Secret Sister: From Nazi-occupied Jersey to wartime London, one woman’s search for the truth

by Cherry Durbin

The true story of a woman who uncovered the dramatic stories of her mother and sisters with the help of the award-winning television programme, Long Lost Family. Adopted at a young age, Cherry Durbin had spent over twenty years searching for traces of her natural mother and sister. She had given up until one day, watching the drama unfold on the television programme, Long Lost Family, her daughter suggested that maybe this was the only way she would ever find her sister. What she didn’t expect to uncover was a story of a pregnant mother fleeing Nazi-invaded Jersey, a sister left behind to survive the deprivations of the German-controlled island and a family torn apart in a time when war left so many alone. Cherry’s story, pieced together by a team of researchers, would bring her unimaginable sadness and joy, and answers where she had given up.

Genres: Nonfiction, Biography, Memoir, British Literature, War, Historical, History

288 pages, Paperback

First published May 21, 2015

Reviews

[Cindy aka "The Book Fairy" · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was an interesting story while still tragic of course with so much heartache brought about because of the war with death++plus the anguish of separated families torn apart due to evacuation. The biological mother Daisy was rather sketchy in a sense, didn't know what to believe with her and her evasiveness. At least the sisters were able to reconnect and form actual family relationships :)

[Anna · Rating 5 out of 5]

An emotional and beautiful book about the author searching for her birth family. Cherry Durbin knew from a young age that she had been adopted. She loved her adoptive parents dearly so she never felt the need to search up who had given her up. After her adoptive mother passed she started thinking about start a search but she felt it would be disloyal to her adoptive father if she did that. After he passed away she started her search. It took 30 years - many joys and many disappointments for her to find her birth mother. Her birth father had passed away years earlier and she never got to meet him. She had half-siblings but she never felt a deep connection to them. Her birth mother gave her lots of misinformation. After going on a TV show she was aided by the production company to find her long-lost sister and a pleasant surprise.

[Sharon Huether · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is Cherry's story of her life in Great Britton; and finding her sister. To her great surprise she has two sisters.
A lot of hard times came to the family during WWII; especially Cherry's. Her mother gave birth to three girls. They were all adopted to different families. The father was fighting in the war and the mother had little money to care for her daughters.
With the help of the TV program "Long Lost Family" Cherry was able to find her sisters.
It was a heart warming story of great determination and faith spanning over thirty years of searching.
As a result of finding her sisters, she found herself and was able to express her feelings.

[Emily Miller · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think some of these reviews were a bit harsh. This was a women's true story, of course it was from one perspective. While there is some truth to them there, it's a very first person narrative. I found it to be a lovely glimpse into the true story of finding ones family and as a result truly finding oneself. It was a fast and easy read, but I throughout enjoyed following along with Cherry's story and learning about her sisters.

[Jill Robbertze · Rating 4 out of 5]

A woman's true story of how, in searching for her biological parents discovered that she has 2 sisters that she didn't know existed. Aided by the show, "Long Lost Family" she meets and forms lasting relationships that she had always dreamed of. I enjoyed how the author tells of Cherry's early life with her adoptive family and what leads up to her search for her roots. I did find keeping track of all her "new" relatives a bit confusing.... But then I think initially she did too! I really enjoyed this easy read.

[Natasha Jespers · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think I bought this book 6 years ago and just decided to read it. It covered hard subjects from the war and how families were separated. Sadly, I didn’t like it very much because I felt like we couldn’t really understand the biological mother. She apparently said a lot of lies but she died so we couldn’t really know the truth. It must’ve been really confusing for Cherry. But I’m happy she found her sisters and they were able to have a relationship, even at an old age :)

[Kim · Rating 4 out of 5]

A sweet story, especially for those interested in genealogy. Held my interest and was easy to read.

[Jane Robertson · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a quick read. A true story about a woman searching for her sister. Interesting life and family.

[Ashley · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thoroughly enjoyed this book. Cherry's determination to find her biological family was truly admirable. She never gave up.

[Ellen · Rating 1 out of 5]

I read the teaser cover information, and was interested in reading the process of discovery.
However, I did not like the book at all. Why? It dealt too much with one persons' perspective, introspection and details of life not related to the quest. I did not enjoy the telling of the story narrative either. I read to the end to read the result of the quest but I would have happily stopped anywhere.

[Wendy Lovatt · Rating 3 out of 5]

True stories are always a good way to learn about history and the thing I liked about this book was learning a little of the history of Jersey during the war. I had not heard before about what the Channel Islands were like during the war, that the Germans took them over and it has made me want to know more about this.

[Wendy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Interesting story about an adopted child trying to find her birth family. She does find them after being on a British TV show called Long Lost Family.

[Lucy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really love Long Lost Family with Davina McCall and Nicky Campbell, both having had issues with the families when they were young, one with an estranged Mother the other having being given up and adopted.

**************Spoilers***************

I really felt for Cherry, after she was given away she managed to get lucky and be adopted by a lovely family, only to have it all squashed before she was ten years old with her beloved Mother passing away so early and her dad typically remarrying and not putting his daughter first. It just is terribly sad. I didn't like Billie, I think her ideas were backwards on bringing children up, that said, I thought it extremely kind that Cherry still went to see her and sat with her during her final moments, as I'm not sure she'd have done the same for Cherry however, it shows what a lovely person Cherry is and reflects on her character and nature rather than her step-mothers. It's a tribute to her Mother, also as she always had good bits of advice and Cherry adhered to that even in her adulthood which I find heartwarming.

And then there was Daisy, I didn't much like her birth mother and don't know if that's right to say or not, but I felt that she just didn't care about the fact she'd had her kids taken away and her daughter, was trying to find out who she was, get to know her and introduce her to her grandchildren who wanted to know her, yet she really didn't try very hard to get to know her daughter or even her grandchildren hardly at all.

She handled it really badly and instead of just being who she was, lied about herself, her past to make herself sound better, now I don't doubt, she was suffering with her illness but sending her husband to her own daughters' weddings and making it all about her, than her daughter? When she knew more than anything Cherry just wanted her mom at her wedding after long last, ugh. She should have just said she didn't think she could make it and that would have been better for Cherry and she wouldn't have looked back thinking about how much she was wishing her mother could have been bothered to come.

I also wish that Cherry would have just told her how disappointing it was to be let down by her. She needed to be accountable for her actions, times had changed since the war and I felt disappointed that nobody was willing to help Cherry find her sister, even her own relatives, I understand they might not have known etc, but nobody really seemed bothered, I was so glad to find that she had other siblings through the Barton children but again even they seemed to drop off and lose interest which was a real shame. I wished Daisy could have found the strength to have been bothered with her children, regardless of who brought her children up, they wouldn't have cared who she was, they just wanted to know her, I felt Daisy seemed very self centred, not bothering with Shelia, and not even telling her of her sister, Val. I just felt so disappointed with Daisy, though I wanted to feel sorry for her, it must have been tough, but I feel that she wasn't bothered by the two she had adopted and least of all Shelia. Regardless of the estranged and difficult relationship she had with Shelia, she should have still let Cherry know her name and d.o.b so Cherry could search for her and stop making a fuss about writing a story of what happened which didn't even seem to be valid. I don't think her children would have thought less of her despite what happened, but when she continued to tell lies and make no effort, it was clear she didn't care about her other children, only the Barton children, which is fair enough, but she couldn't even admit that to Cherry.

As you can tell Daisy disappointed me the most. She couldn't change the past but she wouldn't try and change the future either.

It's hard to review Cherry's journey without sort of reviewing Daisy and the other people within the story, but I loved her and Val's relationship and felt that after losing her husband, it was really lovely for her to have the sense of belonging and being loved by her sisters, Shelia included. Though, she didn't strike me as pretty close, not as close as Val, I still loved hearing about them being reunited and close and I love that Cherry after such a long and at times, testing life, finally got to be with her wonderful sisters. It was bittersweet to know that the man, Cherry truly loved couldn't be with her during this part of her life, and I felt truly heartbroken for Cherry to read those pages, but I knew even she, this strong wonderful woman would come through it, and I'm sure she does day by day.

Truly such a remarkable story. It deserves to be shared over and over again.

[Clarissa · Rating 3 out of 5]

So this was a book picked for a book club I am in and for that reason it was a good book to read. I look forward to discussing it. As far as if I liked this book...it was okay. I don't read a lot of these true stories so I don't have a lot to compare this book with.
The story of a women adopted out during a tough period in history. Always feeling off because her parents (who by all accounts were loving and caring, and she was lucky to be placed with good people) were not her blood relatives.
There were parts I didn't understand, how indifferent she was to her kids...or how she wrote it down. Why would she get married at first to someone she didn't love. No one was pushing her in to to it, she just did it. No matter how good her life was she was never happy. I could go on but you get my jist.
I was more frustrated with parts of the story than heart warmed. The end was rushed. I did like her second husband, he seemed like a really cool guy.
Would I read it again, no. Am I happy she found her family, absolutely!

[Jane Mulkewich · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have read other books with similar stories and even with similar titles - this is another adoption story. The author is already a grandmother when she finds one sister that she always wondered about, and another sister that she didn't know existed. Their birth mother (Daisy) had left her first daughter behind in Jersey (when it was occupied by the Germans), had her second daughter taken from her 9 days after birth, and the author was her third daughter, also given up for adoption - before Daisy settled down and had four more children whom she raised. The author met Daisy twice, and only after Daisy died did she find out about the other sister and about the lies and deceptions that her birth mother had told. Fundamentally this is a story about the drive or quest for an adoptee to know her family origins, particularly when shrouded in mystery and secrecy and stigma.

[Sabiha · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love reading true stories, especially ones as heartwarming as this one. This book tells the story of a woman's long, gruelling quest to find her birth mother and sister, made possible by the show 'Long Lost Family' and Cherry's never ending dedication. The twists and turns in this book are truly remarkable, and I am astonished by Cherry's courage and positive attitude through it all. It tells a story of love, heartbreak, secrets, and determination. I felt like I knew the characters personally and wanted the best for them. I respect Cherry's honesty in this novel- about divorce, money, sibling fights, emotions- rather than her putting on a show of her perfect life. If you're looking for an easy read with a long of depth, this is definitely a book worth reading.

[Kirsty · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic genuine real life

I have already recommended this book, its fantastic with such real life emotions.
Cherrys story is one that everyone should read, not just those who have been adopted but by everyone, it shows genuine emotion and such passion to continue when life doesn't always go right for you.

[Dawn Rumsby-Jones · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you love ‘Long Lost Family’ then this book is for you. I read this in a day (it’s not a huge read, but it’s interesting enough to keep you riveted!) and as sad as some of it is, Cherry shares her story in a sensitive but honest way, sharing the highs and lows of her journey to trace her family.

[Susan Tietolman · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thoroughly enjoyed this book. It was a very fast read. The writer did not dwell on the negative but focused on the positive. She went through many trials and tribulations. Through determination she solved her problems and finally got closure on the truth about her biological parents and siblings.

[Crystal · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked this book because it shows the value of an ordinary life - we all have stories, some more complicated or dramatic than others, but all have meaning, and sharing the story also has meaning. It was also fun to find the video of the TV show that inspired the book on YouTube - the writer did her "characters" justice!

[Lynn Davidson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the true life story of the author who was given up for adoption and brought up as an only child. When Cherry found out she was adopted, she began her search for her biological family. There were disappointments and surprises along the way, one surprise being she learned she had a sister somewhere. This is such a good read, very interesting.

[Jen Winter · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is by no means riveting, but it was like sitting down to a cup of tea with an elderly relative and hearing their story. Comforting and warm. I felt I knew who Cherry was by the end and enjoyed little sidesteps things like the description of her outfits that enforced that feeling of familiarity.

[Shauna · Rating 3 out of 5]

Based on a true story. Cherry is looking for her biological family, mother, father and has been informed she has a sister. More comes out during her search for her background. Was a fast read, and a basic story of someone looking for their family.

[Amber · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was a bit predictable at times, but I still give it three stars because if I hadn't read other books like this before then I would've liked it more. I also really liked all the details Durbin gave us on World War 2.

[Bernadette · Rating 3 out of 5]

Wartime leads to many difficult decisions for many people. Cherry was adopted during WWII in England. Sensing something is missing from her life she searches for her roots, but the mystery isn’t as big as it seems. Still a lovely read.

[Shelley · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was easy to read and It kept me interested throughout. I read it quite quickly as it was interesting to follow the author's story of trying to trace her birth family. I do enjoy the TV Series Long Lost Family.

[Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really enjoyed this, lovely true story and easy to take in

[Emily · Rating 3 out of 5]

7

[Susanne · Rating 2 out of 5]

A bit predictable and boring at times. Too many details to make it move on.

[Joanne Reid · Rating 4 out of 5]

Amazing book! Great story! Sad but inspiring, and moving true story!