We Don't Talk About That: One Family's Journey to the Other Side of Tragedy

by Amanda Schoepp

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir

248 pages, Paperback

Expected publication October 15, 2026

Reviews

[Whitney Hofstetter · Rating 2 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and Koehler Books for an advanced copy of the book.

2/5 stars

Plot: Non-fiction about a family tragedy. Brief look at inter generational trauma.

Impression: I did not connect well with this book, perhaps due to my own expectations. I was hoping to read more about the crime, investigation, and the role of trauma in the survivors lives. This was instead a deep dive into the authors family history as a whole. I didn’t feel that the childhood of family members that married into the Deshotels family was relevant- many different characters were introduced and hard to keep straight. Anecdotes such as the first time someone ate a Reuben sandwich cluttered the story. This is a lovely tribute for the family but missed the mark for me as both a memoir and exploration of the impact of trauma.

Trigger Warnings: abuse, murder/suicide, infidelity, mentions of addiction

Star System: 5 star reads are books I can’t put down and/or make me cry. This is a book that will stick with me for either the topic, writing style, or emotional impact.
4 star books are unique or interesting and perhaps teach me something new. A feel good read is usually 4 stars.
3 star reads are good, solid books. I’m not necessarily learning or feeling anything new.
2 star books have some plot holes or timeline issues. These are the books that just aren’t believable.
1 star books are typically offensive

[Julianne Nanzer · Rating 2 out of 5]

The organization, complexity and depth of this book was honestly confusing. Trying to keep names straight and jumping timelines was so hard to follow. I really wanted to enjoy this, but I just couldn’t. I think simplifying the stories and tying it all together throughout would’ve kept the reader on track. I don’t really need to know every little detail about immediate family members AND in-laws.

DNF at 47%.

Thank you to NetGalley and Köehler Books for the opportunity to dive into this Advance Readers Copy!

[Haley · Rating 2 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and Köehler Books for providing me with an advance copy in exchange for an honest review.

2/5 stars

I was excited to read this book after learning it was based on a family secret involving a murder-suicide. The author clearly put an incredible amount of time and effort into researching the family and uncovering the stories surrounding its history.

However, the book focused much less on the crime itself and more on the effects of uncovering the shocking family secret and how that discovery impacted different members of the family. The number of family members introduced became confusing early on and made the story difficult to follow at times.

There were also moments when the writing felt almost like a stream of consciousness, as though the story was being written in real time as the author’s thoughts unfolded. This didn’t always translate well for me as a reader and made the narrative feel somewhat unfocused.

Ultimately, the storyline felt different from what had initially drawn me to the book. I think I would have enjoyed the book more if the story had aligned more closely with what I expected based on the book’s description.

Overall, it’s clear the author put a great deal of time, research, and heart into telling this story. Unfortunately, I just didn’t find it as engaging as I had hoped.

[Amy Begley · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars. The family history is intriguing and heavy, I appreciate all the research and heart in this book as well as touching on heavy subjects like generational trauma and PTSD. It was an easy read, but also storied and confusing at times. I can literally see the author wrestling with her thoughts almost as if in a therapy session and I appreciate that, however some of the story and flow gets left behind and parts of the book fall flat. The character development is there but confusing at times. I did enjoy this book and appreciate the honesty and healing, I think it will touch many, but just fell a little short at times for me. Thanks to NetGalley for this read.

[Valerity (Val) · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a good read about a family that endured a horrific loss in the early 1960s when their dad killed their mom and then himself after a night out. The four offspring felt the effects in many ways, and most of the family just buried it and didn’t talk about it at all. Many of the coming generations didn’t learn about it until after they became adults, because it was kept so quiet in the family. In later years, the family could see the generational trauma and how it affected so many of them.

[Hannah · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very interesting book about a family tragedy.
The writing style is natural and follows the history of the authors family.
It was a very interesting read and I recommed, however it felt like this book was for family not the wider public. I wish the themes had been more explores, such as domestic violence, PTSD and family trauma. It was briefly discussed further than their family in the last few chapters.

Thanks for the ARC from Köehler Books!

[Melissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I felt for this family. It was heartfelt and heartbreaking. I found it hard to follow at times. Even though the trauma was hard, the author did a great job writing this story for their family.

[Barbara Clifford · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was hoping for a true crime story the reasons the why but this book did not go into this. It was about issues the family had as a result of the crime.

[Michelle Ardillo · Rating 3 out of 5]

See my review at http://michelleardillo.com/2026/08/05...