Dork Diaries: Holiday Heartbreak
Probably the worst book I have ever read in my entire life. This heap of cow dung was farted out by Rachel Renee Russell. This novel was concerning our infernal main character; Nikki as she goes through brain-melting drama. The book can hardly be categorised as having a plot, it’s more like this girl rambles incoherently into her diary and we are supposed to laugh. Never in my life have I seen a worse representation of pre-teen human beings. This girl is supposed to be a likable character while she comes off as just evil, making what she categorises as mistakes but come off more as hate-filled acts of psychopathy and brutality. I think that lightning was captured in a bottle with Diary of a Wimpy Kid, beautifully illustrating the inner frustrations and thought process of the youth of the western world but DD is just a failure in all ways Diary of a Wimpy Kid was successful. The way this book was written is very bizarre and irritating with varying sizes of text, unnecessary use of exclamation points and smiley faces which, from a literary standpoint, is sloppy and pandering. This book comes off not so much as a novel but more like the diaries of a Psychopathic young woman who cares about nothing other than dancing with her air-headed crush. The illustrations in this book are simply horrendous. Looking at them is like a kick to my testicals, they give me the eye-equivalent of a nose bleed, they are clustered, unattractive, awkward and overall unpleasant to look at. DOAWK had pictures that were simple but I thought that a kid had drawn them and I think they even did a good job of conveying the story in a humorous way. It looks like Rachel really wanted to look better than DOAWK by having more human-appearing, detailed images but it failed so badly because they are so uncomfortable to look at. All of the characters don’t have fingers as much as they have mittens on all the time which I can’t even begin to understand why, it only adds the weirdness of the images. If you asked what the worst part of this book was, I would definitely say it was the main character; probably the most unintentionally horrible person in literature. Greg from DOAWK had some very unkind and mean spirited moments but this girl is just awful, my mouth was agape for the whole time due to how shallow and cruel she was. She created infernal dramas for no reason and her intentions were always so confused. She is uncomfortably obsessed and an over-all terrible representation of our modern youth. Rachel clearly does not understand anything about what it is like to grow up or be in those situations. It would make me sick if I discovered that this character was in any way based off of a real person because whoever it is desperately needs psychological analysis. The style in which this book is written is disgustingly inept. It at some points wants to be a simple DOAWK style journal with occasional unrelated stories and instances that don’t necessarily contribute to the story, at other points it wants to act as a straight forward story, jam-packed with vomit-inducing stereotypes and archetypes which simply do not exist in the real world. Unfortunately for this heap of pandering vomit, it fails as a traditional, coherent story and as a DOAWK style journal. As I said earlier, DOAWK deviated occasionally from the story into little stories that were charming and delightful. When this book does it, it is simply cringe-worthy. Almost always, DOAWK would, even if it was minimal, bring these little stories so that they had at least something slightly to do with the story. In Dork Diaries, when it does little deviations, it is simply awful. It tries to tell these stories that, from what I can tell, are trying to exist in the realms of reality but are just painful to read the author stumbles through the text trying to be humorous. The worst of these little sub-stories was where our main character was going to swim class and, for some reason, adorns a floating pool toy to insure she will not sink when she swims, the device then, sadly, gets stuck to her waist and she is humiliated by her swim class. This story hurt me on levels that I had only felt when family-members died or when I watched terrorist acts on the television. And as I said earlier, this little sub-story has absolutely nothing to do with the overall story and it doesn’t even make very much sense that they are having a swim class in early February. I can imagine that many would think that I am not the intended demographic for this book and that is something I fully acknowledge. I had also stumbled across and read a Barbie book and a My Little Pony book and both of them, while I did not enjoy them; I acknowledged that, for their demographic, they were decent and harmless. I feel as though this book is actually harmful. Should any young girl look to this monster of a character and think that these actions are ok is terrifying. All of the advertisements of Dork Diaries feature a hip, cool, stylish girl and so do all of the dreadful pictures in the book and if they wanted to portray a flawed main character, her appearance would be far different. She is, most undeniably, the character that is meant to be related to and always feels justified in all of her acts and yet is filled with such wickedness. With Diary of a Wimpy kid, the cover and the illustrations portray a not very attractive, indifferent pre-teen who is, as soon as you see him, not a perfect guy. I am all for flawed main characters but, especially with children, when your mentally deranged protagonist is seen wearing trendy clothing and winking with an appearance of pure-self justification in all of the pictures in the book, it is simply terrible. Greg in DOAWK was obviously sometimes having some inner turmoil when he did something bad and if not, he did get in some sort of trouble for it. It showed that when you do bad things, there are going to be some unpleasant repercussions but with Nikki in Dork Diaries, she gets away with almost all of her wickedness, she doesn’t even learn any sort of lesson, she just keeps on prancing through her cutesy, fruity little world. I hate this book so much, I hope that if you have not read it, you do not.