Night on Fire is pretty darn amazing. I got this ARC at BookExpo America. When I first started reading, and realized that this piece of historical fiction centered around a white girl, I thought it might be one of those books about how the white girl swoops in and "saves" the black folks. But this wasn't that. Instead, the main character Billie is very real, and honest in a way that few of us can be, even with ourselves. Billie starts out thinking that she's not a racist, but over time she learns that racism is ingrained in her life, her community, her family, herself. As she spends time with her new friend Jarmaine, she learns to see the world through her eyes. However, she has the clarity to realize that she will never truly understand exactly what it feels like to be black, that the best she can do is try to learn more, to open her eyes, to provide support, to stand with her friend. Billie shows us what being a true ally is about. Jarmaine is Billie's maid's daughter. Billie always considered her maid to be a part of the family, but she never gave a moment's thought to her maid's family until Jarmaine confronted her one day. Billie continues to have realizations like this throughout the story- oh, Jarmaine has to take a basket of food on the bus because she isn't welcome at the lunch counter; oh, Jarmaine's family can't afford a car or a bike, so she has to walk everywhere and boy do my feet hurt when I have to walk this long distance with her in my church shoes; oh, Jarmaine can't go to the department store where I shop to pick out a present for her mom... And more and more and more. Billie realizes that her family, and even she herself, has played a role in keeping people like Jarmaine down and writing it off as culture or just the way things are. By just watching and not stepping in to change things, by not speaking up, by idly standing by as her father perpetuates racism, Billie herself is contributing to the racism. To her credit, Billie feels the feelings that these realizations give her- discomfort, maybe shame, and then she moves forward and just tries to be a better person with the new information she has. Wouldn't the world be a better place if we all did that? Many people around Billie (and many people today), take those feelings and strike back, whether with mild defensiveness or violence or something in between. By the end of the book, Billie is attuned to microaggressions (things she saw as normal before, or maybe didn't even notice), and she begins to speak up for her beliefs, even when it's scary to do so. What I am taking away from Night on Fire is this: being a good ally is not about me. There are times when I will not know things. I will make mistakes. I will always have more to learn because I will never fully understand. And that's ok. It's completely normal. The best I can do is to try to do better and better next time, and the time after that, and always in the future.
Editing in 2021 to note that the language has changed around allyship from being an ally to acts of allying. I would like to re-read this book now and see if I feel the same way about it or if it does come off as a white savior story to me now that I know more. I will also add that books written by a white person can never, ever take the place of an own voices book.