In the Shadow of Eight: Surviving the Reality of My Childhood

by Collin Gosselin

Collin Gosselin, one of the sextuplets from ​Jon & Kate Plus 8, breaks his silence ​to share the shocking story hidden behind the facade of a ​picture-perfect family.

For years, the world watched Jon & Kate Plus 8 through a lens of curated joy. But while the cameras captured the milestones, they missed the moments that defined Collin Gosselin’s life: the Christmas morning where the gifts were reclaimed as soon as the cameras went down, and the basement room where silence was his only companion.

In the Shadow of Eight is the first account of a secret childhood lived in the gaps between the frames. Collin is finally sharing the truth about being held down, the basement cell where he was hidden for years, and the cocktail of powerful antipsychotics forced on an eleven-year-old boy. This is a reckoning with the dark side of fame: the systems, the entourage, and the institutions that allowed one boy to be erased. This is the never before told story of how he escaped and found his way back from the dark.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Biography, Adult, Biography Memoir, Audiobook, True Story

Audible Audio

First published October 13, 2026

About the author

Collin Gosselin is one of eight children of Jon and Kate Gosselin, featured on the popular TLC show Jon & Kate Plus 8. Born in 2004, he is now 22 years old and has begun to speak out on his true experiences behind the scenes.

source: Amazon

Reviews

[The Hateful Reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

Imagine doing everything in your power to break your own child, only for him to become everything you failed to see he could be.

Against all odds, including the ones his own mother created, Collin grew into someone strong, intelligent, loving, compassionate, and capable of the self-reflection she was never brave enough to have herself.

And now he holds up a mirror for the world to see what an absolute witch she is.

Collin, you deserve all the happiness in the world. I'm so glad you're finally starting to believe it.

Incredible well written, compelling and a must read.

[Elena · Rating 4.75 out of 5]

I just finished the book and I have more than a few choice words for that woman that calls herself a mother but sold her soul to the entertainment machine, exploiting her children.
I cried reading this, for the little boy I remembered from seeing 3 seasons of this show, the one that was quiet and gentle, that deserved as much love and attention and caring as any child from his parents.

I'm happy that despite everything he went through at such a vulnerable and impactful age, he has worked to grow into the emotionally intelligent adult he is today, it made me smile reading the last chapter and end notes!

Collin, if you ever get to read this, I want you to know that you are incredibly brave, and resilient, and deserve the world!

[Melissa W · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book made me cry like a baby, yes for all the terrible things he went through but also for his bravery and positive outlook on his current life. THANK YOU for speaking up and taking control over the narrative of YOUR own life, we all deserve that. I don't doubt anything he said and shame on the people giving this book a low rating. If someone has the courage to speak up about the traumas of their past the least we can do as human beings is listen and not be judgemental. I encourage everyone to read this to really open thier eyes to not only issues within the mental health space ( I don't think Collin has mental health issues but am also no expert, but his mom may be the one that fits into this category), also the way kids are treated on any social platform in which they have little to no say in, and the way in which society thinks they have a say in other peoples lives. This book really touches on the fact that just because we see people on TV that is only a small snapshot of their life that is edited to fit into a timeslot. We truly do no know what someone is going through behind closed doors!

[Katie Katieneedsabiggerbookshelf · Rating 4 out of 5]

Buckle. Up. Seriously…and be ready to be furious. My god this book has me spinning with rage. Every single adult in this book failed Collin. The only person that is even the slightest bit redeemable is Jon’s ex girlfriend Colleen who fought with Jon about releasing information about Collin against his wishes when he wanted to fight back against what Kate was saying to the media. Yes, she was going to the media to make herself look good. Yes she was spinning tales. But your child, the one she harmed through all of this, did not want details of his life and trauma dragged through the tabloids, especially not during middle/high school years. You respect that. Get over your pissing contest with your ex wife and respect your child. Also, how did you just not see him for years and never take Kate to court over it? You just believed that he didn’t want to see you and that was that? Come on…be a parent. So anyway, that was the GOOD parent in this situation. Like I said...buckle up.

Kate. You are a horrible human being. Seriously…we all saw the way she acted on TV, but it was so much worse than we saw. The things she did to Collin are diabolical, and I am ashamed to have ever given her income with my views of the show. Collin has undergone full psychological testing and does not have a single one of the diagnosis’s that she is pandering to the media. I am disgusted. Truly, just filled with rage for this poor child that just wanted to be loved by his mother. You want to start with boys will be boys? Yes, little boys will act out to get attention, actually boys AND girls do that. When you have 8 children, I’m sure at times each of them did something hoping to get your attention. You need to take a deep dark look at yourself and what made you treat a child the way you did.

And TLC and Fairmount Behavioral Health…you are in no way innocent in any of this either. Fairmount-you just took his mother’s word that he had these issues and then drugged the crap out of him for two years? Never questioned why his mother who was screaming her love for all her kids all over gods green earth only came to see him once in his entire time there? You never wondered why his father was not in any way shape or form involved? TLC, I am sorry but there is no way you had no idea that anything nefarious was going on. You were in that home, you saw the kids rooms. Sure we can’t prove what you knew, but I don’t buy for a second that anyone working on that show truly believed everything was happy go lucky. Especially knowing that you tried to pay Jon and Kate millions to not get divorced.

Every single adult in Collins life as a child should be ashamed of themselves. That is all.

[Savanna Leslie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Update: PUT HER IN JAIL 📢📢📢📢📢📢 fuck that bitch.



First page and I’m already in awe at the man you’ve become Collin! I’m so sorry we watched you and your siblings grow up on our screens.

[Ashlee Ludwig · Rating 5 out of 5]

WE RIDE AT DAWN FOR COLLIN

[Merili · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was so well-written, and so haunting and sad.

[Emily Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well, I think it’s safe to say that Kate Gosselin is going straight to hell.

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wowie I audiobooked this so hard; this was something I’ve been waiting for since I was 14 and wholly obsessed with Jon and Kate Plus 8. I really appreciate how Collin focused solely on his experience, especially noting the importance of owning your narrative, the importance of chosen family, and the reality that there are a lot of kids who experience trauma in mental health institutions (noting that a lot of kids are in foster care there). But above all, the voice of a kid who loved his siblings to an adult who still loves his siblings rings throughout this narrative. And I hope that his siblings see how Collin so carefully tried to only tell his history (even, at one point, noting that Kate’s childhood was “not my story to tell.”) and thus see that this is someone who has spent conscious effort considering how the actions of others hurt him, and thus he does not want to hurt others.

Midway through, I thought about how disappointed I was that there wasn’t more information about the reality tv show, but upon ending, I do think it’s appropriate. If it’s Collin’s story, he’s not going to remember much of when he was a toddler and child. Especially if he experienced trauma. Furthermore, when those stories are intertwined with the stories of 7+ others, it’s hard to tell them without inviting a bunch of misrepresentation and hurt. I understand why the book was formatted this way.

This book was remarkably insightful for a young twenty-something, and I am interested to see how Collin continues owning his story into something for good. I hope that, one day, he and his siblings can find a way to move forward - and if it’s not in front of America? That will be okay. These children deserve it after all that they’ve dealt with.

[Carm · Rating 4.25 out of 5]

Did I watch Jon & Kate Plus 8? Yeah. I did. Was I aware of the scandals involving bodyguards or nannies while the mother of all Karens and her walking, talking Ed Hardy billboard of a husband were publicly divorcing? Also yes. Was I aware at the time how gross and exploitative it all was? Sadly, no. Damn… the shit that used to pass for “entertainment.” I certainly didn’t recognize the toxicity and troubling behavior that now seem glaringly obvious after revisiting clips of the show online. Jesus…

Sure, I knew some of Collin Gosselin’s story going in, but hearing it from him was something else entirely. What struck me most was how little bitterness he seems to carry, how determined he is to move forward and how genuinely he wants to protect other kids from going through the same thing. I hope people listen.

I also hope Kate Gosselin falls into a volcano.

[Claire F · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kate deserves PRISON for what she did to that poor baby. Now I’m gonna go talk shit on her instagram.

[Amanda Stone · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely Heartbreaking

I finished this book today, and I honestly don’t even know how to put into words how heartbreaking it was.

As a mother, I cannot begin to comprehend how anyone could treat their own child the way Collin describes being treated. Children are supposed to feel safe in their mother’s arms. Home is supposed to be their safe place, not somewhere they live in fear.

The thought of a little boy being locked away in a room, restrained with zip ties, isolated from his siblings, and eventually placed in an institution is absolutely horrifying. But what broke my heart even more was reading about his mother telling him that HE was the reason their family fell apart. Imagine being a little boy, already feeling unwanted and abandoned, and having the person who brought you into this world convince you that you were the problem.

He was never the problem. He was a CHILD.

What also sickens me is the idea of children being treated like puppets, expected to perform for cameras and generate money instead of simply being allowed to have a childhood. Children are not paychecks. They are not props. They are human beings who deserve love, privacy, protection, and the freedom to be themselves.

For years, millions of people watched this family on television, never knowing what Collin says was happening when the cameras weren’t rolling. It is a devastating reminder that the picture perfect lives we see on television can hide unimaginable pain.

What stands out to me most is that despite everything he describes enduring, Collin found the courage to tell his story. The little boy who was made to feel like he didn’t matter finally has a voice, and I hope the world listens.

I hope writing this book has brought him some healing. I hope he knows that he deserved so much better. Most importantly, I hope he knows that none of what happened to him as a child was his fault.

This book is difficult to read, but it is one I believe people should read. It is about so much more than reality television. It’s about childhood trauma, emotional abuse, exploitation, survival, and finding your voice after years of being silenced.

No child should ever have to spend their adult life healing from the person who was supposed to protect them.

My heart absolutely breaks for the little boy Collin once was, and I have so much respect for the man who found the strength to share his story.

[Sondra Arthur Garcia · Rating 5 out of 5]

A standing ovation for Collin’s bravery in sharing his emotional story with us; the abuse, the neglect, it’s utterly heartbreaking 💔
I’m SO angry! I was choking back the tears!
But also, I’m SO very proud of Collin - for continuing to move forward after living through unspeakable things that no child should have to endure - being denied a mother’s love, being spanked and slapped often, being isolated from his siblings, locked in a room in the basement (unable to even go to the bathroom when he needed to), for having to eat dinner alone AFTER everyone else, being forced to live in a residential treatment center for 2 years without any visitors or connection to the outside world, through all the anguish, loneliness, and challenges he faced everyday, you are a survivor. I am grieving for your past, Collin - and cheering for your future! Keep fighting for yourself!
And MUCH respect to John for fighting for his son.
A must read if you were ever a fan of the show!
🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

[Emily Herg · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow

[Sam Grande · Rating 5 out of 5]

If I ever run into Kate it’s ON SIGHT

[Shelby · Rating 4.75 out of 5]

damn, no words

[Michele Bordeaux Deans · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a heartbreaking story of pain, survival, and resilience. It’s hard not to feel angry at the way Collin’s mother treated him. No child should ever have to endure what he went through. Despite all the cruelty and hardship, his story is also a powerful reminder of the strength it takes to survive and keep going. This was a difficult but moving read that really makes you appreciate the resilience of the human spirit. A sad, emotional story that will stay with me. Big hugs to Collin.

[Anna]

This book confirms everything I’ve ever thought about Kate Gosselin and her haircut.

But for real, I feel we are now coming to see some of the truly dramatic and heinous results of children on reality TV(and child stars in general). These children were exploited plain and simple.

Really sad story, but I’m glad Collin seems to be healing from a traumatic childhood.

[Chris Bedell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Setting the record straight!

This book was expertly narrated and written! Without dragging his siblings into it, Collin told HIS story...he left space where it needed to be left and spoke what needed to be said. I hope his truth and bravery inspire everyone to demand accountability from bullies and abusers (be they family, networks, corporations, or random people).

[Jennylee Yockel · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a really tough read. I hope the little boy that lives inside of Collin someday finds a way to fully heal, because almost every adult in his life failed him. It’s not hard to believe either, because all the world saw so many of the signs as this master manipulation played out.

[Isabelle Kotwicki · Rating 5 out of 5]

I bought the audiobook so I could listen at work. Absolutely heart breaking what a child had to go through, I was sitting there at my desk crying.

[Paige · Rating 5 out of 5]

Finished this in one day — pheeeeew. Grew up watching this show and never imagined any of this.

[Viv · Rating 5 out of 5]

The dude’s resilience is so inspiring! Turning your kids against one another is horrible…among the hundreds of horrible things miss karen haircut did omg

[Christy Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

I watched the show when it first came out. I have been anticipating this book and believe every word this young man says. We see you Colin, hear you and believe you.

[Sabrina · Rating 4 out of 5]

I normally don’t rate memoirs. The fact that Collin had a “mom” like that and went through what he went through, I’m rating it.


I’ve watched interviews Collin has done and this book is pretty much those with a little more detail. I don’t really want to speak much on it because it is only his side. I do think Kate was way in over her head with all these kids. I think she wanted little robots that did exactly what she wanted and Collin wasn’t that kid. He was too aware of everything around him for her liking. He knew too much of the “behind the scenes” and she didn’t like that. Jon isn’t as innocent as he tries to make himself seem. I think both of these parents could have done better not just for Collin but for all the kids as a whole. Having them in the spotlight most of their childhood wasn’t a smart move. Collin was treated differently than all the others and you can see that for yourself if you watch the show. I remember watching the show back in the day and seeing how Jon was and thinking to myself that Jon seems like he doesn’t care. The fact that his son was locked away for a year and a half and he “couldn’t find him” is so unbelievably to me. I also hate that Collin had to leave the Marines. It’s like Kate couldn’t let him have one good thing that he wanted. Ugh. It’s just all so sad. I hope Collin and his siblings have good adult lives, they all deserve it.

[geekoutonreading : Tiffany · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Filming consumed my memories for most of my childhood years. Life felt less and less like a childhood. It felt like a series of itineraries."

"Being free from a place doesn't mean you're free from what it did to you."

Collin Gosselin has made some amazing progress in his healing journey, but the way he describes his childhood is just soul crushing. He went through some horrendous things, that no child should ever have to go through, and this is one of the saddest and most heartbreaking memoirs I've ever read.

I just want to give that little boy I remember seeing on Jon & Kate Plus 8 a big hug and tell him he's loved and wanted and not a burden.

This was a tough read and I shed many tears. Thank you, Collin, for being vulnerable and strong and sharing your story.

*Trigger warnings: physical, mental, and emotional abuse and neglect.*

[Alice · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was incredibly moving. Reading about the abuse Collin says he endured at the hands of his own mother, being isolated in a basement and later placed in a facility and so much more was heartbreaking. What hurts most is how many adults turned a blind eye. Everyone who was supposed to protect him failed him.

Collin is incredibly brave for surviving and finding the courage to share his story. No child deserves such a childhood.

Collin, I hope you find the peace, healing and justice you deserve. ❤️

[Lisa M. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Couldn't wait to read this one. Listened to the whole book on release day! I am so proud of him for speaking his truth. His mom has done so much to try to ruin his life, but he's rising above. The things he went through are so incredibly sad! How can a mother treat her baby the way Kate did? I guess she just had others she liked better? That followed her rules better? She's a disgusting human. I hope she faces consequences for the things she did to Collin! If you were a John and Kate Plus 8 fan, you have to pick this one up!!!

[Mercedes McFarland · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book made me absolutely sick to my stomach and had me sobbing multiple times. It truly goes to show that you never really know what happens when the cameras are off and behind closed doors. My heart broke reading his story.

Collin, you are incredibly brave for sharing your experiences with the world. Thank you for being willing to tell your story, even when it meant revisiting such painful memories. I truly wish you nothing but happiness and all the love you deserve moving forward. ❤️

[Cynthia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Biographies will usually get a 5 ⭐️ from me. Sharing your life story is something so brave. And this one was a hard read for sure. It broke my heart to read how a mother can hurt her own child so much. I applaud Collin for sharing his story & allowing himself to be vulnerable & a voice for those who might feel like they’re alone. I watched the show when they were kids so I was intrigued. I really hope he gets to heal & help others do so as well.