In the Shadow of Eight: Surviving the Reality of My Childhood

by Collin Gosselin

Collin Gosselin, one of the sextuplets from ​Jon & Kate Plus 8, breaks his silence ​to share the shocking story hidden behind the facade of a ​picture-perfect family.

For years, the world watched Jon & Kate Plus 8 through a lens of curated joy. But while the cameras captured the milestones, they missed the moments that defined Collin Gosselin’s life: the Christmas morning where the gifts were reclaimed as soon as the cameras went down, and the basement room where silence was his only companion.

In the Shadow of Eight is the first account of a secret childhood lived in the gaps between the frames. Collin is finally sharing the truth about being held down, the basement cell where he was hidden for years, and the cocktail of powerful antipsychotics forced on an eleven-year-old boy. This is a reckoning with the dark side of fame: the systems, the entourage, and the institutions that allowed one boy to be erased. This is the never before told story of how he escaped and found his way back from the dark.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Audiobook, Biography, Biography Memoir, Adult, Abuse

283 pages, Kindle Edition

First published October 13, 2026

About the author

Collin Gosselin is one of eight children of Jon and Kate Gosselin, featured on the popular TLC show Jon & Kate Plus 8. Born in 2004, he is now 22 years old and has begun to speak out on his true experiences behind the scenes.

source: Amazon

Reviews

[The Hateful Reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

Imagine doing everything in your power to break your own child, only for him to become everything you failed to see he could be.

Against all odds, including the ones his own mother created, Collin grew into someone strong, intelligent, loving, compassionate, and capable of the self-reflection she was never brave enough to have herself.

And now he holds up a mirror for the world to see what an absolute witch she is.

Collin, you deserve all the happiness in the world. I'm so glad you're finally starting to believe it.

Incredible well written, compelling and a must read.

[Lauren · Rating 5 out of 5]

I believe you, Collin!

[Elena · Rating 4.75 out of 5]

I just finished the book and I have more than a few choice words for that woman that calls herself a mother but sold her soul to the entertainment machine, exploiting her children.
I cried reading this, for the little boy I remembered from seeing 3 seasons of this show, the one that was quiet and gentle, that deserved as much love and attention and caring as any child from his parents.

I'm happy that despite everything he went through at such a vulnerable and impactful age, he has worked to grow into the emotionally intelligent adult he is today, it made me smile reading the last chapter and end notes!

Collin, if you ever get to read this, I want you to know that you are incredibly brave, and resilient, and deserve the world!

[Ashlee Ludwig · Rating 5 out of 5]

WE RIDE AT DAWN FOR COLLIN

[Katie Katieneedsabiggerbookshelf · Rating 4 out of 5]

Buckle. Up. Seriously…and be ready to be furious. My god this book has me spinning with rage. Every single adult in this book failed Collin. The only person that is even the slightest bit redeemable is Jon’s ex girlfriend Colleen who fought with Jon about releasing information about Collin against his wishes when he wanted to fight back against what Kate was saying to the media. Yes, she was going to the media to make herself look good. Yes she was spinning tales. But your child, the one she harmed through all of this, did not want details of his life and trauma dragged through the tabloids, especially not during middle/high school years. You respect that. Get over your pissing contest with your ex wife and respect your child. Also, how did you just not see him for years and never take Kate to court over it? You just believed that he didn’t want to see you and that was that? Come on…be a parent. So anyway, that was the GOOD parent in this situation. Like I said...buckle up.

Kate. You are a horrible human being. Seriously…we all saw the way she acted on TV, but it was so much worse than we saw. The things she did to Collin are diabolical, and I am ashamed to have ever given her income with my views of the show. Collin has undergone full psychological testing and does not have a single one of the diagnosis’s that she is pandering to the media. I am disgusted. Truly, just filled with rage for this poor child that just wanted to be loved by his mother. You want to start with boys will be boys? Yes, little boys will act out to get attention, actually boys AND girls do that. When you have 8 children, I’m sure at times each of them did something hoping to get your attention. You need to take a deep dark look at yourself and what made you treat a child the way you did.

And TLC and Fairmount Behavioral Health…you are in no way innocent in any of this either. Fairmount-you just took his mother’s word that he had these issues and then drugged the crap out of him for two years? Never questioned why his mother who was screaming her love for all her kids all over gods green earth only came to see him once in his entire time there? You never wondered why his father was not in any way shape or form involved? TLC, I am sorry but there is no way you had no idea that anything nefarious was going on. You were in that home, you saw the kids rooms. Sure we can’t prove what you knew, but I don’t buy for a second that anyone working on that show truly believed everything was happy go lucky. Especially knowing that you tried to pay Jon and Kate millions to not get divorced.

Every single adult in Collins life as a child should be ashamed of themselves. That is all.

[Melissa W · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book made me cry like a baby, yes for all the terrible things he went through but also for his bravery and positive outlook on his current life. THANK YOU for speaking up and taking control over the narrative of YOUR own life, we all deserve that. I don't doubt anything he said and shame on the people giving this book a low rating. If someone has the courage to speak up about the traumas of their past the least we can do as human beings is listen and not be judgemental. I encourage everyone to read this to really open thier eyes to not only issues within the mental health space ( I don't think Collin has mental health issues but am also no expert, but his mom may be the one that fits into this category), also the way kids are treated on any social platform in which they have little to no say in, and the way in which society thinks they have a say in other peoples lives. This book really touches on the fact that just because we see people on TV that is only a small snapshot of their life that is edited to fit into a timeslot. We truly do no know what someone is going through behind closed doors!

[Emily Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well, I think it’s safe to say that Kate Gosselin is going straight to hell.

[Carm · Rating 4.25 out of 5]

Did I watch Jon & Kate Plus 8? Yeah. I did. Was I aware of the scandals involving bodyguards or nannies while the mother of all Karens and her walking, talking Ed Hardy billboard of a husband were publicly divorcing? Also yes. Was I aware at the time how gross and exploitative it all was? Sadly, no. It's wild, the shit that passes for “entertainment.” I certainly didn’t recognize the toxicity and troubling behavior that now seem glaringly obvious after revisiting clips of the show online.

Looking back at the way Kate treated Jon and some of her on-camera discipline of the kids, particularly Collin, the allegations of abuse are horrifying, but sadly, not entirely surprising. And while I appreciate what Jon has done for Collin, I'm not letting him completely off the hook either. I believe he loves his children, but I also remember his very public midlife crisis, and I still question some of his motivations. Pushing Collin toward press appearances and agreeing to interviews before Collin was ready to share his story doesn't exactly sit right with me.

I knew some of Collin Gosselin’s story going in, but hearing it from him was something else entirely. What struck me most was how little bitterness he seems to carry, how determined he is to move forward and how genuinely he wants to protect other kids from going through the same thing. I hope people listen.

I also hope Kate Gosselin falls into a volcano.

[Elizabeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is worth reading just for that petty zinger in the very last sentence of the acknowledgements.

[Sam Grande · Rating 5 out of 5]

If I ever run into Kate it’s ON SIGHT

[Claire F · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kate deserves PRISON for what she did to that poor baby. Now I’m gonna go talk shit on her instagram.

[Merili · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was so well-written, and so haunting and sad.

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wowie I audiobooked this so hard; this was something I’ve been waiting for since I was 14 and wholly obsessed with Jon and Kate Plus 8. I really appreciate how Collin focused solely on his experience, especially noting the importance of owning your narrative, the importance of chosen family, and the reality that there are a lot of kids who experience trauma in mental health institutions (noting that a lot of kids are in foster care there). But above all, the voice of a kid who loved his siblings to an adult who still loves his siblings rings throughout this narrative. And I hope that his siblings see how Collin so carefully tried to only tell his history (even, at one point, noting that Kate’s childhood was “not my story to tell.”) and thus see that this is someone who has spent conscious effort considering how the actions of others hurt him, and thus he does not want to hurt others.

Midway through, I thought about how disappointed I was that there wasn’t more information about the reality tv show, but upon ending, I do think it’s appropriate. If it’s Collin’s story, he’s not going to remember much of when he was a toddler and child. Especially if he experienced trauma. Furthermore, when those stories are intertwined with the stories of 7+ others, it’s hard to tell them without inviting a bunch of misrepresentation and hurt. I understand why the book was formatted this way.

This book was remarkably insightful for a young twenty-something, and I am interested to see how Collin continues owning his story into something for good. I hope that, one day, he and his siblings can find a way to move forward - and if it’s not in front of America? That will be okay. These children deserve it after all that they’ve dealt with.

[Anna]

This book confirms everything I’ve ever thought about Kate Gosselin and her haircut.

But for real, I feel we are now coming to see some of the truly dramatic and heinous results of children on reality TV(and child stars in general). These children were exploited plain and simple.

Really sad story, but I’m glad Collin seems to be healing from a traumatic childhood.

[Cecily - MillennialBookGal · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you Collin Gosselin for being brave enough to tell your story to the world.

Kate (the original Karen, haircut and all) is exposed by her son for the sick way she isolated and treated one of her eight kids. I never could stand the woman but honestly I don't find what he said surprising.

I keep wanting to curse but I'll do my best to refrain. She messed him up. Psychologically I believe she ruined his life. Will he continue to grow and gain strength in himself over time, for sure, but who would he have become if she didn't decide he was less worthy than the others. Also, to cause parental alienation with Jon when she wanted nothing to do with him is just another layer of cruelty.

The revelation of all these stars of the 90s and 2000s of childhood by becoming a child star is growing consistantly and I fear what the children of tomorrow will be like with family channels on platforms like YouTube, tiktok, Facebook, etc..

I feel both angry and heartbroken reading this memoir but I am thankful he was was willing to share his story.

Intense memoir!

[Amanda Stone · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely Heartbreaking

I finished this book today, and I honestly don’t even know how to put into words how heartbreaking it was.

As a mother, I cannot begin to comprehend how anyone could treat their own child the way Collin describes being treated. Children are supposed to feel safe in their mother’s arms. Home is supposed to be their safe place, not somewhere they live in fear.

The thought of a little boy being locked away in a room, restrained with zip ties, isolated from his siblings, and eventually placed in an institution is absolutely horrifying. But what broke my heart even more was reading about his mother telling him that HE was the reason their family fell apart. Imagine being a little boy, already feeling unwanted and abandoned, and having the person who brought you into this world convince you that you were the problem.

He was never the problem. He was a CHILD.

What also sickens me is the idea of children being treated like puppets, expected to perform for cameras and generate money instead of simply being allowed to have a childhood. Children are not paychecks. They are not props. They are human beings who deserve love, privacy, protection, and the freedom to be themselves.

For years, millions of people watched this family on television, never knowing what Collin says was happening when the cameras weren’t rolling. It is a devastating reminder that the picture perfect lives we see on television can hide unimaginable pain.

What stands out to me most is that despite everything he describes enduring, Collin found the courage to tell his story. The little boy who was made to feel like he didn’t matter finally has a voice, and I hope the world listens.

I hope writing this book has brought him some healing. I hope he knows that he deserved so much better. Most importantly, I hope he knows that none of what happened to him as a child was his fault.

This book is difficult to read, but it is one I believe people should read. It is about so much more than reality television. It’s about childhood trauma, emotional abuse, exploitation, survival, and finding your voice after years of being silenced.

No child should ever have to spend their adult life healing from the person who was supposed to protect them.

My heart absolutely breaks for the little boy Collin once was, and I have so much respect for the man who found the strength to share his story.

[Carrie Shields · Rating 5 out of 5]

𝑻𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒕𝒉 𝒅𝒐𝒆𝒔𝒏'𝒕 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒃𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒑. 𝑺𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆𝒔 𝒊𝒕 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒆𝒂𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒂𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒂𝒓𝒆.

I went into this book knowing very little about Collin Gosselin beyond watching a few episodes of the reality show 𝑱𝒐𝒉𝒏 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑲𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝑷𝒍𝒖𝒔 𝑬𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕. I knew that he had been institutionalized as a pre-teen, but I came away feeling like I had been handed a completely different piece of the story. Growing up in the public eye is one thing. Growing up with cameras documenting your childhood when you are far too young to understand what that means is something else entirely. The things Collin shares about the abuse he endured at the hands of his mother, the isolation and family alienation, and the profound ways he was failed by the adults and systems around him were heartbreaking to read.

What surprised me most was how quietly he tells it. This never felt like a tabloid tell-all or an attempt to cash in on a childhood that was already exploited enough. His voice is introspective and almost matter-of-fact, and somehow that made the emotional weight even heavier. You can feel the sadness and isolation of the little boy who still lives somewhere inside the man telling this story. There were moments when I wanted to reach through the pages and tell that little boy that he deserved so much better. He deserved to feel safe and believed. He deserved to have a childhood that belonged to him instead of one that belonged to the cameras.

I devoured this book in less than twenty-four hours, but I don't think I'll be able to stop thinking about it anytime soon. More than anything, it made me think about our own role as consumers. We have normalized filming children, sharing their lives, dissecting their behavior, and turning their most vulnerable moments into entertainment and paychecks. We need to stop and ask ourselves what we're actually supporting. Children cannot consent to having their childhoods broadcast to millions of strangers. They shouldn't have to grow up and explain what it felt like to have their lives consumed by people who never knew them. I am grateful Collin survived, found his voice, and was able to tell this story on his own terms. This is a devastating, deeply human read that I won't soon forget.

[S · Rating 5 out of 5]

Believe kids.

[Emerson Pierce · Rating 3 out of 5]

FUCK KATE

[Phillipsbooknook · Rating 5 out of 5]

The system failed him. Adults in his life failed him. His mom is a bitch and she is the ultimate Karen and mommy dearest.

[Robin Loves Reading · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am not afraid to admit that I am drawn to reality television, especially when families are concerned. For years, I watched the Duggar family, the Bates family, and the Gosselin family. The Gosselins’ fame grew on TLC with the popular show Jon & Kate Plus 8, and later Kate Plus 8 after the couple split up. Their divorce was well-publicized, and for reasons I am not fully aware of, Jon Gosselin soon became estranged from his children.

The child in question for this review is now 22 years old, and it is Collin Gosselin, one of the sextuplets, consisting of three boys and three girls, with two older children who are twins. The full title of this book is In the Shadow of Eight: Surviving the Reality of My Childhood. Of course, this is Collin’s memoir and his version of what he had to experience. Personally, I had to stop watching the show after Jon left because Kate grew to be more and more intolerable. Is she guilty of the claims Collin makes in this book? That is not up to me, the reader, or the former fan, to answer.

I have to make another confession about a show I have been watching for the past three years, Special Forces: World’s Toughest Test. This year, Collin is one of the participants. Reading this book, watching him on that show, and watching the various interviews he has given have truly made me sympathetic to the things he experienced as a young child. Quite naturally, the scars he carries on the inside may never truly heal.

My prejudicial view in choosing Collin’s side stems from being constantly and painfully reminded of what Dave Pelzer relayed about his own childhood experiences in A Child Called “It,” The Lost Boy, and A Man Named Dave. There were other books Pelzer wrote, but I just could not read anymore.

Collin is now a young man in college, and I am genuinely interested in seeing where his future takes him. After reading his account of his childhood, I cannot help but feel for the little boy he once was and the pain he has had to carry into adulthood. No child should have to face the kinds of experiences Collin describes, and my heart aches for what he says he endured. While none of us can change his past, I hope the years ahead bring him the peace, healing, and happiness he deserves. Most of all, I hope he knows that his childhood does not have to define the man he becomes.

[Rose · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm seething. Kate, they could never make me not loathe you.

But enough about her. Collin, thank you for speaking up for yourself, as well as other kids who are being forced to grow up in the spotlight, whether that is reality tv or social media. And you are still so young, but you're already on an amazing path, continue to do you dude

[Maddie Cleer · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a weird feeling to listen to someone whose show you watched growing up… feeling like you grew up with them… expose the truth behind the cameras.

I commend Collin for speaking up, and putting the narrative in his own words.

Kate is notoriously known for her anal “motherly” behavior and intensity. Now, it just feels like we are finally hearing the truth of what happened when no one was watching.

[Jessica · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well then, I binged this in a day.
It’s just as rage inducing as you’d expect
May Collin and his siblings have nothing but a kind life

[Michele Bordeaux Deans · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a heartbreaking story of pain, survival, and resilience. It’s hard not to feel angry at the way Collin’s mother treated him. No child should ever have to endure what he went through. Despite all the cruelty and hardship, his story is also a powerful reminder of the strength it takes to survive and keep going. This was a difficult but moving read that really makes you appreciate the resilience of the human spirit. A sad, emotional story that will stay with me. Big hugs to Collin.

[Kim Novak (The Reading Rx) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very interesting audiobook listen (read by the author). As with most memoirs and family exposes, the book is written solely from Collin's POV and there are clearly other sides to his story which he acknowledges. My heart breaks for Collen and his sibs who grew up on the John and Kate Plus 8 limelight. We all know child stars (whether acting or reality TV) often have a challenging childhood experience and often come out the other side battered and bruised and traumatized. Participating in a long-term reality TV drama would make any family dysfunctional, but if there are actual pre-existing mental health concerns among any of the participants, they would have to be amplified, right? Who was driven off the edge more? Kate (I remember watching her seemingly unravel over the years)? Collin? Maybe both? I'm not sure once can determine that just from reading this book. Being in pediatric health care and familiar with one of his facilities as it was local to where I grew up, I have many more questions after reading this book than I had going in, and they are questions Collin wouldn't be equipped to answer based on his age at the time of his experiences. I absolutely believe this is Collin's recollection and perception of events, but I truly believe there is even more to his story. I hope writing this was good productive therapy for him and that he can finally move on as an independent adult with the family members he wishes to invite into his life. Once we are adults, family is what you make it, and genetics don't get you an automatic ticket to family dinner. The best revenge for a traumatizing childhood is to go forth and be happy and successful on your own terms. Go do that Collin!

[Sondra Arthur Garcia · Rating 5 out of 5]

A standing ovation for Collin’s bravery in sharing his emotional story with us; the abuse, the neglect, it’s utterly heartbreaking 💔
I’m SO angry! I was choking back the tears!
But also, I’m SO very proud of Collin - for continuing to move forward after living through unspeakable things that no child should have to endure - being denied a mother’s love, being spanked and slapped often, being isolated from his siblings, locked in a room in the basement (unable to even go to the bathroom when he needed to), for having to eat dinner alone AFTER everyone else, being forced to live in a residential treatment center for 2 years without any visitors or connection to the outside world, through all the anguish, loneliness, and challenges he faced everyday, you are a survivor. I am grieving for your past, Collin - and cheering for your future! Keep fighting for yourself!
And MUCH respect to John for fighting for his son.
A must read if you were ever a fan of the show!
🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

[Rachel Stisser · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kate Gosselin is the OG Karen & should be in jail. Shame on TLC for not looking into any of these allegations while they were filming at their house everyday.

[Paige · Rating 5 out of 5]

Finished this in one day — pheeeeew. Grew up watching this show and never imagined any of this.

[Sara Hadigian · Rating 3.5 out of 5]

as a certified former TLC addict i had to read this. was it well written? no. was it absolutely heartbreaking and necessary? yes.