Headfirst

by Genevieve Hudson

“Fun as hell . . . An anthem for living and loving with abandon.”—Chelsea Bieker, author of Godshot

“Hudson’s writing is magnetic. It’s the Kristen Stewart of prose—chameleon-like, layered, funny and serious and sad, really gay, and so attractive . . . It wrecked me, just like I wanted.”—Them, on Boys of Alabama

From the acclaimed author of Boys of Alabama comes a propulsive and sexy novel about difficult decisions, bad timing, and the one who got away

From the outside, Reed has a great life. She lives in Amsterdam, works a great job as a “creative” at a Dutch ad agency, and has a caring, driven girlfriend with whom she is trying to conceive a child. But, below the surface not everything is as it seems. Through a series of small choices and little compromises, Reed has lost sight of who she is and what she wants. A trip home to Charleston to attend her best friend’s wedding makes her wonder––who were those choices and compromises for?

When Reed is confronted with a long-lost love, she is faced with questions she can’t avoid. What kind of person does she want to one who plays it safe or takes risks? What life will she live, a comfortable or ambitious one? And, which part of her will set the terms for her her anxiety or her truest desires?

Genres: Queer, Fiction, LGBT, Adult, Lesbian

Kindle Edition

Expected publication January 19, 2027

About the author

Genevieve Hudson is the author of the novel Boys of Alabama, which was a finalist for the Oregon Book Award and shortlisted for the Stonewall Book Award, and the story collection Pretend We Live Here, which was a Lambda Literary Award finalist. Her second novel, Headfirst, is forthcoming with Roxane Gay Books in 2027.

Hudson's work has appeared in Elle, Oprah Magazine, McSweeney’s, BOMB, Bookforum, Lit Hub, and Electric Literature, and was featured in Edge of the World: An Anthology of Queer Travel Writing. She was the recipient of a Creative & Performing Arts Fulbright to Amsterdam and has been awarded fellowships and residencies from MacDowell, Ucross Foundation, Caldera Arts, Sitka Center for Art and Ecology, and Vermont Studio Center. Hudson lives in Portland, Oregon, with her wife and two dogs.

Reviews

[Gee Beadle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC of Headfirst.

I loved every page of this novel. The writing is sublime and the pacing kept me really engaged. The characters are really well fleshed out, to the point where I felt like I knew them personally. It takes a lot to write a character that is super dislikable but the author really nailed this with Astrid, who I was side-eying from the first page.

This is a super queer novel focused mainly on lesbian relationships. The depiction of lesbianism-as-gender through Reed, and also Jordan, was something that really struck me as super relatable and is often misunderstood or misinterpreted out in the world, and let’s be honest is really glazed over in media. The author clearly knows ball and did a great job of painting a picture of life for pretty normal (albeit creatively minded) queer people.

The expectation of heteronormativity loomed throughout the plot and was a really interesting foil—a lot of people hold the view that because queer people can get married and have kids now that should be the done thing, this novel did a great job of exploring this pressure and the reality that this isn’t something that everybody necessarily wants. Reed’s struggle with what she has vs. what she wants (or thinks she might want) I think is probably universally relatable. Who among us hasn’t reflected on things they have in life and question if it’s really what they want?

A really beautiful, funny, and at times shocking exploration of what it means to have desire and ambition; and what can happen when you come face to face with the one that got away.

4.5⭐️ rounded up to 5, I particularly recommend this as a must-read for lesbians and queer folk but think anybody would find this fantastic read enjoyable.

[Alisha · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a beautifully written book about some likable, flawed people who were lost and then slightly less lost.

[Lizzie · Rating 4 out of 5]

After finishing a dense, long and laborious novel, Headfirst was absolutely the palate cleanser I needed. I read it over a couple of days; the story is fast-paced and engaging, but there’s enough going on to give you plenty to think about afterwards.

We follow Reed, an American expat living in Amsterdam, working at an ad agency and trying to conceive a child with her partner, Astrid. She’s going through the motions of the life she has built, but feels a little. When she returns to the US for her best friend’s wedding, she’s drawn back to her biggest ‘what if?’ Jordan. In this environment she starts to pull apart the life she’s built and it forces her to question what is it she really wants.

There were some really interesting characters here, and I didn’t necessarily warm to all of them, but I actually think that’s part of the strength of the characterisation. Reed’s passivity was both frustrating and genuine. Hudson does a great job of getting us inside Reed’s head and allowing us to sit with her challenges and imperfections. Jordan, whilst a little bit of a cool-girl archetype, was a very believable source of temptation for Reed. I found myself wishing I could understand Astrid a little better. At times she felt somewhat shallow to me. But I also appreciated that we are seeing Astrid through Reed’s eyes which naturally limits how many sides of her we get to see. I really liked Isaac and Wes’s wedding storyline; they were sweet and refreshing, and provided a nice balance to the intensity of Reed and Jordan.

A highight was the exploration of the expectations of a conventional life, particularly through a queer lens. It’s a theme that runs through not only Reed’s life but those around her too and gives the reader plenty to chew on.

The final pages were a refreshing surprise. I can imagine the ending being divisive, but I thought it was a bold choice from Hudson. I liked that she didn’t take the moral high ground or try to give Reed a neat consequence for her choices. It felt much more interesting to let the story play out on its own terms.

Headfirst was a really enjoyable, thoughtful and refreshing read!

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thanks to Net Galley for an advanced copy of this book. Chelsea Bieker is one of my favorite writers so when I saw her praise on the cover I had to request this title.

The book follows the protagonist Reed's trip back to her best friend's wedding in Charleston. This journey home makes her question her current life abroad with her longterm girlfriend, trying for a baby, shelving her passion for poetry and instead expending all of her creative energy on brand management work. While the engine of the book--the reason you keep reading--is Reed's run in and subsequent desire for her ex, Hudson's prose was just as mesmerizing. The descriptions were breathtaking and novel without being contrived. Reed's interiority is rich and nuanced... and as a reader I empathized with her throughout.

My favorite part of the book is that Reed's ex Jordan understood and appreciated her art. There's one outstanding scene where Reed's girlfriend doesn't know she has cheated and the tell is how Reed's ex talks about her art, how she lifts her up as an artist. This was the most compelling thread of the book to me because there are probably any given number of partners many of us could make a life with. But that soul sucking feeling of using your life force to compel people to drink more sparkling water or buy more makeup, the sad existence of shoving down your desires to make a life... that is what Reed turns away from. And that feeling, the slow drip into that existence, I think we all know how that feels.

I loved the interplay of Charleston, pollution, climate change, and the poems in trash island. I loved the meta theme of her poems exploring how to turn trash into redemption. And this choosing of a partner who 'got it', who got why Reed's art mattered, beyond any explicit sexual chemistry that they had, was gold.

I stayed up late twice to read this book... perhaps the biggest endorsement from a mother of young children.

[Nicole · Rating 2 out of 5]

Thank you NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review

It has been a while since I've read a book that I've read a book I have so strongly disliked. I would have DNF'd but I did want to see how everything would go down with Astrid.

For starters, there is not one likable character in this story. They are far too grown to be acting the way they do. My biggest issue, though, stems from the cheating trope. Cheating is by far my least favourite thing an author can do, especially when it is the main character that is doing the cheating. Did Astrid have some serious red flags? Yes, but that does not justify cheating. Majority of Astrid and Reed's relationship issues stemmed from Reed's inability to make a decision or stand up for self and her wants. Reed's choices, and her justifications of said choices, throughout the story made it very difficult to route for her in any way. In fact I found myself actively praying for her downfall.

I did not find the introspective aspects of Reed's character particularly compelling. It felt less like an exploration of where she wanted her life to go and more like Astrid vs Jordan. Reed is incapable of making decisions that are not connected to these two characters. It is a very black and white way of viewing the world.

I could not get behind the happy ending. Reed blows up Astrid's life, but in the end, gets the girl and the happy ending she does NOT deserve. Though, given that both Jordan and Reed are cheaters, I do not see their relationship lasting very long. They have an idealized version of each other which I fear is not truly based in reality.

[gracee may · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley for allowing me a copy of this book!

To start off, this book is very easy to get sucked into. The writing has an easy flow, which makes reading go by quickly. I also noticed that this book is one I can recognize being loved by many people, but the tropes and the storyline were just not something I personally enjoy.

I like reading these NetGalley reads because it expands my horizons on genres and tropes, but one trope I will never be able to get into is cheating. Before Jordan is even introduced in the present, we can still assume and see the emotinoal cheating that Reed has on Astrid. Even if the reader sees the major red flags from Astrid, I couldn't accept that cheating on your possibly pregnant partner was a justifiable route to go. I know the point of this book is that the characters aren't justifiable and it's just a writing of everyday life, but I still struggle to enjoy the trope. Even if Jordan and Reed had amazing chemistry and deep dialoguge, in the back of my mind I still was thinking of Astrid/Cash.

However, I feel like the relationships were well explored, even if some of the friendships were slightly surface level. The writing had very intense, and even relatable, moments with Reed that I enjoyed. The author encapsulated the spectrum and fluidity of Reed's discovery of herself thoroughly as well. Overall, the book was well-written, but the tropes prevented me from being able to really enjoy it.

[Chelsea · Rating 5 out of 5]

A stunning and shocking debt. Riveting. Chills several times. No notes, only praise.

"The queer books and love stories, that came before me, illuminating possibility and lighting up the rooms of my imagination. I write in your lineage."

Such a clear voice and perspective and one of which we need more of. Lifting up LGBTQ joy with an upcoming wedding of two men who feel a resounding yes in their whole beings to tradition and matrimony and also shining a spotlight on a lesbian who doesn't want to give up her career and the struggle of the non biological parent.

"I'm getting married—a base heterosexual rite I am dutifully trying to parrot and perform so I can attract the acceptance of culture."

I panted and sweated while reading this I was wound so tight and insides Reed's head so intimately. I wish I could take a writing class that specifically focused on crafting narratives and main characters to this degree and tune — because it is the fundamental frequency of me as a reader; a pure tone of symphony in writing. This collection of letters and nouns, adjectives, verbs, this is where I could languish and yearn forever.

Many themes came to light - gender, religion, societal expectations, LGBTQIA+ families and the journey of pregnancy and matrimony, traditional monogamy, self-expression. I have nothing but gratitude for the vulnerable works of this author.

[Melissa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and the published for this ARC!

This book was MESSY!!!! Very few likeable characters and a messy storyline from the jump made for an interesting read.

The writing was probably my favourite part of this book. Hudson’s prose was eloquent and beautiful yet easy to read.

Astrid was obviously the worst but high key so was Reed. I did relate to the character’s need to be perfect and her anxious tendencies, but knowing her inner monologue was frustrating. Maybe that’s because I can understand where she’s coming from? Either way, I kept yelling at her to stop being a people pleaser and stick up for herself. And then when she finally did something for herself, it was the wrong thing to do because obviously cheating is bad. I do think that it takes a good writer to be frustrated with a character so points to Hudson on that front.

I’m not sure if this was the right time for me to read this book - perhaps reading it at a different time would have pushed my rating to a 4 stars. As I was reading, I just wanted more plot to sink my teeth into which isn’t what you are going to get with literary fiction.

Maybe I would have had a more enjoyable time reading this if Reed fully leaned into her messiness?

[Jamie P-Kretzschmar · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received an ARC of this book from NetGalley and Roxane Gay Books.

The plot focuses on Reed, an American expatriate working at an advertising agency in Amsterdam. She and her girlfriend are actively attempting to conceive a child. Reed returns to Charleston for a friend's wedding and unexpectedly encounters a past love.

It is heavier than a standard contemporary romance, functioning more as a queer social novel. The story explores the tension between homonormative milestones, like starting a family, and unresolved queer desire. I found the themes of adult compromise and the commodification of the creative self to be well-executed. The narrative effectively uses the contrast between the progressive environment of Amsterdam and the historically saturated landscape of the American South to highlight the protagonist's internal conflict.

The prose is layered and highly readable. It dismantles binaries like comfort versus ambition logically and without stalling the pacing.

It is a competent, intellectual examination of identity. Recommended for readers looking for a love story that addresses the anxieties of modern queer life.

[Ines · Rating 3 out of 5]

Headfirst is one of those books I admired more than I actually enjoyed.

Genevieve Hudson's prose is gorgeous (lyrical without feeling overwritten) and the introspective nature of the novel was exactly the kind of literary fiction I usually love. I also appreciate messy, morally complicated characters, and this book certainly doesn't shy away from letting them be selfish, contradictory, or difficult.

The problem, for me, was the plot and the emotional core. While I understood why the characters made the choices they did, I rarely liked those choices, and that created a distance I never quite overcame. In particular, I struggle with infidelity in fiction, especially when it comes from the character whose perspective we're asked to invest in. I don't need characters to be good people, but I do need to want to follow them, and here, that became increasingly difficult.

Oddly, I didn't like most of the characters, yet I still found them compelling enough to keep reading. Hudson writes people with remarkable psychological insight, and I was never bored. I just wasn't emotionally on board with where the story took them.

[LezLibros · Rating 5 out of 5]

*** ARC REVIEW ***

It shouldn’t be a surprise that a book about a “lost” poet reads like poetry, but I was pleasantly surprised at how beautifully this story unfolded in both prose and imagery.
This is such a tender story about Reed and her growth from a “yes woman” with a partner to who she truly is, with a little bit of help from her college friends. It’s heartbreaking at some parts, comforting in others, and a really wonderful read overall. The world building is just beautiful; the author captured Amsterdam and South Carolina exactly as they are, and each character is so well developed; it’s easy to get lost in this book! Reed’s journey to herself isn’t easy, but what a privilege it is to walk beside her through this book and feel her frustration, doubt, and hope as she journeys. The writing really pulls you in to experience what Reed is feeling and that is the most beautiful part of this book.

[bunnyrat3000 · Rating 3 out of 5]

A story kind of about the worst couple in the world and their unraveling. I was really sucked into this novel, getting about 60% through the first time I picked it up, and finishing it on the second. But, similar to Astrid and Reed's relationship, the sense of dread permeated throughout, and only got worse over time. While Astrid is clearly written to be unlikable in her domineering aura, Reed was really the one who gave me the ick. Obsessed with "the one that got away," unable to have meaningful dialogue with her partner or any of her friends it seems, it's hard to root for her. I found myself unsurprised by Astrid's "test," and Reed's inner dialogue felt the most cognizant in that moment after a whirlwind of recklessness. I enjoyed the prose, but I just couldn't get behind the semi-happy ending this is supposed to be.

Thank you to Netgalley for this advanced copy in exchange for an honest review.

[Pía · Rating 4 out of 5]

4/5

First, I want to thank NetGalley and the publisher for this book.

It took me a bit of time to pick up this book, as the topics covered aren’t ones I usually read about, but I like to expand my horizons, and I’m glad I did. I read this book in one sitting. It’s very fast-paced and a short book (compared to the 600-page books I usually like to read).

The book follows Reed and Jordan, the one who got away, as we move between the past and the present.
My only problem was the cheating trope. I don’t like cheating. Astrid may have a lot of red flags, but that isn’t an excuse for it.

Also, in a way, I liked the ending because I found it very realistic. In a lot of books, the cheater gets punished, but in real life, that is not always the case. While controversial, I like reading books that, although not perfect, feel very real. This was one of those. You may not like the characters or their decisions, but it feels so real.

[Lydia Hephzibah · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5

Setting: South Carolina & Amsterdam
Rep: lesbian protagonist

20% in and I realized I'm enjoying Reed as a protagonist and the dual timelines. Astrid is really giving me the ick! I hate how she calls Reed Kitten, a nickname that really doesn't suit masculine Reed. I need Reed to realize what she wants from life, because clearly it's not Astrid and a baby but she doesn't see that yet. They don't work as a couple at all.

Powered through this in a couple of days. I felt such a sense of relief when Reed got to America and the distance from Astrid and Amsterdam turned her into a new person, surrounded by people who actually see her. Really enjoyed this story, and how it's kind of a coming of age book for a 30 year old.

[Kirstie G · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and Grove Atlantic for providing an advance review copy. All opinions are my own.

Headfirst is a thoughtful, introspective novel with a compelling exploration of identity, desire, and the complexities of human relationships. Genevieve's prose is immersive, and I appreciated how emotionally layered the characters felt, even when I didn't always agree with their choices.That being said, I admired the novel's honesty and its willingness to embrace moral ambiguity rather than offering neat resolutions. The themes of self discovery, queerness, and longing were handled with sensitivity, and her lyrical writing style kept me engaged.

[Paul Moffett · Rating 3 out of 5]

Headfirst by Genevieve Hudson was an enjoyable read that follows Read and her on-again, off-again relationship with Jordan. Throughout different stages of their lives, the timing never seems to be right, as one or both of them are involved with other people. The novel explores the difficult choices people make, even when they know those choices may never truly fulfill them. It raises an interesting question: in our search for happiness, is it enough to settle for comfort?
While I enjoyed the story and appreciated its emotional depth, I kept waiting for it to dig just a little deeper. I wanted more from the characters and their journey. Still, it's a thoughtful and worthwhile read.

[Liv]

astrid #1 most punchable character i've read in a long long time. ultimately Not the book for me, but i will say this, it was compulsively readable!!

[Ronnica Fatt · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoy messy lesbians, but our MC didn’t seem to grow through her messiness, or perhaps we weren’t let in enough to her interiority to see it

[Debbie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Great book concept, felt a little light for me and may be my stage of life is too different to this setting. Thank you to the author. Thank you to #netgalley and the publisher for an ARC.

[Mary Kate · Rating 5 out of 5]

I devoured this in a day - the writing was delightful and while I hated Reed’s decisions and the way they affected her partner, I couldn’t help but be happy with the eventual outcome anyway.

[Adia Smalls · Rating 5 out of 5]

5/5 because I do love some queer mess and this was very queer and very messy. The book was a very entrancing read for me. I can understand that "Headfirst" may not be everyone's cup of tea because the main characters have obvious flaws that draw the plot, and it's likely not the ending that people will be rooting for. However, I very much enjoyed this read and like that there wasn't a generic and "put a bow on it" ending.