Adoption Addiction Absolution: An Adopted Boy's Life: Hijacked as recounted by his mother

by Lorraine Wheeler, Ken Wheeler (Photographer)

This is a story about an adoption and the journey both the adoptee and his adoptive parents experienced as they tried to cope with a battery of challenges that eventually overwhelmed best efforts and intentions. Adoptees face a myriad of issues as they grow and develop. These include abandonment, attachment, bonding, loss, lack of a historical narrative and more. Adoptive parents are challenged by their own denial, the adoptees disguised anger, the adoptees acting out behaviors and their own unfinished business of not producing biological children. Birthmothers never forget they gave birth; and they, too, are caught in the cycle of loss and grief as they often relinquish their children against their will. This adoption triad is challenged to promote normalcy in a complex situation.My story will focus on how meeting these challenges becomes even more difficult when addiction, dramatic losses and catastrophic disease combine to create obstacles for the adoptee as he tries to grow and develop a sense of self and mature into an adult who can function in society. The question of nature versus nurture will be discussed with an authentic appraisal of this controversial issue. Parental responses such as tough love, addressing learning disabilities, special schools, addiction treatments and finally reunion with a biological family will be discussed as we accompany a boy on his journey to manhood and identity formation. Using the unique perspective of one family you will learn what seemed to work and what did not. Adoption changes families and you will discover the emotional complexity one family experienced as they traveled this difficult road.In this fast paced era of internet reunions, the increasing frequency of international adoptions, this story will provide a valuable tool for adoptive parents and adoptees trying to cope and feeling they may have nowhere to turn. Understanding that you are not alone and others have traveled this rocky path may help alleviate some of the stresses and strains. You will also be introduced to the most amazing therapeutic dog. You will never forget him.Lorraine Wheeler, R.N., M.S.N is a clinical nurse specialist with a clinical focus on mental health and has practiced nursing for over forty years. Her practice focused on women’s issues, group therapy, multi-cultural issues, stress management education and consultation. She has taught nursing, published in the nursing literature and also worked in hospice care. She is now retired and enjoying two beautiful grandchildren.

111 pages, Kindle Edition

First published March 30, 2015