What do you think?
Rate this book
Befriending Silence: Discovering the Gifts of Cistercian Spirituality
Winner of the 2016 Georgia Author of the Inspirational-religious books.
Respected speaker, author, and Patheos blogger Carl McColman introduces Cistercian spirituality as "the hidden jewel of the Church," presenting a surprisingly contemporary path grounded in monastic tradition. This accessible and comprehensive guide highlights a unique focus on simplicity, living close to the earth, and contemplative prayer, all of which make Cistercian spirituality relevant today.
Steeped in chant and silence, grounded in down-to-earth work and service, and immersed in the mystical wisdom of teachers ancient (Bernard of Clairvaux) and modern (Thomas Merton), Cistercian spirituality's beautifully humble path has for centuries made monasteries places of rest, retreat, and renewal. Now, Carl McColman offers the first practical introduction to this ancient, contemplative spirituality for all people.
Hailed by reviewers of his many books as playful, and profound, McColman draws on his experience as a lay Cistercian to provide insight into the relevance of the tradition to contemporary issues and spiritual practice. He explains how silence, simplicity, stability, stewardship of the earth, contemplation, ongoing conversion, and devotion to Mary combine to offer a rich and unique path to discipleship and intimacy with God.
Respected speaker, author, and Patheos blogger Carl McColman introduces Cistercian spirituality as "the hidden jewel of the Church," presenting a surprisingly contemporary path grounded in monastic tradition. This accessible and comprehensive guide highlights a unique focus on simplicity, living close to the earth, and contemplative prayer, all of which make Cistercian spirituality relevant today.
Steeped in chant and silence, grounded in down-to-earth work and service, and immersed in the mystical wisdom of teachers ancient (Bernard of Clairvaux) and modern (Thomas Merton), Cistercian spirituality's beautifully humble path has for centuries made monasteries places of rest, retreat, and renewal. Now, Carl McColman offers the first practical introduction to this ancient, contemplative spirituality for all people.
Hailed by reviewers of his many books as playful, and profound, McColman draws on his experience as a lay Cistercian to provide insight into the relevance of the tradition to contemporary issues and spiritual practice. He explains how silence, simplicity, stability, stewardship of the earth, contemplation, ongoing conversion, and devotion to Mary combine to offer a rich and unique path to discipleship and intimacy with God.
181 pages, Paperback
First published November 20, 2015
27 people are currently reading
115 people want to read
About the author
Carl McColman
37 books112 followersCarl McColman writes about the spiritual life, covering topics like mysticism (The Big Book of Christian Mysticism), contemplative prayer (Answering the Contemplative Call), monastic spirituality (Befriending Silence), Celtic traditions (An Invitation to Celtic Wisdom), Paganism (The Complete Idiot's Guide to Paganism), and Wicca (When Someone You Love is Wiccan).
He is also a blogger (www.patheos.com/blogs/carlmccolman) and podcaster(www.encounteringsilence.com) .
Why did Carl McColman, a Catholic author, write books about Paganism? Read the answer here: www.patheos.com/blogs/carlmccolman/20...
He is also a blogger (www.patheos.com/blogs/carlmccolman) and podcaster(www.encounteringsilence.com) .
Why did Carl McColman, a Catholic author, write books about Paganism? Read the answer here: www.patheos.com/blogs/carlmccolman/20...
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews
November 7, 2015
This is a beautifully-written book about contemplative Christian spirituality, focusing on the Cistercian monastic heritage. Carl McColman, who is himself a Lay Cistercian, gives us history as well as quotes from famous Cistercians like Thomas Merton, Basil Pennington, and St. Bernard, but the book is no dry history or theology text. McColman uses Cistercian history as a springboard for delving deeper into topics that apply to all, whether inside or outside the walls of a monastery, who are on a spiritual path: humility, hospitality, compassion, community, prayer, contemplation. Each chapter reads like an inspiring devotional. Befriending Silence is a quiet and insightful reminder of what those of us "in the real world" can learn from the deep tradition of monastic spirituality.
March 16, 2024
Not really what I was expecting. But a good intro and overview of Cistercian spirituality. If you don’t know anything about modern day monasticism, and would like to learn, this is a great place to begin.
The best part was honestly the list of Abby’s in North America and the index of websites where you can purchase monk-made products. Worth the price of entry.
The best part was honestly the list of Abby’s in North America and the index of websites where you can purchase monk-made products. Worth the price of entry.
June 23, 2016
A fantastic overview of Cistercian spiritual commitments and how they can be practiced outside the cloister.
McColman has written several books on spirituality dating back to the 90's, but this one is by far my favorite. There is no shortage of books on spirituality, including books on monastic spirituality. This is the first one that I know of that appeals to the distinctly Cistercian way of life as an option for the laity. He provides background and history of the movement without getting bogged down in strictly historical interests. The focus is always on the gifts the Cistercians offer the Church, and how one can understand and practice those gifts.
I think the focus on spiritual practice is what I found most appealing. It is certainly not an in-depth treatment of the Cistercian life and practice. It is clearly written by an experienced and learned author, yet it does not have any pretense of being an academic book. It is by all measures pastoral, prompting the reader to explore their personal spirituality and how the Cistercians might contribute to that path.
I plan to use it for a book study at our parish later this year. Highly recommended.
McColman has written several books on spirituality dating back to the 90's, but this one is by far my favorite. There is no shortage of books on spirituality, including books on monastic spirituality. This is the first one that I know of that appeals to the distinctly Cistercian way of life as an option for the laity. He provides background and history of the movement without getting bogged down in strictly historical interests. The focus is always on the gifts the Cistercians offer the Church, and how one can understand and practice those gifts.
I think the focus on spiritual practice is what I found most appealing. It is certainly not an in-depth treatment of the Cistercian life and practice. It is clearly written by an experienced and learned author, yet it does not have any pretense of being an academic book. It is by all measures pastoral, prompting the reader to explore their personal spirituality and how the Cistercians might contribute to that path.
I plan to use it for a book study at our parish later this year. Highly recommended.
May 27, 2024
I thought this was going to be a heavy hitter but very much written in the cheesy religious style that I don’t really jive with. Teaches you a lot about the Cistercian way of live and has some good saint quotes and stories.
November 8, 2015
I received a free copy of this book from the publisher.
Carl McColman is a Lay Cistercian and seeks to speak to each of us as a layperson about the gifts of this type of spirituality. Each chapter speaks to one aspect of this and includes questions for reflection and a spiritual exercise to try to build this in your own life. He makes connections to the "real" world so that it seems approachable. I had heard of Trappist monks of course and know Thomas Merton by name, but nothing much beyond that, certainly not about the Lay Cistercians. I found the suggestions easy in principle, but imagine they are hard in practice. This however is an excellent introduction to a new type of praying and being that I do hope will make some impact in my spiritual life.
Carl McColman is a Lay Cistercian and seeks to speak to each of us as a layperson about the gifts of this type of spirituality. Each chapter speaks to one aspect of this and includes questions for reflection and a spiritual exercise to try to build this in your own life. He makes connections to the "real" world so that it seems approachable. I had heard of Trappist monks of course and know Thomas Merton by name, but nothing much beyond that, certainly not about the Lay Cistercians. I found the suggestions easy in principle, but imagine they are hard in practice. This however is an excellent introduction to a new type of praying and being that I do hope will make some impact in my spiritual life.
November 26, 2016
A beautiful book whether for reference or guidance. I wish I had ordered the hardback edition.
Befriending Silence is the best of the three books on mysticism that I downloaded. McColman understands that modern mystical experiences come in many diverse forms. He does a wonderful job of cutting through the difficult works of the mystics of the past while also pointing out those of the famous "teaching" mystics living and writing among us today.
And then there is silence, the pathway to everything.
Befriending Silence is the best of the three books on mysticism that I downloaded. McColman understands that modern mystical experiences come in many diverse forms. He does a wonderful job of cutting through the difficult works of the mystics of the past while also pointing out those of the famous "teaching" mystics living and writing among us today.
And then there is silence, the pathway to everything.
August 12, 2020
I picked up this book on Google Books a few weeks back. It is, again, yet another book on Benedictine spirituality- this time by an oblate of a Cistercian abbey in the southern US. I've already read a book or two by McColman, especially on contemplative prayer, so I had some idea what to expect.
What this is is a good review of the aspects of Benedictine, especially Cistercian, spirituality and how it applies to non-monastics. It is structured with each chapter including a discussion of the theme, some reflection questions and, then, a reflection on the theme to end the chapter. I admit that I didn't answer the reflection questions formally, although I intend, at some point, to go back and re-read and do them.
I found this a helpful book in addressing how to live out an everyday spirituality. I am not an oblate, nor am I likely to be, given where I am, but I appreciated the wisdom and the good sense of this book. It is well worth picking up.
What this is is a good review of the aspects of Benedictine, especially Cistercian, spirituality and how it applies to non-monastics. It is structured with each chapter including a discussion of the theme, some reflection questions and, then, a reflection on the theme to end the chapter. I admit that I didn't answer the reflection questions formally, although I intend, at some point, to go back and re-read and do them.
I found this a helpful book in addressing how to live out an everyday spirituality. I am not an oblate, nor am I likely to be, given where I am, but I appreciated the wisdom and the good sense of this book. It is well worth picking up.
August 16, 2018
This was a really helpful book amid my ongoing exploring of more contemplative Christianity. Though some of the experience is beyond where I am at or necessarily sense to go with my life, there were all kinds of gems to reflect on for the journey of walking out following Christ amid how 'noisy' and hectic life can be.
August 4, 2022
Subtitle: Discovering the gifts of Cistercian spirituality. Well written, insightful book that will appeal to both your head and your heart and lead you closer to God. Each chapter focuses on a topic (such as Formation, Humility, Stability, etc.) and then gives you questions to ponder and a spiritual practice to put into action. This book has many deep insights. It's one I will reread.
June 8, 2018
Deeply informative and rich in foundation, McColman gives a thorough introduction to Cistercian spirituality. I am moved and transformed by the simple elements involving contemplative silence and humility. I recommend this book to anyone interested in learning more about monastic life.
June 1, 2024
Book is not what I expected. I thought it was about growing in silence and practicals but instead it covers general areas of Cistercian life. It’s great for beginners. But not what I was searching for.
October 4, 2019
An interesting book on Cistercian Spirituality, that maps out the basics!
January 10, 2016
Monastic spirituality is for everyone!
Carl asks a very important question in "Befriending Silence", "Can the wisdom, the gifts, and the practices of Cistercian spirituality bless and challenge Christians who live outside monastery walls?" The answer to this important question is Yes!
Let me share some key points that I particularly enjoyed. There were many so I will need to limit them. I encourage you to read this book and find the rest of them.
"But to truly know God in stillness, we need to follow Saint Benedict’s advice and listen—not only with our physical ears but with the spiritual ears of our heart." How do we do this? "Give yourself permission to find some time each day, even if only ten or fifteen minutes, for silence." When we sit in silence and open to God something magical happens. We begin to hear God.
As Carl mentions, formation is an interior process. We are made into something new.
"The “something new” is what Saint Paul called the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control." Carl also mentions, "If we approach the Bible, the Rule, or other great writings with an open heart and an inquiring mind, the Holy Spirit often will use the words on the page to speak directly to our hearts." Formation is a daily process. It is vital to our growth. We simply need to keep at it. It will take a life time.
"A humble person is down-to-earth, does not put on airs, wastes no time trying to impress anyone but rather goes about his or her business." As Carl mentions, this business will be serving, pitching in where needed and just carrying on with the daily tasks. A humble person is not interested in having the spotlight focused on him or her.
"the monastic “diet”—formal prayer, scripture reading, spontaneous/ personal vocal prayer, work-as-prayer, and contemplative (silent) prayer—needs all these elements to be balanced." This is a very important point. Our prayer life needs balance. Each form of prayer complements the other form. They make us whole.
"Likewise, stability means finding joy in who we are as God’s creations here and now (not just in who we hope to be, someday)." We spend way too much time looking ahead and planning. Enjoy this moment. God is in the now! This is our home.
"Most of the elements of monastic spirituality are adaptable to the lives of people who live “in the world.” Read this book! You will be blessed! And then go back and re read it.
Carl asks a very important question in "Befriending Silence", "Can the wisdom, the gifts, and the practices of Cistercian spirituality bless and challenge Christians who live outside monastery walls?" The answer to this important question is Yes!
Let me share some key points that I particularly enjoyed. There were many so I will need to limit them. I encourage you to read this book and find the rest of them.
"But to truly know God in stillness, we need to follow Saint Benedict’s advice and listen—not only with our physical ears but with the spiritual ears of our heart." How do we do this? "Give yourself permission to find some time each day, even if only ten or fifteen minutes, for silence." When we sit in silence and open to God something magical happens. We begin to hear God.
As Carl mentions, formation is an interior process. We are made into something new.
"The “something new” is what Saint Paul called the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control." Carl also mentions, "If we approach the Bible, the Rule, or other great writings with an open heart and an inquiring mind, the Holy Spirit often will use the words on the page to speak directly to our hearts." Formation is a daily process. It is vital to our growth. We simply need to keep at it. It will take a life time.
"A humble person is down-to-earth, does not put on airs, wastes no time trying to impress anyone but rather goes about his or her business." As Carl mentions, this business will be serving, pitching in where needed and just carrying on with the daily tasks. A humble person is not interested in having the spotlight focused on him or her.
"the monastic “diet”—formal prayer, scripture reading, spontaneous/ personal vocal prayer, work-as-prayer, and contemplative (silent) prayer—needs all these elements to be balanced." This is a very important point. Our prayer life needs balance. Each form of prayer complements the other form. They make us whole.
"Likewise, stability means finding joy in who we are as God’s creations here and now (not just in who we hope to be, someday)." We spend way too much time looking ahead and planning. Enjoy this moment. God is in the now! This is our home.
"Most of the elements of monastic spirituality are adaptable to the lives of people who live “in the world.” Read this book! You will be blessed! And then go back and re read it.
March 15, 2025
Full of interesting ideas and lessons. Might be of usefulness to any Christian, unfortunately likely only of interest to a few.
Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews