Be Your Own Bestie: A No-Nonsense Guide to Changing the Way You Treat Yourself

by Misha Brown (Narrator)

Hey, Bestie! Start loving yourself radically with the 4-step SASS Method that literally anyone can do—from social media star Misha Brown.

You deserve happiness.
You deserve hope.
And you deserve a sassy best friend who can help you learn not to settle for less.

Misha Brown—you may know him as @yourbestiemisha—is here to support you and your journey of self-discovery, accountability, and most importantly, self-love. With his no-nonsense (but always loving) approach, Misha shares stories from his own life, encounters with others, and the wisdom gleaned from them to help you reflect on the patterns, relationships, and beliefs that have kept you from stepping into the full fabulousness you deserve.

With equal parts hilarity and heart, Misha guides you through his S.A.S.S. Method to glowing up your

S – Turn your focus inward to push away what’s been holding you back
A – Reshape the way you speak to and about yourself
S – Standing your Set boundaries and stop apologizing
S – Sculpting the life you Take bold steps toward your own happily ever after

No matter where you are today, now is the time to begin showing up for yourself as your own best friend. Because you deserve it, bestie!

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Audiobook, Humor, Mental Health, Memoir, Psychology

Audiobook

First published February 17, 2026

Reviews

[Ali Thomson]

🎧 the audiobook was great and full of Misha’s typical sass and flamboyant, encouraging energy. I enjoyed the stories he shared and the way he encouraged readers to actually do the work of healing, growing, and becoming their own best friend

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

I already loved following all his stories on Instagram so this was just a fun and really uplifting compliment to them.

[Erica · Rating 5 out of 5]

I LOVE Misha Brown, and want to be his bestie IRL, and this book felt like a chat with your bestie and is such a great uplifting read. If you love his TikToks or IG videos, please check it out!

[TL *Humaning the Best She Can* · Rating 5 out of 5]

Libby app, Overdrive was better
----

[Becky · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you know Misha, or if you know OF Misha, you know what you're getting in this. It's literally his two main social media "themes" (@Dontcrossagayman and @Yourbestiemisha), combined and repackaged into book form, with a smidgen of memoir tossed in.

I don't have social media anymore, but for a while I did, and I enjoyed his content whenever it would cross my feed. It's positive, it's snarky, it's pro-underdog, it's funny, it's a middle-finger to the patriarchy. I'm here for it.

I know that there's a whole "thing" about whether he's lying/making it up/whatever... but I don't know or particularly care if it's all real or not. He's telling stories on the internet as a content creator. And now he's writing it in a book. If he makes some of it up and it speaks to and inspires someone to stand up for themselves or someone else in need, I call that a good thing.

And that's this book in a nutshell. This book is all about standing up for yourself - even if it's standing up for yourself TO yourself. It's a good reminder that we're all just human people doing our best in this world, and to give ourselves a little grace when we need it, or set and stick to a boundary when we need that.

I recommend it. I listened to this in just about 4 hours, and it was a delight. Plus, according to the end of the audiobook, apparently my making it all the way through makes me an honorary sassy gay man! Just what I've always wanted! :D

If that's what you've also always wanted, all you have to do is listen to the audiobook. LOL

[Patty (IheartYA311) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Misha is truly all the good things.

Stellar book that I will probably re-read when I need to get in touch with my inner bestie. I'm now on the hunt for a signed copy to add to my collection.

Side note: The world needs more bad*ss girls like Bean!

[Brianna · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars but chose to round down, mainly because this book is in the 'self-help' category and if I'm judging it in comparison to the 'Let Them Theory' it falls significantly farther behind...although it is still my second favorite self-help book I've ever read. It's good because it's filled with tons of great stories, hilarious taunts, and you can tell how much writing this meant to Misha. I would say this book is only half self-help and half a memoir.
The audiobook is fun and is voiced by Misha himself. There was a lack of insightful learning and left me wanting more tips/tricks/etc. The biggest take away was Misha's thoughts on 'being the bigger person and playing nice'. He entirely squashes that idea and doesn't think it's fair or right to have to suck it up and 'take the high road'. Instead he encourages people to meet others like that head on, even giving tips of certain phrases to try and use. I appreciated that a lot, especially as a woman, since society expects us to shrug off the acts of men around us.

Was it a fun and quick audiobook? Definitely yes. Would I say I learned a ton and it's revolutionary? Nope.
Would I recommend? Yes.

[Emily McGilvray · Rating 4 out of 5]

Super fun book especially to listen to. Very true to Misha’s online vibe. I found myself answering his questions out loud. Definitely would recommend

[Amber Kestner · Rating 3 out of 5]

I didn't get very far in this even after putting it on-hold. I love Misha Brown, I do. I watch his content but this book hasn't set for me even after reading nearly 10 pages. It's one of those that I may never go back too because I do know his story, not like he doesn't share it on Social Media and he has, somewhat.

I'm only keeping it 3 star because it's only fair. I feel that it at least deserves middle rating, I should give it 1-2 stars but I'm not that type of reader.

I recommend to those that want it. But, it wasn't for me.

[Christina C · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved the sass and attitude the author delivers. This is a good pick me up

[Lysandra Engstrand · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just finished the audiobook! Been a long time bestie observer and this book did not disappoint! What an entertaining way to remind us all that we are bad bitches 🫶🏼

[Heather Spaulding · Rating 4 out of 5]

it was good. Shares a lot of his life experiences and what he learned from them. If you follow him on social media you will love it.

[Annie Hall · Rating 2 out of 5]

I truly did like sections of this book. Stand up for yourself, yes. Protect others, yes. I never think being mean is justified. Then you are just another one of them. Who gets to decide who gets mercy and who gets spite? Meeting awful with awful never changes anyone. It causes them to double down on their awfulness. And makes you a bully.

My mom always told me that hurt animals hurt others. I'm the first one to be infuriated when someone can't be a kind human. I also always wonder what pain they have experienced that caused then to behave that way. I've seen the crustiest humans completely melt into teddy bears when treated with softness.

I've literally had grown men stand in my office, red in the face yelling at me. Telling them to take a deep breath, take a a walk around the building, and come back when they can treat me with respect is far more cutting. I tell them I care about them and want to listen and take care of them as soon as they can get in a place to talk calmy. It's very rare that they don't take a breath right there and tell me some form of "I'm so sorry, I'm just so stressed about..... " Perfect, let's see what we can do.

Bullying bullies is not a message I can get behind. Hold bullies accountable, yes. Don't become one.

[Reeni Jean · Rating 2 out of 5]

I’d never heard of Misha before I purchased this book, brand new on release day as part of the self development book reading for 75 hard. This never felt like a self development read though. More like an autobiography and stories from a celeb. Great if you’re interested in the person himself. I don’t think I’ll be calling anyone a crinkle cut French fry any time soon but it was a funny read.

[Katie L'Ecuyer · Rating 2 out of 5]

While I like the memoir mixed with a self help organization, I felt let down by this book. The amount of times he called himself an internet celebrity made me cringe and made me wonder if he is truly as selfless as he seems. I love his content and recognize that a majority of the stories are definitely embellished for social media. Maybe this book just wasn't for me.

[Kaela Vance · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! Well, if you follow him on social media and you like his videos then you’ll love this book! As a therapist, I can say that he recommends all the right things in his own unique way! I already have clients I KNOW will benefit from this book! Also, I HIGHLY recommend listening to the audiobook version of this one as it is read by the author and makes it come to life so much more!

[Steffanie Thompson · Rating 4 out of 5]

So glad my sister*cousin recommended this book to me! What a great “hype ya up” read!! If you’re feeling down and out on your luck this is the book for you!!!

[Sherrill Carper · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book! Positive, uplifting, encouraging and funny. Well done!

[JennyG · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love, love, love!!!

[BookstagramSam · Rating 5 out of 5]

Soooo I’ll admit. I’ve never heard of Misha before this! Honestly the cover and title won me over!
But I’m so glad I listened to this. It was the bestie I knew I needed but never sought out to find!

Loved the SASS and lightheartedness but also the realness! The personal stories were a great insight and I truly took away a lot from this! I even annotated and if you know me that’s a big deal!

[Brittany Sabo · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've been following Misha online for a few years now. So when I saw his book was coming out, I had to have it! Listened to the audio and loved every minute.

[Suzy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Perfect! Beautiful! So informative! I loved it all! I listened to it this 1st time and plan to read it and mark the heck out of it my 2nd time.

[Luisa Nunez · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely glorious book! Entertaining and at the same time proving guidance, teaching life lessons, giving the best advice. Super engaging, Misha’s personal stories make it a completely different book from any other of this kind. I am so thankful for Misha, our real and very best friend forever!

[Sarena Flude · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't even know who Misha Brown is but I LOVED his book. He had me laughing out loud the entire time and now I want to be his best friend!

[Sharon · Rating 5 out of 5]

I follow Misha Brown on social media and was thrilled for him when this book deal was announced.

As you might expect, this is an excellent self-help and mental health book with a clever, sassy, and good-humored authorial voice. I have been on my own journey for a while, so some of the exercises he suggests are things I had already done.

The underlying theme is that we all tend to be far more harsh with ourselves than we would be with our best friend, and Brown's goal here is to reverse that. Finding ways to treat ourselves with greater care isn't some woo-woo New Age concept; it's a serious mental health aid that can help as part of an overall program of self-care and improvement.

Highly recommended.

[Jeneane Vanderhoof · Rating 5 out of 5]

⚠️ Content Warning: Please note that this review touches on topics discussed in Misha Brown's book, including coarse and censored profanity, heavy drinking, tumultuous relationships, emotional exhaustion, and the struggle with negative self-talk. Readers sensitive to discussions of personal trauma, substance use, or abusive relational dynamics should take care, as the book and review candidly explore the messy process of confronting personal reckonings and setting hard boundaries.

Okay, let me preface this by saying something that will probably make the fact that I am giving this book five stars even more interesting: I usually do NOT read self-help books. They have just never really been my thing. I am much more likely to pick up a novel, a memoir, something historical, something weird, something that is going to drag me into somebody else's life and let me spend several hundred pages thinking about why these fictional or nonfictional people make the choices they do than I am to willingly sit down with a book that is essentially going to tell me how to improve myself. I know myself well enough to know that if somebody starts talking to me about visualizing my best life, creating a morning routine, or looking into a mirror and repeating affirmations until I believe I am a magnificent unicorn, I am probably going to put the book down and go read something where somebody gets murdered instead.

But I follow Misha Brown. And that changes things.

You may know him as @dontcrossagayman, or more recently @yourbestiemisha, and if you have spent any amount of time watching his videos, you already know exactly why he has built the following he has. Misha blew up in 2021 with his viral “Lessons in Not Crossing a Gay Man” series, and since then he has amassed more than six million besties across his platforms and nearly a billion views, which is a ridiculous number until you actually watch his content and understand why people keep coming back. I especially love the videos where he breaks down the absolute as*****s of the world—the entitled customer, the terrible date, the person who decides to try him in public, the person who has apparently confused being rude with having a personality—and he does it with this theatrical, hilarious energy that makes you laugh before you even realize that somewhere in the middle of the story he has slipped an actual lesson into your brain.

And that, honestly, is what has always separated Misha's content from the endless parade of social media personalities who can tell you what is wrong with everybody else but have absolutely nothing to say about themselves. Misha can drag somebody spectacularly, but he doesn't stop there. He brings it back to the larger lesson, to the way we allow people to treat us, the way we treat ourselves, the stories we tell ourselves about what we deserve, and the ways our own insecurities and past experiences can keep us participating in situations that we would immediately recognize as unacceptable if they were happening to somebody we loved. He talks about his own life, his own mistakes, his own hardships, and the things he has had to learn, and that is important because Be Your Own Bestie doesn't feel like a man standing on a stage telling everybody else how to live. It feels like Misha taking the same conversation he has been having with millions of people online and turning it inward.

And that is exactly what this book is.

Published by Hay House, Be Your Own Bestie is a New York Times and USA Today Bestseller, but honestly, the accomplishment that matters to me more is that Misha managed to write a self-help book that a person who generally avoids self-help books actually wanted to keep reading. Because beneath all the humor and the very Misha language is something much more vulnerable than the social media persona initially lets you see. He talks about heavy drinking, tumultuous relationships, insecurities, and the ways all of those things contributed to derailing the professional acting goals he had for himself. He was a working actor doing musical theater, trying to build the life he wanted, while simultaneously carrying around a whole collection of beliefs about himself that were making that life harder to reach, and eventually, in a hotel room in 2018, he reached the kind of moment of reckoning that forces you to stop looking at everybody else's behavior and finally examine your own.
The question that came out of that moment is really the foundation of this entire book: What would you say to your bestie right now if she were saying these things about herself?

And honestly, that question is so deceptively simple because most of us are infinitely better at being compassionate toward other people than we are toward ourselves. We will sit with a friend while she cries over the same man for the forty-seventh time, tell her that she deserves better, remind her that she is smart and beautiful and capable, tell her to stop apologizing for taking up space, and then turn around and accept treatment from other people that we would absolutely lose our minds over if somebody did it to our best friend. We know how to recognize somebody else's worth. We just somehow become terrible witnesses when the person whose worth is on trial is ourselves.

That is where Misha's S.A.S.S. Method comes in, and what surprised me most is that I found myself thinking about it while I was reading rather than simply acknowledging it as another self-help framework and moving along. The four steps—Self-Reflection, Affirmations, Standing Your Ground, and Sculpting the Life You Want—sound straightforward, and they are, but the value is in the way Misha connects them, because you can't really build a different life if you refuse to examine the one you are already living.

Self-Reflection is where you have to get honest about the beliefs, coping mechanisms, patterns, relationships, and stories you have accumulated, and I think this is one of the places where Misha's willingness to talk about his own life makes the advice work. This isn't simply “think positively.” It is asking yourself why you keep doing what you keep doing, what you have convinced yourself you deserve, what behaviors you have normalized, and which parts of your identity might actually be adaptations to things you survived rather than truths about who you are. There is a difference between saying “this is just who I am” and asking whether this is who you actually are or simply who you became because that version of you was trying to get through something.

Then comes Affirmations, and I know, I know—this is exactly where the version of me who doesn't read self-help would normally start getting suspicious. But Misha's approach isn't really about standing in front of a mirror and pretending you believe some ridiculous sentence that your brain immediately rejects. It is about changing the language you use when you talk to yourself, affirming the shit out of yourself when you need to, embracing the quirks you have spent years apologizing for, and becoming conscious of the ways you have allowed other people's opinions to become the voice inside your own head. That distinction matters, because you can't spend your entire life letting everyone else write the story of your value and then wonder why you don't recognize yourself when you finally get the pen back.

Which brings us to Standing Your Ground, and this is probably the section where the Misha Brown I know from social media shows up most clearly, because this is where the @dontcrossagayman energy really comes through. Boundaries. Saying no. Stopping the endless apologies. Refusing to shrink yourself so somebody else can be comfortable. Recognizing that being a kind person does not require you to be endlessly available for mistreatment. And perhaps most importantly, understanding that setting a boundary is not the same thing as being cruel. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do for yourself is finally decide that a situation you have been explaining away for years is simply not acceptable anymore.

I could probably make an entire argument for reading the book just for that chapter.

And then there is Sculpting the Life You Want, which takes all that self-awareness and asks the question that matters after you have identified the problem: What are you actually going to do about it? Because there is a point where reflection can become another form of procrastination if we keep examining ourselves forever without ever changing anything. Misha pushes the reader toward intentional action, toward setting goals, making decisions, and actually moving toward the life you say you want instead of waiting for somebody else to give you permission to have it. That is an important distinction because wanting something and creating the conditions in which something can happen are two very different things, and the latter requires a willingness to act even when you are still scared, still imperfect, and still figuring yourself out.

What makes the whole thing work, though, is that Misha doesn't lose the person who made me want to read the book in the first place. He writes the way he talks. There is the humor, the ridiculousness, the theatricality, the sarcasm, but there is also the heart underneath it, and I think that combination is exactly why the more vulnerable parts of the book don't feel like they have been dropped into a self-help manual simply because the genre requires an emotional backstory. His storytelling background is obvious, and his work as the host of Wondery's The Big Flop makes sense when you read this because he understands how to tell a story about something that happened to him and make the story useful to somebody else without making it feel like a lecture.

And then we get to the emotional exhaustion section, where Misha asks the question that made me laugh because, of course, he would phrase it this way: “What good is a dead b***h?”

But the reason that line works isn't simply because it is funny. It is funny, absolutely, and I laughed, but underneath it is one of the more compassionate ideas in the book: you cannot spend your entire existence exhausting yourself trying to be everything for everyone else and then call that a successful life simply because you managed to keep functioning. There is a difference between surviving and actually living, and there is a difference between being needed and being valued. Sometimes we become so committed to being the dependable one, the strong one, the one who can handle it, that we forget that eventually even the person who can handle everything needs somebody to handle something for her.

That is really what I kept coming back to while reading Be Your Own Bestie. The book isn't asking you to become a completely different person. It is asking you to stop being the person who is constantly betraying herself in order to keep everybody else comfortable. And I think that is why this book worked on me when so many self-help books don't.

Misha isn't pretending that loving yourself means you suddenly wake up one morning without insecurities, bad habits, complicated relationships, old wounds, or the occasionally spectacularly terrible decision. He isn't selling some fantasy version of personal growth where once you have completed the four steps of the S.A.S.S. Method you are magically healed forever and can float through the rest of your life surrounded by perfect boundaries and excellent choices. Instead, he is talking about the much messier work of catching yourself when you are slipping back into old patterns, recognizing when you are talking to yourself like somebody you hate, deciding that you don't have to keep accepting treatment that makes you miserable, and then having enough respect for yourself to actually do something about it. That feels much more honest to me.

And maybe that is because Misha has spent so much of his career making people laugh at the absurdity of other people's behavior, while simultaneously showing them that the real lesson isn't always about the a*****e in the story. Sometimes it is about why we stayed. Sometimes it is about why we apologized when we weren't the ones who did anything wrong. Sometimes it is about why we keep shrinking ourselves to fit into spaces that were never designed to hold all of us in the first place. And sometimes the person we most desperately need to stop crossing is ourselves.

That is the best thing about Be Your Own Bestie: it takes the concept literally. It isn't simply telling you to love yourself because that sounds nice on an inspirational coffee mug. It is asking you to become the friend you keep looking for in everybody else—the friend who will hype you up, absolutely, but will also tell you when you are making excuses, remind you that you deserve better, call you out when you are treating yourself badly, and then sit beside you while you figure out what comes next.

For a woman who generally does not read self-help books, I was genuinely surprised by how much I enjoyed this one, but more than that, I was surprised by how often I found myself thinking about it after I put it down. That is the part that matters to me. A book can give you a hundred pieces of advice, but if none of them follow you back into your actual life, what did you really get from reading it?

Misha Brown gave me something I wasn't expecting when I picked this up: a reminder that the way we talk to ourselves is not some insignificant background noise running behind the rest of our lives. It is part of the architecture of the life we build, and if the person living inside our head is constantly tearing us down, apologizing for existing, accepting less than she deserves, and waiting for somebody else to tell her she is worthy, then maybe the first relationship that needs some serious attention isn't with another person at all.

Maybe it is with us.

And honestly, bestie, you deserve happiness. You deserve hope. You deserve to stop settling for less simply because you have convinced yourself that wanting more makes you difficult. And you deserve to become the person who has your own back when nobody else is standing there to do it.

This was a great surprise for this non-self-help girlie, and I am genuinely glad I picked it up.
5/5 stars.

Because sometimes you don't need another person to save you.

Sometimes you need to finally become your own bestie.

[Heather Collins · Rating 5 out of 5]

I want to start out by saying this is not your traditional “self help” book as I think most were expecting. Misha has put his own twist on trying to help others in my opinion, in a very laid back way. I follow him on social media and can say that I’m surprised by the way he chose to write this book. Yes, you learn quite a bit about him and what he’s gone through, but those experiences are ones millions go through and will likely find his “tips” easier to help us reflect. Read the book, ask yourself the hard questions and I bet, you’ll be smiling at the end.

[Rae-Leigh Ferris · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a Gen X woman, I picked up Be Your Own Bestie thinking it would be a cute, cheeky little read with a few laughs and maybe a couple “hmmm… fair point” moments. What I did NOT expect was to be personally attacked… in the best possible way.

Somewhere between the sass, the humour, and the “girl, get it together” energy were these absolute nuggets of wisdom that hit me right in the soul. This book has me rethinking old habits, showing up differently for myself, and honestly starting to build a life that actually feels aligned with who I’m meant to be… not just who everyone else needed me to be.

It’s warm, funny, empowering, relatable, and feels like that one brutally honest best friend who loves you enough to call you out while handing you a latte and hyping you up at the same time.

10/10 recommend for every woman who’s spent years taking care of everyone else and is finally ready to choose herself without guilt.

Turns out becoming your own bestie is kind of life-changing.

[Natalie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I expect I will be in the minority here. I am not a follower of Misha, although I have seen various videos and found them funny (although maybe my algorithm is giving me his stuff that will most suit me). And while I like his sass and snark in doses, there was a LOT of that, plus maybe a little more of what could be considered meanness, plus LOTS of strong language to consume all at once. That said, for his bestie followers, this is probably what they were expecting and hoping for. And there were some sweet stories in the book that I did really like.

[Melissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've been following Misha Brown on Instagram and Facebook for quite some time now. His videos are so uplifting and I've even cried from some of them. I talked about him in our column post back in December, as the topic was "kindness." So when I heard he had a book releasing last month, I just had to read it! I rarely do audiobooks due to lack of available time, but I made an exception for this one as it was a bit shorter and I was doing more driving than usual. I'm so glad I got to listen to him read his book as it made the experience that much more meaningful. (I also made an exception to reading self-help books, as I normally don't.)

Misha shares stories and anecdotes from his life in order to illustrate the different points he is trying to make to his readers (a.k.a. besties). He also talks about things his friends have gone through and the advice he has given them. As far as self-help books go, this one was a breeze! 

I just loved hearing what Misha had to say and I felt a lot of it was so relatable. I even saw myself in some of the stories he had about his friends. I was cheering him on when he shared something good and getting angry on his behalf when people treated him poorly. I really liked how he was able to rise above the way people treated him and impart his wisdom to others who may be going through the same things. Where was he when I was dealing with a toxic friend in high school?!? (He was probably in elementary school since he's eleven years younger than me. 🤣)

Misha is just so kind, genuine, and a complete ray of sunshine! It's impossible NOT to adore him once you see even just one of his social media videos. I'm jealous of anyone who has gotten to actually connect with him in person or even receive a response to a message they sent him. He's very popular and high-in-demand, so I understand that. I just hope he brings his book tour to my neck of the woods soon. 

There are parts in the book where Misha asks readers to do thought exercises and write things down. I will admit that I didn't do this. I may have thought about what he suggested a few times, but I was hard-pressed to always come up with situations where I would be able to use these exercises. However, they are extremely helpful to anyone who would actually need them. I did feel a boost of confidence from listening to Misha be my own personal cheerleader during my drives and while folding laundry though! 

Something Misha said that was extremely relevant is that people tend to sympathize with bullies instead of victims. That has been happening a lot lately and it's a disturbing trend. Maybe Misha's next book should be helping people realize that they were brainwashed. 

Overall, this is a delightful book to listen to (or read in print or Kindle, if you don't do audio). I highly recommend it to anyone who needs a confidence boost or a push to remove toxicity from their lives. I think everyone can benefit in some way from listening to Misha and becoming their own bestie! (On the audio version, Misha leads a meditation at the end.)

Side note: The other day, my daughter was giving advice to one of her friends regarding some friendship drama. Afterward, I told her how much she sounded like Misha and how proud I was. (She hasn't even listened to Misha, but she definitely said everything he would say!)

Side note 2: Since you know how much I love Ghosts, the name of Misha's method is easy for me to remember. And honestly, Sass could use some S.A.S.S. too. (Although I am impressed by something he did recently, but more for his own sake.)

Originally posted at Chick Lit Central.