The Best of Dear Abby

by Abigail Van Buren

The most provocative letters and wittiest, wisest responses to appear in Dear Abby's twenty-five years of syndication provide a running commentary on the main personal and public issues and the changing mores of the times

Genres: Nonfiction

252 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 1981

About the author

Pauline Phillips (born as Pauline "Popo" Esther Friedman) founded "Dear Abby" in 1956. The current Dear Abby is her first-born child and only daughter, Jeanne Phillips, who now writes under the pen name of Abigail Van Buren, which was also used by Pauline. She also has a son, Edward Jay Phillips.

Pauline Esther Friedman Phillips was an identical twin; her sister, Esther Pauline Friedman Lederer, wrote the Ann Landers column until her death from multiple myeloma in 2002, at age 83. As children, the two grew up in Sioux City, Iowa, and went by the nicknames "Popo" and "Eppie", respectively. Both are alumnae of Morningside College and both wrote for the college newspaper. They were so close then that they had a joint wedding in 1939 when both women were 21 years old. They were both Jewish.

As competing columnists, the sisters occasionally clashed; in 1956, Phillips offered her column to the Sioux City Journal at a reduced price, provided that the paper refused Lederer's column; Life Magazine reported on the offer in 1958.

The sisters publicly reconciled in 1964, although some suggest the acrimony lasted. Phillips has suffered from Alzheimer's disease since at least the 1990s; according to her daughter, her disease is (as of 2006) in its middle stages.

Her husband Morton Phillips and her daughter both state that she did reconcile with her now-deceased sister before Lederer's death. In 2002, when Lederer (Ann Landers) died, Phillips' daughter wrote a Dear Abby column in her memory, to which Margo Howard, Lederer's daughter, came foward and said neither sister had contact in the final years and that Phillips' daughter had only written the column for money. It is unknown if she is aware that Lederer has died. Shortly after Lederer's death, Jeanne Phillips appeared on Larry King Live saying she had told her mother of her sister's death though she had forgotten it a few hours later.

Phillips, who resided in Beverly Hills, California, wrote in a straightforward style that contrasted with Chicago-based Lederer's quips and barbs.

By 1995, when Phillips suffered from the onset of Alzheimer’s disease, her daughter, Jeanne Phillips, assumed all the writing responsibilities of Dear Abby. After the Phillips family publicly announced that Pauline had Alzheimer’s, Jeanne assumed the pen name of Abigail Van Buren.

Reviews

[Sheri · Rating 3 out of 5]

After a short introduction detailing how Dear Abby came to be, the reader is treated to an array of letters from readers that generally deal with life's trials and tribulations. It certainly may be eye-opening to read about others' experiences, both good and bad, although you may just learn a thing or two about human nature and outside-the-box thinking. The letters themselves feel a bit dated but if you imagine those same letters with a modern twist, you'll find that at the core our issues today really aren't much different from 40 years ago.

The last chapter really shows Abigail Van Buren is in tune with her reading audience. They're not all there for the advice, some just want to be heard. Abby is the rock of reason, offering support, guidance, and friendship, and through the years she has provided a small but invaluable service to many. With her trademark grace, wit, and intelligence, Dear Abby most often gets it right by giving us not the answer we seek, but the answer we need to hear. It's up to us to discern the difference.

[Susan · Rating 2 out of 5]

I picked this up because I love advice columns and I thought it would be a breezy, titillating read. It was, in part, but I was appalled by how very dated it was. Some of the outdated notions made me laugh, some made me cringe, and some made me mad.(There was a chapter called “The Homosexual Hassle”! 😳😤) Things have changed since 1981 - thank God!

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

Pauline Esther Phillips - also known as Abigail Van Buren - was an advice columnist and radio show host who began writing her 'Dear Abby' advice column in 1956. During her decades writing the column, it became the most widely-syndicated newspaper column in the world, syndicated in 1,400 newspapers around the world with 110 millions readers. Pauline's twin sister, Esther Pauline Lederer - who took over writing the 'Ask Ann Landers' advice column after the death of Ruth Crowley, the first 'Ann Landers' in 1955 - became estranged from Pauline for a long time, after Pauline introduced 'Dear Abby' a few months after Esther began writing 'Ask Ann Landers'.

Although the sisters publicly reconciled in 1964, acrimony still existed between them until just before Esther's death from blood cancer in June of 2002. The Best of Dear Abby by Abigail Van Buren was actually one of six books written by the popular advice columnist throughout her lifetime. This book is a compilation of the most provocative questions and the wisest and wittiest answers to appear in 'Dear Abby's 33 years of syndication. I give this book an A+!

Abigail Van Buren passed away on January 16, 2013 at the age of 94. She had been battling Alzheimer's Disease for many years. Although her daughter, Jeanne Phillips, had been co-writing the column with Pauline from 1987, Jeanne assumed all writing responsibilities of 'Dear Abby' in 2002 after Pauline was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease.

[Kim · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a fun read, as I grew up reading both Dear Abby and Ann Landers columns. It's interesting to see some of the old letters, and even more fascinating to find that some which were written over 25 years ago are still applicable to today. This is an easy read, and one that I would suggest for when you're in the mood to do some reading but not in the mood to get deep into a plot. It can be picked up, read for a bit, and forgotten again until you find yourself needing a few minutes of lighthearted stories, because that's what they are. They're very short tales about people and their problems, and Dear Abby's solutions.

[Cassandra · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's something funny and unique. Some of the letters were somewhat bizarre but definitely funny and memorable. It's something you can read again and again and not get bored with it. And it's something that you don't see much of these days. And it's not all laughs, it has some sad things too. I definitely recommend this book.

[Rick · Rating 5 out of 5]

As always with Abby, an absolute blast to read all of the entries compiled here. those who classify this as "dated" are lying about reading the book; Here, Abby staunchly defends gay people, trans people, religious freedoms, women's rights, abortion, and even Planned Parenthood. for any public figure to openly defend any of the aforementioned in 1981 was absolutely far ahead of their time. Under the chapter titled "The Sad Ones" so many of the letters made me teary eyed. I loved this book.

[Becky · Rating 3 out of 5]

I actually read "Dear Abby on Marriage" but goodreads didn't have it, thus the wrong book. Dear Abby is hilarious. She has some great advice and a lot of her ideas make sense. But some of them are just plain funny. "Sorry girls, but it's still a man's world." (after advising women not to go to bars for girls night because it will end up with the little woman having an affair). Good stuff. It was a fun, quick read.

[Thomas · Rating 4 out of 5]

Funny

[Abby Stopka · Rating 5 out of 5]

Have always been a fan of the old dear Abby columns. It was nice to read the book. Some of the advice is a bit dated. But in some ways she was very forward thinking and her advice.

[Connie Curtis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Interesting issues people have from the beginning of time. It's all the same. I don't agree with all of her solutions, but I still found the book to be interesting.

From 1981

[Amber · Rating 4 out of 5]

The edition I have is red (well, it has faded to pink) and was published in 1981 soooo yeah. This book is great to read in between other books or on a plane or in the hospital or on a bus or at a family reunion or where ever. It is what it is- advice letters and a little blurb about her tumultuous relationship with her estranged twin.

[ஐ Katya (Book Queen)ஐ · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting fun quick little read. Some was sad, some had happy endings but quite a bit of the book is just plain funny.

[Nicole · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was very emotional for me to read at some parts but over all it as a good back about peoples triumphs and life struggles

[Jen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Published in 1981 and still refreshingly relevant most of the time.

[SouthWestZippy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This Dear Abby book is great. Some stories in here are so funny and others are sad.

[Nicolas · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a fun, quick read. I always enjoy the daily column, so it was nice to go back and read some from the original.

[Lauren · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nobody puts Dear Abby in the corner!