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Red Star Tattoo: My Life as a Girl Revolutionary
Winner of the Edna Staebler Award for Creative Non-Fiction
Finalist for the Hilary Weston Writers' Trust Prize for Nonfiction
Red Star Tattoo is Sonja Larsen's unforgettable memoir of a young life spent on the move, from hardscrabble Milwaukee to dreamy Hawaii, from turbulent Montreal to free-spirited California. At the age of 16, Sonja joins a cult-like communist organization in Brooklyn--unaware of the dark nature of what awaits her.
A small, skinny 8-year-old girl holding a teddy bear stands by the side of a country road with a young man she barely knows. They're hitchhiking from a commune in Quebec to one in California. It is 1973 and somehow the girl's parents think this is a good idea.
Sonja Larsen's is a childhood in which family members come and go and where freedom is both a gift and a burden. Her mother, thrown out of home as a pregnant teenager by her evangelical preacher father, is drawn to the utopian ideals and radical politics of communism. Her aunt Suzie is gripped by schizophrenia, her behaviour so erratic she eventually loses custody of her daughter. And then there is her cousin Dana, shunted back and forth long-distance between her parents--Dana, whose own need to escape leads to tragedy.
Looking for a sense of family, searching to belong, to have your life mean something--this is what all these girls and young women share. As a teenager, Larsen moves to Brooklyn, embedding herself with an organization known publicly as the National Labor Federation and privately as the Communist Party USA Provisional Wing. Over her three years at the organization's national headquarters, Larsen works sixteen-hour day, eager to prove herself. Noticed and encouraged by the Old Man, the organization's charismatic leader, he makes her one of his "special girls," as well as the youngest member of the organization's militia and part of its inner circle. But even as she and her comrades count down the days on the calendar until the dawning of their new American revolution, Larsen's doubts about the cause and the Old Man become increasingly difficult to ignore.
Red Star Tattoo explores the seductions and dangers of extremism, and asks what it takes to survive a childhood scarred by loss, abuse and the sometimes violent struggle for belonging.
Finalist for the Hilary Weston Writers' Trust Prize for Nonfiction
Red Star Tattoo is Sonja Larsen's unforgettable memoir of a young life spent on the move, from hardscrabble Milwaukee to dreamy Hawaii, from turbulent Montreal to free-spirited California. At the age of 16, Sonja joins a cult-like communist organization in Brooklyn--unaware of the dark nature of what awaits her.
A small, skinny 8-year-old girl holding a teddy bear stands by the side of a country road with a young man she barely knows. They're hitchhiking from a commune in Quebec to one in California. It is 1973 and somehow the girl's parents think this is a good idea.
Sonja Larsen's is a childhood in which family members come and go and where freedom is both a gift and a burden. Her mother, thrown out of home as a pregnant teenager by her evangelical preacher father, is drawn to the utopian ideals and radical politics of communism. Her aunt Suzie is gripped by schizophrenia, her behaviour so erratic she eventually loses custody of her daughter. And then there is her cousin Dana, shunted back and forth long-distance between her parents--Dana, whose own need to escape leads to tragedy.
Looking for a sense of family, searching to belong, to have your life mean something--this is what all these girls and young women share. As a teenager, Larsen moves to Brooklyn, embedding herself with an organization known publicly as the National Labor Federation and privately as the Communist Party USA Provisional Wing. Over her three years at the organization's national headquarters, Larsen works sixteen-hour day, eager to prove herself. Noticed and encouraged by the Old Man, the organization's charismatic leader, he makes her one of his "special girls," as well as the youngest member of the organization's militia and part of its inner circle. But even as she and her comrades count down the days on the calendar until the dawning of their new American revolution, Larsen's doubts about the cause and the Old Man become increasingly difficult to ignore.
Red Star Tattoo explores the seductions and dangers of extremism, and asks what it takes to survive a childhood scarred by loss, abuse and the sometimes violent struggle for belonging.
272 pages, Hardcover
First published January 12, 2016
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282 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 34 reviews
June 26, 2017
How is truth defined? I wrote this down. I put a star beside this. I underlined this. I traced the ink lines of my words on the page. When I first went to Brooklyn, I wanted the red star tattoo that some of the old timers like Rena had. Sitting in the classroom I wanted it more than ever. I wanted some proof of where I'd been, proof it all happened. If not the truth, then at least this. Evidence. A testament to my faith, a scar to remember it by.
Red Star Tattoo is an incredible and fascinating memoir of a childhood lived within the counterculture; from commune to cadre. Written in a clear and thoughtful voice, and with obvious affection for the parents who messed her up, author Sonja Larsen has produced a compelling life story. When Larsen was a little girl in the late Sixties, her hippy parents moved her and her big sister from state to state in search of a utopian lifestyle, eventually settling down on a commune outside Montreal. When she was eight, Larsen's parents decided to move once again, to Northern California, and as everyone knows that having a child along while hitchhiking makes the cars stop sooner, they allowed a twenty-something drifter to take their daughter on the road with him to their new home. This kind of laissez-faire parenting defined Larsen's childhood – surrounded by adults who would invite her to watch them having sex or offer her “baby hits” of acid; sent to an anything goes alternative school if she was sent at all – and although she knew her parents loved her, when they split up and she (at nine) was given the freedom to choose where she would live, the constant shifting between her dad in Quebec and her mom in California meant that Larsen never felt like she truly belonged anywhere at all.
Ever the idealist, Larsen's mother began volunteering for the California Homemaker's Association – running a soup kitchen and clothing bank, soliciting donations and handing out recruitment flyers – but as mom's new friends began dropping comments about the coming revolution and teaching little Sonja about dialectics and the evils of capitalism, it becomes clear that this innocuous sounding group is actually a front for a militant offshoot of the Communist Party. Personal tragedy and a feeling of not belonging force Larsen to move once again to live with her (now drug dealing) father, and when he eventually decided to marry his new girlfriend, Larsen determined to join the revolution and moved to Brooklyn and the National Office Central of the Communist Party USA, Provisional Wing. Just sixteen, Larsen would spend the next three years devoting herself to what was essentially a doomsday cult wrapped in a veneer of humanitarianism.
It's easy, in hindsight, to see what led Larsen to join what was in essence a cult: she didn't feel that she belonged anywhere; her parents had always made her believe that any choice that felt good was the right one; her mother's hippy idealism made her believe that toppling the power structures of society would free the downtrodden from their chains of poverty. And who wouldn't want to be on the winning side of the coming revolution? Once she became a full party member, it's also easy to see why Larsen stayed, even despite the abuse she suffered: she believed in the cause; she was selected for the inner circle; with sexual manipulation, micromanagement of her time, and working to exhaustion, Larsen was controlled in all the same ways used by cults everywhere (her story totally reminded me of Jenna Miscavige Hill's childhood in Scientology as described in Beyond Belief).
In the darkness of his office, I thought about the thousand different ways there were not to be strong enough. You could want things, like music or your own underwear or to hug a dying relative goodbye one last time. You could daydream about things, like taking a bath or spending a day alone or kissing somebody. You could remember people you loved or the life you had. You could forget why you were here, what you were working for. You could try and sleep all day, or not be able to sleep at night. There were a thousand different ways to be weak. But the only way to be strong was to stay.
As the Revolution Day of Feb. 18, 1984 came and went without an uprising, a disillusioned Larsen was eventually able to break free. Now working with troubled youth in Vancouver's notorious Downtown Eastside, it would seem that the author is able to put her unique history, knowledge, and idealism to valuable use. This is an extraordinary memoir, a fascinating read, and I wish Sonja Larsen all the best.
November 10, 2017
SL takes what could be described as an unorthodox, harrowing childhood and turns it into an off-Broadway musical. Born into the counterculture, her resilience and inquisitive nature led her to challenge life rather than to just complain about it.
This is an interesting, spirited, insiders take on the revolution that got nipped in the bud.
Which is why I'm bumping a darn good 3,5 star book up to a 4/5
in my system. 4/7
This is an interesting, spirited, insiders take on the revolution that got nipped in the bud.
Which is why I'm bumping a darn good 3,5 star book up to a 4/5
in my system. 4/7
July 4, 2016
A heartbreaking memoir written by my cool af neighbour. Growing up in a commune (think unstable, not idyllic), hitchhiking from Montreal to SF at 8 years of age with some random dude (her dad said something like, wow, look at all the choices you have at your age), molested by her mother's boyfriend and then her best friend murdered. As a young teen, she moves to Crown Heights in Brooklyn to a communist revolutionary group (aka cult) led by the Old Man. After 3 years waiting for the revolution while getting entrapped within the inner workings of the cult, she makes her escape. A crazy story and a fucked up family sure makes for a page-turning memoir.
December 1, 2022
Like a lot of people said, it took a good while to find its footing. This book didn’t leave me emotional until the last chapter. And now I am sitting in a Starbucks near tears over the acknowledgments? Something about this story hit me very late in the game.
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February 9, 2022I felt quite lost while read this.
*This was sent to me from Penguin Random House Canada.*
*This was sent to me from Penguin Random House Canada.*
December 24, 2016
~3.5 stars. It started off a little confusing/disjointed and uneven, but once it settled into the story of the author's teen years spent as a "revolutionary" it found its stride. A fascinating look into a branch of the Communist Party during the '80s, from the point of a view of a young girl who lived it. Sonja Larsen peels back the facade of this organization to reveal its sordid truths, and the story is told in such a way that one can easily see how the author was drawn to the party, and internalized and normalized its many troubling realities.
June 30, 2018
A head-shaking story: what type of parent allows their 8 yo child to go hitchhiking across Canada without them? And yet, her parents did. And that was just the start for this autobiography. Her parents joined a commune, then her mother left for the US, became a communist and followed a cult leader. But her mother rose nowhere near as far in the organization as Sonja did, by joining the main office and becoming a lover of “The Old Man”. She was 16 or so when she went there for God’s sake! And, for all those following his every word, he was a wretched soul, definitely a cult leader, counting down the days until the revolution. He may have been the one to pull the plug: on the day of the revolution, first nothing, then a police raid. And the wondrous leader? He got into the dumb-waiter shaft. Showing there is a God, it couldn’t support his weight, and he broke his leg. Gormless wonder! Larsen managed to come out the other side of all of this and has a good marriage and a relationship with her parents (though with her mother there are topics they avoid—like how her mother knew her boyfriend was sexually assaulting Larsen but did nothing). It was a good book, I recommend it. But as this write up shows, it also made me angry. A problem with non-fiction I suppose.
July 3, 2017
This book wasn't what I expected from the jacket so I'm glad I gave it a chance. I had expected a memoir based on youthful self-righteousness, which would have been off-putting. This wasn't the case and made me rethink the type of people who join cult movements. The author was yearning for a sense of purpose and belonging, excited about being part of a greater cause and clinging to this cause even as she began to observe the dark truth behind it all. She is a keen observer of her own pyschology and has an astute self-awareness that is surprising for someone with her history (e.g. high school drop out, few role models.) I admire this ability to examine one's own thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and judgements in such an honest and insightful way. Which makes this an effective memoir at the end of the day. It's all about figuring yourself out - the best in you and the worst in you. Making sense of it and changing course to a path that works for you.
October 26, 2017
CN - discusses sexual assault, childhood sexual assault, cults, abuse
This book was engaging and easy to read - I found it hard to put down, and ate through it incredibly quickly. Larsen's prose flowed easily, and felt almost conversational at times.
My one issue with the book was that I felt like I could have used a little more depth to it. I'm not entirely sure what I'm asking for here, but despite the heavy subject matter, I did find that I could have used a little more introspection in the book. I also found that Larsen's narrative jumped around a bit, and I would have liked more context.
Larsen does do an impressive job of discussing trauma without making her book too difficult to read. I think it is still potentially triggering for some, but Larsen's style of writing didn't make it feel harrowing to read, (in my opinion) despite the severity of incidents she describes.
This book was engaging and easy to read - I found it hard to put down, and ate through it incredibly quickly. Larsen's prose flowed easily, and felt almost conversational at times.
My one issue with the book was that I felt like I could have used a little more depth to it. I'm not entirely sure what I'm asking for here, but despite the heavy subject matter, I did find that I could have used a little more introspection in the book. I also found that Larsen's narrative jumped around a bit, and I would have liked more context.
Larsen does do an impressive job of discussing trauma without making her book too difficult to read. I think it is still potentially triggering for some, but Larsen's style of writing didn't make it feel harrowing to read, (in my opinion) despite the severity of incidents she describes.
May 6, 2017
43. Red Star Tattoo: my Life as a Girl Revolutionary by Sonya Larsen
The author states that to have an interesting memoir you have to have a screwed up family. She most certainly did, parents who were into communes until they divorced. Then she commuted between her parents in California and Montreal until deciding to join a cell of the Communist party that her mother was in. Sonya ends up at the main house in Brooklyn, and soon becomes the leader’s mistress. But she isn’t the only one, and she begins to see the flaws in her life. Her description of being on watch is paranoia making. (I lived two blocks from that street in the 1980s and had no idea!) This cell was actually far more like a cult and her escape to normality is harrowing.
The author states that to have an interesting memoir you have to have a screwed up family. She most certainly did, parents who were into communes until they divorced. Then she commuted between her parents in California and Montreal until deciding to join a cell of the Communist party that her mother was in. Sonya ends up at the main house in Brooklyn, and soon becomes the leader’s mistress. But she isn’t the only one, and she begins to see the flaws in her life. Her description of being on watch is paranoia making. (I lived two blocks from that street in the 1980s and had no idea!) This cell was actually far more like a cult and her escape to normality is harrowing.
August 26, 2017
Humans..oh humans!!!
We are not born to be revolutionaries, or christians, or racists, or catholics etc. We are RAISED to be those 'things'!! Essentially by a form of brainwashing..raised to be..for the most part..what we will become, by parents or extended family or peers or or or.......
Yep yep yep..
The good part of human life..is that once a human begins to know what is really right or wrong..a choice is made..sometimes over and over..but still choice.
Thank you for the insight and story of part of your life Sonja Larsen.
We are not born to be revolutionaries, or christians, or racists, or catholics etc. We are RAISED to be those 'things'!! Essentially by a form of brainwashing..raised to be..for the most part..what we will become, by parents or extended family or peers or or or.......
Yep yep yep..
The good part of human life..is that once a human begins to know what is really right or wrong..a choice is made..sometimes over and over..but still choice.
Thank you for the insight and story of part of your life Sonja Larsen.
January 10, 2021
A brave telling of a most unusual upbringing and youth, filled with wise observations about humanity and our desire for truth and love in a world of painful contradiction. It launched into some sharp bends and slightly confusing turns that made the timeline hard to follow at the beginning, but I also couldn't put it down. The story was riveting and it was satisfying to see the narrative gain clarity in tandem with the protagonist's own growth and reflection; this gave the memoir a resonance that I could best appreciate only after finishing reading it.
October 26, 2016
Well paced and fascinating this memoir is a quick glimpse into the life of a former, would-be revolutionary. The trauma Larsen experienced at the hands of what were essentially cult leaders is wrenching to read. I hope the author eventually delves into fiction writing as no doubt her miserable youth has given her unlimited capacity for describing human experience.
August 21, 2017
Quite vague. It seemed to be more about her trying to remember blurry details of her past than a story that would develop characters and plot lines. I was also surprised that it would be shelved under 'social science' as the book is not actually about communism. That was simply the revolution she was waiting for while part of a cult, ultimately seeking security.
June 21, 2017
I liked it. A memoir of raw openness and depth. Some of the questions the author asked as a child she continues to ask today without the expectation of answers. She is using her experience by serving youth at risk in British Columbia.
October 15, 2023
I love this quote:
“It goes without saying that you cannot write a family memoir without a fucked up family, and so I thank my family for the bad decisions that made for good stories, and for the good intentions that made it bearable.”
-Red Star Tattoo, by Sonja Larson
“It goes without saying that you cannot write a family memoir without a fucked up family, and so I thank my family for the bad decisions that made for good stories, and for the good intentions that made it bearable.”
-Red Star Tattoo, by Sonja Larson
October 24, 2017
got up part 4 when she is about to leave the community. Electronic version expired.
January 23, 2018
Great memoir about a young woman who escaped a cult.
April 15, 2019
I usually love these kind of books but this one I found boring and anti-climatic. It was a struggle to get through.
March 4, 2021
Really well paced, but (understandably) the author seems a bit emotionally removed from her life story.
March 14, 2025
I can't believe I didn't hear about this book sooner! Great read, what a woman!
April 21, 2016
I enjoyed the objective insight the writer brought to bear on the continual parade of unstable adults she endured. Without the temperament she had and early survival skills she developed, I doubt her life would have ended up as well as it did. The early reading and writing seems to have played a big role in that ability to pull herself up and over circumstances others could have been swept away by.
I would have liked to know more about the time this was set in and think comparing her situation to some of the larger world's events would have grounded the work a bit more.
The writer's style is one I appreciate in memoir: lacking in sentimentality, moralizing and self-pity. Bravo for a first book!
I would have liked to know more about the time this was set in and think comparing her situation to some of the larger world's events would have grounded the work a bit more.
The writer's style is one I appreciate in memoir: lacking in sentimentality, moralizing and self-pity. Bravo for a first book!
February 14, 2016
"It goes without saying that you cannot write a family memoir without a fucked up family. . ." Finally one of these authors nails it! Yet another book written by the survivor of a pretty horrendous upbringing. Raised by hippy parents (I use the term "raised" loosely) before being turned loose as a teenager to fend for herself and ending up in a sort of US Communist Party cult in Brooklyn. When the revolution does not happen on the anointed day, the author decides to pack it in and get out. But the years before that make for interesting reading about life in a revolutionary cult. If stories about terrible parents and resilient kids are your thing, I can recommend this book.
January 20, 2016
My book just arrived in the mail and I can't wait to crack it! After reading many of Larsen's insightful and reflective anecdotes/short stories in a few publications, I eagerly bought her first novel. Larsen has a talent most people don't and that is an intimate ability to understand the inner-workings of the people around her. Never judgmental, always curious, her stories invite you to become the protagonist and experience life from a resilient perspective. I'l let you know if it's as good as I imagine.
January 11, 2016
I couldn't put this book down. What a fantastic story. I'm around the same ago as the author and my parents were semi-hippies - but this is the hard-core version of growing up with counter-culture parents. Plus the writing is incredibly vivid and moving. I had tears running down my face by the end. I will be recommending this book to my book club because I can think of so many people who would enjoy it. A great reading experience.
October 10, 2016
Growing up as a child of the counter culture, Sonja Larsen always longed to belong to something bigger than herself. As a teenager this longing led her to join a revolutionary communist group in New York led by a seductive and frightening charismatic leader. A poignant and insightful autobiography write in spare, poetic prose. Author now lives in Vancouver.
March 28, 2016
With so much shuffling back and forth (California, Montreal, New York), I sometimes found it a bit hard to follow where the story was taking place (which, I suppose, mirrors the author's actual experiences). Also had a hard time imagining the time/year. I expected more to happen.
May 16, 2020
An excellent memoir — surreal but engaging. One of the best I've read lately. The tone reaches towards the lyrical at times and this expands the narrative into the ineffable. So bizarre in places and yet feels so true. The ending was not quite perfect, but everything else was great. Amazing work.
February 21, 2016
An engrossing and thoughtful memoir.
July 21, 2016
super quick read! I really enjoyed it but I wish the author had spent more time on the ending, it felt a little rushed
Displaying 1 - 30 of 34 reviews