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The Thinking Girl's Guide to the Right Guy: How Knowing Yourself Can Help You Navigate Dating, Hookups, and Love
Why can't I get a guy to like me? Should I hook up with him? Will he ever text me back? While young women today are more savvy and independent than ever, most still want a partner--someone to share a romance with, or maybe even a lifetime. But all too often, their relationships crash and burn after a few dates or encounters. This empowering guide shows women how to shift focus, so instead of trying to be what he wants, they can figure out what they need to be happy and fulfilled--and whether he has what it takes. Vivid, realistic stories of diverse women in their 20s are interwoven with self-assessment questions, science-based exercises, instructive checklists (that purchasers can download and print), and expert advice designed to help women build confidence and achieve their goals. An exciting, caring, and respectful relationship is possible--here's how to take control and make it happen.
- GenresRelationshipsNonfiction
322 pages, Paperback
First published February 12, 2016
23 people are currently reading
130 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
April 10, 2018
Though it is cheesy and a bit of an embarassing read (had this on my kindle... no way I'd let anyone catch me with that kind of cover on the T -- then again, perhaps if I knew and liked myself more, and claimed my personal power, it would not matter... one day....) this book offers great, practical advice. I wish I had read this when I was 17: partially because that's the reading level, and partially because there's so much in here about learning about yourself, your values, what you want, and how to bring that into a relationship in a healthy way; all this, and a wealth of dialogue to exemplify healthy conversations and self-talk. Perhaps had I established this framework for myself (which is clearly explained and backed by psychological research), I could have made much healthier decisions for myself and for past partners. But, alas. I went the sloppy route.
Then again - I think we all have to go the sloppy route before we can truly understand and appreciate the framework this book provides. And even then, we may find it super cheesy and skim a ton of it (as I did). I also didn't love the workbook style, which is pretty ineffectual on a kindle. I wanted a book that relied more heavily on summarizing actual research studies and their implications versus the silly character dialogues and activities.
But again, with that said-- there’s great advice here, which I have highlighted and tucked away for myself to use to assess future relationships (and breakups…), and to give the best advice possible to friends.
Then again - I think we all have to go the sloppy route before we can truly understand and appreciate the framework this book provides. And even then, we may find it super cheesy and skim a ton of it (as I did). I also didn't love the workbook style, which is pretty ineffectual on a kindle. I wanted a book that relied more heavily on summarizing actual research studies and their implications versus the silly character dialogues and activities.
But again, with that said-- there’s great advice here, which I have highlighted and tucked away for myself to use to assess future relationships (and breakups…), and to give the best advice possible to friends.
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March 15, 2017I decided not to provide an outline of the book as I felt the title ‘The Thinking Girls Guide To The Right Guy: How Knowing Yourself Can Help You Navigate Dating, Hookups, and Love’ covered it quite well.
Initially I felt the book was aimed at a younger age bracket i.e. university level due to discussions on hooking up. Further into the book I realized the points/tips were really applicable at any age It also occurred to me that I couldn’t think of any reason why an older person couldn’t hook up with someone if they wanted to providing commonsense was used. Though I wasn’t in a relationship at the time of reading it was still useful to be reminded of the importance of communication and having needs met in a relationship. This gave me a little clarity on how I might have contributed to the breakup of previous relationships and what could be improved on for new ones.
The skills discussed in the book are fundamental and work for everyone and several statements/points have stayed with me as follows:
• A relationship doesn’t survive on love alone
• If you don’t speak up in a relationship then your needs won’t be met. How you speak up is vital.
• The use of realistic self talk has a positive effect.
• There are several ways of showing someone we like them
I liked how the stories of seven women were used to illustrate and explain different points. The resource section was also very handy as it included links to supporting information, research and further reading.
Sections of the book were easily read like a novel and others I felt the need to focus so the information would be retained. I found the formatting a little distracting at times and was unsure if that was due to copyright, pre publication/press release?
This book is recommended for anyone who feels they need some relationship help and also see where they went wrong in the past.
A free digital copy of this book was provided by the publisher via Netgalley and the review is solely mine. (less)
Initially I felt the book was aimed at a younger age bracket i.e. university level due to discussions on hooking up. Further into the book I realized the points/tips were really applicable at any age It also occurred to me that I couldn’t think of any reason why an older person couldn’t hook up with someone if they wanted to providing commonsense was used. Though I wasn’t in a relationship at the time of reading it was still useful to be reminded of the importance of communication and having needs met in a relationship. This gave me a little clarity on how I might have contributed to the breakup of previous relationships and what could be improved on for new ones.
The skills discussed in the book are fundamental and work for everyone and several statements/points have stayed with me as follows:
• A relationship doesn’t survive on love alone
• If you don’t speak up in a relationship then your needs won’t be met. How you speak up is vital.
• The use of realistic self talk has a positive effect.
• There are several ways of showing someone we like them
I liked how the stories of seven women were used to illustrate and explain different points. The resource section was also very handy as it included links to supporting information, research and further reading.
Sections of the book were easily read like a novel and others I felt the need to focus so the information would be retained. I found the formatting a little distracting at times and was unsure if that was due to copyright, pre publication/press release?
This book is recommended for anyone who feels they need some relationship help and also see where they went wrong in the past.
A free digital copy of this book was provided by the publisher via Netgalley and the review is solely mine. (less)
June 28, 2022
I've read a lot of scholarship by dating coaches, therapists, social workers, but this one spoke the most to me. It doesn't try to present the "ideal" relationship as some mystical thing that one must unravel using magic thinking or esoteric rituals. Instead, it uses common sense, simple language, and clear, relatable examples to demonstrate how a healthy relationship should look - on multiple levels.
As someone who comes from a conservative background, without deep understanding of how a ANY relationship works, this book provides a highly useful outline on how to initiate, evaluate, and healthily assert a good relationship. Also particularly useful for me because Asian culture does not emphasize assertiveness, so sometimes it's good to get a refresher on how one can healthily assert without feeling guilty.
As someone who comes from a conservative background, without deep understanding of how a ANY relationship works, this book provides a highly useful outline on how to initiate, evaluate, and healthily assert a good relationship. Also particularly useful for me because Asian culture does not emphasize assertiveness, so sometimes it's good to get a refresher on how one can healthily assert without feeling guilty.
February 3, 2017
Excellent book on healthy relationships.
"The Thinking Girl's Guide to the Right Guy: How Knowing Yourself Can Help You Navigate Dating, Hookups, and Love" is well written. The author does make some interesting points. The book is full of good advice, and I got a lot of insight from this book that I never knew before. The book teaches every woman to find the right and healthy relationship. I wish I read this when I was younger. Please read this book if you want to understand yourself and your relationships better.
Thank you Netgalley for this book.
"The Thinking Girl's Guide to the Right Guy: How Knowing Yourself Can Help You Navigate Dating, Hookups, and Love" is well written. The author does make some interesting points. The book is full of good advice, and I got a lot of insight from this book that I never knew before. The book teaches every woman to find the right and healthy relationship. I wish I read this when I was younger. Please read this book if you want to understand yourself and your relationships better.
Thank you Netgalley for this book.
July 9, 2017
A friend recommended this to me after she read it and ive since passed it forward to 5 more who all loved it
We could all see parts of ourselves in more than a few of the characters and the book felt helpful and easy to read without feeling preachy
The tools in the book are something every girl should be taught before they start entering into romantic relationships, as well as those older who can definitely find attached least a few things that will help moving forward
We could all see parts of ourselves in more than a few of the characters and the book felt helpful and easy to read without feeling preachy
The tools in the book are something every girl should be taught before they start entering into romantic relationships, as well as those older who can definitely find attached least a few things that will help moving forward
February 6, 2020
This was an interesting book. The make or break point is how artifical the examples are. The 6 women who are followed through their journey all seemed fairly believable. I didn't think I had a very good understand of what goes on for the other side, now I think I have a better idea of potential conflicts and means of approaching disagreements I wouldn't have had I not read this.
I feel like I learned something, which is what I wanted when I went to read this.
I feel like I learned something, which is what I wanted when I went to read this.
March 18, 2016
Just not applicable to me. This book is targeted towards 20-something women that are dealing with a lot of scenarios I've already dealt with. If you're a younger woman, this might appeal to you but I found nothing helpful here.
This review is in exchange for a free e-galley from Netgalley.com.
This review is in exchange for a free e-galley from Netgalley.com.
July 1, 2016
Really helpful book for any woman who struggles expressing her needs in romantic relationships. Even as a married therapist there are some valuable nuggets I'll be taking away from this book. I definitely recommend it.
April 6, 2017
A week ago my therapist wanted me to read this book when I couldn't stop crying. All single ladies over the age of 18 need to read it. I will be 100% living by this book (in/after) any relationships I have in the future. It has helped me in so many ways.
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews