Clusterfuk

by Merrill David, CJ Grey (Narrator)

Clusterfuk

The term ‘cluster’ is often used when spiders are touching or in close proximity to each other. Meanwhile, when humans are ‘close and touching each other,’ one thing can certainly lead to another. Virgil Pentegrass, along with his other horny co-workers such as conjoined twin sisters Mona and Gabby, are trapped in their local Super Store, which has been overrun by killer Brazilian Wandering Spiders. The arachnids are known for their venomous bites which can cause painful long-lasting erections and / or death. Destiny led several customers; a cloistered nun named Christina and a blind guy with a mini horse service animal named ‘Pokey,’ to the same predicament as well.

With their space severely restricted and contaminated by the deadly spiders, tempers soon flare and pressure mounts. The quarantined humans are about to erupt in more ways than one. When some opportunistic fun seekers orchestrate a hot tub party to take minds off their situation, the plan comes to fruition. The get-together flowers into a frivolous sexual soiree. But before long the fun is overshadowed by mayhem and even murder. And with the gaze of a thousand watchful eyes glued to the humans’ every move, the entire scene has turned to, you guessed it; A CLUSTERFUK!

WARNING; this splattery horror/ murder mystery contains repulsive, graphic sexual situations, as well as disgusting and disturbing violence that many listeners could find offensive

Audible Audio

Published June 17, 2026

About the author

Merrill David is a brain tumor survivor who now resides in East Texas with his wife and their Chiweenie dog Vinny. Merrill's list of works includes his Wicked Awake zombie novel series, a splatterpunk sci-fi novel called Fester, a paranormal amusement park novel called Season Pass, a horror / mafia crime novella called Lasagna, two collections of my own disgusting stories called Appendage and Every THING You Love, extreme horror anthologies Head Blown and Head Blown Too, and a Western Horror anthology called Tumble Bleed.

Follow me at any of these places to be the first to know when my next book will be out!


Facebook- merrilldavidhorror
Instagram- merrilldavidhorror
Email- merrilldavidhorror@gmail.com
TikTok - @merrilldavidhorrorauthor

Reviews

[Adam · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was sent to me in return for an honest review.

I have read several books these past few weeks as part of indietron2026. They have all been horror. And I think this has been my favourite so far.

The writing is great and engaging and fast paced. The story gets going right of the bathroom and I like the fact that it actually gave you the back story of event that lead to the plotline. This is probably my furthest journey into spatterpunk at the moment and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

If you aren't squirmish and enjoy these type of books this is a recommendation... As long as you aren't an arachnophobe

[Erica★ · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read as part of Horror IndieTron 2026

This book was absolutely insane. I never knew where the story was heading it just became more outrageous with every chapter. If you have a fear of spiders, this will probably hit a lot harder, but I personally didn’t find it scary.

What surprised me most was how funny it was. The over-the-top chaos had me laughing more than I expected, making this a wild, entertaining read from start to finish.

[Lucy · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 ⭐
This book is living up to its name. It was like reading a crazy spicy slasher comics. More funny than I expected but sometimes a little confusing.

[Rebecca Bectoria · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed the plot line of this story and how it even goes back to how it all started. But there were certain parts I just didn't like, the sex it just wouldn't happen (I understand there has to be imagination in these types of books but it took me away from the story), there's killer spiders on the loose and you are stuck inside there's just no way. The nuns and what happened to the twins unfortunately I just didn't enjoy those parts. I didn't find this book scary maybe creepy because of the spiders. The spiders were good to read and I did find them unsettling and also the island part in the story very good.

[Shaina Renae · Rating 5 out of 5]

Merrill is at it again with another sick, sexy, twisted tale of scary spiders, sexy nuns and a fantastic guide animal. I laughed. I cringed. I gagged a time or two. It was a great ride!

[amzreads92 · Rating 3 out of 5]

Was an entertaining read, hasn't helped my phobia of spiders.

[Zane · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have questions. Mostly: WHY ARE THERE SO MANY SPIDERS?! 🕷️😂 Clusterfuk is exactly the kind of title that makes a promise and then absolutely keeps that promise.
Virgil and his unfortunate coworkers are trapped inside a local superstore after it’s overrun by killer Brazilian wandering spiders. And because being trapped with venomous spiders apparently isn’t stressful enough, a bizarre collection of survivors gets thrown into the situation too.
A nun.
A blind man with a miniature horse service animal.
A bunch of terrified customers.
And enough interpersonal chaos to make the spiders look like the calm ones.
Then somebody decides a hot tub party is exactly what everyone needs during a spider apocalypse. Because nothing says “we’re definitely going to survive this” like getting naked while surrounded by thousands of venomous arachnids. 😂 From there, the situation spirals into splatter, murder, mayhem, dark humor, and absolute chaos.
What makes this stand out is how completely unhinged the premise is. It takes the classic fear of being trapped somewhere with spiders and turns the dial until the knob falls off. And the title? Perfect. This isn’t just a clusterfuk.
It’s a FULL SCALE CLUSTERFUK. If you’re looking for something weird, outrageous, nasty, chaotic, and unapologetically over the top, this is definitely one to put on your horror radar.
⚠️ Content Note
This is aimed at mature readers and contains graphic violence, disturbing imagery, adult sexual content, and other potentially offensive material.

[Kazoo Mazoo · Rating 4 out of 5]

★★★★☆ 4/5

A giant retail store. A shitload of people. Murder. Sex. And thousands of fucking spiders.

Welcome to Clusterfuk.

This is basically extreme horror meets a completely unhinged B-movie comedy. The story follows Virgil and the increasingly ridiculous chaos inside a massive store as the body count climbs and the spiders take over.

The thing I liked most is that this book knows it's ridiculous. The humor is crude, the deaths are outrageous and the whole thing has a "how the hell did we get here?" energy.

The downside is that the sheer number of characters and subplots can get chaotic, and some of the jokes worked better for me than others.

But honestly? You're not picking up Clusterfuk for realism.

You're picking it up because you want spiders, gore, sex, murder and absolute insanity.

And it delivers.

I received a copy through the 2026 Horror Indie-Tron initiative. I wrote a honest review on my own volition.

[Leigh Beck · Rating 5 out of 5]

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Clusterfuk - @merrilldavidhorror

I FELT ITCHY THE ENTIRE WAY THROUGH!

I really enjoyed this book, it was something different to your traditional horror or splatterpunk novel, and I devoured it!

The plot was insane, the content was bonkers, and the thrill was on point. I couldn't put this one down, it held my attention throughout and I was really rooting for these characters - which tells you all you need to know about the writing.

JUST BEWARE OF BANANAS!
YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT MIGHT BE LURKING IN THE CRATE!

Highly recommended from me, and I would definitely pick up other books from this author in future.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

#indietron #indieauthor #splatterpunk #horror #bookstagram

[Horromantasy Book Mom · Rating 5 out of 5]

Talk about a ClusterFUCK 🤭

It felt like I was reading the baby of what I’d imagine a breed between Dawn of The Dead (2004), Stranger Things & Arachnid (2001 would be…. But that’s not all cuz then, throw that muther fucker in an orgy and WEPA! You have this delicious little spider beast of a read!

The ending had my jaw in the floor! I’m a very visual person when I read; I create movies in my head and this was super fun 🤭

if you have any arachnid triggers, stay away. Otherwise, sink your teeth into this creature feature

[DJJarvisReads · Rating 4 out of 5]

This one made me feel like when you walk through a spider’s web, you wipe the web off of you but it still lingers for a while like you still have some on your skin — Itchy and icky. I enjoyed this story though. It gave me cheesy horror flick vibes, and I love that. I definitely do not appreciate that this book has made me eerily more aware that spiders can enter your body through your orifices while you’re sleeping. But I do appreciate the descriptive gore and the storytelling! Definitely recommend this one!

[Kez_After_Dark · Rating 4 out of 5]

What in the arachnophobic mindf**k was this??? 🕷️🕸️
I'm still laughing about the tiny horse scene near the end of the book 🤣... don't ask ha ha.
Virgil is having a hard few days. Trapped with co-workers and shoppers alike, in the supermarket where he works; surrounded by venomous spiders!! 🕷️
Mayhem ensues; sex, nuns, murder, tiny horses 🤣, gore, the full she-bang.
I don't know what else to say. I did laugh whilst reading some parts of this. I also stared at the wall a few times 🤣.
Suspend your disbelief and creep in. It's fun 🕷️🕸️
#indietron

[Amanda Lee · Rating 4 out of 5]

Clusterfuk was a funny, gross, and surprisingly gripping read. I've never been particularly afraid of spiders but that may change now! haha

The writing was so good and I liked that there was some backstory given.

I was never quite sure where the story was going which kept me hooked and made it hard to put down.

It's chaotic and gloriously gross and, if that's you're thing, then I highly recommend it.

[Bella! · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book kept surprising me in all the best ways, I had no idea where it would go. I love when a book is both gory and funny! The characters are as weird and twisted as the plot. It probably hits harder if you're scared of spiders, but it's still a very entertaining, silly story. Three strong stars.

[CoryReads · Rating 4 out of 5]

Virgil Pentegrass wasn’t lying when he said his week has been absolutely fucking insane.
Super Skippymark is quarantined due to an outbreak of crazy ass brazilian spiders, but now people are getting picked off one by one and it isn’t just the spiders killing.
The book was fun. Always a plus when a book makes me laugh, gag and say wtf at least 5 times. I look forward to reading more from this author.

[Emma Haughian · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a fast paced horror about killer spiders. I did go in blind not knowing anything about the book and when I realised it was about spiders it worried me because I have a massive fear of them, but I kept reading. I’m glad I did but may have nightmares tonight haha

[Ang · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thoroughly enjoyed this hook. Not a huge fan of spiders but the book was such a fun, insanely entertaining and horrific read all rolled into one. Will keep an eye out for more if this authors work. Thank you to indietron and the author for a copy of the book. Brilliant

[Abi Plested · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well this was a ride 😂
My final book of the 2026 horror indietron and what a way to finish. This book was bonkers. Scary, funny, gross, sexy (I say that loosely!!) - I honestly didn’t know what would come next (or who for that matter)

Honestly, great fun.

[sugarnsass_reads · Rating 5 out of 5]

Like reading a fun, low budget cult classic. Conjoined Twins. Pokey. Brazilian Wandering Spiders. Grossness. This book is a straight up Clusterfuk. Insanity runs wild in this gag, giggle, glued to the pages read! The spiders aren’t the only threats in this wild romp!

[Darlene Day]

The book was just that, it was a clusterfuk.
Now I can see where some people may like this when it comes to entry level extreme horror.
But for someone who read a lot of horror/splatter punk/extreme horror this unfortunately did not live up to my expectations
Between the back and forth POV.
The almost immature dialogue
And a plot that just felt lack luster to say the least.
It just unfortunately was not for me.
And I honestly just could not take it serious nor could I connect with it.
Now i will give credit in the aspect that it was in fact a clusterfuk like the tile said.
And it did in fact give off fever dream vibes.

[Jyoti Sonagara · Rating 4 out of 5]

Was not expecting to have fallen in love with the sickening spider storyline. This novel is a must read fast catchy, and even more intriguing and really has your skin crawling in feeling

[Cassandra Joy Hoover · Rating 4 out of 5]

Clusterfuk

Sorry yall,
What happens in the Skippermart stays in the skippermart.
You gotta read the book .
It's definitely entertaining.
I enjoyed it

[Lisa Groves · Rating 4.5 out of 5]

The employees and customers of a super store/mini mall are trapped inside while a Brazilian Walking Spider infestation wreaks havoc on this Rhode Island Skipper Mart.
The story took so many shocking twists and turns the pages flew by.
From microwave radiation to priapism, pimple popping, conjoined twins, reality tv, I mean this novel is action and plot packed.
So entertaining, funny, gross, and twisted. Read this book!!!

[kim wood · Rating 5 out of 5]

Clusterfuk

Really enjoyed this book from Merrill.
Funny , great characters,fast paced and well written. This book doesn’t make me like spiders 🕷️ any less ‼️

[LisaNicole · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you’re scared of spiders, don’t even consider this book.
Well written twisted story that requires a bit of suspended disbelief.
I was definitely left sitting wondering what the hell I just read when I finished the book.

[Jaci Duncan · Rating 2 out of 5]

*2.5*
I’ll start this by saying this book wasn’t for me. Nothing against the author or the book it just wasn’t for me. Some of the dialogue and banter was pretty funny. It was a wild ride overall. There were a few things I didn’t quite understand but that could just be me. The way the book was written confused me a bit because the book starts out in Virgil’s point of view, we’re in his head thinking his thoughts, then by the end we’re in everyone’s head. It went from a pov to narration and I was a bit confused by that. Overall the book does a great job at making you feel uncomfortable and freaked out which I think was great
#indietron

[Denay Rose · Rating 3 out of 5]

Spiders ravage a big box store, slutty nuns, and a plot that just keeps getting more and more outrageous; I found this to be a decent palate cleanser read. Strangely funny and extremely campy, it read like a movie from the depths of Tubi. Was it for me? Not really. But it very well could be for someone else perhaps with a fear of spiders, dark net gambling or priapism. Nevertheless, I had to keep reading to see what could possibly happen next, so maybe it WAS.

[Malocasia · Rating 5 out of 5]

gore galore

Holy wow. Bug gore is so spooky to me. Haha it give me the heebie jeebies every time. Very twisty, quick, and gory. Loved it!

Also, the pony was a funny touch

[Irvin · Rating 4 out of 5]

“With a massive erection cums great responsibility” From spiders, nuns, cheerleaders, and a miniature horse this story was fast paced and fun to read

[Kirsty Carson · Rating 2.5 out of 5]

2.5 rounded up to 3.
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