David Nicholls, THE SHOCK OF THE FALL and THE CURIOUS INCIDENT OF THE DOG IN THE NIGHT-TIME.
OMG, I have laughed and cried and cried whilst laughing and am writing this review with tears running down my face. Simply charming, beautiful and gut wrenching. This would appeal to anyone who is a parent or has a parent! Told from the point of view of Ben a 30-something father of a severely autistic boy, this book grabs your heart strings, pulls them sideaways and then snaps them back! This will stay with me for a long time. JUST STUNNING!
September 27, 2017
Cheap liquor and soiled nappies - I would say that this is an unvarnished fiction about life as a caretaker to a severely Autistic child, but that would be lacking on two fronts: (1) unvarnished seems wholly insufficient - perhaps gritty and chaffing (and poo smeared) gets the point across a bit better, (2) this isn't just about a man who is a caretaker, this father is an alcoholic, self-loathing man-child that is lost in life, the pressures of caring for an Autistic son just exacerbates his many problems.
Ben Jewell is the father to Jonah, the aforementioned severely Autistic young man. Ben's life is in shambles; he drinks too much, he shirks responsibilities, his marriage is in doubt, and his relationship with his father is enigmatic. Being Jonah's caretaker would be difficult for any parent, he is mute (or shtum if you prefer), unpredictable, incontinent, and occasionally violent, but he is also a sweet boy and Ben loves him very much. Ben's love for his son is the basis for every positive characteristic we see of him and possibly the sole catalyst that can get him to straighten out.
Ben and Jonah go to live with Ben's father, Georg, who is oddly silent (or again shtum) about their familial past. Their relationship is fraught with unanswered questions, resentments, and insecurities, but Georg is wonderful when it comes to Jonah. The dynamics between the three-generations becomes the real heart of the novel.
To me it would appear that Lester set out to demonstrate the daily frustrations, the isolation, and the helplessness of dealing with a severely Autistic child, which he does exceedingly well. This book is sad, funny, and endearing in turns. I do feel like there are elements added onto the the primary story that while interesting in their own right were superfluous and ended up wrapping up the themes a little too tidily for my taste - this was largely a messy, but determined story line, it did not need to end with a neat bow.
Ben Jewell is the father to Jonah, the aforementioned severely Autistic young man. Ben's life is in shambles; he drinks too much, he shirks responsibilities, his marriage is in doubt, and his relationship with his father is enigmatic. Being Jonah's caretaker would be difficult for any parent, he is mute (or shtum if you prefer), unpredictable, incontinent, and occasionally violent, but he is also a sweet boy and Ben loves him very much. Ben's love for his son is the basis for every positive characteristic we see of him and possibly the sole catalyst that can get him to straighten out.
Ben and Jonah go to live with Ben's father, Georg, who is oddly silent (or again shtum) about their familial past. Their relationship is fraught with unanswered questions, resentments, and insecurities, but Georg is wonderful when it comes to Jonah. The dynamics between the three-generations becomes the real heart of the novel.
To me it would appear that Lester set out to demonstrate the daily frustrations, the isolation, and the helplessness of dealing with a severely Autistic child, which he does exceedingly well. This book is sad, funny, and endearing in turns. I do feel like there are elements added onto the the primary story that while interesting in their own right were superfluous and ended up wrapping up the themes a little too tidily for my taste - this was largely a messy, but determined story line, it did not need to end with a neat bow.
March 7, 2016
This is an extremely moving novel about Ben and Emma Jewell and their ten year old son, Jonah. When we meet the family they are, like so many parents, considering what secondary school would best meet Jonah’s needs. However, their search for an education is more complicated than most parents, as Jonah is autistic. My nephew is also, like Jonah, severely autistic and so much of this novel resonated with me. Ben and Emma want Jonah to have a place at a residential school for children with autism and, when he is offered something local and which they consider totally unsuitable, they decide to take their case to a tribunal.
This novel really begins when Emma tells Ben that their case will be looked at more favourably if they pretend to split up. Ben moves in with his elderly father in Muswell Hill and Jonah goes with him. Oddly, this book is also set in a part of London I know well and so much about it spoke to me directly that it is almost difficult for me to review this dispassionately, but I will try.
The trio of characters that are Ben, his father and Jonah work brilliantly. Jonah does not speak and Ben has difficulty talking to his father. In fact, Ben has several problems. He is supposed to be running his father’s business, hiring out catering equipment, but, it is soon apparent that he has a major drinking problem and tends to spend most of his working hours in the pub. He has financial issues, marital problems and a whole host of unresolved feelings about his son that he has not come to terms with.
Although this sounds like a rather depressing read, it is actually very funny in places. Much of the humour comes from Ben’s elderly father, Georg, and his friend, Maurice. Jonah is touchingly written, as is his parents – and grandfather’s - love for him. As the novel progresses, Ben has to come to terms with his feelings, he uncovers his father’s past and decisions are made about Jonah’s future. You really do get the sense how financially and emotionally draining it is to look after Jonah and yet how hard his family are trying to do the best for him. I really think this would be a wonderful choice for a reading group, with so much to discuss. Lastly, I received a copy of this book from the publisher, via NetGalley, for review.
This novel really begins when Emma tells Ben that their case will be looked at more favourably if they pretend to split up. Ben moves in with his elderly father in Muswell Hill and Jonah goes with him. Oddly, this book is also set in a part of London I know well and so much about it spoke to me directly that it is almost difficult for me to review this dispassionately, but I will try.
The trio of characters that are Ben, his father and Jonah work brilliantly. Jonah does not speak and Ben has difficulty talking to his father. In fact, Ben has several problems. He is supposed to be running his father’s business, hiring out catering equipment, but, it is soon apparent that he has a major drinking problem and tends to spend most of his working hours in the pub. He has financial issues, marital problems and a whole host of unresolved feelings about his son that he has not come to terms with.
Although this sounds like a rather depressing read, it is actually very funny in places. Much of the humour comes from Ben’s elderly father, Georg, and his friend, Maurice. Jonah is touchingly written, as is his parents – and grandfather’s - love for him. As the novel progresses, Ben has to come to terms with his feelings, he uncovers his father’s past and decisions are made about Jonah’s future. You really do get the sense how financially and emotionally draining it is to look after Jonah and yet how hard his family are trying to do the best for him. I really think this would be a wonderful choice for a reading group, with so much to discuss. Lastly, I received a copy of this book from the publisher, via NetGalley, for review.
December 18, 2015
This is a heart breaking tale about a family trying to cope with having a son with severe autism. It covers the impact having a child with autism has on both parents, along with their struggle to get support from social services.
Shtum is told from the point of view of the father, Ben. This story is definitely dominated by male characters, as the most prominent characters are Ben, his autistic ten year old son, Jonah, and Ben’s father, Georg. This made for a very interesting angle to the story. Jonah doesn’t speak at all, and Ben and Georg don’t seem to be the best of communicators. In a way this was good, in that their own lack of ability to communicate felt like it reflected Jonah’s own inability to communicate with the world around him. On the other hand, I think it made the book less emotional for me.
My heart ached for all the main characters, although I did go through differing stages of irritation and frustration at both parents throughout the story. Unlike some readers, although I felt very sad about certain situations, I never cried. I’m not sure if it was because I never felt like I truly knew either of the parents, plus, I sort of had the feeling of how could I get upset for a child who didn’t seem to care? I’m not a mother, so I was unable to project my own personal feelings for a child of my own onto Jonah, so I could only take him in the way he was shown to me, and he seemed happy enough with his life.
I did really enjoy this story, and found it exceptionally hard to put down. It’s one of those stories that just keeps on giving, and never provides you with a comfortable place to take a break. My only criticisms, are that I probably would have liked to have felt more connected to the parents, and I thought the very end part of the story which covered quite a different situation, felt somewhat disjointed from the rest of the story, almost as if I had begun to read another book, and that it was a whole different story of its own.
I suspect this book will be a huge success and I think it will provoke a lot of discussion after it is published next year. This is a good thing, if it increases the understanding of autism and the impact that it has on those involved.
I would like to thank the publisher, Orion Publishing Group, for allowing me a copy of this book via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
Shtum is told from the point of view of the father, Ben. This story is definitely dominated by male characters, as the most prominent characters are Ben, his autistic ten year old son, Jonah, and Ben’s father, Georg. This made for a very interesting angle to the story. Jonah doesn’t speak at all, and Ben and Georg don’t seem to be the best of communicators. In a way this was good, in that their own lack of ability to communicate felt like it reflected Jonah’s own inability to communicate with the world around him. On the other hand, I think it made the book less emotional for me.
My heart ached for all the main characters, although I did go through differing stages of irritation and frustration at both parents throughout the story. Unlike some readers, although I felt very sad about certain situations, I never cried. I’m not sure if it was because I never felt like I truly knew either of the parents, plus, I sort of had the feeling of how could I get upset for a child who didn’t seem to care? I’m not a mother, so I was unable to project my own personal feelings for a child of my own onto Jonah, so I could only take him in the way he was shown to me, and he seemed happy enough with his life.
I did really enjoy this story, and found it exceptionally hard to put down. It’s one of those stories that just keeps on giving, and never provides you with a comfortable place to take a break. My only criticisms, are that I probably would have liked to have felt more connected to the parents, and I thought the very end part of the story which covered quite a different situation, felt somewhat disjointed from the rest of the story, almost as if I had begun to read another book, and that it was a whole different story of its own.
I suspect this book will be a huge success and I think it will provoke a lot of discussion after it is published next year. This is a good thing, if it increases the understanding of autism and the impact that it has on those involved.
I would like to thank the publisher, Orion Publishing Group, for allowing me a copy of this book via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
September 15, 2017
Shtum = to keep quiet, dumb....to keep secrets inside; not to tell
What a lovely story! These flawed characters all crept into my heart. It's going to be awhile before I can let go of Jonah.
The author was masterful in taking a stressed family and showing the stories behind the people, what shaped them, what motivated them and, always, the inner selves that are kept shtum.
This story left me laughing, sad, worried for everyone, sad and sometimes frustrated. But slowly, I moved closer to the characters and, in the end, didn't want to leave them.
What a lovely story! These flawed characters all crept into my heart. It's going to be awhile before I can let go of Jonah.
The author was masterful in taking a stressed family and showing the stories behind the people, what shaped them, what motivated them and, always, the inner selves that are kept shtum.
This story left me laughing, sad, worried for everyone, sad and sometimes frustrated. But slowly, I moved closer to the characters and, in the end, didn't want to leave them.
July 5, 2016
Thoroughly enjoyed this book. It has been recommended by so many people so when I got the opportunity to have a read, I grabbed it and was so pleasantly surprised.
It's a heart-warming story and very funny, but the heart-breaking sadness of it all really grabbed me. It's sad in a nice way (if that makes sense) but you could feel the emotions all the way through the book. I felt as if I was walking next to Ben as I read. The amazing writing style of Jem Lester really draws you in and made this story so readable.
This book will stick with me for some time whilst the frog in my throat will disappear.
Full praise and recommendation. 5*
It's a heart-warming story and very funny, but the heart-breaking sadness of it all really grabbed me. It's sad in a nice way (if that makes sense) but you could feel the emotions all the way through the book. I felt as if I was walking next to Ben as I read. The amazing writing style of Jem Lester really draws you in and made this story so readable.
This book will stick with me for some time whilst the frog in my throat will disappear.
Full praise and recommendation. 5*
December 28, 2015
I haven't been as emotionally involved in a book for a long time. It is obvious when reading this gem of a book that the author knows about raising a child with profound autism; the impact that this can have on relationships and friendships is captured perfectly as is the fight to get the best provision for your child.
I guess the above makes the book sound serious and highbrow - if so then my apologies; it is a laugh through the tears book, one that twists your heart and leaves you bereft that it's finished. Shtum is a tribute to the love between a father and son, the revealing of a heartbreaking family history, broken relationships, self loathing and recovery, all taking place during a battle with the under-resourced LEA over the best educational provision for ten year old Jonah.
I loved Jem Lester's writing style, his ability to inject love and humour into the saddest situations and the cast of characters who were rich and believable. I fell hook line and sinker in love with Georg, who is now up there with my favourite ever book characters. I devoured this book in one day - even crying off a dinner date to finish it! Many thanks to NetGalley and Orion Publishing for the ARC - Everyone needs to Pre-order this one, I want the world to meet and love Georg!! - due April 7th 2016 - A MUST READ 5 stars
I guess the above makes the book sound serious and highbrow - if so then my apologies; it is a laugh through the tears book, one that twists your heart and leaves you bereft that it's finished. Shtum is a tribute to the love between a father and son, the revealing of a heartbreaking family history, broken relationships, self loathing and recovery, all taking place during a battle with the under-resourced LEA over the best educational provision for ten year old Jonah.
I loved Jem Lester's writing style, his ability to inject love and humour into the saddest situations and the cast of characters who were rich and believable. I fell hook line and sinker in love with Georg, who is now up there with my favourite ever book characters. I devoured this book in one day - even crying off a dinner date to finish it! Many thanks to NetGalley and Orion Publishing for the ARC - Everyone needs to Pre-order this one, I want the world to meet and love Georg!! - due April 7th 2016 - A MUST READ 5 stars
January 16, 2016
Shtum is a terrific book; it’s involving, very touching and an emotional story that is a delight to read. Some of it can be pretty painful, difficult reading and it may occasionally leave a tear in your eye, but there is humour too and in the end it leaves you satisfied and pleased you discovered it. A story touched with love, sacrifice and determination that is ultimately uplifting and thoroughly readable. This is one of those books that is easy to recommend and memorable once you've finished it.
Ben and his wife Emma struggle to bring up their autistic son Jonah. When they reach breaking point they decide that the only solution is full-time residential care for him. The local council disagree and want him at home with his family and a ‘normal’ special school. The council don’t want the huge cost of the change either. Emma persuades Ben a fake separation will enhance their chances of defeating the council’s view.
Ben and Jonah move in with his father and so begins an emotional ride as much about father and son as it is about Jonah. Ben misses Emma and puts everything into his fight with the council while dealing with his own demons and discovering the history of his family’s past.
The financial and emotional drain on Ben is enormous and the author Jem Lester manages to involve the reader with all the mixed feelings of success and failure along the way. Ben’s frustration with social workers, experts, specialists and teachers is palpable, but well written and interesting. The moments of humour and some touching scenes make the book complete and this is definitely worth a read. Certainly a book to look out for in 2016 and one I’m sure will be a big success. Thank you to the publisher for an advanced copy in return for an honest review.
May 28, 2017
4.5 stars
I finished this book a few days ago and couldn't decide whether to give it 4 or 5 stars. Shtum is about JJ a 10 year old severely autistic boy, who doesn't speak, throws tantrums, is still in a nappy, needs to be dressed and bathed, and when not looking can trash a kitchen in minutes. The book is also about relationships, the effect JJ has had on Ben his dad and Emma his mum and also Georg his grandfather. It's funny, sad, annoying, at times you just want someone to shake JJ's parent, I enjoyed this more than I thought I was going to. Recommended.
I finished this book a few days ago and couldn't decide whether to give it 4 or 5 stars. Shtum is about JJ a 10 year old severely autistic boy, who doesn't speak, throws tantrums, is still in a nappy, needs to be dressed and bathed, and when not looking can trash a kitchen in minutes. The book is also about relationships, the effect JJ has had on Ben his dad and Emma his mum and also Georg his grandfather. It's funny, sad, annoying, at times you just want someone to shake JJ's parent, I enjoyed this more than I thought I was going to. Recommended.
May 14, 2017
Interesanta, teška, obiteljska priča za koju sam imala osjećaj da je napisana zato jer je netko rekao da bi trebalo. Izostali su osjećaji, suosjećanje... Jako hladno, suho.. :-/
Pred kraj kao da je pripovjedač otpusio kočnicu i dopustio sebi da se ipak neki osjećaji, iskreni osjećaji osjete. Žao mi je što se to nije desilo od početka.
Pred kraj kao da je pripovjedač otpusio kočnicu i dopustio sebi da se ipak neki osjećaji, iskreni osjećaji osjete. Žao mi je što se to nije desilo od početka.
February 4, 2016
Many fiction narratives involving autism tell it from the point of view of autistic characters. Not many have been as successful in staying with me as much as The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, with its wide-eyed clarity and distinctive train of thought of an autistic child. Since then, I always approach books with comparisons to Mark Haddon's with a little caution and trepidation. Glad I am when such a comparison lives up to expectations, and in "Shtum" specifically, surprising me with the narrating voice it takes - Ben Jewell, the dad to an autistic son, Jonah.
"Shtum" is equally filled with the uncovering of a family lineage history and the tackling of a contemporary societal issue; it revolves around three generations of men and how they cope with the youngest boy's severe autism while trying to mend past relationships, create present bonds, and envision future ties. It's an eye-opener on the education options for children on the autistic spectrum disorder (ASD), and the legal technicalities and costs involved in the bigger picture, albeit a very UK-centric one. By and large because of this and the certain quality the narrative has, "Shtum" reads very much like British fiction but the core messages are universal. It's a full-out honest and heartbreaking portrayal of what it means to be a parent, what it means to love one's child unconditionally, and what it means to fight for what's best for one's family, and ultimately (and hopefully) oneself. You'll shed some tears, guaranteed. There is a part in the book where Ben tries to stay present in the moment for Jonah's tribunal but can't help fall in and out of it as he flashes back to memories filled with regrets and what ifs, and you can't help but want to scream at him yet sympathize him.
For me, "Shtum" was a mix of The Curious Incident and The Storied Life of A.J. Fikry for its content and sentimentality respectively (throw in a bit of Transparent, the television series, for its use of epigenetics and dark comedy on dysfunctional relationships). I was unsure where I stood with the book through bits of it, but what a stunningly bittersweet sprint towards the end, after a marathon that had its fair share of ups and downs. There were times I yearned to see it from Jonah's perspective, there were times the multiple threads of the story felt frazzled, but the sincerity and personal experiences of author Jem Lester shone through and brought it all together. Out of the word shtum, which in Yiddish means "voiceless," Lester has definitely found a voice for fathers, and sons, and indirectly, autistics.
"Shtum" is equally filled with the uncovering of a family lineage history and the tackling of a contemporary societal issue; it revolves around three generations of men and how they cope with the youngest boy's severe autism while trying to mend past relationships, create present bonds, and envision future ties. It's an eye-opener on the education options for children on the autistic spectrum disorder (ASD), and the legal technicalities and costs involved in the bigger picture, albeit a very UK-centric one. By and large because of this and the certain quality the narrative has, "Shtum" reads very much like British fiction but the core messages are universal. It's a full-out honest and heartbreaking portrayal of what it means to be a parent, what it means to love one's child unconditionally, and what it means to fight for what's best for one's family, and ultimately (and hopefully) oneself. You'll shed some tears, guaranteed. There is a part in the book where Ben tries to stay present in the moment for Jonah's tribunal but can't help fall in and out of it as he flashes back to memories filled with regrets and what ifs, and you can't help but want to scream at him yet sympathize him.
For me, "Shtum" was a mix of The Curious Incident and The Storied Life of A.J. Fikry for its content and sentimentality respectively (throw in a bit of Transparent, the television series, for its use of epigenetics and dark comedy on dysfunctional relationships). I was unsure where I stood with the book through bits of it, but what a stunningly bittersweet sprint towards the end, after a marathon that had its fair share of ups and downs. There were times I yearned to see it from Jonah's perspective, there were times the multiple threads of the story felt frazzled, but the sincerity and personal experiences of author Jem Lester shone through and brought it all together. Out of the word shtum, which in Yiddish means "voiceless," Lester has definitely found a voice for fathers, and sons, and indirectly, autistics.
January 18, 2017
In brief - Gritty and emotional and funny
In full
Shtum is the story of Jonah, a severely autistic 10 year old, his father Ben, his mother Emma and Georg his grandfather. Dealing with Jonah has taken a toll on Ben and Emma's relationship. Trying to get Jonah into a suitable educational establishment is proving hard and his parents decide to separate to make him a priority case. It is obvious from the start that Jonah is at the severe end of the autistic spectrum. It is equally obvious that all is not well in Ben's life generally.
I found the writing here often deceptively light. Without recourse to the author's notes you quickly realise that this is written by someone who has dealt with autism. The light writing style also managed to convey the emotions effectively for me. While it can be quite a dark read at times there is also humour here. I loved Georg as a character - he is very Jewish in that dry wit sense. While the story is primarily about Jonah's problems it does also concern other relationships. Ben gets to know his father far better and probably himself too. If you think Ben's life is troubled at the start there is more to come.
I enjoyed "A Boy Made of Blocks" which is a similar story in some senses. However, having read this, the other one feels a bit "sugar coated" while this one seems very gritty. There is a feeling that no punches are pulled here. I'd like to thanks the author for the statements of both parents to the tribunal. They are some of the more moving writing I've read recently - thanks - and I imagine there will be damp eyes as people read this part and the book generally. I'd recommend this book to anyone who the idea appeals to. It's an easy enough read with plenty of power and some smiles in it too.
Note - I received an advance digital copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for a fair review
http://viewson.org.uk/fiction/shtum-b...
In full
Shtum is the story of Jonah, a severely autistic 10 year old, his father Ben, his mother Emma and Georg his grandfather. Dealing with Jonah has taken a toll on Ben and Emma's relationship. Trying to get Jonah into a suitable educational establishment is proving hard and his parents decide to separate to make him a priority case. It is obvious from the start that Jonah is at the severe end of the autistic spectrum. It is equally obvious that all is not well in Ben's life generally.
I found the writing here often deceptively light. Without recourse to the author's notes you quickly realise that this is written by someone who has dealt with autism. The light writing style also managed to convey the emotions effectively for me. While it can be quite a dark read at times there is also humour here. I loved Georg as a character - he is very Jewish in that dry wit sense. While the story is primarily about Jonah's problems it does also concern other relationships. Ben gets to know his father far better and probably himself too. If you think Ben's life is troubled at the start there is more to come.
I enjoyed "A Boy Made of Blocks" which is a similar story in some senses. However, having read this, the other one feels a bit "sugar coated" while this one seems very gritty. There is a feeling that no punches are pulled here. I'd like to thanks the author for the statements of both parents to the tribunal. They are some of the more moving writing I've read recently - thanks - and I imagine there will be damp eyes as people read this part and the book generally. I'd recommend this book to anyone who the idea appeals to. It's an easy enough read with plenty of power and some smiles in it too.
Note - I received an advance digital copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for a fair review
http://viewson.org.uk/fiction/shtum-b...
July 9, 2016
Ben is the father of Jonah, a severely autistic 10-year-old boy, and is struggling to cope with both this huge responsibility as a newly single parent to his son and pretty much every other responsibility in his life. Above all this is a book about father/son relationships. Jonah is incapable of both communicating effectively or showing affection, while at the same time Ben has never felt truly loved by his own father, Georg.
I was really moved to read as these three characters grew to understand each other. Georg and Jonah in particular were wonderful characters. Ben is never particularly likeable and it's clear that he has made some very poor decisions due to his lack of self-esteem and motivation, but it's easy enough for the reader to emphasise with him in this situation. My one compliant with the characterisation is that I felt that the female characters should have been a lot more involved in the plot. Emma, Ben's soon-to-be-ex, and Ben's mum (was she even named?) were portrayed as very one-dimensional in the few mentions we get of them, and I just don't believe that to be realistic in this situation or fair to these characters. I never really understood the relationship between Ben and Emma, and how it felt apart, because we are never really shown what they were like together early on or how they fit together as a couple. It makes it hard to sympathise with them when you don't really understand the hows and whys.
Overall, this was a simple, but very touching story on family life and the importance of communicating with one another.
I was really moved to read as these three characters grew to understand each other. Georg and Jonah in particular were wonderful characters. Ben is never particularly likeable and it's clear that he has made some very poor decisions due to his lack of self-esteem and motivation, but it's easy enough for the reader to emphasise with him in this situation. My one compliant with the characterisation is that I felt that the female characters should have been a lot more involved in the plot. Emma, Ben's soon-to-be-ex, and Ben's mum (was she even named?) were portrayed as very one-dimensional in the few mentions we get of them, and I just don't believe that to be realistic in this situation or fair to these characters. I never really understood the relationship between Ben and Emma, and how it felt apart, because we are never really shown what they were like together early on or how they fit together as a couple. It makes it hard to sympathise with them when you don't really understand the hows and whys.
Overall, this was a simple, but very touching story on family life and the importance of communicating with one another.
June 17, 2017
This is a 4.5 * book for me. It is the first time I have read a book about the everyday life and struggles an Autistic child has, particularly getting the care and special needs such a child requires and this story stresses the enormous burden such a struggle has on the parents and their relationship. The book is written from the point of view of the Father ( it lost a half star here, as the Father was just too self pitying and repetitive for my liking) It is at times witty, depressing, serious, sad yet also uplifting. It has given me a lot to think about.
December 21, 2017
I loved this book. This book reminds you how you can't judge people. You never really know what is going on. I didn't understand the mom's way of dealing until the end. I didn't understand the dad's way of drinking through everything until the end. This book makes you laugh and cry and I thing it did that at different moments for each reader. Definitely one of my favorite books this year!
March 5, 2021
دقیق یادم نیست کی خوندمش؛ از نمایشگاه کتاب امسال خریدم و تا به دستم رسید شروع و تمومش کردم، اما از خجالت خوندنش درست وسط نوشتن یک گزارش خیلی مهم، اینجا ثبتش نکردم.
داستان کتاب در مورد یک پسر یازده سالهی مبتلا به اوتیسمه. پسر دقیقا ته طیف قرار گرفته: در این یازده سال، نه حرفی زده، نه میتونه از خودش مراقبت کنه، نه با کسی ارتباط برقرار میکنه. به همین علت این کتاب شباهتی به ماجرای عجیب سگی در شب یا سری دکتر خوب نداره و بیشتر در مورد تبعات این شرایط برای پدر و مادر پسر و تلاششون برای فراهم کردن بهترینهاست؛ [با چاشنی هولوکاست :) اسم کتاب هم گویا عبریه].
در کل کتاب خوبیه، اما یک مقدار سنگین و درگیرکنندهست. مخصوصا من بدترین زمان ممکن رو برای خوندنش انتخاب کردم و چندین روز اعصابم به هم ریخته بود. اگر قصد خوندنش رو دارید، وسط نوشتن یک گزارش ششصد صفحهای شروعش نکنید.
ترجمه عاطفه هاشمی هم اوایل کتاب چندان دلچسب نیست، ولی رفته رفته بهتر میشه و کلا قابل تحمله.
داستان کتاب در مورد یک پسر یازده سالهی مبتلا به اوتیسمه. پسر دقیقا ته طیف قرار گرفته: در این یازده سال، نه حرفی زده، نه میتونه از خودش مراقبت کنه، نه با کسی ارتباط برقرار میکنه. به همین علت این کتاب شباهتی به ماجرای عجیب سگی در شب یا سری دکتر خوب نداره و بیشتر در مورد تبعات این شرایط برای پدر و مادر پسر و تلاششون برای فراهم کردن بهترینهاست؛ [با چاشنی هولوکاست :) اسم کتاب هم گویا عبریه].
در کل کتاب خوبیه، اما یک مقدار سنگین و درگیرکنندهست. مخصوصا من بدترین زمان ممکن رو برای خوندنش انتخاب کردم و چندین روز اعصابم به هم ریخته بود. اگر قصد خوندنش رو دارید، وسط نوشتن یک گزارش ششصد صفحهای شروعش نکنید.
ترجمه عاطفه هاشمی هم اوایل کتاب چندان دلچسب نیست، ولی رفته رفته بهتر میشه و کلا قابل تحمله.
November 17, 2015
OH MY GOD. THIS IS AMAZING AND FUNNY AND HEARTBREAKING AND TOTALLY IN NEED OF CAPS LOCK.
Jeez, I laughed, I cried, I wanted to throw the book at the wall and then I wanted to scream. I just can't put into words how much I loved this. Jem Lester has written something that MUST be compulsory reading. It is sublime and perfect and real. My read of 2016. And I don't even care it's only the third 2016 book I've read so far.
Jeez, I laughed, I cried, I wanted to throw the book at the wall and then I wanted to scream. I just can't put into words how much I loved this. Jem Lester has written something that MUST be compulsory reading. It is sublime and perfect and real. My read of 2016. And I don't even care it's only the third 2016 book I've read so far.
October 26, 2015
As we meet Ben Jewell and his family, it seems that everything is conspiring against him. His stroppy father hasn't spoken to him in months, his employee at the party service he runs appears to be obstinate and rude, and Ben's wife Emma is suggesting a "pretend separation" to get the Local Education Authority to sympathise with a difficult home situation and place their profoundly autistic son, Jonah, at an expensive, more suitable school. Soon enough, Ben realises that there isn't much "pretend" going on with the separation.
Oh dear - poor Ben! Or not? He pulled the wool over my eyes for a while.
Written in the first person narrative, I got to see everything only from Ben's perspective, whether it was his marriage, his issues at work or the fraught relationship with his father, Georg (a cracking character, and someone I will sorely miss). Soon enough it dawned on me that perhaps Ben might have a "few issues" himself, and that maybe his wife, Emma, wasn't quite as callous as I initially thought she was.
I am guessing that the author, Jem Lester, shares more than one of Ben Jewell's life experiences, or else he has simply the most amazing imagination when it comes to raising and living with a low-functioning autistic child. The daily struggles with a gorgeous but challenging autistic child is described in vivid detail, and with such brutal honesty, that it makes me admire the parents and family members even more (and I'm already a big fan of people like Rupert Isaacson who wrote his memoir The Horse Boy: A Father's Quest to Heal His Son). At university I studied autism & theory of mind under Simon Baron-Cohen, and have had an ongoing interest ever since, even though I never pursued the clinical psychologist career I had originally had in mind. Living Ben Jewell's life vicariously reminded me why I had wanted to become a clinical psychologist in the first place, but it also reminded me that there is lots of bureaucracy, power struggles and ridiculous amount of paperwork to contend with, that ultimately I would not have lasted five minutes in that role.
Jem Lester does an excellent job highlighting those struggles, showing the hoops that families have to jump through, and how one can lose hope whilst clutching at straws, but he manages to do this whilst making the reader laugh. Out loud. There is so much great humour in this book that I won't remember it (only) for its sad, heart-breaking bits, but also for the very funny situations and dialogues.
This is a brilliant first novel, one that I could not stop reading until I got to about 90%, and suddenly it completely lost momentum for me. The author decided to give us the "what happened after the big event" breakdown and also tied up a few loose ends of the backstory to one of the characters. Everything got sewn up and wrapped up into a package, a bit too neatly for my liking. I think I would have preferred less telling and more showing. That said, I did read a galley, so perhaps the final edition due to be published in February 2016 will have a more "polished" ending. But even if not, this is a book I will be highly recommending to quite a few of my friends - it's wonderful, and I’ll happily give it five stars despite my niggles.
Oh dear - poor Ben! Or not? He pulled the wool over my eyes for a while.
Written in the first person narrative, I got to see everything only from Ben's perspective, whether it was his marriage, his issues at work or the fraught relationship with his father, Georg (a cracking character, and someone I will sorely miss). Soon enough it dawned on me that perhaps Ben might have a "few issues" himself, and that maybe his wife, Emma, wasn't quite as callous as I initially thought she was.
I am guessing that the author, Jem Lester, shares more than one of Ben Jewell's life experiences, or else he has simply the most amazing imagination when it comes to raising and living with a low-functioning autistic child. The daily struggles with a gorgeous but challenging autistic child is described in vivid detail, and with such brutal honesty, that it makes me admire the parents and family members even more (and I'm already a big fan of people like Rupert Isaacson who wrote his memoir The Horse Boy: A Father's Quest to Heal His Son). At university I studied autism & theory of mind under Simon Baron-Cohen, and have had an ongoing interest ever since, even though I never pursued the clinical psychologist career I had originally had in mind. Living Ben Jewell's life vicariously reminded me why I had wanted to become a clinical psychologist in the first place, but it also reminded me that there is lots of bureaucracy, power struggles and ridiculous amount of paperwork to contend with, that ultimately I would not have lasted five minutes in that role.
Jem Lester does an excellent job highlighting those struggles, showing the hoops that families have to jump through, and how one can lose hope whilst clutching at straws, but he manages to do this whilst making the reader laugh. Out loud. There is so much great humour in this book that I won't remember it (only) for its sad, heart-breaking bits, but also for the very funny situations and dialogues.
This is a brilliant first novel, one that I could not stop reading until I got to about 90%, and suddenly it completely lost momentum for me. The author decided to give us the "what happened after the big event" breakdown and also tied up a few loose ends of the backstory to one of the characters. Everything got sewn up and wrapped up into a package, a bit too neatly for my liking. I think I would have preferred less telling and more showing. That said, I did read a galley, so perhaps the final edition due to be published in February 2016 will have a more "polished" ending. But even if not, this is a book I will be highly recommending to quite a few of my friends - it's wonderful, and I’ll happily give it five stars despite my niggles.
April 5, 2023
I’m so damned tired of autism (and other disabilities) being used as a plot device. I’m so tired of autistic characters existing only to propel the narrative of the allistic protagonists. I’m tired of stories featuring allistic parents who are just so gosh darn proud of themselves for loving their autistic kids, like that’s a real achievement, all things considered.
Kids like Jonah don’t exist. I don’t mean that there aren’t any autistic kids who are nonverbal, incontinent, physically aggressive, and learning disabled - I mean that the kid in this story is a cipher, and despite what A$ keeps saying, real autistics aren’t ciphers. We’re not puzzle pieces. We don’t exist for you to learn something about yourself.
I get that being a caretaker for a disabled child can be overwhelming. I get that it can be cathartic for parents of kids who act like Jonah to see their worst thoughts expressed on the page. I get that those parents are human, and sometimes they snap, and seeing Ben in this book hit his ten year old son and tell him to fuck off, or seeing Emma tearfully admit to seriously considering murdering her child, might resonate with their own darkest and most shameful impulses or something, but Jesus Christ already.
These parents might feel their stories are under-told, but I promise you, they’re not. They’re everywhere. I picked this book up thinking that the tag line (“Ten year old Jonah can’t speak. But it’s time his family listened.”) meant that the book would be about actually listening to an autistic person, but instead it was about this kid’s family using his silence to hear each other. The kid himself was largely dismissed as unable to understand what his parents were saying. Which is the fundamental problem of so many of these narratives - the assumption that your autistic kid doesn’t understand you when you tell them to fuck off, and that they’re not listening when you admit to thinking about killing them.
If, like me, you picked up this book thinking you’d get to hear an autistic perspective for once, for the love of all things holy don’t just swap it out for the dog in the night book or some other allistic would-be “insider’s” view. Instead, read Naoki Higashida’s The Reason I Jump, or Corinne Duyvis’ On the Edge of Darkness, or Gemma Files’ Experimental Film, or any other book by an actual autistic person. We’re out there. And whether or not we’re verbal, we can speak quite well for ourselves, thank you.
Kids like Jonah don’t exist. I don’t mean that there aren’t any autistic kids who are nonverbal, incontinent, physically aggressive, and learning disabled - I mean that the kid in this story is a cipher, and despite what A$ keeps saying, real autistics aren’t ciphers. We’re not puzzle pieces. We don’t exist for you to learn something about yourself.
I get that being a caretaker for a disabled child can be overwhelming. I get that it can be cathartic for parents of kids who act like Jonah to see their worst thoughts expressed on the page. I get that those parents are human, and sometimes they snap, and seeing Ben in this book hit his ten year old son and tell him to fuck off, or seeing Emma tearfully admit to seriously considering murdering her child, might resonate with their own darkest and most shameful impulses or something, but Jesus Christ already.
These parents might feel their stories are under-told, but I promise you, they’re not. They’re everywhere. I picked this book up thinking that the tag line (“Ten year old Jonah can’t speak. But it’s time his family listened.”) meant that the book would be about actually listening to an autistic person, but instead it was about this kid’s family using his silence to hear each other. The kid himself was largely dismissed as unable to understand what his parents were saying. Which is the fundamental problem of so many of these narratives - the assumption that your autistic kid doesn’t understand you when you tell them to fuck off, and that they’re not listening when you admit to thinking about killing them.
If, like me, you picked up this book thinking you’d get to hear an autistic perspective for once, for the love of all things holy don’t just swap it out for the dog in the night book or some other allistic would-be “insider’s” view. Instead, read Naoki Higashida’s The Reason I Jump, or Corinne Duyvis’ On the Edge of Darkness, or Gemma Files’ Experimental Film, or any other book by an actual autistic person. We’re out there. And whether or not we’re verbal, we can speak quite well for ourselves, thank you.
February 9, 2017
I was already quite fed up with all of the movie-of-the-week kinds of books about autistic children and their long-suffering parents before I came to this book, but this one is nothing like anything you’ve read before about the subject. There are an autistic child here and long-suffering parents, and the story revolves around the decision of these parents to fake breaking up in order to cut through bureaucracy, so that their son can get accepted to a school that specializes in his condition. But this novel has so much more in it. It is a gritty, angry and brutally honest book about relationships between husbands and wives, between parents and their children, whatever their ages may be, between men, and between us and ourselves. It’s ultra-realistic, dark and heart-breaking, but above all — truly brilliant. A must-read.
September 4, 2021
The protagonist in this book is an autistic boy called Jonah. Jonah has many needs and his parents only want the best for him. Seeing an expensive special education being important for Jonah’s future, the funding and the bureaucracy around gaining this are a key to the main changes in their lives. The three adults Ben (father), Emma (mother) and Georg (grandfather) all play their part however, their own issues and sometimes lack of true communication causes frustration. “Shtum” (silent, non communicative), could be as much about them as is Jonah who does not have the ability to talk.
A real eye opener into to dealing with autism, but written with authenticity and a lot of heart. Well worth reading.
A real eye opener into to dealing with autism, but written with authenticity and a lot of heart. Well worth reading.
September 21, 2017
'Shtum' is a Yiddish word for silence, or keeping secrets. Everyone in the Jewell family is keeping secrets. Everyone, except Jonah. Jonah is profoundly autistic. He stopped speaking before the age of three, but he communicates his needs very well. He paints the walls with feces. He grabs food with his hands from everyone's plates. He can't read or write. He can't tell time. When he doesn't get what he wants, he bangs his head, bites his hand, screams and runs around. He physically attacks people, scratching and throttling. He must have Marmite toast for breakfast everyday. He can't cook for himself. He twiddles feathers to relax and for fun. Jonah is eleven years old.
Jonah, at age eleven, obviously requires a special-needs resident school at this point, due to his profound autistic disabilities. However, the school, Highgrove, costs £200,000 a year. The tuition will be paid by the local authority for qualifying families. Emma and Ben are desperate, so very desperate, that Emma suggests they 'pretend' to separate in a preparation to a divorce, to scam the local authority into being more enthusiastic about their application. Ben moves in with his father. The lawyer helping Ben and Emma to prepare Jonah's paperwork needs at minimum £18,000 for the legal work and expert testimonies, so Ben reluctantly asks his father for a loan. Ben has lost his job because of his drinking.
Ben is a man-child, who has found being responsible difficult all of his life. Jonah's maintenance issues are stretching Ben to his emotional limit and beyond, but he is trying. Georg sees it all, but finds it difficult to talk to Ben, except for his obvious awareness of Ben's faults.
Three generations of Jewell men, all without anything to say for years to each other. But now they are all under one roof. Do they love each other? Georg and Ben certainly do, but there is damage between them. And disagreement. Georg thinks Jonah should stay home, attending the local school for autistic kids. Ben has doubled down on his drinking. Jonah throws food and feces. Emma calls occasionally.
There is a lot of distancing going on. Can this family get it together?
I have read other novels about families dealing with autism, but this is the first one I read that was primarily from the viewpoint of an educated middle-class parent dealing with an autistic child who is near the bottom of the spectrum in terms of social skills. Jonah is quite clear about what he wants and doesn't want, despite his lack of language, but the adults around him appear to be having issues with political correctness and honesty. Since he can't change or take care of himself - never ever - the other characters either bend or break under the stress of an autistic child. Interesting, if bleak, read. A bit spiky in the writing, too, and it jumps around in time, but it is quite revealing insofar as living with the chaos of a child like Jonah.
Jonah, at age eleven, obviously requires a special-needs resident school at this point, due to his profound autistic disabilities. However, the school, Highgrove, costs £200,000 a year. The tuition will be paid by the local authority for qualifying families. Emma and Ben are desperate, so very desperate, that Emma suggests they 'pretend' to separate in a preparation to a divorce, to scam the local authority into being more enthusiastic about their application. Ben moves in with his father. The lawyer helping Ben and Emma to prepare Jonah's paperwork needs at minimum £18,000 for the legal work and expert testimonies, so Ben reluctantly asks his father for a loan. Ben has lost his job because of his drinking.
Ben is a man-child, who has found being responsible difficult all of his life. Jonah's maintenance issues are stretching Ben to his emotional limit and beyond, but he is trying. Georg sees it all, but finds it difficult to talk to Ben, except for his obvious awareness of Ben's faults.
Three generations of Jewell men, all without anything to say for years to each other. But now they are all under one roof. Do they love each other? Georg and Ben certainly do, but there is damage between them. And disagreement. Georg thinks Jonah should stay home, attending the local school for autistic kids. Ben has doubled down on his drinking. Jonah throws food and feces. Emma calls occasionally.
There is a lot of distancing going on. Can this family get it together?
I have read other novels about families dealing with autism, but this is the first one I read that was primarily from the viewpoint of an educated middle-class parent dealing with an autistic child who is near the bottom of the spectrum in terms of social skills. Jonah is quite clear about what he wants and doesn't want, despite his lack of language, but the adults around him appear to be having issues with political correctness and honesty. Since he can't change or take care of himself - never ever - the other characters either bend or break under the stress of an autistic child. Interesting, if bleak, read. A bit spiky in the writing, too, and it jumps around in time, but it is quite revealing insofar as living with the chaos of a child like Jonah.
April 7, 2016
What a wonderful book! A true case of a book that is living up to the hype and that everyone should read as soon as they possibly can. I laughed, I cried then I cried some more!
Ben and Emma Jewell are parents on the edge. Their 10 year old son Jonah has autism, their marriage is struggling to cope with the sheer exhaustion of Jonah and jobs and...well, life! Jonah is approaching secondary school age and his parents want him to go to a fabulous boarding school but the local council aren't as keen (the cost that they have to pay is extortionate!) The school the council want to send Jonah to just isn't "Jonah" and so a plan is formed to get the help they desperately need. Ben and Emma will "split up" and Ben and Jonah will go to live with Ben's father. For me this is when this book became totally "unputdownable". The relationships between these three were beautifully written and I loved every second of their time together. I was an emotional wreck near the end!! The detail and research that has gone into this book raises it to a level of brilliance. It deserves to be a HUGE success and I will rave about it to everyone to make sure that it is!
Many, many thanks to Tracy Fenton at THE Book Club who arranged for me to get my copy via netgalley and to Sam Eades. I received my copy via netgalley in return for an unbiased review.
Ben and Emma Jewell are parents on the edge. Their 10 year old son Jonah has autism, their marriage is struggling to cope with the sheer exhaustion of Jonah and jobs and...well, life! Jonah is approaching secondary school age and his parents want him to go to a fabulous boarding school but the local council aren't as keen (the cost that they have to pay is extortionate!) The school the council want to send Jonah to just isn't "Jonah" and so a plan is formed to get the help they desperately need. Ben and Emma will "split up" and Ben and Jonah will go to live with Ben's father. For me this is when this book became totally "unputdownable". The relationships between these three were beautifully written and I loved every second of their time together. I was an emotional wreck near the end!! The detail and research that has gone into this book raises it to a level of brilliance. It deserves to be a HUGE success and I will rave about it to everyone to make sure that it is!
Many, many thanks to Tracy Fenton at THE Book Club who arranged for me to get my copy via netgalley and to Sam Eades. I received my copy via netgalley in return for an unbiased review.
December 10, 2015
I was so emotionally involved in this book and because of how accurate it was I thought I was reading a true story as I purposely didn't read the blurb. It was a roller coaster of emotions and had secrets to be revealed. Jonah Jewell had profound Autism and his parents wanted the very best care for him but were locked in a battle with the local authority who wanted the cheapest option.
The fight took its toll on the parents marriage and they even agreed to a temporary separation because they thought it might help their cause if they were living apart. I cried reading this book but it wasn't all sadness because despite everything Jonah remained a loving and happy boy. I would like to thank The Book Club and the publisher for arranging this ARC and most of all Jem Lester for this brilliant well written book a worthy 5*
The fight took its toll on the parents marriage and they even agreed to a temporary separation because they thought it might help their cause if they were living apart. I cried reading this book but it wasn't all sadness because despite everything Jonah remained a loving and happy boy. I would like to thank The Book Club and the publisher for arranging this ARC and most of all Jem Lester for this brilliant well written book a worthy 5*
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