Into The Deep End

by Leesa Freeman

Before doesn't exist-not for Luke Stevenson-not anymore. He once dreamt of winning Olympic gold and escaping his crappy little New Mexico town, but that dream shattered the night a drunk driver took his twin sister and confined him to a wheelchair. Mourning Bethany and struggling to cope with his new paraplegic life, Luke is blind with rage at everyone and everything. Adriana Toomey, the only other survivor of the crash, can barely crawl out of bed after burying her fiance, Luke's best friend. But what haunts her most, she has no memory of that fatal night. An old friend who manages a camp for special needs kids, strong-arms the broken pair to act as counselors for three weeks. Seeing each other again is painful. Luke reminds Adriana too much of the man she was going to marry. Luke, who secretly loves his best friend's girl, has no idea how to be the kind of man any woman would want. Disabled and destroyed, what could he possibly have to offer now? Maybe nothing. Maybe everything."

212 pages, Paperback

First published March 10, 2015

About the author

A native Texan, Leesa Freeman enjoys escaping the chill of New England, if only in her imagination, often setting her stories in the places she loved growing up. Some of her favorite moments are the ones where it’s just her, her Mac, and simply conversing with the people who live inside her head, and sharing their lives with those who take the time to read her stories. She lives in Connecticut with her husband and two daughters, where she is also an artist, an avid baker, and a self-proclaimed music snob. She can be found on her blog at http://www.leesafreeman.com/ and on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/LeesaFreeman.

Reviews

[C.P. Cabaniss · Rating 4 out of 5]

"I knew without a shadow of a doubt that all it would take to fall was a whisper, a featherlight touch, a breath, and I'd shatter in her hands."

This novel is full of emotional highs and lows, love, heartache, the deep chasms created by profound loss. It has all of this and more. The novel is told in first person from Luke's perspective, picking up months after the accident that put him in a wheelchair. We get to see him struggle with himself, trying to embrace the life that he can't change.

I have always had an extreme fear of breaking my back, or having some other form of spinal injury, so reading about Luke's injury was intense for me. Maybe if I didn't have that fear I wouldn't have appreciated this portion so much, but when he talked about his injury I felt his pain. I felt like I was there, feeling what he felt. It would definitely be a challenge to have to face all of the tasks you once did with ease, now knowing if you would ever be able to do them again.

Luke was a great main character. His struggles were so true to life and charged with intense emotion. Freeman did a wonderful job showing his pain over the loss of his sister and best friend. His memories of Bethany were some of the most powerful things in the novel for me. I felt like she was just as much a character as any of the living characters, and I really appreciated that. Sometimes I feel like these characters are glossed over in novels, and we don't really get to see how they shaped the other characters, but here it was great to see just how important Bethany had been in Luke's life.

The relationship between Luke and Adriana was beautiful and sad as well. Obviously there was some form of survivors guilt after the accident and again we actually get to experience some of that guilt and pain along with them. It really was beautiful.

The rest of the characters were great too. I really enjoyed Gina. She was so full of life and wanted to push everyone to be the best they could be. It was great. Uncle Wally and the rest of the people at the ranch were great during their appearances as well. And Will was a great friend to Luke and Adriana. Luke and Adriana's families were also a great addition to the story. You got to experience some of the pain of the accident from several different perspectives.

Overall it was a really nice, emotion infused novel. There is some strong language at times and a few sexual scenes, but none particularly graphic. If you enjoy contemporary novels, you are likely to enjoy this. Be prepared for an emotionally charged read infused with life lessons about learning to face your fears and continuing to live even through heartbreak.

You can read this and other reviews on my blog at www.courtneysreads.blogspot.com

[Yawatta Hosby · Rating 5 out of 5]

yawattahosby

**I received a free copy in exchange for a honest review**

I loved this heartbreaking novel. I was wiping tears away left and right. The opening sentence: “Before didn’t exist. Not for me. Not anymore.” hooked my interest right away. And, I thought it was cool that the main character was American Indian. I enjoyed hearing about some of his culture.

My favorite line was: “You’re always alone. Ever since that night you’ve done nothing but be alone.” The story was written in Luke’s first person point of view, which really highlighted how much he was broken. As a reader, I cared for Adriana since he loved her so much. I really rooted for them but sometimes you have to let someone you love go and be free.

The story focused on the camp, then Luke’s life afterward. This was a tearjerker, and had many uplifting scenes. I could see the story as a Lifetime movie because the author was able to capture a vivid picture with her descriptions.

I RECOMMEND this book to read.

[♡ Jeri's Book Attic ♡ Jeri the Romance Bibiliophile ♡ · Rating 4 out of 5]

[Anna Marie · Rating 3 out of 5]

A story about a young man, his sister, his best friend and the best friend's girlfriend getting in a car crash. The sister and best friend die. The young man is left a T-11 incomplete paraplegic, while the girl has blocked it and is suffering emotional trauma. She has always had his heart, but he'd moved over for his best friend.

The story is very well written, the characters a little stereotyped but nothing to terrible. The thing I didn't like (that stole a star) was that the relationship we hoped would come to fruition doesn't. Instead, awkwardly another relationship is forced by the author, and it just feels like a badly fitted joint at the end of a good story.

I also get sick of the token homosexual relationship as secondary in the story. Statistics state that only 4% of the population in America is LGBTQ, and yet every. single. TV series, movie, and book has to have one. It's like life isn't complete without one. How about including a minister, instead? Or a veteran, or an Asian, or a divorcee? I'm just saying - there seems to be a ridiculous slant, and it feels SO much like pandering, anymore. Like politicians who put on a southern accent to win the vote - authors insert LGBTQ characters to pander to readers. It sits badly, anymore.

I also wasn't sure I was okay with her not addressing the parts of his disability that should've mattered - was he cathed, self-cathing, in-dwelling? What about spasms, what about mobility issues - he seemed to have no difficulties with moving around, at all, and for someone so recently out of an accident, you would think there would be more adjustment. It seemed too pat, almost.

On the other hand, it was a very good, very fluid read. So in the end, I *would* recommend it. I just have triggers, and a few were set off, by the author. Personal problem, alone.

[Cynthia · Rating 5 out of 5]

*I received an e-ARC of this book from the author in exchange for an honest review*

Review also posted on Let’s Say It’s A Blog

Fellow song: Lanterns by Birds of Tokyo

I loved this book!
Yeah, Into the Deep End left a deep mark in my heart. I always find a book with flawed main characters is the most interesting book to read. Even though sometimes it’s kind of frustrating to see they fight their own demon, I find joy when they finally able to prove their worth. Moreover if there’s love involved. And this book managed to give me that and with a bonus of inspiring lesson of life.

Luke Stevenson’s life might be the life that everyone’s been dreaming of. Attractive appearance, gorgeous swimmer-body, promising future education and career, best friends, beautiful twin sister. He had it all and thought that life sometimes could be really nice to some people. But one miserable night changed his life completely into the life he could never imagine before. Tragic car accident left really deep holes in his life. Luke lost his adorable twin sister and his best friend. And he had to mourn over the awful losses from a wheelchair that only God knows until when he would need in his life. Luke spent his days hating everyone around him ever since. He even hated himself, God, how he hated himself so damn much. How he hated to be in a wheelchair, how he hated everyone who gave him pity look, how he hated the way his parent cope up with the loss of their only daughter, how he hated the stupid drunk who crashed their car that night, how he hated to be the one who’s left alive, how he hated seeing Adrianna -who was used to be his dream girl- now, because she was like the representative of everything that he lost that night.

Paraplegic with mental scar might not be a really good picture to imagine for every living person. If only he got to choose, he would always choose to exchange places with his sister forever. Dealing with his flawed soul took a hell lot of energy he had inside. Not helping to have parents who didn’t deal well with their own grieves. That’s why going to Camp Caballero seemed like a really bad idea for him. Not just because it was a camp where he would be one of the volunteer for kids ‘like-him’ but also he would spend entire time on the camp with Adrianna. He must have done a very fatal sin in the past to be punished to this extent.

When Gina, the other volunteer on the camp, the cheerful soft hearted and determined Gina invaded his comfort zone and slowly peeling the insecurities that he didn’t know he was covered in, would it be the end of his constant gloominess? What he didn’t know was that the camp might not be his form of punishment like he thought so; it might be some kind of clarity if he took the right step and chose the right person to spend time during his present there. Would Luke be able to prove one of the two facts? The former or the latter, it was only these certain things that Luke had to do to find out: fight his own conflict, join the camp and let people in along with all the risks they brought with them.

Into the Deep End actually had a very simple plot, the climax barely made an appearance but the whole purpose of the story was shown clearly and really uplifting. I’ve read book with paraplegic main character before. But it wasn’t focusing on how paraplegic could go on with his life (it was the reverse, though), so it was kind of depressing and heartbreaking. I’m glad that Ms. Leesa led the angle into positive side. I totally loved how she made Luke’s character here. Yes, he might appear rude in the surface but he had something inside that somehow kept pushing him to stay strong and deal with the storm. I could see some of myself in him, how he didn’t like to show much eagerness in the outside but he kept it in the inside and secretly grew his own strength and passion to achieve it. That’s totally me.
Ms. Leesa did a good job blending some information about paraplegic into the story. I am amazed by all the works she’d done to get a much better understanding of Spinal Cord Injuries (SCI). I’ve never meet a paraplegic before, but now I know that there’s a lot of type of spinal cord injuries and not every SCIs means not being able to use the half down of the body completely. It’s more complex than that. I found myself feel so touched several times. The part where Uncle Wally told the story from his dark moment during the past, I totally lost it there. Also the scenes with the kids on the camp, how they carried themselves around Luke and how Luke silently learned from them, it was one inspiring scene that will forever etched in my mind.

“It’s not doing something that makes you uncool. It’s not doing it that’s not cool.”
-Luke Stevenson-

God, I loved that saying! And when Adrianna recited it and told Luke how she accidentally heard him saying it, God, it’s so damn touching! Oh I also had one other saying that I am a hundred percent totally agree with:

“…letting go didn’t mean I loved him any less, it meant I trusted him enough to not disappear.”

Wow, just how true it is! Way to go, Ms. Leesa!
I think it’s a brilliant step that Ms. Leesa chose to focus on the effect of SCIs on one’s sexual ability. It’s a really important thing that lots of people concern about when they got a SCI or when people they loved got into one. How she used the term ‘changing the definition of sex’ was one great idea. This is where loves play its roles.

“Uncle Wally once said the guy I was is still inside, I just had to let him out. Thing is, I don’t know how you knew how to find him. I don’t know how you helped me figure out how to reach him, but no matter how many times I pushed back, you kept reaching for me.”

I loved how Ms. Leesa made an ending that was not cliché at all. I started reading this book with my own imagination of ending in mind, but it was totally far from what this book offered and I really really loved how it turned out! Loved the epilogue!!!
Into the Deep End is a light read that you’ll definitely enjoy. Despite the awful tragedy, the story didn’t seem depressing, but still can kick your heart with enough push to make it ache for the character.
And for Ms. Leesa Freeman, thank you for letting me read such an amazing read to start my reading year! :)

[HB · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved the character development in this book. My one critique though, is that with all of the SCI research Leesa Freeman did, she needed to do some more on Spina Bifida. I would how loved more with the kids. And “dozens of latex balloons” at the prom? Oh no!!! Stay away kids! Latex…even a pencil eraser or banana…isn’t allowed anywhere near a Spina Bifida event. Ppl with SB are allergic or prone to becoming allergic to latex (which is an airborne allergy). Someone would have gone into anaphylactic shock.

[Darla · Rating 4 out of 5]

Though a work of fiction, this book deals honestly and unapologetically with the social, psychological, sexual and emotional issues someone who finds themselves newly disabled struggles with. It’s clear the author meticulously researched the topic of SCI and the aftermath of injury prior to writing the book, which shows great respect to those who are disabled in real life.

[Silvia · Rating 3 out of 5]

I tried so so desperately to love this book....I really really tried. Sadly I didn't. I thought it was boring an very slow.....like being stuck in molasses.

[Nancy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Relly good read

[Angela Goodrich · Rating 5 out of 5]

Into the Deep End has got to be one of the saddest yet most hopeful heart wrenching books I have read in a while. Even knowing what it's like to lose my best friend and soul mate, I still cannot fathom the loss that Luke experienced, especially at such a young age. He lost the best friend he had in his twin sister, his best friend Rob, the use of his legs, his college scholarship, and his future in competitive swimming, including an almost guaranteed spot at the Olympics. The level of depression and anger that Luke exhibits at the beginning of the book is completely understandable. Which is what makes the change he undergoes throughout the course of the book so beautiful.

The book opens with Luke basically being forced by his father to go with Adriana to work as a counselor at a camp for persons with Spina Bifida and spinal cord injuries (SCIs). As the only other survivor of the accident, Adriana’s presence is a painful reminder of all that Luke lost that night. The idea of being stuck with her at a camp for other people in wheelchairs in the middle of nowhere for three weeks is maddening to Luke. That Luke is jealous of Adriana’s inability to remember the accident while Adriana is resentful that he can remember but won’t tell her does not help their situation at all. As much as he didn’t want to be there and despite his attempts to leave, being at the camp was exactly what Luke needed so that he could gain a new perspective on the life ahead of him. Because each week of camp was for a different age group (children, tweens/teens, and older teens & adults), Luke learned different lessons. He also benefited from the physical therapist who seemed to channel her inner drill sergeant when working with Luke. But Luke was not the only one who benefited from the camp – Adriana also showed signs of healing and the two were able to reconnect and begin planning for life after camp.

Despite only being three weeks in length, the time at camp spanned just over half of the novel as it was imperative that Luke, and Adriana, have the chance to begin the healing process. It also gave the reader time to become acquainted with Will and Gina, who play a big part in Luke’s life after camp is finished as he moves into an apartment in their complex at Will’s urging. That Gina grew up with a father who also had an SCI gave her a perspective that was vital to Luke’s continued improvement post-camp. I will admit that I was angry and sad on Luke’s behalf when Adriana began dating. Yet Ms. Freeman provided a resolution to Luke’s love life that was perfect. I was impressed with the way the author addressed Luke’s concerns about his sexuality – or lack thereof in his mind – and the importance of finding that person who accepts you as you are. I absolutely loved this book and stayed up until 2 am to finish it because I had to know how it ended and it was sooooo worth it. But be forewarned, don’t start this book without a serious supply of tissues because I found myself crying both tears of sadness and joy while reading Into the Deep End.

I received a complimentary copy of the book in exchange for an honest review.
Reviewed by Angela at Crystal's Many Reviewers!

[A. S. · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received this book as part of the Goodreads Giveaways program.

I wanted to like this book more than I did. Into the Deep End tells the story of Luke Sanderson, a teenager who recently became confined to a wheelchair after an accident involving a drunk driver. The only other survivor of the crash was his best friend's fiance, Adriana, on whom he had harbored a longtime crush; she is haunted by the fact that she can't remember what happened during the crash. Luke's twin sister Bethany and his best friend Rob died at the scene. To get their minds off their troubles, Adriana and Luke volunteer as camp counselors at a camp for children with spina bifida, where they meet Gina and Will, counselors who eventually become their friends. Luke, who had been training for the Olympics as a swimmer, is bitter about his new life. The rest of the book involves his romances and trying to rebuild his life.

The Good: Freeman is a master at crafting a voice for her protagonist. Snarky, bitter, and sarcastic, Luke's anger is very believable and real. I don't want a perfect protagonist. I want someone flawed yet with a kernel of good who grows throughout the book. The romance aspect is also handled pretty well at the end, though I wish there was more development with the person who eventually becomes Luke's girlfriend. I like how the book explores the ramifications of loss on friends and family.

The Bad: Not a fan of the pacing; it is quite uneven. Some of the things we learn about Luke needed to have come earlier (that swimming was his ticket out of his shitty hometown, and that all his clothes were from Goodwill because he is poor). I would have favored more description on the physical therapy, less interaction with the love interest he isn't going to end up with. There are movements in scenes and introductions of new characters that could have been cut out to focus on the main players and driving the plot forward. Bethany shows up as a spirit in the beginning, but never again. The purple prose got a bit much at times; I've never seen so many blue/green/flashing eyes outside of fanfiction. There's also the fact that occasionally Luke describes one of his love interests as being similar to his twin, Bethany. Usually that person ends up being alone, right? Not so here, he actually ends up with this character, making me think that Luke's relationship with Bethany was...incestuous I guess.

I'd probably read another book by the same author, so the book is good enough that it doesn't turn me off from her work. It just needs some refinement.

[Heather Osborne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reviewed on behalf of Readers' Favorite:

Into the Deep End by Leesa Freeman is a novel of overcoming the impossible and striving to new challenges. Luke Thompson knew he wanted to swim in the Olympics, but a horrible car accident shattered those dreams. Not only did he lose his twin, Bethany, but his best friend, Rob, in one tragic moment. Left paralyzed from the waist down, Luke withdraws, not wanting to face the world. When Adriana, Rob’s girlfriend and the fourth passenger in the car that night, urges him to come with her to a camp for children with spina bifida, Luke meets two charismatic counselors, Will and Gina. As the three weeks of camp progress, Luke begins to realize all his hopes and dreams are still possible. Deciding to leave home, he embarks on new discoveries and opportunities. Can he move forward past the haunting events of that faithful night?

Miss Freeman has done an exceptional job evoking emotion in her novel. She wrote Luke’s transition well, clearly illustrating how he grew from the day of the accident to a stronger person. I liked that she took the extra initiative to really research spinal cord injuries. This made the novel all the more realistic. Woven together with Adriana’s story, I found the novel heartwarming and inspiring. There is simply no way to express how I enjoyed this book except I rarely cry at the end of novels. Into the Deep End is sure to touch the lives of anyone who reads it and the author should be proud of her efforts.

[Jamie Campbell · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm not an avid reader. I can't sit and knock off a book in one go. So the test for me is how ready I am to pick a book up again and read on. With Leesa Freeman's book I happily picked it up. I happily re-engaged with her characters.

Why? Because of the interesting premise. It reads, at a prose level, as a romance. And I got the impression from that, that it's slanted towards the romance bods - but I don't know if it will resonate with them particularly. It's probably too realistic. That realism suited me fine.

Also, that it's not really a romance helped me. It's a character study, and an interesting one. Where it lacked for me was that the echo of Luke's previous life in sport didn't come through in a sense that was real for me. It came through as references; mentions even - but that was the limit of it. He wasn't imbued with his previous self. Whereas, say, the Sal character in Kulti was imbued by her sport. So the adjustments in Luke's life were from a blank page to his new now; rather than from a sports life to his new now.

What I liked? I liked the resolution. I liked that Leesa Freeman was comfortable to leave some aspects of the story undone and up to us to decide on. I liked that the revelation that the Luke character had was small and profound; rather than the sort of unbelievable revelation that needs a chorus of blaring trumpets accompanying it.

Like the four stars say: I really liked it.

[Annika · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really, really wanted to love this book.

Although, fortunately, neither me personally nor anyone in my circle of friends and family is affected by an injury or illness that resulted in paraplegia, I think it is an extremely important issue that should be addressed more often. And that's why I'm so sad that this story didn't do it for me.
I liked it. It wasn't at all bad. It was emotional and the main character's anger and despair were tangible. I felt for him. But it was just too slow, too anticlimactic, and I didn't like how it all wrapped up in the end.
There is a HEA, but not the one most of the readers would wish for.

There was one thing, though, some authors may be able to learn one thing or two about from Leesa Freeman:
I am anything but an expert on spinal cord injuries, so I could be totally wrong, but I have a feeling that she either knows a lot about that condition first hand or did a lot of thorough research on it, as well as on the psychological trauma an accident like the one the main characters survived suffered from afterwards.

Anyway, I do recommend reading Into the deep end. There are lots of ecstatic reviews on it, so I guess this is just a case of 'It's not you, it's me."

[Alicia · Rating 5 out of 5]

This one had me at the first word and kept me reading straight through. What a phenomenal story. Leesa Freeman out did herself on this one, and I am certainly glad that she did.

Luke has basically checked out of life after an accident that leaves him paralyzed, his sister and best friend dead, and another friend with limited memory of the accident.

During his time at a camp he doesn't want to be at, Luke begins to heal from the inside out, as does Adrianna, via different mean and in different ways for both of them.

A truly moving novel with such accuracy in regard to paraplegia and other results from the accident, Leesa Freeman writes a novel that is so true to life one is able to truly be a part of this novel from beginning to end; feel all the emotions of each character; and be a part of the slow changes that take place within them both.

A very special novel that is moving, heart wrenching, heartwarming, and very true to life.

This is a definite read for any gender, teens and above, book clubs, etc. This is definitely a book not to missed or put off for too long.

[Maria · Rating 5 out of 5]

Luke's life has changed, and not for the better. After a tragic accident left him partially paralyzed, Luke is filled with anger, grief, guilt, and hopelessness. But when a friend takes him to a camp for children with spinal cord injuries, things change and he finds a new outlook on life. Luke isn't the only character who kept me turning the pages, though. His friends were inspiring, comforting, and encouraging, just the combination that kept Luke pushing ahead. I fell in love with these characters, who gave me moments of hope and sadness. Through it all, the novel carries a great moral for any reader, young or old, who struggles with a hurdle in his life.

Filled with emotion, this novel is a well written story that will keep you turning the pages. The characters are fantastic, and the plot is as happy as it is sad. This is a very inspirational book that will keep anyone persevering. This is a truly enjoyable novel.

[Rebecca Morales · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wanted to love this book. This contained a lot of elements that I normally would enjoy; main character dealing with life changing events, overcoming trauma, and unrequited love . However, it didn’t cohesively come together. There were too many things going on in this 220-something page book.

The story was being rushed, I had to reread certain parts out loud to make sure I was fully understanding. The dialogue felt robotic at times. I only thought the characters of Luke and Gina were well developed. I wish we saw more scenes with them … for that matter I wish there were more camp scenes.

I thought this book would be about him interacting with students and councilors, but it was mostly about what was going on in Luke’s mind. The only time the campers or other minor characters was to pull the story force the story forward.

I give this story a C.

[Kris Jayne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Into the Deep End tells a deeply emotional story centered around a character who frustrated me in the beginning -- even as I knew I couldn't understand the depth of the loss he's suffered. The author infused the story with enough depth of feeling to keep me rooting for Luke. I enjoyed following his journey to discover a new life that's about more than just having survived something horrific, but where he finds new ways to connect with others and transform himself.

Freeman's writing is descriptive and immersive, and I can't wait to read what else she has to offer.

[Selina · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a great book! It did not go where I expected which was actually a nice change. The characters are realistic and I could really feel their emotions throughout. I did feel like the ending was rushed and a bit open ended, but it was hopeful and you could see the change in the characters. I'd love a sequel, though it would likely just be happily ever after fluff, which is awesome.

[Wendy Lanyon · Rating 2 out of 5]

it was OK really slow and didn't really keep my interest.

[Jo Gillespie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love how this author writes-beautifully written. This author has a keen understanding of human relationships that shines through her characters and her narration. Good job!

[Amy Collins · Rating 3 out of 5]

I truly wanted to love this book...I was there...until...I wasn't. :/

[BookloverIAM · Rating 2 out of 5]

Good informational story but the story line bouncing between his feelings with Gina and Adriana was confusing at best.

[Staphysagria · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really loved the story.